Realistic or Modern ✫ 𝚜𝚞𝚗𝚛𝚒𝚜𝚎, 𝚜𝚞𝚗𝚜𝚎𝚝. ✫ [myah ‘n nicknacks].

[Zyrelle]

“𝐒𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝.”
​

Eyes the colour of the ocean blinked back at the girl in the mirror, her skin as white as the fresh blanket of snow that covered the streets, her lips pulled into a thin line as she surveyed the almost ghost-like girl of her reflection. She was dying, she understood that, she was fine with that. Her parents, however, were a different story. They weren’t. Of course they weren’t fine with watching their little girl wither away into nothing, not so close after they had lost their only son, at least.

It only took them a few - failed - attempts before the brunette was forced into the building. The building that would become her home for the next sixteen months, the building that supposedly held talented individuals who were going to fix her, as if she needed fixing. She didn’t fit in here, despite the fact that the place apparently contained a bunch of crazy ass people, who were just like her, she didn’t fit in. The young blonde woman cleared her throat, gaining the attention of Faye.

“Faye Lockhart, I assume?”

She didn’t nod. The nurse already knew the answer, why did she need it to be spoken? Why did she need that confirmation? Had she been expecting some other nutter? Besides the immediate distaste she held for the nurse, she seemed..somewhat nice. She had a sweet face, at least, that much she knew.

“Come with me, Faye.”

And for once, she did. She followed after the woman who couldn’t of been older than twenty five, hitching her backpack higher up her shoulder. She had been stubborn and refused to pack more than a backpack full of items, her father had spoken something about how he would drop the rest of her stuff off for her in the upcoming weeks, she hadn’t listened. She never did when it came to them. It was their fault.

“This is your room, you do have a roommate but she’s an absolute sweetheart, I think you’ll love her!”

Realising she probably wasn’t going to get anywhere with the young girl, she let out a sigh, before stepping out of the door. “You have your first therapy session in the morning, until then, the common room is open until 10pm, by which, you should be in bed - we found curfews keep most of the residents at bay.” She didn’t know why she explained, she just felt like it was something she had to do.

It wasn’t until the door slammed shut, that Faye dropped her bag onto the small bed rocked up against the corner of the wall, she assumed this was her bed, considering it had nothing on it. She fell onto the soft mattress, letting out a quiet huff. This was exactly what she fucking needed. She needed her mirror, a mirror that had been taken off of her. A scan of the room had been the first thing she did, and not once, did she see the small glass heaven that always betrayed her. They knew, and they had removed it from the room.

Fuck them. Fuck them. Fuck them.

Too deep in her thoughts and self loathing, she hadn’t realised anybody entered the room until she heard a gleeful gasp. Her gaze flickered towards the petite redhead standing with her hand on the door handle.

“Oh!” She grinned, showcasing a set of white pearly teeth. “You must be Faye! I’m Candece, your roommate! But everybody calls me candy.”

She must’ve noticed the way Faye’s brow raised at the nickname, because she cracked an almost genuine laugh, shaking her head. “I know, I know! It sounds like something a stripper would call themselves, believe me, I didn’t give myself the nickname.” She waltzed through the threshold, closing the door behind her.

“Right,” Faye murmured, turning her gaze away from the girl. She seemed nice, definitely an ideal roommate, she seemed...normal too, what was she doing here?

“Can I unpack your bag?”

The sudden random question caught the brunettes attention, her gaze snapping towards Candece. “Huh?”

“I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder,” she explained through a wry smile, her shoulder lifting in a half assed shrug. “Commonly known as OCD, it’s nothing against you, I just prefer to have everything done...my way.”

There it is. No, having OCD doesn’t make you a crazy person, or a nutter, at least, not to her it doesn’t. But out in the real world? In society? It does. If you do something that isn’t deemed normal or suffer from something people with closed minds can’t fathom, you’re weird. That’s just the way it worked, unfortunately for Faye, she wasn’t strong enough to withstand that.

“Oh, uh, right.” She fumbled, gently pushing her bag closer to the redhead. “Go ahead.”

