Our Secrets ((GxG))

[Zotohxan]

((Haha, don't feel bad.. I'm homeschooled, and though I finished my work last year, I still haven't got my diploma... So yay. *w*))


I was so relieved when our number was called.. I didn't pay attention to anyone but Teag, staying close against her and getting into the car as fast as I possibly could. While thinking again of the man, I could honestly feel the marks he left on me.. Even still, it feels as if they're burning, reminding me of how someone has touched my body.. Some has put their hands, lips, body... On mine where no one but Teagan had before. Where I didn't want anyone but Teagan to be.


When she asks what she can do, I just turn to her and give a sad smile, shaking my head. "Just.. Don't leave me alone?" I offer, sniffling back more tears. I'm done crying... I'm so, so tired of it. "When we get to your house.. After we eat, can we just go cuddle up in your bed..?" I could feel the knot rising in my throat again.. I was going to start bawling if we didn't get to her house incredibly fast. Even being in a car right now... It's putting me over the edge. "I just want to feel you... I want you to feel me, Teag, I..." I close my eyes and shake my head, choking back a sob. "I don't want to feel him..."

 

[Memster101]

(( Oh jeez xD What's homeschooled being like? Do you wish you went to public or?))


I felt my eyes prick with her pain, hating how helpless I felt. I wished there was some way I could erase the memories, or help her forget, even for just a little while. Find someway to make her feel pure again. "Of course, love..." I murmured softly, my hand dropping to her neck to gently massage it. I continued to glance absently at her as we continued the drive home, worried endlessly about how she was doing. What would happen when I wasn't there the next day to calm her down? When she was alone with her parents and her thoughts? A sick feeling rose once again in my stomach and I knew I wouldn't be able to eat more than a few bites, no matter how much she insisted.


A few minutes later we pulled into my drive way and I quickly whisked the food and Mir into my house, kicking my wet shoes off. I rubbed my feet against the carpet, trying to warm them back up as Mir shut the door behind us. I led her into the kitchen, setting the food down on the table, before finding an extra plate and silverware for the both of us. "What do you want to drink, babe?" I asked her, pulling out a set of glasses as well. "We've got some soda, water, juice." And alcohol. I definitely wouldn't have minded taking a few swigs out of that. I knew I tended to be more handsy when I was drunk though, so I forced myself to forget about that idea. "And do you need any medicine for the pain? I'll go get the heating pad in a second, I just want to get everything all set up first."

 

[Zotohxan]

((Eh, I've been to public.. Most of my life, actually, up until 10th grade. I got bullied really bad, so after 11 years of that my Mom finally pulled me out. So.. I can't really say I'd rather public xD ))


When I sit at Teag's kitchen table, I start being able to calm down... I hear all of her questions, but it takes me a minute or two to find the composure to answer. And when I do, even I surprise myself. "Teag... Would your parents notice if we took some vodka..?" I know there's always a bottle somewhere in the house.. She used to try and get me to drink with her, but I've just never really been interested.. Teag can all she likes, I've got not problem with it, but.. Before, it was just never really for me.


But right now, I just wants to be numb.. To forget what happened, hell.. At this point, I'd be fine with forgetting my own damn name. So long as I remember my beautiful Teag, I'm fine. I figure she'll say no, but... There's no harm in trying, right..? I reach my hand up, pushing it through my hair and wincing when I bend my wrist wrong, pulling on the cut I made. "Ow..." I mutter, then remember that I'm meant to be hiding this from Teagan... I quickly move to hide my hands in my lap, wrists pressed together. "And.. I don't want any meds, I just.. Want you. And the vodka, if we can..." I lower my head to the table. Except for the man, except for this last week, I've never hidden anything from Teag before... And I don't really like it.

 

[Memster101]

(( Oh, I'm sorry to hear that =/ High school is a really stupid place most of the time. I know I didn't have the best of times. I'm glad you got out of there though ))


I blinked in surprise at the request, and under most circumstances would have been thrilled. This just proved how much pain she actually was in. "No, they wouldn't mind," I informed her. Hell, the had walked in on me a few times drinking straight from the bottle and all they tended to do was half heartedly yell at me and then leave me to my own devices. I set the dinnerware on the table next to the sack and knelt by the small liquor cabinet my parents kept between the dining and kitchen area. I rummaged through it until I found the requested liquor and sat it up on the counter. "Do you want anything to cut it with? It's pretty strong and I know you aren't use to it... I don't want you to get sick."


