Fantasy The Black Ravine Hunt [OOC]

[CkSmalling]

@Lenny2000 Right so you're out of the roleplay ^^ Please leave now xP

CkSmalling Your CS dissection:

• This is just a suggestion, but perhaps make your characters name more fantasy-like to fit in with the others? Not a problem if you decide not to tho ^^
• 'intelligent' isn't a personality trait, and 'charming' is rather vague, do you mean good with words? I'd like an explanation of 'snake tongue' please xP
• 'Jealous' isn't a personality flaw, do you mean gets easily jealous or envious? what do you mean by 'bloodlust', do you mean bloodthirsty or has great bloodlust? I'd like at least 4 viable flaws please xP
• disliking 'peasants' and 'those in royalty' basically means almost everyone? I'm not going to allow an edgy character which hates the world and everyone thanks xD
• Alright so basically your character is a walking disaster waiting to happen? Are you planning on him becoming an anatagonist after tricking the group? I can accept it if that was your plan. If not, please give some explanation, because I don't see why he wouldn't try and kill his team members O.o
• His 'blood-lust' spell is kind of over the top without much of a flaw. Chances are this roleplay won't go on until your character begins to age and die early, so can you create a better con to this ability and nerf it, sleeping for 24 hours isn't that bad either. How long can he rampage?
• His weakness is only a con to his blood-lust spell, add at least three different prominent weaknesses ^^

I might accept your character sheet after you fix these things.

I have overhauled the personality section and hope the new additions fall according to the advice above.

I have changed the alignment to neutral evil. My character may be a bit crazy but he won't be a danger to the rest.

I have removed the cursed armour and replaced it with a custom armor. Nothing special about it but it looks cool and the color configuration is different from the normal white knight armor.

The bloodlust has been removed and the magic section removed as well. If I may ask it is possible for that section to be changed and add simple spells as the role play goes on?

If there is anything that need to be changed, please tell me. I apologize for the delay.

Thanks.

 

[VioletShadow]

Gah, sorry everyone, I've been getting a bit swamped with IRL stuff, I'll try and be as productive as I can after work and dinner tonight ^^

 

[VioletShadow]

I have overhauled the personality section and hope the new additions fall according to the advice above.

I have changed the alignment to neutral evil. My character may be a bit crazy but he won't be a danger to the rest.

I have removed the cursed armour and replaced it with a custom armor. Nothing special about it but it looks cool and the color configuration is different from the normal white knight armor.

The bloodlust has been removed and the magic section removed as well. If I may ask it is possible for that section to be changed and add simple spells as the role play goes on?

If there is anything that need to be changed, please tell me. I apologize for the delay.

Thanks.

Thank you for changing it, but there are still some key points that I feel need to be addressed O.o

• Hmm, if your character is so moody and money-minded, what reason would he have to volunteer to go into the Black Ravine? From anyones perspective, it's almost a guranteed suicide mission, and the kingdom/empire won't be able to promise a huge monetary reward due to the state they're in.
• Due to his 'greedy' weakness and 'money-mindedness' can I assume that he would be easily blinded by riches? That could take the form of a demon offering a shady deal, or a trap with gold on top, if you require examples.
• I'm guessing by 'archery' you mean he is rather inept at long-range combat? So he is just naturally bad at archery? If you state that his weakness is archery and he somehow learns how to use a bow easily, then I cannot accept that as a weakness.
• About your question, of course you may add spells that your character learns into your CS, but the chances of that are low. There's not exactly going to be a magic tutor or spell book waiting within the depths of the ravine.

Lekiel Your CS dissection:

• Beautifully written, I feel hate towards that cunning Eadigian soldier as well.
• I feel that his skills slightly outweigh his weaknesses, but due to the clarification of each of them I think it'll be fine, especially whilst considering his higher level of experience.

Your character has been approved, I shall add him to the character list, as well as pull out the background information from your CS to add to the lore section.

AI10100 Felix Asher You both rock You've all re-inspired me to continue this to the best of my ability ^^
Now if only life would fricken let me xD

 

[Lekiel]

Pleasure to be accepted! And i like how you explain your line of reasoning, not simply based on fanciful whims.

