Fandom The Day The World Changed { The Last of Us 1x1 with icedthemoon }

[icedthemoon]

Hayden Gaines and Soren Truelson
Citizen of Seattle, FEDRA Officer | 24, 35 | Current location ;; Washington State

Hayden kissed his love lightly. Kissed his lips, his cheek, his jaw. He trailed down his neck to where the collar of Josh’s shirt stopped him. Another barrier in a world full of barriers. His eyes shut, and he saw the piles and piles of bodies. He drew in a breath and pulled away. Moved from where they lay together. Sat at the edge of the mattress, head in hands. Body after body after body. Too many bodies.

Soren did not wake up this morning expecting anything like today to happen but especially not suddenly being part of a family. He had no idea that this was what it was like. He had never really had a family before. Not a real one. Not one where everyone loved everyone and worried about their safety. Not one where they called each other and cried for each other and accepted their brother’s neighbor in like they knew him. “Thanks,” he replied as he finally finished with the chicken and placed them on a plate for easy pickings. “Gotta be back by six tomorrow morning. It’ll probably be another rough day.”
​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Joshua and Jacob Smith
FEDRA Officer, ER & Trauma Nurse | 24, 30 | Current location ;; Washington State

Josh shifted as he felt Hayden kiss him. Felt him his kiss his lips, cheek, jaw and then stopped at his shirt. He blinked when Hayden moved away, sat at the edge of the mattress. Josh moved so he sat beside him, arm over his shoulder. “Baby? What’s wrong. How can I help you?” He asked, concern in his voice. He didn’t like this. Didn’t like it at all and he wished he could fix it.

Jacob smiled, pulling the cover off the pan and set it on the table beside the chicken. “You’re welcome.” He said, putting a spoon in the pan and sighed as he grabbed plates for them. “Uh help yourself. I’m going to let everyone know foods done. I’ll be right back.” Jacob said, fingers twitching and he gave in a little, with a quick pat on Soren’s shoulder, he smiled. “Thanks for helping with dinner by the way.” He said before he stepped out into the living room. He told Lucas and Logan that food was ready, then made his way upstairs and knocked on the door to Josh’s old room. “Dinners done.” He said before making his way back into the kitchen to grab some food for himself.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Hayden Gaines and Soren Truelson
Citizen of Seattle, FEDRA Officer | 24, 35 | Current location ;; Washington State

Hayden didn’t know how to answer that. He didn’t know how to say that he could see everyone who died. Every last one of them including his dad. He didn’t say that he changed how his death looked every time he thought about it. He didn’t say that a large amount of time, it was Josh who killed him. He jumped at the knock, wiped the tears from his eyes he only just then realized were coming, and walked out the door. No words. Only open and left to join everyone else. It was easier to hide in crowds.

The feeling of the quick pat lingered on his shoulder as Jacob left. He stood there wondering how this could have happened so fast for a moment before moving to the table along with the living room crew and making a plate for himself. He didn’t know where to sit. Were they the kind of family with assigned spots? That was one of the many arguments when his family was together. They all had ideas of where they belonged. So, instead, he stood off to the side. He didn’t want to intrude. Hayden came down, as quiet as he’d been, and sat down. He filled a plate but only stared at it.
​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Joshua and Jacob Smith
FEDRA Officer, ER & Trauma Nurse | 24, 30 | Current location ;; Washington State

Josh sat beside Hayden in silence, watching and waiting. But silence filled the room, until the knock on the door made his partner jump. Josh frowned, sighed and watched him walk out the door. He followed shortly after, moving downstairs quietly and making a plate for himself. He took the seat beside Hayden, his leg brushing against his fiancé. He didn’t know what to do for him. So he just kept close.

