Fantasy Cosmical Glitch ( ellarose & starboob. )

[ellarose]

Lettie's still wearing a shit-eating grin, even after the pink-clad pirate tackles form her chair and onto the ground. She even has the audacity to giggle as they roll around in spite of the fact that her life may very well be in jeopardy because of her antics. (Again, it would've been worth it. Having to deal with being a captive on this ship has been hard on her-- what else is a faerie to do but cultivate her own reasons to smile in these trying times?) Of course, her amusement is dampened just a bit when her broken wing is crushed against the floor, sending black fireworks exploding in front of her eyes. "Ow! If you want me to change them back you need to ask nicely, Juju! Geez." She huffs back and attempts to shove her off. That attempt does very little against the pirate's muscles, honestly, but before she can begin to regret any of her admittedly questionable life choices the world around them glows as bright as a shooting star and...

And the tables turn as well when they go soaring into the air and then back down again, landing Lettie on top of Juno. Again. Well, at least she's got at least that going for her? (The universe often gets her into trouble only to bail her out of it later. It's an endless cycle where she doesn't know whether or not it's actually on her side. The universe, she's come to understand, is an indecisive bitch and life itself is a gamble.) Anyway-- there's no time to question why this has happened more than once. Not when there's so much at stake! The temperature is noticeably warmer now, meaning they've officially kissed that snow-hell they'd been stuck in goodbye and that they've been tossed onto some other world.

Alright! Time to enact scene 'Lettie's Great Escape'-- take three. Cube, cube, cube... her heart nearly pounds out of her chest in the few perilous moments it takes for her to find her one lifeline in all the worlds and snatch it up. The faerie springs to her feet the instant it's in her grasp and hurtles out of the room, hopping over Carpet's corpse in the doorway as she does. (Hehe. She'd left it there as a convenient obstacle, really, with hopes that the pirate might trip over him whenever she decided to leave. Reiterating her point that a lady's gotta cultivate her own amusement in these trying times. Anyways, seems like it might also serve her well now in putting some distance between them-- provided it works.) Admittedly her first two attempts didn't go so well-- but they have that expression about the third time being the charm for a reason, right?

Now that Lettie's properly studied up on the layout of the ship (yeah-- surprise surprise-- she hasn't just been gossiping and painting her nails) she's quick to sprint for the nearest exit, dodging and toppling confused skeletons in the process. "'Scuse me! Coming through!" As much as she adores their company, she's received intel from the skellies themselves that they couldn't just conveniently look the other way and let her leave whenever the next opportunity arose. It's nothing personal, of course! "Sorry!"

It appears to be going pretty smoothly for her until the massive nine-foot tall skeleton Juno created in front of her the other night stands in doorway.

"Aw Phillip, come on!" Lettie purses her lips into a pout. "After everything we've been through?" The sweet rager and all? The skeleton shrugs and droops their head. Well, okay. The emotional angle obviously won't work here if the skeleton's got no other choice in the matter. The 'it's nothing personal' sentiment obviously also applies to her new skeleton buds. "No, don't worry about it. It's cool! I'll just..."

Ugh! And Lettie got so close to leaving without burning up any of her magic this time around! Heh. Well, if you didn't count that little prank she just played on Juju, anyway. But that was worth it, if only just to see the look on her face! It's immortalized in her memory now, something to look back on if she ever needs a good reason to laugh and--

And remembering the pirate's rage, Lettie quickly activates her magic and phases through the skeleton in the doorway, racing out to explore the new world. The weather is comfortably warm (thank fucking goodness!) and the climate? It's no longer an endless sea of white but a lush green forest clearing that stretches out before her. Breathing in fresh air, she can't help but smile at the sight. Okay! Not a planet full of clothes or anything-- but you know what? She'll take it! Of course can work with this. She's a faerie for goodness sake!

Lettie ventures out further to continue her exploration until a big gust of wind knocks her backward. Oof! Oh stars. "What in the--" Know what isn't commonly in forests? Big flying whales. "Whales!?" Yes, whales. One swoops over her head and off towards the horizon. When her gaze pans upward, she notices perhaps hundreds of other aquatic creatures, swimming through the big blue sky as if this whole world is just one big aquarium. And for a moment the faerie forgets her plight to stop and stare at it all. Like!? "Wow." Silently, she hopes there aren't any fucking flying mermaids out there among them. Last thing she needs right now is a bunch of conceited sky fish with flowing hair judging her... especially not while her wing is broken! Flying is supposed to be her thing, all right?