Her eyes lit up, as if she were merely a child on Christmas morning, she eagerly clawed at the bag, before pulling the wardrobe open. “So,” she started, casting a glance over her shoulder. “Want me to tell you ‘bout some of the people you’ll be livin’ with?”

Did she want to know? Truthfully, she hadn’t planned on interacting with anybody, and honestly, she wouldn’t really have any reason to leave her room if she weren’t going to eat, what else would they go to the common room for? But, this girl, Candece, seemed excited to share the pointless information, and she didn’t have the heart to shoot her down.

“Yeah, I guess.”

She cleared her throat, pulling the shirt onto a hanger. “Okay, so, there’s Hayleigh, she suffers from very strong Post traumatic stress disorder, she spends the majority of her day in her room, or sitting by the window, sometimes crying, She, uh, killed her baby.” The subject of the young mother had always been touchy, she didn’t mean to kill her baby, at least, that’s what she insisted every time someone brought it up - apparently, she couldn’t help herself.

“Then there’s Hardin, he has major anger issues, like they’re insanely bad, do not get on his bad side, apart from that though, he’s actually a very sweet guy.” She shrugged, a small smile on her lips. She was witnesses of both his change of moods, hell, she had even suffered a black eye because of his anger. He hadn’t meant to hit her though, she was protecting someone else.

“There’s Bailey, she’s an arsonist. I know what you’re thinking ‘why does that make her crazy?’ But it does, believe me, well, she’s not crazy, I don’t believe in that word, but, if I did, she would be it. Do not give her a lighter, or matches, I don’t really know what you’d be doing with them, yourself, but.”

“Next we have Jackson, he’s a sociopath, he doesn’t feel, he doesn’t care. Not the best person to form any kind of relationship with.” She knew this better than anyone. “But, he’s a pretty decent guy, really funny too. You’ll love him.”

“You’ll never really see much of Zyrelle, she uh, gets scared pretty easily, if that’s what you can call it - she suffers from bad anxiety, hardly ever socially interacts with any of us, so don’t take it personal.”

She finished hanging up the clothes, turning to the girl with a tight lipped smile. “There’s more, but, you should meet them all for yourself - would you like to go down to the common room with me? We haven’t had a newcomer in a while, I’m sure everybody would love to meet you!”

 

[NickNacks]

​

Blurry. That was how the world had felt when Axel had woken up in the clinic, almost three weeks ago this time. He could recall very little of the episode, only flashes that made little to no sense-a memory of standing at a rooftop, at staring fixedly at the ceiling. Of being convinced he could fly. That euphoria and danger was gone by now, long since erased by the staff's skilled hands. The people here had come to know him very well, and every time he was readmitted, they told Axel the same thing-that it was nobody's fault but his own.

They were right, technically speaking. Axel was the one who was responsible for his own actions, and when those actions didn't include taking his medication, he paid the price for it every time. Still, there was a stubborn and almost hateful streak that no state-appointed psychiatrist had been able to rub out of him yet. That was the streak that told him, deceitfully, that perhaps this time, it would be different. He would be cured, that he would gain the ability to do something amazing. That he would return home noticed, loved.

"Where are you thoughts at, today, Axel?"

His gaze remained listless, focused on the small line of cars passing by the window of his therapist's office. From the high floor, they looked like Hot Wheels or something. He felt the urge to crack the window open, not to do anything crazy, just for some fresh air, but he know it would be no use. They were bolted shut-all the windows were.

"Jupiter."

His therapist, a kind woman with greying hair, smiled with unfailing patience.They had done this dance together for many years, Axel and Dr. Greene. Ever since he'd first been admitted as a kid, scared and disoriented. "And how's the weather up there?"

Her voice is kind, almost maternal, and the thought makes him recoil slightly. The sense of drowsiness, constantly lurking in the back of his skull, tugs at his focus.

"Cold."
------------

His roommate doesn't look up when he comes in, but that doesn't surprise him. Jackson only sometimes registers his existence, though he's not much of a bad person when he does. Axel has learned pretty quickly not to expect much in the way of friendship with the guy, but that's no issue-friendships that were made in this place never lasted long anyway. Besides, it was better than the previous time he was checked in-at that time, there had been a shortage of beds, and he'd been forced to room with Hardin. He'd checked out of the facility looking like a raccoon.