I poured a fair amount into each of the small glasses I had grabbed, wondering if I shoulder water hers down just in case. I hadn't ever actually seen her drunk before, just a little tipsy. I chewed at my lip before deciding that she was an adult and could make her own choices. While she could drink as much as she wanted, I'd limit myself just to make sure she didn't get into too much trouble. I brought the glasses and bottle over, setting them down on the table before distributing the breakfast between the two of us.

 

[Zotohxan]

((It's cool.. But thanks. ^-^ I'm sorry it didn't go that hot for you either, though. ;w; Teenagers can be harsh... And stupid as hell.))


I shake my head at the offer of something to cut the liquor with. I knew it would burn and I'd feel like hell, but.. That's kind of what I wanted. It'd also work faster this way... The moment she sets the glass in front of me, I pick it up and down the whole thing. I let out a quiet scream after putting the glass down again, scrunching up my face and shaking my head vigorously. "Shit..." I mutter. I could already feel my head spinning a bit...


I stand and lean over the table, kissing Teag briefly on the lips before sitting down again. I take a deep breath, trying to calm my racing heart. It was breakfast... Time to eat, then I'd get to go up with Teag and just rest with her.. Hopefully the alcohol will be enough in my system that I won't start randomly crying again or anything.. But also, hopefully I won't do anything stupid. Hopefully I'm a calm drunk... "Remember... Halfing it..." I say softly, giving a brief smile to the girl beside me. I wasn't even paying mind to the tears still threatening to fall down my face... Right now was time with Teag, and just her. Not the memories of that man.

 

[Memster101]

(( Agreed xD Maybe college will be better. Do you think you'll go or just do classes online too??))


I blinked once again in surprise as Mir downed the cup, smiling slightly. Lord this girl was going to drink herself into a stupor before she knew what hit her. I decided I'd wait a small while before I filled her cup again, wanting her to see how she felt before continuing. "Easy gorgeous..." I murmured softly, resting my hand over hers. My lips briefly met hers and I felt a slight shudder run up my spine as I tried to register the familiar taste and familiar lips together. I took a swig out of my own glass after she had sat back down, tucking my legs under myself to warm my toes some.


A faint smile touched my lips at her reminder and I nodded some, idly wondering if I got her drunk enough if she'd forget about it. I picked up the fork and idly started to cut the pancakes up into small bites with the side of it, feeling my stomach churn dangerously at even the thought of putting it into my mouth. I'd try and spoon down as much as I could for Mir's sake and hope she had fallen asleep or dozed off by the time the food decided to make an escape attempt. Stabbing a small section of pancake, I popped it into my mouth and looked over at Mir. "Did you just want to doze a bit after we eat, watch something, or...?" I asked her, smoothing a hand through my pale blonde hair.

 

[Zotohxan]

((I'm sure it will. I've got high hopes. owo


And I want to try actually going.. Mostly because my friends are all going on-campus when they start, so.. Plus, ya know.. Isolation sucks. xD ))


I shake my head, swallowing hard. I reach over for the bottle and fill my glass again, though I decide to wait a bit before I actually drink it. "I just want to lay with you... We can put on a movie if you want, but..." I stall to take a bite of bacon, knowing that I would probably need to eat before I got too drunk to remember to do so... "I don't really care what we do.. I just want to hold you, and have you hold me...


There they are... I can feel the tears coming again, making me swallow down the bacon before picking up this glass and taking down about half in my drink, putting it down again. Once more I scrunch up my face, whimpering slightly. "God..." I mutter, "How do people drink this all the time!?" But I wouldn't complain for long... In fact, I didn't even last another full minute before I took down the last half. This was so weird... But god, I could already feel my head spinning... Bad. "That was fast...."

