School Daze

[Tinker Bell]

Quinlan looked up at Tegan when they made it to the band room. "Okay." He nodded a little bit. He watched Tegan leave and then went into the band room. He wasn't sure what he was thinking, but he thought something was definitely up with Tegan. He got his french horn from the cubby and got his folder too.


His mind kept going to Tegan. His smile never seemed to reach his eyes and it made Quinlan upset. He really wanted to help him, but Tegan wasn't opening up. He knew it would take time, but he was trying his hardest.

 

[-.-.Lucifer.-.-]

It took Tegan a few minutes to recover from the unexpected encounter with Jacob. The white-haired boy had been gearing up to leave before his friend had confronted him, thankfully not about the kiss no one had noticed. Paranoia sank in his stomach as the male's warning had clung to his ears before the redhead bound for the side parking lot. "Don't let me hear about your fuck-ups anymore." He'd said, poison in his words.


Tegan knew how ruthless the male could be, and he mentally hit himself for not being careful enough.


Tegan continued to wander the hallways, his notebook becoming full. He had only a few pages left. He sighed, staring at the clock.


1:53


One class left, then I can leave this hellhole. He thought, coming round the corner in time to see the band room empty.

 

[Tinker Bell]

Quinlan played when the conductor started. They ended early and he put the french horn away. The others were all talking with each other and laughing. Quin found himself upset by it. He had always sort of wished he could have friends like that and just have fun, but he never did. the bell rang and everyone left the room. Quinlan gripped his books to his chest as he left the room. One more period and he could leave for home. He walked through the halls with his head down.


Then he accidentally ran into someone and tripped backwards, landing on the ground. He looked up quickly and saw Tegan. "S-Sorry." He said quickly, standing up and gathering his things again. That was embarrassing.

 

[-.-.Lucifer.-.-]

The small figure collided into his chest, knocking the and out of his lungs. He looked down at Quite, who was now on the ground, his books pinned to his torso. Team sighed, filling down so his face was inches from the boy's. His eyelids drooped as he offered his hand to Quite. "Be more careful, you never know who you're bumping into." He said softly, helping him to his feet. He trailed his fingers over his soft cheek, swiping hair out of Quin's emerald eyes. Everything about him made his nerves set on edge. Maybe it was because he was doing something he was specifically told not to. Getting close to someone.

 

[Tinker Bell]

Quinlan's face went red when Tegan told him to be careful. "Sorry." He mumbled again. He seemed to have a bad habit of embarrassing himself in front of people. He tried not to do it, especially around Tegan. However, it seemed to happen most around him. At least in Quin's mind that's what happened. His face turned a brighter shade of red when Tegan's hand moved gently along his face. He felt his heat beat a faster.


"I-I, um, I sh-should get to, um, to class." He said quietly. He didn't want to be late to History. He couldn't be late to history, but part of him wanted to stay right here with Tegan.

 

[-.-.Lucifer.-.-]

A smile broke across Tegan's face when he noticed the boy's blush. He let his hand linger against his cheek for a few moments before closing his eyes and sighing. "Don't worry about it, next time I won't be so generous." He said softly, imitating the words he'd uttered to the male the first time he'd helped him out. He stared deep into the boy's emerald eyes, his own cheeks seeming to burn slightly. He willed himself to moved away from Quin, the feeling of someone watching him weighing heavy on the back of his neck. He nodded at the boy's words, and lifted his hand, palm stretched to the ceiling as a motion for them to keep moving. "I'll walk you to class." He said, stuffing his hands in his pocket, feeling the leather bound book snuggled close to his thigh.

 

[Tinker Bell]

Quinlan couldn't make himself move to even start walking to class. Then he repeated the words he had said yesterday after stopping the bus. A small smile twitched the corners of his mouth up before fading quickly. Tegan was staring right at him and it made Quin blush just a bit more and look at the ground. He still wasn't used to people looking at him. When Tegan said he'd walk him to class, Quin looked up at him.


