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Realistic or Modern Falling. Fading Away

She shrugged a little and took his hands to help pull him up, adjusting his oxygen for him that he now needed full time. “I slept. Might take a nap later.” She told him, moving the tray to his lap once he was settled. “You still sure that you wanna go to Edens parent teacher conference tonight?” She asked him. Eden barely spoke to them beyond grunts lately and she knew it was starting to get to Noah
 
Noah nodded and took a deep breath before slowly reaching to eat his toast "Yes...I want.....I want to be there for her." He said quietly before closing his eyes and trying to relax.
 
She reached over, rubbing his chest in slow circles to try and soothe him a little. “We need to talk to them about upping your painkillers a little I think.” She sighed quietly, getting up when she heard Keaton downstairs. “Call if you need me okay? I’m gonna get them to school, Laura should be here in about ten or fifteen minutes, she called to say she was stuck in traffic.” She told him as they’d finally got a nurse to help her out after a few weeks of her struggling to do it on her own. “Love you. Be back soon.” She smiled, pecking his cheek and went down to get the kids to school.
 
Noah gave a small nod and smiled some "Love you too." He said softly before he began to slowly eat his food so that he could take his medicine. By the time she got home he was chatting quietly with Laura telling her the stories of their times together when they had first met "There she is, hows Keaton today?"
 
She smiled and set her keys down before sitting on the edge of the bed. “He’s tired but I did let him stay up a little late last night watching that movie. Also he better not be pretending he was like the smoothest guy around cause I can’t even begin to tell you Laura just how awkward and shy he used to be. I thought he was a creep the first few times I met him.” She smiked.
 
Noah gasped some and laughed as Laura began to laugh as well "I wasn't that bad!" He said before wheezing some and reaching out to Carmen "I want....I want to go to the living room today.."
 
She nodded and smiled tiredly at him. “Alright we’ll let Laura finish her checks and I’ll go get the gray sorted then I can come back and help you down there okay?” She murmured, kissing his cheek and got up to go sort out his leftovers, coming back up to help him up and support him down to the lounge, letting him take as long as he needed.
 
Noah panted softly as he finally got to the lounge and frowned deeply "I....I'm sorry....that I'm so....so useless now..." he wheezed while looking at her and letting a few tears fall "I just....I just want...you happy."
 
She frowned and wiped his cheeks while Laura tactfully went to make some tea, shaking her head. “You’re not useless puppy. Never have been, never will be.” She murmured, kissing his forehead then tucked him in with some blankets. “Get some rest okay? Me and Laura will just be in the kitchen okay?” She murmured, waiting til he was asleep and she headed in to chat with her. “How’s he doing?” She asked her quietly, opening up a can of coke and offering one to Laura but shut the fridge when she declined.
 
Laura politely declined the drink offer and sighed softly "Its not good, his oxygen intake is becoming worse. If....if he doesn't get a donor soon I'd recommend a permanent stay in the hospital." She explained as gently as she could to her.
 
She nodded slowly and frowned. “I need to have some tough conversations with him when he wakes up today.” She sighed quietly, rubbing at her face and went to sit in the lounge and do some work on her laptop just to be near him. She glanced over when she noticed he was awake around lunch time and smiled a little. “How long you been laying there just watching?” She smiled at him some, “You up for a couple hard questions?” She asked him quietly.
 
Noah glanced at the clock on the wall and smiled a bit "Ten minutes." He said quietly before frowning a bit and nodding "What are they?" He asked softly reaching out slowly to her to hold her hand.
 
She moved her laptop to the side and went to sit on the floor next to him, taking his hands in hers tightly. “I spoke to Laura, she said she’s getting worried about your oxygen intake. It’s getting worse…. She thinks it would be better for you health wise to go to the hospital to wait for a donor…. But… that would mean that if we have run out of luck… then that’s where you’d spend your last days.” She told him quietly, doing her best to keep it together right now. “The other question we gotta ask you at this point is, do you want to put a DNR in place at this point or do you want to do everything possible to keep going?” She asked him, kissing his knuckles while she sat and let him think.
 
