THE UNKNOWN

[diwa]

She was sobbing hard as she stood awkwardly, holding the bump of her stomach. She couldn't see through the curtain of her tears. What he said hurt her so much but she knew it wasn't half the pain he's feeling right now. Clarissa could hear his voice breaking and if it was possible the smash her heart into smithereens or smaller, it already did. She cheated. With his brother. and can't even explain the how's or the what's even the why's.


Even if he pushed her away, Clarissa clambered back to bed. It was a bit hard but she manage to turn on her side and tried to cradle Adrian's head. "I'm so....sorry... i'm so sorry. I do...don't kno....know what ha...happened tha...that night." words that she knew won't change the past, yet she needed it out. "I'll beg and gro... grovel. Ple....please just do.... don't.... send me a....way. Gi.....give me anoth...er chance." Her words were drowned by her sobs as she tried to kissed his head. "Please... Adrian."

 

[Nixon Valent]

His tears slowly stopped letting her hold his head, it took a moment for him to answer. He moved his head and turned to stare at her, his eyes red and bloodshot. "You're the one who brought up us breaking up." He had an odd look to his face that looked smiliar to a scowl but not completely. "If we're no longer to see one another than that's your choice Clarissa. I didn't even imply breaking up with you and I still right now put you in front of me." He let out a sigh before shutting up, his face becoming unreadable as he stared at her.

 

[diwa]

Clarissa kissed his eyes, almost tasting his salty tear but she did it anyways. Her hand caress his cheeks, "I... just... I thought you wanted me out. I just don't want ... to hear you say it." She stopped sobbing and looked at him in return. He didn't exactly turned that gaunt looking but his eyes showed what he suffered all those time. "No... no.. I don't want to go. And that's what makes me love you... you put me first even I did something horrible." Clarissa closed her eyes and put her forehead next to his. "That's what made me think that I don't actually deserve you...." she said softly... the pain in her voice was almost tangible, "I don't want to go... I don't want to leave.... but I don't know how to redeem myself."

 

[Nixon Valent]

"Redeem yourself? Just don't gawk over Apollo all the damn time anymore. I mean yes he is attractive but you could tone it down from like an 11 to a 4." He gave a small laugh, sort of finding how upset he was with her funny. He was upset with her yes but not as much as she made it out to be.


He moved over slightly so she had more room and wrapped his arms around her waist, knowing that she wasn't leaving him gave him the power to push down what pain he was holding in again. With that being that he seemed to go back to his normal self. One his hands gently touched her stomach. "You've gotten big." He stated struggling not to burst into laughter. "That's nothing personal last time I remember you, you were just so much tiner."

 

[diwa]

Clarissa smiled widely, she kissed him on his lips with passion but she abruptly stop, she knew where the simply kiss could lead them and it was something she doesn't need right now. 'Don't worry. Last time I saw him was two months ago.' She said softly as she kissed his hair. She didn't want to add that she felt disgusted and nauseous at herself everytime he saw him. 'Anything else you wanted me to do? I'll probably the one end up in a gstring running around the house. But i'll do it after the baby.' Clarissa planted a soft kiss on his forehead.


As he hug her, Clarissa tried to wrapped her arms around him. Considering he was out for two months, he was still a bit of a muscular. But he sure do needs his meat and greens. 'Well, Nicolas tied me around a chair so that i'll eat atleast 2 helpings per meal. He said he wanted his grand son to be like him.' She finally was able to giggle, 'tell me I souldn't worry about that?'

 

[Nixon Valent]

Adrian snickered hearing about his dad taking care of Clarissa. "He sounds like he took my job while I was out." He snuggled her softly pulling the blanket that was on the hospital bed over the two of them. He rested his head in the crook of her neck, shutting his eyes just enjoying the moment.


"I'll think of something to get us even. Just give me time. How have you been by the way? Father sounds like he forced you to take care of yourself."