 

[Memster101]

(( That's good I have like no friends at my campus cause I'm awkward and antisocial xD ))


I managed a few more bites of pancake before I gave up trying to eat anymore, downing a good portion of what was left in my cup instead. I smiled faintly when I saw how much it was already getting to her, but nodded in compliance. I was fine with just laying together. The better the chance of her falling asleep. After a few more minutes of watching her switch between vodka and food, I decided it was time to get Mir into bed before I had to try and carry her into the bedroom. "Come on, I'll put the left overs in the fridge and we can bring the bottle with us into my room," I prompted gently after she had finished her fourth or so glass. I had only just finished my second and was starting to feel a little tipsy.


Taking the bottle from her, I pushed the cork back in the bottle and put the remaining food back into its original container, then into the sack. Once the food was deposited into the fridge, I helped Mir up from the table, an arm wrapped around her waist while the free one held the bottle. It was some feat trying to get us both into my room, with me so light headed and Mir on her way to being drunk. Thankfully we made it there safely and Mir was soon placed on my bed with the bottle in her hand. Finding my phone, I found a soothing playlist of songs and tossed it gently towards the foot of my bed, then closed my door and turned off the lights.


I waited for Mir to lay down and get herself comfortable before sliding in next to her, wrapping my arms around her and pulling her close in the cool darkness. "How are you feeling?" I asked her softly, smoothing a hand against her hair gently.

 

[Zotohxan]

((Awwh ;w; I know that pain... Do you have any interest in clubs of any sort? I've always heard starting up at clubs in college can help a lot..))


I find myself moaning softly when Teag runs her hand across my hair... It just felt so nice, so.. Soothing. "Baaaabe..." I slur. I know I'm drunk... All the alcohol I've had so far hasn't even fully hit me, but.. I have no doubt. I'm drunk for the first time in my life. I cuddle a bit closer against Teagan, our fronts now flush against each other. "My head's so... Fuzzy... And my body's tingling, but not like when you touch it..." It's strange... I want my mind off sex, yet... That's the only thing going through my mind right now. All the times Teag and I have had sex...


"You're really good, babe..." I say, my voice almost stern. I reach down and take her hand, placing it on my waist. "I want you to touch me... My body hurts where he did." I pout slightly, then finally realize that I had the vodka bottle still in my hand. My eyes go wide, a huge grin appearing. "More!" I shout, pulling out the cork and putting the opening to my lips, gulping down several mouthfulls before pulling it back, shaking my head vigorously and hiding my face against my girlfriend's chest. "It burrrrrrrrrns!" I pull back after a few moments, tears in my eyes but the pout once more there as well. "But I still remember 'im.... I thought I was supposed to forget... How much.." I turn to glare at the bottle of clear liquid, "How much do I have to drink before I forget him?"

 

[Memster101]

(( I've thought about it. I looked into an lgbtq one but I haven't heard anything about it >> Any idea what clubs you might join?))


I was surprised by her sudden throw of emotions, swallowing when she pressed against me. Why was she torturing me like this? I held back a groan of frustration and listened to her rant, draw my hand to her waist. I slid my hand under her shirt, rubbing gently at her smooth skin. How I wished I could take her pain away. If I could, I would reverse our situations. I would have accepted the trauma with open arms know that my Mir wouldn't have to deal with this horror inside of her. My legs tangled with hers and I felt myself slowly relaxing into the bed as the alcohol started to hit me. If I wasn't careful, I knew Mir would be getting a lot more than cuddles today.


As amusing as it was to see her child-like delight at the rediscovery of the bottle, it hurt me to know this was what she thought she had to resort to. Her next words pained me even more and my heart broke. My stomach churned dangerously as a thought appeared into my head. Gently, I stole the bottle from her, setting it on my nightstand. I propped myself on an elbow, using my free hand to gently cup her cheek. "Mir...Do you want me to help you forget about him?" I asked softly. She knew of my history of using sex as a coping method and I knew that she would never take advantage of me like that... under normal circumstances. This, by far, was far from a normal circumstance.


