We were doomed from the Start.(CLOSED)

[CharlieBoyyy]

"I don't give I shit if you're hungry or not!" I say with a smile knowing full well that I would be reprimanded.


"Soup, it's cold out it won't hurt when it does down you. You need the nutrition to help the infection, otherwise everything I've done will be for nothing."


I had him the open can of soup.


"Down the hatch. Oh, and these pills. Take them after. You're supposed to take the with food or your body won't digest them."

 

[DeadnotSleeping]

“…Language…” Nie was almost smiling, even if he hated when the boy swore. “First… bad words… then… the cigarettes… what’s next…? Sneaking… alcohol…? No… a good… boy… like you… won’t do it… right?”


This was almost peaceful. He didn’t even have the energy to scold his son, that’s true, but somehow, he felt better. He took the can from Mitchell with slight resignation, but his hand was shaking too much… he almost spilled the liquid.


“Give me… a few… minutes… then… I’ll… eat…” The dentist felt kind of ashamed, as he used the pillow for support. “Promise… won’t be… much… but… I’ll… eat… thank… thank you…”

 

[CharlieBoyyy]

"Hey, you think I'm bad you should see my brother" I chuckle.


Then I realise what he says about eating


"Thank you so much for eating... Anything is good enough for me. Just some nutrients, you now?"


I say back in the plastic guest chair

 

[DeadnotSleeping]

“Still hating… when you… swear… and smoke…” Nie closed his eyes for a moment. He was smiling, even if shaking. He really started to feel better. “Even if… you’re an adult… I still… want to… scold you… be thankful… that I don’t have… the energy… for that… you should be… still grounded… for earlier…


He stood by his word; when he felt his hand was steady enough, he lifted the can. He managed to drink a little of the soup without drizzling himself with the warm liquid. It was almost hilarious how proud he was. Like this was a victory.


“Sorry… will continue… in a moment…” he said, setting down the can again. His stomach was screaming that he was full already… he tried to supress the feeling. It wasn’t easy.

 

[CharlieBoyyy]

"I'm really proud of you." I decided to ignore the scolding. Dad was just being a father figure and meant nothing by it..


"Don't rush just take it nice and slow." I ease him holding his shaking hand and rub my thumb up and down on it."

 

[DeadnotSleeping]

“Sorry… I guess… I’m not really… accustomed of… being sick…” the dentist smiled. His son’s caress felt nice. Calming. Safe. “Strange… before the end… I think… I’ve… never even been… down with… a cold… and now…”


He sighed, a bit resentful. Still, he managed to regain enough willpower to try and drink from the soup again. The fact it was liquid made it easier somehow, but after a few dramps, he quickly put it down again. He really had to stuggle with keeping it down, but he was determined enough to actually try. Nie had enough from his own weakness.


“Sorry… I’ll… eat more… soon…”

 

[CharlieBoyyy]

"You're doing so so well"


I tried not to sound patronising. But this how the nurses sounded when I had my appendix out.


"you're colour is coming back". Noticing this made me so happy and excited. My face positively beamed when I said this. "You must be getting better. Well keep taking those anti biotic a, though "

 

[DeadnotSleeping]

“And you… suspiciously… sound like… me…” Nigel actually laughed, weakly, not with a real laughter, but relaxed nonetheless. He was feeling dizzy, and the soup tried to organize a rebellion in his body, but the pain started to crumble. He couldn’t drink more than a mouthful from the liquid, but even that felt like a small victory.


“I’ll… take those… now… sorry… cannot really… eat more… now… will you… accept a deal… about that?...” the joke was powerless, but he at least tried. He felt better, even if weak as a kitten. “If you… rest… and eat well… I’ll… do… just the same…”

 

[CharlieBoyyy]

I looked in the can and gave a mock face of contemplation. But I smiled quickly to reveal the joke.


"You've eaten half the can. That's more than I expected from you!" I handed him an anti biotic and his water.


"Now take this, and you'll right as rain soon, I promise!"


I give my father a loving smile. He was still weak that's for sure. But he was getting stronger a mile a minute.

