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School Daze

Tegan wiped the back of his wrist across his nose, sniffing sharply before looking up at Jacob. The bell rang, making him jump. His jittery movements making the other laugh. "Go to class. Get me some good material." He said, pressing his fingers to Tegan's cheek. The white haired man smacked the boy's limb away, before shuffling back to his locker.


He pulled out his math-book, his stomach tightening as he began to fret about seeing Quinlan in class. Why was Jacob acting so weird? Why was Tegan? Could Jacob be teasing him for the way he's been towards the small boy? He shook his head, wandering into Mr. Shlesky's classroom with his head hung low. He avoided making contact with Quin, bouncing his knees under the desk he picked two rows away from the brown-haired teen.
 
Quinlan watched people come into the room. He wondered if they ever noticed him sitting in the back of the class. A big part of him was sure they didn't. Then Tegan came in. He didn't look at Quin, so Quin looked down. Were they back to not talking? Had the talking just been because of the assignment?


The thought made Quinlan upset again. He somehow talked himself into thinking that they might have had a shot at friends. Now he wasn't sure, just like this morning. The bell rang and Mr Shlesky started class. Quin took careful notes like he did every other time.
 
Tegan made himself look busy by scrawling in his red note book the rest of the class, acting like he'd been jotting down the material Mr. Shlesky was so happily giving them. He kept his head up, scanning the classroom every now and again before returning to the pressing matters at hand. His mind trailed back to Jacob and how oddly affectionate he'd been during second period. His thoughts left the topic quickly when his gaze fell on the small boy who was intelligently scribbling the deffenitions given by the math teacher. He kept his eyes locked on the shape of his mouth, the way his eyelids dropped whenever he looked down at his writing. The bell rang.


Lunch.
 
Quinlan wrote everything down, even some of the things that Mr. Shlesky didn't put on the board. He had managed to distract himself enough to not think about Tegan two rows over. He snapped out of 'school mode' when he heard the bell ring. He packed up his things as everyone else rushed out of the room. He then stood up and left the room. He was going to go to the library like he usually did. He did the homework he got in his first few classes there. Sometimes he went to a practice room and worked on one of the instruments he could play.
 
Tegan watched Quin rise to his feet, his gaze falling at the back of his head. He quietly slid from his desk, his heart beats drumming inside his head. He swallowed hard, impusive behavior seemed to be how his body ran. He followed the boy to the library, making sure to stay a few paces back, keeping his footfalls silent. His brain was in a million places right now. Half of him was in awe, stumbling over his burning unknown emotions. He didn't understand the concept of love, or what it felt like. He placed his hand over his chest, a stabbing sensation flying through his ribs. If this is love, I hate it.
 
Quinlan made it to the library, opening the door and walking inside. He smiled a little bit at the librarian. He spent enough time to feel somewhat comfortable with the librarian seeing him. He went to a table in the corner, almost completely hidden by bookshelves. He got his homework out and started working on it. However he seemed to just stop. His mind was going back to Tegan. Trying to focus on his school work just made Tegan's face appear in his head. He put his head on the table and tried to stop thinking about Tegan, but he couldn't.
 
A white haired boy placed his hand on the Library's glass door, opening it slowly. He felt awkward setting foot in the large room full of books, considering the list time he'd been in there was the first day of freshman year. He glanced around. A large selection of computers stood to his right, the rows of liturature to his left. Just beyond that lay students lounged . The air smelled of thin old pages and apple-spice air freshener. He passed the Librarian, not bothering to respond to her overly cheerful greeting. He noted her nameplate on her desk, filing the information away for later.


His combat boots brought him through a heavy array of fictional books, their spines exposed, waiting to be plucked from their slumber. He continued down the narrow path, his gaze falling Quin's soft brown hair. He shuffled towards him, his hand landing on top of his skull. Team grabbed his chair, spinning it around so he was facing him. The male put both of his palms against his shoulders, his light green hues staring into the other's eyes. He parted his lips to say something, his cheeks burning. The words bubbled away as his face leaned closer.


He pressed his lips against Quinn's, heart ramming loudly inside his bones. His mind cleared, the only thing that consumed his thoughts were the shape of Quin's mouth. He brushed his fingers over the boy's forehead, pulling hair away from his face.
 