If it would make her forget about the pain, even for a little while, I was willing to sacrifice my feelings. It wasn't like having sex with Mir was torture, far from it, but in the context...I shook the thought out of my head, chewing lightly at my lip as I studied her face.

 

[Zotohxan]

((Pssh, they'd better get back to you. They'll be lucky to have you o;


And I dunno... I don't know for sure where I want to go yet, so I guess I'll have to see what the school offers. x3))


Even through the drunken haze in my mind, I knew what Teag was offering... And it just made more tears build up. She was going to sacrifice how being used made her feel, for me... "Teag..." I whimper, lunging forward and wrapping my arms tightly around her. "I love you... I won't use you..." My words slur slightly as I shake my head against her neck. Even though I'm sure it'd help, and.. Even though I know it'd make me forget, I will not use my Teag... I'm in love with her, we're equals, I would never use her for anything but love. Not for making love, or having sex, or however you wish to say it.


I pull back, kissing her lips gently, realizing now that tears were falling down my face. "It hurts... A lot, but... I'm not going to hurt you just to make it better..." My words were muttered, almost like a child explaining why they did something bad. I don't know why... I just feel guilty still over what the man did. I still feel like I betrayed my girlfriend. "I'm so sorry, Teag..." I cry out, trembling slightly. "I didn't want it... I tried making him stop, but I couldn't... He just kept on touching me and doing whatever he wanted, I... I couldn't stop it... But I-I love you! I promise! I-I love you, Teagan... I don't want nobody else..." I flopped back against the bed, my eyelids starting to grow heavy as I felt more and more of the alcohol hit me. It was crazy... I still remember everything, in fact... It's almost like the alcohol made me remember it more. "I don't wanna remember it!" I shout, more and more tears falling down my face.

 

[Memster101]

(( Aww, thanks xD And true enough! I'm just going to a community college right now xD ))


And now I had made it worse. I pulled Mir close to me as she started to cry, trying to shush her gently as my hands smoothed against her back. "I know... I know. I know you love me and you didn't want any of that," I hushed, hating the feeling of her trembling against me. Absently, I reached down with a hand and found the bottle, taking a large drink from it, preparing myself for what was ahead. I knew that she had told me not to, but I knew that I could be plenty persuasive and along with the influence of the alcohol...she wouldn't argue for long. I let her finish her ranting, just holding her and soothingly stroking her hair and rubbing at her back. But when she calmed momentarily, I ceased my opportunity.


Gently, I pushed her against the bed, leaning over her. I felt a few tears prick my eyes but quickly ignored them, pressing my lips to hers. I waited for her to return the kiss for a moment before straddling her waist, keeping it innocent enough to ease her into it. I felt horrible, both for myself and for Mir, since I was basically doing the frog in boiling water trick on her. My hand combed gently through her hair, every so often pausing to brush away her tears. When I felt that she had been eased in enough, I pulled back, my grey eyes stormy with want, guilt, and sadness. "Let me help you forget..." I murmured softly into her ear, setting my hands under her shirt and on her waist. "Please...?"

 

[Zotohxan]

((Eh, I'd guess that's easier than throwing yourself into some huge university, no? Easier to cope with? ;w;


Also.. It's now past midnight, and I've got get up at like 5:30 in the morning, then I go into work a bit later on.. So I'll reply if I can in the morning, and if not it won't be until sometime late tomorrow afternoon.. But now I must sleep. x3 Good night, and sleep well~))


I whimpered when Teag pulled away. Honestly, my mind was so cloudy.. I could barely even tell what was happening. I think the vodka I had when we layed down just hit, because... Finally, I'm not thinking of anything. Though, that could also be from Teagan's kiss... That always drove me crazy, and blanked my mind pretty fast. Without even thinking I nod, my arms coming up to wrap around her neck. "Do what you want." I slur, my eyes closed. I couldn't even open them at this point...


My body felt so, so strange... I'd never been drunk before, but.. I didn't ever imagine it felt quite like this. I slowly shift my lower body beneath Teag's, trying to get a bit more comfortable. There were tingles all through me and I could feel the want building, just from feeling her skin against my own. I didn't care what she did... I was fine with anything. I trust Teag, I love her... "Love you." I say, opening my eyes for a brief moment before they're forced closed again by the alcohol.