 

[DeadnotSleeping]

Nie had to smile. This felt warm, really nice, and he really believed what his son told him. He took the pill, and although now he managed to spill a bit of water, he still felt better.


“So… will you… promise me… you’ll… rest, too?... What you did… demanded… a lot… I know… I’m… sorry… you had to… do that… but I think… you just…. saved my life… again…”


It felt good now. Really. The clouds slowly started to drift away from his mind.


“I’m really… really… thankful… for you…”

 

[CharlieBoyyy]

"Don't mention it". I wave my hand dismissively. "I wouldn't have it any other way"


I sit on the guest chair with a tin of corned beef and open it.


"I won't move from here for a bit, I promise. Promise promise promise"


I open the can. It was difficult. But it worked.


"I bloody love corned beef" I sigh because it was so delicious.

 

[DeadnotSleeping]

“You should… eat it all… then… And after that… take your… vitamins… please…”


Nie smiled. He didn’t try to move around much, so he cannot really see his son’s face, but he still could imagine the happiness he heard from Mitchell’s voice.


It felt good. Even with the shameful realization of how weak he was, this was still nice, and the almost maddening pain from before dispersed into a much more bearable ache. Even that was kind of dull. He couldn’t move, that was true, but Nie wanted to believe it was only a matter of time.


He wanted to believe they had a chance. He didn’t want to think about what would be next… he didn’t want to shatter the peace. He knew too well he will need quite a few days to heal enough, even after the treatment… it wasn’t a nice thought. Spending a long time at the same place still stroke him as dangerous.


He closed his eyes for a moment, relaxing his body. He tensed involuntarily, and it kind of felt painful… he really didn’t want that, not now. It was fleeing, he knew that well, but still…


“I still… want to… go to a… museum” he said, without really thinking, his mind wandering in strange ways now. “It would be… nice… to play among… the exhibits…”

 

[CharlieBoyyy]

"I'll take you one day" I devoured the corned beef can, cutting my mouth on the can ever so slightly.


I opened the backpack and take a vitamin and drink some more water. I sit back in the guest chair


"Happy?" I asked with a smile, I was taking care of myself. Just liked Dad ask. Just so he'd take care of himself too.

 

[DeadnotSleeping]

“Completely.. contented…” the dentist smiled, slowly starting to get sleepy. Watching Mitchell taking the pill without much of a fuss was really comforting. His son looked so determined. Somehow even stronger, than before.


It was a really satisfying thought.


“Your mom… will be proud…” Nie said, closing his eyes. He could see Joy so clearly now, holding their daughter, laughing… it felt real. “We’ll… just have to… find a way… to make your sister… eat… something else… than cotton candy…”


The thought was strange, but he couldn’t determine exactly why. He could distinctively remember though as his wife laughed, saying that Lily might only eat the candy now… and he knew this was more of a joke than a real problem. Something else was there, but he couldn’t really grasp it, so he set that aside, just resting a bit…

 

[CharlieBoyyy]

"Dad, I don't have a mum... Or a sister" I was confused by the whole thing. What did he mean?


"Do you mean your family from before this whole thing you happened"


I leant forward to listen to his stories.

 

[DeadnotSleeping]

Nie felt a bit confused now, looking at his son. Something was really not right, he couldn’t puzzle the pieces together. He remembered how wide was the boy’s smile when Lily fed him a bit of the candy, and how he stroked the baby girl’s hair…


“Don’t be… ridiculous… of course… you have… a mom… Joy sent you… back… for me… and you… were holding… Lily just now… you wanted… to make her a princess… in July… on her… third birthday…”

 

[CharlieBoyyy]

"Dad, I'm an orphan, remember. I have.. Had.. A brother named Darius. But he's in heaven now.. I... I don't know a joy. Or a Lily..."


I pain my face. This was upsetting for the man. I assumed his dreams were disguised as reality in his fevered mind.


"But it's ok." I rewet his forehead flannel on place it back on his head. "I'd have loved to have met them... These people "

 

[DeadnotSleeping]

…that couldn’t be right… Nie tried to think, his confused mind tried to sort out the shattered pieces with no avail. Mitchell was their son. Lily their daughter. Joy, his wife… his beautiful ebony lady…


He looked up to his son as the boy carefully placed the cooling cloth on his forehead, and then he realized what was off.


