Our Secrets ((GxG))

[Zotohxan]

((Nah, my doctor won't prescribe me anything and nothing over the counter works..))


I felt myself growing that numb feeling again when Teag didn't give her opinion on much of anything, and didn't tell me how she felt. So instead of staying there and just putting myself in this position to feel horrid once more, I stand and shrug a bit. "You can if you want to.. But I understand if you don't." I lower my head then move off to her bedroom, just grabbing the first things I see to wear. It turned out to be a grey sweat shirt and black skinny jeans. Not exactly what I'd have preferred to wear, but I didn't really want to possibly get Teag mad by staying in her closet, or her room too long. So I quickly dress and throw the towel in the hamper, grab my phone from the bed, then walk out again. "I'm gonna go for a walk.. I've got my phone if you want to get ahold of me, and.. If not, then I'll just meet you at the school when we're supposed to meet Rosaline and Lori... If you want to go, anyway."


Knowing that whatever response she gave would probably only serve to break me down more, I don't wait for one and instead just head downstairs, and straight out the door. The moment the door closes behind me I feel the tears starting to make their way down my face, colder than usual thanks to the chilled winter air. "Dammit..." I mutter, wrapping my arms around myself as I realize I should've at least worn a jacket... But, oh well. Too late now.

 

[Memster101]

(( That's stupid >< I'm sorry! Have you tried a different doctor?))


I sighed when Mir got up and left, but made no move really to go after her, or get up period. It felt as if going after her would only make things worse. After a few minutes of trying to convince myself to stay on the stairs, I again disobeyed my wishes and slowly made my way into the bathroom to shower. I really did look like shit, worse than I had the past week, were observations I made when I passed by the mirror. Again, I wasn't sure how to feel when I saw the sickly pale look on my skin, the bones that were starting to show through it again. Chewing at my lip some, I turned the lights off, not wanting to see the mess I was starting to become again.


After a sketchy and interesting shower, I dressed myself in a large, black sweatshirt and a pair of baggy black, skinny jeans. Shoving a pair of high tops on, I tucked my wet hair away in a beanie and made my way down the stairs to go drive to the school. I did remember to grab a jacket for Mir though and threw it into the passenger seat when I got into the vehicle. I sent a text to Mir telling her I'd be waiting at the school for her before heading off, trying not to doze off as I drove. Eventually, I some how made it though, and was soon parked in the lot of the school, puffing away at a cigarette in the safety of my car.

 

[Zotohxan]

((It's the only one around who takes my insurance. ;w; And my Mom won't drive me any further. Which is understandable, it's about an hour to the next closest one, so ))


I got Teag's text but decide not to reply, and not to head over yet.. I still had about an hour before school let out and we were supposed to meet the officers, so I'd just go to the park or something and sit for awhile.. Maybe that'd help me clear this numbness out of my head? I mean... It's possible.


But by the time I got there I was just exhausted. My body still doesn't feel 100% and everything was difficult to do. So I just walked over to one of the benches and sat down, looking out over the little pond. That is, until someone familiar catches my eye. I turn and frown as I see Jess, scoffing as she's walking beside some guy. I know it's wrong of me to assume, especially something so crude, but... I can't help but wonder if she's taking that guy to go get high, or to sleep with him.


What I hadn't expected though, was for my heart to start racing in absolute terror. I didn't expect my body to break out into a sweat and for tears to build up in my eyes. I didn't expect my body to move as if on it's own, scrambling up and running away as fast as my trembling limbs could take me. In no way did I expect the man she was with to have the same eyes as the man who did that to me. To have the same wicked grin on his lips after something she'd said, something she'd laughed at.


As I run I vaguely notice my hand pulling the phone out of my pocket and hitting Teag's speed dial, needing her now... I don't care about what had happened before, right now... I just need her. "Please pick up..." I plead as I keep running, my body cursing me from the pain, my lungs screaming out in agony, but I don't care. I just need to get as far away from that man as possible. I need to get to safety, I need to get to my Teag... I just hope she's not so pissed at me she won't answer.