Here's the code for the extra bit of info if you want it

[B]The Tel`Quessir[/B]
[spoiler]Tel`Quessir is elvish, and translates simply as, 'The People' or 'Elves', in common tongue. While there are many subraces of the elves within the Chubic Kingdom, none are so aloof and as prideful as the Tel`Quessir. They trace their lineage back into the ancient past, and their songs and legends tell of a time when the Tel`Quessir's empire sprawled throughout the land, and their people were as numerous as the stars. Whether such was the truth or the embellished tales of a bard seeking to earn coin, their kingdom now lies in the northernmost reaches of Chubica; assuming it still stands after the Black Ravine sundered the lands.[/spoiler]

[B]City of An`Falithe and the Ivory Halls[/B]
[spoiler][imagefloat=left][heightrestrict=300][IMG]https://i-h1.pinimg.com/564x/98/db/55/98db55791c9c96c058d592a6dfc069ff.jpg[/IMG][/heightrestrict][/imagefloat]Nestled amidst the frozen mountains of the North and surrounded by dense forests of evergreen pines, the City of An`Falithe is where most of the Tel`Quessir reside. Having contributed to the liberation of the Chubic Kingdom, they have since maintained their fealty and ties to the Monarch. Nevertheless, they hold a somewhat derisive prejudice for the other races, choosing to remain aloof and separate during much of the civil wars. The fact that An`Falithe is perhaps the furthest city North of all Chubica allows the Tel`Quessir elves to be content with their isolation. They kept largely to themselves until war errupted between Eadigia and the Chubic Kingdom. The Calenfari Rangers are the royal guardians of the Ivory Halls, the palace of the Tel`Quessir King and his five children. When the Black Ravine sundered the land, An`Falithe was cut off from the rest of Chubica. While there are still Tel`Quessir elves spread throughout the Kingdom, many feared that their homeland had been destroyed by the darkness. Those that tried to venture home never returned.[/spoiler]

 

[Reinhardt]

I've posted my cs, it's terrible, but it's all I can do for now. Apologies.

 

[BlueJay1403]

VioletShadow I think I've found a way to make the crystal thing work for Jason. It works off of magic as well as his biology, as it's kind of an innate thing. Jason can create crystal by channeling magic through his body. It takes energy to do this - roughly 10% of his energy for 50g of crystal. This power is amplified by All or Nothing.

What do you think?

 

[Lekiel]

VioletShadow I think I've found a way to make the crystal thing work for Jason. It works off of magic as well as his biology, as it's kind of an innate thing. Jason can create crystal by channeling magic through his body. It takes energy to do this - roughly 10% of his energy for 50g of crystal. This power is amplified by All or Nothing.

What do you think?

Seems like Jason does an awful lot for an 8 year old lol!

 

[BlueJay1403]

Seems like Jason does an awful lot for an 8 year old lol!

I mean, just because he does a large variety of stuff doesn't mean he's good at it. He is unaware of both powers I listed on the CS and I try to make them balanced. Sorry if I sound defensive.

 

[VioletShadow]

I mean, just because he does a large variety of stuff doesn't mean he's good at it. He is unaware of both powers I listed on the CS and I try to make them balanced. Sorry if I sound defensive.

Well, even doing a 'large variety of stuff' at that age is unnatural lol. When I was 8 all I did was eat, sleep and play xD

VioletShadow I think I've found a way to make the crystal thing work for Jason. It works off of magic as well as his biology, as it's kind of an innate thing. Jason can create crystal by channeling magic through his body. It takes energy to do this - roughly 10% of his energy for 50g of crystal. This power is amplified by All or Nothing.

What do you think?

I don't see what you hope to gain by creating crystal. Are you trying to create crystal weapons or keys or something? What happens when he begins to run low on energy? How often can he generate crystal?

 

[VioletShadow]

I've posted my cs, it's terrible, but it's all I can do for now. Apologies.

What do you meannn, it was lovely to read ^^ xP Your weaknesses are a bit obvious and wishy-washy, but due to the relatively low level of skills Louis wields it evens it out. I shall add her to the character list as well as add her background information to the lore page.

