TheHarlequinnCat
One Thousand Club
Levi shuddered violently; the frost biting at his heels and the tips of his exposed fingers. He rubbed them vigorously together, trying to generate some amount of heat without her to hold. The true extent of it hadn't sunk in yet, and he still found himself turning to talk to the empty imprint in the passenger seat. Images of her corpse being thrown so unceremoniously to distract the walkers burned in his thoughts. He actually believed, to some measure, that it was too cold to cry; he cursed New York, and he cursed the fact his car hadn't started soon enough, and he cursed the fact he was stuck camping in the middle of nowhere trying to leave the state. He wasn't even sure if he had, he was on autopilot; and being alone just reinforced the fact he was in survival mode. Calmly, he went to working on the exhaust of his car; it was stalling due to the cold he'd exposed it to. It was a relatively nice car, used but pristine and clean except for the dried guts under the wheels. He took this time, waiting for the engine to warm up enough to continue on his journey, to refill the gas, clean the car, and reminisce. Without her it seemed that this hell was all too real, and without her he could feel the painful memories of 'you are not good enough' and 'you could not save her' come rushing back to him. Levi sat on top of the car's hood; his knuckles white from holding his baseball bat so tightly.
He knew he wasn't the only person who grew up this way- so emotionally damaged that it seemed like broken bones didn't hurt as much as the names he was called. She saw that he grew up to think nobody could ever fall in love with him; that nobody could make him feel as though the sun and the moon and the stars were something to be contemplated, and that the faces passing by in the city weren't but gray blurs. Reflecting on this, Levi mentally concluded he would be lonely forever in this new world. He felt surrounded, closed in, and suffocated; even though he was completely alone. He could no longer hear the hungry groans of the herd, but in his mind there was a flurry of ideas and comments. It must've only been days, but it felt like years since she'd been gone; so he tried to empty himself to feel nothing at all, since nothing hurt more than this foreboding grief. Pulling his coat a little closer, he hunched in on himself; glasses fogged over and black hair sticking to his forehead. Rusty with blood. So his broken heartstrings bled the blues, billowing up in black smoke that poured out his ears, nose, and eyes. Fogging his glasses, he could not see anything but gray blurs. Gray blurs, like passing people, and missing faces, and murky glass. He felt himself breaking, yanking the prescription bottle out of his heavy coat. Levi sunk into a tidewave of anti-depressants and anti-anxieties, downing the dosage he was meant to take every day to prevent these obsessive outbreaks.
Without her, there was almost no point. He'd tried to wean himself off, and he'd been able to self-comfort with his fiancee as a safety net. Now, he had no one to remind him that there was air around him that he could breathe, or that if he came out of a reclusive state he could see that the sun was still shining. Once he felt the pit of loss fade into a blank slate, he slid off the hood of his car and got into the front seat, locking the doors, checking the supplies, and trying to rev up the engine again. Levi didn't even realize that tears were streaking tracks in the dirt on his face. He cleaned his glasses off, and gave the key a final jerk before hearing the car rumble to life. A wry smile crossed his face as he sped off, leaving behind the sensitive love he once felt and instead icing his heart over while the heat rushed to his head and streamed out in rivers down his cheeks. Levi didn't know quite where he was going, he just knew he was better stocked than most anyone he'd ran into, and that he had enough gas to go far away. That, he concluded, was where he'd go. He'd head to warmer weather, and he'd find Felix and his sister. Surely, they couldn't be too far. He'd never gotten her exact address, and had long forgotten just where she was, but he knew that they were the only connection he had left. Even if he died doing it, he had to keep a reason to live.
----
The pickup roared, and he yelled obscenities every which way as she pulled out of the driveway; it was careless and sloppy, nearly spinning off the ditch, she tried to back out and leave. Mason had stormed after her, as though he had to blame someone for the outbreak ruining his holiday. As if the idea of people turning into monsters didn't scare her enough, he'd gone so far as to burn her hands with the water she was boiling for dinner. Of course, he'd call it an accident; that he didn't realize it was steaming when he knocked it over in rage. He'd deny that he hit her that hard too. Delaney could already feel a bruise forming up on her cheekbone and under her eye, her wrists still fading yellow and black from the night before. It wasn't that he was all bad, he brought home the nicest gifts and said the sweetest things. It was just that when he had his bad moments, he was bad. Or, so she told herself; she knew that her sweet highschool honey was somewhere under this calloused bastard. The adrenaline was pumping through her body so profoundly that she had the will to ignore the fact her hands felt skinless and her mouth bled profusely.
He wasn't necessarily as mad that she was leaving as he was that she took his shotgun off the wall, fired one into the ceiling, and ran out the door with his duffle bag. Not only that, but she'd been planning this ever since the TV broadcasted the warning. She'd slowly snuck suitcases in the red pickup, a monstrously sized vehicle that she had to jump to get into with her short legs and stout frame, and he hadn't suspected a thing. Mason kicked and screamed like a toddler until she managed to get herself out of the rut, trying to apologize frantically as she sped down the snowy road. Delaney left him in a cloud of car fumes and drove blindly through the Kansas countryside. Her untamed curls were falling out of the loose bun on the back of her head, a tangle of lovely brown locks cut short into a stacked bob long before the apocalypse. Her straight brows were knit together in concern, or some sort of demented rage; her heart told her to go back, but her head told her to move on. Delaney squeezed her eyes shut, the aching in her tailbone and back becoming more and more apparent as she got farther away from Mason.
