Realistic or Modern Identity Change (Pavilion & Clouds)

[Clouds]

Kou nodded slowly as he listened to these reasons Kazuo was listing even though he never rode one himself. “I won’t let you fall though…” He responded in a small voice as it slipped from him without even realizing it himself, his eyes lowering themselves as they focused onto his hands from which the fingers were interlocked with one another. It was a comforting feeling that he could hold something in vehicles like this, it made him feel like he could hold onto something without being overly clingy which would only annoy the other person in the end. Some light-hearted j-pop music was playing on the train, the walls were plastered with all kinds of advertisements which were plastered all over yet in a neatly manner so everything was visible to the eye. All kinds of different scents were mixed together as the windows weren’t opened yet, going from floral perfume to spice to sweat which could create some kind of abomination to the nose but it didn’t happen oddly enough. The smells just co-existed next to each other for some reason until one would make the entire balance collapse such as a heavier perfume.

His bluish-grey eyes slowly lifted themselves back up to take a look at Kazuo who seemed to be shifting awkwardly around in his train seat. Perhaps the confusion of having changed genders seemed to have sneaked back into the male’s mind which was to no surprise, his head tilting ever so slightly towards the right side so he could take a better look without fully sitting up. “Is there something wrong?” He asked mainly out of concern, the other part out of curiosity as he didn’t think there were any hostile people on board. “Did you see something?” He continued, forcing himself to lift up his own head so he was sitting straight, not being able to completely block the people’s view on him.

Carefully, he looked around but didn’t see anything out of the ordinary as it was full with the business people in suits who carried their small – most of them were black – handbags. Of course here and there were some students who could go from junior high to college from the way they dressed, most of them being focused on their phones listening to music, watching videos or replying to some messages. It’s already been a couple of years since Kou graduated from college in business so he could open up his own shop which was thriving smoothly from the looks of it. He had a co-owner who he got along with pretty well but he was out most of the time, working mainly from behind the scenes, more precisely keeping the finances and such steady. Kou really didn’t have a knack for that one so he was glad he met the other at college where they agreed on starting up their café.

 

[Pavilion]

Kazuo watched Kou's reaction to his words and he shook his head. “Yeah and what if I accidentally let go because I can not hold on much longer? Or what if you crash and it is not your fault? I'm not saying you're a terrible driver. Because I mean you look like you're not, but I know nothing about driving .” Kazuo added as he looked at Kou. He looked away again and out the window trying to ignore the uncomfortable feeling he was getting from the girls. He tried to focus on the music that was being played but it wasn't very helpful so he tried to focus on the passing scenery, watching as the sights moved past rather quickly. However, his attention was soon caught by Kou again as he asked if he was ok.

“Uh, yeah. Maybe? I don't know, those girls over there were just kinda looking at us and giggling. Obviously, it's very clear why, I mean I know from first-hand experience. It's just weird and I don't like it. And well it is kinda putting my mind on everything again. I don't really want to think about it, I just kinda wanna distract myself from it all. I mean I've been doing ok so far. I mean, you've kind of been a bit of a big help spouse. But, I don't like this feeling. “ Kazuo whispered quietly with a small sad whine afterward. He kept his voice quiet so the girls could not hear the two's conversation. “Maybe taking your bike would have been a better choice. “ He added, giving satisfaction to Kou that he was in agreement that the train wasn't the best of ideas. “How do you cope with it?” Kazuo went on to ask still staying sunk into the chair.

Surely Kou had some good advice, right? Kazuo was sure of it. Though it did kinda make him wonder, was this how guys felt when he and his friends used to do things like this? Now he felt a little bad but some guys liked the attention he wasn't. Though perhaps it had something to do with his lack of interest in girls? Kazuo was sure if he was to stay in this body, if there was no way to fix it he wouldn't be a boy who liked girls. He would be a boy who liked boys. Unless something down the line was to ever change that opinion, but Kazuo was sure there wouldn't be. He was certain of that opinion.

