Colosseum Ｌ Ｉ Ｍ Ｉ Ｔ Ｌ Ｅ Ｓ Ｓ – OOC

[The Creator Prime]

@The Creator Prime everything seems good except I didn't see the message saying you read the rules, I'm gonna need that to accept you. If you did put it down and I just failed to see it I apologize, just tell me if you did

It's there.

 

[Swoob]

Oops sorry and @Yehovah @Lockett same with you guys as with Creator

 

[Swoob]

@The Creator Prime alright, Accepted!

 

[amybri18]

Just to let you know, I won't be here much tomorrow, if at all. I'll try to get my character done as much as possible tonight, but I'm making no promises...

 

[King Of Imagination]

@Swimswamswom also, just a question, my plan for my character's home location involves the gaps between universes, due to the nature of the planet. Is that alright? I'll explain more in the sheet, just want to be sure that the general idea is okay.

 

[The Creator Prime]

There is already one such gap world, @King Of Imagination

 

[King Of Imagination]

Is the world in a constant state of being torn apart and reassembled by opposing entropic and ordering forces?

 

[The Creator Prime]

[QUOTE="King Of Imagination]Is the world in a constant state of being torn apart and reassembled by opposing entropic and ordering forces?

[/QUOTE]
Not exactly, but it does lie in the gap between dimensions.

 

[King Of Imagination]

I know, grin's world, the meeting point between them. My world was sent to a nearly inaccessible point between the dimensions to prevent whatever is affecting it from spreading.

 

[Lockett]

@Swimswamswom Added it to the first page of the sheet.

 

[Yehovah]

@Swimswamswom My sheet was written in simplistic terms so that it could be clearly understood. Heavily elaborate writing is redundant as long as I get my point across. I will try to keep my writing to the best of my ability but that is all I can promise. I am not a grammar professor or whatever but I'll try. I've also accepted the rules and added his location to my sheet.

 

[Swoob]

@King Of Imagination hmm... I'd say describe it in your character sheet or in a PM and I'll decide from there.


(@Yehovah I'm gonna shoot you and everyone a PM)

 

[Lockett]

@Swimswamswom I've added the "message" to the end of my story.

 

[Swoob]

oops sorry, was just about to go to bed so good thing I decided to check here one last time


@Lockett Accepted!

 

[SachiGrl]

Hi,


I created the profile then read the rules, so I hope you don't mind me putting this here: I (don't) want to ascend.

 

[SachiGrl]

@Swimswamswom


So, am I accepted?


I read all the rules.


I promise

 

[Swoob]

@SachiGrl sorry I was at swim practice don't worry you have the message so I trust you c:


Can you further explain your powers a bit? Most of them are too basic/vague or unexplained, which can lead to some godmoddy opportunities. What I'm looking at most specifically are (though please don't limit the explanation to) her body and the water replenishment. How flexible and shock-absorbent is her body and does replenishing this water supply replenish her magic or the damage taken to her body?


Just a few more things; first up is her personality. I'd rather you put it into paragraph form and explain it in greater detail, to be honest, though I care more about you explaining it more than putting it in paragraph form. Also, I won't make you change her personality, I just want you to know that if/when I accept you, the roleplay will have a more serious and dark atmosphere, so make sure not to stray from that too far


Next up is your writing. It seems to be almost enough for this rp, but it just needs a little more tweaking. I'd suggest varying up your sentence starters a bit more and using more descriptive language (without breaking up the flow of the writing, of course). Is it ok if you revise your writing sample a bit with that in mind? And lastly (I swear this is the last one), this is just a small thing but the planet Chordate will have to be in Lyra, which is quite a bit further than a thousand light years from Earth. I'd just suggest you replace that with some part of the galaxy (towards the center, in the body, on the edge, etc).


Sorry to make you do all this, but I think with greater explanation and some small tweaks, you can get your character accepted. c:

 

[Swoob]

@GraySin u still interested in applying?

 

[SachiGrl]

@SachiGrl sorry I was at swim practice don't worry you have the message so I trust you c:
Can you further explain your powers a bit? Most of them are too basic/vague or unexplained, which can lead to some godmoddy opportunities. What I'm looking at most specifically are (though please don't limit the explanation to) her body and the water replenishment. How flexible and shock-absorbent is her body and does replenishing this water supply replenish her magic or the damage taken to her body?


Just a few more things; first up is her personality. I'd rather you put it into paragraph form and explain it in greater detail, to be honest, though I care more about you explaining it more than putting it in paragraph form. Also, I won't make you change her personality, I just want you to know that if/when I accept you, the roleplay will have a more serious and dark atmosphere, so make sure not to stray from that too far


Next up is your writing. It seems to be almost enough for this rp, but it just needs a little more tweaking. I'd suggest varying up your sentence starters a bit more and using more descriptive language (without breaking up the flow of the writing, of course). Is it ok if you revise your writing sample a bit with that in mind? And lastly (I swear this is the last one), this is just a small thing but the planet Chordate will have to be in Lyra, which is quite a bit further than a thousand light years from Earth. I'd just suggest you replace that with some part of the galaxy (towards the center, in the body, on the edge, etc).


Sorry to make you do all this, but I think with greater explanation and some small tweaks, you can get your character accepted. c:

Do you mind if I take this conversation to a PM?

 

[Swoob]

Do you mind if I take this conversation to a PM?

Nope, go ahead c:

 

[Swoob]

Sorry I have to go sleep but I'll check this first thing in the morning


Goodnight everyone

 

[SachiGrl]

Sorry I have to go sleep but I'll check this first thing in the morning
Goodnight everyone

Night!!

 

[Swoob]

@Kai Veli you are in quite the wrong place there lol


I apologize but I'm not totally sure what you mean so I can't directly answer you, but you should definitely go here: Site Questions & Information and start a help thread with your question. Many helpful people and site staff will answer all your questions!


Also, just a friendly side note, I'm going to have to delete your message by the end of today, as you weren't really supposed to post there. But don't worry about it

 

[Swoob]

@SachiGrl good job tweaking the points I mentioned c: Accepted!

 

[amybri18]

I will hopefully get my character done later