Our Secrets ((GxG))

[Memster101]

((Oh hell yes xD Yay for random cookie making ^^ Also you're good!))


I laughed softly, moving my face to hide against her throat.t even more. Of course her comment only made me blush more, but I loved that fact "I love you with all my heart," I informed her once more. "My perfect match." I settled more against her, gently peppering her neck with affectionate kisses. I dropped my hands to gently rub her shoulders to sooth her. I yawned some before moving the nuzzle my face into the crook of her neck once more. "You smell good....I missed how you smelt. You smell like...home."


I smiled sheepishly up at her, brushing our cheeks together as we sat together. I pulled my lower lip into my mouth as I realized I probably needed to shower. At least my clothes were clean now, thus cutting whatever unsanitary things that may have been there. I started to nuzzle under her jaw, pausing when I felt the thin chain of the necklace I had given to her for Christmas. "You're still wearing it?" I leaned back, taking the small crystal in my hand to look at it.

 

[Zotohxan]

((But they smell like pure vanilla??? I followed the exact same recipe I always use, but they honestly smell overwhelmingly of vanilla... I'm so confused. ;w; ))


Teagan's words honestly send a shiver down my spine, and bring tears to my eyes. I can't explain how in love with this girl I am... And I feel the exact same way, I've just.. never really known how to word it. I giggle softly when she starts kissing my neck. I honestly thought that sort of affection would've freaked me out.. I was glad she hadn't noticed, but the man... He seemed to enjoy giving me hickies. There were three going down the back of my neck, four on my lower back, and two on my stomach. But he actually paid the most attention to my neck... I mean, I'm glad. I'm incredibly glad, I wouldn't want to shy away from my love, but.. It just surprises me is all.


When she notices that I'm wearing her gift and pulls it out, I instantly pull away from that horrid train of thought and smile brightly, nodding. "Of course... My beautiful girlfriend gave it to me, after all." I look down, noticing the ring still on the same finger I placed it, on the hand holding my necklace. It makes my smile widen a bit, and tears come to my eyes once more. I say nothing though, as I just pick up her hand with my own and bring it to my lips, kissing the ring then the back of Teagan's hand. "And you're still wearing the ring." I whisper against her skin, pulling back to look her in the eye.

 

[Memster101]

(( >> That's strange. Do you not like vanilla? xD ))


I smiled softly when she kissed the back of my hand. I brushed my pointer finger along her lips, tracing their familiar shape. "Of course. The only time I take it off is to shower. I can't even sleep without it on," I admitted, lacing our hands together after adjusting my own so I could do so. Over the week I had hoarded all of the things I had of Mir's, practically burying myself under them when I would lay on my bed or sit on my floor. Knowing my luck, I'd probably steal these clothes as well and whatever else she happened to leave at my house tonight. Glancing around the room I knew that the habit wasn't only on my end, easily spotting a few items of mine laying around her room. It was comforting to know that she had left them out and not hidden them.


I paused in my gazing at her to locate my phone with my free hand, checking the time. School would be starting soon and thankfully, my parents would be out of the house by now, so we could leave for it whenever we wanted. After a moment of contemplation, I sat up some to stretch, twisting my neck side to side until it popped. As I did this though, my eyes happened upon her neck. I froze mid-pop, feeling that hot flash of anger strike through my body as I stared at the dark purple bruises along her neck. My lips pressed into a slight line as my eyes dropped to her body, scanning her form as if I could see through her clothing, wondering where else those marks may reside. Places only my lips should have been felt.


Swallowing, I closed my eyes, bringing her hand to my chest to kiss her fingers. I knew her seeing that type of emotion from me, while not directed at her herself but the marks on her body, would only upset her again. I slid her palm over my mouth, pressing my lips into her skin as I once again tried to get a handle on my emotions. My tongue ran over my lower lip for a moment and I pretended to check the time once more, not wanting to meet her gaze. "Are you hungry? We should probably try and get something into that system of yours."

 

[Zotohxan]

((No, it's not that at all... But, they're chocolate chip cookies... There's 1 teaspoon of vanilla, yet... There's no chocolate smell.. It's literally only vanilla..))


