Fandom (Glitch Techs Xpanded Universe) GTX: Gnu Fork

[Gadg8eer]

(Nope, won't happen. The absolutely unavoidable stuff is done now. Captain Wyldstorm We should take this opportunity and do our scene for a while so we're caught up with the flow of the rest of the plot.)

Meanwhile, a little while ago...

Hum stumbled a little as he made his landing on one of the rail cars on the other line, and watched the train slow to its unusual, pixelated stop.

"Well, so much for my shining moment," he grumbled, dusting off his windbreaker. He patted the pocket containing the HCP he had been about to use when Elextrixtr had started fiddling with the controls. "Don't worry, you'll get your chance."

He climbed over the guard rail on the side of the rail car in question and looked in Elextrixtr's direction as he started to climb down to the ground. "I'm gonna go find Pentifer before he gets himself into trouble. You coming? The sooner this situation is wrapped up, the sooner I can get home and get some sleep."

With that, he jumped down and started hurrying back along the tracks, muttering something about contractors not getting paid overtime.

"Well, why wouldn't I come along?!" Elextrixtr sassily remarked, getting ready to run as fast and far as she could.

Far ahead of the track, they saw a clearly disoriented figure- Pentifer. Jeez, that sudden launch must've taken a lot out of him.

With him was DPortEd and iQ. "We let him know the whole story, he's definitely as smart as Bolypius, just not a liability like him. I'm supposed to tell Hinobi but lets just say our email server has been 'acting up' lately and pretend he's human. Poor guy just realized he's been real and self-aware for less than 24 hours, talk about an existential quandry." DPortEd explained.

"Um, there's... one other thing. If we're going to hide him, we need to do it with resources already at our disposal or we might get caught." iQ explained. "We, um... We registered him as a tech to hide his PLixel signature from the Hinobi Glitch Positioning System, but we had to bypass the tutorial requirement because the training holodeck won't register him as human unless he's already an official Tech. He has no experience but... um, his game is all about catching and reaping the souls of the wicked, so... Can you guys train him?" he asked Elextrixtr and HardModeWarez.

"If you need to get him into the field to do it, the bylaw officer says there's something fishy going on at the new arcade on 3rd." DPortEd added.

"On 3rd what?" Hum responded.

"3rd Street? The place called 'Arcade Land' or something?" DPortEd tried to explain. "Okay, I don't know what he's talking about either but he says an arcade just opened up on 3rd Street and I checked the radar before we left but all this took longer than I expected- Never mind. The point is, there's a hotspot of Glitch activity coming from 7537 3rd Street and everyone except you three has been up all night working overtime."

 

[Sir loin of beef]

(( MisterEightySix Lady Moldoma Sir loin of beef Captain Wyldstorm Okay, we're unpaused! I'll type something right away for 86 and wendigo specifically. Stay tuned. Remember the new pacing rule is now in effect; this means the latest post you respond to must have a higher "version number" in its' threadmark than your last response as that character. Currently, that means MisterEightySix must have HardModeWarez/Hum respond to a post of at least 3.6.10, hauntedbythewendigo must have Elextrixtr and Pentifer respond to a post of at least 3.6.11, Sir Loin must have the Council or Spike and Bulldog respond to a post of 3.6.16, Lord Moldoma must have Alice/ZoeIRL respond to a post of 3.6.15 or higher - or have Bolypius respond to a post of 3.6.17 or higher - next, and finally I cannot post as in-universe Gadg8eer unless the response is to a post of 3.3.19 or higher (but will likely be asleep all night so expect him to not show up for a while).

Also, for the sake of continued potential for separation, PLEASE keep a response by one character separate from any characters who are not currently present in SEPARATE posts so that I am able to sort by plotline. I worked around it with all the previous posts, but from now on keep lengthy OOC to the OOC thread and only put a single short post with "(( double brackets ))" format in the IC thread if you need to do so, and keep characters in different groups in separate posts. ))

((where were we In the Spike and Bulldog Plot?))

 

[Gadg8eer]

((where were we In the Spike and Bulldog Plot?))

(( We kind of weren't. The flashback was just to introduce them and then I realized anything beyond that couldn't have happened before Zoe first met my character in the second post ever of the RP. BUT! They can tag along with the other three while I come up with something for Zoe and in-verse Gadge. It would be a good way to flesh them out beyond "those two guys"/"gamers on a couch webcomic protagonists". Eliza and Erwin too, I have some inklings of ideas to develop. ))

 

[Sir loin of beef]

(( We kind of weren't. The flashback was just to introduce them and then I realized anything beyond that couldn't have happened before Zoe first met my character in the second post ever of the RP. BUT! They can tag along with the other three while I come up with something for Zoe and in-verse Gadge. It would be a good way to flesh them out beyond "those two guys"/"gamers on a couch webcomic protagonists". Eliza and Erwin too, I have some inklings of ideas to develop. ))

((Sweet!))

 

[MisterEightySix]

With him was DPortEd and iQ. "We let him know the whole story, he's definitely as smart as Bolypius, just not a liability like him. I'm supposed to tell Hinobi but lets just say our email server has been 'acting up' lately and pretend he's human. Poor guy just realized he's been real and self-aware for less than 24 hours, talk about an existential quandry." DPortEd explained.

"Um, there's... one other thing. If we're going to hide him, we need to do it with resources already at our disposal or we might get caught." iQ explained. "We, um... We registered him as a tech to hide his PLixel signature from the Hinobi Glitch Positioning System, but we had to bypass the tutorial requirement because the training holodeck won't register him as human unless he's already an official Tech. He has no experience but... um, his game is all about catching and reaping the souls of the wicked, so... Can you guys train him?" he asked Elextrixtr and HardModeWarez.

"If you need to get him into the field to do it, the bylaw officer says there's something fishy going on at the new arcade on 3rd." DPortEd added.

"On 3rd what?" Hum responded.

"3rd Street? The place called 'Arcade Land' or something?" DPortEd tried to explain. "Okay, I don't know what he's talking about either but he says an arcade just opened up on 3rd Street and I checked the radar before we left but all this took longer than I expected- Never mind. The point is, there's a hotspot of Glitch activity coming from 7537 3rd Street and everyone except you three has been up all night working overtime."

"Whoa, hold on a minute there. What do you mean, 'except us three'? Don't look me in the eyes and tell me I haven't been putting in overtime, it's the middle of the night," Hum interjected.

"That's for head office to decide, not me," DPortEd said back, "since you went into business for yourself and all. So if you really want in on everything that's happening recently, then I suggest you get moving."

"Okay, fine. Sleep is for the weak anyway. At least we'll get to see what Pentifer is capable of, and I'll get to use... 'that'. Where's the van?"

 

[Captain Wyldstorm]

"Whoa, hold on a minute there. What do you mean, 'except us three'? Don't look me in the eyes and tell me I haven't been putting in overtime, it's the middle of the night," Hum interjected.

"That's for head office to decide, not me," DPortEd said back, "since you went into business for yourself and all. So if you really want in on everything that's happening recently, then I suggest you get moving."

"Okay, fine. Sleep is for the weak anyway. At least we'll get to see what Pentifer is capable of, and I'll get to use... 'that'. Where's the van?"

"Sure, I'll teach the red shape-like being who I'm pretty sure has managed to develop feelings for me within the first two seconds of seeing me." Ele responded to DPortEd, slightly chuckling. She felt something suddenly collide with her and hit the ground before looking down and seeing... ah, there he was.
Pentifer, who had now collided with Elextrixtr, found himself staring up at Elextrixtr with wide eyes.
"...Damn my clumsiness..." he muttered, slightly blushing.
"You good, little buddy?" Elextrixtr asked softly, holding a hand out to help Pentifer up.
(I'm sorry I support the idea of Pentrixtr ship existing)

 

[Gadg8eer]

"Whoa, hold on a minute there. What do you mean, 'except us three'? Don't look me in the eyes and tell me I haven't been putting in overtime, it's the middle of the night," Hum interjected.

"That's for head office to decide, not me," DPortEd said back, "since you went into business for yourself and all. So if you really want in on everything that's happening recently, then I suggest you get moving."

"Okay, fine. Sleep is for the weak anyway. At least we'll get to see what Pentifer is capable of, and I'll get to use... 'that'. Where's the van?"

