We were doomed from the Start.(CLOSED)

[CharlieBoyyy]

I wake up to Fonda cool sensation on my forehead. For a split second, I'm frightened by it. I'm disoriented, I don't know who it is. And the sound of armour. I thought k was underastack.


But I quickly remember the issue. Where I am. Who it was. It was my auntie.


"Good morning, Auntie" I smile weakly at her, but try to make myself look stronger, healthier.

 

[DeadnotSleeping]

Joy was standing right in front of him. She was not smiling this time. She was fuming, and Nie tried to disappear.


"You did what?! How did you dare?..."


The dentist hadn't got the slightest idea of what he has done wrong. But his love screamed at him, and suddenly, everything was burning around them....


I try to smile back to the boy.


"Hello. Are you thirsty? I found plenty of water. How are you feeling?"


I don't dare to glance at my liege. I'm afraid too much...

 

[CharlieBoyyy]

"I'm feeling a bit better" I lied. "Yes please, I need water." I say up the only way I could with my restraints, pulling myself up and sitting in the pillows.


I took some water off her and glugged it down. I was so thirsty and had a horrific taste in my mouth.


"I'm glad I'm not dead. I thought I might have been for a second" I grimace.

 

[DeadnotSleeping]

I try to smile.


"You don't look better. I hate to see you in restraints, but no way I am letting you get up until you are really healthy. I am afraid for you. I don't want you to die... " my voice trembles. "Please. Please. I cannot lose you all..."


I touch his face.


"Please. Listen to us. We need you alive..."

 

[CharlieBoyyy]

"I know. I do try. I'm trying to feel better. I can't help it." I sigh


I hate being ill I hate it it's not fair It's not. I've tried to be strong and now look at me almost near death with someone I've known for a few days weeping over the fact I may be dying.


And my brother, my carer was sleeping and crying By side. I willed to get better.

 

[DeadnotSleeping]

I lean down and kiss Mitchell's face.


"Thank you... just... please promise me you won't be brash... and that you won't give up..."


My voice is trembling. I carefully refresh the wet application on him.


I am dreading the moment I have to acknowledge the horrible words my liege uttered.


"Do you... want to eat something...?"

 

[CharlieBoyyy]

"I don't know what brash means." I say slowly. I didn't want to sound thick but...


I thought about food. I wasn't hungry, but given the fact of churned up everything if eaten made me think that probably I should


"Yes please ". I say

 

[DeadnotSleeping]

Nie could only watch as the torturers caught his family.


He was standing in the middle of the dungeon. This time, only held by his red-hot and heavy armour, no binds... but the scorching hot iron etched himself into his flesh and bones. No matter how much he wanted to move, there were no muscles to order anymore...


...just the pain. More in his mind than in his body... he wanted to yell at the sheriff and the commander, beg them to let his beloveds go, but his parched throat didn't gave out a sound...


"I just need you not to get too cocky as soon as you feel you can move. I think you need more rest. And yes, in bed." I say sternly, standing up to gather the soup and the smallcakes. That's when I realize I am famished, too... I prop Mitchell up, and give him the bowl and a spoon.


"Let's try it. I'll help if you need it..."


I also start nibbling on a salty cake. It tastes good, and I start to feel a bit better.

 

[CharlieBoyyy]

The food tastes good. The heat running down my throat feels amazing, I can't help but compliment the chef


"This is delicious" I say as I guzzle it down. It's strange. I can feel myself getting better already because of it"


"You're such a good chef"

 

[DeadnotSleeping]

I smile, watching as he eats. At least I can do something good for him. A disturbing thought stirs in the back of my mind... I don't push it away this time. Let it awaken.


"Your brother also helped... still... thank you. I am actually priding myself on my cooking. Might be my only feminine charm" I laugh quietly, then that thought forms entirely, and I freeze.


...when had my liege eaten last time?...

 

[CharlieBoyyy]

"He knows I thank every day he's alive and with me" I say whimsically, still tucking in to my dinner.


