The Path From Fayland - Official RP

Varexes-


I shook my head. "It's ok. I'm just a little unsteady and tired. I can go get the supplies." I tried a smile to reassure her, but I knew that behind my eyes I was ready to pass out any second. Digging the grave and my recent injuries had drained any energy sources I had left, and the only thing that kept me standing was my own will. I didn't want to show weakness, especially in front of Juniper.
 
Juniper gripped his arm unwilling to accept his words. "If you lie to me again, I will tie you to the ground until you are fully recovered. I will not let you up for anything. I will make it a miserable experience." she states calmly without raising her voice. "Then you will wish you had listened to me." she stared at him waiting for him to challenge her.
 
Varexes-


My mouth gaped, opening and closing like a fish out of water as I tried to process what she had said. Her straight face and serious tone made me feel the weight of her threat, and I couldn't help but laugh. It started off as an uncontrollable grin, then quickly escalated into full laughter. I gripped my chest as my air suddenly ran out but couldn't stop laughing, gasping for air and trying to control myself in order to suck in oxygen. "You know, I don't think I'll ever get used to you. You win, Juni." I leaned in and kissed her cheek, then began clearing a little area for a fire and making little benches for everyone, leaving enough space to not only get in but also for our supplies. It took me just a minute, then I sat down and rested, still unable to wipe the grin from my face.
 
Juniper watched as he struggled to find words for the first time since she had known him. Then he started laughing at her. Then he kept laughing, it continued and wouldn't stop. He said something irritating and kissed her cheek. She turned her head away and walked off angered by the situation. She found the supplies and bent down ripping the bag open. Finding the loaf of bread he had mentioned she picked it up and walked back. She bent down next to varexes tearing off a piece of bread. As she placed it into his hand she whispered into his ear coldly. "Don't ever call me Juni again." She sat down and tore off another piece and tossed it to Jess, before breaking off a piece for herself and popping it into her mouth.
 
Varexes-


As Juniper walked off I instantly felt a shiver run down my back, the smile disappearing from my face. I instantly regretted saying anything and stared at the ground, wanting nothing more than to get stabbed again in my regret for what I'd said. When Juniper handed me the bread, she whispered into my ear in such a vehement manner that my blood ran ice cold. My hunger evaporated as my exhaustion seemed to fade away. I didn't say anything and didn't meet Juniper's eyes, instead staring at the bread in my hand.


I curled my fingers around it and tucked it into a pocket as I took off my bow and quivers and placed them on the ground. Wrapping my cloak around me I turned away and did my best to hide, coughing up another spurt of blood before lying still. Despite my exhaustion, my emotions had taken control and I knew I wouldn't sleep. Rather than try to force it, I simply lay there and thought.


Regret, anger, and depression overwhelmed my thoughts. I couldn't help but lay there and realize that everything bad that had happened recently had been my fault. Juniper's anger towards me, Faye and Jess's injuries and Lanli's death all weighed heavily upon my heart. My own situation at home had been my fault, and nearly taking off Faye's head with an arrow when we first met had been my overreaction. The bridge falling was my own damned fault, and it was all I could do not to reach down and take one of my own arrows and carve a symbol into my hand to permanently brand myself as a traitor to friends and family.


Clenching my fist I ducked my head and breathed deeply in, accepting the cool noon air into my lungs in an attempt to calm my raging thoughts. Flipping my hood over my head so the inside of my eyelids were suddenly covered in darkness, I began to hum a soft song, too softly for either Juniper or Jess to hear but loud enough that I could hear it. While it didn't calm me, it did distract me and allow me to control my urge to reach down for an arrow.
 
Juniper stared at the bread in her hands finding the taste bland and unsatisfying. She dropped the rest of it on the ground and gritted her teeth as a rush of memories flooded through her mind. Why did he have to use that name? Her childhood name that was attached to so many emotions she had locked up inside her. Death was supposed to be normal. She had seen death, people died all the time of disease and injury. People died and it sucked, but you moved on. Why was now any different?