Quinlan flinched a little bit when he felt a hand on his head. Then his chair was spun around. Quin's eyes closed for a moment and opened them to see Tegan staring at him. His heart started to race quicker. What was he doing here? Had he...Had he followed Quin? But why would he do that? It looked like he was going to say something. His own cheeks growing red when Tegan leaned closer. He wanted to ask what he was doing, but Tegan's mouth stopped him. Confusion filled his body as his heart raced faster. His face became as red as a tomato. He wasn't sure what to do. After a moment, he moved his head away a little. He looked down at his lap, still feeling confused.
 
When Quin pulled away Team stumbled back, his body clinging to the bookshelf propped behind him. A few books toppled over, slamming to the floor. The loud noise echoed through the air, slicing the silence. The white haired boy stared wide eyed at the boy he'd just kissed. His brain suddenly exploded with angry voices.




Worthless, stupid, why would you do that? Think he loves you? No one does, you're pathetic. Disgusting. I bet he'll vomit.

​



Tegan lifted his palm over his mouth, a small whimper falling from between his teeth. His arms ached to wrap themselves around Quinlan, but his mind screamed at him to keep to himself. Everything bubbles under his skin at once. "I--" he stammered. This wasn't like him, this wasn't him. "Quin...?" He didn't know what to say, he had no idea what could have propelled him to do this.


Tegan didn't want to stick around, he'd done so much damage already. Would him leaving make it worse? Pins and needles spread through his ribs. "I'm sorry...I..." he had no explination.


​
 
Quinlan flinched when the loud noises of books falling off the shelves filled the library. He looked up at Tegan and felt his heart break a little at the look on his face. He seemed almost like he wanted to run. Quinlan felt bad for pulling away. It couldn't have been easy for him. It wasn't that he hated Tegan or the kiss. "N-No, I-I'm sorry." He mumbled. He began to twist the sleeves of his sweater around his hands. He looked down again, his face getting just a bit redder. "I, um..." Could he tell Tegan why he'd pulled away? "I-I've, um, n-never been, um, kissed before." He said it quietly, almost hoping Tegan hadn't heard him.
 
Green hues threatened to pop out of his skull. Fear gripped at his stomach. He'd just taken this boy's first kiss. What a vile way to lose your purity. Tegan could feel his disgust in himself crawl up his throat. Shards of glass sliced through the inside of his mouth. He might as well be choking on his own blood. He could feel since rise in his chest. How could he let himself defile thos poor soul? He could almost feel the poison seep from his pores, his contagious darkness swirling around them. Confusion overtook fear, leading to guilt. He remembered his first kiss...


Nausea ripped through him.


He pressed his hand as tightly to his lips as he could manage. He remembered the smell of whiskey, pain swelling in his gut, grizzly facial hair scrubbing the skin from his face. He remembered losing everything to the grotesque pig that occupied his living space.


Was he just as bad as Jase?


Without warning the male keeled over, bile shooting from his mouth onto the floor. Cold sweat broke out over his forehead. He felt tears roll down his cheeks as he heaved. The contents of his stomach spilled over the blue and green carpet. He wretched until his stomach was empty, leaving only dry heaves that shook his body. Apologies built on his tongue. "Oh god." He breathed, heaving once more before ailing the back of his wrist over his quivering pale lips. "Quin, I'm sorry." His stomach muscles spasmed. "This isn't what it looks like." His voice was scratchy. He scrambled to explain himself. "I didn't know... I have no idea why." He began to feel his composure die. "Quin I'm so sorry!" He cried, falling to his knees. He didn't care that he was sitting in his own sick. He didn't care that he cried in front of this careful soul. All he cared about was how wrong it was of him to take advantage of this small boy. He couldn't imagine what was going through the other's head. Tegan began to sob. Disgusting memories trailing through his mind, ones he thought were long forgotten.


By this time, students had flocked to see what was going on. Awestruck at the former football star falling to pieces in school.
 