 

[starboob]

Alright, so this is... the third time she's been ripped from one reality and hurled into another? So shouldn't she know to close her fucking eyes? Because currently her corneas are being burnt to a crisp by this fucking white-ass starlight! 'Close your fucking eyes, you idiot!' And that's when she realizes her eyes are closed and the light is actually just that goddamn bright. 'Fuuuuuuck.'

When the cube finally settles out, Juno grunts as her back hits the floor––feeling all kinds of disoriented because she distinctly remembers the floor being beneath her hands, not her back. Plus, the glare from the light is still fucking with her vision and will for the next couple of minutes (if she's lucky) AND she's almost fucking positive that the body on top of her is none other than the faerie's. (Who else would it be and is bad she's already committed the feeling to memory?) There's so much going on for her that she doesn't know what to even process first. ...Obviously, she chooses to go with the fact that she's been under Olympia three times now because it's, uh, the most pressing. (Yeah, who needs to fucking see? That's not concerning at all.) Mostly just to be supportive, her hands automatically go to grab bugsy's hips but before she can, she feels Olympia push off of her ribs to get up, causing her to gasp, and then hears her dashing out of the room. "Fuck!" Again!!

It takes her a minute to find her legs so that she can flip herself over and race to catch the faerie and when she does she has all the fight of a rampaging bull––that immediately gets interrupted by one foot hitting Clay's body and the other stomping onto his chest, completely throwing her off balance because she hadn't fucking expected that. (Totally fucking forgot about that stupid corpse being right in the fucking doorway.) Again, it takes her several tries to get proper footing with her eyesight still returning to her, but she springs back to her feet and starts chasing after the faerie––completely forgetting she's in an entirely pink fucking get-up thanks to that fucking fuck. Well, she's soon reminded of that as her vision starts to return to normal and she notices the skeletons fucking snickering! That's when she looks down and really does start to see in blazing red, just like a fucking bull. "Get back here, motherfucker!"

As always, that command does not work and her would-be prisoner continues to run. When she finally gets to the exit she's pretty sure the faerie had been running towards, she sees her nine foot tall creation and wants to say that she's relieved, but she notices a distinct lack of fucking faerie in the behemoth skeleton's grasp. "Where the fuck she'd go?!"

The skeleton, known as Philip, shrugs and then tries to mime something that translates to 'She went through the door.'

"What the fuck does that mean? You let her fucking escape?! Ugh! Get outta my way, fucking useless pile of shit." She shoves the skeleton away and pushes through the exit and––

She gasps. The pirate's eyes widen as she slows down and comes to a stop, her earlier anger melting away, entirely overcome by what she's seeing. Her jaw drops and she has to rub her eyes to make sure she's not tripping. (She's tempted to think the faerie might have put a hallucinogenic spell on her, but her heart tells her that this is totally. fucking. real.)

"What the fuck..." she exhales.

She looks backwards at the flock of... sea creatures? Or, maybe not...? The magazines always had her thinking these were the creatures that existed under water, but they sure as hell aren't underwater right now. (At least, she's pretty fucking sure.) The warm air seems to hit her all at once––it's heavy and thick and clings to her skin so she strips off her (pink) coat, letting it fall in a heap, then strips off her (pink) outer shirt, leaving her in a loose-ish (pink) muscle tank. She uses her outer shirt to wipe her brow, forgetting she’s upset about the color, and surveys the skies. "I..." she steps closer to the faerie, forgetting that she hates her for, well, everything. Thanks to that, she doesn’t even try to resume their earlier fight. "Where is this?" She won't admit she's never seen anything like this before, but her awe is clear as the crystal skies above.

Reluctantly, she tears her gaze away from the not-aquatic creatures and looks around at the rest of this new world. Were she like her skeleton crew, her jaw would have literally fallen off at the sight of trees––real fucking trees! She runs over to the railing to get a better view of the forest, sparks dancing in her stormy eyes. She's never seen a shade of green before that didn't make her want to fucking puke. 'Holy fucking shit.' "Hey––" she starts, turning around only to see a fucking shark staring her right in the face. (Now, Juno may not know much about marine life––the Calamity took care of most it––but she does know that sharks are fucking evil.) Without thinking, she punches it in the nose!