Jacob sighed, making a plate and stood beside Soren, without even thinking about it. This was wrong. All wrong. Usually family dinners were loud, raucous, and crazy. But this was silent, and he hated it. They didn’t ever have specific seats, just naturally the parents sat together somewhere, the twins fought over the big couch and Josh just sat anywhere, even on the floor just to be beside Hayden. Jacob didn’t eat for a few minutes as his gaze swept over the quiet kitchen. Lucas and Logan were talking softly but barely eating. Josh took a few bites but otherwise seemed more concerned for Hayden. Jacob finally took a small bite of chicken, and slowly ate it. He didn’t know what to say. What to do. So he just slowly ate his food. And only ate half of what he’d put on his plate. ​

 

[icedthemoon]

Hayden Gaines and Soren Truelson
Citizen of Seattle, FEDRA Officer | 24, 35 | Current location ;; Washington State

The world was dark.
Silent.

But awake.

Hayden didn’t eat at all. Every time he moved his spoon in the potatoes, he saw the gore of the dead. Every time he lifted his fork, he was lifting flesh. He could see the blood dripping from it. He could feel Josh close. It was the only thing that kept him in reality. It was the only thing keeping him from falling into somewhere that wasn’t real. Not real. It wasn’t real. But it was. He saw it. He saw it every time. He raised his fork one last time - he needed to eat - but his fork was covered with the dripping of flesh and blood and sinew and-

Hayden dropped the fork and stood suddenly, scraping his chair on the floor as he scooted back. He gasped at the loud sound of his own creation. He didn’t looked out see if everyone was looking, but he was sure that they were. Then he left. He moved quickly out of the room, trying to catch his rapidly depleting breath, as he ran up the stairs and into the bathroom. He shut the door, raced to the toilet and threw up the nothing that was in his stomach. He heaved, and it hurt so much. He peered into the toilet and scrambled back as his eyes showed him the explosion of blood that wasn’t there. He rammed hard into the tub, limbs haphazardly falling every way. Panic. Hyperventilation. All of it.

Soren held his breath as Hayden disappeared. He managed to eat a couple of bites, but he felt weird about eating more than that when no one else was eating more. These people weren’t used to being in this kind of situation. He put his plate down and sighed. “I- uh, I’m sorry this is so hard for everyone.” He didn’t know what else to say.
​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Joshua and Jacob Smith
FEDRA Officer, ER & Trauma Nurse | 24, 30 | Current location ;; Washington State

Josh managed a few bites but his stomach started turning. He was worried about Hayden, and then he heard him drop his fork, scrape his chair on the floor and gasp. Josh froze for a moment, before he looked around and then bolted after Hayden. He heard footsteps on the stairs and then the bathroom door shut. Josh quickly walked up the stairs and opened the bathroom door shutting it behind him. What he saw when he came in was Hayden ramming himself into the tub. No. The fear and panic rose in his throat as he dropped to his knees in front of him. Hands went to his cheeks. “Hayden! Baby!? Talk to me please. Come on, come back to me. Breathe baby breathe.” Josh said, seeing him hyperventilating. He was so scared, and he had no idea how to help.

Jacob watched with an upset face as he saw Hayden leave, closely followed by Josh. He turned to look at Soren and without thinking placed a hand on his shoulder. “It’s not easy, but thank you. For getting us out of that hospital, and helping Josh and Hayden get here.” Jacob said, smiling a little. Lucas and Logan both looked up and nodded. “We may be broken, and quiet, but we appreciate what you could do for us. Even just helping Jacob with dinner.” Lucas told him.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Hayden Gaines and Soren Truelson
Citizen of Seattle, FEDRA Officer | 24, 35 | Current location ;; Washington State

Hayden couldn’t talk, because he couldn’t breathe. There weren’t even tears this time. He did not even have the luxury of crying. His chest hurt, and he felt like something inside it was squeezing everything in there so tight that it was ripping holes. Something blocked up his throat, stung inside his nostrils, and tore the drums of his ears. His hands trembled on their own, lost in a dry sea to drift away into nothingness until there was something tangible. He grasped at it, this something new he couldn’t see. He couldn’t see anything. He could barely hear the words. No, he heard them, but he could not process them. Jumbles of sounds and syllables smashed together like bodies piled on the floor in front of a broken door with sirens blaring all around them. His dad’s broken and bloodied face with a baseball bat dropped beside him. His mother and sister falling in an opening of streets or a chasm across plateaus, falling because arms and hands and fingers covered in someone’s blood. His limbs flailed almost wildly as he tried to grasp Josh in front of him. Throwing hands and arms that hit and smacked before finding a way to hook around him in a way that could pull them closer together so that finally he could cling to him, short breaths coming faster and faster.