Quinlan looked up at Tegan after a moment. He thought the other looked awful, almost like he was going through his own personal hell. Quin felt so bad, like he shouldn't have said anything about it. He looked down again. However when Tegan fell to his knees, Quinlan looked up at him. He stood up and stepped away on instinct when the other started to throw up. It took all he had in him to not get sick himself. He couldn't do that though, that would only make matters worse. Then Tegan started to apologize and other kids started to gather. The librarian came over and ushered students away, making them leave the scene that was sure to spread around the school in the course of the rest of the period.


Quinlan moved closer to Tegan, careful where he stepped. "Hey, it's okay." He told him softly. He wanted to reach out and wipe his tears away, but he wasn't sure how that would be taken. "I'm not mad at you. You don't need to apologize." He had just been taken by surprise, he didn't hate Tegan because of it. "Come on, let's get you to the nurse." He thought that was the best bet right now. The halls would be empty and there were no classrooms between the library and the nurse's office, he didn't think it Tegan wanted to be seen by anyone.
 
Tegan stared blankly at his hands, fingers trembling as hell raged in his brain. It took him a while to process what had just happened. The Librarian shooed away the surrounding students. He'd drawn too much attention to himself, and now the whole school would know. They'd all bug him about blowing chunks in the library. He didn't mind the odd gossip, as long as it didn't leak out that the cause was a kiss... from a boy.


His head whipped towards the voice, ears perking up at Quin's words. He nodded, his throat closing.


All he wanted was to say something, anything, to get these poisonous secrets out of his head. To keep them form eating him alive.


Why didn't he then? What was stopping him?


He thought of Jacob, knowing he'd be unpleased to find out the shenanigans the white-haired boy was getting himself into. Rumors of all sorts have probably already reached his ears, within moments. Tegan stood slowly, his knees buckling from the sickness that had washed over him moments ago. His torso ached, his lids tired. He almost lost his footing, but regained his stance by placing a hand on the short boy's shoulder. His face grew bright red, humiliation kicking him in the gut. He'd just kissed a boy, and then threw up, what a message that sent.


Quin mentioned the Nurse, which made Tegan snap out of his base state. "No." He said firmly, taking note of the marks on his face left from Jase. He cleared his throat. "I can't go to the nurse. I'm fine, really." He lied straight through his teeth.
 
Quinlan was glad when everyone left. He didn't think anyone saw the kiss, so at least that wouldn't be going around. Then Tegan used him to stay standing and Quin thought the nurse would definitely be the best option. He tried to stay calm, but he was worried about Tegan. He didn't know what was wrong and he wanted to help somehow. Then he said he didn't want to go to the nurse. No. He said he can't. There was a difference. "W-Why can't you?" He asked. He didn't understand. "A-Are you sure you're okay." He knew they should probably move soon, the librarian had no doubt called for a janitor by now.
 
Tegan tried to avoid eye-contact with the student under his hand. He felt his heart thumping fast, still trying to catch his composure before setting out. He heard the other's question. It burned in the back of his mind, driving his sanity to the very edge. He was on the brink of cracking, spilling every single detail that had led up to that day. He couldn't... He'd promised. Tegan had made up his mind long ago, and the person who cared about him most in the world needed him, at least for the time being. He swallowed the words he'd been about to cough up, his mouth hanging open. "I just, can't." He said, his voice choppy as he pressed past tears, trying his hardest to conceal the pain across his face. "I have an irrational fear of nurses." he lied, his hand reaching up to his swollen cheek. He brushed fingers over the red gash in his forehead. He looked a mess. Large bags formed under his yellow-green eyes, pulling his intimidating facade down more. How could he form the sentences? How do you tell someone who's genuinely worried about you a lie? Aren't they there to help you through thick and thin? Does he really care? After a long time of silence, Tegan moved, only to slump against the wall. The Librarian watched him struggle, her lips pursed tightly together. "Nurse, Karma, now. Quinlan will help you there, no more arguing." Her voice was stern, watching the troubled boy drown while someone threw him a rope that he refused to grasp. Quin, was certainly that person, trying his hardest to save a dead-man. Tegan groaned, knowing if he protested any longer, he'd definitely have more attention then he felt comfortable with.