I want to remind you all that this was meant to be a casual roleplay, I don't expect anyone to post the best character sheets or posts they've ever done xD

 

[BlueJay1403]

Well, even doing a 'large variety of stuff' at that age is unnatural lol. When I was 8 all I did was eat, sleep and play xD


I don't see what you hope to gain by creating crystal. Are you trying to create crystal weapons or keys or something? What happens when he begins to run low on energy? How often can he generate crystal?

Good Points. The power might not be useful in rp as I don't have a fully thought out plan of what's going to happen. It's mainly a utility spell that adds a small bit to I'll admit an already slightly convoluted character. If you don't think it's appropriate for the character or rp, that's fine, I'm just saying.
As for the limitation questions, as with a lack of energy for any reason, if Jason gets low on energy he gets drowsy, moves slower, is less aware of his surroundings and will be more irritable. He can make crystal whenever he wants as long as he has enough energy and his concentration isn't broken.

 

[VioletShadow]

Good Points. 1: The 'large variety' part of that wasn't really the point. 2: It might not be useful in rp as I don't have a fully thought out plan of what's going to happen. It's mainly a utility spell that adds a small bit to I'll admit an already slightly convoluted character. If you don't think it's appropriate for the character or rp, that's fine, I'm just saying.

1. It was though. That was specifically what Lekiel was talking about lol O.o
2. Yeah, it doesn't really make sense or add anything to your character. A wood elf having nature spells or something makes sense. But having a part-fox part-demon boy randomly create crystals is a bit farfetched don't you think? xP

 

[Reinhardt]

I forgot to include info about Taltor damn it. Might be out of place but I'll just put it in here.

Spoiler: Taltor

Taltor. The god of conquest. Worshipped mainly by the military, specifically those posted out on the front lines.

Word has it that with enough prayer, Taltor may intervene and grant strength to those who deserve it.

 

[CkSmalling]

Thank you for changing it, but there are still some key points that I feel need to be addressed O.o

• Hmm, if your character is so moody and money-minded, what reason would he have to volunteer to go into the Black Ravine? From anyones perspective, it's almost a guranteed suicide mission, and the kingdom/empire won't be able to promise a huge monetary reward due to the state they're in.
• Due to his 'greedy' weakness and 'money-mindedness' can I assume that he would be easily blinded by riches? That could take the form of a demon offering a shady deal, or a trap with gold on top, if you require examples.
• I'm guessing by 'archery' you mean he is rather inept at long-range combat? So he is just naturally bad at archery? If you state that his weakness is archery and he somehow learns how to use a bow easily, then I cannot accept that as a weakness.
• About your question, of course you may add spells that your character learns into your CS, but the chances of that are low. There's not exactly going to be a magic tutor or spell book waiting within the depths of the ravine.

Lekiel Your CS dissection:

• Beautifully written, I feel hate towards that cunning Eadigian soldier as well.
• I feel that his skills slightly outweigh his weaknesses, but due to the clarification of each of them I think it'll be fine, especially whilst considering his higher level of experience.

Your character has been approved, I shall add him to the character list, as well as pull out the background information from your CS to add to the lore section.

AI10100 Felix Asher You both rock You've all re-inspired me to continue this to the best of my ability ^^
Now if only life would fricken let me xD

I have never seen someone nitpick a character like you do. Makes me think hard about a character and see them like a real human.

Removed the greedy and money mindness trait as i have seen them in your point of view. Added a new one, drunkard. Imagine someone like Sparrow. Always drunk but very reliable. Please note that he will not always be drunk but if he finds a bottle, he will take it. I hope that is acceptable

For the archery part, its a weakness cause my character has always been told that bows and arrows belong to the elves. So he will not pick up a bow and use it. It can be changed to inept at long range but before that is done, i just wanted you see from my point of view.

 

[AnonyMouse]

I have never seen someone nitpick a character like you do. Makes me think hard about a character and see them like a real human.

