Our Secrets ((GxG))

[Zotohxan]

((Jesus! xD I think I'd be too lazy to do that... x3


Though one time I did go walking in the woods behind my house and ended up on the next street when I came down again... I'd been walking about three hours just randomly searching and resting in the woods xD ))


Jess shakes her head. "I mean, she's not entirely wrong.. I was kinda gonna be a bitch earlier, if you wouldn't have gone back in.. By the time we got to my house, we would've been having sex." Jess pulls up outside her house and cuts off the car, letting out a deep sigh. "I'm sorry.. That whole bit was pretty much my fault, but hell, Teag... I can't help that I've liked you for four years now, I can't help that I want to touch you.


But, also.. Don't be too mad at her. I've been in her shoes before, roughly, and... It's scary. Being raped is like the ultimate betrayal. So when she knows you're out with me, it just kinda stacks onto that feeling of betrayal because she knows how easy it is for me to have you do basically whatever I want. Not to sound cocky, but... You've gotta admit. Plus she probably feels inadequate since you came to me. I mean that obviously doesn't make her acting that way okay. She should talk to you instead of being passive, but she's not meaning to be a bitch...


Maybe you two should just sit and talk it out tomorrow? I really don't want to see you crash and burn, Teagan..." She reaches forward and cups Teagan's cheek softly, tilting her head to the side with a frown. "I just want you to be happy. And if Miranda does that, I'll do whatever I can to help you fix things with her."

 

[Memster101]

(( Yeah ^^* I'm weird like that. Back when I was really in shape and good at running I ran to the library and back and that was like six miles >> I did it in less than an hour too! I tried to do this army training fitness club thing in high school and back then my mile was just less than eight minutes :3 I need to get back to that!


I'm jealous though about the forest thing! I'd love to do that. It sounds so relaxing ^^))


I blinked, but in all honesty, wasn't that surprised to hear Jess' plans. It was how things usually went down with us...but in all honesty, I always never thought it would. I was still naive about her general intentions and had always thought there was a way to be just friends with Jess. What she said did make sense though, and I knew that was exactly how Mir was thinking...I was just too mad and upset to consider it. A slight frown touched my lips when she cupped my face, almost sure she'd try and kiss me, but to my surprise...she offered to help Mir and I...


"If Mir ever heard you say that..." I managed to say, giving a watery chuckle. Either she'd think I was lying or it was some ploy on Jess' behalf to get closer to me. Even if it was directed to make me happy and not Mir...it was still a touching gesture. I smoothed Jess' hair back from her face, a sad, broken smile coming to my lips as I cried. "I don't know what I'd do without you...You've kept me from doing so many stupid things, saved my ass, taken care of me..." I shook my head some, smoothing my hands down to her shoulders.


"Even when I treat you like shit...You've always been there for me." I sniffled some, rubbing my eyes against my shoulder.

 

[Zotohxan]

((That's amazing *-* I wish I was in shape enough, and had the motivation to do that. x3


And it really is. ;w; ))


Jess smiles sadly and just pulls Teagan in to her arms, hugging her tight. "I'll always be here for you, stupid. That's kinda what it means to have an unrequited love with someone. You just stay with them and do what you can to make them happy, hoping that someday they could return your feelings." She lets out a sigh, squeezing Teagan one last time, "It just means a lot that you're still here with me after all the shit I trick you into doing.. How I hurt your girlfriend with it and everything."


She never really meant to hurt me with the things she did, she only wanted to annoy me. To make me say 'enough's enough!' and break up with Teag so she could have her. But that never happened, much to Jess' dismay. But she still tries, hoping like she said, that one day, Teag could return her feelings and fall out of love with me, and into it with Jess.

 

[Memster101]

((I'm far from that now but yeah, I want to get that fit again ^^ What have you been up to today?))


I felt a sad smile breach my own lips, hugging Jess' back tightly as I tried to calm my quiet tears. "Well we can always start over," I murmured softly, kissing her cheek. After a few moments I pulled back, using the hem of my shirt to rub my face dry. "Let's go inside, shall we?" We hoped out of the car into the cool air and I shied close to Jess' side, shivering. Now that I thought about it with a slightly more rational mind, I was glad we hadn't gone and tried to swim. If it had been a few months earlier or later, I'm sure I could have convinced her, but oh well I supposed.