 

[diwa]

"He did just.... fine..." Clarissa continued to brush his hair, "He did actually good. But for a grand father, he sure fuss a lot. He even took me shopping for maternity dresses once." she chuckled under her breath. Her shopping with Nicolas was one of the longest shopping spree she had. Every thirty minutes or so she pushed for Clarissa to sit somewhere and rest even though their walk isn't that much. If she doesn't want to rest, Nicolas immediately use the guilt card. "What would Adrian say if he woke up and he learned that you exhaust yourself?" or "If Adrian is here, you damn well know he'll ask you to rest." Clarissa can't help but to follow him. Nicolas had a point though. They both knew that if Adrian was there shopping with them, he'll throw a fit just to get her rested from walking.


"Is that a threat, Mr.Acher?" Clarissa chortled, giving him a soft kiss on his temple, gods, how she missed him so much. "Getting even, are we?"

 

[Nixon Valent]

"Do you know how long he's been waiting for a grandchild? I can remember me being in highschool and talking about it. That was years ago his desire has only gotten worse, know that he has one on the way he is going overboard with making sure you're okay." He chuckled, it being one of those speak of the devil moments as Nicolas came into his room.


He grabbed his son and pulled Adrian into a bear hug lifting up off of the bed in the process, he wasn't like Clarissa and never really visited him so it was like a little reunioun in a way. It was honestly sweet how he held Adrian before sitting him back down on the bed staring at him. "How are you?"


"I'm alright." Adrian answered, giving his father a small smile. The answer didn't seem to make Nicolas happy though, he merely gave Clarissa the look of disapproval before nodding at Adrian.


"That's good to hear." He said ruffling Adrians hair like a small child it being clear he didn't want to leave his son but he left the two alone again to go back to their bonding time giving Clarissa the same look again as he left the room. He figured the two needed their time and since Adrian now bring awake he was going to be there later too.

 

[diwa]

'Well, I forgot to tell you. Your father resents me,' Clarissa grimaced at Adrian, 'how could he not, I almost killed his son.' Nicolas may look after her those weeks when Adrian was in coma, but they didn't actually bond. They did talk when it was about the baby. He was actually passionate about it. He just asked about her well being for the sake of his unborn grandson.Even back in the house, after she ate her meal she just cooped herself in Adrian's room. Buried in the covers of the bedsheet that has the same smell as Adrian.


Her feet dangle at the edge of his bed. She looked at him with her wary eyes. 'Really, how are you feeling?' repeating Nicolas's question. 'Please don't give me the same answer that you gave to your dad. Babe, you almost killed yourself.' She took his hand and she held it with her two hands. 'Stop thinking about my feelings first, if you're angry or dissapointed I want you to tell me. I want to know if we're going to need..... for someone you can talk to....' Clarissa squeeze his hand lightly.

 

[Nixon Valent]

He watched her, listening to her as she talked and frowned, seeing not way to get out of this. "I'm not really mad at you for what you did, right now I feel like shoving that IV I ripped out of my arm and into my eye." Well that was graphic but honest, he still felt suicidal clearly. "I'm also hungry enough to eat a whole cow." He snickered quietly, he didn't eat the whole time he was in a coma considering he couldn't so it made sense.

 

[diwa]

That's their main problem right there, Adrian's suicidal tendencies. Clarissa was itching to ask him that moment how that tendencies started. She knew it has something to do with his crazy maniacal brother but apart from that she doesn't know anything else. Deidrich ruined Adrian.


She kept her mouth shut, deciding that she could just ask him some other day. But right now, they have to accept victory. He was awake and if he was back to his old self when Clarissa was around, she didn't know.


She forced a laugh as she wrapped her arms around his neck. 'I'm always with you.' Clarissa said quietly breathing on his skin, 'but i'm not sure that the good doctor will allow you to eat already. You did pull your IV line.'

 

[Nixon Valent]

He shrugged. "I can wait, I feel like the only thing in that IV is sugar water by the way."


He patted Clarissas back gently and smiled innocently at her. "Don't worry about me, the only thing I really want is to go home and see what stick is up my fathers ass with you. Even if you did cheat on me with Apollo he wouldn't hold so much judge towards you."