Oh… Joy was black. His own skin was caramel, from his mother’s Hispanic blood… they wouldn’t have a pale skinned son together… and he never had anyone else than Joy… he vaguely remembered that this was true, they weren’t actually related by blood, this was because…


…the reality hit, hard, and the dentist closed his eyes, trying to stop the tears in vain.


“You… cannot… I… cannot… Lily… wasn’t even born… Joy… you… you would have liked her so much…she was craving… cotton candy… always that… just that… pink… sweet… I brought it to her… to the car… when they were going… she told me… our daughter… only eats cotton candy… we should make her eat something else… she called me, told me ice cream is good, too… then… the list came…”

 

[CharlieBoyyy]

The reality of this whole thing hit hard. From what I could grasp, Nigel had a pregnant wife before this. The End had killed his pregnant wife. That was UNIMAGINABLE cruelty. All I could do was hold my adoptive Fathers hand and sigh. What a horrific fate.


"I'm so sorry life has put you through this sh..." I remembered the scolding for using bad language "stuff. It's not right. I hope one day the infection dies out. We'll all be able to live our life's properly again! I'm holding on to that hope, because otherwise I'd see no point in living." I sighed and looked out of the window at the desolate patch of land that probably used to be a nice well kept garden.

 

[DeadnotSleeping]

Nie smiled, a bit bitterly, as he noticed the last-minute word swap. Mitchell really cared... somehow, it soothed the sharp pain of the realization his dreams will only ever stay those - dreams and wishes.


He grasped his son's hand. Clinged into him. He wanted to laugh. It sounded weird.


"I'm so greedy... I really... want that... and I really... really... want... the rest... of... my family... back... too..." he closed his eyes again. He could see it so clearly. "This... horror... ought to... end... someday... human bodies... so strong... so fragile... they... should... deteriorate... I know... it has to end... soon... a few... years... kept me going... I... have never... hoped.... for... a new... family... after... all those sins... I've commited... you... still stayed... I'm... so grateful... so... I want... everything now... to stay... as well..."

 

[CharlieBoyyy]

"Everything WILL stay. It has too. The world was never meant to end like this. It CANT end like this. I won't let it." I say half heroically.


Stupid really, I mean, what was I going to do to stop it? Nothing. There's nothing I could do, I just had to work with what was thrown at me.


"I'm sorry if I'm the rebellious smoker, sweary son" I grimace "you wouldn't have brought me up this way"

 

[DeadnotSleeping]

"Might... have not..." Nie laughed, softly, less bitterly now. He kind of imagined how that would played out. "I... might have been... a bit too... overbearing... that way... to... maybe... too much... you... might have... turned out... rebellious... that way... too..."


It was nice to think about this now... not to the future. The bleak possibilities. Thinking about being a blood family was good...


"I guess you... would have... been... forced... to train... with us... everyday... Joy... would have... hassled you... about... vocabulary...."


He smiled.


"Love you... either way..."

 

[CharlieBoyyy]

"My Irish slurs wouldn't have developed." I laugh. This conversation really covered up this whole pain. It was nice to be engaged with a Nigel who was nearly fully with me as well.


"Nor would my insatiable love for Guiness." Oh god how I missed the boozy thick texture on my tongue.

 

[DeadnotSleeping]

"Definitely... not!... but... you... might have... learnt... very colourful... language... from... Ma Baker... and... Carsten... and... I suspect... mead... would have... been... a big... temptation... " Nie smiled. He still felt woozy, but this was nice. "I imagine... Joy... would loved... to dress you up... too... and teach you... Shakespearean... linguistics... everybody... they were... so kind... so nice..."


This thought had a bitter edge. It marred his content.


They were. They are not anymore... he unconsciously strengthened his grip, like he tried to assess that his son was still there...


It hurt so much...

 

[CharlieBoyyy]

"Did... Did they die". It was important to find out. I'd assumed they were dead, but by his now grimaced face, I figured something else had happened... Maybe...


I felt his weak boney hand try to squeeze mine. And fail. So I squeezed his hand "I'm here"