We headed up the stairs of her apartment building, listening to the sounds of the few nightowls that were still up. This was still the sketchier side of town, but one of the nicer apartment buildings it had to offer. Thanks to Jess' side job, she could afford it. I wondered vaguely what side of town the officers lived on, figuring it was probably closer to downtown than this. I'd hope for Mir's sake it was.

 

[Zotohxan]

((I'm sure you can! ^-^ So long as you believe~~~


And I just mowed my whole lawn, then took an ice cold shower that the water still felt hot against my skin ;w; I hate mowing this yard x3


How about you?))


"Well," Jess says once she shuts and locks the door, "since we're obviously not having sex tonight, what do you wanna do?" She walks over and flops down on the couch, but not before glancing wearily down the hallway and scoffing at the light on under one of the doors; Micheal's bedroom door.


((Holy hell I'm brain dead.. I am so sorry ;-; ))

 

[Memster101]

(( Oh lord xD And nice productivity! I love mowing lawns x3 All I did was go to math, do some dishes and laundry, and nap >> ))


I glanced over to where Jess was looking and narrowed my eyes some, being able to guess who was behind that door. "Hey, forget about him. If he has any qualms with what you're doing or with who you're doing it with, he can leave. He's a guest here," I reminded her, standing in front of her. A slight smile came to my lips and teasingly I straddled her lap, tickling at her sides some. I missed her laughter and hated to see how down she was.


As much as I was trying to avoid thinking of her, my mind wandered back to Mir, hoping she was doing somewhat alright...Maybe she had cried herself to sleep already? An awful thing to wish for, but better than having her cry her way through the night.


((You're good, I kind am too >>))

 

[Zotohxan]

((Thanks x3 I hate it... It's just.. No. Too many hills to make it enjoyable.


And good productivity to you too! ;w; Did your bus pass work today? o: ))


When Teagan first straddled Jess's lap her eyes had gone wide and her heart started to beat, wondering if she was about to do what the older had been dreaming of all day. But then she was tickled, and her face scrunches up with her laughter, "Stop it!" She shouts through the laughs, her hands working to try and pull Teagan's off of her sides. "You bitch!" She then reaches forward when prying the other's hands off didn't seem to work, and starts tickling her right back.


Jess couldn't really understand why Teagan had tickled her in the first place... She wasn't aware they were really on 'playing' terms, especially after what she'd admitted in the car. In all honesty, after admitting she was going to try and trick Teagan into sex again, she figured the younger would have just been her stubborn self and started trying to walk back home... Would've been pissed.. But.. She wasn't?

 

[Memster101]

((Ohh, yeah. That's kind of sucky >< My grandpa's yard is pretty flat but there's like...four or five trees you have to try and maneuver around ><Thanks :3 I'm just kind of taking it slow cause I got like no sleep and math class was rotten >< I didn't get it to work but I did fix it! There's a grace period that I usually have to wait so I'm not sure if that will start now and I'll have to just pay to use to the bus or if it's good already >>.))


Laughter broke out of me as Jess returned the assault and I dropped my hands, trying to push hers away, my worries of Mir fleeting for the moment. Jess was right, normally I would have been angry with her and tried to leave, but tonight..I couldn't be alone. I was at least recovered enough to know when I was going to endanger myself- relapse, let's be honest-, and to want to at least try and avoid it. Thus, I stayed, and hopefully worked on keeping myself safe and maybe even helping Jess learn to be just friends around me.


"You whore!" I teasingly shouted between my laughter and tried to scramble off of her. Could Mir and I ever get like this again? Just playing around, not having to worry about when the next panic attack would come, the next trip to the hospital? Could we ever be normal again?

 

[Zotohxan]

((Ew trees *w* Aah, I'm sorry ;-; I hope the rest of your day can go well, then. Oh? O.o I didn't know buses had grace periods like that x'D))


Jess gasps at the 'insult', throwing her hand over her chest and giving Teagan the opportunity to scramble off and get away. But the moment the younger gets off her lap, Jess is playfully lunging forward and catching her around the waist, pulling her back and tickling her mercilessly again. "Mwahaha! No one tickles me and just gets away with it, you slut!"


A door is heard opening and shutting, but Jess pays not mind, assuming it's one of the other residents. However, when she starts hearing masculine laughter, she stops abruptly and looks up at her brother who's standing in the doorway; brown hair unkempt as if he'd just woken up, bags under his golden eyes, skin tanned yet still looking almost sickly. Despite all that though, he still looked eerily threatening. The muscles bulging from his lack of shirt doesn't help that. "Well, Jessy. Why didn't you tell me we were having guests?" He quirks an eyebrow, smirking. "I would've dressed less for her."