The woman had to find people, she needed a secure place to settle in and a safe barrier to prevent Mason from finding her. Not to mention, if those creatures described on the news were really such diligent killers, she knew that she couldn't drove forever. She only prayed she wouldn't have to face any of them alone, knowing full well that while she was an excellent shot; it was different when it was someone you once knew. Pursing her chapped lips, she nodded her head as if to reinforce her actions and validate her thoughts. She was not crazy, he was abusive, and she was not abandoning him, she was escaping for her own good. Still, the excitement was short term and she felt more and more vulnerable as she drove farther away; in no particular direction.
(I tried to leave them relatively vague since I don't know where anyone is yet)
He knew he wasn't the only person who grew up this way- so emotionally damaged that it seemed like broken bones didn't hurt as much as the names he was called. She saw that he grew up to think nobody could ever fall in love with him; that nobody could make him feel as though the sun and the moon and the stars were something to be contemplated, and that the faces passing by in the city weren't but gray blurs. Reflecting on this, Levi mentally concluded he would be lonely forever in this new world. He felt surrounded, closed in, and suffocated; even though he was completely alone. He could no longer hear the hungry groans of the herd, but in his mind there was a flurry of ideas and comments. It must've only been days, but it felt like years since she'd been gone; so he tried to empty himself to feel nothing at all, since nothing hurt more than this foreboding grief. Pulling his coat a little closer, he hunched in on himself; glasses fogged over and black hair sticking to his forehead. Rusty with blood. So his broken heartstrings bled the blues, billowing up in black smoke that poured out his ears, nose, and eyes. Fogging his glasses, he could not see anything but gray blurs. Gray blurs, like passing people, and missing faces, and murky glass. He felt himself breaking, yanking the prescription bottle out of his heavy coat. Levi sunk into a tidewave of anti-depressants and anti-anxieties, downing the dosage he was meant to take every day to prevent these obsessive outbreaks.
Without her, there was almost no point. He'd tried to wean himself off, and he'd been able to self-comfort with his fiancee as a safety net. Now, he had no one to remind him that there was air around him that he could breathe, or that if he came out of a reclusive state he could see that the sun was still shining. Once he felt the pit of loss fade into a blank slate, he slid off the hood of his car and got into the front seat, locking the doors, checking the supplies, and trying to rev up the engine again. Levi didn't even realize that tears were streaking tracks in the dirt on his face. He cleaned his glasses off, and gave the key a final jerk before hearing the car rumble to life. A wry smile crossed his face as he sped off, leaving behind the sensitive love he once felt and instead icing his heart over while the heat rushed to his head and streamed out in rivers down his cheeks. Levi didn't know quite where he was going, he just knew he was better stocked than most anyone he'd ran into, and that he had enough gas to go far away. That, he concluded, was where he'd go. He'd head to warmer weather, and he'd find Felix and his sister. Surely, they couldn't be too far. He'd never gotten her exact address, and had long forgotten just where she was, but he knew that they were the only connection he had left. Even if he died doing it, he had to keep a reason to live.
----
The pickup roared, and he yelled obscenities every which way as she pulled out of the driveway; it was careless and sloppy, nearly spinning off the ditch, she tried to back out and leave. Mason had stormed after her, as though he had to blame someone for the outbreak ruining his holiday. As if the idea of people turning into monsters didn't scare her enough, he'd gone so far as to burn her hands with the water she was boiling for dinner. Of course, he'd call it an accident; that he didn't realize it was steaming when he knocked it over in rage. He'd deny that he hit her that hard too. Delaney could already feel a bruise forming up on her cheekbone and under her eye, her wrists still fading yellow and black from the night before. It wasn't that he was all bad, he brought home the nicest gifts and said the sweetest things. It was just that when he had his bad moments, he was bad. Or, so she told herself; she knew that her sweet highschool honey was somewhere under this calloused bastard. The adrenaline was pumping through her body so profoundly that she had the will to ignore the fact her hands felt skinless and her mouth bled profusely.
He wasn't necessarily as mad that she was leaving as he was that she took his shotgun off the wall, fired one into the ceiling, and ran out the door with his duffle bag. Not only that, but she'd been planning this ever since the TV broadcasted the warning. She'd slowly snuck suitcases in the red pickup, a monstrously sized vehicle that she had to jump to get into with her short legs and stout frame, and he hadn't suspected a thing. Mason kicked and screamed like a toddler until she managed to get herself out of the rut, trying to apologize frantically as she sped down the snowy road. Delaney left him in a cloud of car fumes and drove blindly through the Kansas countryside. Her untamed curls were falling out of the loose bun on the back of her head, a tangle of lovely brown locks cut short into a stacked bob long before the apocalypse. Her straight brows were knit together in concern, or some sort of demented rage; her heart told her to go back, but her head told her to move on. Delaney squeezed her eyes shut, the aching in her tailbone and back becoming more and more apparent as she got farther away from Mason.
The woman had to find people, she needed a secure place to settle in and a safe barrier to prevent Mason from finding her. Not to mention, if those creatures described on the news were really such diligent killers, she knew that she couldn't drove forever. She only prayed she wouldn't have to face any of them alone, knowing full well that while she was an excellent shot; it was different when it was someone you once knew. Pursing her chapped lips, she nodded her head as if to reinforce her actions and validate her thoughts. She was not crazy, he was abusive, and she was not abandoning him, she was escaping for her own good. Still, the excitement was short term and she felt more and more vulnerable as she drove farther away; in no particular direction.
(I tried to leave them relatively vague since I don't know where anyone is yet)