 

[Memster101]

((Ohh, yeah, that's understandable. Perks of living in the city/town type thing is there's a lot of stuff near by when you need it >> ))


I sighed when I hadn't heard anything from Mir for awhile and by the time she called, I'd already been there for about twenty minutes. I almost didn't pick up, fairly annoyed with her decision not the answer my text, but out of habit answered anyways.. "Hm?" I asked, reaching over to turn the music on my radio down some. I frowned some when I heard how hard Mir was breathing and had to resist the urge to get annoyed, assuming it was another panic attack. "Where are you at?"


While I waited for her answer, I searched around some in my car for one of her inhalers I kept there, knowing she'd probably need it by time I reached her. I sighed when I had hidden it in the glove box and took it out, setting it on the seat where the jacket was. Once this was done I took the car out of park and headed off the parking lot, turning onto the street in what I hoped was the right direction.

 

[Zotohxan]

((I live 30 minutes away from everything... It sucks. x'D))


"I-he..." I whimper through my breaths. Without a doubt I realize I'm having an asthma attack now, on top of a panic attack. "The park... He.. J-Jess.. It's..." I couldn't get out a full sentence, but I just hoped I wouldn't have to. After a moment my legs completely give out and I fall to the ground, my panic leading me to try and turn around mid-fall, causing my hip to slam against the concrete. I let out a scream of pain and fear, knowing that now I was on the ground, and he could appear at any time.


The phone had fallen from my hand and I didn't have the energy or mind to look for it, so I just curl up in the fetal position, trying to protect myself from everything as I tremble, sob, and try not to black out from the many attacks I was having at the moment. "Teagan!" I scream desperately, just wanting her with me.

 

[Memster101]

(( Ouch! I can walk to the nearest Walmart if I wanted to >> Or bike to my doctor >> I enjoy living close to things xD ))


Well...at least I had a relative location. From the distance of Mir's voice when she cried out I knew the phone was no where near her, so there was no point in trying to talk to her. So all I could do is flip the car around and head back towards the park. I'd be lying if I wasn't scared, she almost sounded like she was being attacked again. I didn't think the attacker would be stupid enough to try and grab her again during the daytime...but you never knew. It took me little time to get to the park considering how much I was speeding, and soon I was circling around the area, trying to spy Mir.


It wasn't long before I spotted her sprawled out on the ground, having one of her attacks. I pulled along side the side walk where she was and hopped out after grabbing the inhaler. "Mir, you've got to breath," I told her when I knelt down beside her, not trying to touch her. Knowing my luck she'd probably try and hit me. Warily, I reached out and pressed the inhaler into her hand, barely managing to doge the swipe she made at my arm with her nails. "Come on, you've got your inhaler now...you know how to use it."


After looking around, trying to spot anyone that might have set her off, I located her phone and ended the call, putting it safely in my pocket. "Just try and breath." I reached out, gently grabbing the hand that wasn't holding the inhaler, and set it over my chest so she could feel the rise and fall of it with my breaths after wrestling it over. "Just feel how how my chest is moving."

 

[Zotohxan]

((I wish I did x'D))


I start to feel myself calming a bit at the feeling of Teag's chest moving, and I manage to get my inhaler to my lips, stopping that attack soon enough as well. After about fifteen minutes I'm finally calmed down enough to speak. I look up at Teag, still trembling but not nearly as badly as before. "I'm sorry..." I whimper, "I-I saw him... T-Teag, I saw the man who..." My breathing started to pick up again so I stop talking. I move to curl up in Teagan's lap, my head resting on her shoulder as I hold her tight. "He was there... He was there, Teag..." I knew I may not be making sense, but I hope she could figure out why I'd called her... And I hoped she wasn't upset with me over being in her lap, I really hoped she wasn't...Because I knew that right now I desperately needed to hold her, and to be held.


