Fantasy PHANTASMA: SCHOOL OF THE STRANGE

[CSA]

"Oh! Cooking class, yeah," said Lily, attempting to plaster a smile on her face and seem excited. She had to stop dancing for a few seconds in order to consider the situation.


"Shit. I'd let myself get caught up in dancing of all things, and completely forgot about Anya's... 'cooking'."





Lily started dancing once again, a broad smile still forced onto her visage.


"It'll be OK. It'll be OK. She actually asked me what I wanted this time. I can control this. I can get out of this alive."





"Well," said Lily, seemingly contemplating the question deeply, "I think this time I want, y'know, a sandwich?"


"Yes, excellent. It's almost impossible to mess up a sandwich."





"See, I just... love sandwiches, but it doesn't really go with my image so I almost never eat any. But if you just happened to make a sandwich, well, of course I could eat it. Also, this is a special secret between friends so don't tell anyone."


"Because it really would screw with my image if people thought I was some kind of loser sandwich-eating dork."

 

[ComradeSenpai]

"A... sandwich?" Anya asked. Her mind swam with all sorts of ideas for sandwich fixings. Various meats, cheeses, toppings could make or break this; she'd need only the finest ingredients, sliced and prepared with her own hands.


This could even make up for the pie incident if she pulled it off right. She couldn't let Lily down.


"Okay, then. I'll see what I can do."

 

[MechaGhoul]

Suzette's ears twitched, as she took a large gulp. Something was not right, something was going to happen, something bad. Susie knew this deep within her heart, and she didn't wish to see the results that would eventually arise from it.


"A-a-aaachuo." She said as she turned her head down towards the right as she sneezed. "A-ah e-er excuse me."

 

[CSA]

Lily smiled back at Anya. This was probably one of the Alraune's better ideas, though they were all great. It was almost impossible to screw up a simple sandwich, so Lily wouldn't have to suffer or lie to Anya. Everything was going to turn out absolutely fantastic, and nothing about this plan could go wrong forever.


"I'm looking forward to it, Anya."


Thankfully, her dancing was already getting a little better. Probably because she was superior to the mammals in just about every way. She also wasn't fretting cooking class so much at the moment, and was actually looking forward to it a little.

 

[ComradeSenpai]

