Fandom Life in a Quarantine Zone { The Last of Us 1x1 with icedthemoon }

[icedthemoon]

Carlos Da Silva
Aspiring Artist | 23 | Current location ;; New Mexico

Part of him wanted to immediately pull out his journal and start using these color. He wanted to add them to some of the drawings he already had. He could feel exactly which drawing he would want to do. He had seen it all day. But then Kaleb’s words pulled him back to the present. Oh? “Yeah?” That was unexpected. Well, not exactly unexpected. With the kisses they shared in the stairwell, it would only make sense that they might be a bit closer now. He squirmed a little on the bed as he tried to truly understand what was happening. “I mean, yeah, I think it’s probably smart.” He put a hand further up on Kaleb’s leg, a gentle touch to gesture to the part that was hurt. “We can’t have to tearing yourself open again.” He hesitated. Where was he supposed to go now? Because what he wanted to do was wrap his arms around his favorite ex-Officer. But he was afraid. Genuinely afraid. What was up with that?
​

 

[EquineGurl23]

Kaleb Price
Former FEDRA officer | 25 | Current location ;; New Mexico

Kaleb shifted again, that gentle touch on his leg, it was sweet. He looked at Carlos, moved himself again to give plenty of room, and patted the bed. “Unless you want to use those first? I can’t promise I’ll be able to stay awake though.” Kaleb said quietly. There was still work to do for him to admit that he liked Carlos more than traveling companion, but this was a big step for Kaleb.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Carlos Da Silva
Aspiring Artist | 23 | Current location ;; New Mexico

He peered at Kaleb with questioning eyes. Even though he knew that this was how Kaleb was, he felt that before they ever left the QZ, Carlos was overwhelmed by how thoughtful that was. The insinuation that he would try to stay awake for him was so kind that Carlos was in that moment almost moved to tears. What? “How about this? We get all comfy in this bed, and I will be right here beside you with my new and fancy drawing utensils.” He pulled out his journal and scooched himself onto the bed, propping himself up against the headboard. “And then when you fall asleep, you fall asleep, and I will be right here with you.”
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[EquineGurl23]

Kaleb Price
Former FEDRA officer | 25 | Current location ;; New Mexico

Kaleb was surprised and touched at the his words. He knew that Carlos would do what he said. Kaleb warched as Carlos climbed on the bed, up against the headboard. He smiled softly as he laid there, head looking at him. “That is a wonderful idea.” He said, shifting so he could look at Carlos while on his side, head on the pillow. He yawned a little, eyes closing. Within moments, Kaleb was asleep, well for the moment. It wouldn’t last long.

Kaleb didn’t get nightmares often, but his brain had been working overtime. He woke up in his room, back at the house that his family lived in. He heard shouting, gunfire, explosions. Kaleb was only 10 when this happened and he felt like he was 10 again. He made his way downstairs as his father came stumbling through the front door, carrying his mother. She had been killed during an attack by the Firefly group in Denver. Kaleb remembered hearing his father’s screams, yelling for help but to no avail. And then the memory swirled and changed to him sitting beside Carlos, dead from infected. Kaleb woke up then with a start. “No!” His heart was pounding against his ribs. “No.. No.. Not again. Don’t take someone away from me again.” He whispered, hands going to his head as he tried to separate the fear from the nightmare and reality itself.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Carlos Da Silva
Aspiring Artist | 23 | Current location ;; New Mexico

He drew several things all at once. He worked on a sketch of the gashes in Kaleb’s leg. He played with the colors to bring it to life. Sometimes, as he looked down on Kaleb’s sleeping face, he could not help but be drawn to the softness. So at some point, he gave up with the gashes and tried to replicate it. He used the lighter blue to draw his face. The sketches he used to make of Kaleb were all harsh lines. He was full of angles. But this one was different. He used the fall of Kaleb’s hair, the cushion of the pillow and mattress, and the weight of gravity to hide those harsher lines. He was beautiful. Having him physically there as he drew was almost surreal. This was stuff dreams were made of.

He swapped back to the leg wound when everything went wrong. Carlos was getting sleepier now, but he was not quite ready to put away reality for dreams that could not be sweeter than this. The sudden movement and yell was more than a little startling. He dropped the pencil, it crashing onto the pages and rolling away for him to find later. Registering only that something was wrong, Carlos pushed the journal aside and quickly moved himself to better face him. “Kaleb! Kaleb, hey hey, what’s wrong?” He twisted himself around too far for his body to allow, so he pulled his legs up so that he could really face him. He bent over, leaning in close, hands on Kaleb’s arms. “No one is leaving, love. It’s still you and me.”
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[EquineGurl23]