I loved the next few moments... Just lightly touching one another, kissing and tracing lips.. It was like what we did after the first time we ever made love... We'd explored one another's bodies, learning the do's and don't's... And afterward, fingers just danced over skin, eyes gazed but didn't burn, lips pecked and trailed, but mostly smiled... The entire experience was the best I've ever had. I'd never before felt so close to someone, so connected, so in love and loved in return... It wasn't something I'd ever change for the world... And being reminded of that now... Again, it made me want to cry. Because it reminds me of how broken we both are, and how broken we were. How every movement, every sound, even the pains during... Everything was soft, and slowly but surely it pushed our broken pieces together, forming a whole by one another. It truly made us to be one, and was honestly the best night of my life. And being reminded of the pure love we felt, how there was no judgement, it's exactly what I need right now.


I watched Teagan move as she sat up and stretched, and it honestly felt as if I was watching the most beautiful scene unfold. The memories of that night still flowed through my mind, making my body warm with content. And that just made everything seem more peaceful. That is, until I see the way her eyes lock in on my neck, her lips set, and her eyes start trailing along my body. She'd seen... The one thing I wished would never happened now has, and I don't really know how she'll react to this...


But instead of reacting rashly and shouting as she had earlier, she just lifts my hand and kisses it, and I can tell she's trying to calm herself down. And for that, I'm eternally grateful... She uses me needing food as her subject change, and I don't mind it. I know how my Teag's anger can be, and I was perfectly fine with the subject change that'd help her to calm down. "Yeah.." I sit up as well, moving so that my body was right next to hers, our shoulders brushing as I put a small smile on my face. "Want to go to the little cafe down the street? I've still got some money saved up.. We can buy that big breakfast and split it like we've done before? Then head to your house after?" To be honest, I'm not sure how I feel about going out... For the past week it was straight to school, straight home with me. I didn't talk to anyone but teachers, not even my parents.. Not that they cared, really. But if it'd help calm my girl down, I'd deal with it.

 

[Memster101]

(( The Sam hell xD Do they taste good at least? I remember once my mom made these lavender cookies... *barf* >< They were nasty. I hate lavender xD ))


I allowed myself a few more collecting moments before meeting Mir's face, smiling faintly against her skin. "That sounds good, love," I agreed, though I wasn't the least bit hungry. I had hardly eaten anything since Monday, when she first started to ignore me, and after awhile the deep throbbing of hunger had eventually gone away. Back before I had met Mir, I had suffered heavily from eating disorders, literally a walking skeleton when her and I first started to date. While I was no where near as bad as I had been before, I still had moments where it was hard for me to choke anything down. Some days I honestly forgot to eat or even now if I felt like I had over indulged, would go for mile long runs. There had been a few times where I had ran too far and grown too tired to run back and had to call for Mir to come and get me. It was worse during the winter when generally speaking, I was smart enough to just try and exercise in my home, but occasionally I'd go for runs. Most of the time, I'd usually slip and fall on ice, or run until my joints felt frozen solid and once again, have to resort calling Mir. Aside from not eating though, I had thankfully not relapsed on any of my past bad habits.


"If you'd feel better about it, we can take the breakfast to go and eat at my house?" I offered after standing. Another stretch, this time standing on my toes and stretching my arms above my head, I listened to my spine crackle and sighed in relief. A momentary rush of light-headedness hit me and I wobbled some, setting a hand on the side table beside her bed for support until it cleared. I shook my head, pulling a reassuring expression to my face as I located my sneakers. They were still fairly wet from when I had jumped into the tub with Mir, but I knew that I wouldn't be in them long enough to bother me much, and ignored the unpleasant squelching between my toes.


"Do you need to grab anything before we head out?" It was a fairly stupid question in my mind since I knew that we could swap pajamas if need be. There was medicine at my house and whatever else she might have needed, but I just wanted to make sure before we left. With our luck, but the time we remembered her parents would be home and the moment she stepped back into the house, she would be bombarded with questions of where she had been, why she missed school, etc. I wanted to make sure to avoid that as long as possible, hoping to cause her the least distress.

