Fandom Red Vs Blu: The Very Retarded Battle. (TF2 Roleplay.)

[DarkLordFTW]

"Hey now, you know most of our bases are mirror opposites right Doc?" Scout said. He then noticed a sniper recording her breakdown, with another on the other team doing the same. "Also, you steal our intel as often as us, no need to cry about it. And another thing, even I can tell your lying about the syringe Doc, its obvious. Why? Cuz its already been made, remember the robots? One last thing, this is being taped." Scout said, motioning to the snipers, who now feared for their lives.

 

[VirtualUnity]

"Hey now, you know most of our bases are mirror opposites right Doc?" Scout said. He then noticed a sniper recording her breakdown, with another on the other team doing the same. "Also, you steal our intel as often as us, no need to cry about it. And another thing, even I can tell your lying about the syringe Doc, its obvious. Why? Cuz its already been made, remember the robots? One last thing, this is being taped." Scout said, motioning to the snipers, who know feared for their lives.

*Pyro over hearing this asked scout what do you mean by being recorded

 

[Dawn2Dusk]

Sonja realised her mistake. "Well, um, the, um, medicine was... F**k. I, err... HEY YOU LITTLE S**TBAGS, TURN THOSE CAMERAS OFF OR THE NEXT TIME YOU'RE IN SURGERY YOU MIGHT JUST FIND YOUR LUNGS HAVE BEEN REMOVED! And, sure, we steal your intel but what's in the syringe has been modified to such an extent that I... It just... It's so classified the administrator is the only person aside from me that knows about it, nobody else, I-I didn't know that she added it in the briefcase! If your team's Medic, or someone else in your team that has an IQ that exceeds 'Toothbrush' finds the notes attached... I just... I can't. I'm sorry for breaking down, anxiety is a bitch. Coffee can wait, first comes getting rid of the immense niagra falls of supposedly waterproof mascara dripping down my face, and then comes tearing those snipers apart limb from limb."

 

[VirtualUnity]

Ok let's wash your face and then lets maim those snipers will that make you happy?

 

[DarkLordFTW]

"Okay, I'll get the Red one." Said Bonk as he went up slowly to the Red sniper, smiled down onto the sniper's terrified face, then blasted his face off, plus the camera.

 

[Dawn2Dusk]

After going through two bottles of makeup remover and a tedious application of more makeup, Sonja burst out of the base and searched for the BLU sniper. Eventually, she found him behind a rock, snickering at the video and probably about to post it online. "Hey, bozo, fixed my makeup, am I a pretty princess or what?" She smirked. He looked up at her with a look on his face that read "HOLY MOTHERF**KING S**T" as she pulled out her Übersaw and slashed his throat. She then took his camera and deleted the video, leaving a picture of a middle finger she drew in the dirt instead. "Haha, hope he likes bird-watching."

 

[VirtualUnity]

There feel better now?

 

[FadeAway]

(( Wow I haven't been getting any notifs >.< Is it still too late to revive my OC's?))

 

[DarkLordFTW]

(( Wow I haven't been getting any notifs >.< Is it still too late to revive my OC's?))

(I doubt it. Just knowing that should fill you with determination.)

 

[Dawn2Dusk]

((OCC: Yes, my pretties! Scatter the Undertale references! And, no, it's not too late, whatsoever.))

 

[FadeAway]

(( Yay I'm so pumped, I feel like playing ))


"More people have come to join the fun," Ghost muttered in the BLU spawn area as Evie and Shay came back to life.


Shay sighed as he scratched the back of his neck in disapproval, "Well we can't just let them take our intel now can we? Soldier seems to be slacking off as well. How uncharacteristic of him. Well, gonna build my sentry now, I'm pretty sure they're busy hunting down the other snipers in our team...Which reminds me..." both Ghost and Shay turned their heads to look at Evie who had been seething the entire time.


The only female sniper on their team was still bitter that she was autobalanced to BLU but she couldn't do anything about it so she grabbed her Australium rifle and placed the razorback on her back and equipped her mildly menacing Tribalman's Shiv. She ran out of the spawn and into her favorite camping spot.


"We'll show those REDs who they're messing with..." she clicked her tongue.

 

[DarkLordFTW]

(They shall become the new references! NYEH HEH HEH!) "So, Sonja, I never heard what that needle does. Tell me now, or else you're gonna have a bad time." Said Bonk, pulling out his scatter, at this range it would be a fatal shot. "Just like Frank did."

 

[Dawn2Dusk]

"I, um, well you see, it's a complicated math formula, and can't be easily explained without doing important sums on the spot, but in reality- Um... It is... Well, I guess I can't bulls**t my way out of this one. But, uh... You do know I can just respawn on the spot, right? Haha! But seriously, bullet boy, it needs to be tested to know the effects, thankfully I have a few spare, now where did I put them? Oh yeah! IN MY SYRINGE GUN!" Sonja yelled, mowing Bonk down with her Blutsauger, hopefully killing him.


Charlotte was derping around. Bonk left her and a spy took her dolls just to mess with her. So she sat there, cross-legged, waiting patiently for Bonk to return, seeing as her team hated her due to the fact she was insane and childish. Also, her hobbies were poking sentries, screaming yay whilst poking people, playing crappy bootleg Pokémon games, and breaking the fourth wall. None of which were strategic or even mildly intelligent. So, still she sat, probably drooling retardedly, waiting for anyone at this point to pass her. Then she flopped to the floor and started pretending her hands were vampires trying to suck the blood of unicorns. Needless to say, Charlotte had weird childhood. Robots, bazookas and something about Koolaid. ((OCC: > I strike back, DarkLordFTW!))