 

[Clouds]

Humming as he heard a better explanation as to why motorcycles were possibly a threat to Kazuo, it wasn’t something he never heard before and it made sense if there was some kind of trauma involved but as far as he knew there never was such a case before. Maybe the other watched a bit too many police or hospital series which set some kind of image of people riding those vehicles, it was possible. In the end, he decided to not continue on the subject anymore and let it be the way it was, perhaps he could change the guy’s mind within time as he could prove him wrong and motorcycles could be safe in their own way.

When Kazuo started talking about some girls staring at him in a rather uncomfortable manner, Kou’s eyes slowly drifted into the direction of where Kazuo glanced to swiftly, letting out an ever so slight groan as he didn’t like the attention on himself either. Also, the whole ordeal of Aki’s sister suddenly being a brother didn’t help to reduce the stress factor of both of them, especially as the train was getting crowded as they passed some bigger stations. “It’s something you can get used to but if you don’t like attention, it’s a different story. Wearing a hat does the trick most of the time like I’m doing…” He whispered back, his fingers slipping towards the simple black hat he was wearing and placed it on top of Kazuo’s head. Even though he hated it himself, he couldn’t make the other even more uneasy than they already were. He took in a deep breath before steadily letting it out again as he softly patted the guy’s head with a reassuring smile.

“Taking the bike would definitely have been the better choice but you were so adamant on taking the train…” He refuted with a teasing grin as he put his own feelings aside, ignoring the glances that were being thrown his way as his appearance wasn’t that common in Japan. Having silvery white hair, light coloured eyes, ears decorated with several piercings and a piece of his tattoo peaking out from under his shirt was quite a sight to behold. “But well, it’s only a bit more now and it’s not forbidden to watch something on your phone either.” He hinted as that could take his mind of off things for the time being. Kou slid back into his seat as well, his hand placed onto his forehead as he leaned against the iron bar, covering his face slightly but it made him feel better in this entire situation.

 

[Pavilion]

Kazuo turned his attention to Kou as he explained how he hid himself. “Right so hats, I just need to get hats.” Kazuo repeated back, although it felt strange. He never used to like wearing things like hats. Since they messed his perfect hair up that would take hours to do. But his hair was different now. Speaking of, he needed to figure out what to do with it. Right now it looked kinda messy, perhaps it was a conversation he could have with Aki later on. Or on another day. Though as Kazuo began to get lost in thought he jumped as Kou placed the hat on his head. He placed his hand on it adjusting it slightly. Then looked at Kou “Thank you.” He said softly, afterward his eyes drifted off towards the window as he looked at his reflection for a split second. He let out a small exhale before looking back to Kou.

A small chuckle escaped his lips as he looked at him. “Yeh well, I didn't expect any of this to happen. I just thought it would be a quick and easy ride.” Kazuo whined then looked to his phone, and nodded as Kou pointed out he could always use that to distract himself. “Yeah but, I kinda feel rude playing things out loud. Because what if some tired old man gets angry at me? “ Kazuo explained. He had many irrational fears. But even now, if he angered somebody. It was likely nobody would take pity on him like one would on a girl. At least that's what he was thinking at that moment. Afterwards, he just looked down and moved the beak of the hat over his eyes a little as he looked at the phone. He went through his gallery and looked at all the images in it. All of them changed just like the images in the house. It was strange and weird. How did this all work? Kazuo didn't question it any longer and instead lifted his head up. A voice over an intercom announced they were getting closer to Tokyo station, and to begin preparations to get off the train. “Well, this is us I guess.” Kazuo simply said and got on his feet.

He slipped his phone into his pocket and began following behind an older gentleman carrying a briefcase. He also made sure to keep his head down. He was still weary of the girls. But he felt better he could hide behind the hat. Plus now they were in Tokyo he could easily escape their gaze.