Noah took a deep breath watching her a bit as he ran through everything in his head "I don't.....I don't want to die in a hospital room." He whispered taking another deep breath and squeezing her hand the best he could. "I....would...would you be okay if....if I signed a DNR?" He asked quietly feeling a few tears fall as he thought about leaving her. He didn't want to, for a fact he didn't want to leave her or the kids, but he didn't know how much longer he could take this.
 
She nodded slowly and watched him, stroking the cat when he came over to sit with her. “Okay, okay.” She murmured, leaning over and kissed the side of his mouth. “I want you to do the DNR and I know how that sounds but I have watched you do your best for us for so long and I want you to rest if they can’t get you a donor.” She told him quietly, wiping his cheeks gently. “We’ll have a talk with the lawyer in the morning then okay?” She murmured, “I gotta go collect the kids in a little bit but Jolly is on his way over to spend some time with you okay?” She murmured,
 
Noah gave a small nod and took deep breaths "Okay...sounds good...I love you." He whispered letting a few tears fall again "If....if the hospital...will be more comfortable....then I will go....only if it will be comfortable." He murmured to her just watching her some.
 
She frowned and shook her head. “I don’t think it will be more comfortable for anybody puppy…. Laura gave me a number for a couple places I can call for us to have round the clock care for you at home…. And I would rather you were at home with extra help than stuck in a hospital room where the kids are limited on how much they can see you.” She told him quietly. “But Noah I think you should stay here rather than go to the school tonight. I can always FaceTime you in for hee teachers but it’s not gonna do you any good.” She murmured, sighing a little until she heard her phone ringing, going to grab it and frowned at the number, not recognising it. “Hello? Carmen Davis speaking?” She asked, going back and hold his hand tightly.
 
Noah sighed heavily and nodded "Okay....I think...I'll listen to you.." he whispered before smiling some at her. He frowned some seeing her face when she answered the phone "Whats....wrong?"
 
She nodded as she listened. “Yep…. Absolutely…. Yes, thank you… thank you. We’ll be there soon as we can.” She told the person on the other end and finally hung up. “Neither of us are going to parent teacher conferences. I’m gonna get Jolly to go get the kids instead. Change of plans, we’re getting you to the hospital.” She smiled at him, calling jolly and asking him to reroute himself and assured him she’d let the schools know then called each school to explain that their uncle would be picking them up instead and finally turned to Noah. “You ready to go to the car?” She asked him smiling some, quietly hopeful that things would go smooth as possible
 
Noah looked at her confused and nodded some "Uh yeah? What....whats going on? Is there....is there a donor?" He asked quietly breaking down finally when she sais yes and did his best to calm himself so they could get up and leave.
 
She waited til he had settled and finally got him up carefully and let him take his time to the car, heading out with him, holding his hand the whole drive there. “I’m hoping the kids can get up here before they take you in cause otherwise it’s gonna be a minute before they can see you.” She sighed a little, parking as close as she could and got him to wait there while she went to get a nurse to help her with him, calling nick once the nurse was helping him to let him know what was going on.
 
Noah held her hand the entire time as they wheeled him to the room he needed to be in. He took a deep breath when they came in to get him prepped looking at Carmen "Where....where are the kids....I have....I have to see them.." he whispered
 
She frowned and gave his hand a squeeze. “Hey, relax okay? They’re just doing the pre checks okay? It’s gonna be at least half an hour to an hour before they take you in okay? Jolly is picking them up now alright?” She murmured, stepping to the side while they looked him over, texting anyone else that needed to know what was going on then finally put her phone down and sat near him, holding his hand tightly. “I’m gonna be right here when you come out okay?” She promised.
 
Noah took as deep of breaths as he could and squeezed her hand the best he could "I...what if...what if I don't come out?" He whimpered as he watched her.
 
She shook her head and frowned a little. “I can’t think about it like that.” She told him quietly, squeezing his hand. “But I think you know that I love you; that even with all the shit we’ve gone through that I wouldn’t change you for the world.” She murmured. “We’ve got two great kids, who both adore you even if Eden is a moody teenager now.” She smiked a little. “I love you.” She repeated, leaning over and kissed his forehead. She was quiet after that until she heard the kids coming through the door with jolly and smiled a little. “Hey guys, you gotta be quick cause they’re gonna take dad to help him in ten minutes okay? No kisses either right now.” She told them, thanking jolly when he hugged her from the side.
 

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