 

[Zotohxan]

((They do not. 'w' I don't know what happened. They're all in the trash, now.


But seriously?! I've never even heard of lavender cookies... I seriously hope my Mom never gets that idea. ;w; ))


Again I watch Teag as she stretches, standing up along with her. When she starts to sway I quickly move to her side, wrapping my arms around her. I watch her cautiously as she goes over and puts her shoes on, wincing at the sound and once more feeling incredibly apologetic for having pulled her into the tub with me... I still can't believe I did that... It was stupid. Especially with how cold it is in my room, and outside. When she offers for us to just take the food to her house I immediately nod, smiling at how considerate she is being. I then shake my head when she asks if I need anything.


I walk to my girlfriend, entwining our fingers and once more looking up at her in concern. I know how she sometimes has relapses with her eating disorder.. never anything full blown, thank goodness, but she still has the urges and tenancies sometimes. "Teag..." I start, my hand squeezing hers in support . "Have you.." i bite my bottom lip, dropping my gaze for a moment before raising it again to look into her eyes. "Have you been eating this past week?" Her sudden dizziness just moments ago was the first thing that tipped me off, but.. I can actually tell that she's a bit skinner than before, and her hair isn't as shiny as usual... It scares me, honestly. And makes me feel terrible... I seriously don't want to be the reason my girlfriend was starving herself, but I know I was.

 

[Memster101]

(( Awe D: How do you mess up chocolate chip cookies I wonder xD But yeah, it was like eating perfume D)


I let Mir hold me, leaning against her momentarily as another wave hit me, but took the opportunity to snuggle into her arms. I was glad it I had gotten to speak to Mir today, wondering how long it would be before I had one of my famous black outs. Fortunately enough for me, they had never been during anything too dangerous, like driving, but there had been numerous occasions where I had passed out in the hall or during P.E. during school. Of course the school administration knew what was going on, but like most people, they seemed not to care enough to pursue the matter other than bringing it up to my parents. It was complicated with them. They knew and cared, but they didn't know how to go about dealing with my problems so they chose to ignore them. Which had been, and currently, was fine by me.


I dropped my gaze as she questioned me, pushing a faint smile to my lips in an attempt to calm her. "Don't worry about it, love. I just want to take care of you right now,okay?" I cupped her cheek with my free hand, my thumb smoothing over her skin affectionately. I stood on my toes some to kiss her forehead before heading into the bathroom to grab my keys from the shorts I had been wearing when I came. Once located, I shoved them into my pocket and headed back into the hall to meet her there. "Get some shoes on so your toes don't freeze. I'm fairly attached to them, especially your dorky little pinkie toe," I tried to muse, leaning against the frame of her bedroom door way.

 

[Zotohxan]

((Honestly... I have no clue. I guess from being half asleep?


Awwh x3 I'm sorry about that!))


I find myself frowning when Teag basically sidesteps my question, but I don't say anything about it.. She obviously didn't want to talk about it, and I wouldn't force her. Though, I will make 100% sure that she eats while I'm with her. No way am i going to let my girlfriend fully relapse... I'd never be able to forgive myself. "Oh, right.." I mumble, embarrassed as I walk over and slip on some flats. I didn't really feel like dealing with laces at the moment.


I then walk back to Teagan, giving a small smile as I hold her hand again. "Then.. You ready?" I ask, squeezing her hand. I was just so happy to have her back with me... I honestly don't know what I'd have done if she didn't forgive me. To be completely honest... Three days after it happened, on Wednesday, I cut myself... It was only one, and.. It was only to see if it'd help. It didn't... It just hurt and bled, and didn't do anything good for me at all. I've still got a bandaid over it, just so no one would see. At school I wore jackets all day so no one would see it anyway, but.. Still. I glance down at the underside of my wrist, realizing that I hadn't put a bandaid on it after my shower... It was deep, but not long. Maybe a half an inch, but honestly, it could've done with stitches with how deep I did it...


