We were doomed from the Start.(CLOSED)

[DeadnotSleeping]

"I... killed them.."


The confession hurt even more. But he had to answer. He had to tell it. He promised he won't lie anymore...


Nie closed his eyes. Not like it kept back the tears. He just couldn't bear to look at Mitchell now...

 

[CharlieBoyyy]

"O...oh". I should have known "I don't hate you for it, so you know... My opinion hasn't changed of you, I promise it."


I used both hands to hold onto the frail man and decided not to press any further.


The whole situation was awkward

 

[DeadnotSleeping]

Nie was afraid so much, until his son spoke. He thought for a moment, that despite everything, he will lose Mitchell, too... then, as the boy told him he still wouldn't hate him, the dentist smiled, hanging into the kid's hands.


"Thank you... so much... I don't even... deserve you..."

 

[CharlieBoyyy]

"No, I don't deserve you... The baggage I've carried has hurt you as much as it hurt me, that's not right."


It's true. If he'd never had met me Johnny wouldn't have captured him. He wouldn't have the scars

 

[DeadnotSleeping]

"Like... you wished... for that... you didn't do... a thing... that would... have hurt... me..." Nie gathered the courage to look up. "I've... told you... before... you can't... take blame... for others'... darkness... what... they have... done to... us... it was... not your... fault... you are... a good son..."

 

[CharlieBoyyy]

"I wish I could be better though"


A true hero wouldn't let his father stay here. He'd actively look for a safe zone. With helicopters and people in hazmat suits.

 

[DeadnotSleeping]

"You're... doing... perfect" Nie really managed to smile. Even with the exhaustion and fear, his lips curved. "Especially... given... the circumstances... you are... a much better... son... than... I could... ever hope... and... I know... I'm not... a perfect... father..."


He paused, having to gather his thoughts, which started to became even more scattered. He was also a bit out of breath.


"I'll... do better... promise... so... I won't hurt you... anymore... you gave me... too much... to cherish..."

 

[CharlieBoyyy]

"No, it's not your fault you're sick. You're doing your best. You can't do any better than your best".


I noticed his voice was straining


"Come on now, you should rest. It's needed"

 

[DeadnotSleeping]

Nie nodded. His son was right. He really felt drained... his mind was clouded yet again. Only...


"Okay... I will... but only... if you rest... properly... too... what you... have done... so much... so exhausting... please... do eat... and rest... you... need it... too..."

 

[CharlieBoyyy]

"I'm still digesting the corned beef" I laugh "but yes. I'll rest now"


I took off my boots and crossed my legs of the guest chair and curled myself up on it.


"Who knows" I laugh "I might even fall asleep"

 

[DeadnotSleeping]

"Thank... you..." Nie closed his eyes. He was still a bit worried about his son, but when he tried to form the words, to inquire the boy about safety, they slinked away... he didn't really have the energy to ask, in the end. He just let himself slid into exhaustion, mentally reciting his enumeration. This time, the names in his head were comforting...

 

[CharlieBoyyy]

My mind was racing. I didn't know why. But for the longest time I was physically unable to sleep.


I just kept looking around the room. For some strange bizzare reason I wanted to tidy up... But the room was spotless. It needed flowers but they were scarce nowadays.


I buried my head into my knees and slowly but surely drifted off.

 

[DeadnotSleeping]

Nigel was back in the totrure chamber... this time, alone. In the end, he was left alone, after they passed their judgement.


He was still strapped on the rack, covered with burns and cuts... they used everything the museum held, trying out the sophisticated instruments with such glee that it horrified the mayor. They judged and sentenced him, meting out punishment...


...they were right. They were the law, after all. They held the truth and the right. And he really committed the unforgiveable sin...


He was crying now, from the pain, from sadness, from grief. He lost everyone he loved. He killed them by sending them to the safe zone. It hurt so much... now he couldn't do anything but lay there and wait for death.


The blessing of the darkness never came... just more pain and anger....

 

[CharlieBoyyy]

My dream was disturbed. Something that my father had said must have struck a chord


"I killed them"


I was strapped in his dungeon. The dead bodies hung all around like trophies... The unborn baby too. It was disgusting. Then he came in, at a similar height to Johnny.


"And I'm going to kill you too" he said as he acted manically weilding an axe around in the air.


I tried to struggle. I tried. But the leather straps. They were so tight.