Removed the greedy and money mindness trait as i have seen them in your point of view. Added a new one, drunkard. Imagine someone like Sparrow. Always drunk but very reliable. Please note that he will not always be drunk but if he finds a bottle, he will take it. I hope that is acceptable

For the archery part, its a weakness cause my character has always been told that bows and arrows belong to the elves. So he will not pick up a bow and use it. It can be changed to inept at long range but before that is done, i just wanted you see from my point of view.

I can't speak for Violet, but the main thing about him that seems disjointed (to me) is his personality and knight status. Those two things just don't go well together. I understand his father submitted him for training to try to purge some of his darker impulses, but those darker impulses are still there a decade later. It's like he has learned nothing, yet the world keeps giving him things.

As a child, he would "kill a bird and eat it." So, his dad sent him off to be trained in the hopes that the knights would fix his wayward son. I totally understand that. But, years later, Robert is still a cheeky, selfish, moody, drunk, who might fly into a blood rage at any moment. His skills may have improved under their tutelage, but he hasn't improved as a person, so why would they accept him into their ranks or continue training him?

He doesn't sound like someone any sane person would approve to represent the crown... unless the crown is corrupt. I mean, we haven't established what type of ruler the king is, so maybe it's possible he has need of someone as erratic as Robert. (Royal assassin, maybe?) I just think "knight" seems ill-fitting for him. He doesn't seem knightly at all. (And, just for the record, I'm not implying all knights are squeaky-clean choir boys. But they should at least maintain the illusion of being upstanding members of society, right?)

And the question of why someone like him would join a suicide mission still remains. Was he ordered to do this? Paid to do this? Lost a drinking game and got dared to do this? (I'm kidding, but that last one would be hilarious.)

I'm not trying to pass judgment, I'm just thinking out loud and trying to get a conversation going. Any character here could probably be picked apart and flaws found. I mean, they're real people, after all, and real people don't always make sense. For what it's worth, I'd love to see him in-game. I imagine he and Cephilia would butt heads a lot.

 

[CkSmalling]

I can't speak for Violet, but the main thing about him that seems disjointed (to me) is his personality and knight status. Those two things just don't go well together. I understand his father submitted him for training to try to purge some of his darker impulses, but those darker impulses are still there a decade later. It's like he has learned nothing, yet the world keeps giving him things.

As a child, he would "kill a bird and eat it." So, his dad sent him off to be trained in the hopes that the knights would fix his wayward son. I totally understand that. But, years later, Robert is still a cheeky, selfish, moody, drunk, who might fly into a blood rage at any moment. His skills may have improved under their tutelage, but he hasn't improved as a person, so why would they accept him into their ranks or continue training him?

He doesn't sound like someone any sane person would approve to represent the crown... unless the crown is corrupt. I mean, we haven't established what type of ruler the king is, so maybe it's possible he has need of someone as erratic as Robert. (Royal assassin, maybe?) I just think "knight" seems ill-fitting for him. He doesn't seem knightly at all. (And, just for the record, I'm not implying all knights are squeaky-clean choir boys. But they should at least maintain the illusion of being upstanding members of society, right?)

And the question of why someone like him would join a suicide mission still remains. Was he ordered to do this? Paid to do this? Lost a drinking game and got dared to do this? (I'm kidding, but that last one would be hilarious.)

I'm not trying to pass judgment, I'm just thinking out loud and trying to get a conversation going. Any character here could probably be picked apart and flaws found. I mean, they're real people, after all, and real people don't always make sense. For what it's worth, I'd love to see him in-game. I imagine he and Cephilia would butt heads a lot.

My character has attracted great interest. Okay let me break down what made me make a very weird knight.

Since time in memorial, knights have always sworn to protect the crown no question. And that has gone on and on until people became civilized. But there were some knights who began to see the error of their ways and turned away from the crown. Thus they became rogue knights. These knights were stripped of their rank and some became mercenaries or work for the opposing kingdom. That short history buff became a key in creating my character.

My character is..er.. a 'knight' of soughts. He was trained by the true knights of the crown but as you read the summary, he is not recognized by the court. They thought that he would change his ways, see that his way of living could be better if he was a true knight. But they failed miserably. So a very drunk man, very well equipped with the training of a true knight and not bound by the oath of the crown will become one dangerous mercenary. One that will be contracted to do jobs a normal knight wouldn't do. For instance, a normal knight often uses a one handed sword and a shield. For Honor taught us that. But my character takes a different approach by not using a shield and using two swords.