 

[Memster101]

(( Yes :3 I feel like it's a lot more relaxed too. And oh dear xD Sleep well~ and talk to you some time tomorrow!))


I had so many mixed feelings within me as she gave me permission. Of course I wanted her and my desire for her was through the roof, it tore me apart to see her so...well drunk to be honest, and to slipping into old habits again. I swallowed, bracing myself for whatever may come, before momentarily leaning back to rid of the sweater I had borrowed from her. I gently helped her up enough to pull her own shirt off as well, going on autopilot. I pressed back against her now with need, my lips meeting with her wantingly. Despite how badly I could feel myself craving her, I kept myself in check to be gentle with her. Before I knew it, things had gotten fairly heated and I could tell for the time being, I had accomplished what I had set out to do. Her mind was definitely no longer on what had happened, but on what was currently happening. Thankfully, she was too preoccupied to feel my tears patter against her bruised skin as I continued my quest....


Mir laid against me, exhausted but seemingly in pleasure and at peace for the moment. Mission accomplished. I held her against me, for once ignoring the wave of self consciousness I felt as our bare skin pressed together. My heart was pounding, both from the labor of the previous venture, and from the pain it caused me. But my Mir was happy and as long as she was happy, I could at least pretend to be until she fell asleep. "I love you..." I whispered softly in her ear, glad the room was dark to hide my tear stained cheeks from her. I kept her pressed to me until I felt her breathing slow, knowing she had fallen asleep. I turned my face into my pillow, silently crying from the pain I felt.


While it certainly wasn't Mir's fault, she hadn't exactly followed my own suit of gentleness and I ached, my pale skin covered in bite marks, scratches, and hickies. Under any other situation, I would have worn these with pride... but today all I could think about was how familiar this was. My partner passed out beside me, both of us drenched in sweat, covered in various marks, and me left to contemplate what I had just done. Bile bubbled in my stomach and I fumbled around for the bottle of vodka, finishing it off. Tucking myself back against my love, I hid my face into my pillows in case she woke before I did. I knew it would break her heart if she realized that this hadn't been a casual affair, if she realized she had used me.


Eventually though, both the alcohol and my tears eased me off to sleep. The sleep was gratefully a dreamless one.

 

[Zotohxan]

((Well that's good! -w- I hope it continues to go well for you~ ^-^))


I wake up with a pounding in my head, and absolutely no memory of the previous night past my first glass or two of alcohol... I open my eyes, groaning in pain and realizing that it's totally dark in here.I glance to the clock and see it say five, causing a frown to form on my face. I'd lost the entire day... It was just turning dark outside, then.. But my biggest fear, is the fact that Teag's parents should be home any minute, if they weren't already.


At least.. That's my biggest fear until I realize that I'm naked, and so is Teag... My hand runs down her side, and I can feel tears forming in my eyes. If we had sex... I used her... In my drunken state, in wanting to forget what was done to me... I used the one person in this world who would never hurt me. Ignoring the pain in my head, I scramble around to get out of bed. I don't deserve to share one with my Teag... Not after what I did to her. "I'm sorry..." I whimper, even just the sound of my own voice caused the pounding to increase, but in this moment, I just don't care... Right now, I sort of hate myself. I know that Teag would've gone along with it, even if she didn't really want to. Because she cares about me, and wants me to be happy. And while I appreciate the hell out of that, I hate myself for putting her in that position... I'm no better than the man.. He used me for pleasure, I used Teag to forget...


I search around in the dark, begging to find my clothes. My body was a bit sore even though I'm sure she was gentle, so it made even walking difficult ,but.. That's not what mattered right now. All that matters is the fact that I used my girlfriend, in the way I swore I never would. I could completely understand now if she never forgave me... Right now, I just need to get out of here. Go rest in the living room or something, but.. I can't stay up here. When she wakes up she'll hate me, and I can't bear to see that expression on her face.