 

[DarkLordFTW]

"OW!" Bonk said, dodging the syringes. "Look Doc, first of all, you can still feel pain, lots of pain, and secondly, we are in the process of breaking your freakin' respawn! Didn't you notice the respawn hurt the last time you died?!" Bonk hit the Blutsauger out of Sonja's hands and blasts off her arm, and gets a pyro to cauterize the wound. "GEEEEETTTT DUNKED ONNN! NOW! Tell me!"

 

[Dawn2Dusk]

"SON OF A B***H!" Sonja screeched in pain, knocked over from the impact. "Okay," She huffed, "It did hurt to respawn, but I assumed it was a glitch in the system. And, you're breaking our respawn?! D**k move, that's against the war's very few rules, you motherf**king asslicking... Ok. Fine. No bulls**t. No lies. The purple syringe is an amplifier. Like an Übercharge, only much more powerful. There. I said it. It can be modified to do fit any needs, amplifying existing Übercharge, increasing the effects of jarate, increasing afterburn, you name it, but unfortunately contains peanut oil so those allergic to peanuts can't use it. Happy? I'm going to find another Medic, because that'll happen. D**kweed's probably healing a Heavy or something. Done. Now do you mind NOT breaking our respawn, assclown?"

 

[VirtualUnity]

Umm.. Sonja you ok? And did you say a purple syringe that enhances most effects hmm... /That might be good for those pesky spies./


Oh bonk well fancy meeting you here but bye! *as he burns his ass with his backburner and uses him like a baseball with the powerjack. ((Must help my red comrades))

 

[DarkLordFTW]

"OW! Interesting! Also, could you not burn me, mumbles? Anyways, I'm off! Thanks for the info, oh yeah, and that whole thing about breaking the respawn, that was all a lie, one time a heavy shot at it by mistake, he accidentally did the same to our respawn, and that's why it hurts to respawn, and that's also why that heavy is permanently dead." Bonk yelled, running off, trying to find a health pack, and a spy to relay this to. After telling the spy about the syringe, he went to find Charlotte.

 

[FadeAway]

Evie wondered why none of the REDs were outside of their base.


Is it cease fire? Was I gone for that long?


She tilted her head to the thought as she cautiously evacuated her spot and approached the opposing base with her mildly menacing tribalman's shiv on hand and her strange vintage jarate hanging by the edge of her razorback.


"Helooo?? Is it cease fire??? Did Admin announce break time???" she sang out loud in her strong Australian accent by the entrance of RED's base.


Shay had put up a remote controlled level 2 sentry behind her just in case.

 

[Dawn2Dusk]

"Oh, for f**k's sake, REALLY? You asshole! Ugh." Sonja grumbled, going into her medical ward to lock up the syringe and it's different formulas in the most secret place she could think of. Originally, she was going to get Charlotte to burn the syringe and such, but Charlotte was an idiot sometimes, probably from mental scarring during her childhood. Actually, Sonja had voluntarily diagnosed Charlotte, and she had schizophrenia. Horrible schizophrenia, so horrible she literally couldn't see anything real. Sad, but helpful for the RED team. She then heard Evie yell, to which she replied "I think we can call it an unofficial break."


Charlotte was just beginning to pretend to be a shark when ahe saw Bonk. "Hi Bonkie! When do we get to look at the RED stories! I wanna learn stuff!" She asked. "Also, a mean spy took my dollies! I think he was the one who sent me through respawn! He was mean and now is meaner!" she then yelled unhappily, clearly annoyed by this spy.

 

[VirtualUnity]

Nathan hearing Evie's question he answered I don't really know

 

[DarkLordFTW]

"Oh hey Char! I was just looking for you! I don't have any stories right now, but I did find some dolls on the ground, are they yours? Bonk said, handing the dolls to Charlotte.

 

[VirtualUnity]

Oh hey bonk sorry for flamming your ass a while ago you know just protecting my team and also are we at a cease fire cause no ones really attacking or capping

 

[DarkLordFTW]

"Hey."

 

[Dawn2Dusk]

Charlotte squealed in delight as she saw the dolls were hers. "Yay! Thank you so much!" she giggled. She then sat down with her dolls, mumbling something about spycrabs into the dolls ears, before shooting up and asking, "What can I do to repay you for saving my friends from Doctor SpyCrab?"

SCHIZOVIEW TIME

​

Oh my gosh! Bonkie had rescued Emeralda and Skylar from the evil clutches of Doctor SpyCrab! I was so happy, I could just squeal! So I did! Doctor SpyCrab was not like the lady in the white coat that I healed, he wasn't a doctor, he was just evil! After thanking Bonkie, I sat cross legged and started to tell the girls my battle plan, but first I needed to repay Bonkie 'cause he was so nice! But then Ralph ESCAPED from the spooky brain cage and told me that he just found them on the ground! So I shoved him into an even SPOOOOKIER brain cage and continued on. "What can I do to repay you for saving my friends from Doctor SpyCrab?" I asked him.

 

[VirtualUnity]

Nathan equips his CQC loadout Degreaser Reserved Shooter Back Scracher