Fandom The Day The World Changed { The Last of Us 1x1 with icedthemoon }

[EquineGurl23]

Joshua and Jacob Smith
FEDRA Officer, FEDRA Civilian | 24, 30 | Current location ;; Seattle Quarantine Zone

Jacob was ashamed to admit that he jumped a little at the contact. Sure they’d shared a bed for a few nights already but his mind was still frazzled. Then he realized it was Soren when he heard his words and felt him pull him to his chest. “I’m sorry. I didn’t wake you up did I?” Jacob asked softly, resting the side of his head against Soren’s chest. He curled into his chest and wrapped his arms around him. Jacob could barely remember the entirety of his nightmares but the sadness and fear was still present in his body.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Hayden Gaines and Soren Truelson
FEDRA Civilian, FEDRA Officer | 24, 35 | Current location ;; Seattle Quarantine Zone

Did Jacob wake him up? Yes. Did he care in the slightest? No. He would stay up all night and wake up every thirty minutes if that was what he had to do. He did not react to the jump. He just held him close until he figured out where he was. He rubbed his back and ran a hand through his hair. “You’re okay,” he repeated. “It’s okay. Whatever you saw, it’s okay. I’ve got you.” This was one of so many reasons he wanted to make sure that Jacob stayed with him. After the first night after his mother, Soren knew that he could not leave Jacob alone. Not again.
​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Joshua and Jacob Smith
FEDRA Officer, FEDRA Civilian | 24, 30 | Current location ;; Seattle Quarantine Zone

Jacob felt the rub on his back and the hand through his hair as he breathed in and out. He held onto Soren's words, knowing that his partner had him. "Thank you." He breathed out, turning his face into Soren's chest. The scent and calm actions worked and his breathing returned to normal, his mind settling and his entire body relaxed. His muscles weren't as tense as they had been. "I'm.. better." He said softly, shifting his head so he could look at Soren, smiling at him gratefully. "So.. how long do I have you this morning before you need to leave again?" He asked quietly, not wanting Soren to leave any time soon.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Hayden Gaines and Soren Truelson
FEDRA Civilian, FEDRA Officer | 24, 35 | Current location ;; Seattle Quarantine Zone

Soren rubbed until Jacob calmed and then he kept rubbing anyway. He wanted to make sure that Jacob really was okay. He knew what it was like to lie to oneself. “Mm.” He turned to look at the time. “You’ve got me another hour. We could do whatever you need. We can go back to sleep if you’re still tired. We can stay up if you want.” He pressed a kiss to the top of his head. “We can talk or not. I could read to you.” He readjusted so they were sitting up better.
​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Joshua and Jacob Smith
FEDRA Officer, FEDRA Civilian | 24, 30 | Current location ;; Seattle Quarantine Zone

Jacob sighed softly as he heard Soren's words and smiled at the kiss to the top of his head. He wondered what he wanted to happen, and then the idea of being read to sounded wonderful. "Maybe we can start that book?" Jacob asked as he felt Soren readjust them. He didn't think he could get back to sleep anyway, the memory of the fear still lingered in the back of his mind.

Josh woke up a few minutes ago, holding onto Hayden still as he forget the things he dreamt about. Memories of sadness and emotions were there but he didn't let them linger. He had no idea what would happen today but he wanted to enjoy this hour with Hayden.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Hayden Gaines and Soren Truelson
FEDRA Civilian, FEDRA Officer | 24, 35 | Current location ;; Seattle Quarantine Zone

“Reading it is.” Soren reached over and grabbed the book from the nightstand as well as turned on the little lamp so that they could see better. Thank goodness for generators. He was not sure if that would last forever, but he could hope. He could hope for a lot of things. He wrapped his arm around Jacob and held the book between them. He opened it up and began to what would be a something they did very many nights.

Hayden was in and out of sleep for the entire night. As Josh awoke, he was trapped in a dream that scared him just as much as all of his dreams did now. He was still as he slept, and when his eyes shot open, he gasped only once and hoped that did not wake his partner. He spent so much of his time trying not to wake Josh. He managed to succeed so far. But this one was a culminating dream of the many he had that night, and his breath shuddered as he tried to remain silent. His eyes grew rapidly blurry with tears he tried not to let fall.
​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Joshua and Jacob Smith
FEDRA Officer, FEDRA Civilian | 24, 30 | Current location ;; Seattle Quarantine Zone

A smile grew on his face as he watched Soren grab the book and turn on the lamp. He was thankful for generators as well. He curled close to Soren as he looked at the book that Soren held in between them, head resting on his chest.