HardModeWarez, or "Hum" as most people called him, raised a hand in greeting as the van came to a stop.

"Evenin', Dave," Hum said cheerfully, opening the door and leaning half of his body out of the vehicle.
"Hum. Still keeping yourself busy, I see," Ed replied, a twinge of hosility behind his cordial tone. "How'd you get in iQ's van?"
"Dave, please, I know how to turn off the auto-roam, I'm not a TOTAL greenhorn with the software."

Hum hopped out, adjusted the blue windbreaker he was wearing, and closed the door. The windbreaker was unzipped, revealing a black Flunky Quest t-shirt underneath, but other than that, and his apparent taste in high-top sneakers and cargo shorts, he wasn't all that impressive to look at. Still, if he was a Tech, that had to mean there was something Ed saw in him... probably.

"Sorry about that, Zeke. I swear I was gonna return it, I just got... distracted."
"For... two months?" iQ questioned.
"You know what they say, time flies like an eagle."
"Speaking of time, we don't HAVE much," Ed interrupted. "We're in the middle of dealing with a serious situation."
"Yeah, that's kind of why I'm here. How serious are we talking?" Hum inquired.
"...The big one."

Hum stood silent for a moment.

"He's here? Like, HERE here?"
"Look, just get back in the van, I'll explain on the way."
"If you insist."

Hum already had one hand on the door handle when Ed cleared his throat loudly.

"A-HEM. In the BACK."
"Right."

"You showed up in iQ's van!" DPortEd pointed out.

"...here." iQ said, nervously pointing out the Belough Goods Truck he used as a vehicle as it pulled into a nearby truck loading bay according to it's programming. Gadg8eer wasn't the only one with a penchant for OpenTTB, but iQ tended to play for massive maglev networks and optimization in vanilla, while the much newer tech was in it for roleplay purposes and thus used a LOT of mods. "I'll drop them off downtown."

"Sure, I'll teach the red shape-like being who I'm pretty sure has managed to develop feelings for me within the first two seconds of seeing me." Ele responded to DPortEd, slightly chuckling. She felt something suddenly collide with her and hit the ground before looking down and seeing... ah, there he was.
Pentifer, who had now collided with Elextrixtr, found himself staring up at Elextrixtr with wide eyes.
"...Damn my clumsiness..." he muttered, slightly blushing.
"You good, little buddy?" Elextrixtr asked softly, holding a hand out to help Pentifer up.
(I'm sorry I support the idea of Pentrixtr ship existing)

"It's been 10 minutes and you're already going full fangirl? Okay." DPortEd shrugged, teasing the new couple. "Alright, I've got to get home. My wife expects me to stop by for supper and I still have to walk back to my truck. Skipper, what time is it?"

"It is currently Thursday, the 29th of June, 2028 at 364 Winks. Local time is ERROR: time.hinobi-k9000.corp did not respond Pacific Standard Time." the robot dog stated.

"Skipper, did you crap the database again? God damn it." Eddy responded, facepalming.

"It is currently ERROR: date.hinobi-k9000.corp did not respond at 364 ERROR: Unrecognized unit "unit_beet". Local time is 1:44 AM Pacific Daylight Time."

"Want me to try and fix that?" Hum pointed out sarcastically, knowing Eddy was being tugged between his empathy and his obligations.

"No. Skipper, find my car."

Skipper turned away and opened her mouth, projecting a blue beam of PLixels that immediately formed a portal back to the van.

"Good girl." he said, and gave her a battery to snack on, and picking her up to step through the portal. It closed momentarily after.

"Wait, why couldn't he have just used that this whole time?" Hum pointed out, because if he had to teach the new guy he was going to be sure Pentifer really could think for himself.

"...no, portals have cooldowns... and range restrictions..." iQ pointed out as they all got into the Goods Truck, and then realized Hum knew that but wasn't getting paid to teach a Glitch Technician Glitch under Hinobi's nose. "Oh, go format yourself, Hum." he said, and opened a VidWindow to set the truck to head for Eddy's Storefront.

 

[Captain Wyldstorm]

"You showed up in iQ's van!" DPortEd pointed out.

"...here." iQ said, nervously pointing out the Belough Goods Truck he used as a vehicle as it pulled into a nearby truck loading bay according to it's programming. Gadg8eer wasn't the only one with a penchant for OpenTTB, but iQ tended to play for massive maglev networks and optimization in vanilla, while the much newer tech was in it for roleplay purposes and thus used a LOT of mods. "I'll drop them off downtown."



"It's been 10 minutes and you're already going full fangirl? Okay." DPortEd shrugged, teasing the new couple. "Alright, I've got to get home. My wife expects me to stop by for supper and I still have to walk back to my truck. Skipper, what time is it?"

"It is currently Thursday, the 29th of June, 2028 at 364 Winks. Local time is ERROR: time.hinobi-k9000.corp did not respond Pacific Standard Time." the robot dog stated.

"Skipper, did you crap the database again? God damn it." Eddy responded, facepalming.

"It is currently ERROR: date.hinobi-k9000.corp did not respond at 364 ERROR: Unrecognized unit "unit_beet". Local time is 1:44 AM Pacific Daylight Time."

"Want me to try and fix that?" Hum pointed out sarcastically, knowing Eddy was being tugged between his empathy and his obligations.

"No. Skipper, find my car."

Skipper turned away and opened her mouth, projecting a blue beam of PLixels that immediately formed a portal back to the van.

"Good girl." he said, and gave her a battery to snack on, and picking her up to step through the portal. It closed momentarily after.

"Wait, why couldn't he have just used that this whole time?" Hum pointed out, because if he had to teach the new guy he was going to be sure Pentifer really could think for himself.

"...no, portals have cooldowns... and range restrictions..." iQ pointed out as they all got into the Goods Truck, and then realized Hum knew that but wasn't getting paid to teach a Glitch Technician Glitch under Hinobi's nose. "Oh, go format yourself, Hum." he said, and opened a VidWindow to set the truck to head for Eddy's Storefront.

Within the first two seconds of getting in the van Pentifer had managed to eat through two bars of candy that Elextrixtr had retrieved from her satchel, and was wolfing down his third one. Elextrixtr just quietly watched.
"Save some for me, you hungry rascal!" She laughed at how messy Pentifer had managed to get through eating the candy.

 

[Gadg8eer]

"You showed up in iQ's van!" DPortEd pointed out.

"...here." iQ said, nervously pointing out the Belough Goods Truck he used as a vehicle as it pulled into a nearby truck loading bay according to it's programming. Gadg8eer wasn't the only one with a penchant for OpenTTB, but iQ tended to play for massive maglev networks and optimization in vanilla, while the much newer tech was in it for roleplay purposes and thus used a LOT of mods. "I'll drop them off downtown."



"It's been 10 minutes and you're already going full fangirl? Okay." DPortEd shrugged, teasing the new couple. "Alright, I've got to get home. My wife expects me to stop by for supper and I still have to walk back to my truck. Skipper, what time is it?"

"It is currently Thursday, the 29th of June, 2028 at 364 Winks. Local time is ERROR: time.hinobi-k9000.corp did not respond Pacific Standard Time." the robot dog stated.

"Skipper, did you crap the database again? God damn it." Eddy responded, facepalming.

"It is currently ERROR: date.hinobi-k9000.corp did not respond at 364 ERROR: Unrecognized unit "unit_beet". Local time is 1:44 AM Pacific Daylight Time."

"Want me to try and fix that?" Hum pointed out sarcastically, knowing Eddy was being tugged between his empathy and his obligations.

"No. Skipper, find my car."

Skipper turned away and opened her mouth, projecting a blue beam of PLixels that immediately formed a portal back to the van.

"Good girl." he said, and gave her a battery to snack on, and picking her up to step through the portal. It closed momentarily after.

"Wait, why couldn't he have just used that this whole time?" Hum pointed out, because if he had to teach the new guy he was going to be sure Pentifer really could think for himself.

"...no, portals have cooldowns... and range restrictions..." iQ pointed out as they all got into the Goods Truck, and then realized Hum knew that but wasn't getting paid to teach a Glitch Technician Glitch under Hinobi's nose. "Oh, go format yourself, Hum." he said, and opened a VidWindow to set the truck to head for Eddy's Storefront.