"Please, dad. I'm your son please" I'd yell


"You're not my son, never were never will be" he'd retort crudely.


I could smell the room, even though it was a dream.


He cut off parts of my body and yellow would come out. Not bloody, the infection froM his back.


I'd cry in pain then he wielded for my head.


That's when I woke with a jolt and a slight yell.

 

[DeadnotSleeping]

...he wasn't alone anymore. This time, no vengeful spirits came to finish the job. No dead beloveds came to accuse him. This time, he was rescued by his son... the boy released the straps, it wasn't broken by him. Mitchell's proud smile was so bright...


Nie was awaken by the yells. First, he couldn't understand the words, just the fear, but then... he pushed himself up with such force that something ripped, and moved toward his son, forgetting about pain and weakness.


"Mitchell... Mitchell... wake up... please... I'd never... hurt you... I swear... please..." he wanted to scream, reaching for his son. It hurt, the words hurt so much, the fear... "Please... I swear... I'd never... hurt you..."

 

[CharlieBoyyy]

Part of me moves away. But I succumb after realising it was just a dream.


I bury my head into him and pant. My breathing heavy. Im sweating so much and can't think straight


"I know. I know. It. Was.. Just a dream." I brush away the terrified tear in my eye.

 

[DeadnotSleeping]

Nie wanted to scream when the boy instinctively moved away at first. He could barely bear the anguish, although he not even realized the physical pain...


He relieved a bit when his son finally drew close again. Mitchell was crying. He was afraid of him... the thought almost killed Nie.


A bad dream. A nightmare where he was a monster.


"I'm... so sorry..."


Nie could only whisper. Now he wished he would die. If he would have died before the commander made him admit his sins...


His arms had fallen down. He couldn't hug his son anymore. It hurt too much.

 

[CharlieBoyyy]

"No. It's not your fault". I try to control the sobs. "Just my stupid brain playing mean tricks on me to test my reactions. That all.. Yeah that's all. I don't think anything in my dream happened. I'm


Not scared of you. At all"


I felt so guilt ridden. I wish he'd never woke up Now I was going to have to build the relationship again.

 

[DeadnotSleeping]

"You... are right... to be afraid... of me..." Nie had to force out the words. All of them hurt, setting ablaze the fire again in his chest and back. "That man... was right... I am... a monster... just like him... maybe more so... but Mitchell... this particular... monster... loves you... and never... ever... would... hurt you... please... believe me... I cannot... do more... to prove it..."

 

[CharlieBoyyy]

"I do believe you. You have to believe me too. I love you so much , I know you wouldn't "


I slowly help the man back on his Bed


It was my stupid brain's fault he got up

 

[DeadnotSleeping]

Nie looked up, desperately trying to search for any signs that he was really forgiven. That Mitchell really didn't hate him.


It all hurt so much. The physical pain wasn't so bad, but those thoughts...


"I'm... so sorry... never wanted... to get into... your nightmares... how could I... do anything... how to... prove... you don't have to... be afraid... if me..."

 

[CharlieBoyyy]

"YOU DONT HAVE TO" I snapped bye was digging deeper. But I softened my voice quickly "please can we just forget about it ?"

 

[DeadnotSleeping]

It scared him. Nie jerked fom the sound. It was really dreadful... the dentist pulled back, frankly pained. He nodded, silently, lying without words.


He couldn't forget about it. He couldn't forgive himself the fear he sensed in his son's voice...


He felt like a monster again.

 

[CharlieBoyyy]

I felt angry at myself. How could I have even DREAMT of that


But it was just a dream. I meant nothing by it. Why should I feel guilty


"I'm sorry" I sigh. "I'm not scared though"


(Be back soon popping to the shops)

 

[DeadnotSleeping]

"It's... not... your fault..." talking was painful now. The dentist could barely move, red-hot pain moving and churning in his body, red dots changing into black before his eyes. He was too hasty... he might have hurt himself with getting up... still...


Nie hated himself for being a monster. Hated 'Johnny' for making him admit it, for telling his son what kind of monster he was, planting the fear and distrust so deeply into the boy that it would crop up in his dreams again... the pure, unadultered horror in Mitchell's voice... even thinking about it hurt more than the wounds. It hurt even more now as he looked at his son, face guilty and pained.


Nigel never killed a living, breathing human before. But now, if he could, he would chop that commander into tiny little pieces in his anger and pain...