The Cherry on Top (Featuring Daemonic)

[CinnamonShards]

Either a convention was in town, or Maggie had found what she was looking for.


"Okay, I see him," she said, peering through the window. "Now what?"


She tried to look inconspicuous as a young couple came out of the Baskin Robins, laughing and carrying waffle cones. Once they'd passed, she returned her attention to the gun-toting masked man inside.


"This isn't my job," she groaned, rifling through her purse for change. "I'm not even remotely qualified for this. What am I supposed to do if anything happens? Give him a peanut allergy?"


She shouldered her cellphone to free her hands as she pulled out four sticks of lip balm, a pack of gum, a notebook, a pen, a charging cable, two dimes and a quarter. Great. Was she seriously going to have to use her credit card to pay for a dollar and fifteen cents worth of ice-cream? The cashier was going to give her that stupid look. Ugh! Why did they always have to judge her with their eyes?


"Okay, you say that, but that isn't even a thing I can do," Maggie insisted, fishing out her credit card from between a pack of kleenex and a granola bar. She jammed the rest back into her purse. Her eyes narrowed sharply.


"Look...I want you to know that I realize that you're emotionally blackmailing me right now, and I resent it...yeah. Okay yeah. I'm doing it, okay? Bye."


She thumbed the 'end call' button and caught sight of her reflection in the window glass. She took a moment to check her teeth and adjust her hair, then snapped a quick selfie, just in case the police needed to know what she was wearing the day she was murdered.


The door buzzed mechanically as she pushed open the door to the lobby. She went directly to the sorbet counter and attempted to look entranced while her heart hammered in her chest.


Becoolbecoolbecoolwerejusthereforsomeicecreamnobodyisspyingonanyoneeverythingisfine.

 

[Drakonian]

"I need an ice-cream, my good man." Deadpool told the man behind the counter. The vendor, a very friendly looking male well into his 50s, gazed back at Deadpool in a very awkward way. After all, it wasn't everyday that a guy dressed up in a red, spandex suit, armed to the teeth and masked, entered his store casually asking for ice-cream. The poor man didn't even know if this guy was not actually a thief. "You're not a robber, are you?" The vendor finally replied with a question, his hand inching to the panic button as he gazed up at Deadpool.


"No, I'm not a thief. Well... that if you don't count that time I stole this guy's motorbike to chase a bad guy, and the other time I stole Black Widow's lingerie for... personal reasons, and the other time I stole someone's Coke can just because I was thirsty and another time, I stole a toy from a kid because I liked it! And also..." He said as he used his gloved fingers to count down as he recalled the instances, only to be stopped by the elder man who was already getting dizzy from the chattering. "Okay, okay, I got it, you want an ice-cream. What flavor? And why on Earth are you wearing that suit and are so armed to the teeth?"


"Sugar, spice, and everything nice." Deadpool said as he referred to the ice-cream. "Just put everything you got good in it, and make it big. Oh, and the red suit, well, I'm actually waiting for bad guys to show up and want to have an ice-cream before I kick some ass."


"Bad guys?" The old vendor said almost laughing. "Not that you wouldn't look like a bad guy yourself. What are you, some kind of superhero?" He continued as he picked up an empty ice-cream cone. "Superhero? Me? Nah. I'm not even a fucking hero, let alone... well yes, I am super, but never a hero. I just kick bad guys' asses and get money for it. Superheroes are those guys in the X-Men, or the Avengers, but not me." Deadpool said just in time, as the girl made her way in. Turning his head, he gazed at her as she approached the counter.


"Wow, you look as perplexed as everyone looks when they see my face for the first time. You saw a ghost? Two hobos fucking in a cardboard box? A hobo and a dog fucking in a cardboard box? I don't think you could be this perplexed if you only saw two dogs going at it in a cardboard box so there sure must be a hobo involved. Or more. Ever seen a hobo orgy? Tell you, those things are filthy. Get it? They're filthy? Hey old man, how's my ice cream cone coming along?"