"Just go back to your room, Micheal.." She says, turning her head from her brother. "No one wants you out here. And keep your eyes off my damn friends."

 

[Memster101]

((Stinking nature! xD And it's all good, I just need to start going to a tutor or something >> And yeah. It's like you have to wait three days for it to actually activate or something, it's weird. Oh! How's your headache ))


I squealed as Jess pulled me back to her, squirming around in her lap in desperation to get away. My laughter died though along with the tickling at the sound of Michael's voice and I turned some to look at him. My lips pursed some in distaste at him as well as his lack of clothing, protectively wrapping an arm around Jess' shoulders. Even if he had never tried anything with me, I knew what he was capable of and I could feel fear start to bubble up inside of me. I didn't let it show though, knowing it'd give him too much satisfaction.


It took my breath away though how much the two siblings looked alike. If Michael had been healthier and a lot slimmer, they could have almost passed for each other. "Didn't you hear her?" I snapped some, narrowing my stormy eyes at him. "Scat. Go entertain yourself, asshole." With this I made a fairly crude pumping gesture with my hand, flaying my fingers out last second with a slight sneer on my face.

 

[Zotohxan]

((Eh, no shame in that. Had I been able, I definitely could've used a math tutor, too ;w; And that's understandable, but sucky at the same time. x'D And it's alright. Was better before I mowed, but then I had a tiny asthma attack since all my inhalers are expired and are therefore not working well, so it's gotten a bit worse since then.. But still manageable. x3))


Micheal just laughs and walks over, standing behind the couch and staring down at the girls. Jess abruptly moves Teagan off her lap to get on the floor, and just as she herself was about to get up Micheal reaches down and roughly grabs her chest, pulling her back against the couch and making her yelp out in pain. "Awh, sis. You grew? Didn't I tell you never to change?"


Tears were starting to fill in Jess' eyes but she quickly blinks them back and glares up at her brother, "You sick fuck!" She screams, grabbing his wrists tight and twisting them, making him wince. She then pulls his arms straight until his elbows lock, then uses all her might to push them back, making him gasp in pain and fall to the floor. She then gets up and walks around to him, stomping her boot-clad foot as hard as she could onto his manly bits, making his eyes practically pop out of his head as his hands reach down to cup himself, turning onto his side as his mouth stays open in a silent scream.


Jess sneers down at him and kicks him in the chest, "I told you to get back to your fucking room. Stay away from me, you dick wad." She then walks back around to Teagan, tears now obviously in her eyes and a few falling as she grabs her friend's wrist and wordlessly pulls her out of the apartment, down the stairs, and back to the car.

 

[Memster101]

(( Awe I'm sorry! Do you get new ones soon?))


My eyes went wide at Michael's advances and would have made a move to hit the older sibling, but before I could do anything Jess was plumping him. Again, before I really knew what was happening, Jess had grabbed my wrist and yanked me out of the apartment. I struggled not to fall as we practically ran down the stairs, grimacing as the bones in my wrist ground together. When we got to the bottom I finally tripped, stumbling for a moment before falling to my knees on the icy asphalt. I hissed some but quickly got to my feet, leading her to her car.


"You can't stay there," I told Jess, taking the keys from her. "Or he can't. Either way one of you has to go or I'm taking care of it. And I don't care about him like you do." I got into the driver's seat, not bothering to adjust it and pulled myself close to the wheel. Once Jess was in, I sped out of the parking lot, heading up towards the canyons. "He's such a fucking pig!" My hand slammed against the steering wheel and I shook my head. "Fucking cock sucker!" I forced myself to calm down some,smoothing my hands against the wheel.


"How are you holding up?" Blinding I reached for the baggy of joints, easily lighting it; then started it. I gave it over to Jess, sighing some as I slowed my speed to the speed limit.

 

[Zotohxan]

((No clue.. My Mom was supposed to get a hold of the doctor to get me a new prescription for one, but that was nearly a week ago and he never got back to us. x.x))


Through Teagan's entire rant Jess stayed quiet and still, just trying to calm herself. After he'd apologized... They had a dinner together, sat on the couch together and watched a movie, laughed together. They were siblings again, something she'd missed so badly... So why today? Why'd he suddenly decided to act that way again?