Soren smiled at them all, giving a little nod towards Lucas as he placed his own hand on the one of Jacob’s on his shoulder. He didn’t think about it. It just happened. “Whatever I can do to help,” he responded. “I know it’s not much, but in times like this, we have to keep everyone together as much as we can. Thanks for, um, letting me part of everyone. For a little while.” It was so different being included like this. His eyes flickered the way the other two left. Hayden looked bad. Arguably, he was worse than he was this morning, and that was saying something. A part of him worried that perhaps this was something they needed to deal with in a different means. No, he couldn’t think that way. They needed at least a modicum of hope. So he didn’t say that out loud. He hoped none of them were thinking it. Even if that was the case, he didn’t need this family falling apart over it.
​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Joshua and Jacob Smith
FEDRA Officer, ER & Trauma Nurse | 24, 30 | Current location ;; Washington State

Josh felt the hands and arms hitting and smacking around before he felt Hayden hook them around him. He shifted so he could be pulled closer to him and he wrapped his arms around Hayden tight. "Shh.. I'm right here. I'm here. Come on baby, breathe for me. Deep breaths." Josh whispered, his head resting on Hayden's shoulder. He just clung to him, whispering softly and holding him close.

Jacob felt his heart flutter as he saw the smile on Soren and felt the hand over his. He didn't move his hand away from Soren's shoulder, he didn't want to. "You're welcome Soren. It's been rough, but we appreciate the help." Lucas told him, as he sighed and stood from his seat. Lucas started cleaning up the plates, clearing them off and taking them to the sink to wash them. Logan took care of the leftovers while Jacob didn't move a muscle. "Um. When you're done, I'll take you to the spare room." Jacob said, as he handed his plate to Lucas, he couldn't eat anymore.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Hayden Gaines and Soren Truelson
Citizen of Seattle, FEDRA Officer | 24, 35 | Current location ;; Washington State

Breathe. He could do that. He was doing that. He felt the air coming in and moving out over and over. He was breathing. He was breathing. Deep breaths. He didn’t know how. He couldn’t get his lungs or diaphragm or whatever was in charge to slow down long enough to do anything but exactly what it was doing. Deep. He tried to make it deeper. He tried so hard. They were ragged, breaths with edges that cut into the inside of his cheeks. Deep. Deeper. So deep down someone could reach out and grab him. His eyes shut as he shoved his entire face into Josh. Deep breaths. He was trying. He was trying. It was just so hard.

Soren gave another nod of gratitude towards Lucas as he began taking the dishes. He could have taken his own, and he wanted to do that, but also did not want to intrude if this was what they needed to do in order to keep moving forward. So he handed Lucas his plate as well with another thanks. And then they were alone in the room, hands together on his shoulder. It was like there was some kind of electricity there, and he was both uncomfortable but also enamored of it. “Okay.” He didn’t think he could sleep, but there was no where else to be. He nodded to Jacob, letting his hand fall away. It was then that he realized how much he was dreading when that hand on his shoulder was going to leave. Was this how it happened for everyone? In a matter of hours with someone you didn’t even know? This was the worst time to finally have this happen. They could all die tomorrow. They could die five minutes from now.
​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Joshua and Jacob Smith
FEDRA Officer, ER & Trauma Nurse | 24, 30 | Current location ;; Washington State

Josh felt Hayden shove his face into him, and he just held him. He started humming softly, rocking them back and forth as he held onto him. Josh kept his face close to Hayden's neck. He didn't know what else to do for his partner, so he just held him. Joshua was at a complete loss on what to do.