 

[diwa]

'Please don't ask that to him.' Clarissa pleaded, her eyes already had a worried look. 'I already know the answer. So please don't. And I swear, I can't remember anything... anything at all from what happened that... night.' She tried to dig in her memory, even just to remember what lead her to do those things to Apollo. 'What I know is that you were out that night. He asked if I wanted a drink, we took a couple of shots of your dad's vodka and that's it.' She didn't know if that thing will help her case, or justify anything but she needed to say atleast she remembered what happened first. 'I'm sorry. I really am.' Her hands covered the frustrated look on her face.

 

[Nixon Valent]

He sighed. "I'm asking Clarissa, I know the man for gods sake he isn't the type to hold grudges. No one in my family really is. Dedrich was the only one. I told you I'm not mad at you for that night, I can tell it was a one time thing." He pulled her back into his arms and moved her hands away from her face kissing her cheek gently. "Really I'm being serious I have never wanted food so badly before."

 

[diwa]

'No,' she said stubbornly. 'I'll ask him myself. It will be better if I did.' Clarissa will have to deal with her own mess and she'll fight Adrian if she must. 'But I don't even want it to be a one time thing. I don't even wanted it to be a thing. That's the first time I got drunk and I was fucking stupid. I actually had a plan. If you didn't wake up and after the baby is born. I might have followed you.' She said softly.


With a tiny smile, she nuzzled Adrians neck. 'Wait for your doctor. I wanted you to eat, your arms are a little bit flabby.' Clarissa poke his arms playfully. 'Let's just stay here for a bit.' She pulled him closer to herself. She was comfortable but when she thought about talking to Nicolas, it was as if she was about to take a polygraph. 'How come I never met your mom?' A questioned suddenly popped in head.

 

[Nixon Valent]

"My mother? She passed away my freshman year of highschool." He took a moment to think clearly never having to remember her till of a sudden. "She was Russian, her hair was blonde though I don't know if it was natural she would never tell me." He let out a small laugh. "She honestly was a lot like you, hot headed, short tempered you know what I'm like talking about. If she was naturally blonde it explains me and Dedrichs hair color. I did see her buying blonde dye a lot of the time. She got mixed up with Dedrich and his little buisness of dealing drugs, she tried to stop him considering that was her child putting himself in harms way and got shot by one of Dedrichs cilents. Dedrich is an outcast of the family, my father hates him for a lot of reasons."

 

[diwa]

Clarissa was quiet for sometime, she just continued to plant soft kisses on his neck. 'She must be so beautiful. Seeing she had you guys as boys.' Her hand was playing with the laces of Adrian's hospital gown. 'She was lucky to have you as sons, well apart from Deidrich. What's up with him? Was he always like that?'

 

[Nixon Valent]

"I don't know, he was always a troubled child. The type to cause trouble but he never grew out of it. Apollo and I were little trouble makers too, egging cars and scaring neighbors shitless through various methods." He laughed quietly remembering his childhood. "Dedrich never got out of that phase, and the shit he did gradually got worse and worse. Somebdoy got him hooked up in the drug trade business, my father told my mother to stop sticking her nose in it considering he was the man of the house. She didn't listen and just got shot in the chest, thats all there was to it. It was kind of the reason I was so demanding about you staying away from Dedrich months ago in college. That talk right before he killed Emily."

 

[diwa]

'I always knew you were a trouble maker.' Clarissa mumbled, 'you and Apollo quite make a pair.' She chuckled as she brush his hair. She planted a kiss on his chest, and said 'I'm glad i'm a bit stubborn, then. But I was more glad that you were there to protect me.' She reach for his cheeks and give it a soft pect. 'Remember? When I thought you and Deidrich were a couple?' She giggled quietly at his chest. 'I'm sorry about your mum though, I would've love to meet her.'

 

[Nixon Valent]

"Oh good lord maybe Apollo but never Dedrich, everyone in my family hates him. He got my mother killed, my father tried to get his ass in line after that by sending him into any branch of the military. He wouldn't do shit for the longest time. My father and Apollo both work as nuclear engineers, well Apollo is part designing weapons and my father.. he works with Apollo a lot of the time. I can't really explain much to you considering I'm pretty sure you have no security clearance or military title, just know they're both way up there. My father is higher than Apollo. Both Apollo and I joined the navy then went off from there, Dedrich would have no part in that though so my father was stuck with him lingering around after highschool. How my father didn't kill Dedrich is beyond me."