Go big or go home was my mentality, I guess... I just hope Teag wouldn't see it.. I didn't want to worry her with that. So I quickly shove that hand into my pocket, swinging her clasped hands and smiling at her. "I really want some of their bacon.. And the pancakes, too."

 

[Memster101]

(( Awe ): Maybe nap some? And sorry my replies were a little slow. I was trying to clean the kitchen but it wasn't going too well >< ))


I smiled back at her at her comments, squeezing the hand she had taken and idly swinging it along with her. "That sounds pretty good. I'll make sure they put on extra for you," I promised, leaning forward to kiss her cheek. Now that we were all ready, I led her down the stairs and out the door, humming under my breath. It had been some time since I had gone inside this morning and the weather had managed to warm some. This, and the fact that I was wearing actual clothes suited for the weather, considerably cut the chill factor. Carefully making our way down the walk way, I groped for my car keys with my free hand, looking around the quite neighborhood before reaching my car.


Leading Mir over to the passenger side, I unlocked and opened the door for her, just affectionately gazing at her. "Ma'dam," I teased, bowing at the waist some. "Your chariot awaits." In the back of my mind I wondered how long our playful banter would continue. Obviously she would still be traumatized and I wasn't expecting her to going back to how she normal was. I just prayed I'd be able to keep the pain at bay for a decent while.

 

[Zotohxan]

((It's too late for that.. Already 5pm. Too much stuff to do to nap this late. x3 And you're good~))


I chuckle softly and shake my head in amusement, "Why, thank you, Ma'dam~" I tease back, going to curtsy but gasping in pain only about an inch into it and I quickly stand again. I give Teag an apologetic smile as I just move to sit in the car. "I'm sorry..." My voice is small, and I lower my head, incredibly embarrassed... I'd kinda forgotten about the pain in my thighs.. It really only hurts when I extend them too far, but.. Still. I should've been smarter. Now she'll be all worried about me when she doesn't really need to be. I feel like shit about that...


I just want to forget it... About the entire thing, I want to wake up in Teag's arms and find out that I actually stayed the night that night. I want to wake up and cry in her arms about the bad dream I had, but have everything actually be okay. I don't want this to be real... But it is, and I absolutely hate it...

 

[Memster101]

(( Aw >< Maybe get some coffee? ))


At first I was confused by her gasp of pain, wondering what she could have done to hurt her thighs. The first wave of realization hit me and then another wave of anger as I pictured the man between her legs and my hand momentarily gripped the door hard enough to turn my knuckles white. I eased my hand off the door and smiled sadly, helping her sit down. "Don't apologize," I said softly, brushing her hair back from her face. "You have nothing to apologize for..." Under any other circumstance I would have made a witty comment about giving her legs a reason to hurt when we got home, or something along those lines, but I knew this wasn't them time. "When we get home, I can get you some medicine and a heating pad, okay?" I leaned in to kiss her forehead, bringing her head to my chest to hear the calming beat of my heart. I stayed that way for a moment before closing the door softly then quickly moving to the driver's side.


I climbed into the car, sliding the key into the ignition. I blushed sheepishly as a wall of music hit us and quickly turned the volume down, rubbing my ear at my shoulder some. "Sorry about that..." I adjusted the heat once more, putting it more onto her and waited for her to buckle in before pulling out of the drive way. One of the old quirks I still kept was my habit to not wear a seat belt. While I might not have been as depressed as I had been a few years ago, I was still a fairly risky person when it came to my own safety. I knew it was something that bothered Mir, but it wasn't something I ever made a conscious effort to do unless she reminded me.


I hummed along softly to the album that was playing, a string of songs from my favorite band, Twenty One Pilots, fingers idly drumming against the steering wheel according the the drums in the songs. Every so often I would glance over at Mir to see what she was doing, making sure she was okay, as I drove. The cafe was only ten or so minutes away and traffic was thankfully slim, thus allowing for a fairly relaxed drive.

