Fantasy SSAWTMTTTI OOC

[Gaius Danius Griinia]

Gaius Danius Griinia I'd suggest reading up on how to write a consistent character, instead. Your guy changes demeanor at a moment's notice.

Eh my characters always change in accordance with their experiences. Usually I just add to my CS as I go!
Though they're all still mildly crazy

 

[Gaius Danius Griinia]

Eh my characters always change in accordance with their experiences. Usually I just add to my CS as I go!
Though they're all still mildly crazy

Plus ColdCash
I specified that he did whatever he wanted

 

[ColdCash]

Gaius Danius Griinia Yeah, see, here's the issue: When you pull the "oh man I'm so sad guys look at how sad I am after I killed a ton of people" and then not thirty seconds later your character is suddenly no longer sad and back to being an ultra smug prim-and-proper military man with no transition it just makes your character come off as a sociopath. And if you want to come off as a sociopath, hey, that's cool, just say the word and we can run with it.
But if you can't actually commit to anything then it isn't really development. It's just pulling things out of thin air to ensure your self-insert is always winning at everything forever and frankly that's not very fun to play off of at all. I get that I can come off as abrasive, yeah, but I'm genuinely trying to do you a solid and give you some writing advice here.

 

[Gaius Danius Griinia]

Gaius Danius Griinia Yeah, see, here's the issue: When you pull the "oh man I'm so sad guys look at how sad I am after I killed a ton of people" and then not thirty seconds later your character is suddenly no longer sad and back to being an ultra smug prim-and-proper military man with no transition it just makes your character come off as a sociopath. And if you want to come off as a sociopath, hey, that's cool, just say the word and we can run with it.
But if you can't actually commit to anything then it isn't really development. It's just pulling things out of thin air to ensure your self-insert is always winning at everything forever and frankly that's not very fun to play off of at all. I get that I can come off as abrasive, yeah, but I'm genuinely trying to do you a solid and give you some writing advice here.

I was just trying to embrace the "Inhuman" aspect
Plus writing long sequences of self discovery is really hard

 

[Gohan510]

Honestly thanks for the love on the character me and Juju were just talking about how our characters are amazing together. I created Kuto in attempt of a real villain, none of that “get distracted and get attacked easily.” He does everything right then and there without a slight sign of being worried of failure. Which is his flaw, though like KnightOfNight stated its a sad sight to see a littler girl that seems still pure to even be with a guy who’s heart already been filled with hatred. ColdCash and yes I’m looking forward to it for betrayal my knight of red!

 

[Gaius Danius Griinia]

I was just trying to embrace the "Inhuman" aspect
Plus writing long sequences of self discovery is really hard

I do in fact want help writing an arc where he actually learns to overcome his inability to trust anyone to do the big stuff and becomes an Emperor on par with...ummmm
Nero was crazy, Palpy was crazy...Leto.... became a sandworm
Augustus?
Lets go with Augustus

 

[Zerohex]

"It is a magic strengthened by the fear of his enemies" it says in the CS tho, which, there aren't actually any around. And the undead as written were mindless. The only one actively antagonizing him is my character who is very clearly not afraid at all. And since we're talking CSes I see nothing pointing to the superhuman durability you used to survive the attacks that hurt my character, who is entirely specialized in strength and durability. But, sure, you can teleport which I guess also covers instant clothes swapping and not being at all even mildly disoriented by your current position being turned ass over tits by a literal tree in an unannounced attack.

I can work with what I get, but really you just seem thoroughly set on your character going through everything perfectly to show how much of a badass he is at all times forever. Not to mention you don't seem to actually be trying to embrace the inhuman aspect, given he was moping about it not two posts ago, and I actually gave you an in for a sequence of introspection where he can realize that holy shit maybe he needs to actually put in work as a leader and that these people are perfectly in the right for being angry at him. But you do you.