 

[Clouds]

Kou nodded absentmindedly as he had been trying to keep his composure during the train ride, avoiding the glances of curious people and those who were pointing the camera of their phones into his direction for just a tad too long without moving. It felt like they became black silhouettes with strange eyes scribbled onto their faces, the train received an eerie atmosphere as those images became more and more vivid which resulted in him sliding back even more as if trying to hole himself up. The voice of Kazuo calling out their end stop felt like he finally got a chance to escape this madness before he would break out in a sweat, if not a panic attack as it felt more stuffed the closer they got to the main city. His heart was thumping rapidly as he quickly got up from his feet, standing closer to Kazuo so he would not lose sight of him while he was trying to calm himself down mentally. It was always a weird feeling whenever he got into this situation as he couldn’t really do anything by himself besides wanting to run away from it all so he wasn’t trapped anymore. His hand unconsciously slipped into Kazuo’s, holding a steady grip as they made their way out of the station, ignoring every stare they would receive as he kept his focus on the exit boards. Once they slipped their tickets through the machine and were let out, he could finally take a break, exhaling with a shaky breath as if he managed to escape something dangerous. His hand was still intertwined with the other which he noticed as he looked down as he felt the warmth around him. ”Ah…” He exclaimed, feeling a little embarrassed that he didn’t take notice of it until now. ”I didn’t mean to do that, it just kind of happened.” He explained in a really bland way, rubbing the back of his neck which had a reddish flush on it due to the damp train he was in.

The fresh breeze engulfed his body, which made him shiver as he didn’t expect it but it made him feel better already now that he was outside. As he slowly got himself adjusted again, he opened the ‘google maps’ app on his phone and typed in ‘Golden Fish Sushi Bar’ which popped up pretty soon. It looked like the place was decent enough and the pictures looked good as well, which made him feel a little hungry again. ”The sushi place is not far from here, it’s also close to the clothing stores so it works out fine.” He said as he showed it to Kazuo automatically. The streets were not that full yet as it was around midday, hopefully they would still have some seats to spare once they arrived at the restaurant or they would need to wait in line like most of the time in Tokyo. Well, it indicated that the place was worth it but still… those who waited for more than an hour were crazy in Kou’s eyes.

 

[Pavilion]

Kazuo had not exactly caught on to Kou struggling with the train ride. Though then again, he didn't exactly know the signs. He just assumed he was relieved to get off the train as most people tended to be with long rides. However, as he took a couple of steps he was completely taken by surprise by the other interlocking his fingers into his and tugging him along. Kazuo hadn't registered it and went along with it, until they reached the outside of the station. And Kou let go of it after quickly realising himself. Though Kazuo noticed Kou’s shaky breathing. So he lifted his hand and took the hat off and placed it on Kou. “Um, this is yours “ Kazuo said softly, He wasn't sure what to do. But he didn't say anything about the hand-holding. However a tiny bit of him didn't mind it, and he didn't say anything on it either. He just brushed over it.

But Kazuo kept that to himself and casually watched Kou slip his phone out and go on Google Maps. While he did that Kazuo slipped his phone out and went on a game. Though, he was on it for a little under a minute before Kou spoke up and showed him how far away the restaurant was. “Well, let us head there now then, before it gets busy. And we can relax for a bit.” Kazuo told him softly. It seemed like a solid plan. He was hungry himself, plus he felt it would be good for Kou so he could calm down. They could sit in a booth in the back of the restaurant and hide from everyone. If they were lucky enough to be able to even sit in the back of the place

“Anyway, let's go. Actually no, you know what? I'm not even gonna give you a choice. We are going now.” Kazuo smirked with a cockey grin. Maybe he could cheer Kou up by being silly, it sure was taking his mind off things. After that thought, he tugged Kou's sleeve gently. He was trying to be gentle, he didn't know his strength in this body. So he didn't want to be too rough, in his old body he certainly wasn't the strongest. So this was different he had to be careful. “And, I might even buy you dessert from one of these street vendors. “ He added with a smile.

