Fandom Red Vs Blu: The Very Retarded Battle. (TF2 Roleplay.)

[Dawn2Dusk]

((All I have to say is that this IS supposed to be a silly roleplay. If you're going to be that rude, you won't be missed.))


"I dunno... I also don't know why there is a dog in an O.W.N vehicile. But I do know that his little face is the cutest thing on the planet!" Sonja grinned, still suffering trauma from her head injury.

 

[DarkLordFTW]

"Well, I'll find a place for us to rest and to get you fixed up, I hope you'll remember why you came here, cause we kinda left Evie, Shay and them back at the base" Bonk said, looking for a place to park, eventually he settled on a pizza place slash gas station and parked there.

 

[Slim Intoxicado]

[CONDEMNED Has joined the game.]


[CONDEMNED Has joined the RED Team]


Conn appeared out of nowhere in...... A pizza place? Wasn't this supposed to be a battle ground? He shook his head and slung his rifle over his shoulder, walking over to the other obvious REDs.

 

[DarkLordFTW]

"Alright, Sonja, I got ya a slice of cheese pizza, some cigs, bandages, and what might be medicine or meth." Bonk said, coming back into the truck they stole.

 

[Kalashnikova Squid]

A BLU sentry gun (a Level 1 to be specific) floated down out of the sky on a large, spreading parachute. It happened, from the wind drifts, that the machine was coming down directly on top of a mass of RED.

 

[DarkLordFTW]

"Well, that's new." Bonk said, taking a sip from his drink that he got for himself as the sentry floated down somewhere. (Also, if I made a mistake or offended someone in anyway in my last post about the European term for cigarettes that caused it to be changed, then I apologize and I will try and figure out what the actual term is.)

 

[VirtualUnity]

[secret Bunker]


"Nathan decides to call bonk over the comm link asking"Where are you and where is Sonja is she safe I heard that the o.W.n. raided Heatsink"


@Dawn2Dusk @DarkLordFTW

 

[Dawn2Dusk]

((I have no clue what the "correct" term for cigarette is in Europe. I doubt you're offending anyone.))


"What's new?" Sonja asked, attempting to bandage her head and eat pizza at the same time with a dog also trying to eat the pizza. "And when are we going back to the bunker? For a rich terrorist organisation, O.W.N has really uncomfortable car seats."

 

[Ferociousfeind]

(hahahah, I forgot to do things)


"BEEP BOOP CLUNK" A blue dispenser grew metal legs, and started wandering the map.

 

[DarkLordFTW]

(Strange, then who changed my post from "Or if you're in Europe, I'm uncultured" to "Or if you're in Europe, I'm uncultured"? Weird.) "Well, I dunno, but why did you come here, or have you forgotten and just wanna head back to the base." Bonk said, thinking about what might be happening back at the base.

 

[DarkLordFTW]

(But the RP, refused. @RedRider Also, I've decided that I will make a new character, a medic. Most likely Blu.)

 

[Ferociousfeind]

The blue dispenser wandered up the map border, reaching the skybox. It then had a few seconds of fun being a massive being of destruction, before remembering its role as a simple closet turned sentient. "Beep bwooow. Clunk plonk bweewow." The dispenser slunked down back onto physical reality, and spotted a car driving by. It hurriedly chased the car, labeled O.W.N. "BWOWOOOWEWOW. BEEP DUBOP CLUNK"

 

[Dawn2Dusk]

((hahahaaha im sorry i suck i completely forgot about charlotte and other less important and less insane characters. Also, swear on me mom that the dog is a plot device. Also I never edit posts, though I did to correct grammar back when I let spelling mistakes annoy me, so I have no idea.)) "Base please. Also, my face is melting, turn the damn aircon on." Sonja huffed, before practically inhaling the probable meth. "The good news is... I'm fairly certain it's not drugs. Well, it is drugs, but I don't think it's meth. I really want to eat some cake right now... I'm gonna climb onto to the roof and see if there's cake on the roof, ok?" Sonja didn't wait for a response, and just opened the window and almost literally backflipped onto the roof. "NO CAKE, BUT I THINK THAT THAT STUFF WAS METH. HEY LOOK, A DISPENSER! My head hurts..." Sonja rambled, waving to the dispenser for no apparent reason while clinging onto the roof for dear life.