"Ow!" Yes, that is the shark speaking. "Rude! What did I ever do to you? I just wanted to offer you a ride since you seem so enamored with the Lost Forest, but since you decided to choose violence... I think I will eat you and your friend!"

 

[ellarose]

"I dunno." Lettie answers Juno's question dreamily, lost in a similarly dazed state. (Even for her, this is a sight to behold. She's so captivated she doesn't even process that the pirate has caught up with her yet.) The sea creatures swimming in the clear blue skies are majestic. She's never seen into a world quite like this before with looking glass magic before. And all at once she's overcome with the overwhelming desire to fly and get a closer look at the colorful sky fish, with their scales glinting like gemstones in the sunlight, only to remind herself not to act on that impulse because obviously her wing is still broken. (Yeah, attempting to use it to dodge a fucking bomb taught her that lesson the hard way! Trying to fly with broken wings nearly got her killed so... no way is she making that mistake twice.) It's when Juno runs past her towards the railing that she snaps out of her reverie and reassess her situation instead of her surroundings. Quickly, she chucks the cube into her dimensional purse to ensure that it's safely in her own hands, no matter what disaster may ensue from this point forward.

'I should run now.' Lettie knows this, but she admittedly gets a teeny bit preoccupied with watching this display of unadulterated awe that the pirate's showcasing, which is something she has most definitely never seen from Juju before in the course of the few days they've known each other. (Especially considering the fact that it makes her forget the fact that she's clad in an all-pink ensemble.) This emotion--something other than the usual tiers of her rage-- almost looks like childlike wonder on her. It's almost-- almost endearing? In a way. The way those stormy eyes sparkle certainly tugs at something she didn't know existed in her own heart and...

Almost endearing? Endearing and Juno? In the same sentence? Heh, no way. Is she high or something!? Maybe the rancid roast wasp she forced herself to eat is messing with her brain. Right, that's clearly the only explanation. Lettie shakes her head in attempt to shake the thought and reset to the status quo. All the more reason to run the fuck away! And the forest surely has plenty for her to eat to get herself thinking clearly again. Her stomach rumbles eagerly at the thought of it.

Anyway, snapping out of her trance becomes especially easy to do, considering that in the same moment Lettie short circuits, Juno simultaneously lands them in piping hot water by punching a fucking shark in the face. With those beautiful toned muscles which aren't obscured by her sleeves for once. Whew. And let her repeat, whew. Fuck, Lettie! You're so gay. Stop.

No, no, no-- wait a fucking sec! Lettie swiftly puts a stop to these thoughts before they can continue down this traitorous path. Friends? Why does everyone keep jumping to that (obviously wrong) conclusion!?

"Hold on! We--" Lettie gestures wildly between herself and Juno, "We are not friends! Don't get it twisted!" For some reason, setting the record straight is more important to her than the fact that, well, the shark had mentioned eating them. So that's where her priorities are right now.

The shark turns to look expectantly at the faerie and she gulps silently seeing the rows of sharp, shiny teeth. Wow. Can't say she's never stood face to face with a shark before. Let alone spoken with one. Then again, she can say the same for peppermints, mammoths, and skeletons. She's survived everything the worlds have had to throw at her thus far, and well... this shark strikes her as friendly in the same fashion the skeleton crew did. If she smiles politely and doesn't think about all the numerous ways this shark could tear her apart, she might just prevent a disaster before it can unfold. For fucking once.

"Nonetheless," Lettie says, summoning up all of the bravery and charisma she possesses. She sets her tiny hand down against the shark's massive nose and rubs it gently. "I am super sorry for Juju and her atrocious behavior. She's rude to me, too. Always yanking on my poor wings." The faerie angles her body to allow the creature a glimpse of them. (Ah. Her wings were made to be seen in the sun like this-- they sparkled like a crystalized, blue-violet ocean in the light. They're still beautiful... even if one of them looks noticeably (tragically) crunched.) "As you can see, one of them is broken."

"Wow!" The shark gazes at them with admiration and Lettie blossoms like a flower under the positive attention. "I've never seen anyone like you before. What's your name?"