"How's your head?" Axel asks, flopping back onto his bed.

The response is flat. "Screwed on."

Good enough. Axel tried a couple of times to ask the guy what he had done to be landed in here, but to no avail. He didn't know what the point of keeping secrets here was-you could always find somebody who'd done something worse than you. It was kind of comforting, in a weird way.

The janitor hadn't let Axel keep his guitar in his room, which was a shame. He could see the issues-the potential to fashion the strings into a weapon, or something like that-but it would've been nice to practice by himself, rather than in the rec room where everybody stared at him. In this place, where the routine was so asphyxiating, your hobbies were pretty limited, and music was probably one of the few things that had kept Axel sane over the years. As he could recall, it was one of the few things he and his father had in common.

The instrument is waiting in the corner when he goes down the stairs, black and shiny. A tiny smile crosses his face, and he offers a silent thanks to Rick, the janitor whom Axel had always gotten along with. The six-string had been a gift from an Uncle who Axel rarely had the chance to visit with, and it had taken a lot of time to learn how to place it. Still, despite the dents in his fingers and the subsequent blistering, Axel had managed.

He's halfway through trying to remember the second verse of "Blackbird" when the new girl walks in.

On instinct, Axel begins the checklist. She's thin, to the point where it seems like it takes energy to walk, so his first thought is paranoia or some kind of food aversion. She doesn't have the shifty eyes though, so maybe that's wrong. Something else, then? At any rate, Candece seemed not to be very put-off by her, so Axel figures she must be okay.

He turns back to the guitar. The next chord he plays comes out with a sharp sounding twang. Becoming re-adjusted to his meds has made his fingers clumsy and slow.

He'll have to try again.

He always does.

 

[Zyrelle]

​

Anorexia was nothing like movies and shows would show you. People suffering from anorexia didn’t have beautiful skin, or energy for days, their hair wasn‘t as luscious as the actresses made out. No, Anorexia was heart wrenchingly fucked. Sometimes, it hurt to walk, other days, you could barely even climb out of bed. You were literally wasting away, rotting from the inside out. It wasn’t beautiful. It was soul destroying.

Still, no matter how thin she seemed, one glance around the room at the different girls, made her feel fat, disgusting, worthless. God, they were so beautiful. She must’ve looked like a goddamn rat compared to them. She must’ve counted at least, ten different people. Which, in hindsight, wasn’t bad at all. She had never been good with big groups of people, small groups had always been better.

Hadn’t her mother mentioned something about how small the community was? Or something like that, at least.

“This is the common room!” Candece cheered, bouncing on the balls of her feet. It was unhealthy, how seemingly happy she was. How could anybody be happy in a place like this?

“Right,” Faye muttered, shifting from one foot to another, it wasn’t until somebody cleared their throat that her gaze flickered towards the source of sound.

It took the redhead a few minutes to snap out of her daze, before her eyes widened in realisation. “Oh, shit, sorry! Forgot to introduce you to people.” A nervous laugh fell from her lips before she spun on her heel, nodding in the direction of the boy sitting on the table, why? She had no idea, nor did she care.

“Hardin, this is Faye.“ Hardin didn’t say much, none of them were big talkers at first, truthfully. It had taken weeks for anybody to form a conversation with Candece at first.

“What’s your problem then? You don’t seem crazy.” Ironically, it wasn’t Hardin that spoke, it was Bailey.

“Bailey!” Hardin snapped his gaze towards the blonde, a scowl on his lips. “We’ve talked about this - you can’t just ask people that!”

“What? I Just wanna know why she’s in here, don’t you?“

Bailey and Hardin had a...complicated relationship to say the least, there’s not much an arsonist and angry son of a bitch can do in a relationship before somebody sets fire to something, though, everybody had their bets on Hardin, surprisingly. They believed him to be the one to blow up, first.

“None of your business,” Faye murmured, not as uncomfortable with the situation as she should be, she just didn't believe she had a problem. She wanted to be beautiful, what was so wrong with that?

