Fandom Red Vs Blu: The Very Retarded Battle. (TF2 Roleplay.)

[Furious Finch]

Lacking any real equivalent to a unified perimeter defense network, Heatsink's denizens are relatively open to wanton attacks. Though attacking BLU would require equal to or greater numbers, and RED's base isn't easy to find...


Point being, Sonja and her traitorous "companion" are quite vulnerable to OWN mercs' attacks with no support.


The sound of gun/syringefire drew the attention of BLU snipers on the boundaries of their base and several dozen of them lined up their scopes to see what was going on. The situation thoroughly confuses them as they watch. A fourth party inside a nearby structure is also disturbed by the scuffle...

 

[VirtualUnity]

"As the 3 oWn soldiers gets hit in the eye the heavy revs up his Tomislav and starts firing at the Medic and Traitor Scout"


(Pyrecter)Oh Bonk has it been what? 2, 3 years since you betrayed the oWn it would be nice to gut you like fish you are"Pyrecter lunges towards Bonk duel wielding the axe tongues her and powerjack"





(Ethan North)Well while Pyrecter is preoccupied with the scout why don't we take care of the Medic Anthony?"As Ethan smirks facing Anthony"





(Anthony Christian)Hehehehe! I'm going to enjoy this Maggot!"Anthony said as he charging carelessly towards Sonja with his half zatoichis in hand"





@Dawn2Dusk @DarkLordFTW

 

[Dawn2Dusk]

"Ha! No." Sonja grinned as she dodged the obviously too-cocky Soldier's blades, grabbed his face and slammed it to the ground. She then pulled his rather dazed body up and used him as a bullet shield, before throwing his rather bullet-filled body at the Heavy, most likely knocking both unconscious. "Haha! Whew, mind if I use some of my excess adrenaline up on you, hardhat?" She laughed, running at him and quickly sawing off his shooting arm.

 

[Furious Finch]

A metal ushanka peers out of a four story window, the owner's dark and scarred face twisted into a squint as he looked down upon the fighting.

 

[VirtualUnity]

(Ethan North)Ahh!!"He screamed as he dodged it but suffered a slice bleeding he called for the oWn Medic"Medic!"The medic heard him and rushed to heal him as the Medic got to him he started healing him"Now you pissed me off!"As Ethan removes his Glove to show his Robotic hand he started constructing 2 mini sentries to deal with Sonja while Pyrecter is still Chasing down bonk"


@Dawn2Dusk

 

[Dawn2Dusk]

"Well, f**k." Sonja growled, adrenaline rush clearly over. Now she had to think strategically. Like killing off the Medic. She sprinted away from the rapidly-being-constructed sentries, hoping someone would follow. She'd probably saw off their neck and use them as another bullet shield.

 

[VirtualUnity]

(Ethan North)Medic follow me were chasing the Medic and Anthony wake the F*ck up the medic is escaping!"





(Anthony Christian)Ugh... I'm up! wha- where is the medic? oh yeah Medic Heal me lets chase the FemMedic"As the medic starts healing Anthony he rocket jumps cutting off Sonja while Ethan follows suit"


@Sonja

 

[Dawn2Dusk]

Sonja overheard the 'FemMedic" comment and raised her middle finger in the air as she sprinted away from the mercs. She didn't bother yelling an insult because she was occupied with running, flipping off terrorists, and clipping her Übersaw onto her belt.

 

[Furious Finch]

Anthony will be abruptly accosted by an immense man in heavy equipment and hefting a large minigun bursting out from a wall several stories up and landing with a mighty crash between Anthony and his target. With wooden splinters and board pieces raining down around him, he turns and looks up at Anthony. And then down at him, because he towers over the puny leetle Soldier.


With a crank of metal, his minigun begins to spin up.

 

[VirtualUnity]

(Pyrecter)Pyrecter sees that his two 2nd in commands can't catch up to the Medic and decides to go for the Main objective he hides behind a corner waiting for the right timing as Sonja is turning the corner He Swings his Powerjack towards her head knocking her out as the other two catch up Pyrecter says"You guys are kinda incompetant you know take her to the truck and tie her we don't want her escaping now do we"The 2 carry her to the truck where they guard her while the medic is tieing her up"


@Dawn2Dusk

 

[Furious Finch]

(That... seems a bit cheap.)

 

[VirtualUnity]

(it is the oWn right)

 

[DarkLordFTW]

(I just might be able to make it not cheap, just maybe.) "Sonja, no!" Bonk shouted as he sprinted towards her and the truck, and as he did he shouted to the heavy. "Hey, Metal-head! I saw you firing on the soldier and them, how about you rev up Natasha or Baby or whatever and cover me!" Bonk pulled out his scatter and jumped onto the top of the truck that Sonja was in. "Hey, PTSD-in-uniform, Jackie-girl and Mr. Meds, up here!" Bonk jumped down and shot Pyrecter IN THE FACE (I love that guy so much.) and knocked Ethan unconscious with his Atomizer, letting out an occasional "BONK!" and turned to Anthony. "Just you and me now, Mr. Maggot."