Within the first two seconds of getting in the van Pentifer had managed to eat through two bars of candy that Elextrixtr had retrieved from her satchel, and was wolfing down his third one. Elextrixtr just quietly watched.
"Save some for me, you hungry rascal!" She laughed at how messy Pentifer had managed to get through eating the candy.

The "Hinobi Blue"-colored Balough Goods Truck traveled about four blocks before iQ stopped the vehicle at the bridge repaired earlier by Tobi, Juan, Zoe and Gadg8eer. "Oh no..." iQ said, worried. "Tobi, come in Tobi. Do you read me?"

No response came.

"Why is Tobi's van still here?" iQ pointed out, motioning towards the modified Hinobi van with the pink "Hello Bunny" paint scheme parked nearby.

 

[Captain Wyldstorm]

Elextrixtr quietly watched Pentifer in slight amusement. She quietly engaged in the first conversation she could come up with- the topic on whether or not Pineapple belongs on pizza. Both agreed that it did not.

 

[MisterEightySix]

Elextrixtr quietly watched Pentifer in slight amusement. She quietly engaged in the first conversation she could come up with- the topic on whether or not Pineapple belongs on pizza. Both agreed that it did not.

"I'll third that," Hum said.

Pentifer's protector had stayed silent until then but gave a sound of agreement.

"...I like Hawaiian pizza," iQ grumbled, slightly melancholic about the presence of the anti-pineapple mafia. He motioned toward Pentifer and Elextrixtr. "Should we check if..."

"Yeah, we'll handle it."

Hum opened up the door as the truck came to a stop.

"Alright, there's a lot to unpack, but I'll try to give you the short version. This is the real world - well, we assume it is, anyway. As of right now, we don't have any moon colonies and we haven't met any aliens, so it's also the only world we have. Anything that threatens the Earth threatens humanity... including humanity itself. We... kind of made the climate crap the bed lately. It's a long story. But we're working on it."

He led the two towards the vehicle, explaining on the way.

"Unlike a game world, you only get one life here. The good news is, death rates have plummeted in the last hundred years or so - partly because of medical advances, and partly because of Game Mechanics." He paused, realizing suddenly just what he'd said. "Oh. Right. That's an acronym, by the way: Glitch-Altered Mesotechnological Entity. Basically, PLixel beings, like you. At least, that's what The Man calls them. We just call them glitches for short. Game Mechanics are people who get sent to contain dangerous GAMEs before they cause too much damage. That includes Glitch Techs like us. Though if you ask me, the name 'Glitch Tech' doesn't exactly roll off the tongue. I don't know what Hinobi was thinking.

"The point I was getting at," he continued, "is that the reason glitches manifest is because of the way mesotech like PLixels work. There's a lot of technical voodoo involved, but at its core, a mesomachine is a machine that operates at multiple different scales, like the cells that make up a human body." He took an HCP out of one of his many pockets and held it between his fingers. "And when an HCP, like this one here, starts sending the wrong instructions to them, they start doing... unusual things. But glitches almost never compile themselves from regular computer programming, because game code offers three advantages that other code doesn't. One, it interacts with PLixels directly - no PLixels, no glitch. Two, it's linked to graphical data like sprites and meshes, so the glitch has a built-in blueprint for determining its shape. And three, it's complex enough that the resulting glitch is able to avoid being destroyed once it exists. Which, in practice, means all glitches major enough to get our attention are either smart enough to recognize danger..."

"Or really hard to kill?" Pentifer interjected.

"Yeah, that's about right," Hum answered back. "It doesn't always take physical damage to the HCP to cause a glitch to appear, though. These days, most of the glitches you see from older games spawn because an aging system finally gave up the ghost, or because someone popped in a bootleg cartridge thinking that the Hinobi Seal of Approval is just a formality, but back in the day, programmers used to cut corners all the time, usually because they either figured nobody would ever see it or because they needed to meet a deadline. By the way, guys, Merry Chr--"

Before he could even finish his sentence, the comms exploded into an orchestra of annoyed groaning.

"See what I mean? Now think about how bad it was back before day-one patches."

 

[Captain Wyldstorm]

"I'll third that," Hum said.

Pentifer's protector had stayed silent until then but gave a sound of agreement.

"...I like Hawaiian pizza," iQ grumbled, slightly melancholic about the presence of the anti-pineapple mafia. He motioned toward Pentifer and Elextrixtr. "Should we check if..."

"Yeah, we'll handle it."

Hum opened up the door as the truck came to a stop.

"Alright, there's a lot to unpack, but I'll try to give you the short version. This is the real world - well, we assume it is, anyway. As of right now, we don't have any moon colonies and we haven't met any aliens, so it's also the only world we have. Anything that threatens the Earth threatens humanity... including humanity itself. We... kind of made the climate crap the bed lately. It's a long story. But we're working on it."

He led the two towards the vehicle, explaining on the way.

"Unlike a game world, you only get one life here. The good news is, death rates have plummeted in the last hundred years or so - partly because of medical advances, and partly because of Game Mechanics." He paused, realizing suddenly just what he'd said. "Oh. Right. That's an acronym, by the way: Glitch-Altered Mesotechnological Entity. Basically, PLixel beings, like you. At least, that's what The Man calls them. We just call them glitches for short. Game Mechanics are people who get sent to contain dangerous GAMEs before they cause too much damage. That includes Glitch Techs like us. Though if you ask me, the name 'Glitch Tech' doesn't exactly roll off the tongue. I don't know what Hinobi was thinking.

"The point I was getting at," he continued, "is that the reason glitches manifest is because of the way mesotech like PLixels work. There's a lot of technical voodoo involved, but at its core, a mesomachine is a machine that operates at multiple different scales, like the cells that make up a human body." He took an HCP out of one of his many pockets and held it between his fingers. "And when an HCP, like this one here, starts sending the wrong instructions to them, they start doing... unusual things. But glitches almost never compile themselves from regular computer programming, because game code offers three advantages that other code doesn't. One, it interacts with PLixels directly - no PLixels, no glitch. Two, it's linked to graphical data like sprites and meshes, so the glitch has a built-in blueprint for determining its shape. And three, it's complex enough that the resulting glitch is able to avoid being destroyed once it exists. Which, in practice, means all glitches major enough to get our attention are either smart enough to recognize danger..."

"Or really hard to kill?" Pentifer interjected.

"Yeah, that's about right," Hum answered back. "It doesn't always take physical damage to the HCP to cause a glitch to appear, though. These days, most of the glitches you see from older games spawn because an aging system finally gave up the ghost, or because someone popped in a bootleg cartridge thinking that the Hinobi Seal of Approval is just a formality, but back in the day, programmers used to cut corners all the time, usually because they either figured nobody would ever see it or because they needed to meet a deadline. By the way, guys, Merry Chr--"

Before he could even finish his sentence, the comms exploded into an orchestra of annoyed groaning.

"See what I mean? Now think about how bad it was back before day-one patches."

Hoo boy, that was a lot to take in. Pentifer had stopped eating to listen, and it was clear it had baffled him. Elextrixtr quite shook him out of his zoned-out state.

 

[Gadg8eer]

Hoo boy, that was a lot to take in. Pentifer had stopped eating to listen, and it was clear it had baffled him. Elextrixtr quite shook him out of his zoned-out state.

Though to be fair, he was - to a degree - aware of most of this. Being the punisher of wicked souls he is, and the protagonist of a game, he was - demon or not - quite concerned about what he knew about humanity's reality from the beginning, though the part about Glitches was somewhat over his head as it was not something Glitches are normally made aware of in their backstories. It was even technically part of his series' lore that rather than actual evil, the Angels are a hive mind named the Godworks and Demons are the "ants" of this hive mind assigned to punish those who are truly irredeemable, like Hitler or Tom Cruise.

"Ah." Hum realized. "The too long, didn't read of it is, Glitches are practically supernatural - despite being entirely scientific in origin - and IT workers like us are the hunters who find and catch them to prevent them from wreaking havok on the real world."

"Oh, you mean like in The Text Files or that one comedy with the actor from The Thresh Prince of Alternia." Pentifer said, the pop-culture starting to come together.