 

[NickNacks]

​

Though the young adults gathered in the common area looked different from one person to the next, all of them seemed to have one thing in common. They were worn out. Most of them had been through things other people, even the staff who worked with them, could scarcely understand. Axel sank back in his chair, tiredly picking at the steel strings, no longer playing any cohesive song in particular. It was a process of trying to find the song again. Trying to find himself again.

After a few sour notes, he could feel the dim sense of frustration building, and he set the instrument down in favor of observing the interactions going on around him. He wasn't one to talk very often, though he did on occasion-more likely, though, it was usually a better idea to stay as far away from conflict as he could. He didn't need to go back to find his mattress had been set on fire or something.

You don't seem crazy.

The blunt comment forced Axel to muffle a snicker into the palm of his hand. Seeming crazy was a poor judgement to go on, especially for someone like Bailey. He avoided her as much as possible-mostly because he was concerned that Hardin might perceive any interatction as flirtation on Axel's part, and use that as an excuse to punch his lights out. For all the mandated exercise, Axel wasn't very muscular. That was a nice way of putting it.

At least the new girl seemed to be able to hold her own. That would set her on a good path, hopefully. Or perhaps she would only end up being here a few weeks, before vanishing off into the sunset. Or take a flying leap off the roof. It had happened before.

"Save it for group therapy," he offered from his perch on the chair, in regards to the hamfisted attempt to wrestle whatever Faye's condition was out of the conversation. The sentence devolved into a low yawn. Axel still wasn't used to the drowsiness yet.

 

[Zyrelle]

Save it for group therapy.

That was the first time Faye actually noticed Axel, she learnt that pretty quickly, people only ever let themselves be seen when they wanted to be seen. She knew, because she had been one of them, her entire life.

Bailey huffed, rolling her pale green eyes. “Come on, Axel, don’t you wanna know, too?“ To be fair, she wasn’t too sure why she was so hooked on knowing what was wrong with the woman before her, maybe it was the ever growing need of wanting somebody to be more crazily fucked up than she is. She wasn’t just an arsonist.

“That’s enough, Bails.” Hardin spoke up, gently tugging her by the arm, and away from the two teens. As weird as their duo was, they learnt a long time ago, that the two of them were only capable of calming the other down. If anybody else tried? They’d unravel further. Sometimes, good things do come out of bad situations.

Candece blew out a breath, before turning her gaze onto Axel. “Tired?” She grinned, throwing a glance over her shoulder at the brunette. “Don’t feel rushed, If you don’t want anybody to know, that’s your decision.” And it was, but, everybody would find out eventually, they always did. This place was like a cozy, fucked up, little family, they knew everything about everyone.

Perhaps it was that train of thought that convinced Faye to speak up, shifting from one foot to another. “I have Major depressive disorder, and I don’t like eating,” she mused, offering a wry smile before shrugging her shoulders. She never told anybody she had anorexia, she hated the word. It made things seem real, seem so much more worse than they actually were.

Candece’s smile faltered slightly, her gaze raking over her figure. How had she not realised that before? She cleared her throat, plastering on another smile. “Well, you’re in the right place, haven’t you heard? They fix us here.”

 

[NickNacks]

​

Being addressed wasn't exactly a rarity, but it happened just rarely enough that he felt a flicker of surprise when Bailey looked over at him. It wasn't that he was scared of her or Hardin (well, just a little of Hardin), but he'd learned long ago that there was no predictable way to measure interactions with the other kids in here. He knew it himself-he'd seen footage of his face during an episode. The smile that had been on his face had been just....creepy seemed like the only word. Forced and pained, not reaching his eyes, which had been clouded over with detachment from reality. He remembered little when he got that way, but what he did remember wasn't positive. Not in the least.

At any rate, it wasn't long before the two made their exit, which didn't surprise Axel. They were often off in their own world together, and that was fine. In a way, he almost envied their companionship. Try as he might to wrack his brain, he'd probably never had a long term friend before, let alone anything more. When you were famous in your hometown for all the wrong reasons, and kind of connection was hard to get.

And speaking of connection, there was Candece, bright and cheery in a way that gave him a headache. He offered a mute shrug in response to her question. He was always tired. But he forced himself to remember that it was probably a good thing. Bad things happened when you didn't sleep for too long, just as bad things happened when you didn't eat for too long-and judging by Faye's mention of food, Axel could understand why.

