Fandom Tale of Two Survivors { The Last of Us 1x1 with icedthemoon }

[EquineGurl23]

Alexander Brennan
Former Seraphite | 19 | Current location ;; Washington

Alex grabbed a few keys and used the on each one until he popped the door open. He pulled it open and he went to Grant’s side. The man was skinny, beat and had old cuts. His eyes widened as Alex unchained him and then he wrapped him in a hug. “I’m so sorry Grant.” He whispered as the older man just curled into his chest. A moment later, he pulled away and helped him stand up. “You wait right here, I’ll be back.” And so he continued on and then he froze. Alex looked at the brown haired woman, and she looked at him. “A- Alex.. you came back?” Her words were soft as Alex popped open her cage and undid her chains. And then arms wrapped around him. “I know why you left. But I missed you.” Juliet whispered as she held onto Alex. “I didn’t want to leave but I couldn’t stay.” He replied, and a moment later they broke apart. He led her out of the cage and over to Nate. “Juliet, this is my partner Nate. Nate, this is my sister Juliet.”​

 

[icedthemoon]

Nathaniel Matthews
Former Firefly| 21 | Current location ;; Washington

Despite how emaciated and broken Juliet looked, Alex could see the resemblance between her and her brother. It was deeper than scars on a face. When Alex introduced them, Nate gently wrapped his arms around her frail body. “I am so glad that you are okay.” He stayed there for a moment before heading over to Grant who he did the same thing to. “I appreciate what you did for him.” Because these people meant the world to Alex, and therefore, they meant the world to Nate. They were part of who Alex was. Without them, Alex would not be the person Nate knew so well.

“What uh-about the rest of ussss?” Asked the frail woman in another cage that Nate promised to come back for. She coughed out the words. “Do we g-get the uh-um f-family treatment toooo?” Nate smiled and moved to the cage. “Of course. You are all our family.” As it opened, the woman narrowed her sunken eyes. “You aren’t one of us.” Her hand gently touched Nate’s face. Nate only smiled. “Appearances don’t make a family.” He helped her up before moving to the next. They had a lot of cages and rooms to get through.
​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Alexander Brennan
Former Seraphite | 19 | Current location ;; Washington

Juliet looked at Nate for a moment and then a smile crossed her face as he hugged her. She was thankful Alex had found someone. She had seen how unhappy he’d been with their group. “Thank you. For giving him his spark.” She whispered before Nate walked over to Grant. Alex watched as Nate went to Grant, his eyes shiny with tears. He couldn’t believe that Nate was so willing to help and call these people his family. He continued searching cells, unlocking cages and chains. There was another floor but it was getting late. “Juliet. I need you to help them get home. But don’t go to the main part of the island. The WLF are raiding. Go to the back side and once they leave, you can return. Here.” He handed her the pack and the keys. “I love you.” Alex told her and hugged her again. Then he turned to Nate and sighed. “We should get moving before the WLF get back as well.”​

 

[icedthemoon]

Nathaniel Matthews
Former Firefly| 21 | Current location ;; Washington

The longer they took opening the cages and cells, the harder the rain got and the darker the world became. If they were going to leave, now was the time even if the weather was going to make it difficult. Nate moved to Juliet as she took her pack, and he wrapped his arms around her again. “Keep them safe. I am sorry that we can’t do more, but I have to get your brother out of here.” He turned to Alex and bit his bottom lip. “I should have never brought him back.” He stepped away and placed a hand on each person as he walked passed them. The ones who needed more, he gave them hugs. He spoke to each quietly and just for them. He finally made his way back to Alex and placed his hand in Alex’s and kissed his temple. “I’m not sure how to get out of here. Do you think you know enough about this city to get us somewhere safe for the night?”
​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Alexander Brennan
Former Seraphite | 19 | Current location ;; Washington