 

[Zotohxan]

((We have none. o w o


Lol, I'll be fine. x3 I don't sleep much, so I'm often half asleep. ))


I hated how I made Teag react when she saw my wince of pain... I hated that I'd upset her so bad. Though, I must admit.. Hearing her heartbeat calmed me down and made me feel better, as it always does. When she gets in the car and starts it up I can't help the squeal of fear at the loud music- another thing that's apparently wrong with me, now... I've noticed over the past week, loud noises freak me out... I guess because he had music playing in his van? So.. No one heard me? That's the only reason I can think of...


But I calm down fast, enough so I realized a few minutes into the trip that Teag wasn't wearing her seatbelt... I give her a flat look, "Teag. Pull over, and put the seatbelt on. Now." She likes to tease me about how overprotective I am... But I can't help it! She's my beautiful girlfriend, my whole world. If I lost her, I don't know what I'd do.. Especially if it's from something preventable, like wearing a seatbelt. And no amazing music in the universe would take my focus off of her safety. "And keep your eyes on the road." He chuckle softly, forcing myself to not show any of the fear or pain from the last few minutes.

 

[Memster101]

(( I feel you there xD I usually don't sleep well and am up by at least 5:40 most days cause of school and or work >< ))


I looked over at Mir with an exasperated expression, rolling my eyes in a good natured way. "There's hardly anyone on the road, Mir," I grumbled, sighing as I reached over and pulled the strap across myself. My nose scrunched up some as I adjusted to the unfamiliar feeling of the seat belt, taking a moment or two to attempt to adjust it before giving up. These things were always so uncomfortable and their sole purpose seemed to be to attempt to cut off your air way or dig into the skin of your neck. But if it made Mir feel even a little better, I'd comply. I grinned my crooked smile at her comment and glanced at her for a moment more. "Stop being so beautiful then," I mused, tapping her nose with a finger before dropping my hand to rest lightly on her lower thigh.


It wasn't too long before we came to the cafe and we drove around the parking lot for a moment until we found a parking stall. Throwing the car into park and killing the engine. I undid the cursed belt, turning some in my seat to look over at her. Even with how tired and sad she looked, she still took my breath away. I rested my cheek against the steering wheel, smiling softly as I just looked at her. "You ready to go get some food?" I asked, not really intending to leave the car despite suggesting so.

 

[Zotohxan]

((Aish, nooo! ;w;


That's where I'm lucky... I'm done with school(until college becomes an option *w*), and unless I've got to drive someone else to work early, my shifts don't start until around 10. Yet I still wake up by 7AM every day... Whether or not I get up is another story, though. xD ))


I smile at Teag, tucking my hair behind my ear and unbuckling the seatbelt. I know why she hates them... I do too, but still... I'd rather use something I hate than die. I then lean over, resting my cheek on the dashboard. "I dunno.. I'm kinda content just sitting here, looking at you." I grin slightly, scrunching up my nose in the process. I'm usually pretty sparse on any sort of teasing that has to do with looking at Teag or her appearance, because of her confidence issues... But it's been awhile, and it was true. I just said it in a more teasing way.


"My beautiful, lovely, gorgeous, adorable, perfect girlfriend." After each word I'd leaned forward a bit, and now our noses were touching. I glance down at her lips, smiling as my eyes go back to her eyes, then I tilt my head the last bit and kiss her. It's still slow, steady, and honestly, a bit careful... But that's the way she'd initiated it earlier, so I hoped she wouldn't mind. After a moment I close my eyes, lifting my hand do cup her cheek. I just wanted to feel her... In any way, there were fears running through my mind, and I wanted her to get rid of them, but I didn't want to worry her by voicing them... But this? Yeah... This did the trick.

 

[Memster101]

(( I'm in college now and I decided it was smart to take the bus/train because gas D: I live a little bit away from my campus too >< And I feel you there! I've always kind of been a morning person though. Very few occasions will cause me to sleep in past 6:30 xD ))


I smiled softly as she stares at me, the smile growing in a shy, sheepish manner as she continued to compliment me. I loved hearing her say things like that, even if I didn't believe them. My eyes widened in surprise when she kissed me but I gladly accepted the gesture, my own hand going to cup her opposing cheek. I kept the kiss soft, letting her leading the depth and intensity of it. Even before the attack I had always been very careful with respecting her boundaries, always asking if what we did was okay, even if it was something we had done a thousand times before. I knew that I was her first everything and thus treated her very delicately when things tended to get intimate, even still unless I was in a particularly eager mood.