He was surprised she was willing to say anything at all without being forced to. Maybe she liked her new friend, or because the group had thinned down a little.

They fix us here. Ever the incurable optimist, in more ways than one. Axel couldn't help but scoff at the reassurance. 'Fixing' was far from the right word-he was walking testimony to the fact that some things didn't just get better. That some things were just realities, meant to be dealt with, no particular reason why they happened or why they had happened to you.

In the small beat of silence which passed, however, Axel did feel a slight tug in his stomach. Faye had shared what was going on with her, didn't that mean he ought to introduce himself, as well? The more logical part of his brain strongly advised against it. He'd had the information used against him before, and besides, he knew very little about this girl aside from the fact that she seemed....Well. Rational.

"They haven't done a very good job, then," he replied, addressing Candece rather than Faye for the time being-he knew Cadence, at least. "They've been trying on me for five years."

 

[Zyrelle]

Candece plopped down onto the sofa, offering a shrug at his words. “Well, some things take longer than others, that doesn’t necessarily mean they can’t be fixed.” She cast a glance towards Faye. “How long are you here for?”

Faye tugged her lower lip between her teeth, tilting her head to the side slightly. “Sixteen months,” for now. Unlike Candece, she was anything but an optimist, in fact, she had a very strong feeling that she’d be dead before the sixteen months were up, she didn’t believe they could fix her. Not everyone could be fixed. Not everyone was worth fixing.

“Sixteen months, huh?” She mused, leaning further back into the sofa. “That’s plenty of time.”

“For what?”

“To get better.”

Just like Axel, Faye found herself scoffing at her words. She had nothing against the girl, in fact, she kind of liked her, but, her positive outlook on everything was starting to get tiresome. “Highly unlikely,“ The odds of Faye even making it past the first few months were very slim, she hadn’t eaten properly in...weeks? Almost a month now, and it was already taking it’s toll on her body. Not eating and the countless sleepless nights were going to be the literal death of her, very soon.

Before Candece had the chance to speak up again, Lilah waltzed through the door, a smile plastered on her lips. “It’s lunchtime you guys, I think it’s spaghetti tonight?” Lilah - apart from the...issues - was a lot like them, that’s part of the reason why everybody got along with her, she was more of a friend than a nurse, and closer to their age than any of the other staff.

 

[NickNacks]

​

Sixteen months...So a little more than one year. That was usually standard for someone who was admitted for an intensive program, and the good thing of it was that those people usually came out the other side-meaning that Axel rarely saw them again.

She had the same attitude a lot of kids had when they first were first admitted. Angry, confused, upset, and above all determined that no help that they would receive would make any difference. Axel took a deep breath as Candece took a seat beside him, bracing himself for the argument that he was already sure would follow between Faye and Candece. When you put a pessimist and an optimist in the same room, they rarely saw eye to eye. Axel just didn't really engage with Candece's assurances that much, but he hoped for the best for her, whatever that might turn out to be.

However, whatever argument might have ensued was cut short by the appearance of one of the orderlies that the regulars all knew well. Axel even thought she was kind of attractive, though he kept that to himself. "Is that what they're calling it?" he inquired with a quirked brow, a faint smile appearing on his face for a second so brief that if you blinked, you might have missed it. Still, he got to his feet anyway. It only lead to more trouble if you refused to go down for meals-worst case scenario, they'd feed you through a tube or some shit.

As the three of them made their way down, Axel dressed Faye in a quieter voice. "Don't mind her too much," he said with a small nod to Candece. "She's just trying to get through it. That's how she deals."

 

[Zyrelle]

That’s how she deals.

Faye figured that much - not everyone was like her, not everyone believed they were helpless. She thought that to be beautiful, having so much hope, so much belief in yourself, even when the rest of the world had given up on you. She didn’t want to fight Candece or argue with her over how wrong she was. Everyone had their own opinions, not everyone was as fucked up as she was.

“I know,” she murmured, offering him a weak smile. She followed quietly behind them, following to where she assumed the food to be - she wasn’t going to eat it, of course she wasn't, but, she supposed you could still be around it, and not consume it. How were they okay with shoving calorie ridden food down their throat? Without a goddamn care in the world?