"Olette. Pleasure to meet you!" Lettie drops into a curtsey and then subtly shifts her eyes towards Juno and mouthes 'help me'-- hoping the shark might get the hint without her having to say it outright. "And I would love to see the Lost Forest. We can totally leave the grumpy pirate here. In fact..." She backs up, sensing Juno's going to catch on. "Please take me with you. And only me. And if you know of a good wing doctor, I'd be so appreciative if we could stop there first!"

 

[starboob]

Sharks aren't supposed to talk, Juno is pretty damn sure. Technically, neither are bones––bones shouldn't even be able to walk on their own––but she reasons that's entirely fucking different since it's a product of (badass) necromancy. It makes sense. Pointy fish, evil circles, and fucking hairy elephants should keep their mouths shut. (And snow should also just remain fucking snow.) 'It's probably the faerie,' she guesses, seeing a pattern that probably isn't even there. 'I bet it has something to do with her weird ass raver magic. Sending everything fucking haywire.' Unfortunately, now is not the time for Juno to gripe about the biggest annoyance in her fucking life, especially since this fucking shark goes from being a supposedly helpful tour guide to fucking murderous (just as Juno fucking suspected). She shrugs, dropping her (pink) outer shirt to the ground and raises her fists (because fighting a one ton fucking shark with her fists just makes sense to Juno, okay?). "Alright, chum-bucket––"

'Damn.' She had been totally ready to fight the shark but it's just like the faerie to interrupt her fucking fun. 'Fucking killjoy.'

She crosses her arms over her chest and rolls her eyes as the faerie goes on about whatever sob story she's made up for herself to paint herself as the victim. Blah, blah, blah, mean pirate, blah, blah, blah my poor fucking wing, and so on. 'Goddess, doesn't she ever get tired of this shtick?' Like, if Juno closes her eyes to reality, she can see where the faerie is coming from. But she also knows that she's full of pure and utter crap. Getting angry at the pirate for capturing her and being mean is like being fucking shocked that fire is fucking hot and that lava is a forbidden liquid. 'Does she realize she's making herself look like a bigger fucking idiot than she already is?' The pastel hair apparently doesn't scream that loudly enough for the faerie. (Has it always been pink?) The pirate tilts her head back and groans, only half paying attention to the faerie and the shark.

"Aren't you a darling!" The shark's exclaims, clearly enamored with the faerie. "Well, Olette, you are in luck! I happen to very good at," 'helping people,' they mouth, "Lost Forest tours! The name's Regis, Sir Regis if you want to get fancy. Climb aboard, winged land fish!"

'Wait a fucking minute.' Juno's arms fall from her chest as the pieces come together, watching the shark dip their head for the faerie to climb aboard. "I don't fucking think so!" the pirate shouts, chasing after the fucking shark and the fucking faerie as they start to fly away. She leaps and grabs onto the shark's tail. "Don't fucking think you're getting away that fucking easy!"

"Excuse you!" Sir Regis protests, thrashing their tail, "No pirates allowed! No grumps! Off, captain grumpy gills!" With another forceful thrash, Juno is thrown off the shark and is left free falling through the air.

'Fucking great.' She feels around for her whip, but before she can use it to grab onto something another creature comes in for the save––a huge fucking jellyfish to be precise. (But to Juno it's a a weird alien blob.) The landing is soft enough, but she can see the faerie getting further and further away. 'Dammit!' "Hey, go fucking faster! I'm chasing that fucking shark!"

"..." the jellyfish does not reply as it communicates beyond the plane of human comprehension.

"Fuck you!" Juno, however, takes it as a slight and jumps from the jellyfish, onto the back of another animal. It groans, probably curses at her, but she doesn't pay attention to that. Instead, she continues to jump from sea creature to sea creature, getting closer and closer to the faerie and that stupid fucking shark. When she finally lands on a suitable vessel, she settles on the creature's back and leans forward, ready for a chase.