AND TIME PASSED


FOR ABOUT FIFTEEN MINUTES


~~~~~NEXT PERIOD BEGINS: CULINARY ARTS~~~~~


Richter tied an apron around his back, giving a sigh as he flipped through his lesson plan. The majority of students did well yesterday, one in particular exceeding expectations. One, however, managed to set back the average score of the entire class to below abysmal, alone.


But it was easier to lump them all in as a singular skill level, so the entire class would receive the same teaching.


Richter took a marker and wrote "COLD FOODS AND SANDWICHES" on the board. It would take a special kind of fool to mess this up.

 

[MechaGhoul]

Suzette glanced at Richter as he sighed. Generally, this was not a good sign. Well, the fact that this was Culinary Arts, that was a bad sign. Suzette knew damn well that she would have to be vigilant, if she wanted to protect the lives of the many, and just as importantly, her French sensibilities when it came to cuisine.


Susie gave a sigh of relief as she saw that the board only had 'COLD FOODS AND SANDWICHES' on it. She gave a small smile, as she clasped her hands together in prayer. "Saint Lawrence. Puissiez-vous protéger les estomacs de le personnes." Keeping her eyes closed for a moment as she concentrated in hoping, that he would hear and answer her prayer, she opened them and unclasped her hands.

 

[CSA]

Lily grinned to herself as she put on an apron, looking at the board. Could things get more perfect? It would take a special kind of fool to screw up a sandwich, and Lily had all the faith in the world that Anya could at least put some ham in between two slices of bread and have it not be one of the worst things she'd ever seen.


As for Lily, while she could probably make a magnificent salad by slicing off parts of herself, she was feeling kind of lazy and wasn't really into pointless pain no matter how minimal. Susie already knew that she was at least pretty good, so Lily had nothing to prove. No, today she would take it easy and make a sandwich.


And maybe try and keep Susie from murdering anything that Anya made, even if it did somehow turn out not good.


"But let's be real. It's a sandwich. There's no way it could even be anywhere near as bad as the... fish-tomato pie."





Lily shuddered a little.

 

[ComradeSenpai]

Anya smiled as she put on her apron. Lily and Susie probably expected her to put some mackerel between two slices of bread, but there was no way she'd stop with something so simple. No, she had to impress them if she wanted to win their love. This next food would have to top even the fish tomato pie, rest its soul.


Her ears twitched as she noticed Lily shuddering.


"Oh no, are you alright, Lily? Do you need some antacid?" she asked.

 

[TooLazyToLogIn]

Lief came in the door, letting it creak shut behind him. He positioned himself behind a rectangular marble table with a sink and cooking equipment.


He gazed around at the room, making sure to log everyone's names, likes, dislikes and personality. It was regular protocol for him when it came to being in a new class.


"Sandwiches?" Lief uttered silently while staring at the board in mass amounts of confusion.


He hadn't made a single dish in his entire lifetime. Lief silently stared at the others in the class, waiting for them to finish their foods. So he could copy them.

 

[Spottedmask]

Saruwatari walks opens the door after Lief walking in he slowly closes it and walks over to a table not sure what to do he looks at the bored. "Sandwiches.... I haven't even food in such a long time. Wonder if I could." He mumbles to him self. Looks around and sighs. He pulls out a book and starts reading a bit of it.

 

[CSA]

Lily snapped out of her thoughts when Anya began talking to her, and noticed a couple of students coming to class late. She looked down at the Neko, and quickly came up with a good lie.


"Oh, no, I don't... I mean, I'm fine. I was actually just shivering in anticipation. I'm really excited for that great sandwich I know you're making me."


Lily was smiling on the outside, but as the time of judgement grew nearer, she became slightly less certain. Anya was so sweet and cute, but she was such a bad cook.

 

[MechaGhoul]

Suzette had truly pondered upon whether or not to bring any of her puppets to class, which, was an easy answer. Of course she did, though only a small sock puppet instead of her trusty ventriloquist dolls Ferdie or Arianne. She didn't want him to have to suffer through the horrors that could go down in Culinary Class. Or more specifically she didn't want him to enjoy himself too much and try to get the horrors to be produced on an even larger scale, or something like that. And of course, Arianne needed to still be stored away.


She reached into the right pocket of her sweat-pants and pulled out the sockpuppet, a red felt creature with white beads for eyes, a set of white cloth fangs, and of course two black horns perching from the top of his head, which she quickly placed upon her left hand."I have a mediation between two clients, what have you brought me for? ... Sandwiches? This isn't scheduled in the calendar." Susie, or rather her puppet stated. "Bit de la corvée pour la plupart, so they say." Susie stated as she glanced around, noticing one male student just, doing nothing, and another one choosing to read a book. She kept a glance at it, before glancing back at the board, then returning her attention to the puppet. Then she glanced towards Lily and Anya, before quickly glancing back at her puppet again.

 

[Spottedmask]

He writes something in the book then slides it back into his backpack looking around he decides to try to make something. Something that his mother had taught him to make back when he was alive. He looked over and saw a puppet and shivered then went back to what he was doing.

 

[ComradeSenpai]