"Uh.. Sort of. What year do you think it is?" Hum asked.

"That's... actually a really good question, mate." Pentifer realised he should, but didn't know that. It was the 21st century, but what year seemed to be a range from 2000 to 'the forseeable future'. "If you are asking what I remember... 2000 or later?"

"Ever heard of 9/11?"

"What's that?"

"Exactly. The current year is actually 2028. It's been almost 3 decades since your backstory was written." Hum explained. "A lot of things have changed since the 1990s, you're basically Cryorca, Queen of the Arctic Ocean from the Novel Cinematic Universe."

"Wait, I thought Novel made comics books?" Pentifer said at the mention of the animal-spirit superheroine "killer whale" furry anthro Cryorca, who had been frozen in the form of an ice sculpture since the 19th Century and was reawakened to keep Santa Claus safe during the Cold War.

"They did." Hum confirmed in past tense.

Pentifer's eyes widened in wonder. "Woah."

 

[Captain Wyldstorm]

Though to be fair, he was - to a degree - aware of most of this. Being the punisher of wicked souls he is, and the protagonist of a game, he was - demon or not - quite concerned about what he knew about humanity's reality from the beginning, though the part about Glitches was somewhat over his head as it was not something Glitches are normally made aware of in their backstories. It was even technically part of his series' lore that rather than actual evil, the Angels are a hive mind named the Godworks and Demons are the "ants" of this hive mind assigned to punish those who are truly irredeemable, like Hitler or Tom Cruise.

"Ah." Hum realized. "The too long, didn't read of it is, Glitches are practically supernatural - despite being entirely scientific in origin - and IT workers like us are the hunters who find and catch them to prevent them from wreaking havok on the real world."

"Oh, you mean like in The Text Files or that one comedy with the actor from The Thresh Prince of Alternia." Pentifer said, the pop-culture starting to come together.

"Uh.. Sort of. What year do you think it is?" Hum asked.

"That's... actually a really good question, mate." Pentifer realised he should, but didn't know that. It was the 21st century, but what year seemed to be a range from 2000 to 'the forseeable future'. "If you are asking what I remember... 2000 or later?"

"Ever heard of 9/11?"

"What's that?"

"Exactly. The current year is actually 2028. It's been almost 3 decades since your backstory was written." Hum explained. "A lot of things have changed since the 1990s, you're basically Cryorca, Queen of the Arctic Ocean from the Novel Cinematic Universe."

"Wait, I thought Novel made comics books?" Pentifer said at the mention of the animal-spirit superheroine "killer whale" furry anthro Cryorca, who had been frozen in the form of an ice sculpture since the 19th Century and was reawakened to keep Santa Claus safe during the Cold War.

"They did." Hum confirmed in past tense.

Pentifer's eyes widened in wonder. "Woah."

Pentifer looked like he was about to basically implode from all of this. But Elextrixtr kept reassuring him that he'd be okay.
"Its okay, its okay. Everything's fine, alright?" She kept trying to keep Pentifer calm.

 

[Gadg8eer]

Pentifer looked like he was about to basically implode from all of this. But Elextrixtr kept reassuring him that he'd be okay.
"Its okay, its okay. Everything's fine, alright?" She kept trying to keep Pentifer calm.

"She's right. We might not know whether a God exists or not... but it's safe here and, um... Hinobi is more concerned with capturing glitches that, well, could hurt people? You don't, um... seem like your instability trying to process all this is like how Bolypius became evil." iQ said over the radio.

"How did they turn evil?" Elextrixtr asked, knowing she was still pretty new to the job.

"Having always been a fan of 3D platformers, like Pentifer's first game, I know it's at least deep enough to be referenced by the soul of the sinner Krystal Meth in the dual-series shared universe of Hotel California and Pointy-Horned Boss. So you DO understand morality, I assume. The idea is, we - as in ALL Game Mechanics - haven't lost anyone yet. We have Glitches showing up regularly everywhere in the world, 24/7/365 since Charles Babbage invented the first pre-PLixel machine we might know as a computer, especially after Hiro Hamada invented the first mesomachines in San Francisco in the 1930s and those Glitches were suddenly even worse than a hypothetical non-mesotech glitch that could range from a clock error destroying the world to security flaws that extend down to the very core of all electronics except mesoelectronic devices." Hum explained. "Hinobi would probably want you captured so far, but they're not the bad guys. I know you're not a danger, and I know Hinobi will heed that if you've been around long enough to prove them wrong. Unfortunately, that was not the case with Bolypius before we managed to convince it there was a reason to hate us. The exact details aren't known, but Operation Rad Raygun was what created and tested Bolypius, only for it to become too powerful and break free. Every failed attempt to capture it led to it becoming more hostile. By now, there's probably little chance it isn't plotting something, but I can't exactly blame it. I certainly wouldn't be okay with being created and then told not to ever do what I thought I was created to do..."

---

Flashback
My name is Giovanni Hinobi. I inherited the company from a long line of Japanese businessmen, but my mother was Italian and did not approve of the government of Mussolini. My parents fled their homelands to the United States in the 1930s.

I pen this email to all of you, future employees of Hinobi, to explain the real reason we give childish and harmless backstories to video games, before I attempt to cheat death one last time. Know that I do so not to avoid my fate, but to have time to try and spare all my successors the consequences of our Hubris. If I fail, I apologize for unleashing what I have wrought.

The first video game, Ping, was also the first instance of our rivals, the Arasaka Troubleshooters, being publicly visible. They took advantage of Glitching phenomenon's link to Ping to try and prove they were the Japanese megacorp to beat, however without system restore they were quickly billed as murderers when our beloved creative figure Dr. Gunpei was mortally wounded. Fortunately he backed up his notes, we have attributed every advancement based on his pioneering work to him for decades to cover up that he died long before the realization of the Game Bee.

In 1987, we tried to fight back. We managed to obtain the source code for Arasaka's secret weapon... Project Delamain.

We sought to... dreamed of... creating the hardest, most innovative video game ever conceived...

We succeeded.

---

"He also succeeded in cheating death, but only for, like, a few years. The email is older than I am, I was 2 when he passed on. Incidentally, the only non-employee he sent it to was Gatoshi Mitsubachi, an unknown yet famous person who created the cryptokens we use as currency, BeeCoin. Gatoshi Mitsubachi is wanted by the authorities in several countries for the creation of Bolypius, Giovanni Hinobi died with a legacy of shame, and that's why Biotechnica is the only one of these corporations who creates life and modifies people. System restore has prevented any deaths since Giovanni survived the confrontation that nearly killed him and killed Dr. Gunpei in the 1960s. Not even Hinobi could trust Hinobi to be Geneforgers, and anyone else didn't have a snowball's chance in whatever the Atheist equivalent of Hell is to get government approval to create medical technology. Well, except Rayari and Crusader's medical branch, but they aren't exactly 'Tech Support'... they make artificial species and aircraft, respectively, although Crusader is a special case because their founders August Dunlow and Anthony Tanaka were the gay orphans who shot Hitler so they have big shoes to keep filling via exhorbitant amounts of charity donations - usually to hospitals and medical research goals like making PLixelfs. Anyway, that's why our hospitals all have Biotechnica's logo on the equipment, but most stuff elsewhere is either Hinobi, Volpe, Quill, microDyne or Blume." Hum finished, both the explanation and double-checking his equipment. "Try not to actually force yourself to pay attention, it should be easier for your code to absorb the info if you just let it bubble to the surface when it becomes relevant."

Finally, he knocked on the door of the Hello Bunny-themed pink Tech Van. "Hey, Tobi? Juan? You in there?"

 

[Captain Wyldstorm]

"She's right. We might not know whether a God exists or not... but it's safe here and, um... Hinobi is more concerned with capturing glitches that, well, could hurt people? You don't, um... seem like your instability trying to process all this is like how Bolypius became evil." iQ said over the radio.

"How did they turn evil?" Elextrixtr asked, knowing she was still pretty new to the job.