While I had never been attacked, I knew what it was like to be pushed into something uncomfortable. With my unfortunate habits before Mir, I had been well, frankly, kind of a skank. I had flown through partners, countless drunken one night stands with people much older than me. Only to feel used, thrown away, and disgusted with myself afterwards. It had been a desperate attempt to feel something other than that numbing pain and devouring self loathing, but it only really made things worse. And given me a bad name in the process. People still often tried to hit me up, and occasionally I still went to parties, where things often got intense, but I was much more careful than I use to be.


After a small while of kissing, I drew back, once again just lightly letting my teeth graze her lip as I did so. "Maybe we should go get that food now?" I suggested, knowing myself well enough that if we continued much longer, it would be harder for me to reel myself back into control. I brushed my fingers through her hair, which had become messy during the kiss, and just studied her face for a moment, taking in the gentle flushed look of her cheeks, bright blue eyes, and the dark circles under her eyes. God she was beautiful....

 

[Zotohxan]

((Aha, fun... Fun public transit rides... Yaaayyy. ~No sarcasm what so ever, I dunno what you're talking about.~ Oh gosh do I understand that.. ;w)


When Teag pulls away from the kiss I can't stop the small whimper that escapes my lips.. I know it's probably pretty bad considering what I'd just been through, but... I kinda didn't want to stop. But I'm glad we did... I would have honestly just been using Teag to forget, to try and erase what the man did... And that's not fair to her. I know about her past reputation... I wouldn't use her like people used to, like they still tried to... I'm not like that, and I'd never make her think I am.


I giggle softly at her words, nodding. "Yeah.. Probably a good idea." I didn't really care about how I looked going in there.. Though we don't exactly live in the huge city, people don't always know one another.. But at the same time, people don't judge crazily based on appearance.. Especially the teens. With so many 'burnouts' and 'problem' children, the adults usually just take our appearances with a grain of salt. Lucky for us, I guess..?


I turn and push open the door, climbing out of the car and rushing over to Teag's side, opening up her door and waiting with a grin. "Ma'dame~" I tease as she'd done earlier, blushing slightly from the fact that I'm teasing her... She was usually the one to instigate something like that.

 

[Memster101]

(( For real! There's so many weird people on there >> Of course, what does that say about me xDD ))


I resisted the urge to groan when I heard her whimper. She knew how that antagonized me. I was glad though when she opened the door and I was smacked with a sobering chill breeze to cool the want inside of me. Curiously, I watched her venture from her side of the car to mine, and mirror the playful banter from before the trip here. I smiled in surprise and stepped out of the car, curtsying some. "Why thank you," I teased back, locking the door once she had closed it. The keys pocketed, I caught her hand in my own, swinging them lightly as we headed into the cafe.


We were greeted with the comforting warmth and various smells of coffee and breakfast food. The tantalizing smells awoke my dormant hunger and I blushed as it started to rumble. I slid my free arm over my stomach, trying to shush it. I didn't want her to worry about it, or to find some reason to prompt me to eat more than I would attempt to pick at. As I looked around though, a new feeling of suspicion and fierce protection rose in me. While I was protective of Mir, normally she would be the one to hold me close in public. I had a horrible case of social anxiety and while I was good at hiding them, often had panic attacks when crowds were too big and too close around me. Now I stepped beside her, drawing her into my side, trying to keep her from being too near to the people, especially the men. How strange was it to know that the very man that had hurt my Mir could possibly be one of these Joes', calmly sipping at their morning cup of coffee.


Forcing myself to forget my own panic, shoving my free hand into my pocket so I could clench it around my keys, relishing the calming effect the pain had on me. "The big breakfast, right?" I asked, head cocking to the side some as I glanced from her to the menu.

