LowkeyLovingLoki
heartbeat on the high line
HAND OVER HAND
While not totally surprised by Chas’ reaction to him, Seb did feel a bitter disappointment from it. Alongside this disappointment was a very real, very overwhelming send of panic and self-loathing that Seb was trying extremely hard to contain. After being shot down by Chas once, he decided to stay quiet while Chas stormed over to... Gen, who’d apparently now joined in. Great. Seb took some deep breaths while nobody was paying attention to him, but when Chas completely walked off without a glance in his direction, it was all for nothing since he felt like he was choking anyway.
Against his better judgement, he pulled out his phone and got involved in Twitter again, feeling like he needed to do something that took up all of his attention or else he’d just explode. At first it worked out pretty well, and then Chas had to jump on. Seb tried to just not interact with him at first, but then that became extremely awkward, so he decided to suck it up, which was yet another in a long line of bad decisions he was making that night. He and Chas quickly became a bit hostile with each other, then Nate and Evie started to tweet as well and it all just built up from there. Seb had never had a breakdown in public before, but this one took him by surprise. All of a sudden all he could think was that he deserved all of this and that nothing would ever be okay again.
Before he knew it he was crying and somehow through everything he’d ended up messaging Charlie, who was helping him through his breakdown. He’d ended up sitting on the ground with his knees to his chest, leaning back against the bleachers and trying to breathe properly so he didn’t feel like he was dying. It wasn’t going great for him so far.
code by valen t.
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