"Having always been a fan of 3D platformers, like Pentifer's first game, I know it's at least deep enough to be referenced by the soul of the sinner Krystal Meth in the dual-series shared universe of Hotel California and Pointy-Horned Boss. So you DO understand morality, I assume. The idea is, we - as in ALL Game Mechanics - haven't lost anyone yet. We have Glitches showing up regularly everywhere in the world, 24/7/365 since Charles Babbage invented the first pre-PLixel machine we might know as a computer, especially after Hiro Hamada invented the first mesomachines in San Francisco in the 1930s and those Glitches were suddenly even worse than a hypothetical non-mesotech glitch that could range from a clock error destroying the world to security flaws that extend down to the very core of all electronics except mesoelectronic devices." Hum explained. "Hinobi would probably want you captured so far, but they're not the bad guys. I know you're not a danger, and I know Hinobi will heed that if you've been around long enough to prove them wrong. Unfortunately, that was not the case with Bolypius before we managed to convince it there was a reason to hate us. The exact details aren't known, but Operation Rad Raygun was what created and tested Bolypius, only for it to become too powerful and break free. Every failed attempt to capture it led to it becoming more hostile. By now, there's probably little chance it isn't plotting something, but I can't exactly blame it. I certainly wouldn't be okay with being created and then told not to ever do what I thought I was created to do..."

---

Flashback
My name is Giovanni Hinobi. I inherited the company from a long line of Japanese businessmen, but my mother was Italian and did not approve of the government of Mussolini. My parents fled their homelands to the United States in the 1930s.

I pen this email to all of you, future employees of Hinobi, to explain the real reason we give childish and harmless backstories to video games, before I attempt to cheat death one last time. Know that I do so not to avoid my fate, but to have time to try and spare all my successors the consequences of our Hubris. If I fail, I apologize for unleashing what I have wrought.

The first video game, Ping, was also the first instance of our rivals, the Arasaka Troubleshooters, being publicly visible. They took advantage of Glitching phenomenon's link to Ping to try and prove they were the Japanese megacorp to beat, however without system restore they were quickly billed as murderers when our beloved creative figure Dr. Gunpei was mortally wounded. Fortunately he backed up his notes, we have attributed every advancement based on his pioneering work to him for decades to cover up that he died long before the realization of the Game Bee.

In 1987, we tried to fight back. We managed to obtain the source code for Arasaka's secret weapon... Project Delamain.

We sought to... dreamed of... creating the hardest, most innovative video game ever conceived...

We succeeded.

---

"He also succeeded in cheating death, but only for, like, 5 years. The email is older than I am, I was 2 when he passed on. And that's why Biotechnica is the only one of these corporations who creates life and modifies people. System restore has prevented any deaths since Giovanni survived the confrontation that nearly killed him and killed Dr. Gunpei in the 1960s. Not even Hinobi could trust Hinobi to be Geneforgers, and anyone else didn't have a snowball's chance in whatever the Atheist equivalent of Hell is to get government approval to create medical technology. Well, except Rayari and Crusader's medical branch, but they aren't exactly 'Tech Support'... they make artificial species and aircraft, respectively, although Crusader is a special case because August Dunlow and Anthony Tanaka were the gay orphans who shot Hitler so they have big shoes to keep filling via exhorbitant amounts of charity donations - usually to hospitals and medical research goals like making PLixelfs. Anyway, that's why our hospitals all have Biotechnica's logo on the equipment, but most stuff elsewhere is either Hinobi, Volpe, Quill, microDyne or Blume." Hum finished, both the explanation and double-checking his equipment. "Try not to actually force yourself to pay attention, it should be easier for your code to absorb the info if you just let it bubble to the surface when it becomes relevant."

Finally, he knocked on the door of the Hello Bunny-themed pink Tech Van. "Hey, Tobi? Juan? You in there?"

Pentifer shrugged."Eh, its kinda cool that I just poofed from one world into another. There's gotta be some fancy word for it somewhere." He grinned, a sign he wouldn't become evil.

 

[Gadg8eer]

((where were we In the Spike and Bulldog Plot?))

(( We kind of weren't. The flashback was just to introduce them and then I realized anything beyond that couldn't have happened before Zoe first met my character in the second post ever of the RP. BUT! They can tag along with the other three while I come up with something for Zoe and in-verse Gadge. It would be a good way to flesh them out beyond "those two guys"/"gamers on a couch webcomic protagonists". Eliza and Erwin too, I have some inklings of ideas to develop. ))

((Sweet!))

Grand Forks, British Columbia, Canada
2028-06-29@364 Winks
For the uninitiated (in short, the Audience the Council of Evil had referred to with mysterious post-modern villain knowledge), there is a weird but real (as in real life outside this RP) decimal time system called "Swatch Internet Time" which divides the day into 1000 Beats (000 to 999) with "000" being roughly 12:00 PM CET. This was invented by some supposedly trendy Swiss watchmaker whose creations were less timepieces and more fancy toys or collectibles. You know, a fad like Beanie Babies or Pokémon. Or like NFTs and Funko Pops.

Anyway, in GTX's strange welded canon, the equivalent was .Winks Sleepnet Time, which divided the day into 1000 "Winks" but was synchronized to the time in New Delhi (IST), the most populous time zone in the world in 1997 as China was growing fast but hadn't overtaken it. Hinobi purchased the Intellectual Property rights to .Winks once Merchantsoft realized they "had a dud on their hands and/or wrists"... only to wish they hadn't when Hinobi's line of Drone phones in Japan came standard with a built-in ".beet" converter in the clock menu (where 000 is synchronized to JST +9:00), and proceeded to sell the chip they developed to do it to both watch manufacturers and phone carriers.

By 2008 it was cemented as a defining feature of the Early Infocommunist-era Sleepnet (the beginning of the era of "social" media like MyScape, Spacebook or Friendface and Comb 2.0 centralized streaming services like Arasaka's DotFlix, Sidney+, and Hinobi's Swarm Store and BeeTube) and that was when Quill took it and ran with it, including it in their iqTop line (even in their last update to InkOS for the PowerTop chip architecture of the iqTop 63 and iqTop 64) of All-In-One PCs and iqCandy (pronounced "Eye-Candy") music players, then their iCell ("iCell. Like hotcakes. Now starting at just <this offer not available in Region: Canada> with a 2 year contract. Contact your mobile carrier for sales information, or buy it unlocked at your local Ink Shop.") phones and iqTab datapads all before the Quill Watch's use of Winks (with the option to use the .beets Trademark and have its "Pro Gamer Cred" and the convenience of not having to convert from Winks to Beets for a $10 a month iqTunes Premium subscription fee) finally cemented the system in the public consciousness enough to be the rule and not the exception.

These days, the only clocks that sometimes came without .beets or their .winks equivalent were mechanical clocks - antiques or reproductions of older clocks - and even that was rare. The only reason it needed to be mentioned is, while it hadn't reached conservative cities like Houston or small towns like Grand Forks, major world cities like Los Angeles, New York, London, Dubai and Seoul had switched back to Winks over the past year in response to an increase in iqTunes Premium subscription rates and the population of India having re-overtaken that of China (PRC China) over the past few years, making .winks the most populous time zone in the world once again. Even Hinobi was forced to offer the option due to European Union consumer protection laws requiring free conversion between all relevant units in all devices made beginning in 2026.

That being said, the nations of Asia had never fully gotten along with each other, leading to tWinks and bWinks. tWinks, or "Terrestrial .Winks" used CEST because it was created for the European Union's Special Economic Zone, the major central locations of which were, well, in the Central European Standard Time zone. As a result, tWinks were the current standard and what people referred to as Winks now, with the original New Delhi-synchronized .wink being referred to as "Ink Winks" for their association with Quill products, and "bWinks" attaining the name "Blinks". Terrestrial Winks are identical to real life .beat time for ease of meta-usage, and were the primary timekeeping method in 2028 after decades of the standard being used in some form.