The white-haired male used the shorter one as leverage again, walking slowly out of the library. He held his breath, staring down at his feet, using every ounce of energy he could not to word-vomit.
 
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Quinlan wanted to help him. He wanted to help him more than he ever wanted to help anyone in his life. And Tegan didn't seem to want it. He just kept pushing Quin away. For some reason, this would have stopped him before, but not now. Then the librarian told him to go to the nurse. Quin grabbed his things before walking with Tegan to the nurse. He kept glancing up at him, wanting to see if he was really okay. He seemed to be falling apart and Quin felt totally helpless. He usually felt helpless, but this time he hated it. However, he didn't push it. He didn't want Tegan to be mad at him anymore.
 
Finally giving way to the clawing on his insides, he opened his lips to speak. "Thanks for not giving me any greif for blowing chunks." His eyes slightly wide, posture very rigid and hostile. White hair fell over his brow, casting a shadow along his cheeks. He wanted to clear the air between them, to serve his emotions out on a silver platter. But he couldn't bring himself to do it. How could one explain feeling one couldn't comprehend? They made their way past blue lockers, Tegan's hand still pressed against Quin's shoulder. He slid his palm down his arm, and wrapping his fingers into the small boy's. His cheeks burned red as he stared forward, watching for any sign of stray students in the hallways. He felt like this was the best way to show his unknown feelings. It felt like he was on auto-pilate around Quin, his self control almost always slipping.
 
Quinlan looked up at Tegan when he finally spoke. He seemed like he could explode any second. "It's okay." He told him. He didn't want him to feel guilty for something like that. It can't really be controlled at all. He then looked down at the ground next. He felt Tegan's hand move down his arm and take his own hand. He wasn't sure what to do, he was probably thinking too much about it. He tended to over-think everything and it never ended well. So he took a steadying breath and stopped thinking. His hand slowly closed, holding Tegan's hand back.
 
The white-haired boy couldn't help but smile a little when the small hand curled around his own. He looked sideways at Quin, silently taking in his features from the side. It felt right, like he was sure of something for the first time in his life. He glanced back before them, the sound of footsteps rounding the corner. Tegan's hand shot to his side, leaving the small fingers hanging in the air. His eyes darted towards a football-player, his freshly shaven face showing surprise as his eyes fell on the two. "Jeesh, Karma, the hell did you do to yourself?" He stifled a laugh. "You look like something chewed you up and spat you out." Hunter Crow was an old friend of Tegan, they use to smoke weed and skateboard after football practice everyday. Now Tegan could barely look him in the eye. "Nothing happened." He spat, and placed his hand on Quin's back, leading to the nurse's office.


"Jeesh, what crawled up your ass?" The other asked, walking away.


This statement stung.


When they reached the office, Reagan's gaze floated towards the camera above their head. His thoughts wandering as he stepped inside the white room. The nurse lifted her eyes towards the door, shock sinking into her face at the sight of the student. "Wh-- did you just get into a fight?" She accused, standing to her feet abruptly.


"No, I threw up. They sent me here." He looked sideways, his arm dropping back to his side. He began to sweat, nervousness sinking in.
 
Quinlan felt Tegan let go of his hand and then he heard the footsteps. He tried to make himself look smaller, like he usually did if he felt someone was looking at him. It was one of the football players. Those guys scared him the most. They never did anything, no one ever did, he was just scared of them. Then Tegan's hand was on his back and they were moving towards the nurse's office again. He kept his eyes down on the ground.


When they got to the nurse, Quinlan looked up at Tegan. He looked nervous again and Quinlan felt bad. "It's going to be okay." He told him softly. He didn't want him to be nervous about anything.
 
Tegan held his breath as the nurse inspected his face, the bruise and large gashes taking notice. She looked at him seriously, her hands on her hips. "Are things at home going okay..." she paused,trying to place her finger on the boy's name.


"Tegan." He muttered, anger rising his voice slightly. The nurse grabbed an ear-thermometer from her drawer, placing a plastic seal around the tip before inserting it in the sick-looking kid's ear. She pressed a button, waiting for his reply. "I asked if things at home are okay, do I have to call someone about those bruises?" Her voice threatened, making Tegan's eyes grow wide. "Everything is fine. It was a biking accident." He said this without skipping a beat, but his pinkie twitched slightly, his only tell. The nurse sighed, nodding as the thermometer turned out he was a few degrees under the normal tempurature rate. "If you want to go home, we can call someone..."