"U-Um, o-okay." He then started to walk to class. He still felt awkward around Tegan. Well, he couldn't think of anything to say to him, that was what was awkward.

 

[-.-.Lucifer.-.-]

The white-haired man walked Quin to class, his feet clinking against the granite as they moved. He kept glancing at the boy from between his eyelashes, his heart ramming against his sternum. It seemed that he'd gotten use to this strange feeling. Was it admiration? He didn't know. He knew it was wrong though, very wrong. His mind trailed back to the events that occurred last night, his face frozen as his brain set on the particular details. He felt the sickness rise in his chest again, but he swallowed it hard, desperately trying to conceal his feelings from the smaller boy next to him.


Jacob's warning stung in his ears.


He shouldn't be doing this, putting his heart on his sleeve. He should be chaining it up, locking it away, and devouring the key. He should be strapping his chest with metal bands, adding a vault, and blasting it with hot glass. His head was spinning by the time they reached Quin's next class. He stood in front of the door, watching the last few students skid into their classes in time for the bell to ring. He half smiled at the brown-haired male, his eye hallow. "How much trouble did you get into for ditching yesterday?" He asked, knowing his own mother probably got a call but was too busy to answer, or just completely didn't care. It was hard for Tegan to tell with that woman.

 

[Tinker Bell]

Quinlan knew that Tegan probably kept looking over at him. He had this weird thing where he could just tell and it never seemed to be wrong. They finally made it to his classroom. He looked up at Tegan when he asked how much trouble he got in. "Dad, um, dad got real mad." He said. He wasn't going to mention how most of it was because he smelled like drugs though. "He's not letting me,um, go anywhere besides school for, for two weeks." He added. "But, um, that's, that's all I do anyway."

 

[-.-.Lucifer.-.-]

Tegan nodded slowly, the mentioning of a father making the sickness swell once more. He placed a hand over his mouth trying hard not to gag. He thought about the day they'd ditched, mind reeling back to the bag of weed he left back at the park. He lowered his hand after the wave of nausea subsided. "You should get to class." He said quickly before leaving Quin at the door. He bound for the bathroom, trying hard to keep the images in his head from playing in a loop. Fear gripped hard at his stomach, knowing what lay at home waiting for him.


Tegan slipped into the boy's room, glancing in the mirror. He stared at his reflection, his yellow-green eyes almost matching the color of his fading bruise. He lifted his white bangs, staring hard at the swollen gash along his forehead. Slivers had found their way under his skin, and last night he'd spent hours trying to pluck them out. Their little holes visible to his eye, he found a small splinter in the middle of the wound. He held his breath as he dug his nails into the flesh, working for a few moments before pulling out a small piece of wood, his fingers coated in blood. He stared at his own pupils, watching his dark soul swirl in the never ending blackness. He wondered why Jacob was so fixed on him staying away from Quin, he figured the boy was just taking precaution, looking out for Tegan in case of heartbreak. Something about the way he looked at Quin the other day fell along the top of his mind, something wasn't right there.


The man splashed water over his face, trying to calm his nerves, he couldn't keep freaking out like this, especially in front of Quinlan. He knew that the boy had already started to suspect something wrong in Tegan's life, not knowing that that thing was simply just Tegan. If he hadn't been so, well like himself, none of this shit would be happening to him.


He felt lost, cold, and alone whenever he looked in a mirror. His world, crumbling beneath his feet.

 

[Tinker Bell]

Quinlan grew concerned for Tegan when he looked like he was going to be sick. Then he told Quin to get to class. "A-Are you--?" Tegan was gone. Quin sighed and walked into the classroom. He sat down in his usual seat in the back, taking out his things. They got a project assignment where they all had to present something to the class. It was due in a week. It wasn't a major project, but it might as well have been. Quin was already scared by it. He couldn't talk in front of the class for anything.


When they were supposed to be working on the projects silently, Quinlan's mind went to Tegan. He definitely didn't seem okay, but Quinlan couldn't be sure.