Juliet looked at Nate, smiling softly as he hugged her. She hugged him back and sighed, glancing at Alex. “You did the best you could. Take care of him.” Juliet told him, watching Nate walk away. Alex didn’t know how much it really hurt when he’d walked away that day. But seeing Juliet and being able to say goodbye, it soothed something inside Alex he didn’t know he needed. He watched Nate come towards him, a smile on his face. He noticed the hands on people, the hugs, and he smiled warmly at the hand in his and the kiss to his temple. “Follow me. I’ll find us somewhere safe.” Alex told him, turning and leading them out. He walked in the nasty weather like it didn’t matter. He was used to it. The rain pelted on him, the thunder rumbled in the sky and lightning flashed. He kept going until he found the seraphite encampment. The one near the sky bridge. They had apartments they used and he pushed open a door covered in vines. “There are apartments here we can stay in. Until we get out of the city tomorrow.” He said, walking past the wooden stairs that led up to the bridge, past the altar of Her, and down the hall to the first door and opened it up, allowing Nate to enter first. This was well used and he had no worry of infected around.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Nathaniel Matthews
Former Firefly| 21 | Current location ;; Washington

Nate gave one last wave to everyone they were leaving behind before following after Alex closely. He too did not have a hood, so the rain was going to have to pelt him down. The weather’s unforgiving harassment was nothing as bad as what it could be. He could only imagine what all those people had to go through. It was hard enough to imagine that Alex went through that for a few hours. They went through that so much more. It hurt Nate’s heart. It justified his actions against these people. He stayed as close as possible. Five feet was too much, especially in areas so wildly unknown. He traveled through cities all the time, came across different groups throughout the years, but these felt so different. He never met anyone like either of these groups. He lingered at the altar for just a moment before quickly joining Alex again. “Is that her? The one you were talking about?” Feel her love. Even as he asked, he was dropping his pack and taking away Alex’s. He did not know how badly hurt he was, but Nate was going to address these injuries that were his fault before they slept. It was only right. Only fair.
​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Alexander Brennan
Former Seraphite | 19 | Current location ;; Washington

Alex glanced at Nate when he spoke and nodded. “That’s her.” Alex replied as he felt Nate take his pack away. His jacket was soaked, he was cold, and even he didn’t know the extent of the wounds under his clothes. Alex pulled off his jacket and draped it over a piece of furniture in the apartment. They kept these ones clean, or as clean as they could. He shut and locked the door before turning to Nate. “That.. I’m sorry you had to do that. That acting.” Alex said, walking over to Nate. He knew that his partner would want to see the damage caused by the wolves. So he sat down on the floor and pulled off his shirt. Cuts, bruises and scrapes littered his body, dried blood was everywhere as some cuts had bled for a little longer than others.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Nathaniel Matthews
Former Firefly| 21 | Current location ;; Washington

At another time, Nate might have asked more about this woman who seemed so important to this group of people. He was curious, and he wanted to know more about them. His curiosity was outweighed by his concern for his partner. He tore away his own soaking jacket and the outer layer of his shirts so that he was dryer. There was not much else he could do for the rest of him. He crouched down on the floor as his face fell in looking at the wounds. They were all over his body. “No.” This was what Nate did to him. He brought Alex back to these people. He never should have been so stubbornly searching for this that he ignored all the signs. “I am sorry. I shouldn’t-“ He swallowed the pain that crawled up his throat and seeped from his ears. He opened his pack and pulled out his medical supplies to slowly start to clean the wounds before beginning what little repairs he could do At least he did not kill Alex like the rest of them. His hands trembled for the first time when working on someone who required his aid. How could he have been so naive? How could he have been so callous. Each of these cuts were ones he did. He felt them like he held the tools.
​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Alexander Brennan
Former Seraphite | 19 | Current location ;; Washington

Alex knew somehow that Nate was blaming himself. He knew it, deep down. He couldn’t do much until he was cleaned up and disinfected. “Don’t blame yourself. It’s over now, time to find a place for us. Our farmhouse. Somewhere.” Alex told him. He hissed in pain as he felt Nate begin to clean the wounds on his body. He could say more, do more, but not right now. His teeth clenched together as he sat there. Occasionally he’d let out a grunt of pain as his multiple wounds were taken care of.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Nathaniel Matthews
Former Firefly| 21 | Current location ;; Washington