Josh heard the gasp and his eyes widened as he looked at Hayden. That shuddering breath drew Josh to hold him closer to him. "Hey baby, I'm right here. Shh. Let it out." Josh said softly, sensing that the dreams that had woken him up were terrible ones. Joshua had not noticed that Hayden had been in and out of sleep at all, and was trying to sooth him from a dream he thought that Hayden had just experienced.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Hayden Gaines and Soren Truelson
FEDRA Civilian, FEDRA Officer | 24, 35 | Current location ;; Seattle Quarantine Zone

Hayden sucked in a deep breath as his entire body shook in the wake of his nightmare. The moment he heard Josh’s voice, there was no point in pretending anymore. He let out one sob that wracked through his body, and it woke the rest. His fingers tore through the fabric of sheets to find the fabric of Josh’s clothes and pinched at his skin as he clung to him like the lifeline that he was. Hayden was drowning, and he hoped that Josh could reel him back in. Drowning in the death that tormented his soul in his sleep. In his waking. Always. “Josh,” he croaked between sobs as he cried against him. He didn’t wail. Not this time. He had been doing this too long in the night for that. He couldn’t say any more than that.
​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Joshua and Jacob Smith
FEDRA Officer, FEDRA Civilian | 24, 30 | Current location ;; Seattle Quarantine Zone

Josh heard that deep breath, and felt his body shaking in his arms. That sob drilled into Josh's heart as he rubbed his back. Josh could feel fingers grabbing his clothes, his skin and Josh wrapped his arms as tight as he could around Hayden. "Hayden. Beautiful. Come on, come back to me." Josh murmured, hearing him sob against him. He just started humming, hoping that he could distract him, reel him back in. Josh wasn't sure what else to do, and it hurt. He used to be so good at helping his partner but.. something had changed and he wasn't sure what anymore. But it wasn't just the world that had changed.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Hayden Gaines and Soren Truelson
FEDRA Civilian, FEDRA Officer | 24, 35 | Current location ;; Seattle Quarantine Zone

Come back to me. To Josh. To everything bright and beautiful and good in the world. Everything that mattered the most. Everything that saved him from hurting. From the pain. There was so much pain. His body curled inward as much as possible with such a tight grip. He reached for his voice, gripped at his vocal cords, and willed enough sound to push through the cries so that he could speak. “Who-“ he choked, “who’s left?” Both of their parents were gone. Their neighbors were gone. Last they saw Logan, he was fine, but was he still fine if at the same time they saw him, they also saw Lucas? What about Kyra? Was she gone too? He watched her die, decay, and deform in his dreams plenty of times for him to no longer know what was reality and what was not. They had Jacob. They had Soren. But for how long? They also had Lucas, and now they didn’t. They had them all, and they were all dead. He could see them.
​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Joshua and Jacob Smith
FEDRA Officer, FEDRA Civilian | 24, 30 | Current location ;; Seattle Quarantine Zone

Josh heard the choked out words and clenched his teeth. "We have Logan, Kyra, you and I, Jacob, Soren. And we also now have Kaiden, and Theo too." Josh said, his voice loud enough to be heard but not too loud. He kissed the top of Hayden's head as he laid there. "You will always have us. Today, I plan on searching for Logan and Kyra." He added, knowing that he needed to get to his brother. And he was determined to find Hayden's sister.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Hayden Gaines and Soren Truelson
FEDRA Civilian, FEDRA Officer | 24, 35 | Current location ;; Seattle Quarantine Zone

The list was longer than his brain expected. Despite knowing who they had, he still could not see passed who they didn’t. He breathed. “You can do that?” Hayden had assumed that there was only so much that Josh could do now that he was conscripted into this military force that was trying to save the world. Supposedly. How could they be saving the world when they killed so many? Hayden didn’t know how many, but he knew it was enough. He knew it was at least two who shouldn’t die. People who were saving them by putting them in apartments with nothing. Giving them nothing. Rations. They got rations. Not enough. Rations were not enough for everyone. For children. He bit back the bitterness he felt. It was the grief. He knew it was the grief. It had to be the grief. He would move past that. “Can you bring them home to us?” Hayden pulled his head up so that he could look at Josh. Really stare into those eyes. Plead where he could see the reaction. He needed reassurance.
​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Joshua and Jacob Smith
FEDRA Officer, FEDRA Civilian | 24, 30 | Current location ;; Seattle Quarantine Zone

Josh heard his words and thought about it for a moment. Could he do that? He was already making friends with the higher ups so could he? Probably. "I can." He replied. Josh looked at Hayden when he pulled his head up. "I can bring them home. Both of them." Josh promised, locking his eyes with Hayden's and a small smile on his face. He would do everything he could to bring both Logan and Kyra home. He didn't know where he'd house them but he'd find a way.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Hayden Gaines and Soren Truelson
FEDRA Civilian, FEDRA Officer | 24, 35 | Current location ;; Seattle Quarantine Zone