She brushed her hands through her hair and then rested her forehead on her knees fighting back tears. She felt them prickle at her eyes and she gritted her teeth fighting them off with her anger. She curled up on her side closing her eyes to hide the emotions trying to pour out. Staring ahead she slowly built her wall back up and her tears stopped threatening to pour out.
 
Varexes-


I hummed softly to myself, slowly recomposing myself and shoving my negative emotions deep down. Without realizing it the song got louder, but stayed a soft hum. My grip loosened on my cloak and I grew calmer as my emotions were shoved behind their brick wall of coldness that I put up when I'm fighting. It was the only way for me to stop myself from crying, and I knew that nobody would want to talk to me right then, so it would be okay to put it up. But even so, they were still there, niggling at the back of my consciousness to prevent me from sleeping. I sighed and stopped humming, muttering under my breath, "I'm sorry everyone." It was something I was saying to quite literally everyone. The goblins, Faye, Lanli, Juniper, Jess, Nova, Cerah, Blake... even my family. "I'm sorry I'm such a failure, I'm sorry I can't do anything right." It wasn't a pity party, but acceptance of my own inability to do anything. Juniper deserved someone so much better than me, I couldn't see why she'd chosen me.
 
(("I'm sorry I'm such a failure, I'm sorry I can't do anything right." It wasn't a pity party, but acceptance of my own inability to do anything."


No Varexes. I think that is, in fact, a pity party. >.<))
 
Faye continued to walk along the field, observing a large variety of metal plates. As each unfamiliar name passed by her curious grey eyes, she searched her mind for some sort of explanation to all of this. What were these metal plates in memory of? Why were they all here--in this very clearing out in the woods? Not to mention, this was quite a large clearing. Rather, it was more of a field than anything else. It just seemed so odd that she'd stumbled upon such a field in the middle of the forest. Then again, the area the bandits had settled upon was quite large as well.


She glanced around for a few seconds once again, taking another look to ensure that no one was watching her. Of course, even if she was being hunted at the moment those few seconds of scanning the area wouldn't have done her any good at all. It seemed that she didn't quite care enough to check more thoroughly, considering she was so indulged in these more peculiar questions that swarmed her brain.


After walking along the metal plates for another good five minutes, she found herself stopping in front of a glossy, grey stone. The stone was placed in the center behind all metal plates and there was more gold writing inscribed in this stone as well. Faye kneeled down, leveling her eyes with the words scrawled across the stone.


In Memory of Those Who


Lost Their Lives Here During the Blackwald War




​



After sitting there for another moment or two as she processed what she just read, her eyes widened with utter shock. She gradually lifted herself up and took a few steps backwards, chills inching up her spine. She turned around, taking in the large field she was standing in. Her mouth fell agape, her lips trembling. Finally, she managed to shut her jaw and swallow the lump that had formed in her throat. So, it was here....in this very field....where it all went down.


She was standing in the middle of where the bloodiest battle in elven history took place.
 
Juniper rolled over hearing Varexes' hums. She listened to him confused and then he spoke. She sat up slowly looking straight ahead. "I'm sorry your such a manipulative liar." she replies coldly, her voice flat as if stating a fact. "I don't know what you want to gain by that comment. Do you want us to disagree with you, because you make it so hard when you keep doing this. Do you want us to agree? How does that help?" she asks turning her head to look at him. "You're not the only one shook up with guilt. Everyone here is upset that Lanli is dead and it sucks that there is something that each of us could have done, but we didn't. So stop feeling sorry for yourself like your the only one who has ever messed up."
 
Varexes-


I lay there silently, pondering Juniper's words. I didn't say anything but simply kept facing away, my cloak over top of me as I thought. It was a long while before I spoke, because as I began to think I realized how pathetic I was being. It was insulting not only to me but to Lanli's memory as well. Gritting my teeth, I lay there and hummed softly.


"Juniper, it doesn't matter what you think of me. What matters is what I think of me. Whether you think I'm a lying asshole or whether you think I've done the best I can and I should stop being so down on myself, in the end all that truly matters is how I feel about myself. If I blame myself for Lanli's death because I made a bad call and you all went along with it, that's on me."