It was hard being someone who would push around a guy for the scars on his face. It was hard to pretend to be the kind of person who was okay with the treatment of people in apartments that were just torture chambers. It was hard. But he walked in without much effort. He was treated fairly. He was fine. How was that okay? It wasn’t. As he cleaned away the dried blood and the dirt, as he disinfected the wounds, as he began to cover and wrap as much as he could, Nate fell deeper into his inner spiral of incapability. He had to reset one of the wraps, because his hands weren’t steady enough the first time. He clenched his jaw closed to keep from letting out the traitorous air that would give away just how much he knew he couldn’t do this. Because this was another thing he did wrong.
​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Alexander Brennan
Former Seraphite | 19 | Current location ;; Washington

Something was wrong with his Nate. Something was off, he knew it when the wrap had to be reset. He didn’t even know how to fix what was wrong. How could he? How could he fix this? The short answer was he couldn’t, he couldn’t fix it. There was no fix for this. There would never be a fix. And so Alex sat patiently, teeth clenched as he waited for Nate. Waited to be told he was done. Waited to hold his person in his arms and tell him.. what? What could he say? Sorry? Don’t blame yourself? In the end, there are no words. Alex had to show that he still believed in Nate, still trusted him, still loved him and knew he could do anything. That sure, this hadn’t gone the way they expected but they were both still alive, still together, and he knew that out there, there was a farmhouse waiting for them.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Nathaniel Matthews
Former Firefly| 21 | Current location ;; Washington

Nate counted every cut and every bruise. In his head, he counted every person they got out of cages and cells just to leave and fend for themselves. He counted each person he killed not only today but as far back as he could remember. He counted how many of his friends and family and acquaintances and people died. He counted how many died that he could have saved. But maybe he couldn’t, and not because it was an impossible task. Every time someone told him there was nothing he could do was just a lie to make him feel better for not having been fast enough and strong enough. Not being good enough. It was hard to act like someone who didn’t maintain life. It was harder to realize that he was the person who couldn’t. Every cut and bruise reminded him as he patched Alex’s back and then his chest. As he worked on shoulders and arms. How were his legs? They were hidden beneath layers he could only hope the rest ignored. His hands dropped hard into his own legs. He was done. What more could he do? How could he heal the wounds he dealt with the scars. He made Alex the thing he hated being the most.
​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Alexander Brennan
Former Seraphite | 19 | Current location ;; Washington

Alex heard Nate’s hands drop hard into his lap and he knew he was done. He got up and moved so he was on his knees in front of Nate. “Baby.. talk to me. Don’t say you’re fine because I know you aren’t.” Alex told him as he placed both hands on his shoulders. Then he decided it wasn’t enough and he wrapped his arms around Nate and pulled him to his chest. “You did everything you could, you got them out, you saved my sister and my mentor. My people. You did good.” Alex told him, holding him close, in a tight hug.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Nathaniel Matthews
Former Firefly| 21 | Current location ;; Washington

He tried to shy away from him, but Alex held him too tight for him to go. “Did I?” His voice croaked from how far down it had to travel in order to be heard. “It doesn’t feel like I did.” He did not reciprocate the hug. He just sat there, arms limp beside him. If he pulled them up, would he hurt Alex? There were so many injuries. He would touch one of them. “Saving a handful of people doesn’t negate everyone who died for me.” Two rights did not overpower the one wrong. But what about when there were so many wrongs? Everything he could. So all he could do was let them go. What kind of medic was that? All he could do was slice a throat and watch them fall. Body after body after body. He would not cry anymore. So he didn’t. He built a wall between him and the world. What did optimism do for him? Nothing but break them. It could stay on the other side. What did realism do? Only show them how bad it was. It could stay away too. He didn’t want any of it. He didn’t want to hurt anymore as selfish as that was. He blotted out the windows that showed the faces of everyone lost around him. People whose blood stained his soul.
​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Alexander Brennan
Former Seraphite | 19 | Current location ;; Washington