 

[diwa]

'I honestly thought Apollo work as a stripper.' Clarissa giggled, but then she remembered that the oldest sibling was the reason that Adrian was alive. Well, he was of course partly the reason why he tried to kill himself but Apollo stood up and finally act like his age. He act rationally when she just cried and cried.


'Adrian Acher?! In the navy?!' Her voice filled with awe as she swatted his chest. 'I'm just trying to picture you in a uniform but I simply can't.' She continued to giggle. She knew he was something. The way he carried himself, but she never actually jumped to the conclusion that he could work in some government agency.


'Well, Deidrich is all locked up. He's far away and hopefully he'll stay there.' She pouted. As much as she was at fault why Adrian was hospitalized, Deidrich was the monster who fed Adrian's tendencies. 'I like this.' She moved a bit and rubbed Adrian's back. 'Tell me more, tell me somethingy about yourself that no one else knows,' Charlotte glance up, her eyes hoping that her boyfriend would share some more.

 

[Nixon Valent]

He rolled his eyes about the comment about him serving in the navy. "Well for your information because of connections my father has me and Apollo and someone else went into the navy seals. Apollo didn't make it through hell week." He snickered quietly. "Apollo believe it or not, psychically couldn't handle it. Mentally he was probably one of the toughest ones there starting out. He was a little shit at the time and didn't believe drill instructors when they screamed 'It pays to be a winner' and got over worked. Apollo quit half way through hell week. Hell week is the deal breaker for if your built for the Navy Seals or not, you work and get screamed at constantly you get about four hours of sleep. My dad served in it that's how he got his title with the government. I would still be serving now but on some mission the other person I went into the BUD/S program with got sent out on some mission he drowned, other members on that mission got shot down and I was one of the few that made it out alive. They sent me home after that, at the time my PTSD was horrible. When your laptop screamed that one day that's why I freaked out so badly. Honest to god I wanted to cry that day. It just triggered something in me."

 

[diwa]

Could that be? She thought quietly as she paid attention to him. He was so honest, and she didn't even spike his drink. Clarissa looked him in the eyes as he told her his story. Is PTSD could be one of the reasons he's into killing himself? She tried to ask herself. Clarissa felt a pang of pity towards Adrian which he probably doesn't need. She moved a bit, then she hugged him tightly. Her hands were wrapped around his back and neck. 'I love you. And I guess, I have to say i'm sorry for that day. I was running late.' She chuckled silently.

 

[Nixon Valent]

"I love you too. I got over it in like 20 minutes by the way, wasn't that bad. Dedrich messed around with it far more than you ever did. Purposely too. Anyway our mission would've went down fine if some idiot didn't mess up his left and rights. It was a stupid mistake, that kid got killed pretty damn fast. Blake who made it through the training with me drowned because he was suppose to pull a body into the lake we were around, that body never got shot and he couldn't go above water or he would have blew everyones cover. A lot more people would have lived if the kid with the gear saying we needed to have medics and back up didn't panic. He never should have been on that mission I could tell as soon as it started. The way its set up if they don't hear from the people they sent out after so long they send no one and assume they've all died. Eventually we got to his body and got people to pull us out of there but I'm sure you can imagine. That's why I have scars all over my body, they were all I had been shot at. They're small and faded so I don't know if you've ever noticed or not."

 

[diwa]

Clarissa sighed as she tightened her hug. 'I know this would.....sound so.... selfish.' She paused as she adjusted herself, 'but i'm glad... way beyond glad that you and your mission didn't exactly go as plan.' She moved away from his lap and sat across from him on the bed. 'Or else you'd still be there... and not with me. Though i'm pretty sure you're not going to be in this position if you haven't met me. So... I'm not sure which was better.' Clarissa said as she stared at her fist.