Kaleb Price
Former FEDRA officer | 25 | Current location ;; New Mexico

Kaleb could barely hear Carlos, his words entering his ears but not registering to him. It wasn’t until the hands were on his arms that he started registering Carlos’ words. Kaleb immediately wrapped his arms around Carlos like if he let go, he’d lose him. Kaleb could feel the tears rushing down his face as he worked to calm himself. “D- Don’t say that. H- How could you know that? Anything c- could happen.” Kaleb managed to catch his breath. “Y- You can’t leave me too.” He added, voice soft and quiet. ​

 

[icedthemoon]

Carlos Da Silva
Aspiring Artist | 23 | Current location ;; New Mexico

Something happened there, and Carlos hated the fact that no one invited him to the scary party. Dream. That had to be the answer. A crappy, horrible dream that needed to be wiped away like the tears that stained his face. Carlos hefted Kaleb up and into his arms, cradling him into his chest. “I am not going to leave you,” he repeated, wrapping his arms protectively around him. “Never ever, love. You’re stuck with me forever.” He wanted to laugh and joke, things he was great at, but this was so heartbreaking. He was not sure what to do, and he had so many questions. What did he see in this dream? Who else left him?
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[EquineGurl23]

Kaleb Price
Former FEDRA officer | 25 | Current location ;; New Mexico

Kaleb felt Carlos pick him up and cradle him to his chest. Kaleb buried his face in his shoulder. He didn’t want to talk about it, but he knew the questions would come. There was no way they wouldn’t. He’d all but admitted he lost someone before and it was that loss that made him distant. He heard the declaration that Carlos would never leave him, that he was stuck with him forever. That was what his mother thought. She’d be there, with his father and him forever. Kaleb would answer the questions if they were asked, but right now? He just wanted the comfort he was receiving.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Carlos Da Silva
Aspiring Artist | 23 | Current location ;; New Mexico

When one of them was upset, another one would always be there to make them feel better. That was what you did with your crew. Your family. One cried and three more came in with the hugs. Sometimes, it was that closeness, that promise of being one with them for the rest of time that got them through life. Or at least, that was what Carlos thought it was. Countless times, he comforted the other three saying meaningless things like how they were all there for each other. Always. And yet here he was outside the QZ having abandoned them for someone he barely knew. After years and years together, he left them for what? Beautiful blue eyes? Yes. And no. He left them because anyone could say that they would always be there to make someone feel better. He left them because if he said that to them, it was because it was the nice thing to do. He left them, because if he told that to Blue Eyes, he meant it. He knew he meant it. And now, as he held Kaleb in his arms, he knew that he meant it. “You’re right.” Was this really the most appropriate time for this? “I don’t know what’s going to happen.” He was doing it anyway. “I don’t know anything except this. I know that I will follow you anywhere. So when you decide that it’s time that we get up and leave the safety of a Quarantine Zone, that’s what we do. And when you decide it’s time to find a hotel room to rest the rest of the night, that’s where I go too.” He rocked them slowly, gently, as he spoke. “And when you go to sleep and have bad dreams, I am going to be right here when you wake up. I don’t know anything else. I don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow or the next day or two years from now. I don’t know where we are going to be or what tragedies might strike, but here’s the plan. The plan is for me to be right here. Next to you. With you. I will not ever leave you. I don’t care if someone else did. Not me, love. Never me.”
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[EquineGurl23]

Kaleb Price
Former FEDRA officer | 25 | Current location ;; New Mexico

Kaleb heard Carlos, every word. He felt each slow, gentle rocking. The words brought both comfort and uncertainty. But it was the truth, he could tell that much. He could tell that Carlos meant each single word, but he had to know. Kaleb had never told another soul about his mother, the only one who knew was his father. His father who lost his compassion the moment she was gone. His father who sent him away to training the moment he could. His father. It turned out that Kaleb had lost both parents that night. One to death and one to grief. The loss of his mother was weighing even more on him now that he had someone he wanted to give his heart to. “I believe you. And I will answer any questions, in the morning.” Kaleb whispered. “Just.. tonight. Don’t let go.”​

 

[icedthemoon]

Carlos Da Silva
Aspiring Artist | 23 | Current location ;; New Mexico

Something broke inside this hardened man in his dream. Something vulnerable leaked through and begged for attention. Something that Kaleb wanted to keep locked away, safe behind walls he built over what Carlos could only assume years. But broken didn’t mean that was who he was. He held Kaleb close as he laid them both down. He was done drawing. Done adding color to the world. Done remembering a past he didn’t need. “You don’t have to tell me anything,” he replied almost as quietly but as surely as he could say anything. The past was the past. He would be curious, but if Kaleb didn’t want to live it anymore, he didn’t have to. They left all of that behind. “And I won’t. I promise I won’t let go.” He would lay there all night, not sleeping if that was what it took. He would talk to keep him up or soothe him to sleep. He didn’t care what he had to do. He would keep Kaleb safe.
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[EquineGurl23]

