Becboc
houseplant hoarder
So she couldn’t shake her head, but she could roll her eyes and that’s exactly what Essa did as Hayden went on to explain why he was here. Her note hadn’t intended to draw him back in, she had simply wanted to have the last word… hadn’t she? But before she could part her lips to tell him as much, that finger that he had infuriatingly pointed at her face was drawing close and her breath hitched as amber eyes followed it until the tip met her neck, just below her ear in that sensitive spot that ignited every other nerve ending in her body. It was like the bastard knew, like he knew what that would do to her.
Essa’s gaze flickered to the darkness of his as he drew the contact down the slope of her neck, as she struggled to hear the words he was growling at her simultaneously. Her body flooded with a heat she hadn’t felt since… well, since ever if she was being honest with herself and it was all she could do to ball her hands into fists at her sides to stop from lunging for the man who was now lilting his voice by the shell of her ear, to stop from crashing her lips against his despite how much her current condition probably wouldn’t allow for the things she wanted to do to him.
It was when he finally straightened that Essa was briefly cast back into the reality of her situation, how unwell she was, the bandages on her head, the slight swaying of her body. She blinked rapidly, trying to gather herself, trying not to replay those words over and over in her head, trying not to focus on the way that they made her feel.
“I’m fucking mad for you Essa. Do not deny me this.”
Gods, denying Hayden anything was the very last thing that she wanted to do. Her body yearned for him, craved him in a way that she hadn’t known was possible and yet… it was her mind that stopped her from acting on that instinct and the very real reminder of what this was, what he had told her it was only days ago.
“The gods are responsible for these feelings, remember?” The words were uttered quietly, softly, as though she didn’t truly believe them and her eyes finally lowered to the box of snacks that were now being thrust her way. It was as though being released from Hayden’s gaze had doused the fire within her; her shoulders sagged again and she felt… drained, unable to fight against what this was, what he wanted, what she wanted. And perhaps… perhaps a small part of her didn’t want to for the simple reason that him being here, being close to her? It made her feel safer than she had for as long as she could remember and as much as she hated that, right now, it was all that Essa truly needed.
Letting out a sigh of defeat, she finally reached out a hand to take a few nuts from the box with a muttered, “Fine,” as she dropped them into her mouth and turned away, not quite sure what to do with herself until she noted Hayden plopping down into the seat beside her bed. Despite the pain it caused in her temple, her brow furrowed slightly but then slowly, reluctantly, she began to move towards where she had prepared her bed only moments ago.
It didn’t take Essa long to clamber in, but as she sat there with the sheets pulled up to her shoulders, back propped against the pillows, she couldn’t stop her gaze from drifting to the man who sat beside her, pin straight in a seat that he somehow managed to make look uncomfortable. It was upon making this observation though, that Essa also noticed his paler features, the way his usually neat hair was mussed, the dark circles under his eyes. Sure, she had been through the wars today, but so had he. He had killed for her, sacrificed winning for her and now here he was; taking care of her again at the expense of himself.
Essa felt guilt roil through her stomach and a desperate need to change that, which is what caused her to say in the end, “Look, I’m never going to be able to sleep with you… sat there watching me like that. Put on one of those 90s films you love so much and… just come over here, would you? There’s plenty of space on here for two and I… I…” Her words faltered for a moment as flashes of images of them cradled together in the forest replayed through her mind.
“I’ll just… feel better, okay?” If you’re closer to me. “You need to rest too.”
Essa’s gaze flickered to the darkness of his as he drew the contact down the slope of her neck, as she struggled to hear the words he was growling at her simultaneously. Her body flooded with a heat she hadn’t felt since… well, since ever if she was being honest with herself and it was all she could do to ball her hands into fists at her sides to stop from lunging for the man who was now lilting his voice by the shell of her ear, to stop from crashing her lips against his despite how much her current condition probably wouldn’t allow for the things she wanted to do to him.
It was when he finally straightened that Essa was briefly cast back into the reality of her situation, how unwell she was, the bandages on her head, the slight swaying of her body. She blinked rapidly, trying to gather herself, trying not to replay those words over and over in her head, trying not to focus on the way that they made her feel.
“I’m fucking mad for you Essa. Do not deny me this.”
Gods, denying Hayden anything was the very last thing that she wanted to do. Her body yearned for him, craved him in a way that she hadn’t known was possible and yet… it was her mind that stopped her from acting on that instinct and the very real reminder of what this was, what he had told her it was only days ago.
“The gods are responsible for these feelings, remember?” The words were uttered quietly, softly, as though she didn’t truly believe them and her eyes finally lowered to the box of snacks that were now being thrust her way. It was as though being released from Hayden’s gaze had doused the fire within her; her shoulders sagged again and she felt… drained, unable to fight against what this was, what he wanted, what she wanted. And perhaps… perhaps a small part of her didn’t want to for the simple reason that him being here, being close to her? It made her feel safer than she had for as long as she could remember and as much as she hated that, right now, it was all that Essa truly needed.
Letting out a sigh of defeat, she finally reached out a hand to take a few nuts from the box with a muttered, “Fine,” as she dropped them into her mouth and turned away, not quite sure what to do with herself until she noted Hayden plopping down into the seat beside her bed. Despite the pain it caused in her temple, her brow furrowed slightly but then slowly, reluctantly, she began to move towards where she had prepared her bed only moments ago.
It didn’t take Essa long to clamber in, but as she sat there with the sheets pulled up to her shoulders, back propped against the pillows, she couldn’t stop her gaze from drifting to the man who sat beside her, pin straight in a seat that he somehow managed to make look uncomfortable. It was upon making this observation though, that Essa also noticed his paler features, the way his usually neat hair was mussed, the dark circles under his eyes. Sure, she had been through the wars today, but so had he. He had killed for her, sacrificed winning for her and now here he was; taking care of her again at the expense of himself.
Essa felt guilt roil through her stomach and a desperate need to change that, which is what caused her to say in the end, “Look, I’m never going to be able to sleep with you… sat there watching me like that. Put on one of those 90s films you love so much and… just come over here, would you? There’s plenty of space on here for two and I… I…” Her words faltered for a moment as flashes of images of them cradled together in the forest replayed through her mind.
“I’ll just… feel better, okay?” If you’re closer to me. “You need to rest too.”
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