“Evenin’, Andy!” Candece chirped, pulling a tray along the metal railing type thing. “Heard there’s pasta?”

Andy grinned, the almost full grin that only Andy could pull off. “You heard right, doll. The best of the best.” He only ever praised the food because his wife - the cook - would no doubt kick his ass if he said anything different.

“Ah, Corey been writing you word cards again?” She teased, watching with an eager smile as he plopped the questionable food onto the plate.

”All the damn time,” he sighed, dramatically, dumping another spoonful of the substance onto the tray Axel moved forward. He glanced over in Faye’s direction, raising a brow. “Ah! You’re a new face,” he mused, the corner of his lips tilting up. “I’m Andy, I basically...serve the food,” he chuckled, his gaze flickering to the pasta, and to the girl, who didn’t have a tray. “You not eatin’, sweetheart?” He questioned, a frown on his lips.

Faye shook her head, casting a wry glance at the food, before taking a step back. “I’m good, but thank you, anyway,” With that, she spun on her heel and made her way towards a vacant table, Cadence and Axel not far on her heel.

She very much highly doubted she’d get away with not eating for much longer, but, they couldn’t make her, right? If she didn’t want to, they couldn’t...force her, right?

 

[NickNacks]

​

Axel wasn't sure if it was another affect of the medication, or if it was just the food itself, but it never seemed to taste like anything. It wasn't bad, exactly, but it wasn't that good, either. The plastic tray and the way it slid across the metal railing in front of the buffet. The lump of spaghetti that was deposited on his plate looked almost appetizing-Andy always tried his best with it-but cafeteria food was pretty much the same all over.

He gave a mute nod of thanks as the food was deposited onto his plate. He might as well try to eat a few bites.

The seat he selected was by itself, at a table where no one else was. It wasn't really as though he disliked the others, but keeping up with conversation could be difficult at times, and he doubted anything too valuable to say, anyway.

Faye wasn't eating. The prospect shouldn't be surprising, and Axel knew that logically it was none of his concern, but his brow knotted anyhow. It was obvious that she hadn't eaten in a pretty long while, and if she kept it up, she'd probably be getting her nutrients from a drip. Which was no fun for anyone involved.

Intervening seemed like it wasn't a great idea, though. After all, they barely knew each other, and Axel didn't have much confidence in his persuasion skills.

 

[Zyrelle]

Candece was seemingly on the same page as Axel, her almost grey eyes furrowing in what she classified as worry. Yeah, she didn’t know the girl, not enough to be as worried as she was, but she was still a...person. “Faye?” she questioned, dropping down into a seat.

“Yeah?”

“I know you said...you don’t like eating, but you can’t just not have anything.”

Faye’s brows knitted together as she shook her head, momentarily casting her gaze onto the plate before the redhead. “I’ve eaten today,” she lied, shrugging her shoulders.

“Bullshit,” her gaze raked over what was visible of the young brunettes figure, her nose scrunching. “You look like you haven’t eaten in months.” It hadn’t properly clicked that the girl was anorexic yet, at least, not fully. At first, she figured she just genuinely didn’t like eating - her MDD was something she could’ve been admitted for, but now? She could see through that. It wasn’t just a dislike for eating. She was sick.

“Candece,” The brunette breathed, her shoulders slumping. “Worry ‘bout yourself, yeah? I’m fine.” Why did this girl - this random - girl care anyway?

“You’ll die, Faye.” She muttered, moving her fork around her plate, despite her own appetite having disappeared, she was still going to eat, anyway.

“I’m fine with that,” Faye snapped, tugging her lower lip between her teeth almost regrettably, she barely knew the girl and already they were fighting.

Yeah. This was going to be a long sixteen months.

 

[NickNacks]

​

So this was where it started. It was clear that eating was the same as overcoming an uphill battle for Faye, though Axel knew he couldn't understand it too well. It was like the few and far-between attempts that his father had tried confronting him about his meds. Sure, the man had never fought very heard, but Axel wasn't sure it would make a difference if he had.

The girls were sitting at the next table over for him, so Axel could overhear the conversation pretty well. Well enough to know that it wasn't going in a very positive direction.

