Naruto: Contract for Outcasts OOC

SongBird said:
How about I just make this easier on all of us by increasing the number of samurai in the history, and, if you're absolutely insistent on it, I'll get rid of Hydrification technique?
This would be acceptable. If none of your Kunoichi sisters survived, than it would be wise to make the number larger than the number of ninja in the village.

Beta said:
Stop fighting, my friends.
Wiseman. Have a Snickers. You get nitpicky when you're hungry.


:3
I was hungry, but no one is fighting. I just dont like inconsistencies.
 
Wiseman said:
This would be acceptable. If none of your Kunoichi sisters survived, than it would be wise to make the number larger than the number of ninja in the village.
On that note. Suggestion for Songbird.


Maybe the initial Dozen were a distraction to make the Sakuragakure inhabitants let down their guard, then the main force came in and started murdering.
 
Beta said:
On that note. Suggestion for Songbird. Maybe the initial Dozen were a distraction to make the Sakuragakure inhabitants let down their guard, then the main force came in and started murdering.
Thank you for the suggestion, Beta. That tied things together quite nicely. Wiseman, the cs has been edited. :)
 
SongBird said:
Thank you for the suggestion, Beta. That tied things together quite nicely. Wiseman, the cs has been edited. :)
OK, you are accepted, hurry and post in the IC. Make sure you are acquainted with the rules, both general, post related, and post time related, if you want I can link you to where you can find the rules in question.
 
Hey everyone! I was able to access some drawings for Kurage, and Wiseman helped me get them on the net. Re-check Kurage's CS profile for the pic... or...


<p><a href="<fileStore.core_Attachment>/monthly_2013_04/57a8bd98b1e31_KurageGenzai.jpg.266919fd09ea7d19ccd1f4a678847759.jpg" class="ipsAttachLink ipsAttachLink_image"><img data-fileid="495" src="<fileStore.core_Attachment>/monthly_2013_04/57a8bd98b1e31_KurageGenzai.jpg.266919fd09ea7d19ccd1f4a678847759.jpg" class="ipsImage ipsImage_thumbnailed" alt=""></a></p>

 

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There are probably going to be questions and things to work on, I am aware, but this is what I have up to now =J Tell me what you guys think


Name: Asuna Kaguya


Gender: Female


Age: 23


Height: 5" 6'


Sexuality: Straight


Village of origin: Kirigakure


Former Clan/Bloodline: Kaguya


Former Position: Regular Jonnin


Chakra Nature: Wind, Water


Specialty: Taijutsu

Appearance:]








Personality: Asuna, born with the inherent brutality and mercilessness of the Kaguya clan. Bold, she doesn’t fear the battlefield. The battlefield is where she grew up. She has a taste for blood deep in her roots and doesn’t see the importance of a life. She doesn’t believe in gods or superior forces of such, she sees death everywhere and is comfortable with it. Her ability gave her an intrigue for bones themselves, whether hers or something else and might even use them for decoration. Around people, she seems to always think of the extremes and isn’t shy about her bloodlust. She may even come off hot-headed sometimes, but she tries to remain calm and quiet around people who she can’t trust to avoid running in more trouble than she has to.


History: Born in the barbaric Kaguya clan, Asuna had a natural detachment to the importance of life. No one in the clan knew of her inherent gift, simply because she herself didn't know. She never presented any signs until she reached 13. During those 13 years of childhood, she witnessed massacre after massacre; the barbaric clan enjoying the destruction of the small villages it came across. She was able to learn a rather unique way to fight, being much more brutal, gory and ungraceful than the usual fighter.


The Kaguya clan accepted her as one of their combatants at the age of 5. Asuna was able to throw needles with good accuracy for a 5 year old. The clan sometimes made her go into the center of the village with and bunch of senbon hidden all over her body. No one suspected the cute little lost girl to turn into a 'monster'. She would start the bloodbath, the screams of pain from the people as a signal for the assault to begin. She never looked away when killing, almost finding interest in it and never hesitated, whether it be child woman or man. When she ran out of needles, she would resort to anything else she could find just for the sake that her whole clan fought; the fight.


However, when her abilities first presented themselves, the clan started questioning themselves what to do. They knew her on the battlefield, fully aware of the merciless weapon they had formed. Nothing too impressive at first, she was able to heal in an hour’s time from her broken leg. The 13 year-old girl had fallen off a rooftop while trying to corner a villager who thought he was safe on the roof of his house. 2 months after that discovery, she deserted her clan to seek a new path; that of a shinobi. Asuna had heard of rumors of shinobi and the Kaguya didn’t have anything of her use anymore. She joined the village of Kirigakure to train as a shinobi, hiding her ability the best she could. That meant she avoided breaking any of her bones. With the help of her trained eye for precision, she learned techniques that would help her hit targets at long range more than close-range, even if she knew her talent was in taijutsu.