Kaleb Price
Former FEDRA officer | 25 | Current location ;; New Mexico

He felt Carlos lay them down, and Kaleb only curled in closer. Kaleb heard him say he didn't have to tell him. But it was something that Kaleb needed to get out, it was the final piece. The final thing that kept his walls up. He wanted Carlos to know just why he'd been so guarded, so defensive, so internally broken. Kaleb let out a soft sigh, his head still buried into Carlos' shoulder. "Can you talk to me? About whatever you want. Your friends, your art. Anything."​

 

[icedthemoon]

Carlos Da Silva
Aspiring Artist | 23 | Current location ;; New Mexico

Of course. He would talk for hours. “Did you ever meet Salim? Probably not. He has a radio station. I mean not really a station, but he used the radio all the time. We stole it from one of the officers many, many years ago. We used it just to listen for a while, and then we used it to listen to get away with more things, and then we used it for… other things.” He smiled at the memory of the beginnings of Salim’s broadcasts. “He tinkered a lot. We stole him more things, and he made it better. He made it reach so far. I don’t know how far but pretty far. He found other people. He talked to other people. He made friends at other QZs and even in other places. Places all over the world.” He paused to look down at Kaleb. Ran a hand through his hair. “He got me my paints. He traded with his friends. That’s why we stole a lot. A whole lot. I was our best thief. No one could resist my wily charms. Either I would distract while someone else stole things or I would do it myself. Though, they stopped letting me steal things on my own, because I would get distracted.” He laughed. “He got me the blue. I needed the blue for the last mural I did. I will miss that one.”
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[EquineGurl23]

Kaleb Price
Former FEDRA officer | 25 | Current location ;; New Mexico

Kaleb laid there, head pressed to Carlos' shoulder. He listened, well. He tried too. Kaleb was struggling to stay awake, his eyes closing as he listened about the radio. Reaching other QZ's and making friends there. He felt the hand through his hair and smiled as he laid there. Kaleb loved listening to Carlos talk, he could listen to him all the time. Kaleb eventually was lulled back to sleep at the mention of the mural and how his friend had gotten the blue color. He would sleep soundly through the rest of the night, curled close to Carlos' chest.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Carlos Da Silva
Aspiring Artist | 23 | Current location ;; New Mexico

Carlos talked longer than he needed to. He told a story about a woman named Sola that Salim liked to talk to on the radio. How they talked all the time, and Salim lamented that she was somewhere across the country. If he ever got out, he was going to find her. As Kaleb slept, Carlos rubbing his back and sides, Carlos finished with one last sentiment. “I hope we gave him the courage to find her. You and me could be trendsetters, Blue Eyes.” Finally, he took closed his eyes and ceased his rubbing as he fell asleep. Like he did in back in the QZ, he dreamed of art and color and a dazzling blue. He woke hours later, arms looser now but still around Kaleb. He pulled them tighter around him for whenever he woke up. He wanted to make sure Kaleb knew that he firmly had him.
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[EquineGurl23]

Kaleb Price
Former FEDRA officer | 25 | Current location ;; New Mexico

Kaleb had never had such a wonderful sleep. He didn’t toss and turn once, wrapped up in a blanket of security that was Carlos. He didn’t dream, didn’t have a nightmare, he slept deeply. A little while after Carlos had woken up, Kaleb woke. He felt the arms around from Carlos, a tight hold that promised he had him. Kaleb moved first, shifting slightly before he opened his eyes. “Hmm.. good morning.” He said quietly.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Carlos Da Silva
Aspiring Artist | 23 | Current location ;; New Mexico

At Kaleb’s movements, Carlos roused himself to give his full attention. He too shifted a little to better look at his companion. How did he seem? He slept so soundly, and there were no jarring or startling awakenings in the night. That must have meant that it went better than the first sleep. Part of him wondered if this was why he rehurt his leg the night before. Was he frequently visited by unpleasant dreams? “Hello,” he drawled. “How did you sleep? You seemed like it was better.” He didn’t want to say that it was if it turned out to be bad in his head, but he also was hoping to ease the morning in.
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[EquineGurl23]

Kaleb Price
Former FEDRA officer | 25 | Current location ;; New Mexico

Kaleb looked at Carlos with probably tired looking eyes, but he smiled anyway. “I have to admit that was the best nights sleep I’ve had in fifteen years.” Kaleb admitted. It was true, he had developed the nightmares shortly after he lost his mother. “Thank you, for everything last night and uh today too I guess.” Kaleb told him, that smile never leaving his face.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Carlos Da Silva
Aspiring Artist | 23 | Current location ;; New Mexico