 

[Clouds]

Kou let his fingers swipe over the screen that was in his hand, trying to zoom in so he could see the narrow streets just a bit better so he could have a better sense of direction as the app on his phone often glitched. His gaze landing upon some buildings that stood out such as a big manga store or a maid café that was pretty popular in that capital of Japan; something that you wouldn't often see in the countryside and even less once you set foot out of the country. It was an interesting phenomena as well as the popularity of the red light district up in Shinjuku which was decorated with plenty of host and hostess clubs mixed in with normal bars and clubs. Now that he thought about it, it'd been a while when he went there as it was before he permanently moved to the countryside to take a break from all the hustle and bustle of the big city. Perhaps he could text some of his friends later on as he wasn't on who fervently replied in group chats and usually put it on mute to avoid the constant pinging while he was at work.

Just as he found the way to the sushi place, he felt something being placed on his head which made him focus back onto Kazuo who was shockingly enough closer in height than before. He made a swift bow automatically in response to the hat being on his rightful place again which made him feel just that more at ease as there was still the enormous amount of people lingering at the station at this time of the day. It wasn't unusual to spot foreigners as their appearance wasn't quite like the average japanese person but neither was he as he practically stood out in height and had stronger facial features. Sadly enough, the only thing the japanese weren't too fond of yet were his tattoos which adorned quite a bit of his body so he was denied access in quite some onsens or even bathhouses.

The moment that Kazuo took charge of the outing and didn't leave Kou any more time to fumble with the damn app on his phone, he couldn't help but to chuckle as they both seemed to be pretty hungry after the entire train ride. He let himself be guided before letting out a faint laugh: "That's a deal, there should be a good pancake spot somewhere." The road to the restaurant was pretty quick as they had some small talk with each other and nearly getting lost because they took a wrong detour somewhere which set them back for another five minutes. Once arrived, they were being greeted by a simple looking building but once Kou looked through the big open windows, a modern-bohemian interior was revealed right then and there. It was probably one of the key elements for the place to get such good ratings, his stomach started to rumble from the thought of what kind of sushi they served in there. As he opened the door, a cloud of aromas engulfed him: miso soup, salmon, grilled food. Everything he liked to eat.

The place was still not that busy so they managed to get a seat pretty quick by the waitress who was stumbling over her words which Kou thought of as cute as it was probably a new member of the company, especially by how nervous she was. They were seated somewhere in the middle of the establishment in a booth directly next to one of the conveyer belts that brought out everything; no matter how many times he saw this, he was still a big fan of this kind of thing. That and family restaurants where one had too many choices to choose from.

 

[Pavilion]

Kazuo nodded as Kou agreed to the deal. Pancakes sounded good, the fluffiness soaked in maple syrup. Kazuo couldn't help himself. He was just so hungry at this point. Every other thought he now had was food-related.
But once they started to head off to the restaurant those thoughts calmed down a bit. And the distraction of speaking to Kou helped too.

When they eventually reached the restaurant Kazuo took in the smells. It smelled so good, and he was excited to eat something. Whatever that would be. There was hardly really any food Kazuo disliked. He only really disliked food that was poorly cooked. Which was pretty normal as most people disliked it anyway. He would be strange if he didn't. As they walked Kazuo took everything. From the interior design to the smells that wafted throughout the building. It was nice.

Kazuo took his seat opposite Kou. He quickly thanked the waitress for the help and then diverted his attention towards the menu in front of them. The restaurant had details of the choices everyone could choose from on the conveyor belt. “Kou? What are you going to grab? I might get some sashimi, they have onigiri too. And Koji.” Kazuo said softly. He was just listing things off the menu that they had. Plus he was waiting for something tasty looking to come around on the conveyor belt for them to grab. “So, what's the plan today anyway? After we’ve eaten. Where are we going? Like shop wise?” Kazuo moved on to ask.