Hayden searched those eyes, and he believed Josh. He believed that Josh would find a way to bring their family home. He knew it in his heart that Josh could save them from this horrible world. If anyone could, it was him. Tears glistened on his cheeks, but he ignored them as he tilted his chin up and kissed the man who would never do them wrong. Never. He knew Josh. He knew him so well. Any doubts he had were not Josh’s fault. Hayden hated that part of him that was so afraid that it shoved that fear on Josh. He did not deserve that. All he ever did was protect them. Fight for them. “I know you will.” He puffed out a breath. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I- It’s just so hard.” He smiled, because he trusted Josh more than anyone else. He touched his cheek. “But you can save them. My hero.”
​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Joshua and Jacob Smith
FEDRA Officer, FEDRA Civilian | 24, 30 | Current location ;; Seattle Quarantine Zone

Josh looked at Hayden and he bit his lip, seeing those tears on his cheeks. Josh smiled into the kiss as one hand went up to his cheeks and wiped his tears off his cheeks. He heard those words, and swallowed hard. Yeah. Hero? He was no hero. Joshua was a coward, he killed his father and his partner's mother. But he didn't mention that. "You don't have to be sorry baby, it's okay." He said with a small smile. "I'll save them." Josh confirmed, nodding his head before he kissed Hayden again, gently.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Hayden Gaines and Soren Truelson
FEDRA Civilian, FEDRA Officer | 24, 35 | Current location ;; Seattle Quarantine Zone

Hayden was terrified. He had been terrified for days, though for a couple of hours, he was almost okay the day before. He was terrified, but right now, he had a shield. Nothing could touch him while he had a knight to save him. A champion. A champion of an organization that killed his mother. Hayden’s breath caught as he kissed Josh. A military government that had yet to ask them if they were alright. He froze. But not Josh. Even when he swung the bat that cracked against neighbors’ heads. No. Not his Joshua. “I know.” Hayden kissed him deeper, using it to hide himself from the wrongness of the world. The horror of what he knew was through that door. If he couldn’t see the door, then maybe it wasn’t real.
​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Joshua and Jacob Smith
FEDRA Officer, FEDRA Civilian | 24, 30 | Current location ;; Seattle Quarantine Zone

Josh heard those words, and he just had to have hope that he'd find his brother and his sister alive. He didn't know what would happen if he didn't. No, don't think about that right now. They're both fine, Logan probably never even left the house. Josh tried his hardest to push these emotions away, to keep himself put together and whole for Hayden. He kissed him back deeper, knowing that he'd have to go and knowing that he'd ask to search and hope that they would allow him too.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Hayden Gaines and Soren Truelson
FEDRA Civilian, FEDRA Officer | 24, 35 | Current location ;; Seattle Quarantine Zone

Hayden kissed him like if he stopped, he would lose Josh forever. It felt like that. It felt like the connection between them was wavering, and he knew it was his fault. He knew it was because he was struggling to fully grasp everything around him. He was his own barrier. So he pushed as far away from it as possible. He buried his mind in the hope that Josh could be his last chance. He pushed himself up so that he could better wrap his arms around Josh. He needed him to feel that desperation disguised as love.
​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Joshua and Jacob Smith
FEDRA Officer, FEDRA Civilian | 24, 30 | Current location ;; Seattle Quarantine Zone

Josh held onto Hayden as he kissed him, putting love and hopefully safety into the kiss. He felt Hayden shift so he could wrap his arms around him. Josh held onto him and tried to ignore the fact that he had to leave soon. Josh broke the kiss and pressed his forehead to Hayden's. "I love you. So much. And I am going to bring our family home to us." Joshua kissed him again, just as deeply and full of promise.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Hayden Gaines and Soren Truelson
FEDRA Civilian, FEDRA Officer | 24, 35 | Current location ;; Seattle Quarantine Zone

Hearing that was like the world coming back into place. If they still shared their love, then everything could be okay. Right? They could survive anything with each other. Right? Anything. He was just about to respond. He loved him too. He loved him more than all the world. Everything that was left in it. That broke his concentration, and his lips quivered at Josh’s last kiss. It was almost- no, it was enough to pull him back in. Distract him from everything. Everything but the fact that if Josh was telling him again that he was going to bring home their family, that Josh had to go. Again. He did not kiss him back. His lips hung in the air between them as he let himself fall away. “You’re leaving?” His voice was little and battered from the crying. It had to be soon. The time when Josh had to go.They could not be so lucky to have them for as long as the morning prior when they came back so early the night before.
​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Joshua and Jacob Smith
FEDRA Officer, FEDRA Civilian | 24, 30 | Current location ;; Seattle Quarantine Zone