She practiced much and became genin at 15, chunnin at 18 and jonnin at 21. Her genin years involved much of learning and jutsus that would find relevant later on, such as the hiding in the mist jutsu. Asuna developed much of her abilities when she was a chunnin. Her years as a Kirigakure shinobi allowed her to learn body weaknesses, bone structure weaknesses and began to modify herself internally over time. The process was painful to her, requiring a lot of chakra and determination, but she eventually modified her bone structure to allow her to move better and cause less strain on herself. With hours of ‘meditation’ she had closed his rib cage where a knife wouldn’t be able to stab through and reach her lungs without hitting a plate of bone. She became used to the pain of molding her bones through her flesh and developed the capacity to harden her bones as hard as steel, to form senbon and kunais from her finger bones, push her bones in her forearms to stick out on the side and make it sharp (turning her arms into a blade, basically) and same for her legs. Asuna is also able to cause he forearm bones to grow forward and act as wrist blades, great for piercing and slashing. Asuna was hiding her kekkei gankai from others in Kirigakure, afraid that they would fear her as much as her clan did and she thought the ability something to be feared. For a while, she didn't practice her skill and therefore wasn't able to develop it. With the increase in missions from genin to chunnin, she found herself in more and more situation in which he bones broke and healed rapidly. The girl was able to hide it until she was a jonnin, as her healing sped up rapidly with more practice.


During missions, she was careless of her team mate's lives, often endangering everyone in battle. It wasn't until she was in jonnin that she returned alone from a mission, her team mates 'casualties'. With further inspection, she was killing her team mates during battle, mostly using them either as bait or meat shields. After a year, it was proven and was going to be prosecuted against. She fled before they had the chance to lay a finger on her and has been on the run since. The girl became a rumor once more, a beautiful traveler who masks a bloodthirsty monster. Since her running away from Kirigakure, she doesn’t stop herself from using her kekkei genkai when she needs to, sometimes passing time in meditation to form a weapon within her bones, though this takes time and much chakra to develop. She will not be able to form a long katana in battle, but she can manage a short sword within 10 minutes from her leg or forearm. Senbon and kunais can be made from pretty much anywhere as their size is simply pushed out of her present bones. Her plate-like ribcage is perfect for making a multitude of flat weapons and objects, including her own bone jewelery which she proudly wears.


Theme Song: Crawling - Linkin Park


=========================================


Equipped Weapons/Items: 50 Senbon, poisoned


10 kunai


5 Curved blade kunai


1 Fuma Shuriken


10 normal shuriken


Weapon pouch


15 food pills


Wristmounted senbon launcher on left arm


=========================================


Special Traits


Name of Kekkei Genkai: Shikotsumyaku (Dead Bone Pulse)


Type: Bloodline


Clan: Kaguya


Description: Manipulation of bone structure by infusing calcium with chakra, thus able to modify growth and properties of bones to their liking.


=========================================








Tsubaki No Mai


Yanagi No Mai (Demands a lot more chakra to make the 8 spikes than the single short sword)


Hiding In the Mist Jutsu


Hiding In Water Jutsu


Mizu Bunshin No Jutsu


Suiro No Jutsu










Name of Technique: Sakura No Mai


Type of Jutsu: Taijutsu


Rank:D


Range: Long


Nature Type:Wind


Handseals:None


Description: Asuna showers her enemies with senbon with rapid rotations while in the air. The technique gets it’s name to the likeness of cherry blossom petals in the wind. Her forearms and legs become covered in tiny bone spikes, which are the senbon launched during Sakura No Mai

Weakness:The lethality of senbons are limited, accuracy isn’t a focus. Quantity over quality, they can be blocked by wind or objects.
 
Sweet Revenge, Your character is fine, nearly acceptable save for two things. One, why did she hide her Kekkei Genkai? If anything, that is what got you into the village in the first place, since outsiders, particularly outsiders with the marks of the Kaguya clan (Two red dots above the eyes, all clan members have them tattooed on when they are very young, I assume your character has them as well) . This leads to my second question, why would they make you a missing nin just for having that Kekkei Genkai?


Think about it from the Kage's point of view, he or she has already, for some reason, let a an outsiders, a Kaguya no less, to become part of their shinobi forces, and then learns that she is about twice as deadly as he first thought she was. Seeing as she is already a ninja working for the village, wouldnt that be a good thing? Wouldnt he want to keep you, reward you, maybe even encourage you to settle down and form a clan of your own in the village, so that you could spread your Kekkei Genkai into the villages power base? Instead he would make you an enemy? You? A Jonin at the age 21, a rare user of a powerful Kekkei Gankai?


Explain these things to me, or make your "crime" more punishable. Slaughter some Shinobi, botch an important mission, betray information to the enemy (Possibly the Kaguya tribe during one of their raids), flex that brutality that has been bred into you.
 