Jacob felt the hand on his still, the electric current running down his arm. He watched his father take the plate from Soren and then he felt the hand fall away from over his. Jacob didn't want to remove his hand from Soren's shoulder, didn't want to break that current. So he didn't. Because Jacob realized that he could die at any time, they all could. Jacob let his hand trail down Soren's arm to take his hand and smiled. "Right this way." He said, leading Soren out of the kitchen, up the stairs, passed the bathroom and Josh's old room, there were three doors, two on the right and one on the left. His room was the second door on the right, and the first door on the right was the spare room. He pushed open the spare room door and led him inside. "Here it is, it's nothing special but it should do just fine." Jacob said as he looked around the room. The bed was against the wall that his room shared, and Jacob's bed was on the other side of the same wall. The spare room had a bed, tv and dresser.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Hayden Gaines and Soren Truelson
Citizen of Seattle, FEDRA Officer | 24, 35 | Current location ;; Washington State

Deep breaths. He clung to the physical reminder that he was not alone, and working on these deep breaths. He tried to listen to the humming. Tried to let himself fall into the gentle rocking. Tried tried tried. Until finally it was working. His breaths were slower, longer, deeper, if not still horribly painful. His mind fell into seeing just the two of them again. He replayed memories of walking through halls together, talking at the back of classrooms, riding in Josh’s car, going to the aquarium. Hayden screamed and cheered as Josh ran at his track meet. He reached out a hand as Josh ran past, a moment he would never forget. That was before he knew the extent of their love. He stayed there, in that moment, clapping so hard his hands hurt as he watched his favorite person in the whole world win. His body calmed. He relaxed. He breathed.

It didn’t go. Soren didn’t want his hand to go, and Jacob didn’t take it back. A shiver he couldn’t understand trailed the fingers that moved down his arm like the rippling of a splash but without the splash. He let himself be lead by hand up those stairs and down a hall without words. The guest room was small but more than he expected to get today. He was ready for one of those uncomfortable cots that they were going to throw up and hope that it wasn’t right there in the middle of everything else. The fact that he was allowed to leave was actually shocking and probably meant that the higher ups were somewhere nice and peaceful for now. He was certain that they would not have this luxury again. “I think it is perfect. I can’t thank you guys enough for all of your hospitality.” He squeezed that hand that held his, a little smile creeping across his face. He didn’t look at the room anymore. He just looked at Jacob. Looked at him too long. He looked down, at his feet. His free hand rubbed at the back of his neck. “Um. Yeah.”
​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Joshua and Jacob Smith
FEDRA Officer, ER & Trauma Nurse | 24, 30 | Current location ;; Washington State

Josh heard the change in Hayden's breathing, felt his body calming. There he was.. and Josh didn't stop his humming and rocking. He kissed Hayden's neck, his shoulder before he nestled back into him again. "I'm right here. I'm here baby." Josh whispered as he held him tightly.

Jacob felt the hand he held squeeze his and he smiled, looking up at Soren, seeing him looking back. That little smile made Jacob's heart flip. "Of course. We're happy to have you." Jacob replied, noticing he kept looking at him until he looked down. No. Jacob shook his head. "Um.. so the bed is against my wall, and the walls are kind of thin, so if you need anything just knock on the wall okay?" Jacob asked, reluctantly pulling his hand away, fingers brushing fingers as he did. "So.. um. Thanks for everything you did today. I'm not sure if I'll see you in the morning.. but I hope to see you tomorrow night. I enjoyed having a hand in the kitchen.." Jacob said softly, biting his lip as he took a step towards the door. "Good night Soren. Try and get some sleep." Jacob's voice was soft as he walked to the door, and then out into the hallway, down to the final door on the right, opening it and stepping inside his old room with a heavy sigh.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Hayden Gaines and Soren Truelson
Citizen of Seattle, FEDRA Officer | 24, 35 | Current location ;; Washington State

Hayden had never thought of himself as anxious. He never thought of himself as someone who panics. He was kind of jumpy when it came to affection in front of other people, but that was due to a fear that society creates. Kyra had anxiety, and he never thought that he was anything like her. He was known for being kind of chill. Today, he had been anything but chill. Today, everything hit so much harder. Everything. “I can’t do this,” he whispered. “I can’t. I can’t do this.”