"But yes you're right I will thank him again. It's been a while"


I sigh


"Look, I know we argue and fight but I love him so so dearly"

 

[DeadnotSleeping]

I have to smile. Kind of sounds like the relationship we had with Joy. Arguing in every single thing. Still loving each other to death.


Even after death.


And like the one we have with my liege. We've always disagreed on certain matters...


"I think it is adorable" I say honestly, and look over to my lord again. "I even envy it... he clearly loves you. And you love him..."


I sigh, giving another smallcake to the boy.


"I want a family like this, again. An entire family. So please, get better soon. I won't stop fussing over you, to be honest... but I am holding you to your promise..."


I can't take this anymore. I can't look at him. I am too much afraid...

 

[CharlieBoyyy]

I take the cake and start eating it.


I look over to my brother. Although he's asleep, he looks tired. He looks drawn, I feel partly responsible for this. He was such a strong man. I wanted to be like him so much. He was my inspiration. I loved him so much.


I put my hand on his hair and stroked it. His hair was growing at the same right as mine. And it was now getting long and shaggy again. I chuckled to myself, I knew he hated it. He used to think it made him Look feminine. Complete poppycock of course but.

 

[DeadnotSleeping]

Nie slowly started to panic, as he couldn't do anything, and the commander started to burn Joy. His beautiful wife was screaming, and the dentist instinctively started to recite the enumeration again, like it was a prayer... and as he spoke, the man stopped...


"...Morgans... Bakers... Niederhausen.... Hooges... Jolm... Caldwell... Smith... Wells.... Nothers... Fields... Verhaiden... Winters... Folkner... Nasaim... Caratos... Mellianaken.... Poulder... Lendvai... Normans... Cochrain... Boster... Howles... Two Feathers... Collins... Vortheim... Canbertons... Welchen...."


I freeze, then jump on my feet as I realize that this is my lord's voice, broken and weak... and that I hear names. The tears flow out from my eyes now... I kneel next to my liege, watching his pale face, the cracked lips forming the words...


This is... this is an enumeration... a roll call for all of the town... I hear our names, and that makes me cry, cutting into my heart deep.


So many names. So many deaths. And my liege was carrying the weight of all...


"Please, stop" I beg him, taking his bone hands into my own. "Stop... don't tell those anymore... Please..."


I think he doesn't hear me...

 

[CharlieBoyyy]

I hear my father and turn to the knight.


"He does this. He does this a lot. It's scary. But I understand it more now. It's the way he grieves. Comes to terms with things, I guess. He. I don't know if he knows he's doing it or not."


I prop myself up and untangle the ropes on my wrists.


"I don't know, is he getting any better?"

 

[DeadnotSleeping]

“This is… this is not dealing with it… it is… punishment… these are our names!...“ I am shaking, leaning over my lord. He stops, finally, but his lips are still moving… I want to slap him, and that’s when I realize what bothered me.


I feel stupid. I want to kick myself. My liege wasn't conscious for the most of the last few days. I hadn't even made him drink. This is really a hospital, but that doesn't equal magic field for getting better. I should think something up.


I won't let my liege die. Not even if he wishes so. We still need him... my chest is burning up.


This is somehow wrong, I know. My lord is half right... we are torturing him with this. He is dying. I still don't want to let him go.


Darius doesn't want to let him go. And Mitchell...


"...your father... he... " I sigh. "Mitchell, he said... he wants to give up... but I... I want to hold into him... and yet… I think he is not getting any better…"

 

[CharlieBoyyy]

"We have to try and hold on to him, Auntie. Darius is right, to. We can't let him go. We just can't. I couldn't live with myself if we let him die. It would be awful."


I forget my straps and go to stand up but I'm pulled back. I breakdown slightly.


"I just want to hug my dad"

 

[DeadnotSleeping]

I nod, getting up to release the bindings, and help up the boy. I am shaking still, even if I try to smile.


I want to keep my liege, too… and it hurts to think maybe that is not the right way. I want him to wake up, to live and smile, and even if that voice in the back of my head screams that is not possible.