"No." He crossed his arms over his chest. His face back to it's normal dull composure. He glanced at the clock.


1:02


"Well then I suggest you go back to class."


With that he turned back, glancing at the nurse's name pinned to her shirt, filing it away in his vault.
 
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Quinlan had almost been thinking what the nurse just asked, but he was too afraid to ask. He really had no choice but to believe him about it being a biking accident. Only it didn't explain the cut from yesterday. He hoped that Tegan wasn't lying about it and he didn't want to believe he was either. Quinlan liked to assume the best in people.


He wasn't sure why Tegan wouldn't want to go home, he was clearly sick. However, Quinlan couldn't make him or anything. Then it was time for the next period. His mind went to yesterday when Tegan convinced him to skip. He knew he couldn't do that today. His dad would kill him if he did it again. So he looked down, ready to get to class.


Sent from my iPod touch using Tapatalk
 
Tegan placed his hand on the short boy's shoulder, leading him out of the office before the nurse had enough time to change her mind. He wanted to get away from the authority figures as quick as possible, his brow covered in sweat. This was just great, Jacob would have already been tipped off from an inside source about Tegan's stupidity. He would be having an ear full soon enough. The boy's eyes almost twisted in anger, knowing his actions would set them back a few days. He let a sigh escape from his lips as they round the corner, a wave of students washing over them. Tegan moved behind Quin, the boy's head barely coming up to his chest. It felt wrong of him to be so close with the boy, yet so distant. He lay his arms limply over the boy's collar bone, shielding him from the rush of traffic. His broad shoulders being rammed into by passing students, leaving the shrimp-sized boy untouched. "What do you have next?" He asked, his voice calm, breath falling along the top of Quin's head.
 
Quinlan looked up at Tegan when he started to walk with Quinlan out of the nurse's office. He then looked forward, knowing he'd probably trip over his own to feet if he kept looking up. When they encountered more student's, Quinlan was slightly surprised when Tegan moved behind him. It was definitely easier to walk when he didn't have to worry about people hitting him. Although he couldn't help but notice again just how short he was.


Then Tegan asked what he had next. It took Quin a moment to remember what he had next. "Um, band." He said. Music was the one thing he really liked doing and he could play about five different instruments.
 
Tegan nodded silently, his gaze falling along the faces who passed. With every feature that fell across his vision, a name popped into his head. It seemed that he'd now memorized every student and staff member's identity, placing a face with a title. He turned the left corner, careful to weave through the crowd at Quin's pace. They finally reached another room, unorganized music spilling from the crack under the door. He half-smiled at Quin, the grin never touching his light hues. "Have fun, okay?" He breathed, the tone of his voice supprisingly soft. With that he left the boy outside of his class, wandering to the back entrance. Before he had enough time to open the back door, an angry Jacob collided with his body, causing Tegan to swear loudly. "Fuck, Jake, you scared me."


"Enjoying your time with the little shrimp?" He spat angrily, his freckled face burning red with rage. His black eyes were swimming with something the white-haired boy was unfamiliar with.


"You need to be more careful dumb ass. You're causing so much trouble for me." He growled. "Just do your rounds, get me some good material, and get your head out of Quincie's ass!" His voice raised, making Tegan shrink back slightly.


"Fine." He said bluntly, before Jacob's face softened. His eyelids drooped when he put an arm around Karma's shoulders.


"Why'd you blow chunks? You sick or something?"


Tegan shook his head, refraining from connecting their gaze. He felt uncomfortable with his friend pressed so close to him. He stayed silent, not mentioning the kiss or even the events that happened the night before.


"Well what happened then?" Jacob pressed.


"Nothing, it must have been something I ate."


Jacob took this excuse, knowing well that the boy was lying through his teeth. He padded his palm on Teeg's chest, as a way of consoling him.


"Get back to it, man. We have two days." He smiled wide, a crazed look in his eyes.
 
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