Soren didn’t know what to do or say. He didn’t know anything especially now. On a normal day, this would never happen. He would never be led around by some guy with this genuinely attractive personality and suddenly be afraid that if he lets go, Soren will be all alone. No one would ever have this kind of whirlwind romance. The idea almost made him laugh, because it sounded ridiculous. The whole this was ridiculous. Right? Was that just him? It had to be the circumstances. The everybody is dying around them with the threat of their imminent deaths looming over their heads. This was stress and fear. He met plenty of people in his life. He met ER nurses with cute glasses and a good sense of humor. What was so special about this one? But then he was gone, and Soren wasn’t sure what to do or how to feel about that. He stood there for a moment, staring at the space that used to have someone there. Eventually, he closed the door moved to the bed where he sat down and tried to take it all in. Other side of this wall. He looked at it like that would somehow bring them closer together.
​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Joshua and Jacob Smith
FEDRA Officer, ER & Trauma Nurse | 24, 30 | Current location ;; Washington State

Josh didn't know how long they'd been there, but he didn't care. He held Hayden before he heard him. Josh moved his head enough so he could look down at him. "You can do this. You can, and you aren't alone. I'm here, right here." Josh said, squeezing a little in their hug. He knew today was rough, but he didn't know how bad it had effected his partner.

Jacob looked at his room, back at the door and sighed. He shut the door and walked over to the bed, pressing a hand to the wall that separated them. Jacob had met so many people working in the ER, and even had a few flirt with him even if he didn't like them. But he'd never experienced the feelings he did around Soren. Jacob's fingers curled into a fist, wondering if he knocked would Soren come in? He didn't know. And he dropped his hand into his lap. Jacob pulled off his scrubs and slipped on a pair of shorts and a shirt, set his glasses on the nightstand and laid on the bed, head close to the wall. He didn't know what this was, but all he really knew was that he hoped Soren would be back again tomorrow night. Jacob closed his eyes, hoping to get some sleep.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Hayden Gaines and Soren Truelson
Citizen of Seattle, FEDRA Officer | 24, 35 | Current location ;; Washington State

He was already shaking his head before Josh was finished talking. “I can’t,” he repeated. Now that he was out, the memory of such a good day disappeared and the smatterings of the bad came back. Closing his eyes didn’t make them stop. It made them worse. He stared behind Josh at cabinets. Cabinets should be safe. “You can. You can do anything. But I can’t. I can’t do this.” Hayden truly believed that. He really believed that Josh could do anything. He was so capable and determined. If he wanted to save the world, he was going to find a way. But not Hayden. He wasn’t meant for this. He wasn’t meant for this kind of place.

Soren sat there on the bed for a while before taking off his boots and thick socks. He didn’t really have any other clothes to sleep in, but these were covered in the gore of everyone on the wrong end of an infection. He stripped off his shirt and pants leaving him just in his boxers. He thought about his day. He thought about how everything changed so quickly. He laid down on the bed and stared at the dark ceiling for a while. He wasn’t sure how long. His mind kept going back to Jacob and every time they touched. Several times, he thought about the wall and his words. He placed a hand on it. Fingers extended. He wondered if Jacob was asleep. He wanted to knock so badly, but it made him so nervous to do it. He didn’t understand it. He didn’t know why he wanted to do it so bad if he didn’t. And then finally he knocked. He knocked lightly just in case. “Uh, hey. Are you awake?”
​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Joshua and Jacob Smith
FEDRA Officer, ER & Trauma Nurse | 24, 30 | Current location ;; Washington State

Josh heard him and sighed softly, rubbing his back. "I can't do anything without you. You make me brave, everything I do, it's because I know I've got you behind me. Ever since we first met." Josh told him, rocking him still. "You're braver than you think baby." Josh added, holding him closely. "Let's lay down and I'll scare away everything for you, okay? Nothing will get past me, not even things that I can't see."