"You don't have to if you don't want to," he piped up after a moment.

He wasn't looking directly over at the two, instead focusing on his noodles in a bit of a listless way, fork twirling up another bite. He chewed, and the flavor was kind of consistent with sandpaper.

"But they're going to get food into you somehow," he warned. "Whether you want it or not. So, it might be easier to get a couple of bites down now, before it happens."

That might be one of the few avenues of reason he could go down with that. It was a distortion, the same word their group therapist often used. Judgement impaired. Convincing her to eat just for the sake of eating wasn't going to work, so maybe presenting the alternative would.

"....We can talk while you do. If it makes it easier."

 

[Zyrelle]

​

At one point in her life - Faye hadn’t always had a dislike for food, one of her friends, or well, acquaintances, had introduced her to something called bulimia. It was a way to stay both skinny, and somewhat healthy. She had forced her fingers down her throat for months before anybody realised what she was doing, it was easy, in a way. The food would go in, and come straight back out.

That was before though. That was before the truth came out, that was before her friend outed her to the entire school, and she became a freak of nature. That was before her brother killed himself in front of her. Before she was fucked up. The threat of possibly being forced to eat didn’t really click with her, she didn’t feel like eating.

“I’m just not hungry right now,” she murmured, gaze flickering towards the boy, she spun so she was facing him a little better, the petite redhead following shortly behind.

“Just one bite?” She pleaded, gently nudging the tray towards the stiff girl.

“Candy,” she sighed, shaking her head. “I’m not hungry, okay? What’s the point in eating if I’m not hungry?“ Truth was, she genuinely didn’t feel hungry anymore, she had long passed that stage.

“Talking, uh, still sounds good though.” She lifted a shoulder in a half assed shrug, despite everything, Faye hated the silence. It didn’t necessarily scare her, it just simply made things feel awkward and uncomfortable, and she hated that.

 

[NickNacks]

​

He hadn't been holding out much hope that it would work, but a slow exhale still left him as Faye blatantly refused the offer. Oh, well. Everybody had their own stuff to figure out, and he couldn't really do that for her. If anything, it was a firm reminder not to try and bridge the gap of casual acquaintanceship that existed between himself and everybody else. When the offer to chats accepted, though, Axel found himself taken aback. Conversation...He'd been good at it at some point, he must have been.

Coming up with something to talk about, though...It was harder than you would think. He pursed his lips a moment in thought. "Uh." Axel began, already wishing he was better at this sort of thing.

"So, uh, here's something weird about me. My first ever girlfriend was fake."

Might as well start with the weirdest thing and go from there.

"So, I had my first ever breakdown...thing, when I was thirteen. And part of it was this girl who was my age-looked like she was my age. And I can't remember all of it, but turns out, I hallucinated a whole entire girlfriend. Fuckin' weird, right? So. Just in case you felt like you were screwed up." Axel managed a small, akward smile.

"But anyway." Fuck, he hadn't even properly given his name. It really had been a long while since talking to anybody new. "I'm Axel. In case Candy didn't tell you."

 

[Zyrelle]

Faye rose a brow as he stammered over his words, she figured that he wasn’t much of a talker - that had been the first conclusion she made when she first laid eyes on him. He seemed like the quiet type, more of an observer than a talker. Hayden used to be the same way.

She cracked a small smile as he spoke, her brow raising. “You...hallucinated your very first girlfriend?” she grinned, a small laugh bubbling past her lips. ”Yeah, you definitely got me beat.” She teased, leaning back against the table.

Candece’s gaze flickered between the two, her lips pursing as she brought a forkful of the decent tasting food to her lips. “I didn’t, sorry.” She replied, sheepishly shrugging her shoulders. In her defence, she was over excited about having a new roommate in the first place.

The brunette nodded in response. “You probably already know but, I’m Faye.” He obviously would’ve already knew her name, especially considering he was there when she was introduced, but, what else are you supposed to say back to an introduction? Nothing, you introduced yourself.

“It’s very boring here,” she murmured, her shoulders slumping. “How long have you been here, Candy?”

“Uh, I’d say almost two years now? I get out soon though,“ she grinned, pushing her empty tray aside. “Tell me about it! There’s a garden but that’s about it. The only fun thing that actually happens is when we all get together an hour before curfew, and so stupid random shit.”