But Immediately afterwards a tasty plate full of many different tasty-looking sushi rolls came around on the conveyor belt. He picked up some chopsticks and began to eat, dipping the rolls into a small pot of soy sauce that came on the plate. He took his first bite and his face lit up. The food was really good. He finished his first bite and then looked at Kou “Ok, the food is really good. “ Kazuo said. He then pushed the plate towards Kou. “Go on, try some.” Kazuo then said with a big bright smile. Probably one of the happiest since he had come cross the cat. Afterwards, he grabbed another plate which had some rice balls on it. And he proceeded to eat one.

 

[Clouds]

Kou let his gaze slide over the extensive menu, his mouth already starting to water as he could smell the aromas engulfing the entire space. "I'll go with the spicy salmon roll and some octopus sashimi for now." He said with big eyes as he couldn't wait for the food to start coming. Pressing the buttons on the tablet that was standing on its little pedestal before turning it towards Kazuo, afterwards he filled two small cups with green tea which was free to take. Once they finished ordering everything, he returned his attention fully to the other. "There are a few shops around here that I'd like to check out that might fit your style. Don't kill me if they don't since we don't really have matching taste." He said as he gestured towards both their outfits that they were wearing. Kou usually wore black, it was a miracle if there was even a small line of bright colours was visible besides white.

They both plucked out some plates that looked good while they waited for their other order to arrive. It was mainly the classic dishes such as salmon nigiri and even some small grilled appetizers if they were lucky enough. Kazuo himself took a plat of tuna nigiri and of course he couldn't skip the fried shrimp that was smothered with some kind of mayo. One-shotting one of the nigiri with a satisfied look on his face once he started to chew through it. The fish here was really fresh! As Kazuo mentioned to taste some of his, Kou did the same with his plate. "Yeah, it really is good." He responded as he ate his second piece without trouble even though the pieces were quite big.

"So, how do you want to style yourself? You still want to go with the more feminine clothes or do you want to switch it up?" He asked out of curiosity as he didn't really know her that well now that he thought about it. "Or do you want to copy my style? It should be funny to see you like that." A chuckle escaped as he imagined Kazuo strutting his stuff all awkwardly. Unconsciously he moved his chopsticks to take another piece of his fried shrimp but held it out towards Kazuo as if he was used to doing things like this, not even realizing what he was doing.

 

[Pavilion]

Kazuo began to think about his ‘style’ as Kou mentioned going to the shops he felt would fit. He wasn't really sure, nor had Kazuo really thought about it. He could go down many paths and base his style on many different different things. But what would work? Previously he felt he had a really good style that suited him well, but now it was something he had to re-discover. However, his attention was distracted as he was too busy enjoying the food he was eating.

When Kou agreed the food was good Kazuo smiled “I told you this place would be good. It was worth the wait and the train ride. “ Kazuo said as he continued to eat some more pieces of his plate. His thoughts then drifted back to his style as Kou brought it back up. “Hm,” Kazuo muttered. “I'm not sure, I mean I didn't exactly pick this outfit willingly. It's the best of what Aki had to offer. So I'm not completely sure how I would like to style myself.” He spoke softly. He then chuckled a little. “I definitely won't be wearing something like what you wear. I know that for sure.” He pointed out. “I suppose the only solution is that I try on a couple of outfits and see what works. I've saved up a good bit of Yen from work. So I'm sure I'll be ok.” Kazuo explained to Kou then sipped his tea.

He placed the mug down. Once he looked up he noticed the shrimp and was a little confused. But he politely took it. “Oh, thanks.” He said softly then ate the small piece, he didn't think too much about it. “That tastes good too, this place is great.” Kazuo smiled happily. He then sipped the tea again and smiled. “What do you think would suit me best Kou? I mean, out of the two of us. You would probably know best right? “ Kazuo went on to ask. It was true, Kou would probably know best between the two of them.