Jacob had closed his eyes as he tried to sleep. Flashes of snarls, screeches and screams of people echoed in his dreams. He woke in a hallway, in the hospital. He walked towards the door at the end, and pushed it open. His mom was sitting on the bed, a hole in her head and her veins protruding like when he'd noticed her infection. "M- Mom.." Jacob whispered, not knowing that he was speaking in his sleep. She looked at him, her normal smile getting twisted and warped, before she lunged at him, knocking him over as he screamed. "No!" He managed to get out as he heard a light knock and his eyes flew open. Breathing hard, sweat on his forehead, he turned on his side as he tried to calm down. Words filtered through the wall as Jacob hit his hand against the wall. "Y- Yeah." He managed to get out as he wiped tears away that just got replaced with more tears as he came down from the nightmare.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Hayden Gaines and Soren Truelson
Citizen of Seattle, FEDRA Officer | 24, 35 | Current location ;; Washington State

I’m not. I’m not brave. I have never been brave. Brave Hayden from earlier was just Terrified Hayden behind a mask. He was always so scared, and it didn’t occur to him that he spent so much of his life a little bit afraid. Even when things were perfect, the potential for that perfection to go away was always looming over him. But when he had Josh, it was like all those fears went away. Josh saved him. “Okay.” He nodded feebly and tried to stand, but he wasn’t going to be able to move on his own. Not even things he couldn’t see. Like the bodies that haunted Hayden. Like the blood that fell from everywhere. Could Josh really save him from that?

The thin walls were just enough for the muffled sound of something that could have been a yell or a muttered something to come through as he knocked. He wasn’t sure what it was but maybe it was Jacob talking in his sleep? He wasn’t sure. When Jacob did answer, he sounded off. Had he been dreaming? “Are- are you okay?” He didn’t like the idea of Jacob being haunted by something like that. Was it like Hayden? Everyone could see how badly he was handling everything. Was it bad to be alone? Soren didn’t want to overstep. “Do you-“ need something? What would he give? He shut his mouth, unsure how to finish. “Are you okay?” He asked again.
​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Joshua and Jacob Smith
FEDRA Officer, ER & Trauma Nurse | 24, 30 | Current location ;; Washington State

Josh heard him, and he helped him stand. Holding him tight, close. Then he decided it wasn't enough. Josh picked Hayden up, holding him close as he brought them to the door and opened it. "I've got you baby." Josh said, walking him down the hall to his room, opening the door and gently shutting it behind him with his foot. He moved to the bed, setting Hayden down before he crawled in beside him. "I'm right here." He said, wrapping arms around him to hold him, protect him, save him.

Jacob heard Soren's words, and swallowed hard. He tried to calm his voice down, but he was scared, upset and if he was being honest, didn't want to be alone. Jacob kept his hand on the wall, like he could push through it. "No.. I- I'm not." He said at first, before he swallowed his nerves and breathed. What was the worst that could happen. "I- I don't want to be alone.. C- Can I.." He paused his words, unsure and afraid of ruining whatever this was between them. "C- Can I come to you?"​

 

[icedthemoon]

Hayden Gaines and Soren Truelson
Citizen of Seattle, FEDRA Officer | 24, 35 | Current location ;; Washington State

Hayden held on tight as Josh picked him up. He had been picked up so many times lately. So many times today. He was so incapable, and he didn’t understand why. How could Josh be so strong all the time. He never seemed afraid. He never seemed unsure. He always did exactly what he was supposed to do. On the bed, wrapped in the most protective arms, he stared out at dark walls that were better than the darker visions in his mind. “Don’t go.” Stay with me. It was a plea that he didn’t understand. It could have meant so many things, and it did. It meant every single one of them. He was so scared to be alone.