When she was handed the joint, Jess finally snaps herself out of it to just grin over at her friend, "I'm fine. He won't be messing with me for awhile, Teag. No need to worry." Shaking hands and a far deeper than normal drag on the join betrayed her words, though she still kept the smile on her face. In her 'line of business', you don't get through a week without someone grouping you or making some sort of disgusting advance. She's gotten used to acting cool through it... Even if she was breaking inside.


"Why're we heading up here?" She asks, taking another puff before handing it over to Teagan again, looking out her window, though her mind was clearly someplace else.

 

[Memster101]

((Oh no >< She should probably call again >> ))


I glanced over at her, frowning. We knew each other far to well for her to pull a front on me. I let it drop though, knowing if she wanted to talk about it, she would. There was no use pestering someone if they didn't want to talk, it only upset them more. We drove in silence for a few minutes, before she asked her question, and puffed gently on it. "Can't go back to my place, can't stay at yours," I murmured, shrugging some. "And it's quiet. No one should be up there." Another drag later, I passed it over to Jess, letting our silence gather again.


Both of us were lost in thought seemingly, mine turning once again to Mir. If I was higher and less concerned with tomorrow, I would have thought about letting Jess do what she had admitted to, hoping it'd make her feel better. With my free hand, I gently rubbed at the back of her neck, wanting to help her relax some how but not sure how.


After about ten or so minutes I pulled off onto a dirt park way and killed the engine. I kicked the seat back, leaning in it and brought my feet to the steering wheel. From here we could see the lights of the city, all the other towns, for miles out. It was beautiful and one of my favorite places to go if I needed space.

 

[Zotohxan]

((Yeah.. We'll see. x3))


Jess climbs over, having not worn her seat belt, and straddles Teagan. "I'm not going to do anything... I just want to cuddle." She says softly, her voice thick with emotion she didn't really want to get into. So she just lays her head against the younger girl's shoulder, wraps her arms around her waist, and closes her eyes. "I thought he'd changed." Is all she says before a loud yawn falls from her lips.


"Just for a little while, I want to hold you... To pretend like what I want is real. Can I do that? Just.. To be happy for a few minutes? Then you can drop me off at a hotel and head back home... I just need this right now..." Jess had never been one to sound so desperate for something. But then again, Teagan had never seen her after one of her brother's antics. After his visits sure, but... He hadn't done something so blatant to her in years.

 

[Memster101]

(( >> I'm so tired D: It's annoying!))


I stiffened in surprise when she climbed over, thinking exactly what she had voiced, and the relaxing some once she had voiced her actual intentions. My arms did wrap around Jess though and I nuzzled my face against her short hair, fingers tangling against the back. At least I could help her this way...It wasn't much, I knew that, and I wished I could do more. Not that I wanted to cheat on Mir, but I was horribly conflicted with wanting to make Jess feel better and my moral obligations to my girlfriend, even if we were in a rough patch.


After a moment I found Jess' hand and brought it up under my shirt, letting it rest on my chest. I felt my face heat up at the fact that I no longer had a bra on and it was very cold. Gently I pulled her closer, kissing the top of her head. "If I could help...I would- Fuck your hand is cold." I shivered and held her closer, pinching the end of the joint off so it was no longer burning.

 

[Zotohxan]

((Aah, same here ;-; I'll probably end up going to bed early tonight.. As should you, especially if you've got class tomorrow. ;w; ))


Jess can't help but chuckle slightly, then tilt her head to kiss Teagan's cheek. "You're so fuckin' cute, ya know?" She smiles, her fingers making small patterns along Teagan's bare skin, "I kinda wish you would've broken up with her tonight... Or that she would've been a huge fucking bitch who deserves payback. Because I really want to have sex with you right now."


She lets out a deep sigh, not even embarrassed for what she'd just admitted. She snuggles a little closer to the younger girl, her other hand coming up her shirt and resting on Teagan's stomach, "Your skin is so soft... And you mean so much to me... Damn Miranda." her words were concluded with a short chuckle, but the slight bitterness in them couldn't be missed. After her brother's disgusting touch on her skin, Jess wants nothing more than to be with Teagan. It was always great for both of them, helped them both to forget about whatever was going on... And if she were just a bit higher, she wouldn't be able to stop herself.