After thankfully finding my unders, sweater, and sweat pants, I throw them all on hastily and stumble out of Teag's room. The moment I'm out the tears start to fall from my eyes, and as I go head down the stairs I'm still trying desperately to try and remember what happened today... I thought I'd slept through the night, but that was wrong... I don't even know what happened, and I feel like shit... A horrible, using, shitty piece of shit. I make my way into the living room and promptly curl up on Teag's couch. I really hope her parents don't come to find me this way... They'd think something was wrong between us probably, and if I'm being honest.. i don't really want to tell them the truth. The'd probably be sympathetic because of what happened to me, but I know they'd hate me if they found out I used their daughter... I don't want to see that look on anyone's face...

 

[Memster101]

(( I wouldn't say it's going well but at least somewhat better than high school xD I have my first math exam tomorrow >> ))


I stirred absently as I started to awake, disturbed by the absents of warmth Mir had provided. I turned over onto my back and frowned when I was able to confirm the fact that she wasn't in the bed anymore. My own head was pounding fiercely from the mix of alcohol an lack of food. I let out a groan when I sat up, my vision going momentarily black and I struggled to not just fall back against the mattress. Waiting for the spell to pass, I listened to the wild beat of my heart as it hammered away in my head. I could only guess how bad Mir was feeling, being her first time really and all. My vision cleared and I stared down at myself, sobering up some as the memories of our venture started to cloud my head. A few tears escaped my tired eyes and absently I rubbed them away. This was no time to feel sorry for myself, I needed to find where Mir was.


After taking a moment to slowly stand up and let my vision freak out once more, I quickly redressed and headed into the bathroom. God I looked awful, I thought, my nose scrunching up as I stared into the mirror. Turning the facet on, I splashed some water into my face, trying to look a little less scary. Now that I was up and walking, the nausea had started to waken and my stomach gurgled ominously. My lips pressed together and I glared down at it, silently threatening it if it didn't calm down. It decided to humor me some and stop the gurgling, but I still felt sick. Of course, the was for a multitude of reasons. I hated that I had, had Mir use me. Knowing that it would upset her, I had still gone through with it. But at least for the time she had seemed to be able to forget about the man. Glancing at the hickies that lined my neck, I would have said so.


Swallowing, I opened up the medicine cabinet to find Mir some painkillers for the headache she was no doubt experiencing. I pocketed the bottle and headed down the stairs slowly, one hand securely braced against the wall to help me keep my balance. God she done a number on me, I thought as I tip toed shakily on stair at a time. Normally I would have probably teased her about how much I ached, but I knew that it would only upset her more if I did. Finally I reached the end of the treacherous stairs, happy I had managed to keep from falling down them.


I frowned some when I saw Mir curled up on the couch, looking miserable once again. Thankfully, she was too busy in her moping to notice me and I headed into the kitchen to grab her a glass of water for the medicine. This done, I headed back into the living room, kneeling in front of her. "Mir?" I asked softly,blushing faintly at how hoarse my voice sounded. "I got some medicine for you..." I set the cup down on the floor beside me, grabbing the bottle from my pocket. I popped the cap off with practiced ease, tapping out a few of the pills into my palm then held them out for her to take.

 

[Zotohxan]

((Aah ;w; Well.. I'm glad it's at least going better! And good luck tomorrow.. Exams of any sort suck. x3))


The moment I heard Teag's voice my head shot up, and I just look at her with tears falling down my face. Her words don't really register in my mind, though.. All i care about is making her know how much I love her. "Teag..." I whimper, lunging forward and hugging her tightly, "I'm so sorry... I-I don't know what happened, I don't remember anything, but.. I used you... I know that, Teag, and I'm so sorry..." I shake my head, holding her a bit tighter, "Please don't hate me... I love you so much, I-I don't know what came over me... I never want to hurt you, love. Please, please forgive me.."


I was shamelessly begging, and I don't even care... Pride means nothing when i could've accidentally hurt the only person I've ever loved. I'd give up everything for her, and yet.. The first time I ever get drunk, I hurt her. I hurt her in one of the worst ways I ever could, and I can never forgive myself for that. "I love you so much..."

 

[Memster101]

(( Yeah xD Especially math ones >> I thought you would have been off to work already??))