 

[-.-.Lucifer.-.-]

After a long while of staring at his disgusting face in the mirror did Tegan sum up enough sanity to wander back into the hallway. He seemed to be doing a lot of ditching class lately, and was surprised he hadn't gotten caught yet. He walked down the hall, passing many blue lockers. His eyes scanned the inside of the classrooms, names placed with faces as they came into view. He could feel his thoughts trembling, mind slipping further and further into that dark pit he was so afraid of. Why didn't he just tell someone? Why couldn't he just get it all off his chest?


Because who would believe you? Who would care? You're nothing to them, to anyone.


You're just Tegan, the boy who puked after kissing a boy.


He probably thinks you're disgusting too...


Tegan tried to shake the voices from his head, his white hair slapping against his cheeks. He glanced up at the clock on the wall, heart skipping beats when he realized that in a few moments, he'd have to venture back home. He'd have to sneak into the house, walk up the stairs, and slump in his bedroom until morning. It was difficult for the male to process the act of going home, where home was hell. He clenched his jaw, slowly shuffling to his locker. He'd just put in the combination, when the bell rang. His stomach almost gave way, but he forced himself to stay calm. This was proving to be difficult, as his hands were trembling as he lifted his bag out of the metal cubby.

 

[Tinker Bell]

Quinlan sat in class, worrying about Tegan, until the bell rang. He gathered his things and walked to his locker, head down. It was hard to not get shoved around in the hallway, so he stayed against the wall not covered by lockers. Eventually he managed to make it to his locker and he pulled out the things he needed to take home for homework. That was most of what was in his locker. He put it in his bag. He hadn't been able to see Tegan. Then again, the lockers between them were all open the people between them were tall, so he could have been there. Quin knew it was stupid, but he still sort of thought of Tegan as a friend. He just wasn't going to say so any time soon.

 

[-.-.Lucifer.-.-]

Tegan stared blankly into his locker, his bag already slid across his chest. The long strap of his mess anger back pressed tightly to his torso, reminding him that the day was over. Soon the hallways would be cleared, the janitors would crawl out of their caves to pick up after the animals who roamed freely through the halls. Was it Wednesday, or Thursday? Tegan didn't know, he'd lost track of the days which was unlike him. The boy who was always checking the time, always making sure everything around him was in order, didn't know what day it was. Tegan gazed at his empty locker for a long while, stuck in his swirling vortex of uneven thoughts. He barely noticed how the hallway had cleared, leaving him gaping at his open cubby, like an idiot, or someone completely nuts. He didn't know which one suited him best.

 

[Tinker Bell]

Quinlan noticed the hallways empty pretty quickly as he grabbed what he needed. He looked up as he went to close his locker and leave for the bus. Then he saw Tegan standing there, looking sort of confused to him. He quietly closed his locker and went over to Tegan. "Are you okay?" He asked softly, surprised at himself that he didn't stumble over the question like he normally would have. He was just concerned about him.

 

[-.-.Lucifer.-.-]

The small voice ripped Tegan's attention from the darkness inside his locker. He snapped out of the strange trance-like state, pinning his eyes back on Quin. "Oh? I'm fine." He lied, closing his locker slowly and then clicking the lock into place. He couldn't stop his hands from shaking. Afraid the small boy would notice, he slipped them into his pockets, adverting from eye contact. "Let's get to the bus before it leaves without us." He said, half hoping they'd be left behind, giving Tegan a break from social conduct, and putting off his unavoidable terror awaiting at home, holding a whiskey bottle.

 

[Tinker Bell]

Quinlan nodded a little bit when Tegan said he was fine. "Okay." He knew he couldn't push him into tell him anything, Tegan could probably kill him if he got annoyed. Then he mentioned the bus. Right, it was going to be leaving soon. He moved his hands to hold onto the straps of his bag. He turned around to start walking for the door. When they made it, he noticed the last of the buses pulling away. Quinlan didn't want to stay after so it looked like they'd be walking home. If Tegan was going to go him.