The vendor returned with a rather exaggeratedly large cone of ice cream, handing it to Deadpool. "Two dollars, please." "Two dollars?" The Merc replied, gasping. "Well... I don't even have a quarter on me. Can't take my wallet with me when I'm in action. What if I get robbed? Or I lose it?"

 

[CinnamonShards]

Maggie hoped that she didn't look as uncomfortable as she felt. Seriously? He went straight to a hobo orgy? Wondering if it was too late to fling herself through the window glass and escape, she opened her mouth, and hoped a reply would fall out.


"Uhhh....no."


Truly, her wit sparkled like a diamond in the midday sun. Her eyes went from Deadpool to the fellow behind the counter, who was clearly regretting his decision to come in to work that day. She swallowed hard, trying to remember the tagline from the issue of Women's Health she'd read that morning. Walk like a Warrior, that was it. She stood up a little straighter, tucking her hand into her pocket the way a casual, confident person might.


"Um, how about I get that for you? I just remembered I'm allergic to ice-cream...and on a diet...umm, is credit okay?"


It made her uncomfortable to walk around the masked man and put her back to him, but warriors didn't carefully inch toward the cash, they strode...quickly. The man behind the counter gave her the look. She wondered if a warrior would be within her rights to slap him upside the head.

 

[Drakonian]

"Did you just see that, old man? I made a friend! And she's paying for my ice-cream!" Deadpool said, apparently joyful like a child. "Ah, shit." He continued, his mood changing in a moment. "I can't eat this ice cream with the mask on. Oh... what the fuck is that?" He changed the subject, suddenly turning to the exit. He heard it. The sound of the motorcycle. It was his target. "Ooops. My bad guy is here! Hey, mind holding onto this for me?" Deadpool asked the girl, placing the ice cream in her hand before she could even accept or decline his request. After all, he did have to rush.


Exiting the ice cream shop fully running, Deadpool used the very first car that was near him, a car parked a few feet away, by jumping on it, before using it to boost himself high up in the air. With at least one full turn in the air, he timed his movement perfectly so that he would land precisely on the motorcycle of the man he was about to kill. His target, however, seemed to be having none of this, and so, in the next moment, Deadpool was already being stabbed, right in one of his kidneys. "Fuck! I'm not ready for penetration on the first date!" He yelled out, grabbing the man before simply jumping with him off the bike.


The panic seemed to have already set in on the street, with civilians fleeing the scene, cars coming to full halt with noisy screeching tires and the two, Deadpool and his target, now lying on the pavement. The Merc jumped from his spot, being oviously faster than his victim, and simply straddled him, immediately putting a loaded gun into his mouth. "Oh, how things turned around, right? You were penetrating me, now I'm making you suck my gun. You know why we're here, right? No? Someone is paying me to fuck you up and make you ready for a 6 foot dive. So if you've got anything to say, you better say it now. Oh, wait, my gun's in your mouth. So sad."

 

[CinnamonShards]

Questioning all the life choices that had lead her to that point, Maggie stared after the masked man as the door bell chimed behind him. A whimper of protest fell from her lips. She looked at the ice-cream cone, as if hoping that it would offer up a plan of attack. It seemed more than willing to let her take the lead.


"Ugh...shit," she hissed between clenched teeth, tossing it aside. A rainbow of rocky road, gummy bears, and hot fudge splattered across the floor as she took off after him. He was about as fast as she'd expected, which meant he was already across the parking lot by the time she spotted him. She spirited after him, the screech of tires down the street reminding her just how fast a lunatic could cause a ten car pile up. Furious, gasping, and regretting the fact that she'd skipped her morning run for the past seven months, Maggie reached them just as things were coming to euphemistic head.


"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" She shrieked, making no attempt to sound dignified. She mentally leafed through a half dozen non-violent restraints she'd learned in college. She then panicked, picked up a broken hunk of asphalt, and flung it at the back of Deadpool's head.