((Aah, fricking braindead again. x.x I'm sorry ;-; ))

 

[Memster101]

(( I feel like it'd be really relaxing though to sort of be out in nature though? The only place I've been to like that is out at my grandmas- one of those towns where the nearest neighbor is like two miles away and there's no store or anything except for this mini town about ten or fifteen minutes away and all they have is a really skimpy generals store xD I live in Utah so we don't have a lot of 'lush green places' and out there is really deserty and gross >> and it's all good ))


I blinked some when Mir moved into my lap, but wrapped my arms around her all the same. "You saw him?" I asked, my eyes going wide to the street. "Are you sure? It could have just been someone who looks like him?" I pushed her back some so I could look at her face, chewing some at my lip. "We're going back there...You don't need to even get out of the car but I want to see what he looks like..." After eating so little and being sick, I didn't have much strength to pick her up and force her into the car...I just had to hope that I could convince her. "So we can get a picture of him for Lori and Rosaline. Even if it isn't him...we'll have at least an idea."

 

[Zotohxan]

((It's pretty much like that here, except we actually do have neighbours... It's weird... There's nothing the frick around, except about five or six houses total on my road. x'D))


"It was him... I'm positive.." I sob out, then climb off Teag's lap while trying not to put too much weight on my hip; I can't imagine how bruised it is right now... "J-Jess was with him, Teag... You need to call her.. H-He might do it to her too..." I don't know why my sudden thought was to save Jess from the same possible fate... I should hate her and wish upon her all the pain in the world, but I don't. I know she's not the only one at fault for one, and for two... Well, no one deserves to go through what I have. "Please... Right now, I... I saw them together... You n-need to get her away from him..."

 

[Memster101]

((Ohh, that's kind of boring then xD I live in a town home complex so there's like a million of people around and a bunch of little kids, ew e.e ))


My eyes widened some and I nodded, half dragging her into the car. I was already dialing her number by the time I got into the car and sped off towards the park. "Pick up, pick up...you whore," I muttered, gritting my teeth some when we sped through a red light. A few cars honked at us and I flipped them off absently, pinching my phone between my shoulder and head. I had no idea how I was going to convince her that Mir wasn't bluffing or what have you, but I just wanted to get her away from him. A sickening feeling in my stomach though told me that I already knew who she was with, and if so...she might already be in trouble, or try and do something about it herself.

 

[Zotohxan]

(( xD Very nice. I think there's like 3 kids on my whole road? And the youngest one is like 7 xD ))


I was still trembling in my seat as I cling desperately to the seatbelt around me. I've pretty much learned not to be frightened by Teag's driving, but the same can sadly not be said for everything else going on at the moment...


On the next to last ring Jess finally picks up her phone, laughing as she does. "What's up, ho?" She affectionately answers. Even though I can't hear anything on the other end, I know that by now Jess either picked up, or Teag was just frozen and not hanging up the dead-lined phone. "I-Is she okay..?" I ask through a shaky voice, trying to compose myself yet being completely unable to. Distantly I feel bitter once more as I realize how worried Teag was about Jess, and yet she seemed to hardly care about me... Then again, that may have just been the attack talking. I really hope so...

 

[Memster101]

(( Ew xD I'm not a fan of little kids if you can't tell >> They scare me xD ))


"Jess," I sighed in relief, glad she was okay for the moment. "I'm heading over to the park now. I need you to find some excuse to get away from whoever your with. Mir was in the park and she saw you with him...Jessica, he's the one who attacked her." I made a sharp turn into the parking lot of the park, barely missing an old couple who had just gotten to the other side of the walk. I waved my hand as an apology absently before skidding to a stop in one of the stalls. I shoved the car into park and killed the engine, handing Mir the keys.


I turned the mouth piece of my phone away from my mouth so I could talk to Mir, swallowing some. "I'm going to go find Jess. I want you to stay in here, okay? You lock the door when I get out and don't come out. If I'm not back in ten minutes, call Lori or Rosaline. Don't get out of the car, at all. If for some reason he comes out over her, I want you to get down in the foot space of your seat and stay small." Pinning the phone between my cheek and my shoulder again, I cupped Mir's face in my hands and brushed away at her tears. "You've got to be brave, okay? I know it's hard, but you've got to stay here with me. You can't have an attack, not until I get back in the car with Jess. Do you understand?" I pressed my lips together as I searched Mir's face, trying not to show how scared I was, trying to be brave for her, for Jess.