 

[DarkLordFTW]

Bonk Looked out the window at the dispenser and his jaw dropped. "That's one of Connor's dispenser's, why is it here?" Bonk wondered out loud. "You know, I heard he had one of those with some big switch on its back. Connor has gotten very imaginative lately, hasn't he? Oh well. Hey! Mr. Walking Supply Closet, you wanna ride?" Bonk asked the robot.

 

[Ferociousfeind]

"Bwoop bweewoo! Dooboop!" The dispenser played snippets of dubstep as a response. Its metal legs started creaking under the pressure of it jumping up and down. Its contents spilled out, refilling everyone's health and ammunition.

 

[DarkLordFTW]

"Well, I am very confused right now, but sense you haven't killed us yet, I'll bring ya aboard, buddy." And with that, Bonk opened the back doors of the O.W.N truck and said, "Okay, bud, get in!"

 

[Dawn2Dusk]

"Thank you, dispenser guy! You know what? Your new name is Spencer. Spencer the dispenser. See, my puns aren't unbearable when my head isn't throbbing because of a terrorist group, whatever they did. By the way, I'm staying up here because I'm too lazy to move." And with her final sentence, Sonja fell into the passenger seat of the truck because physics. "Pay no mind to the fact I literally just fell through the window and upright in this seat. Think of it as karma for healing you bozos..." She stated blankly.

 

[Ferociousfeind]

"Speeencer..." The dispenser said in a robotic voice, "I like it!" The dispenser hopped into the truck, excited for whatever adventures ensued.

 

[DarkLordFTW]

"O... K then. TO THE BASE!" Scout floored it and nearly drove the truck off a cliff before getting back in control, he never got his driver's license, but he had drove a 4-wheeler and decided that the truck was just a big 4-wheeler. Yeah, a really big, bulky 4-wheeler.


It wasn't. But he was able to learn that he should stay on the road, and soon he was driving like a sub-par driving student who had no regard for safety or laws whatsoever. They were on their way home now. Or whatever the bunker is the equivalent to.

 

[Dawn2Dusk]

"Uh, just saying, but I have two licenses, one for medical practice, the second for driving. I think I'm going to throw up if this continues..." Sonja growled irritably, clutching the sides of the car seat in a vain attempt to reduce her motion sickness from Bonk's reckless driving. The drive was silent aside from occasional barking. That was five minutes in. Ten minutes in, the dog somehow grabbed Sonja's phone, plugged it into the stereo with a nearby cord, and played some dubstep music. Twenty minutes in, Sonja was complaining about how everyone is apparently a total d**k to medics. Twenty five minutes in, she was complaining about how Charlotte used to steal her chocolate when they were younger. She then complained about how Charlotte once claimed she was attacked by a purple shirted eye-stabber and how he apparently was murdered by a group of anthropomorphic animal robots and how she claimed after that she travelled through dimensions to escape said purple shirted eye-stabber whom had taken the form of a demonic rabbit by merging with his son. "And to top off the pile of absolute bulls**t she then said that we are all characters created by people on the internet to create a story made by seperate people. I gave her a Band-Aid and a lollipop and told her to stop trying to interrupt my medical procedures on my teddy bear Lucibelle, who thanks to her, died for a couple of minutes until I got my mother to sew up her "cut". Oh, and she drew the CREEPIEST S**T EVER. WE WERE EIGHT AND SHE HAD DRAWN A FRICKIN CORPSE SURROUNDED BY SMILING FACES. I don't even think she had developed schizophrenia yet..." Sonja rambled on like this until she eventually stopped to comtemplate her social life and then sleep.

 

[DarkLordFTW]

"Ugh, finally, the medic with a mouth shut up." Bonk muttered. Char always was a bit strange, wasn't she? But that story intrigued him, so he decided to hear it from Char herself. IF he ever got a chance to. Then Bonk realized there was man out in the road, a man who wasn't paying attention to the truck speeding towards him, because he was too busy trying to get said truck's attention.