Best night’s sleep, huh? Well, that was high praise. Was it true? Did he just need someone to hold him to get him through? That was possible. Carlos didn’t mind at all being that person. “I’m glad you slept better,” he answered, loosening his grip around him a little. If Kaleb wanted to move, he wanted to make sure that he could. He ran a finger across Kaleb’s cheek, wanting to kiss that smile more than anything else in the world. He also wanted to tell him that he was the most beautiful person in the whole of the world, but he didn’t. He was quickly learning just how much he was afraid to do. He had never been this kind of afraid. “I slept like a baby,” he added for amusement and relief.
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[EquineGurl23]

Kaleb Price
Former FEDRA officer | 25 | Current location ;; New Mexico

Kaleb felt the grip around him loosen and almost instinctively he curled closer. The nightmare had really affected him, more than he’d thought. Kaleb’s smile got a little bigger at the finger across his cheek. “I’m glad you slept so well.” He told Carlos happily. “I was serious last night about telling you what my nightmare was. Or at least try and explain.” Kaleb added. If he didn’t bring it up now, he was going to end up holding it in and building that wall up again. ​

 

[icedthemoon]

Carlos Da Silva
Aspiring Artist | 23 | Current location ;; New Mexico

Oh, so we’re that kind of needy this morning. Not that Carlos was complaining at all. In fact, he liked it. Not that he liked that Kaleb was needy because he had a hard night but he liked that Kaleb trusted him enough to be needy with him. Carlos loved that he was finally breaking through that toughness. He wanted to meet the soft he only got to see in bits and pieces. “You don’t have to tell me anything,” he repeated just to make sure that Kaleb knew. Yes, he was curious. He desperately wanted to know. But he also didn’t want it to be the thing between them. “But if you want, I am ready to listen.”
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[EquineGurl23]

Kaleb Price
Former FEDRA officer | 25 | Current location ;; New Mexico

Kaleb sighed, only shifting just enough to look at Carlos. He had to talk about it, after having bottled it up for fifteen years. “When I was ten, our QZ was dealing with a rather aggressive sect of Fireflies. My father and my mother had gone out for a walk, they always did in the evenings after I went to bed.” Kaleb paused for a moment to breathe. “That night, they were caught in an attack, my mother was killed when she was sent flying from the blast back of an explosion. I remember the explosion, it rocked the house, and I came out to see my father, bleeding and bruised bringing my mother in. I can still remember how upset he was.” Kaleb sighed, his eyes were getting wet but he pushed on.

“We were close, my mother and I. After her death, my father had become a shell, all angry and he’d lost his compassion. I was sent off to training as soon as possible so he didn’t have to deal with me anymore. And as a result, I was a shell myself.” He finished. Tears had started rolling down his cheeks. Kaleb was feeling raw and vulnerable while he waited for Carlos’ reaction.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Carlos Da Silva
Aspiring Artist | 23 | Current location ;; New Mexico

Carlos listened patiently. The harder it got for Kaleb to talk, the softer his smile became. Even in the parts that broke his tough ex-officer, he kept that tiny bit of a smile. Even as it broke his heart to know that happened to him. He gently stroked away the tears as they slowly fell through his story. At its completion, Carlos pulled him into one of his enormous hugs, unwilling to let him go. So that’s who hurt you. That’s who left you. That’s why you don’t want to let me in. But it was too late. Carlos didn’t want to be anywhere else. Kaleb’s heart was his heart. He knew it the second they finally spoke. He knew it the moment he saw those beautiful blue eyes. He did not cower away from the shards left from Kaleb’s shattered being. Instead, he embraced them. In the midst of this raw act, Carlos did what he did best. Fingers still caressing the softness of his cheeks, he gently tilted Kaleb’s chin up so that he could kiss him. Sweet and slow.
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[EquineGurl23]

Kaleb Price
Former FEDRA officer | 25 | Current location ;; New Mexico

Kaleb felt him wipe away the tears from his cheeks as he’d talked. It was soothing, but the hug when he was done talking was even more so. Kaleb felt the caress of his fingers on his cheeks. He felt his chin tilted up and then his world froze. The kiss between them was sweet and slow. Kaleb gave back into it, shifting so he could. Appreciating the moment.​

 

[icedthemoon]

Carlos Da Silva
Aspiring Artist | 23 | Current location ;; New Mexico

A shared kiss. He hoped that all of them would be now. He wanted more than anything else for Kaleb to let them be one. This felt like a big step for him. He made the choice to tell Carlos something he felt was not something that many got to know. That made him lucky. Privileged. Trusted. Kaleb trusted him with the moment that broke him. Now it was Carlos’ job not only to hold that secret but to find a way to heal that wound. His lips fell away a second before he moved them to below Kaleb’s eyes. His cheeks. The edges of his jaw. All the places those tears touched. “Thank you for telling me,” he whispered as he moved to the other side to mirror the same kisses. "I am so sorry."
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