"Oi! Asshole! This ain't a free ride. Pay or––"

"Or nothing, little bitch," Juno barks, placing her hands on the side of the whale's head. Underneath her fingertips she can feel a constellation of energy passing through the animal, like electrical synapses that send tingles through the necromancer's heart. She concentrates on the flow of energy, pulling it up into herself. The whale shrieks and tries to buck her off, to no avail. "Stop fucking resisting," she hisses to the animal, redoubling her efforts to possess the killer whale. She digs her fingertips into the beast and forces the exchange of energy until she's pushed enough of the whale's spirit to the side in exchange for her own. Her senses all double and, to be honest, it's fucking jarring possessing a killer whale––she hadn't fucking considered that they have entirely different ways of sensing. (She never thought she'd use this trick on an animal before, but here she is, expanding her necromantic accolades.)

The whale, under her spell, speeds towards the shark with that little raver sitting on top. Goddess, she's going to fucking––

"Wee-oo, wee-oo!" What the fuck? "Halt, pink terrors!! You're under arrest!"

 

[ellarose]

Captain grumpy gills! That's a good one. Lettie giggles, deciding then and there that she and Sir Regis are going to get along swimmingly. When Juno is cast off the shark, she offers the pirate a coquettish little wave of her hand before looping her arms around the shark's center to keep herself securely on his back. Wide-eyed, she looks all around her with fascination as they take off into the sky, high above the treetops, among the clouds and multitudes of other fish. The wind caresses her hair and as they go higher and higher it sends an electric thrill down her body. Ah! There's nothing better than flying. She curls her toes tightly, giddy with the sensation. As much as a bummer as it is to have a broken wing, she's gotta admit it feels kind of nice to kick back and relax back here! Even better yet, she's getting further and further away from that mean grumpy gills pirate! Freedom is within her reach and now all she's got to do is--

Hearing the disgruntled shouts of fish all around them, Lettie casts a curious glance backward. Oh my fucking stars. She's not. But she totally is. The faerie's eyes practically bug out at the sight of Juju. Juju who is currently playing an extremely rude game of hopscotch across the backs of various creatures, hellbent on closing the distance between them. Fuck, fuck, fuck! Well, that's what she gets for assuming that everything'd be smooth sailing from that point on. Damn. She can see the rage blazing in those stormy eyes even from the distance they're at now (it isn't very hard to picture it at this point!) and she's gaining on them.

"Sir Regis! Listen, I totally appreciate what you're doing for me right now. You're a life saver. A real bro." Lettie starts, approaching the matter as politely as she can. Sir Regis is her first true ally (at least when it comes to escaping that pirate) and she needs to make sure he stays that way. "But do you think you could go a bit faster? Or a lot faster? I don't mean to rush your tour, it's been lovely-- five stars! But..." She gulps. "Captain grumpy gills is chasing after us! And if she catches up to me, I'm pretty sure she's gonna break my other wing. Or throw a bomb at me. You never know."

"What!?" Sir Regis asks incredulously. The shark glances behind briefly, awfully surprised that the pirate managed to chase after them at all. "Whoa, you weren't kidding! Well, don't you worry little lady. It's only a matter of time before she attracts the authorities behaving like such a rapscallion!" He glances back again and his eyes truly bug out this time as he watches the development of Juno steering a whale towards them before Lettie does. "Gee! Looks like there's something seriously wrong with old Humperdinck."

"Old Humperdi-- what the fuck!" Lettie wheezes when she catches a glimpse of what the shark is talking about. Juno on a fucking zombified whale who she assumes is 'old Humperdink'. Oh... she's faerie dust. She'll be scattered over the lost forest, never to be seen again.

Before the faerie can even begin to cope with this development, however, she watches in growing disbelief as a squad of three terrifying anglerfish zoom into view around Juno and her whale. They're all large misshapen fangs, dead eyes, and luminescent fin rays that flash with alarm. Yikes! Talk about creepy.

"Yep. That'd be the authorities. We don't take well to rudeness 'round these parts!" Sir Regis supplies helpfully. He seems to be taking this well, all things considered.

"Pink terrors!?" Lettie pouts, not taking it nearly as well. "Why does everyone keep lumping us together like that? I haven't done anything wrong!" Nothing except for look criminally fabulous with the wind tossing her pretty pink locks! Hmmm. Pink locks. Gears begin turning in her head with that. If they're gonna define them by color like that...

"Sir Regis, can you make a quick nosedive? I'll hop off in the forest." Lettie offers the shark a friendly wink, "I don't want to cause you any trouble!"