“Come, then, Mitchell. I don’t think you should be kept away…”


I want to hug my liege, too… and I don’t dare. I am too strong, and he looks so frail, like he would be crushed by my touch… I still pick up a water-skin.


“And I need you to help me, please… you should drink, then help me make your father drink…”

 

[CharlieBoyyy]

I thank the Knight for her help. I walk tentatively to my father and gently hug him, allowing a rogue tear fall from my face.


"I love you dad, please don't let go now" I whisper into his ears.


I take the water skin and prop the man up with my forearm and tilt his head back so slightly.


I pure water down his throat being extra careful not to drown or choke the man.


"He's had a drink now" I say to the Knoght. I take the opportunity to pick up a few things off the floor that had been bugging me.

 

[DeadnotSleeping]

I watch the boy acting so gingerly and gently, and I smile, no matter how bitterly. He is doing this so naturally… I cannot do this. Not yet. My hands are shaking, and I’m afraid I’d hurt my liege…


“Thank you” I sigh, running through my fingers in my short hair. “I wouldn’t dare to do that… I don’t want to hurt him any more… I was so stupid… I forgot about everything I know… no wonder he is in a shape this bad… no matter how painful… he still needs to eat and drink… sorry… I am… to blame again… and to think that I was supposed to be the adult… I can’t do it. Please… would you rest now a bit more? I think I’ll bring in another bed, and put it right next to this one… I feel it would be better somehow…”


My voice breaks a bit. That horrible enumeration still echoes in my head, disturbing me…

 

[CharlieBoyyy]

"You're not to blame. You're almost as bad as my father for blaming yourself for something you didn't do!!" I laugh in disbelief.


"I'll rest I promise. But please let me help you lift the bed into here. I'd get Darius to help but... I don't think he's in the best of health. He never would sleep this much, usually. His face looks sullen. I'm worried for him. I think he's just over tired"

 

[DeadnotSleeping]

“Sweet child” I almost laugh. “The bed weighs more than you do… so sorry, but won’t do it. I can lift it easily enough. But I will need help with the linens. I put all I’ve found into the cupboard. You should pick out the best… and watch over the others. I think we are all tired. If you can do for a while without sweet pastries, I propose a few days rest for all of us. But I want you in bed or near bed. Your back looks almost as bad as your father’s had been… and I want you healthy...”


I lean over to place a kiss on Mitchell’s hair.


“So do me a favour, and don’t push yourself. I will make roasted pigeon for the next meal, if you behave well…”

 

[CharlieBoyyy]

"But with the two of us , it won't be so..." I see Azus glance at me "no. Okay, sure"


I walk over to the linens and pick up two blankets and two pillowcases and a sheet and fold them up neatly on the side. I start folding the others and placing them in an empty drawer.


"I wish I could dust this place..." I say out loud to myself.


My face crumples at the thought of eating pigeon.


"Pigeon? I didn't think you could eat pigeon"

 

[DeadnotSleeping]

I laugh, preparing the empty place for the bed so I can put the bed there directly.


“You can do it later if you want it so much, if you take your pills and eat well” I promise. “I found a cleaning supplies closet. But I don’t want you to get sicker…”


I sigh, when he shows a bit of queasiness at the mention of the pigeon.


“Actually, as you have said, it’s scrumptious; like a tender chicken if prepared well. There were even a whole strain of them specifically bred for eating…”


I get up, buckling down my armour, so I can move easier.


“I’ll be right back…”

 

[CharlieBoyyy]

"But they're rats with wings...."


I didn't want to go back into that bed because it should belong to Darius, besides, he's now starfished over the entire bed.


I laugh thinking of his once- girlfriend, Cathy, and how she ever put up with sleeping next to that lump. I cover him up more in the blankets and move the pillow, he was almost face down and it was contorting his face strangely.


Oh I hoped he was okay.


I relish in the excitement of the cleaning cupboard. I can't even pinpoint where this obsession of cleaning has come from. I didn't have it before.