Grand Forks City Hall was one of such places where clocks could not simply be "software patched" for the sake of convenience. Due to the importance of Game Mechanics' work in the IT field, such "Bug Catchers", "Geek Squads" or "Cyberentomologists" or, indeed, "Glitch Techs" or whatever other name companies would use for their own in-the-field tech support, finding and updating such devices was one of the more boring parts of the job. Even though the clock on the roof of the City Hall - which had originally been the town's Post Office - was essentially correct and had AugReal VidWindows just below the clock faces to provide the time in .beets, Spike, Bulldog and "Bert" (Erwin "SavageDragonbert" O' Skunk) had been called in because the ancient BCC Computron terminal and it's prerequisite minicomputer needed to be updated before the ctOS Lite installation completed. The clocks on City Hall were last replaced in 1999 to utilize the then-new .winks time system that was to be introduced to fix the Y2K bug. With ctOS using tWinks and the mechanical clock they'd just replaced providing a conversion of the mechanical clock's count in the now-obsolete "Ink Winks" via the surrounding VidWindows, there was no telling what such a "desync" event could do to the city grid's system stability. They'd managed it just in the nick of time, and then spent the next 45 minutes gathering up everything they brought in to put it all back in their van.

"Oi, look. It's the teletuber head girl." Bert pointed as the van passed by. "What's her name, Xena or someth- Zoe!" he realised, and talked into his radio. "Oi! Zoe! It's Bert from General Protection Assault, how are the bridges doing?"

No response came, leaving Bert confused by the situation, but the vehicle did have its 'self-driving warning lights' on so he assumed it was because she was new and distracted. "What, is she muted? I's says to her over an' over not to turn off her gauntlet or she's not logged in and no paycheck!"

"I'm sorry, I don't know that one." responded Glitch Eliza, subtly letting him know she was listening without letting Horizen Prime - which monitored its ElizaWeb Agent Software - know she was a sentient copy of Eliza.

 

[Gadg8eer]

"Sounds like we've both been there, but I swear I've done my best to not lie to you and to come clean about Biotechnica and CheatGenKey without breaking OpSec." she said. "It's going to be a bit of a long flight, feel free to fall asleep."

(( Naptime for Alice! ))

As Alice drifted off, Dee opened up an AugReal VidWindow to contact someone. "Hey, Jack? I need to hire a RipperDoc. Who have you got that's near?"

---

Alice became conscious to realized she was standing on her feet, in what seemed to be a small room with glowing grey walls and no exits. A small, late 1990s beige desktop PC was placed on a rigid glowing pink surface about the size of a desk but which seemed to hover at just the right height to type and click standing up. As she finished coming back to her senses, she noticed that the PC was not turned on and the mouse and keyboard did not have cables as would be expected of such outdated equipment, and that somehow she was in the form of her BeeTuber persona...

Spoiler: Posted with LordMoldoma's permission, do NOT repost.

 

[Lady Moldoma]

Looking down at her hands, Zoe briefly moved them up to her face and through her hair, grabbing onto her horns briefly. "D-Did I die and reincarnate in my player-character? I-Is this an isekai? Did the plane crash?" She looked around almost worriedly before sighing. "Oof.. If that's the case then... What a relief... If there's some sort of deity up there who did this, my only last request is that Dee gives Gadg8 my regards."

"But... I couldn't fucking breathe there and the whole place stunk of human greed... O-On earth I mean... Those few moments with Dee were... Okay... and the Glitch Tech stuff almost let me forget... But I had to leave my fucking house and I was already on a downward trend." She approached the PC and looked at the screen, it was blank, off, as stated prior.

"It's being around other people that bothers me. I don't like them seeing my real body. Or what was my real body I guess." She looked for an on-off button, and simultaneously for any identifying marks on the monitor.

 

[Gadg8eer]

Looking down at her hands, Zoe briefly moved them up to her face and through her hair, grabbing onto her horns briefly. "D-Did I die and reincarnate in my player-character? I-Is this an isekai? Did the plane crash?" She looked around almost worriedly before sighing. "Oof.. If that's the case then... What a relief... If there's some sort of deity up there who did this, my only last request is that Dee gives Gadg8 my regards."

"But... I couldn't fucking breathe there and the whole place stunk of human greed... O-On earth I mean... Those few moments with Dee were... Okay... and the Glitch Tech stuff almost let me forget... But I had to leave my fucking house and I was already on a downward trend." She approached the PC and looked at the screen, it was blank, off, as stated prior.

"It's being around other people that bothers me. I don't like them seeing my real body. Or what was my real body I guess." She looked for an on-off button, and simultaneously for any identifying marks on the monitor.

The logo on the computer looked relatively normal...

...and a power button was on the short squat "pizza box" tower's front panel.

 

[Lady Moldoma]

The logo on the computer looked relatively normal...

...and a power button was on the short squat "pizza box" tower's front panel.

"O-Oh... Merchantsoft... This must just be a weird virtual dream..." She pressed the power button, hoping to see what the monitor and its accompanying tower had in store.

---

No response came, leaving Bert confused by the situation, but the vehicle did have its 'self-driving warning lights' on so he assumed it was because she was new and distracted. "What, is she muted? I's says to her over an' over not to turn off her gauntlet or she's not logged in and no paycheck!"

A sigh came from the other end of the radio, it sounded... Almost like Zoe. "This is a low tier chatbot response based on ZoeIRL's personality datagram. She's not here right now, and I'm not permitted to give out the status of her current location. Not that I really know or care to..." The voice was even more mechanical than her normal remote voice. "If you have any questions about streaming schedules, merchandise, or current advertising deals. I can send you the links but... I get the feeling you might not be here for that... Judging from the fact that this is a corporate-trailed radio signal..."

"She has programmed me with a special message. In case you're here from IOI... But this commlink indicates you're from Hinobi. So I'm not exactly sure what I'm supposed to say... The gauntlet is technically on, but she literally can't operate this body to my knowledge. Again though, I'm not an idea engine, so it's a flawed guess."

The vocal chatbot sounded a lot more depressed and cynical than even Zoe herself normally did, even when speaking remotely. It was the same sort of malicious tone that she had started to take on her streams, especially now that views were dropping and she was losing passion for it.

At least while she had been doing her job as a tech, she seemed to be pretty engaged, and maybe even a little happy at some points. But this voice seemed to reflect a much more solemn side of her, if in fact it was based on her accurately.

---

Bolypius nervously scratched at its neck, this was an idling animation that it had started to develop as a tick, since one of the members of team 13 heroes had done it, and Bolypius sought to understand and emulate their abilities and strategies.

"Each one of you is Level 8. 7 is standard for a final boss, and in some cases, but Hinobi-Hard and especially esoteric-manifestation-event bosses can be level 8 without necessarily being secret superbosses or naturally programmed with typical level 8 traits in mind." It almost frantically tries to strategize. "I counted 7... We'll call them technical support agents for now... They were each carrying weapons that looked like ones I've only encountered one other time, inferior in precision to hinobis, but made with raw power in mind. The captain of their team was the only one I got a full scan on the equipment of. Judging from the EXP value, I'd say he's experienced enough to take on a few level 7's and win with a fair amount of ease. Just one of you would be enough to give him a hard fight or even defeat him, however..." Bolypius paced back and forth, speaking mostly for its own sake, though probably still expecting the others to follow its reasoning.

"There's 7 of them however. And I don't know what his other teammates are capable of. Whether they had knowledge going into this and countermeasures or if they're a provisional engagement squad is not known to me. At least partially due to the fact that they're not from Hinobi."

"They'll likely try and move through the sub-level and use what abilities and items they can to their advantage. I recommend if you can, that you please keep a close eye on what you can see there."

"As for me. I'm in no condition to fight. The equipment they have is something I'm not familiar with. In my weakened state, I'd probably end up being a liability. The best thing you can do is show me to wherever you've been generating glitches from and allow me to try and regain some of my strength. I'll likely require 5,000,000 C of EXP to return to baseline level 8 by consuming the energy of other glitches, preferably ones that aren't sentient or particularly capable of resisting my persuasive abilities. I must remind you that I am currently at 9% power and declining...."

"That means... I'll have to excuse myself from battling these opponents in particular... Though if I manage to reach a period of preliminary recovery, however limited it may be, say around 20 or 30% power, I'll try to help you. For now, I've provided you with valuable data, and my word. I hope that's enough."

Bolypius turned, specifically looking at one of the other councilors in particular.

"One more thing... Dr. X... Consider this your end of the confirmation... If you really are a divergent glitch, in the same way that I am... You'll be able to push through even if I'm in no condition to fight on your behalf as I am now... Trust is a valuable thing, and I don't have any for humans after 50 years, but I'm just open minded enough to try it with other glitches..."

 

[Gadg8eer]

...