Josh felt his heart crack a little when Hayden did not kiss him back. Did he do something.. oh. He had to go. That little voice made the crack in his heart worsen, and then it was filled in by something hard. Ice growing to protect his heart. Changing, twisting inside him. No. "In a few minutes." Josh replied, and then as if it was a last ditch attempt to stop the ice from covering his heart, he kissed Hayden deeper, almost desperately before he pulled away. "I'll be back." Josh replied. "I'll be back and I'll have our family with me."​

 

[icedthemoon]

Hayden Gaines and Soren Truelson
FEDRA Civilian, FEDRA Officer | 24, 35 | Current location ;; Seattle Quarantine Zone

The tears were already coming back. His eye lids were filled with them as Josh answered. As he kissed him. But the kiss was over too soon. Hayden receded. He slipped away from Josh’s grip. He sunk into the blankets. He disappeared, because it was easier to do that than to live in this present. He hated it there. He closed his eyes, and by the time he was shooting them back open to rid himself of what he saw in the dark, the tears fell down his face. “I don’t want you to go.” He reached out a hand to take Josh’s. He knew this would not work. It was like any other day, he told himself. Like going to work. There were days they wanted to stay at home and be together, but they still had to work. They had to live. This was just like that.
​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Joshua and Jacob Smith
FEDRA Officer, FEDRA Civilian | 24, 30 | Current location ;; Seattle Quarantine Zone

The tears in Hayden's eyes made Josh's heart both crack and ice over. No.. No.. He watched as Hayden slipped away from him, sunk into the blankets. Don't do that, don't close your eyes to me. He felt the hand take his, and he squeezed it gently. "I don't want to go either baby, but I'm doing this for you and for everyone else." He replied, kissing the hand before dropping it. He slipped off the bed and got dressed for the day, looking at Hayden on the bed. "When I find Logan and Kyra, I'll be back for you. You can see them again." Josh said, walking over and kissed Hayden one more time before he pulled back and got ready to go.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Hayden Gaines and Soren Truelson
FEDRA Civilian, FEDRA Officer | 24, 35 | Current location ;; Seattle Quarantine Zone

Doing this for him. And the family. And the world. Josh was doing this for Hayden, and it was breaking him. Hayden’s hand dropped against him as Josh left the bed. Hayden’s hand went right back up, following the moving form of his very best friend. The man who was supposed to be his husband one day. But Josh was looking away. He was getting dressed to leave Hayden again. Run into the dangerous world to save everyone. Find their family. Hayden had not moved by the time Josh kissed him one last time. Again, it felt like they were saying goodbye to never see each other again. Why did it feel like that every time he left? “Don’t-“ his voice was so small and weak that he was not even sure Josh could hear him as he walked to that door. He did not try to continue the words. They would fall on places that could not listen. They would only hurt him more. He did not even move. He just stayed there on the bed, covered in as much blanket as he could manage.

Soren pulled on his last boot before walking back to the bed to capture Jacob’s face in his hands and kiss him again. He may have stolen several of those while they were reading. He may have stolen several more when they weren’t reading anymore because he was supposed to be getting ready to go. And he may or may not have needed to put these clothes on at least ten minutes before that, but it was fine. “Good luck on your day.” He smiled into another kiss. “I’ll be back at some point. Who knows with the way things are going. And I am going to find answers for us. We are going to find your brother. We are going to find as much as we can for everyone here. We are going to find a way to go see if we can scavenge your old apartment. I am finding answers if I have to demand them from the General himself by probably using Josh as leverage.” He laughed. “Alright, I really should go. He’s probably waiting on me.”
​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Joshua and Jacob Smith
FEDRA Officer, FEDRA Civilian | 24, 30 | Current location ;; Seattle Quarantine Zone

Josh did not hear that word, though by choice or just because it was so weak, even he wasn't so sure. But he knew he had to go, had to leave. And so he did, he walked out of the bedroom, through to the door and pulled his boots on. Josh swallowed hard, and looked back at the bedroom before he left the apartment, the door closing loud as it echoed in the hallway. He leaned against the hallway wall, waiting for Soren as he felt that ice creeping into his heart, his veins, his.. everything.

Jacob chuckled as he felt the hands capture his face and kissed him back for what felt like the millionth time this morning alone. He had already had several kisses between reading and when Soren was getting dressed. "Good luck yourself." He replied, smiling at another kiss. "I'm going to hold you too that, and let Josh be used as leverage. He's good at that." Jacob laughed as he heard Soren laugh. "Yea, go save the world with my brother and find the rest of the family. But be safe. I don't want to spend my evenings patching you up. Got it?" Jacob asked from where he sat on the bed, blanket over his legs.​