 

[-.-.Lucifer.-.-]

Tegan fell behind the short male, hoping with everything in him that they'd have left before the two could make it. He stared after the large yellow vehicle as it sped off, a small sigh of relief accidentally escaping his lips. He shifted his gaze towards the parking lot, pleased to see that Jacob hadn't stuck around after going inside the school. The red-head was forbidden from setting foot on the school's property, let alone inside. But it didn't come to a surprise, by anyone, that the troubled black-eyed man would roam around outside the school waiting for Tegan to come and snort cocaine with him.


Today, on the other hand, was a different sort of day.


Tegan stepped next to Quin, his hand laying on the shoulder that held the man's bag. He wrapped his fingers around the heavy sack, and lifted it from Quin's body. The white haired boy didn't say anything as he slid the strap over his shoulder, pleased to carry his things. "I guess we're walking, huh Quin?" He asked, a small smile appearing over his face. This just meant that it would take longer to eventually come upon the rotting steps of his rotten home. He took a deep breath through his nose, his hand outstretched for Quin to grasp. "I'll walk you home."

 

[Tinker Bell]

Quinlan looked at Tegan's hand when it rested on his shoulder. Then he took Quin's bag, even though Quin could have carried it. It wasn't that heavy to him, he'd been taking all of his things to and from school since middle school. However he didn't really fight it, mostly because he couldn't gather the courage to say anything.


Thankfully Tegan did. "Um, yeah." He didn't mind though, sometimes walking could be nice. Then Tegan held out his hand. Quin looked at it for a moment, not sure what to do. After a moment, he took Tegan's hand. His heart skipped a beat, but it felt kind of nice. His face grew slightly red though. "O-Okay."

 

[-.-.Lucifer.-.-]

They walked in silence for a few moments, footfalls acting in synch as their arms swung together. Tegan stole looks at Quite from the corner of his eye, every time it made his breath catch in his throat. He felt guilt again, knowing this boy would have to endure the terrible darkness that loomed inside Tegan's mind. Maybe, this small sliver of light that stood next to him, could shatter the black hole that's edges seemed to widen with every heartbeat. He was serprised that the young man was even speaking to the troubled soul, especially after all he's done. The confusion that had clung to the side of his mind had faded slightly. It felt right to hold this boy's hand. "I'm sorry I kissed you earlier. I shouldn't have..." he trailed off, letting his eyes slip back to Quin's. "I should have asked permission first." He tried desperately to keep his sullen expression, but the memory of his guts exploding along the carpet made his cheeks burn red with embarrassment.


"I didn't throw up because of you... it was..." he wanted to say it, to let himself give some of this terrible burden to someone else to hold. Was it normal? It didn't seem to be conversation starter, at least not to Tegan.


"Never mind, forget it, just memories." He stared ahead of them, eyes falling on a silver SUV. His heart sank, gaze locking with Jacob's as he passed. Tegan closed his eyes tightly, hearing the sound of tires skid to a halt. The engine exploded, exauhst spilling through the air as the redhead whipped his truck around. A knot held Tegan's guts into place, making him rip his hand away from Quin's.


The silver vehicle began to roll next to them, slowly the passenger window fell into it's slot, black hues staring down at the two with an intense burning anger.


"Hey Teegs, hey Quincie." He breathed. Steam would be rising from his ears if that sort of thing happened. "Do you need a ride?" He asked between clenched teeth.


Tegan stared straight at him, keeping his ground. "No."


"Oh come on, are you sure? Those bags look pretty heavy." He teased, something detectable I'm his voice. Rage? Hurt? Tegan couldn't tell.


"Go home, Jacob. I'll call you later." He said through gritted teeth.


"Whatever. Just hope that this hunting trip goes smoothly Karma." He threatened before peeling out. The back of his car sputtering fumes in their faces.