 

[Zotohxan]

((Haha, one of my friends is that way, too xD I like them... Sometimes. Othertimes they're just crazy annoying. >w>))


I nod slowly, taking in Teag's words and trying my hardest to stay calm. "Okay... I'll try..." I bite my bottom lip, "Just.. Get her away from him as fast as possible..." I then move to grip the seat belt again, my knuckles going white with how tight I'm holding it. All I want is to get out of here... To get as far away from that wretched man as possible. But it's important we get Jess away, too... No matter what she's done or how she's hurt me, she doesn't deserve what that man can do...


"Teagan? I'm with Micheal." She pauses for a moment before laughing, then seems to cover the mouth piece of the phone, "Hey, Teag needs my help with something real quick.. I guess her girlfriend is giving her issues. I'll see you back at home, okay?" A faint murmur of agreement is heard, though it's clear her brother isn't too happy with the idea. "See ya soon, bro~" She says then uncovers the mouth piece and starts walking away, if the crunching leaves sound is any indication. "So what exactly happened, Teag?" She asks, her footsteps starting to sound a bit faster, but not incredibly so. Before long she sounds like she's flat out running, "What the fuck.. Micheal did that?!" She whisper-yells, "Holy shit... I'm heading toward the North stalls, where are you?!"

 

[Memster101]

(( xD Yeah! Being an only child I'm really not good with little kids >> I usually start almost crying when I have to hold babies, especially when they start crying D: Dear lord ;o; ))


"I love you," I told Mir, pressing the key into one of her hands before giving her cheek a gentle kiss. Then I practically jumped out of the car, slamming the door shut, then was off running towards the north stalls. "I'm heading towards you, just go in the bathroom and lock yourself in the stall or get around someone, just get somewhere away from him-" I broke off coughing and felt my head go light, almost falling to my knees. I shook my head and pushed on, my breath coming out in harsh gasps.


"I don't know if he did it, but Mir seemed pretty dead set. I don't want to take the chance. I know he's a creep anyways." As I ran, I looked around for either of the siblings. I wasn't sure that if I saw Michael I wouldn't try and get in a few punches, but my main focus was Jess. "Are you there yet?"

 

[Zotohxan]

((I definitely understand.))


"Yeah, I'm here..." Jess says through her own heavy breaths, slamming the door of a stall behind her and locking it. "I'm in the first stall... No one else is in here, and I don't think Micheal followed me... I think he believed me; probably went back home." She sits up on the toilet's tank, her feet on either side of the seat. Not too long after she hears the main door to the bathroom open both in her ear, and over the phone, so she quickly gets down and rushes out of the stall. She closes the call and rushes up to Teagan, pulling her into a tight hug. "Holy shit... Holy fuck! Teagan, my brother raped Miranda?! I mean... I wouldn't normally put him above doing it, but..How would he even know her to do that!? I don't see him just attacking random girls..."

 

[Memster101]

(( I forgot, is your brother a lot younger than you?))


I fell back against the door when Jess hugged me,but held her back just as tight. "God, I was so scared he'd hurt you," I muttered against her shoulder, coughing softly. "I don't know, did you ever talk about Mir? He knew her name, Jess. The only other people who'd probably know her name are the guys from school and they're too big of pussies to do much of anything except harass her a little." After a moment or two I let her go, pulling her back out of the bathroom and towards the car where we'd parked. "Do you have a picture of him? We need to show it to Mir's officers....Even if it isn't him, it's someone who looks a helluva lot like him, and that'll help."

 

[Zotohxan]

((Aah, no xD 10 years older, actually.))


"I never talked about her... Not around him at least; only with you..." Jess takes in several deep breaths to try and calm herself. "And yeah, I've got a picture... A mug shot, but a picture none the less." She swallows hard then looks to the car, seeing me curled up against myself, still clutching the seat belt and looking around in absolute terror. "Are you sure she'll be okay with me in the car? I mean... I'm not exactly her favourite person, especially not right now..."