His heart dropped when he heard him, when he noticed that he tried to shy away. When he didn’t hug back. Alex was heartbroken, he didn’t know what to do. This was not something he knew how to handle. If Carlos was here, he’d say something silly, something out there and it might help. But he wasn’t here. It was Alex. On his own. He pulled away, arms dropping to his side. “You did good. They’d be proud of you. I’m sure. Now come on Medicine Man. Can you at least look at me?” Alex’s voice was broken, and his heart and soul hurt more than any of the cuts and bruises on his body.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Nathaniel Matthews
Former Firefly| 21 | Current location ;; Washington

Body after body after body. “Would they?” How could anyone be proud of that? How could anyone be proud of who he had become? “Maybe they would be proud of you.” The body that walked away from the atrocities he suffered. Maybe they would be proud of him too. Ex military man and his explosion loving partner. Soldiers. Soldiers who loved him but soldiers nonetheless. His mama the scout was still a soldier first. He was surrounded by them. Body after body after body after body. Nate shrank into himself both mentally and physically. Surrounded by the bodies. He pulled his legs up to his chest and let his limp arms slide around them. He did not even bury his face. He just let it sit there on his knees. “You shouldn’t be proud of me.”
​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Alexander Brennan
Former Seraphite | 19 | Current location ;; Washington

Alex heard him, and if it was possible, his heart broke more. “They would. I know they would.” Alex replied, and then his eyes widened as he saw Nate pull his legs to his chest and wrap his arms around himself. Alex swallowed hard, he was so lost. He bit his lip, and sat beside Nate, wrapping an arm around his shoulder and just sat there. “I am proud of you. No matter what you say. I will always be proud of you. Baby, I love you and I know this wasn’t easy for you, not at all. And I’m right here for you. Cry, scream, yell, or just sit there.” Alex told him, leaning over and kissing the top of his head. Alex sat there beside him, he didn’t know what else to do. “I don’t know the answers, I don’t know how to help you, but I’m here for you. I’ll always be here for you. And nothing will ever change that.”​

 

[icedthemoon]

Nathaniel Matthews
Former Firefly| 21 | Current location ;; Washington

Why? He wanted to beg him for that answer but it wouldn’t be any different than he already got. He saved some people. He did a good job. So proud of the little bit of good he could do in the middle of all that bad. The worst part wasn’t even that he killed some people. The worst part was that he didn’t care when he did it. He wanted some of them to die. He didn’t even think about some of them. Who did that make him then? Was he any better than the people that stole away Alex to torture because of the scars on his face? He wasn’t wearing their clothes. He wasn’t acting like any of them. He came in peace. what if some of the others did too but Nate didn’t give them a chance to explain that?

Despite the judgment he knew was better, he fell into Alex’s touch this time. He wanted to run. He wanted to open that door and leave because all he was doing was bringing down the world around him, and anyone unlucky enough to be there was going to get caught. But it was so scary outside, and Alex was warm despite having been soaking wet a little bit ago. He warmed everything inside, and the wall dissolved beneath it. He tried to keep it there, but it wasn’t strong enough to hold everything anymore. “I don’t know how to be me,” he said in such a small voice he wasn’t sure if Alex could hear him. “I don’t even know who I am.”
​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Alexander Brennan
Former Seraphite | 19 | Current location ;; Washington

Alex felt Nate fall into his touch, and he held him. He heard that small voice, barely, but he did. “You are Nathaniel Matthews, a smart, wonderful, sweet, handsome man who knows more about the old world than I ever will, who knows how to give the best massages, who knows medicine and how to heal people. You amaze me with your ability to be caring, and kind, and how you are able to show mercy to those that deserve it.” Alex finally stopped his words as he paused to kiss the top of Nate’s head. “I know today was hard, really really hard. And I’m sorry you had to deal with them. How you had to see what my people have to deal with. How you had to treat me. And tomorrow we will leave this place behind and find somewhere to go, find a farmhouse just for us.”​

 

[icedthemoon]