(( Spacer for organizing the posts in Reader Mode ))

"The sun. Lifegiver. Divine. But can you rely on it? Holtow Sun Insurance protects YOUR Hiverse assets from having the power cut if the worst happens. Holtow Sun Insurance. Brighter than ever."

"This has been your daily sponsored ad! Thanks for using microDyne Portals 12!"

"WHO'S THAT FLUNKY?"

"It's Gloyo!"

 

[Gadg8eer]

Bolypius nervously scratched at its neck, this was an idling animation that it had started to develop as a tick, since one of the members of team 13 heroes had done it, and Bolypius sought to understand and emulate their abilities and strategies.

"Each one of you is Level 8. 7 is standard for a final boss, and in some cases, but Hinobi-Hard and especially esoteric-manifestation-event bosses can be level 8 without necessarily being secret superbosses or naturally programmed with typical level 8 traits in mind." It almost frantically tries to strategize. "I counted 7... We'll call them technical support agents for now... They were each carrying weapons that looked like ones I've only encountered one other time, inferior in precision to hinobis, but made with raw power in mind. The captain of their team was the only one I got a full scan on the equipment of. Judging from the EXP value, I'd say he's experienced enough to take on a few level 7's and win with a fair amount of ease. Just one of you would be enough to give him a hard fight or even defeat him, however..." Bolypius paced back and forth, speaking mostly for its own sake, though probably still expecting the others to follow its reasoning.

"There's 7 of them however. And I don't know what his other teammates are capable of. Whether they had knowledge going into this and countermeasures or if they're a provisional engagement squad is not known to me. At least partially due to the fact that they're not from Hinobi."

"They'll likely try and move through the sub-level and use what abilities and items they can to their advantage. I recommend if you can, that you please keep a close eye on what you can see there."

"As for me. I'm in no condition to fight. The equipment they have is something I'm not familiar with. In my weakened state, I'd probably end up being a liability. The best thing you can do is show me to wherever you've been generating glitches from and allow me to try and regain some of my strength. I'll likely require 5,000,000 C of EXP to return to baseline level 8 by consuming the energy of other glitches, preferably ones that aren't sentient or particularly capable of resisting my persuasive abilities. I must remind you that I am currently at 9% power and declining...."

"That means... I'll have to excuse myself from battling these opponents in particular... Though if I manage to reach a period of preliminary recovery, however limited it may be, say around 20 or 30% power, I'll try to help you. For now, I've provided you with valuable data, and my word. I hope that's enough."

Bolypius turned, specifically looking at one of the other councilors in particular.

"One more thing... Dr. X... Consider this your end of the confirmation... If you really are a divergent glitch, in the same way that I am... You'll be able to push through even if I'm in no condition to fight on your behalf as I am now... Trust is a valuable thing, and I don't have any for humans after 50 years, but I'm just open minded enough to try it with other glitches..."

Dr. X wasn't exactly what Bolypius suspected he was, but he was something similar. Similar enough to worry him, but again he didn't show it. Instead he took out his Power Gauntlet - a sci-fi style device meant to evoke the prototype devices under development at the time, originally worn by Dr. X in the Saturday Morning Adventures of Zoom Kazoom cartoon, and of course the ill-received Captain Aech and the Game Engineers animated movie of the Atom Girl H: The Game Master comics (loosely based on various Hinobi games). While the latter was extremely cheesy and heavy with cringe-inducing "Cowboy Bebop at His Computer" moments, it had the nostalgia of "when video games didn't have detailed stories except in the manual nobody reads". The former was just a diversity pitch that changed Captain "Aech" from red hair and green eyes to brown hair and blue eyes but left the "already a diversity Token" skin color at exactly the shade of vaguely dark brown she had before, and cut out her personality to replace it with horseshoe-esque Extreme-Left/Alt-Right political propaganda that seemed to switch between "Woke" and "Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminist" after the cheap voice actor took a vape break and/or as it angered her.

The Hinobi Power Gauntlet was relatively useless on it's own. Without "tech support" (a nod towards the then in-the-works Glitch Techs division) from 5 people bearing the Rings of Cosmic Pander (The Windwaker, the Waterstone, the Earthbinder, the Fireflower, and the Heartometer. "By your powers combined, I AM CAPTAIN H!" "Goooooo Hinobi!") to link-cable to the Power Gauntlet, it was unable to do anything at all. With all 5 nearby, however, the Glove could reshape reality, as it did when Zoom Kazoom was replaced by Atom Girl Z, with just a press of a button.

But that was just a cartoon. The actual, glitchable Dr. X character was from a video game, and as the source material, it said the Gauntlet was non-canon. Did Bolypius know that? Or was it bluffing?

He only used it to communicate with someone, however. "Znare, I need you to take Bolypius and go somevhere zafe." he said into the device. "Vell, Ladies... Gentlemen... it zeems ve have a zituation on our hands. Vhy don't we show these... Eye-of-Eyes or Ee-oys or vhatever zhe hell zhey are... vhy ve have Boss Alerts? *8-bit Villain Laugh*"

If anyone else was coming, this time they'd be prepared.

 

[Sir loin of beef]

"O-Oh... Merchantsoft... This must just be a weird virtual dream..." She pressed the power button, hoping to see what the monitor and its accompanying tower had in store.

---

A sigh came from the other end of the radio, it sounded... Almost like Zoe. "This is a low tier chatbot response based on ZoeIRL's personality datagram. She's not here right now, and I'm not permitted to give out the status of her current location. Not that I really know or care to..." The voice was even more mechanical than her normal remote voice. "If you have any questions about streaming schedules, merchandise, or current advertising deals. I can send you the links but... I get the feeling you might not be here for that... Judging from the fact that this is a corporate-trailed radio signal..."

"She has programmed me with a special message. In case you're here from IOI... But this commlink indicates you're from Hinobi. So I'm not exactly sure what I'm supposed to say... The gauntlet is technically on, but she literally can't operate this body to my knowledge. Again though, I'm not an idea engine, so it's a flawed guess."

The vocal chatbot sounded a lot more depressed and cynical than even Zoe herself normally did, even when speaking remotely. It was the same sort of malicious tone that she had started to take on her streams, especially now that views were dropping and she was losing passion for it.

At least while she had been doing her job as a tech, she seemed to be pretty engaged, and maybe even a little happy at some points. But this voice seemed to reflect a much more solemn side of her, if in fact it was based on her accurately.

---

Bolypius nervously scratched at its neck, this was an idling animation that it had started to develop as a tick, since one of the members of team 13 heroes had done it, and Bolypius sought to understand and emulate their abilities and strategies.

"Each one of you is Level 8. 7 is standard for a final boss, and in some cases, but Hinobi-Hard and especially esoteric-manifestation-event bosses can be level 8 without necessarily being secret superbosses or naturally programmed with typical level 8 traits in mind." It almost frantically tries to strategize. "I counted 7... We'll call them technical support agents for now... They were each carrying weapons that looked like ones I've only encountered one other time, inferior in precision to hinobis, but made with raw power in mind. The captain of their team was the only one I got a full scan on the equipment of. Judging from the EXP value, I'd say he's experienced enough to take on a few level 7's and win with a fair amount of ease. Just one of you would be enough to give him a hard fight or even defeat him, however..." Bolypius paced back and forth, speaking mostly for its own sake, though probably still expecting the others to follow its reasoning.

"There's 7 of them however. And I don't know what his other teammates are capable of. Whether they had knowledge going into this and countermeasures or if they're a provisional engagement squad is not known to me. At least partially due to the fact that they're not from Hinobi."

"They'll likely try and move through the sub-level and use what abilities and items they can to their advantage. I recommend if you can, that you please keep a close eye on what you can see there."

"As for me. I'm in no condition to fight. The equipment they have is something I'm not familiar with. In my weakened state, I'd probably end up being a liability. The best thing you can do is show me to wherever you've been generating glitches from and allow me to try and regain some of my strength. I'll likely require 5,000,000 C of EXP to return to baseline level 8 by consuming the energy of other glitches, preferably ones that aren't sentient or particularly capable of resisting my persuasive abilities. I must remind you that I am currently at 9% power and declining...."