 

[Zotohxan]

((It says you'd fit in with myself and my friends rather perfectly... Normalcy isn't exactly in our philosophy. x3))


I nod at Teag's question, finding it a bit strange to have her holding me the way I normally do her... I mean, I like it... I really do, and I appreciate it, because I know why she's doing it... But it makes me feel a bit bad, because I know how bad her anxiety can get. I quickly move to wrap my arm around her waist as well, both of us just holding the other close, our stance practically just daring others to bother us. Though we're both afraid right now, I know that if anyone were to try and hurt either of us, we'd both end up kicking their ass... I'm majorly protective over Teag, and she's majorly protective over me... Though it seems to get on some people's nerves, it's good for us.. It means neither of us would ever leave the other to the wolves.


"We're halfing it, love." I inform Teag, my tone leaving no room for argument. Even though she'd skirted around my question earlier, I know she has barely eaten, if she has at all, in the past week... I know how she is, and I'd really upset her... So this morning, we'd half the big breakfast. It was what we used to always do, so it's what we'd do again.

 

[Memster101]

(( I like that ^^ So you and your friends are out of high school?))


I relaxed considerably when she drew me into her side as well, easing my iron vice grip that I had on the keys. I loved how protective we were of each other, both knowing how fragile the other one was. We often were overly sensitive with other people and their comments, which tended to annoy our friends, but we both appreciated it. A sigh escaped my lips at her insistence about splitting the meal, but didn't fight her on it, at least for the moment. When we got home, that was an entirely different matter. Once it was our turn for our order to be taken, we stepped forward, waiting for the cashier to be ready.


"Hi, what can I get you ladies today?" A middle-aged looking woman asked, pushing some stray hair from her weary face. I squeezed her close into my side before replying with our order.


"Just the big breakfast, please." The woman smiled and nodded, writing it down on a slip of paper to hand back to the grill.


"Alright, that'll be $6.75." I smiled some and nodded in turn, looking over at Mir for her to hand over the cash. Unfortunately, in my rush, I had failed to grab my wallet. Plus she had previously agreed to pay, knowing that I'd pay for the next time we went out.

 

[Zotohxan]

((Yepp~


Sorry, I had to go do a few things. *w*))


I smile slightly to the cashier, using my free hand to reach into my pocket and pull out my wallet that I'd grabbed just before leaving. I hand the cashier a 10 dollar bill and just have her put the change in their tip jar, then walk with Teag over to the waiting area. I held her a bit closer, wanting to be reassured she was there... Because... There were a lot of men out, today... I force a small smile up at my girlfriend, "Thank you.." I all but whisper, leaning up to kiss her cheek.


I honestly can't even say how much I appreciate Teag holding me the way she is... I wouldn't have asked her to, because I don't want to seem like a burden, but... It makes me feel safer. And while only me holding her does give me some reassurance, it's not really enough... Not for now, anyway.

 

[Memster101]

(( You're fine How long have you been out?))


I frowned as I noticed the anxious and tense air she was giving off, pushing my own anxieties away. I let her lead us into the area and backed her up so she was against the wall, pressing her gently there and snuggling against her. I hated having my back to the busy cafe, but I would have rather had her felt somewhat secure than felt that security myself. My arms wrapped around her waist and I rested our foreheads together, searching her eyes worriedly. "How are you holding up?" I whispered, chewing at my lip.


I was too busy searching her face to pay attention to the people behind me and all but shrieked when someone bumped into me. I bolted upright against Mir, nails momentarily digging into her sides. I pressed against her, hiding my face into her neck as I trembled uncontrollably. I hated that I couldn't focus on her, to apologize for accidentally hurting her. My teeth gritted as I tried to prevent from making any sounds of discomfort, forcing my fingers to ease against her skin and instead clutch tightly at the fabric of her jacket.