I started slightly when she all but tackled me, clenching the pills in my fist so that they didn't spill everywhere. I wrapped my own arms around her though, smoothing her hair down with my free hand. "It's okay..I provoked you into doing it," I murmured gently in her ear, holding her tightly. "I could never hate you...I love you, so much, Mir." I kissed her shoulder gently, knowing that despite the pain I was feeling, I wouldn't have taken back what we had done. It had been worth it to see her face light up, even if it had been drunken ecstasy for most of it. She had always been so beautiful, especially with her head thrown back or her dazed satisfaction.


I leaned back after a few moments, cupping her cheek in my palm as I studied her face. "How are you feeling? Shitty, hm?" It was more of statement than a question, I could see the redness of her eyes and the way she squinted them against the light of the room. I held my palm out to her once more, offering the medicine. "It'll help with the headache..." I pushed one of my famous crooked smiles to my lips, though it was fairly tired from our midday excursion.

 

[Zotohxan]

((I agree 'w'


And yeah.. I had to wake up early to take my mom into work, but I didn't have to be in until 10:15 this morning.. I just wasn't sure if I'd be able to get in a wifi place between taking my Mom up and going in myself. ))


I nod slowly, leaning my head against Teag's shoulder. "Never do that again..." I whisper, "Never... Make yourself to be below me like that. Never put yourself in the position to be used, not even by me, Teag..." I beg this to her, though my pain and tiredness could be easily heard through my voice. I hesitantly reach out for the medicine, then look worriedly at my girlfriend. "Did you take some, too? I'm sure you can't be without a hangover... I've seen you drunk enough to know that."


I smile halfly, though I still feel like shit after doing that... I take in a few deep breaths, taking the medicine and swallowing it dry, not realizing Teag had a glass in there for me. I shudder at the taste and feeling, but say nothing against it. I don't really feel like I have the right to, to be honest...

 

[Memster101]

(( Ohhh. I've probably asked this, but where do you work?? Also, how was it??))


I nodded some at her request, wondering if there would be some way I could make it seem like she hadn't used me. Even if it meant feeling like trash the rest of the day, at least I was Mir's trash and in the end of the day, I knew she loved and respected me. Shaking the ideas from my head, I tried to pull my attention back to her. Another faint smile at her worry, I popped the lid back off of the bottle, shaking what vaguely felt like an okay amount into my mouth. I swallowed them dry, shuddering lightly at the feeling as they stuck for a moment in my throat.


"You know I had some water for you?" I mused softly, picking the water cup off from the floor and handing it to her. I knew it wasn't of much use now, but better late than never. After she took the cup from me, I leaned back onto my heels, a tired, but amused smile coming to my lips. "Do you want to see something funny?" I asked her, placing the cap back onto the bottle before I spilled the pills everywhere.

 

[Zotohxan]

((Fast food. Blah. x3 And it was normal.. It's difficult since I've got bad social anxiety, but I'm dealing.


How was your day??))


I chuckle softly, taking the water and swallowing down a few drinks. I didn't really like the way Teag took the pills... She knows I don't like that, but I've long since stopped trying to make her stop it. By now, I know she won't. I quirk a curious eyebrow at her when she mentions something funny. "What's that?" I ask, allowing the corner of my lip to pull upward. Honestly.. Right now, I just want to feel a bit less shitty. And I want Teag to feel less shitty, too. I know what we did- what I did hurt her.. Whether she's willing to admit it or not.


I would do anything to take it back... But right now, I figure it's not the time to be thinking about that. For the rest of tonight I'm going to show Teag just how much I love her, and how much I respect her. I want her to know just how I feel about her, and I'm going to do absolutely everything in my power to make her know it. No matter what I've got to do...