 

[Memster101]

(( I might try and take some sleeping medicine, going to bed earlier doesn't seem to help too much. I've been having awful nightmares lately ))


I flushed some more and tilted my eyes up to the ceiling, trying to ignore how good her hands felt. "But she didn't," I sighed after a moment, smoothing my hands under her shirt to rub at her back. A familiar stirring, warm feeling in my stomach started and I swallowed, freeing one of my hands to put down the window slightly. The closest thing I'd get to a cold shower. "Even if she did...I don't think I could." When we did have sex, it was like some reset button- for both of us. It just made everything all better, for the moment.


"Why are you so good at this?" I asked after a few moments, a slight sweat had broken out on my skin from how...bothered I was. "It's really unfair. Whenever you do get a girl, I swear you two will never leave your bed." A breath chuckle left me and I shook my head some.

 

[Zotohxan]

((Aah, I'm sorry ;-; Try watching something funny before you to to bed, or listen to instrumental music while you're falling asleep or something? The music especially helps me..))


Jess chuckles softly and shakes her head, "You know I'll never get a girl. I'm a stripper and a drug dealer; not exactly anyone's dream combination." She didn't say it bitterly like one may imagine, more like she were merely stating a fact. Since she was. Before she started dealing for her brother, he made her a fake ID and got her a job at a strip club. By 15 she was one of the top-requested dancers there. And still she does it, as well as the dealing. She dropped out of high school that same year, her first year there. She just didn't have time to get an education, and fulfill all of her 'professional' requirements. It was really Micheal who made the decision for her...


But she's not bitter about it, surprisingly. It's just made her into who she is today; a tough girl who sleeps with random people, sells and does drugs whenever she wants, and strips naked for a bunch of strangers. Certainly not the most respected person in society, but she's got her friends.. "But I've got you, so I'm good. I don't necessarily need anyone else." Her fingers started adding a bit of pressure, not really meaning to. The truth was... Even though her own professions and how she got there didn't bother her, the fact that she wouldn't ever find someone to spend her life with did... It hurt, but she'd never admit that to anyone.

 

[Memster101]

((It's okay >< Nothing I'm not use to. Have you been sleeping okay??))


My back arched my chest into Jess' hand. "Some day you will...If you clean up your act some. Honestly, I know if you put your mind to it, you could get through school. Hell, you could pay someone to do your work for you." I let out another slightly breathy laugh, idly massaging at her back. "I could try and help you. Once Mir gets into the officers' house or something. When I know she won't be alone all the time." One of my hands trailed into her hair, tangling firmly and gently.


"You're gorgeous, brilliant, and amazing...any girl would be lucky to have you." My other hand started to drop down to her behind, sliding into her back pocket. I tried to convince myself that I was casual this way with a lot of people- it was the truth, but I knew it was different with Jess.

 

[Zotohxan]

((Well enough. I have a habit of waking up a million times a night, but that's nothing new ))


Jess hums her appreciation, but not of Teagan's words. She slowly tilts her head to place a few brief kisses along the younger girl's throat, "You need to keep your mind on your girlfriend. Don't worry about some dropout wannabe good girl." She nips lightly at the skin right under Teagan's ear, "You've both been through a lot. You should go back home and talk it out in the morning."


Even though Jess knows good and well what she's getting started, she doesn't want to stop... She wants to forget, and to help Teagan do the same. They've often used one another for sex, and she's got a feeling that she'll be able to tempt the younger girl again.. And if not, well... Maybe things truly are looking up for her relationship with Miranda. But if they go through with it... There's probably not that much hope. But far more for Teag to come to Jess. With that thought in mind, the older girl trails her tongue up Teagan's jaw and nips at her bottom lip.

 

[Memster101]

((I'm glad I'm not the only one >< And then I just stare aimlessly at the ceiling or hide under my blankets depending if I've had a nightmare or not Awww, Jess could grow as a person and keep Teagan from having sex with her >> ))


My nails bit brielfy into the material of Jess' jeans and tightened in her hair. I knew what she was doing and I was having trouble trying to find the strength to stop her, even as she spoke of Mir. I was worn down- from my interaction with Mir, these last two days, this last week, I didn't have the will to try and avoid what was happening. It was all too easy to fall back into old habits as I was finding out this week, and Jess was one I didn't mind relapsing into. No matter how much I loved Mir, with all my being I did, there was always that temptation to go back to how I use to be...with everything.