Wiseman.... How would one as a master of seals find the jutsu for say the toad clan summon or the slug or snake or cat or tortoise
 
I understand how they work. But perhaps could my guy buy the scroll at a shop? or how would he have to go about getting to summon them
 
You sign a contract with the species... not buy a random scroll for some twatbag in a store.
 
so you would have to find them out in the world. 
it was shown that if a user attempts to summon an animal without first signing a contract, the user will be teleported to the home of the animal they have a natural affinity for.


NEVERMIND STUPID ME!
 
Correct.


Example: How Jiraiya summoned the toads and had Naruto sign a contract with them. Had he not summoned them to Naruto, Naruto would have had to actually find a representative of the Toad Tribe and sign a contract.
 
Beta said:
Kakashi was a Jounin at 13, Neji at 16... Just throwing that out there.
Both were prodigious students. Ibiki and Ebisu, as well as many other adult ninja shown in the show who are much older than 21 are shown to be only Tokubetsu Jonin(A lesser rank which means they are as good as Jonin in one area), and most of the ninja in all the villages are Chunin and never reach Jonin. This shows me all too clearly that Jonin is a high rank, achieved only by the best, and by those who are close to Naruto in the plot. Im holding you guys to the standards of the average ninja, not the Naruto main cast, as that would be unfair, most of you are already prodigious enough. Point being this, regardless of what age you become a Jonin, most never do, and you dont throw that kind of resources away.
 
At first, Asuna was hiding it from others, afraid that they would fear her as much as she thought the ability scary. For a while, she didn't practice her skill and therefore wasn't able to develop it. With the increase in missions from genin to chunnin, she found herself in more and more situation in which he bones broke and healed rapidly. The girl was able to hide it until she was a jonnin, as her healing sped up rapidly with more practice. During missions, she was careless of her team mate's lives, often endangering everyone in battle. It wasn't until she was in jonnin that she returned alone from a mission, her team mates 'casualties'. With further inspection, she was killing her team mates during battle, mostly using them either as bait or meat shields.


Hows that? =D


Also modifying something about Sakura No Mai; her forearms and legs become covered in tiny bone spikes, which are the senbon launched during Sakura No Mai
 
A lot of the stories have made sense as to why they have their rankings and such.


But these are all people that have escaped and or been thrown out of their village. If they weren't talented they would be dead.
 
Rules of Posting[/URL] and the Rules Post regularity, you are accepted and may post in the IC. Do so before tomorrow. 
Sweet Revenge, You need to get to the meeting in your post, not just get to Amegakure. In the first page, my second GM post will tell you what happens, read it thuroughly, or at least just get yourself to the theater where the meeting is taking place. If you dont get there by tomorrow, then I will auto control your character there.
 
Name: Sakuya Date


Nickname/Alias: The Angle Of Death


Gender: Female


Age: 19


Height: 5,9


Sexuality: Straight


Village of origin: Village Hidden in the sand


Former Clan/Bloodline: ???


Former Position: Anbu


Chakra Nature: Fire


Specialty: Sensory


Appearance: With long black hair reaching down to my knees fringe cover my right eye and is tied in a high ponytail, I where a black Yokata cut off at just above my knees and the sleeves continue to down just coving my hands my boots are 1.5 inch wedges, no markings or scars on my body.


Personality: Im a dark person very quiet i love being at the center of a raging battle field filled with the screams of the dead or dyeing despite that I'm loyal to friends and those I trust


History: being blind I had a hard childhood with my hating mother and abusive father I left after killing them and my Anbu team. Ninja training was hard but I graduated top of my class every year. I don't like what happened in my past so I don't talk about it often


Theme Song: Endless nightmare by Gakupo Kamui


Equipped Weapons/Items: Twin scythes
 
This is me being polite, Skys. Browse several pages back and look at some of the character sheets... then look at yours.


If you indeed JUST started RPing, I must applaud you. It's better than most new people could come up with. But when put side by side to the rest of the characters here, it falls short. We have multi-paragraph backstory sections, immense and fully hyperlinked jutsu lists, large weapon lists, etc. You don't list a single jutsu.


Now I do apologize if I seem rude. Many people misinterpret my firm hand for rudeness. I did not once say it is a BAD sheet. I simply said it falls short of what is accepted here in this RP.


I see in the recent posts that you also applied to join Suika's Naruto RP. While I am not a fan of Suika's RPs, they will be far less demanding in regard to detail, and likely a good fit for you until you build up some skill.


That all said, I repeat that for a brand new RPer, the sheet is decent. I suggest using this exact sheet when you join Suika's RP.
 
I thank you as I alway enjoy being told what exactly I'm doing wrong then in fact I can go back and fix what it is this took me about five minuets and I can see what you mean also I'm never good a placing my ideas down in writing plus this character is a new one I'm developing so it's not as detailed as my other and a lot of my descriptions are short because that's just what I do for some reason but I thank you for pointing me in the right direction
 
We all start somewhere my friend. ^_^  
I'm new too. I started to RP about a month ago. You'll get the hang of it in due time. There still alot of stuff I got to learn as well
 

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