 

[Memster101]

(( Ahh, join the club xD Mickey D's life! And aw >< I'm sorry. I can sort of relate. And mine wasn't too super. My depression kind of got to me real bad >< But shit happens ))


I pushed the corner of her lip up higher with one of my fingers, smiling slightly. I moved myself so I was sitting on the coffee table behind me, my knees starting to ache from being against the hard wood. After a moment or two of that lovely awkwardness I had about showing skin, I lifted my shirt up above my chest, blushing bright when I realized I had forgotten to put on a bra. I covered myself a little, but moved my fingers down some so she could see the swell of my breast. "You gave me a hicky over my heart that looks like a heart," I teased gently, trying to ignore the bright redness that was starting to seep down my neck and to the top of my chest.


I didn't leave my shirt up for too long though, not wanting her to catch more views of her handy work than I wanted to. Apparently I wasn't the only one who got eager when drunk. I secretly loved hickies. It was like you were claiming the other person as yours and I wore mine with pride. Running a hand through my hair, I leaned down some to kiss the corner of her mouth, frowning slightly at the lingering taste of alcohol. It wasn't something I was very comfortable with tasting on her.

 

[Zotohxan]

((Aah, my mortal enemy. I am Popeyes scum(but not for long because I put in my 2 week notice today. Ftw x3


Mehh, I'm sorry! D: Depression sucks... I hope tomorrow goes better ))


I blush deeply as Teag pulls up her shirt and I realize she's not wearing a bra. It's not like I mind... At all... In fact, I love the view, but.. I'm just a bit confused as to what she was doing. Though, when she points out the hickey and explains, I can't help but giggle softly. "Well, that's just because I love you so much." I say softly, not noticing the frown on her face as I lean in and kiss her lips longingly. I kind of wanted to tease her, but I'm also afraid that that would bring up bad memories for her.. I really don't want her to think I just wanted to use her...


I pull back from the kiss, putting my hand over Teag's heart. "I love you, Teag... And if I ever ask if I can get drunk again... I think you should probably tell me no." I chuckle softly, biting my bottom lip. Apparently when I'm drunk I'm rather... Rough. So, who knows.. Maybe one night, when all this is past us, Teag and I would get shitfaced together and just go at it... Yeah. I can definitely see that happening.

 

[Memster101]

(( I know, I'm going to try and tough it out until my gym membership is up/my credit card is paid off and then put my two weeks in. Just three or so more months :3 I can definitely see how working in fast food could trigger your anxiety! I know it does mine >< And I hope so too! I'm not sure though cause I have my math exam and school stresses me the fuuuuccck out. >< ))


My blush only deepened when I noticed her appraising gaze and I cleared my throat some, trying to get myself to calm down some. "Well I'm glad you love me," I mused, blinking as her hand rested slightly on my chest. A shy, but teasing smile rose to my lips and I cocked a brow. "And apparently other things of mine...Not that there's much to love." I moved off the coffee table and onto Mir, straddling her gently when she adjusted accordingly. I had always been small-chested and semi-self-conscious about it, but Mir didn't seem to mind at all and I always tried to crack jokes about it.


I sat back gently on her hips, hands resting on her waist as I stared affectionately down at her. She was so beautiful...Without my realization, a somewhat silly grin had appeared on my lips as I studied her features. "Fuck you're beautiful," I sighed, hand moving up to cup her cheek. "I could stare at you all day and still not have seen enough of you."

 

[Zotohxan]

((Aah, good luck! And I know it's probably not that tempting coming from a stranger on the internet, but if you wanna talk or rant about anything if you're having a bad day.. You can always PM me. ;w; ))


I bite my bottom lip, my hands moving to rest on Teag's hips as I blush deeply. "And you just took the words right out of my mouth." I admit, lowering my gaze to rake over her entire clothed body. I then look up again to meet her eyes, tilting my head to the side a bit. "I never want to take my eyes off you, honestly... You're the light in my life, Teag, and everything is just so dark without you."


Faintly, in the back of my mind, I start fearing that her parents may come home and see us like this..It's not exactly an innocent position, especially with the hickies I see along her neck, and the ones on the back of mine... I can only imagine what they'd think. And I kinda fear that they wouldn't let me stay the night, but.. I can't go back to my house tonight. I honestly wouldn't be able to handle seeing my parents and being yelled at...


((Sorry my replies are short and sparse.. I'm trying to talk one of my friends through something while also Rping x3))