 

[Zotohxan]

((Just the end of last year.. How about you? o: ))


I was about to respond to Teag when she shrieks in fear and pushes hard against me. I wince when her nails and finger tips dig into me, but I don't make any sounds to show her. I didn't want her to feel even worse... I was going to move us anyway so that her back wasn't to the crowd, I know how much she hates that... But right now, all I do is lift my arms up to wrap around her, stroking my fingers through her hair gently. "It's alright..." I say softly ,just loud enough for only her to hear. I then turn us so that she is instead against the wall. I'm able to block out my fear, for the most part... At least, enough so that I can handle not being able to see who's behind me. Right now I just need to calm my Teag..


"I'm right here,Teag. No one else can even see you right now, okay?" I offer softly, still running my fingers through her hair, easing out the knots. "I love you, babe. I promise you're okay."

 

[Memster101]

((Nice! And I just graduated in June :3 ))


I let her move me, wishing I had the uhmpf to protest, but was doing good to not burst into tears. I pressed my ear against her throat, trying to listen to the soothing sounds of her breathing and heart beat, still trembling violently. Why did I have to be such a spazz? The last thing Mir needed was to be worrying about me when I could feel her discomfort radiating from her like an actual force. I listened to her words, trying to concentrate on them and their calming effects. "I'm sorry," I whispered,beyond angry with myself.


I swallowed and eased my death grip on her jacket, peaking up over her shoulder to see the progress of our order. I just wanted to get out of here now. To get Mir and myself into the quite and safety of my own home. It looked like it would still be a short while. I nudged us into a more secluded area, trying to create some compromise so that we could but be put at even a little ease. Once we were at a corner of the room, I settled for placing us both against either side so our backs weren't exposed, still tucking myself close against her.

 

[Zotohxan]

((Aha, wicked! Congratulations! ^-^))


I shake my head, taking several deep breaths in hopes of calming myself fully. When Teag moves us to a corner I give her a grateful smile, my arms still wrapped around her thin waist. "Thank you, Teag." I say softly, leaning forward to kiss the bridge of her nose. "You're always the smart one." I chuckle a bit and force myself to keep a slightly amused expression, though on the inside I was kicking myself for having been so stupid..


I mean, really.. How many commercials and internet videos have to be made, warning girls not to go anywhere at night alone? Not to stop when a van of all things stops next to you? Not to come when you're called to said van, just because they ask for directions? How stupid could I really have been? I don't think anymore than that... I feel like the dumbest person alive.. I can't even fully blame the man for what he did to me, since I gave him the opportunity... I might as well have just walked onto his van and stripped for him myself. I made everything else easy enough, anyway.


Until I notice several people looking at me, some in confusion, some in concern, I have no clue that I had tears running down my face.. But now, I feel them. I gasp slightly, quickly reaching up to wipe them away, averting my gaze from everyone, including Teag. "Sorry..." I all but whimper, "I just.. Got lost in thoughts, I guess.." I sniffle, closing my eyes tightly for a few moments before tilting my head back and blinking rapidly, willing the tears to leave.

 

[Memster101]

(( Yay baby college students xD But thanks :3 Technically speaking I graduated in January but yeah >> ))


I smiled faintly at her complement, smoothing my arms back around her waist. This was definitely better than the previous positions. I should have thought of it sooner. I had managed to get lost in staring at the fabric of Mir's clothing, waiting for our order number to be called, when I heard her gasp. I blinked and looked up, frowning softly when I saw that she had started to cry. I pulled her close, smoothing my hand against her hair. Lord, what a pair we were. "You're okay love.. Just try and think about something else okay? Think about the yummy food we're going to be getting," I murmured gently.


I continued to try and calm her, smoothing her hair and murmuring quietly in her ear, wishing they would call our order already. I wasn't embarrassed by Mir crying, I was just mad that people were staring at her, at us. It wasn't like I could yell at them for it. I relaxed greatly when I heard our number yelled out and led her over to the counter, grabbing the sack of food and quietly thanked the cashier, whom cast a worried glance at Mir. I tried to ignore it, quickly leading us out of the establishment and into my car.


Once we were both safely inside the vehicle, I turned the car on and pulled out of the parking lot, lacing my free hand into the hair. "What can I do to help?" I asked her softly as we made the short trip back to my house.