 

[Furious Finch]

(Still cheap. I feel like I'm at a used car shop.)

 

[VirtualUnity]

(Anthony Christian)Hehehehe Finally my turn to fight the traitorous coward"Anthony unsheathed his Half-Zatoichis and starts dueling bonk while the medic starts to heal Pyrecter and Ethan still trying to gain consciousness and the oWn heavy still trying to kill the other heavy"





@DarkLordFTW @Furious Finch

 

[Dawn2Dusk]

Sonja regained consciousness about ten minutes after she had been tied up. And she wasn't bawling, surprisingly. She was grinning like a maniac. Why? Well, our friends at O.W.N had completely horrible rope tying skills, and were kind enough to let Sonja keep her weapons. Charming. So, basically, Sonja writhed her hands out from the ropes and used her Übersaw to cut the ropes off of her ankles. Just as she was readying a dramatic exit that involved sawing off one guard's neck and body slamming the other before sawing off their neck when she noticed that nobody was guarding her. She peeked out from the truck's dirty and slightly damp interior to see... Well, a battle.


A very retarded battle. But, despite the fact that it was a life or death situation, Sonja just had to call out a pun.


A very retarded pun. "HEY, O.W.N GUYS! YOUR ROPE TYING SKILLS ARE... TERROR-ABLE! GET IT? BECAUSE YOU'RE TERRORISTS!" Sonja was laughing like a maniac. I think that she might have had a concussion. Again. Thanks, Bonk.

 

[VirtualUnity]

(Pyrecter)She's getting away! WIP gotta go to school

 

[DarkLordFTW]

(Darn, sorry for not being able to make it not-so-cheap for ya bud.) "Sonja, first of all, never make a pun ever again in your life as long as you live, and secondly, GET THAT OTHER MEDIC!" Bonk kicked Christian in the gut and ran to the truck O.W.N pulled up in and started hotwiring the vehicle.

 

[Dawn2Dusk]

"Eh? Oh yeah, asshole guy! I'm gonna... Well, statistically, nine out of ten injections are in VEIN," Sonja paused to laugh like an idiot, "But this one is going to put you onto thin EYES!" Sonja was practically passing out from laughter when she went silent and pulled out her Blutsauger, firing it into both the Medic's eyes. "Now, now, friend, I've done that way too many times for it to unexpected. Tsk, tsk. And, Bonk, while I am gonna kill this f**ker, first I would like to apologise for that last pun. It was pretty... CORNEA." Sonja was holding in giggles as she made her way over to the other Medic and slashed his neck, just deep enough to kill him.

 

[VirtualUnity]

"As the two escape Sonja kills their medic Pyrecter tells them to stand down they argue with Pyrecter"(Ethan North)Why did you let them get away!"Anthony agreeing with Ethan"We didn't let them get away don't you remember that all our vehicles have trackers in them so we can track them down if it's stolen"Oh I kinda forgot about that"Anthony was just standing there looking mad due to him not killing anyone, Pyrecter told them it's time to head back to base"


@Dawn2Dusk


@DarkLordFTW

 

[Furious Finch]

(That was a clusterfuck of activity. I wasn't able to keep up.)

 

[DarkLordFTW]

(It all happened so fast!) "Alright, Sonja, I know you are probably not sane right now, but I want you to take the wheel." And with that, Bonk literally handed Sonja the wheel and set to work looking around for the tracker that had been put somewhere. "Now where would it be?" After some minutes, he looked in the glove compartment and, of course, there was in big bold letters, DO NOT REMOVE THIS COMPLETELY INCONSPICUOUS BEEPING BOX. Bonk removed the completely inconspicuous beeping box, and hit it with his bat. "Try and follow us now, S.I.B."(Stalkers in Black, of course.)

 

[Dawn2Dusk]

"I bet my job is... WHEELY important!" Sonja wheezed out, completely enthralled by her own terrible puns. "Speaking of sanity, I'm PERFECTLY SANE! In fact, I'm SANE-SATIONAL! Ha! My head hurts..." Sonja mumbled the last part, dropping the wheel on the chair and practically frontflipping into the search for a medkit of some sorts. "HEY, BONK, THERE'S A PUPPY IN HERE! IMA NAME IT WARREN!" And with that Sonja pulled out a random puppy from a random compartment of the car.


Upon closer inspection, the dog is a bomb.


((I'm trash ))

 

[Furious Finch]

(And I'm done. I've had enough of this nonsense and idiocy.)

 

[DarkLordFTW]

(No, you had some of the best freaking posts!) "Sonja, I swear. I will bonk you so hard that you WILL see stars!" Bonk reinstalled the wheel and started driving before they crashed into a tree. "Now then, Sonja, what were you here for and where do we go so you can finish what you came here for."