Ubel danced around in the road, shooting off flares and the like. He had been out in the road all day trying to get someone's attention. Just before he was run over, he looked up and dashed to the side, screaming,"Achtung! Nien! Schlet!"


"Oh boy, another one." Bonk said.

 

[Dawn2Dusk]

((Definitely the best character introduction there is here. Ubel is my new favourite medic. *kicks Sonja into the sun* Also I JUST caught the Mettaton reference in one of your last posts. That's it, I'm drawing the main characters of Undertale as the classes of TF2. You caN'T STOP ME.))


A klunk could be heard on the roof of the car. "HI GUYS!" A slightly muffled, shrill voice yelled soon after, followed by a certain logic-bending Pyro dropping onto the hood of the car. "I just found a break in the space time continuum, and it lead me here! Ralph was a total meanie about it, though. He hates interdimensional travel. Oh, and Sonja forgot this in her... Doctor place." She held out a small cat-shaped USB with "IMPORTANT" scrawled on it. "I dunno what it is, but I DO know that the BLU base is super duper scary with those spooOOOOooky black monsters around. They hurt a bunch of unicorns and pegasi, and even some kittens! KITTENS, PEOPLE! Can I come in? 'Cause that guy looks suspicious...ly LIKE HE COULD OCCASIONALLY BREAK THE FOURTH WALL LIKE ME! HEY! MR PERSON! DO YOU BREAK THE LAWS OF TIME AND SPACE LIKE ME?! IF SO, WE COULD TOTALLY BE FRIENDS!" Charlotte yelled out, waving her arms around frantically.

 

[DarkLordFTW]

"OH MY GOSH WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE? Ah, well. If you're here to help me, thank you. But I spy with mein little eye, two RED members, but considering I am not on fire right now, and the fact that there is a BLU scout here that looks slightly familiar, means that they don't want to do the hurting but they might like some of the healing." The Ubel made his way towards the truck in probably the most uncomfortable way ever, for anyone who was watching. For him it was normal. "So who here has a broken larynx/ribcage? Because I can't fix that. Ribs don't grow back, nor do voice boxes." He said. "Ah, you must all be wondering wer ich bin. (Who I am) Ich bin Ubel Wolfgang, und dies ist mein Kritzkrieg. Und seine besser als deine."(I am Ubel Wolfgang, and this is my Kritzkrieg. And its better than yours.) he said, looking over at Sonja's medigun.


Bonk sat there in the driver's seat just kinda processing what all just happened, what with Char coming through a rip in space time and Ubel almost getting run over and already looking like he was going to seduce someone with the Kritzkrieg. @RedRider @Kalashnikova Squid

 

[Garbacca]

Dean Harper was relaxing in the BLU base, occasionally taking swings from the bottle of Budweiser that was a part of his Rancho Relaxo 5000. His Mini Sentry Gun beeped at regular intervals as it turned left and right, on the lookout for any REDs, and his Pomson sat on his lap, pointed towards the only door in the room. He peered out the window, wondering when the others would get back.

 

[DarkLordFTW]

[secret Bunker]
"Nathan decides to call bonk over the comm link asking"Where are you and where is Sonja is she safe I heard that the o.W.n. raided Heatsink"


@Dawn2Dusk @DarkLordFTW

(I just read that post, I'm an idiot.) Bonk, snapping out of his stupor, realized that Nathan was talking to him on the comm. "Oh! Hey there Mr. Mumbles! Yeah, Heatsink was raided by O.W.N, and some weird robo-heavy that vanished, because it was a bit unhappy with the way things were going during the fight. But we are heading back to base, how have things been going for you guys? Oh yeah, Sonja is coming back with me, along with another guy and a dispenser on legs.


Ubel looked at Sonja and the dispencer, and asked, "So, who are you two? Tell me about yourselves." @VirtualNotoriety @Dawn2Dusk @ferociousfeind (Plus, Garbacca, are you at the Blu base from the beginning? Or at the base where Nathan and, soon, the rest of the gang will be?)