"That means... I'll have to excuse myself from battling these opponents in particular... Though if I manage to reach a period of preliminary recovery, however limited it may be, say around 20 or 30% power, I'll try to help you. For now, I've provided you with valuable data, and my word. I hope that's enough."

Bolypius turned, specifically looking at one of the other councilors in particular.

"One more thing... Dr. X... Consider this your end of the confirmation... If you really are a divergent glitch, in the same way that I am... You'll be able to push through even if I'm in no condition to fight on your behalf as I am now... Trust is a valuable thing, and I don't have any for humans after 50 years, but I'm just open minded enough to try it with other glitches..."

Dr. X wasn't exactly what Bolypius suspected he was, but he was something similar. Similar enough to worry him, but again he didn't show it. Instead he took out his Power Gauntlet - a sci-fi style device meant to evoke the prototype devices under development at the time, originally warn by Dr. X in the Saturday Morning Adventures of Zoom Kazoom cartoon, and of course the ill-received Captain Aech and the Game Engineers animated movie of the Atom Girl H: The Game Master comics (loosely based on various Hinobi games). While the latter was extremely cheesy and heavy with cringe-inducing "Cowboy Bebop at His Computer" moments, it had the nostalgia of "when video games didn't have detailed stories except in the manual nobody reads". The former was just a diversity pitch that changed Captain "Aech" from red hair and green eyes to brown hair and blue eyes but left the "already a diversity Token" skin color at exactly the shade of vaguely dark brown she had before, and cut out her personality to replace it with horseshoe-esque Extreme-Left/Alt-Right political propaganda that seemed to switch between "Woke" and "Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminist" after the cheap voice actor took a vape break and/or as it angered her.

The Hinobi Power Gauntlet was relatively useless on it's own. Without "tech support" (a nod towards the then in-the-works Glitch Techs division) from 5 people bearing the Rings of Cosmic Pander (The Windwaker, the Waterstone, the Earthbinder, the Fireflower, and the Heartometer. "By your powers combined, I AM CAPTAIN H!" "Goooooo Hinobi!") to link-cable to the Power Gauntlet, it was unable to do anything at all. With all 5 nearby, however, the Glove could reshape reality, as it did when Zoom Kazoom was replaced by Atom Girl Z, with just a press of a button.

But that was just a cartoon. The actual, glitchable Dr. X character was from a video game, and as the source material, it said the Gauntlet was non-canon. Did Bolypius know that? Or was it bluffing?

He only used it to communicate with someone, however. "Znare, I need you to take Bolypius and go somevhere zafe." he said into the device. "Vell, Ladies... Gentlemen... it zeems ve have a zituation on our hands. Vhy don't we show these... Eye-of-Eyes or Ee-oys or vhatever zhe hell zhey are... vhy ve have Boss Alerts? *8-bit Villain Laugh*"

If anyone else was coming, this time they'd be prepared.

(Before I begin this post, I'd like to thank Gadg8eer For Possibly Explaining How Dr X can fight Both Atom Girl and Zoom Kazoom outside of Crossovers because I was confused there, I still have some Questions but lets get to the post)

A Purple beam of light which looks like the ones that appear when Atom girl is Teleporting into the start of a level Minus Being Blue, this was snare Showing up to basically be Bolypius's Ride to a Location to Recover from a Decade of Imprisonment with a Superweapon in his eye. (OOC:Yeesh having your eye impaled for a decade would not be good for your health) As the council left to Prepare to Give the Troubleshooters The works.

 

[Gadg8eer]

(Before I begin this post, I'd like to thank Gadg8eer For Possibly Explaining How Dr X can fight Both Atom Girl and Zoom Kazoom outside of Crossovers because I was confused there, I still have some Questions but lets get to the post)

A Purple beam of light which looks like the ones that appear when Atom girl is Teleporting into the start of a level Minus Being Blue, this was snare Showing up to basically be Bolypius's Ride to a Location to Recover from a Decade of Imprisonment with a Superweapon in his eye. (OOC:Yeesh having your eye impaled for a decade would not be good for your health) As the council left to Prepare to Give the Troubleshooters The works.

Bolypius decided to subtly copy a particular bit of code from Snare as the other Glitch made contact to teleport both of them away, but was otherwise silent. Snare looked over at Dr. X and then at Bolypius, then teleported himself and the Glitch King to Dr. X's backup fortress "nestled in the heart of the Rocky Mountains!" (or something) a.k.a "It's supposed to be a SECRET backup fortress".

"Now, vhere vere ve? Ah, yes." Dr. X said, and executed a combo sequence on one of the arcade cabinets. "RELEASE ZE KRAKEN!" he shouted, and inserted an arcade token.

---

"I don't want to hear it, just get it done. What am I even paying you for?" Gavin said over the call to 'IOI_616001', the company-mandated Non-Fungible Cryptoken that activated while IOI Sixers were on duty and was assigned based on their character level (the highest level being 001 and the lowest being however many (up to 999) IOI Sixers were in operation.

Despite the creepy authoritarianism of IOI's employment policies, there was one thing that couldn't be denied about their tech support; you got paid good and weren't expected to actually fix anything because otherwise it would be on the Sixer's own tab. So it was rare for anyone to join with the same mindset as a Glitch Tech; most Sixers were flunkies (and not the catch-able kind) who couldn't hack it as an Arasaka Troubleshooter but still were purely in it for the money. They weren't very good at their job, but they didn't have to be, they just had to look the part and Uncle Sam would turn the other way, instead contributing to the lack of cities over-run with Glitches by "keeping the biggest cities of America free of" the same XP abundance as was available to all Glitch Technicians in similar countries including Canada. After all, why would a company as stingy as IOI include Medical or Dental?

This unfortunately meant that the top 7 Sixers (Code-named after the Seven Deadly Sins as "Pride", "Envy", "Wrath", etc.) had been sent on a special mission when they were no longer eligible to compete in The Finals, instead now investigating mysterious power surges coming from Danville that were causing a rash of Glitches across Washington State.

---

"The hack is this place, Pride?" Envy asked. By having the elite top 7 use names assigned to their leaderboard positions instead of anything concrete, he had only been Envy for about 2 days (this time, anyway) after falling behind Pride on the Sixer High Score board. Since his Hinobi ID was merely for gaming purposes (video games had been exclusively digital for a couple years and the Swarm Store app was the most complete of all catalogues by a landslide), it was only referenced for depositing his paycheck and he was to use designation 616002 for the duration of the mission.

You might have noticed some issues in that registration system. What happens if someone quits? Or if someone increases their rank on the leaderboard while the person they overtake is on a mission using that designation, and then the overtaker also goes on a mission?
Keeping their internal conversations dubious in their accuracy due to such flaws was intentional, it prevented the consequences of the company's actions from being as harsh as they should have been in court, giving them wiggle room when prosecutors questioned executives and employees for their shady practices.

The area looked like a Mapper got to it, but this was more than just a game map. The only one with the ability to see well was I0I-616001, whose status as the top Sixer gave his uniform a "unique cosmetic skin" of glowing gold at all times. It illuminated the room in what appeared to be an otherwise unlit stone-walled cellar or prison cell.

"Okay, watch and learn." Wrath boasted, and tapped an icon on his IOI Standard Issue "FixBit" smartwatch's secret Technician AugReal menu. He then charged forward, slamming through the wooden door and rendering it into splintered wreckage. After about 1.25 seconds doing the charging through walls thing, it wore off slightly faster than he expected and he slammed into the wall opposite their entry point. "@$$!" he swore as he clutched his face and head.

"You're lucky you didn't K.O. yourself, you idiot." Pride responded.

"This isn't good." Greed said, looking at her own FixBit. "Look at the ID of this Gltch's game."

Everyone leaned in to peer at her screen (except Wrath, who was giving them the middle finger as they ignored him). "What the shit? What even IS a Hedgelike?"

"A game where you are in a procedural dungeon and your character doesn't get out alive, like Urban Changeling: The Hedge or The Hidden Corridors. The goal is to see how far you can go before you die. It was the last major type of game to use time-based scoring." Sloth realized. "This thing is a living maze! We're trapped by an infinite series of walls and overpowered urban fantasy monsters!"

"Computers aren't infinite, there has to be a way out." Pride stated, and used his Elytra character trait to boost himself at high speed towards the trapdoor above...