"Lily...." Anya cooed, placing her hands on the plant's shoulders.


"I will make you the best sandwich."


With this, she turned and placed a sliced kaiser roll on the counter. This would serve as an excellent base for her sandwich. She read that mayo was an excellent condiment to put on sandwiches. She went to the fridge, and brought out a jar of that, some horseradish, and a bottle of ranch dressing.

 

[TooLazyToLogIn]

Noticing Anya take out specific condiments, Lief tried his best to copy her in the exact same manner she took them out and layed them out on the table. He seemed intrigued by the process of making a 'sandwich'.


"Horseradish, mayo and ranch dressing... I need those..." Lief thought to himself while walking over to the fridge.


He opened the fridge and took out a half bottle of used ranch dressing and some horseradish in a bowel. Lief walked back to his table and found out that he was missing a couple of things.


"A Kaiser roll and mayo... Aha.." He thought to himself once more.


Lief ran up to a cupboard near a microwave and took out some plain white bread before running back to his table and lying it down with the other ingredients. He then crouched down and started to sneak up on Anya's table. Lief quickly took the bottle of mayo off her table and snuck his way back to his own table.


"Um... This will have to do... They look... Weird" Lief whispered to himself while staring down at the ingredients in partial disgust.

 

[MechaGhoul]

"Shouldn't y-" "Get to work? Right. Right." Susie said as she nodded to her puppet, which she still kept on her left hand. She glanced from side to side, before choosing the pantry that was in fact nearest to her, just slightly above her own desk. She reached up towards the drawer and placed her puppet on the knob. "He- Grglglrlglglgl...." Susie mouthed as her puppet's mouth was wrapped around the pantry door, her expression capturing a sense of dismay, that her character was facing.


Quickly opening the drawer, she peered up inside and took out a plastic container of sliced white bread. It was the typical stuff, wrapped in a nondescript white plastic container and kept in place by a bright orange plastic tie. Susie grabbed the plastic bag, again using her hand with the puppet as she scanned the container for the expiration date. She found herself slightly amused by the nutrition labels on the bottom portion of the container, and aha, she found the expiration date and the bread had not yet passed it. Susie glanced at her puppet, before taking it off, and placing it next to the container.


Unwrapping the twist tie she opened the container and placed the straightened tie on the table, as she reached in and pulled out a heel slice of the bread. Susie tilted her head as she placed the puppet back on. "What do you think would be a good sandwich filler?" "I don't know, nor do I really care. I have negogiations I have to deal with. Can't you just deal with the question of filler on your own?" Susie frowned as she glanced at her puppet annoyed at the response, which she in fact gave to herself. Sighing, Suzette demurely tapped her right cheek, as she pondered on what would be a good filling for the sandwich.

 

[ComradeSenpai]

Anya took a butter knife and spread a thick layer of horseradish and ranch on the kaiser roll. She could have sworn she'd taken out something else, but it was probably just her imagination


Next, she'd work on the meat part of the sandwich. Richter kept a lot of exotic stuff, it seemed. She grabbed slices of goat, because goats were silly, soy turkey, and something called "Grifyn". She wasn't sure what that last one was, but it seemed tasty enough.

 

[TooLazyToLogIn]

"DOWNLOADINGCOOKDATA#06" Leif said with a blank look pasted across his face. It looked as if he was traumatized yet not at the same time. After about five minutes Lief got up and placed a perfect slice of white bread down on a plate. He then swiped a butter knife and spread a fair amount of horseradish onto the white bread before slapping another slice of white bread onto it. Leif put his finger on top of the perfectly made sandwich and a laser started to emerge from it, cutting the supposedly delicious lunch in perfect halves.


"Done.... I think..."

 

[CSA]

Lily had on a slightly worried smile as she watched the Neko run over to the fridge. She became relieved when Anya pulled out the mayonnaise, which was always a good start for almost any sandwich. Even the horseradish seemed OK; she was probably going to go for a horseradish mayonnaise spread.


Then came the ranch dressing, and Lily began to have flashbacks to that horrid fish tomato pie. Her eye twitched a little as Anya hopped back over to her kaiser roll, and Lily shook her head in disbelief. There was no way, no way Anya could mess up a sandwait what is that meat


Lily decided to start concentrating on her own sandwich for the moment, because she didn't want to cry. The Alraune got out some rye bread (The best kind of bread and not even that shitty marbled crap because if you want sourdough you should just eat fucking sourdough and not spoil good bread by putting the two together and that rye isn't even that good it's mostly prepackaged garbage that you find in crappy delis and marbled rye is the worst), and got out some lettuce and tomato and began prepping them.


Lily looked up from her work a little to watch the other students, and saw Susie talking to another one of her puppets. She couldn't quite decide whether this was cute or creepy, but after a little observation she decided on cute. She also saw a boy put some horseradish on white bread and call it a sandwich, and Lily started to cry a little. She knew that the other races were inferior, but were there really two whole students in the class that couldn't even make a sandwich? It genuinely made her sad for the future of the culinary arts, and she wasn't even French.

 