 

[Tinker Bell]

Quinlan let the silence fall over them. It was sort of nice actually. Quin didn't feel all that awkward. Not like he did with every other person on the planet. Then Tegan started to talk and Quin looked up at him. He didn't want him to feel bad about it though. Quin looked down when Tegan stumbled over an almost-explanation. "It's okay." He told him, trying to make it so Tegan didn't feel bad about it. Besides, the kiss wasn't exactly bad.


Then a car turned quickly and Tegan's hand was gone. He looked down and recognized the voice as the guy waiting for Tegan yesterday. He messed nervously with his sleeves the entire time and didn't say anything. He didn't understand the dynamic between the two. Then again, he didn't understand much of anything when it came to Tegan.


He started to cough when the fumes from the car ended up in their faces. His sleeved-covered hands over his mouth. He hated exhaust of any kind, they made him feel sick.

 

[-.-.Lucifer.-.-]

Tegan looked back down at Quin, concern clouding his face at the boy's sparadic coughing. "I'm sorry about Jacob. I don't know what's gotten into him." He said, a half truth hanging over their heads.


He pressed his hand to the nape of Quin's neck, his fingers trailing over the boy's spine as they walked. His soft skin soothed the taller boy, a half-smile spread over his lips as he lightly stroked the boy's neck. The way Quin looked in the over-sized sweatshirt made his chest feel heavy. They passed the park they'd smoked weed at the day previous. Tegan made a small grunt, slightly angry at the loss of his drugs. He brushed the annoyance away, trying to focus his mind on the feeling of Quin's skin. In many ways the boy reminded him of a girl, this made the boy feel better about the strange feelings selling in his heart. "How did your parents react to you smelling like weed?" He asked, a small laugh falling from his teeth.

 

[Tinker Bell]

Quinlan managed to stop coughing after a few moments. "It's okay." He said quietly. He couldn't blame Tegan for the other guy's actions. Jacob, that was his name. Then he felt Tegan's hand move from his neck and down his spine. He felt goosebumps, even in the sweater and he was glad that Tegan couldn't feel them. Then he asked what the reaction was when he got home.


"D-Dad wasn't, um, he wasn't happy." He said, looking down. He knew it was weird that when Tegan asked about both his parents, he only mentioned his father, but he never thought much about it now. He remembered just how mad he was. Quin never saw him that mad and it sort of scared him. It scared him into never wanting to do anything like that ever again. Not that he blamed Tegan for it. He had made the decision, it was his own fault and he had to deal with the consequences.

 

[-.-.Lucifer.-.-]

The sound of Quin's small voice made the man's heart jump, its small feeling giving him rose cheeks. When Quinlan said his father "wasn't happy" at the fact that he'd smoke weed, made him wonder what the boy meant by wasn't happy'. Did he ever yell? Did he lose his temper? Had he ever struck Quin? What would he do if he ever met Tegan? His mind spun in circles, eventually landing back at the previous topic. "What do you mean by he wasn't happy?" He asked, his thoughts slamming back to the bruise along his cheek, and the gash on his head. He wondered if his mother would do anything about them if she saw. Nothing. Why would she care? He looked down at his feet, his hand falling from Quin's neck and stuffing back in his pocket.


They passed a few shops, some students loitered outside the building grasping ice cream cones and laughing. Tegan looked at the group of friends. His blood swam to his brain, muscle memory kicking into gear.


Yesenia Garcia, Jeremy Hunts, Ophelia Ram, Caleb Went.

 

[Tinker Bell]

Quinlan wasn't sure how to answer that question without revealing something that he never wanted to tell anyone. Ever. But he couldn't just ignore the question. He knew that. So he took a breath and tried to explain it without saying too much.


"Um, he started to yell." Quin thought for sure he had been ready to throw something. "He kept asking if I wanted to turn out like..." No. That was exactly what he didn't want to say. He just sort of started saying it and he barely stopped himself.


"He just yelled." He added quietly after a moment of silence. He didn't want to tell him and he just hoped that Tegan wouldn't ask. Although he had this feeling that he would and Quin couldn't lie. He wasn't good at it.


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