Soren sucked in a deep breath as Jacob spoke. He certainly didn’t sound okay, but hearing him admit that was even worse. That always made the bad stuff real. He was already on edge, but now he was ready to get up and move. He didn’t know what he could do to help, but what if he could? Was he about to let Jacob suffer because it might be weird? Don’t want to be alone. Neither did Soren. He really didn’t want to. He had been alone his whole life, and for the first time ever, he spent a whole day being part of family. He was already sitting up, casting aside the blanket. Come to him? That made him pause. His hand still touched the wall, and part of him thought he could feel Jacob doing the same. Jacob who was upset or afraid or something. Jacob who had been through a lot already. He watched his mother die in too many ways. He did not know how hard it would be for him to move. But Soren could move quickly. He was already up. “No, I’ll come to you. Don’t move. I’ll be right there.” And without waiting for an answer, he was up and all but running out his own door and to the next room over. He hesitated for only a second, because it seemed kind of wrong to open someone else’s door like this. Then he remembered that he murdered his neighbors this morning, so maybe right and wrong didn’t matter so much anymore. He opened the door with a “Hey,” to make sure Jacob knew he was there. He slid it closed and slower now walked towards the bed. “What happened?” He sat on the edge, unsure now that he did the impulsive thing.
​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Joshua and Jacob Smith
FEDRA Officer, ER & Trauma Nurse | 24, 30 | Current location ;; Washington State

Josh heard his words, heard how it sounded like a plea, but Josh couldn't say that he won't go anywhere. He had to. In the morning. He'd leave with Soren. "I won't go anywhere tonight." Josh told him. It was the only thing he could say with confidence. But he tightened his hold on Hayden anyway.

Jacob was wiping his eyes again as he heard Soren, and he didn't have an answer. For the first time he didn't have a word to say. Jacob's eyes drew to the open door, but without his glasses, he couldn't see as well. The door was blurry and so was the figure but he knew who it was. Knew that voice and a soft sniffle slipped out. "H- Hi." Jacob whispered, seeing him sitting on the edge of the bed. "I- I had a nightmare.. I saw m- my mom turning again, and attacked m- me." Jacob said quietly, shifting himself into a sitting position and scooched so he was beside Soren, their shoulders brushing. "I- I was so s- scared." Jacob admitted, hands in his lap as he sniffed again, hands twisting together as he sat there, tears slipping down his cheeks.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Hayden Gaines and Soren Truelson
Citizen of Seattle, FEDRA Officer | 24, 35 | Current location ;; Washington State

That would have to be good enough for tonight. It would have to be, because he already knew that there were no other options. They were going to go. Him and Soren both were going to leave everyone alone. They were going to have to leave in a few hours. He didn’t know how long, but he was sure it was not long enough. It was dark when they returned, so there were only so many hours before the light came back. He curled into Josh, refusing to cry anymore than he already had, and hid from the world, because it was so scary. Too scary. Nightmares were supposed to be dreams. They weren’t supposed to be realities.

Soren didn’t think about his highly indecent self until they were sitting next to each other, and he was looking down at Jacob’s twisting hands. He really did just run over to Jacob’s bedroom in nothing but his boxers, because he was afraid for him. Was that more or less awkward than coming to comfort him in the clothes that had the stains of the dead? After the description of the nightmare, though, he thought maybe his accidental choice to be indecent was the better option after all. He put a hand on Jacob’s leg, lightly squeezing it as he listened. “I’m so sorry.” Was that how it happened at the hospital? She turned with him there? That had to be horrible. He could not imagine watching someone like that suddenly become a monster. Suddenly try to kill him. He thought the neighbors were bad enough. The hand on his leg did not feel like it was enough. He twisted to the side so he could look at him better, which was admittedly difficult in the darkness. He wished he could do something, so he slid his hand to Jacob’s and wove his fingers between his.
​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Joshua and Jacob Smith
FEDRA Officer, ER & Trauma Nurse | 24, 30 | Current location ;; Washington State

Josh held onto Hayden, eyes closing as he knew he needed to try and sleep. Flashes of the basement flew through his mind, and he pushed them away. He had to. Josh curled around Hayden as much as he could, as tightly as he could as he slept. He was afraid he'd never make it back, never get back to him. But he was going to, he was determined to.