"You sure?" Sir Regis asks. Lettie nods vigorously, sweat beading at her brow as she notices Juno and the anglerfish gaining on them.

"Suit yourself! Hold on tight!" The shark returns the friendly wink and they drop from the sky rollercoaster fast, causing Lettie to squeal and hug onto him for dear life. Okay, okay, okay! Get it together! She reminds herself. Once they're at a safe enough distance from the ground, the faerie slips off the shark's back and lands gracefully on the forest floor. Whew. She mouthes a big 'thank you' to the shark before sprinting off like a bullet, weaving around trees. Knowing the branches are shielding her, she deliberately moves in the direction they'd been coming from in attempt to bamboozle her numerous pursuers.

Whipping herself behind a particularly large tree to hide, Lettie swiftly changes her hair to a shade of green that might help her camouflage with her surroundings. Ha! Pink terror no longer. From there, she decides to take a second to catch her breath. There's no need to exhaust herself with running until she knows for sure if there's any immediate danger she ought to be running from. If I listen carefully enough... I should be able to tell where the pirate is. Because eventually she's sure to hear Juno's signature 'what the fuck', determine where it's coming from, and run in the opposite direction.

 

[starboob]

Juno's pretty sure she's not even being chased by fish. Like, when she looks backwards at those disgusting creatures, they almost seem like something that would spring out of the malevolent spirits that haunt her planet. Compared to all the other aquatic fucks floating through the air, these are an absolute goddamn eyesore. Whatever––far be it from her to care about aesthetics. She turns back around and lowers herself closer to the whale, kicking its side to get it to speed up, and not bothering to shout any sort of warning to the schools of fish innocently meandering through the sky. Instead, she crashes straight into them in the pursuit of that fucking faerie.

"Hey! Watch it, Humperdink!"

"I've got a baby on board, asshole!"

"Not cool!"

Yeah, as if any of that would ever get the pirate to fucking stop. Pfft, not even those disgusting demonic fish cops are going to get her to slow down––she's not even worried about getting caught or arrested since it's never happened before. (Well, at least not effectively. She's always gotten away someway, somehow to do crimes again another day.) Heh. She's so close to turning that piece of shit to ashes, she can practically imagine what it'll be like to snort them. "It's fucking over, motherfucker!"

Well, would have been had she not taken a fucking nose dive. "Shit, shit, shit!" She kicks the whale again and angles it down towards the forest, trying to keep her eyes on that pink splotch against the green. Except, she can feel her control over the whale slipping as it tries to resist her. What's worse are the beads of blood coming out of her pores from exerting this much energy. (Definitely not one of her most thought out plans, she'll admit.) Crap––she's going to lose the whale before sticking a landing, she can feel that inevitably happening already and there's no point in wasting more energy on this.

Rather than let the whale buck her off, she lets go and braces herself to make a nasty fucking fall––

Konk!
Crunch!
Snap!

Thud. ​

"Ughhh," she moans, staring up at the little birdies and stars circling over her head. She rises similar to a zombie and rubs the back of her head, momentarily forgetting just what she did to land herself in this position. It comes back to her soon after seeing her pink fucking clothes and she's reminded of that little shit bug that she's going to squash and eat. "Bitch... I'm going to fucking find you––" she mutters, wincing as she tries to stand up against the protests of pretty much every bone in her body. Her head already feels fucking light from her most recent trick, so she knows she should be careful with her magic––that means, fuck healing. Her priority is catching the worst thing to ever fucking happen to her.

When she makes it to her feet, she stumbles forward, this way and that, before finding her balance. Her fingers fish through her pocket for some fodder, tossing out some bone shards and growing them into a small skeleton search squad. (Definitely not her smartest move given that she's bumping up against her limits and now her nose is fucking bleeding. Though it's also very likely that Juno doesn't know when or how to quit.) "F-find her," she heaves out, sending the skeletons fanning out through the lost forest. She then grabs her whip and unfurls it into a machete, heading in a direction of her own.