I spoke loudly enough for the girl to hear me, but softly enough that she couldn't think I was trying to antagonize her.


"In the end, Juniper, I blame myself because I believe it was my call that killed Lanli. Who are you to call me manipulative when all I want is nothing more than to avoid believing that, but there is nothing I am surer of in my whole being?" At this I sat up and looked at her, my eyes solid and firm, but my body trembling and weakened both from the healing of my serious wounds and my recent exertions without rest or sustenance.


"Think what you want of me. It's nothing different than what I've dealt with from home." Standing up, I grabbed my bow and quivers and stalked off, squaring my shoulders against pursuit. I didn't want to deal with any more talk. All I wanted was to rest and forget about this whole situation.
 
Juniper looked at the ground listening to his words, they sounded rehearsed like he had said them over and over in his head. He kept repeating himself like it would change the way she felt about the subject if he tweaked the wording slightly. He stood up and walked away deciding to leave the argument unfinished. She thought about following him anyways, but she didn't want to go through the effort. She wasn't mad at him, just frustrated that he couldn't keep anything to himself and hurt that he called her Juni, although that wasn't completely his fault. She was mostly upset at the fact that she didn't have enough energy to do anything useful and on top of it all Lanli was dead and their group was hanging on by a thread. Everyone had seemed to go their separate ways. Death was supposed to bring people together to tear them apart. Lanli's death seemed to rip the group apart and stamp on the pieces.
 
Varexes-


I gripped my bow tightly in my left hand, testing its tautness. I had just released it when my foot dragged and caught on a plank of wood, causing me to stumble and fall to my feet. Panting, I lay there, groaning slightly in pain as I realized something else had cut my cheek slightly, and a small droplet of blood welled and rolled down my face. It was as warm as a tear, and suddenly it began to rain from my eyes. Salt water rolled down in a silent and uncontrollable flood as I lay there with my bow on the ground next to me.


I'm done. After this, I'll be finished. No more crying, no more pity parties, no more showing others my feelings. If I'm upset, fine, nobody has to know. If I'm happy, great, I won't be hiding. If I'm neither, oh well.


It was a promise unto myself, one that I vowed I would never break. But at that moment, even as I made that promise to myself, I realized that it would have to wait until my eyes were done leaking their tears, for there was nothing I could do at that moment to stop them from rolling down my face.


It wasn't physical pain, but rather the lack of energy combined with the emotional and psychological pain that I was inflicted with that caused my sudden ability to become a fountain, my sudden lack of control. I felt pathetic.
 
Finally, after standing in the middle of the field completely numb for another five minutes, Faye managed to regain control of her body. She rolled back her shoulders carefully, peering around the silent clearing furthermore. It was just so...strange....knowing she was in such a historical, yet terribly tragic location. There was this eerie presence lurking in the air around her now, despite the underlying feeling of peace and serenity that she felt earlier on.


She began to walk back over to where she'd entered the field, turning to give the area one final look before heading back to search for her friends. As her soft grey eyes scanned the clearing, that peculiar feeling prickled her skin, as if spiders were crawling atop her flesh. She then looked away, eyeing the ground as she allowed the feeling to dissolve gradually.


Faye then left the clearing for good, heading back through the forest painted with yellow and orange. After walking quietly through the enchanting woods for a while, she looked up to see someone lying on the ground, looking lifeless...completely worn out, yet trembling softly. Her lips parted slightly once she made it out to be Varexes, wondering what he was doing in such a position. Although she knew that his physical condition wasn't well, was that really why he was just laying there so...lifelessly?


She settled her hand against the bark of a nearby tree, studying him with gloomy eyes. She wished to speak to him, but she wasn't sure if he'd rather be left alone at the moment. She felt the tips of her fingers grazing her cold lips just barely, just as she did when she was feeling a bit nervous and worried.
 