[MechaGhoul]

Susie, had seen some of the creations made in this kitchen. A-as long as they aren't eaten... She thought to herself, fearing the lives of the other students, and more importantly the decency of cooking, and her French sensibilities when it came to it. If the time came to destroy the monstrosities, then she would act. Then another thought quickly ran through her mind as she pondered upon it. Shaking her head she glanced at the heel slice of bread she had pulled out.


She glanced at her puppet before pondering on whether or not to take it off. She decided against the notion, and left her puppet on her hand. Reaching back into the package with her free hand, she maneuvered her fingers across the pieces of bread, going towards the heel. "Not going for oh, the front?" Susie paused, as she glanced at her puppet, before glancing down with a look of embarrassment. Maneuvering her fingers back she reached for the second slice of bread. After a quick glance at her puppet, she reached over and pulled the puppet off her hand. Her eyes idly scanned the table for the twist tie, as she found it. Grabbing it quickly, she swiftly tied up the container of bread and proceeded to wrap it back up.


Once done with that part of her task, she opened back up the pantry and placed the bread back in. It was there, she decided what to make, as she noticed an eschewed jar of peanut butter, and a half full jar of grape jelly. She quickly reached for the two jars, holding one in each hand and placed them upon the counter.


"Now... where is a table-knife..." Susie muttered to herself.

 

[ComradeSenpai]

"Right... Next is veggies." Anya mumbled to herself, and began prowling around for ingredients once more. She was pretty sure veggies had to be uncooked before being placed on a sandwich.


Naturally, it made sense to use brussel sprouts, for the texture. She also found a vegetable labeled "Ghost Pepper", and felt what little color there was drain from her pale face. Ghosts were pretty scary. However, she remembered something her father told her, how warriors would sometimes eat or wear the skin of fallen beasts to gain their power. Anya grabbed several ghost peppers. She also found a vegetable in a jar labeled "pickled grifyn beak". An odd name for what was probably actually a turnip of some kind.


Anya chopped the vegetables up, and spread the pieces over the meats of the sandwich. It would be ready soon.

 

[MechaGhoul]

Susie frowned as she did not immediately find a table-knife laying around. But, she had the jars out and ready to use. Susie returned her puppet to her hand as she noticed Anya reaching for some, strange... ingredients again. This was not a good sign. Susie felt herself gag, as she gazed upon the sight. Then she scanned the rest of the room, noticing that, some other student finished his sandwich, apparently.


Suzette kept her head down and her eyes gazing away, as she mouthed her puppet to speak. "Are you sure you're done? Or something?" Her pupils quickly darted back towards the jars she retrieved. "Just need to get a table knife." She muttered to herself again, as she returned to scanning for a knife.

 

[CSA]

Lily couldn't help but glance over at Anya every once in a while as she was fixing her sandwich, and she didn't like what she saw. Lily began trembling a little as she finished cutting her tomatoes, dreading what was to come. Lily could eat almost anything and it wouldn't even be a problem, but that didn't mean she wanted to eat whatever abomination Anya was cooking up.


"I'll consume raw flesh, but this is just... no, I can't think that way. Anya is working hard to make me a nice sandwich. I can't... I'll have to eat it. I'll have to like it. She was so proud of that pie, and she was so sad when I couldn't eat it."





Lily's vines suddenly flailed around, searching for an onion. She quickly found and dragged a bulb to her cutting board, starting to chop that too while her vines searched out some turkey and mayonnaise.


"If I'm cutting this onion, no one will think twice about my tears."





Anyways, Lily was going to eat that horrible sandwich and wanted to make sure that Susie would not interfere. She looked over at the Elf, who seemed to be looking around confused.


"Y-you alright over there?" asked Lily, wiping a tear from her cheek.

 

[MechaGhoul]

Suzette's ears twitched as she turned her head towards Lily. "I er, need uhm, a table knife." She replied rather embarrassed about the situation, as her cheeks flushed a little. She quickly shook her head as she began glancing around again, for a knife, using her hand with her puppet on it to open up some random drawers. Scouring through it with her free hand, she noticed, no table-knife. And as such she quickly shut it.

 

[ComradeSenpai]

"Alright, cheese now." Anya said to herself. And what better cheese, she thought to herself, than macaroni and cheese? Anya opened a box and spread some dry macaroni onto the sandwich.


"But where's the.... the cheese packet is missing." she said, and looked around for an appropriate substitute. Ramen flavor packets would be a zesty substitute, she decided, and emptied six onto the creation. Now she just needed some water to mix it. Then again, water was rather plain. She went through the cabinets.


"Whiskey.... like whisker? That sounds good." she read the label on one bottle. Whiskers were on cats, and Anya was basically part cat probably. She carefully poured some onto the ramen flavor, attempting to make a paste. Of course, it didn't work, and the liquid poured down the side of the sandwich.


"Whisker whiskey. It's like having a little bit of me in the sandwich", Anya said, placing the top half of the kaiser roll, completing the sandwich.


She garnished it by unwrapping a stick of butter, and placing it on top.


"DONE!"