((FUuuuuuuck, braindead x.x I'm gonna head to bed pretty soon... I can't really think of anything to write and I'm tired as hell. x3))

 

[Memster101]

(( Oh yeah xD Forgot >> And awe, go try and get some shut eye! ))


I sighed and nodded some. "She was the one who told me that you were with him. I guess we can just drop you off at whatever hotel you're at...I'm not sure if you won't have to come to the station with us since you talked to him...." Briefly, I grabbed her shoulder as a coughing fit wracked me, grimacing as I covered my mouth. "I don't know...Just...don't try and touch or or mess with her, okay?" Rubbing some at my mouth, we finally reached my car and I motioned for Mir to unlock it. When she did, I got inside and started the vehicle back up then locked the doors once Jess was inside.


"I don't know what you want to do about this Mir...I guess we could drive down to the station right now," I murmured, resting my forehead on the wheel. My head was starting to pound angrily and I wanted to go sleep. "Either way, I definitely don't want you near him, Jess."

 

[Zotohxan]

((Haha, you're fine Hope you slept well~))


I didn't even realize as I'd let out a squeak of fear at Teag and Jess getting in the car, but after my girlfriend's question I just shake my head. There's no way she's up for going there again... "No, we... We can just go for meeting Rosaline and Lori, and.. Tell them or whatever.." I bite my bottom lip,trying to keep myself composed. ".....Jess?" She looks at me, an expression of sadness and strangely understanding on her face, "Yeah?"


"Who was that? Who... Were you with?"


I hear her take in a deep breath, "His name is Micheal... He's my brother."


And in that moment, I swear my heart just stopped.. Her brother? Jess' brother did that to me?! For a brief second I thought that maybe she really wanted me out of the way and just sent her brother after me... But then I remember the look she'd given me... You can't fake a look like that so easily. So that's when I turn around and look at her. Really look at her. And I realize that she looks like me... Just, her terror more hidden. "He did it to you too..." Rather than a question, it's a statement. I have no doubt...


She confirms by nodding, then lowering her head. And against all of what should be my better judgment, I unbuckle, get out of the car, and get in the back. I sit right beside Jess and wrap my arms around her, ignoring the tears that well up in my eyes and the panic response causing me to tremble, screaming 'GET AWAY! GET AWAY!' She seems shocked, but after a few moments I notice her turning to give Teag an absolutely disbelieving look, then wrapping her arms back around me. Of course she'd be shocked... They both know how much I dislike Jess for everything she's done to me; to Teag. To take me away from Teag... But as I've said before...


"No one deserves that." I whisper to her, closing my eyes tight and once more flashes of that night go through my mind, making me hug her tighter. Somehow, being beside someone who's been through the same thing, by the same person, makes me feel a bit comforted... Even if it is the same girl who's tried to break up my relationship since it began.

 

[Memster101]

((I slept okay And you??))


I nodded some to her reply, not feeling up to it to protest. Besides, we'd see the two women in less than an hour now. We'd probably have to wait the same time anyways to talk to them anyways if we drove over. When Mir started to talk to Jess, I blinked some and turned my head on the wheel to look at the two. My Mir shocked me even more when she got out of the car and got into the back with Jess and...hugged her. Hugged Jess. Never did I think I'd see the day when that would happen. I'd assumed the first physical contact I'd see initiated by Mir would have been hitting Jess.


When Jess turned her gaze to me I managed a slight smile and shrugged my shoulders some. Maybe this would be good for the both of them...Help them bond a little maybe. Absently I turned the engine on, wanting the warmth of the heater on my chilled body. I closed my eyes though and turned my face back down to the floor, letting the two girls have their moment.

 

[Zotohxan]

((Alright x3))


Slowly Jess starts to run her hand up and down my back, giving me a strangely soothing feeling. "You're right. No one does. I'm sorry you had to go through that..." Jess states softly. I hate that she's calming me down... That I'm hugging her rather than screaming and hating her. I really hate it... Who knows how the hands that're holding me right now touched my girlfriend last night...


I shudder at the thought and pull back, my head down. "Thank you." I clear my throat then look up at Teag, my brows pulled together in concern. "Get in the passenger seat..." I say, my voice scratchy from my screaming, the attacks, and my sobbing, but still firm. "You're not in any condition to drive, Teag.. I'll get it." I wasn't sure if she'd actually listen to me, hell... She may still be mad at me, and the only reason she'd talked to me or helped me earlier was because Jess was in danger. But not matter what I love her, and I'm not going to let her drive while she's in such an obviously bad place.