Maybe i should change the title from knight to something else cause maybe that might be the reason the Gm is nit picking my character. He is a knight but his characteristics are of something else. Perhaps there might be a dedicated name for such people like the Ronin of the samurai but the only name popping up is Rogue Knight.

So for example, if the crown is afraid of sending the true knights of the crown, who do they turn to? We have all seen that there is one person that so many people hate, but their skills are unquestionable. We can assume that the leader of the Guild maybe saw the skills and choose to turn a blind eye on his personality.

Also i am liking the idea of being drunk and dared to go to the ravine. That might actually fit into his personality profile. And i had to take a quick glance at your character. They are sooooooo going to butt heads if they are paired together. Also a character with angelic wings but cannot fly? Yeah my character is going to have a field day with your character.

I sincerely hope that has set your mind at ease and hopefully the GM.

 

[VioletShadow]

I have never seen someone nitpick a character like you do. Makes me think hard about a character and see them like a real human.

Removed the greedy and money mindness trait as i have seen them in your point of view. Added a new one, drunkard. Imagine someone like Sparrow. Always drunk but very reliable. Please note that he will not always be drunk but if he finds a bottle, he will take it. I hope that is acceptable

For the archery part, its a weakness cause my character has always been told that bows and arrows belong to the elves. So he will not pick up a bow and use it. It can be changed to inept at long range but before that is done, i just wanted you see from my point of view.

I wasn't asking you to remove his greediness and money mindedness. I was just asking for what reason would he venture into the Black Ravine. Based on your writing above, I take it that he was ordered to by the monarch?

About the archery weakness. If the situation calls for it, can he be forced to wield a bow? If so, then he cannot be naturally gifted at it. Other than that, I will accept it as a weakness.

I'm not particularly calling out your character, I've tried to do this to all character sheets so far. Although I do like the idea of changing your characters occupation to Rogue Knight.

 

[CkSmalling]

I wasn't asking you to remove his greediness and money mindedness. I was just asking for what reason would he venture into the Black Ravine. Based on your writing above, I take it that he was ordered to by the monarch?

About the archery weakness. If the situation calls for it, can he be forced to wield a bow? If so, then he cannot be naturally gifted at it. Other than that, I will accept it as a weakness.

I'm not particularly calling out your character, I've tried to do this to all character sheets so far. Although I do like the idea of changing your characters occupation to Rogue Knight.

I did have a read at the lore again and I have seen that the kingdoms are at troubled times and also your previous comment. Changing it was necessary for my character to blend in well and for it to go well with the lore. We can put it that he was sent by the monarch or maybe it was a drunk dare. Those two options are very tempting and i might need to think on that if that's okay

About the archery, if the situation calls for it, yes he will pick it up. But at this point i highly recommend we use the dice system on that. It will be easier that way and much more fluid.

Calling out my character was the best thing you have done and I give you my thanks. You have truly opened my eyes. I will change the name right away. If there is anything else, I am here to make the changes.

 

[VioletShadow]

I did have a read at the lore again and I have seen that the kingdoms are at troubled times and also your previous comment. Changing it was necessary for my character to blend in well and for it to go well with the lore. We can put it that he was sent by the monarch or maybe it was a drunk dare. Those two options are very tempting and i might need to think on that if that's okay

About the archery, if the situation calls for it, yes he will pick it up. But at this point i highly recommend we use the dice system on that. It will be easier that way and much more fluid.

Calling out my character was the best thing you have done and I give you my thanks. You have truly opened my eyes. I will change the name right away. If there is anything else, I am here to make the changes.

That is perfectly fine, but it was not my intention to implement dice mechanics to this roleplay. So I will just leave it at that. I have approved your character. I shall add him to the character list and his info to the lore page. Feel free to begin writing up an opening post for your character in the IC.

My apologies for the wait everyone, I should hopefully be able to post the next IC post tomorrow after college.

