~The Other Side: An Original Urban Fantasy Adventure!~

SkyGinge said:
@M4K3SH1FT : The rules say no one-liners and also to put detail in when its due. Your posts, especially your last one, have been uniformly too short. Please work on putting a little more effort and detail into them to match the length the rules state. I have deleted your most recent post and will ask you to try again.
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OK ill put in more detail... sorry :)


 
Sorry if that post is still too short i really couldn't find anything else to put in there.
 
@M4KESH1FT : Belle and Ricky were outside, so he wouldn't have been able to see what went on their through several brick walls XP
 
M4K3SH1FT said:
"It's always an accident with me isn't it ?" Lauri responded putting on his signature grin. Lauri chuckled a bit and then turned his head to Daxter " Oh, hi Daxter Didn't notice 'ya.". Lauri was just about to say something when he heard commotion coming from somewhere near Bell. He was now visibly confused, but when he heard what they were talking about he was visibly irritated " Someone gonna sort that out?" he grumbled pointing at Belle and Ricky.
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And also the issue was already solved, Jack came to the rescue ^^
 
@M4K3SH1FT : Apologies; I keep on getting your tag wrong :( Anyhow, you could have had him react to all of the others he's just met in a little more detail, for example. Like commenting on Cammy like Cojemo did, or having him have a little bit of thought about the small group.
 
SkyGinge said:
@M4K3SH1FT : Apologies; I keep on getting your tag wrong :( Anyhow, you could have had him react to all of the others he's just met in a little more detail, for example. Like commenting on Cammy like Cojemo did, or having him have a little bit of thought about the small group.
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Yeah i'm editing it right now... sorry.


 
I'll also read a bit more better nex time
 
Just as a general announcement, you'll all have noticed that some of us have been tagging those we are speaking to at the ends of our posts. If you don't already do that, you probably should, just to make it easier to know which posts want you to reply and which aren't refering to your character. This will stop everybody from having to read through every single post as your characters wouldn't neccesarily see everything that happens anyway. Cheers!
 
AikoMomone said:
Mayumi looked at Ricky as he stumbled out. After he left, she looked at Jack and the picture he was holding. She didn't hear anything he had said to him. "What did he show him to make him leave?", she pondered. " Maybe the rumors saying that he blackmails people with is camera are true... Well, now that that's been settled... " she glanced over at Lauri. "I need to try to get closer to Lauri! Perhaps one drink wouldn't hurt..."
Mayumi went over to a cooler full of cans of beer with ice in it to keep them cold. She picked one out and then slowly pulled back the pin to open it. "Here goes nothing..." She took a deep breath before guzzling down almost half the can. "Not bad..." She then walked over to Lauri
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So Ricky was inside for a brief moment and then the whole thing happened outside. ^^ Belle and Jack only just walked in once Ricky ran home.
 
@M4K3SH1FT : I know it's only happened because you editted out the stuff that was wrong, but now yourpost is far too short again XP Remember, describe!


@AikoMomone: Alcoholic drinks would be served at the bar, not kept in a cooler like you've put. Additionally, they'd only serve them to an 18 year old, so if your character wants a drink they'd have to either try and trick the barmen (they are pretty lax in there) or get an older character to buy them one. Also, like Cloudy just pointed out, the whole thing with Ricky happened outside so she wouldn't have noticed it. Please edit your post.
 
cloudyblueday said:
So Ricky was inside for a brief moment and then the whole thing happened outside. ^^ Belle and Jack only just walked in once Ricky ran home.
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Lol sorry about that! I'll edit it so it makes sense!
 
@M4K3SH1FT : Aiko tagged you and spoke to your character in the post above. Also, actions should be described instead of written in *'s. For example:


GOOD: 'Lauri pointed over at Axel.'


BAD: *points*
 
SkyGinge said:
@M4K3SH1FT : Aiko tagged you and spoke to your character in the post above. Also, actions should be described instead of written in *'s. For example:
GOOD: 'Lauri pointed over at Axel.'


BAD: *points*
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OK sorry didn't know that... I'm a real noob aren't i ? xD
 
@M4K3SH1FT : Well, we've all got to learn some time XP Sorry if it feels like I'm on your case, but you also didn't edit your previous post when I asked you to again. I'll let you off this time, but if you do so again in future, I will just delete the post and you'll have to do it again.
 
M4K3SH1FT said:
"It's always an accident with me isn't it ?" Lauri responded putting on his signature grin. Lauri chuckled a bit and then turned his head to Daxter " Oh, hi Daxter Didn't notice 'ya."
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You editted it to make it longer but then removed some stuff because it was wrong and stuff it got shorter again. I tagged you in this thread telling you about it.
 
That's fine, but remember you still have your most recent post to edit too: '


@M4K3SH1FT : Aiko tagged you and spoke to your character in the post above. Also, actions should be described instead of written in *'s. For example:


GOOD: 'Lauri pointed over at Axel.'


BAD: *points''





You need to edit to respond to Aiko and also to change that incorrect action stuff.
 
SkyGinge said:
That's fine, but remember you still have your most recent post to edit too: '
@M4K3SH1FT : Aiko tagged you and spoke to your character in the post above. Also, actions should be described instead of written in *'s. For example:


GOOD: 'Lauri pointed over at Axel.'


BAD: *points''





You need to edit to respond to Aiko and also to change that incorrect action stuff.
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I'm on the case!


 
Done. made a mistake while editing fixed mistake while editing!
 
@M4K3SH1FT and @AikoMomone : You two are still very much on the borderline of the post limit. Please, try and just put a bit more detail into your posts. They don't have to be multiple paragraphs long like some of the other posts, but they could definitely do with a little more accompanying detail. I don't want to be on your case the whole time but if the posts don't comply to the detail rules I'm afraid I'll have to be.


Anyhow, almost everyone has posted which is good! I'll be slowly moving the plot on now, though we'll remain in the party scenario long enough for everybody to get some good interaction at it first. @Ozerath I suggest you don't read through everything when you get back, but instead read my first post and then the last page or so just to get a vague idea of what's going on :)
 
SkyGinge said:
@M4K3SH1FT and @AikoMomone : You two are still very much on the borderline of the post limit. Please, try and just put a bit more detail into your posts. They don't have to be multiple paragraphs long like some of the other posts, but they could definitely do with a little more accompanying detail. I don't want to be on your case the whole time but if the posts don't comply to the detail rules I'm afraid I'll have to be.
Anyhow, almost everyone has posted which is good! I'll be slowly moving the plot on now, though we'll remain in the party scenario long enough for everybody to get some good interaction at it first. @Ozerath I suggest you don't read through everything when you get back, but instead read my first post and then the last page or so just to get a vague idea of what's going on :)
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Sorry about that! I'll try to add more detail to my posts!
 
Got one last post in before I go, we're getting chinese food :D Like, not take-out! (Got nothing against take-out though) I'll be back in a few hours, and will be keeping tabs on my phone. :)
 
@M4K3SH1FT : I've seen no change in post size since I issued my last warning. Please, write more detail into your posts. Aim for about the size of Allcure's last post. I feel like I've repeated myself enough now so next time I'll have to issue a formal caution.
 
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