Truthfully, it was hard to have fun when you were holed up in such a place. The most they could do was play board games or keep themselves company using other things - they obviously weren’t allowed to drink, which, she thought would’ve been extremely fun. Imagine Hardin drunk! Or Bailey - oh my god, It’d be so funny.

“What about you, Axel?” Faye questioned, turning her gaze onto him.

 

[NickNacks]

​

The somewhat skeptical way she examined him as he struggled to convey the story made him nervous, but the fact that he had managed to wrestle a laugh out of her made the whole thing well worth it. It was so rare that anybody laughed in this place. It was far more common to hear someone crying or screaming.

"Oh, that's just the start of it," Axel replied, a crooked grin slowly spreading over his face at her reaction. The truth was, he assumed she'd avoid him at all costs after he tried making a joke about something so wierd.

However, the grin faded as the next question came.

How long have you been here?

Axel measured time in episodes rather than days or weeks, the span that lasted between one breakdown and the next. It was a vicious cycle that he was caught in, and had been since late childhood. It was now at the point where he nearly preferred to be here than at home. Here, at the least, he knew the people around him, knew the routine and what was coming next. He knew where he'd be waking up and when his next meal would be.

At home, the story was the same thing every time. He would receive a strange, strained sympathy from his father. His older siblings would fix him with expression of wariness, always waiting for the next time he would escalate even if he was stable.

And then? He would go to his room, and the days would blur together until he finally got fed up and switched his pills around in order to try and make something happen. Then, the world would speed up until he crashed.

"...All in all?" he replied, finally meeting Faye's eyes. "Almost five years. Give or take a few months in between."

 

[Zyrelle]

Five years? She hated the thought of being trapped in this place for little over a year, and...he had been here for five years? How had he managed for that long? She let out a low whistle, nodding her head slightly. “You win,” she murmured, brows furrowing.

​

Despite planning to not ask what was wrong with him, she wanted to know. In fact, oddly enough, she found herself wanting to know everything about the boy before her. She wanted to know what makes him sad, or happy. But she wasn’t going to let that be known, nor did she have any plans on going any further. Who would want someone as ugly and broken as her, anyway?

Faye offered him a small smile, her gaze locked on his. “At least it’s a seemingly nice place to spend so much time, huh?“ She commented, turning on the stool. “What do you do for fun? If I were here for that long, I would’ve gone insane,” The corner of her lip tugged into a sly smirk. “You know...more insane.”

 

[NickNacks]

​

"Well...I guess when you put it that way," Alex replied, shrugging one shoulder. His status of longevity at the hospital wasn't really anything that had earned him any favors. It meant he was friendlier with the staff, though, so he had a bit more leniency with the rules. Some rules, anyway.

When had the last time been that someone asked him about himself-really asked and listened? Maybe it was his hazy mental state, but he genuinely couldn't remember. "It's alright," he replied, his gaze level with hers , even though he glanced away after a moment. Having someone looking at you was odd. He wasn't used to it. He reminded himself firmly that she would be gone in sixteen months.

A low chuckle left him despite himself at her comment. "Oh, y'know. I play my guitar. Bother my roommate." He paused a moment, glance shifting about the cafeteria, and his voice lowered a little when he spoke next. "Sometimes sneak outside. The fresh air helps." In fact, he was probably going to do that later tonight, if he could. It was rare to get access up to the roof, but the stars looked beautiful from up there.

 

[Zyrelle]

​

Faye tilted her head to the side, brows furrowing as her curiosity peaked. “You have to sneak out?” She questioned, huffing out a quiet sigh. Did he have to sneak out because it was late? or were you genuinely not allowed outside? Of course you’d be allowed outside, they couldn’t just...keep you inside, could they?

A small smile curled onto her lips as she nodded, leaning back in her seat. “You know any good songs?” Crossing her ankles, she shifted ever so slightly. She’s always wanted to play an instrument, but, she simply didn’t have the patience to sit and attempt to learn said instrument. Drums sounded pretty easy though - all you really had to do was bang a stick against a well...drum. And to the beat. How hard could that be?