 

[Memster101]

(( That's good!))


I turned my face towards Mir some and rose a slight brow. "I'm not sure you're in much of a better condition," I replied, frowning some. Who's to says she wouldn't start having some sort of attack while she was driving? I'd rather drive, knowing I could more or less control myself. It wasn't that long of a drive anyways from here to the school anyways..and to be honest, Mir's driving had always scared me. She's not that bad of a driver, but I've had more practice in varied of conditions than she has...


Sitting up, I rubbed my eyes some and forced myself to be at least semi-alert. "I'd rather drive to be honest..." I murmured, shrugging some. It had nothing to do with the fact I was mad at her, I wasn't anymore, it was just the truth.

 

[Zotohxan]

((Haha, yep xD


So what've you been up to today? o: ))


Even though she didn't say it spitefully, I still took Teag's words as her being upset with me... She may not especially seem so, but... She doesn't usually deny me driving when she's so tired. I'm shocked still when Jess apparently notices my expression and puts an arm around my shoulder, "Hey, she's just looking out for all of us, okay? She knows you're still upset and doesn't want anything to set you off while you're driving." She gives me a supportive smile and I just want to smack it off her face... I don't want her to be explaining things that Teag does to me. She doesn't deserve to... I'm Teag's girlfriend, so I should be the one to understand what she means and when she means it.


But of course, yet again, Jess wins in the Teag department... And no matter how much I hate her and the fact that my own insecurities are getting in the way of me seeing what my girlfriend might actually mean, I can't deny that she's still helping to calm me down. So much so that I find myself leaning against her, my head on her shoulder as I just stare blankly out the window. I feel her stiffen, probably from shock once again, but then she relaxes.

 

[Memster101]

((Uhmm, not a whole lot >> Went to my welding class, ran a few errands with my dad You??))


I blinked when I saw Jess pull Mir close and felt a slight annoyance ping in me. While the opposite was true for Mir, I knew that Jess didn't mean anything by the actions...It still annoyed me some though. I tried to focus on the fact she was helping Mir, brushing aside the emotion. Everyone now settled in, I pulled out of the parking lot and headed off to the school's lot. The drive was slower than my usual pace, but not much different aside from that. A sigh escaped me as we drove in silence with me glancing every few minutes in the rear-view mirror to spy on Jess and Mir.


Eventually we made it though and I pulled to a stop away from the crowd of students. Killing the engine, I resumed my position of my head against the wheel, wondering when Lori or Rosaline was going to text or call to confirm our meeting point/the time of it. "I really don't want you near him, Jess. I know you think you can handle him but what if something sets him off and he really puts his mind to hurting you?" I shook my head some, tangling my fingers into my hair some to try and provide some pressure against my skull that way.

 

[Zotohxan]

((Very nice x3


Just been sitting here writing all day, mostly. ;w; Well, trying to.. I don't know what to write ;-; ))


Jess lets out a deep sigh and nods, "I know..." She pulls me a bit closer, making me fidget a bit uncomfortably, but I don't try to pull away. Her presence is still calming, just not exactly how close she's trying to make me. "I went back this morning to get change, and he apologized.. Apparently he'd had a girlfriend, and she just broke up with him. He got upset, got high, then, well.. You know the rest." She shrugs, "But he promised it wouldn't happen again." I stiffen, and she notices. "I'm sorry..." She whispers, her eyes holding pain as she so much as looks at me. I let out a sigh of my own and shake my head, "It's not your fault..."


"But still." She says, her voice firm. I just shake my head, and rest it again against her shoulder. Even if I don't like how she brought my body closer the way she did, she's still warm... And that's what I need right now. I notice as she just stares at me for a moment before looking up at Teag again. "So, I'll just show his picture to the police women that come?" Now she's the one who fidgets uncomfortably, and I chuckle a bit. "You don't smell like anything, if that's what you're worried about... Plus, they're nice. They know about Teag smoking and they didn't say anything except they'll get her help to stop."