Jacob felt the hand on his leg, the light squeeze and his gaze flicked over to Soren. He could still remember cleaning her up, wiping the blood from her face, pulling the metal from her side. And then she.. turned. She went after him. The inhuman screech from her was ringing in his ears again. He felt Soren slide his hand to his own and their fingers wove together. Jacob pushed out a rough sigh, squeezed that hand and dropped his head onto Soren's shoulder. "Please.. I know it's a lot to ask but can you.. maybe stay with me tonight..?" Jacob's voice was timid, hoarse and yes, a little broken. So different from how he used to be, back before the world changed.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Hayden Gaines and Soren Truelson
Citizen of Seattle, FEDRA Officer | 24, 35 | Current location ;; Washington State

It took too long for him to fall asleep, but it was still easier than it would have been alone. The fear of losing Josh tomorrow loomed over him like how the fear of losing him all day held him down. It was the heavy chain that kept him sitting in the one chair for hours. Fear. Pain. Suffering. Eventually he fell asleep just to be wracked with the kinds of dreams that put average nightmares to shame. Visions of things that if he were to speak them out loud, he may not ever be able to see anything else again. It wasn’t but an hour later before he was screaming.

Soren’s chest rose and fell far more than he thought it should given that Jacob was the one with the memory induced nightmare that just happened. While Jacob sounded so small and frail, a shell of that fun confidence he got to see in snapshot earlier, Soren was acting like his heart was going to explode because he was so close and intimate with someone he really shouldn’t be. Right? You know what? The world changed. Everything as they knew it broke apart. Who cared about shoulds and shouldn’ts? Not him. Not anymore. This was why he went to Jacob. How could he ask someone who was going through this to uproot himself and come to him? He couldn’t. He moved off the bed, because he didn’t think he could do this sitting beside him, and wrapped his free arm all the way around him while keeping their clasped hands together. “Whatever you need,” he said in a volume slightly louder than a whisper.
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[EquineGurl23]

Joshua and Jacob Smith
FEDRA Officer, ER & Trauma Nurse | 24, 30 | Current location ;; Washington State

Josh jolted awake when he heard Hayden screaming, instantly he moved just enough so he could look at him. "Hayden.. Baby.. Hey. Hayden.. Honey. I'm right here. Come on.. shh. It's okay. I'm here." Josh whispered, kissing the top of his head and rubbing his back. He didn't know what else to do.

Jacob was looking out into his room, thinking about what he just asked. Worried he'd broken whatever this was that he was trying to build. The world was busted, broken, changed. He felt Soren move off the bed and he let out a soft whimper before he felt the arm wrapped all the way around him. Their hands still clasped together. Jacob's heart was pounding against his chest as he curled into the arm. "C- Can we um.. lay down?" He whispered, his body was worn out, he was so tired and exhausted but he was also scared of closing his eyes again. Of seeing her in his sleep again.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Hayden Gaines and Soren Truelson
Citizen of Seattle, FEDRA Officer | 24, 35 | Current location ;; Washington State

Hayden was yanked out of his fitful sleep or fitful waking or wherever he was stuck by Josh’s sudden movements and the rubbing and the words. He breathed like he had been running for his life, and that was not necessarily false. Much like in the bathroom, he flailed until he was aware enough to realize that he already had Josh. They were in for a long, long night if this was going to be how it was.

“Yeah. Yeah, we can do that.” As weird as it should have been, he was over it feeling weird. He was over being awkward. High school him could cringe all he wanted, but it didn’t matter. He stayed there another moment longer before letting his arm fall away and climbing onto the bed, their hands still together, and waiting for Jacob to join him to actually lay down. He wasn’t sure where to go, but he would figure it out. They could figure it out together. That he kind of liked. He liked this together idea. “Do you want to go to sleep?” He would stay up with him if he was too afraid. Or at least too afraid for now.
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