 

[CkSmalling]

That is perfectly fine, but it was not my intention to implement dice mechanics to this roleplay. So I will just leave it at that. I have approved your character. I shall add him to the character list and his info to the lore page. Feel free to begin writing up an opening post for your character in the IC.

My apologies for the wait everyone, I should hopefully be able to post the next IC post tomorrow after college.

Although I will change the archery part to inept at long range tomorrow and make my first post.

 

[BlueJay1403]

Oooooooooofffff
That's a lot of discussion right there.

Also, I guess I won't add the crystal thing then. Your reasoning is sound.

 

[AnonyMouse]

After checking out the character list and re-reading the character sheets, I must say I really like how this cast turned out. When this RP was still in the interest check phase it looked like there would be too many females, too many nobles, too many archers, etc etc, but things have really worked out nicely. The cast is very balanced, but varied, and I’m really looking forward to RPing with you all. In case anyone’s wondering, here’s some stats:

Out of nine chars, we have:

• Five males, four females.
• Five heterosexuals, two bi-, one down-for-whatever, and one no-means-no
• Four Eadigians, four Chubicans, and one unaffiliated.
• Five humans, two elves, one bird-lady, and one fox-boy
• Five members of the military or fighting guilds. Two mages. Three nobles.
• One adolescent, two teens, two in their early 20s, three in their late 20s, and one cranky 30-year old geezer (j/k).
• Four short-range combatants (daggers, swords, shields), three mid-ranged (glaive, whip, chain weapon), and two long range (archer or projectile).
• And, for moral alignments, we have one “lawful good,” two “chaotic good,” one “chaotic neutral,” two “neutral good,” one “neutral evil,” and two “lawful evil.”

I can’t wait to die in a cruel, dark pit together umm, I mean have fun together. Lots and lots of FUN!

 

[VioletShadow]

After checking out the character list and re-reading the character sheets, I must say I really like how this cast turned out. When this RP was still in the interest check phase it looked like there would be too many females, too many nobles, too many archers, etc etc, but things have really worked out nicely. The cast is very balanced, but varied, and I’m really looking forward to RPing with you all. In case anyone’s wondering, here’s some stats:

Out of nine chars, we have:

• Five males, four females.
• Five heterosexuals, two bi-, one down-for-whatever, and one no-means-no
• Four Eadigians, four Chubicans, and one unaffiliated.
• Five humans, two elves, one bird-lady, and one fox-boy
• Five members of the military or fighting guilds. Two mages. Three nobles.
• One adolescent, two teens, two in their early 20s, three in their late 20s, and one cranky 30-year old geezer (j/k).
• Four short-range combatants (daggers, swords, shields), three mid-ranged (glaive, whip, chain weapon), and two long range (archer or projectile).
• And, for moral alignments, we have one “lawful good,” two “chaotic good,” one “chaotic neutral,” two “neutral good,” one “neutral evil,” and two “lawful evil.”

I can’t wait to die in a cruel, dark pit together umm, I mean have fun together. Lots and lots of FUN!

Wow, I can't believe this. You noticed the same things I did(well i noticed because i update the character list lel), and actually made a post about it before me! Not to mention that your post includes extra details I wouldn't have included *grumble grumble*

Thank you for using your own time to create that analytical post! ^^

 

[AI10100]

I am surprised I was the only one who picked Chaotic Neutral as an alignment. It's quite refreshing!

 

[BlueJay1403]

Lawful Good - "No, we're not going to raid that base because that will be bad for everyone involved."
Neutral Good - "As long as you're not killing my friends and/or innocent people, I don't care what you do."
Chaotic Good - "Steal from the rich, give to the poor."
Lawful Neutral - "Bitches better not be breaking the law or somebody's gonna die."
True Neutral - "Fuck you, pay me."
Chaotic Neutral - "Steal from the rich, give to me."
Lawful Evil - "Just because I'm evil doesn't mean I'm a savage."
Neutral Evil - "I don't have a moral code, Insanity or a charming personality. I'm just a dick."
Chaotic Evil - "I BATHE IN THE BLOOD OF ALL THAT YOU LOVE."

Just my opinions on some alignment stereotypes.