I pressed my lips to hers to silence her comments about Mir, wondering why she was trying to guilt me into not following through with this, however half-hearted it might be. Pushing back up against her, I tried to gain leverage and was idly aware that I had pushed her back enough to honk the horn. My hand in her pocket grabbed at Jess' behind and snuck my tongue between her lips, moaning softly against them.

 

[Zotohxan]

((I get it.. I used to have night terrors really bad, but hiding under the blanket just suffocated me ;w; But like I said, I've actually found that classical/instrumental music while I'm sleeping helps. -w-


And bwahaha, I'm planning something. >w>))


Jess sucks on Teagan's tongue then bites it gently, pulling back then releasing the younger's tongue and smiling seductively down at her. "You love Miranda... And she loves you." She leans down and sucks, nips, and licks at Teagan's neck. "You two are gonna work this out." One of her hands moves to squeeze Teagan's thigh, while the other caresses her face. "You are going to make love to her, and you'll both be happy again." She uses the hand caressing Teagan's face to pull her shirt collar down, then places a few kisses and nips to the skin there. "You're going to help each other through what's going on."


And after that, she pulls away rather abruptly, ignoring her own unbearable lust. She then pulls Teagan's hands off of her body and moves to sit in her seat, shifting around uncomfortably thanks to the stirring in her stomach. But she knows that strangely enough, Teagan is far more willing to listen to what she says if she's turning her on. And no matter how badly she wants the younger girl, Jess knows they're not meant to be together forever.. No matter how badly it hurts. "And that's why you're going to take me to the club so I can catch a few shifts and maybe take someone to the back room, then you're gonna go home, sleep next to Miranda, and you two are going to talk when you both wake up."

 

[Memster101]

(( Awe >< Yeah, I generally just kind of freak out for a little while, try and avoid sleep, and warily stare around my room if they aren't too bad. If they are though I keep hidden under the blankets. It's weird cause I haven't read or watched anything really scary, so I'm not sure what's causing them >> And maybe I'll give that a go! I generally don't like not being able to hear what's going on around me so that might be an issue >>


And good job xD ))


I felt frozen in the seat, resisting the urge to jump into the next seat after Jess and make her finish what she started. Breathing in deeply a few times, I managed to calm myself enough that I could focus mostly on driving. "You're a real bitch, you know?" It was an insult, but in the odd, affectionate manner we had towards each other. Thankfully the club wasn't too far from my house so I could walk home without much worry and Jess wouldn't be left without a way to a hotel. Pulling out of the little parked area, I pulled onto the street and started to head towards the club.


The want stirring around in my stomach was becoming more bearable as the drove went on, cold air blasting into the car to sober us, and I could feel the drain of the day starting to take hold again. Those thoughts turning phrases of "I'll see Mir in the morning," to "Maybe, if I can't find my stash of pills." They were thoughts I would no longer happily act on, but they were there all the same, always there. We drove in silence until we reached the club, where upon arrival I killed the engine once more and handed the keys back to the older girl.


"Go to a hotel for the next while, or kick Michael out, okay?" I told her, frowning some. "Call me if he starts giving you trouble again." I stepped out of the car and walked to the other side to give Jess a hug. "Have a safe night, earn big bucks, you know the drill."

 

[Zotohxan]

((Yeah.. Some people just have nightmares, I know I did really bad when I was younger. I'm sorry that you've got them so bad, now. ;-; They freaking suck /-\))


Jess couldn't help but laugh at Teagan's 'insult' then stays silent with her friend the rest of the ride. When they get to the club Jess was already rolling her eyes at the patrons stumbling out. Whether males with their intoxication and over-excitement, or girls with the same problems, it amused her either way. "Yeah, yeah. Yada, yada, ya. Get your tiny ass back home and talk it out with your girlfriend. If you need me, call or text. I'll probably only work a few hours then head over to some hotel; I don't see Micheal taking it kindly if I try kicking him out." She shrugs, then turns and walks into the club, a smile on her face.


Even though I had managed to cry myself to sleep, I also managed to wake myself up not even thirty minutes later with a horrible panic attack.. And unlike the last time when I was able to calm myself down, I ended up in the corner, my body curled up in fear and trembling. I ended up passing out there, the terror I felt being too much. So now that's where I am, leaned up against the side wall with my body indecently splayed from my frantic kicking of an invisible attacker. Tears are dried down my face and it seems to have a permanent flush, along with scratch marks around my wrists from trying to pry off my invisible attacker's hands.