Varexes-


I lay there on the ground, the tears streaming down my face as my body trembled slightly. I wrapped my arms around my body, trying to master my body again. As I curled up, my body rejected myself and coughed up more blood, forcing me to wipe my mouth and clench my arms tighter as the trembling worsened. "Damn this..." I muttered under my breath, wrapping my cloak around me tighter. Closing my eyes in a futile attempt to stop the flow of tears, I felt my body actually relax as I drifted off into a fitful sleep.
 
Juniper stood up having cooled off from her heated rant at Varexes. She walked over to his side and plopped down next to him. Seeing he was sleeping, she brushed her fingers through his hair softly trying not to wake him. He looked much more peaceful in his sleep then what he was awake. He stirred every so often and she wished he would feel comfortable enough to doze off. He deserved it after so much stress. She kissed the top of his head softly.
 
Varexes-


Vivid dreams intruded upon my fitful slumber. Dreams of death and murder, goblins and blood. Family and friends being murdered with daggers in their chests or axes in their heads, and even a couple of times shards of timber as large as an arm stabbed through their torso. Everyone had Lanli's face. My eyes squeezed further shut as if to block out the lucid images that filled my mind as I slept, tears leaking through my closed eyelids as my sleeping form shook.


The nightmares progressed from Lanli to my grandfather, the one I'd had before where I'd screamed. However, despite the vividness, I still somehow managed to retain enough rationale that I knew it was, indeed, merely a dream. Instead of going along with them, however, I tried to run, flitting from scene to scene, each one filled with more gore and death.


There was Cerah, lying there with an ice shard through her chest. Then there was Lanli again, a dagger piercing her heart. Then there was me, with timber shards through my side and arm. Juniper's face as I held on for dear life to avoid falling to my death from a deep chasm.


Juniper's face. The instant I saw it I wanted to burst into tears once more, for she was so angry at me that it merely added onto my guilt.


"I'm sorry, Juniper!" I shouted in my dream as her face morphed into something terrifying, pulling a blade out to cut the rope that I was holding on to, causing me to fall to my death.


As I fell, I closed my eyes within my dream and thought a mere two words: I'm sorry.


Whether I was apologizing to something or someone specific, or whether it was for all of my mistakes I didn't know. Or perhaps I was apologizing to myself, for myself. For becoming someone so weak and bitter and pathetic.


Gripping my new bow tightly, I squeezed my eyes shut as I crashed into the ground, my body crumpling like a tin can in a muscle man's hand.


I thought I might wake up then, as dying in nightmares was known to wake some lucid dreamers up. But instead it took me to another nightmare, one of a big city.


Figures surrounded me, walking past me and taunting me in whispers, saying how weak and pathetic I was, how much Juniper despised me. How much I was a liability to the group, how much better and happier everyone would be if I were dead.


It was all I could do to cover my ears and scream to shut them up, the voices were driving me mad! Especially the ones of those I knew: Faye, Juniper, Lanli, Cerah, my parents and friends and fellow villagers from back home. All taunting and putting me down, there was nothing I could do but agree with them.


"I know I'm useless, I know I'm weak, I know I'm pathetic! Leave me be, I don't like being reminded! Let me pretend... please, let me pretend.." Tears once again rolled down my face in a tide, both in life and in my dream.


In life I rolled around slightly, my face contorting with the emotional pain I was being traumatized with inside of my nightmares.
 
Juniper watched his peaceful dream interrupted as he rolled around. She grabbed his shoulder shaking him awake. "Varexes.." she looked at him concerned. "Varexes wake up." she saw the tears collecting on his cheek and brushed them away with her thumb. "You're dreaming Varexes, wake up." she told him trying to keep her voice comforting and soft.
 
Varexes-


I felt a hand on my shoulder, and as I turned I saw Juniper. "Wake up, Varexes. You're dreaming, wake up," she was saying. I shook my head and closed my eyes, taking a deep breath, forcing my way to the surface of my consciousness. The air around me grew silent as I floundered around in my head for a moment before finally opening my eyes to bright sunlight, feeling someone's hand on my shoulder. I blinked away the remaining tears and rolled over to see Juniper's face. My mouth parted slightly in surprise. "Oh... hey Juniper," I said softly, wondering why she was there.
 
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