 

[ColdCash]

Gaius Danius Griinia But, see, you don't need to do long sequences of self-discovery. I'm not saying you have to like go back and edit all your posts or add in a giant textwall of an internal monologue. All I'm saying is that it would be a lot easier to play off of your character if he actually had a personality to play off of outside "whatever is convenient right now". You want to play up the "inhuman aspect"? Sure man, that sounds cool. But in order to do that you need something to define what the "inhuman aspect" is.
So hey, we're both here. Humor me for a little bit: Try articulating what this "inhuman aspect" is, and how it effects your character's outlook.

Gohan510 Also it's cool man I like how you set up your own little subplot with the long-lost brothers thing, it's an interesting way to tie them together.

 

[Gaius Danius Griinia]

"It is a magic strengthened by the fear of his enemies" it says in the CS tho, which, there aren't actually any around. And the undead as written were mindless. The only one actively antagonizing him is my character who is very clearly not afraid at all. And since we're talking CSes I see nothing pointing to the superhuman durability you used to survive the attacks that hurt my character, who is entirely specialized in strength and durability. But, sure, you can teleport which I guess also covers instant clothes swapping and not being at all even mildly disoriented by your current position being turned ass over tits by a literal tree in an unannounced attack.

I can work with what I get, but really you just seem thoroughly set on your character going through everything perfectly to show how much of a badass he is at all times forever. Not to mention you don't seem to actually be trying to embrace the inhuman aspect, given he was moping about it not two posts ago, and I actually gave you an in for a sequence of introspection where he can realize that holy shit maybe he needs to actually put in work as a leader and that these people are perfectly in the right for being angry at him. But you do you.

I've been looking at my posts and I'm trying something
If I change certain aspects of it
ColdCash Can I make it so his recklessness comes from a combination of self doubt and loathing from losing the Faelands?

 

[Zerohex]

Going back and editing your posts constantly so it fits your current narrative just kinda proves you're not really sure where you're going with this and just retcon things where convenient, buddy. It'd probably be better if you actually committed to a direction and stuck with it, have the things that happen have actual tangible consequences.

 

[Gaius Danius Griinia]

Going back and editing your posts constantly so it fits your current narrative just kinda proves you're not really sure where you're going with this and just retcon things where convenient, buddy. It'd probably be better if you actually committed to a direction and stuck with it, have the things that happen have actual tangible consequences.

I don't want to ruin things for everyone if we can't find a consistent plot on my account
So I was just thinking that giving him a motivation like crippling loss may EXPLAIN but not EXCUSE his behavior

 

[Freshet]

Like, tangible consequences aren't a bad thing. They are a fun things. They give the world life, a sense of meaning and purpose. And they can lead into various interesting and neat things.

 

[ColdCash]

Can I make it so his recklessness comes from a combination of self doubt and loathing from losing the Faelands?

That depends on if you can connect it from point A (motivation) to point B (actually doing things).
And maybe, rather than editing your posts, you should read over them and see if you can actually find any kind of common thread that links them together and can actually be expressed? Like, seriously, try explaining this thing about the Inhuman Aspect to me. I'm pretty sure it'd actually help you work this out.

 

[Gaius Danius Griinia]

That depends on if you can connect it from point A (motivation) to point B (actually doing things).
And maybe, rather than editing your posts, you should read over them and see if you can actually find any kind of common thread that links them together and can actually be expressed? Like, seriously, try explaining this thing about the Inhuman Aspect to me. I'm pretty sure it'd actually help you work this out.

I see someone who was on such a winning streak that when he finally lost, he lost hard
Reading over them, I can picture this recklessness and refusal to trust others as a sign of someone who hasn't gotten over a tragedy and forces himself into the fray to either atone or die
Really what I was gonna go for concerning the Inhuman Aspect was the fact that he is a clusterfuck of different races that make him different from everyone else
He isn't like his Knights so he may not have the same desires or behavioral patterns

 

[ColdCash]

Gaius Danius Griinia See though, that's the issue. "Oh he's half everything so he's arbitrarily different" isn't actually defining anything. If his desires and behavioral patterns are different, then tell me how they're different. Give me an actual, defined thing he values or behavioral quirk that is different from a normal person because of his magic gene pool.
We can get to the other bit later but for now just give me one or two tangible differences in his mentality from a regular person. That's all I'm asking.