Nathaniel Matthews
Former Firefly| 21 | Current location ;; Washington

With every word and compliment that came from Alex, the more that wall broke down. The more the wall fell, the more he could feel the rush of all of that emotion he was trying to ignore coming. It was going to come whether he wanted it or not. It was already there but around the corner. But he would not cry. He would not cry. He tried to shake his head but that only made the tears come anyway. It was like he shook them out. When he opened his mouth to try to refute what he was saying, but instead he just cried. And he cried. His limbs collapsed but not before he could twist around and collapse into Alex. Everything fell into him because he could not do anything other than that. He did not deserve Alex.
​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Alexander Brennan
Former Seraphite | 19 | Current location ;; Washington

Alex didn’t know what his words would do, but the moment Nate turned and collapsed into him, he wrapped both arms around him. He pulled him as close as he could, one hand rubbing his back and the other behind his head. “Shh. Let it all out. I’m right here.” Alex said quietly, nestling his head on the top of Nate’s. He’d stay there forever if that was what it took. He was there for Nate and right now, all the emotions he was feeling about what he’d gone through today had been buried deep. Hidden away. He’d deal with them later, for now he cared more about his partners feelings. So he started humming and rocked them a little as he did. He just had to hope it would be helpful.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Nathaniel Matthews
Former Firefly| 21 | Current location ;; Washington

He cried for so long. He had done nothing but cry for what felt like so long. He cried and cried and when he thought he was done crying, he cried some more. Eventually, listening to the hum and letting the gentle rocking motions center him. Ground him. The humming reminded him of when he was so upset before and Alex sang to him. When he became his light. He slowly began to breathe normally again. Slowly. Eventually. Gradually. He was so tired. This kind of emotionally break was exhausting. Shoving everything else aside was exhausting. Acting- was it acting if he kept going until they were done completely? He breathed through his mouth because his nose was clogged with everything gross inside of him that wanted to be out. His eyes were shoved as he kept his head against Alex’s chest. Touching wounds that would become scars. His fingers regained control first, and in his quiet, they began to move in concentric circles. Then they followed the line of cuts. Not on them just around. Gentle touches. The touches of a medic. A once upon a time doctor. A Medicine Man. He stared at them. He ached with them. “I’m sorry.”
​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Alexander Brennan
Former Seraphite | 19 | Current location ;; Washington

Alex held onto Nate, rocking and humming while he cried. It was all he had, all he could think to do and so it was what he did. He heard his partner's breathing regulate, slowly. Alex felt fingers moving, following around the cuts, gently. He knew that he blamed himself, and Alex knew there was no way around that. "Don't be sorry. It isn't your fault." Alex's words were firm, even as he remained nestled in Nate's head. "Now, I think we should go lay down in that nice bed we have here, and put this day behind us. What do you think my love?" Alex asked, his own body feeling like it was shutting down, he was tired and drained, but he would stay up with Nate. Right now.. Zero feet was the answer and zero feet meant not leaving his side.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Nathaniel Matthews
Former Firefly| 21 | Current location ;; Washington

Nathaniel Matthews, whoever that was, could only barely nod to that. He didn’t want to get up, because his limbs were made of jelly, and yet, he also didn’t want to stay there where he was certain he would break again. Too much happened in the last forty eight hours. Way too much. He didn’t understand why everything could be so bad all at once. Things were going so well. They were not just surviving. They were living. They had everything in the world to look forward to. They were happy. Where did happy go? Where did good go? He tried to stand but it was hard and he was going to need Alex to help him to the bed. If he were alone, he would live right there until he could move again. A bed sounded so much better than this floor though. A bed with Alex. He needed Alex. He always needed him.
​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Alexander Brennan
Former Seraphite | 19 | Current location ;; Washington

Alex felt the little nod and immediately he was moving. He shifted his hold so he could maneuver them. Alex managed to hold on tight to Nate, picking him up as he stood. “Easy baby. I’ve got you. I’ve always got you.” He said, repeating the same words Nate told him, what felt like forever ago now. And he walked through the apartment and set Nate on the bed gently. Then Alex climbed up onto it and put both arms out as he laid on his side. An invitation for zero feet tonight because Alex needed Nate as much as Nate needed Alex.​