 

[Gaius Danius Griinia]

Gaius Danius Griinia See though, that's the issue. "Oh he's half everything so he's arbitrarily different" isn't actually defining anything. If his desires and behavioral patterns are different, then tell me how they're different. Give me an actual, defined thing he values or behavioral quirk that is different from a normal person because of his magic gene pool.
We can get to the other bit later but for now just give me one or two tangible differences in his mentality from a regular person. That's all I'm asking.

1:I forgot to put this in my CS...I'm sorry. Izuru DOES have an EXTREME lust for power which sprouted from his mother dying. Like he will cut down an entire army for something that'll make him a little bit more durable. Its a bit subdued now but he still has it. Think Vergil but less cool
2: He actually likes eating monsters... like soul and all. Its comes from his diluted demon blood. Those manticores he fought the other day? He probably wanted to consume them
3: Amaya Himura was right... he does have the chance to go completely nuts like his father. He JUST manages to keep himself sane enough to be Emperor. Demigods have short fuses or thin lines between sanity and insanity.

 

[Freshet]

So, from what I can tell then, he's a Psychopath?

 

[RubyZoo]

looks like it

 

[Gaius Danius Griinia]

So, from what I can tell then, he's a Psychopath?

Okay who ISN'T crazy in this army
We have Raging Scotsman, Rinzler the Snarky ASSASSIN and even Lady in Armor who thinks about the Emperor jerking off a lot

 

[Gaius Danius Griinia]

Let he who is without quirk... buy the first round... of chicken nuggets

 

[Gohan510]

Let he who is without quirk... buy the first round... of chicken nuggets

So how much would that be in our magical world? I think Kai can cash out.

 

[Gaius Danius Griinia]

So how much would that be in our magical world? I think Kai can cash out.

It WAS Seven Gold under King Izaya but Emperor Izuru has brought it down to One Silver and 30 Large Bronze on weekends
Though it comes with a free drink of your choice on Sundays

 

[Gohan510]

It WAS Seven Gold under King Izaya but Emperor Izuru has brought it down to One Silver and 30 Large Bronze on weekends
Though it comes with a free drink of your choice on Sundays

I think you can consider Kai to take off of work on sundays.

 

[Gaius Danius Griinia]

I think you can consider Kai to take off of work on sundays.

Everyone in the Order doesn't have work on Sundays unless there's an emergency
Though we all expect those nuggets

 

[ColdCash]

Gaius Danius Griinia Alright, sure. So he's power-hungry, unstable, and enjoys eating monsters. A little basic but, hey, simple is best. Now the idea is you take these traits and extrapolate them outwards and expand upon them a little, flesh your guy out. Maybe use this to inform a dynamic. Reach out and touch somebody, you know?

For example: You wanted to have a thing going with Amaya Himura , right? So say, hypothetically, maybe the Rinzler family aren't just some big-dick court assassins/manservants/whatever. Maybe that's just their day-to-day, and their real purpose is to hold the Emperor in check and cut him down should he descend into full-blown crazy, since that's a thing demigods do here. This, then, could give Amaya Himura an in for a character arc about how the previous Rinzler failed in their duty to assassinate the king and how she feels somehow at fault for the empire being such a mess right now. See how that organically emerges? Now, keep in mind, I'm not actually saying YES DO THIS SPECIFIC STORYLINE. It's just an example of what you and another person could do working with the traits you've listed.

The important thing here is that, now that you've established these things, you actually try to use them to inform your character a little. This doesn't mean you have to rave like a lunatic + eat a monster + kill someone for a magic item every post. It just means that, say, if your character was presented with the opportunity of chowing down on a monster carcass, he would at very least put some serious consideration towards doing so. Make sense?