The forest is thick with dense greenery and Juno? Well, maybe if she weren't in rampage mode could find it in herself to enjoy her first experience in a forest but, alas, she's chopping down the wood with careless disregard. They're just fucking trees. She looks around the forest for any sign of where the faerie might have landed, but she must've landed with more grace seeing as there is a clear gap in the canopy where Juno fell through and none so to speak for the little shit. She pauses her onslaught against the trees and hides herself behind one for a second, closing her eyes to see if she can hear the rustling of something other than skeletons or the fucking demonic fish who seem to have followed them. ("Over here!" one cries, heading in the total opposite direction to Juno. 'Fucking idiots.') When she thinks she hears something that sounds vaguely like a little shit (don't ask questions), she darts from behind the tree towards what she assumes is the faerie and, uh, cuts into a tree shaped person? Alright, so that was a fucking miss and she's ready to continue her search––except the stump she just created screams and the entire forest begins to move and shift in violent quakes. Whoops.

 

[ellarose]

Lettie tenses with alarm when she hears a loud crash from above. (Although this is a perilous situation to be sure, she quietly sticks one of the wild berries she'd plucked off a nearby bush into her mouth. Popping it between her teeth, she waves her arms in a silent little happy dance when she tastes the delightful sweetness she expects on her tongue. Yummy! ...What? She's hungry, all right? Two days and she's had nothing to eat but roast wasp! Her priorities are totally in order here. If her life is going to keep moving on this unpredictable trajectory, it's dire that she eats some actual food to keep her wits about her.) Not daring to peek out from her hiding place, she guesses that'd obviously be Juju on her massive whale crashing through the branches to pursue her in the forest. She pictures it clear as day and, really, does she even need to look and risk giving her position away? She blends in fairly well, the forest seems to wrap around her to offer protection. Even her wings take on a translucent sheen that helps her camouflage even further into her natural surroundings. Chewing silently on another berry, she hears the 'authorities' simultaneously getting closer as well while wailing their whiny siren calls. Then, for a moment, all is silent. She hears the brush of the branches above as a light wind swirls through them. (It's one of the most peaceful sounds in the world, if you ask the faerie. That's precisely why she doesn't fully trust it in this context.) Hmmm. Did they all go running the other way? Have they been successfully bamboozled?

Swallowing down the rest of the berries in a handful, Lettie brushes her fingertips over the twin braids she'd styled her hair in to make sure they're still intact and presentable. (This is also a purely strategic move on her part. The anglerfish are looking for a stunning faerie with her hair in a fluffy pink ponytail-- not a stunning faerie with spring green hair tied in braids! The only thing she cannot change is the fact that she is a stunning faerie, because that will always be true.) The little white and blue wildflowers she stuck between the twists of hair are just... well, she can't explain that part away. They're just pretty and she likes them. And as far as she's concerned, no one should blame her for trying to have a little harmless fun!

There's hardly any time to breathe out a big sigh of relief, though, when Lettie pokes out of hiding and immediately finds herself staring face to face with a fucking skeleton. The faerie imagines their non-existent eyes widening as they slap a hand to the top of their skull, hop up and down and point with alarm. Oh shit! Panicking, she immediately sends one of her ghostly butterflies fluttering over. It lands on the skeleton's hand... and it only manages to peer down at it with curiously before it explodes. She flinches with sympathy. "Sorry buddy. It had to be done."

Suddenly there's a loud 'craaaack'. Wait-- but that explosion wasn't nearly large enough to take out a tree! (Lettie's not that stupid. She knows better than to disrespect the trees in an unfamiliar forest.) One after the other, though, the sound of bark snapping followed by loud crashes echoes throughout the lost forest. What!? Okay, so that's definitely not her. Someone is chopping the trees down with reckless abandon.

Pfft, someone? The faerie doesn't even need to kid herself! Who else could it really be but Juno? Dummy! Doesn't she realize she's giving her own position away by doing that? Then it registers, perhaps a bit belatedly, that she's doing this all to search for her. (The passion might've been somewhat admirable if it wasn't so fucking terrifying.) The pirate's on a warpath now and she's not going to stop anytime soon. Yikes, yikes, yikes!

Lettie takes the cue for what it is and takes off in the opposite direction, moving as lightly on her feet as she possibly can.

"You! Halt!" One of the anglerfish cries out from behind. Damn. The faerie didn't even hear them coming up behind her... probably because they were flying. Ugh. That's another perk of her wings being intact... the element of surprise is so much easier to achieve when she doesn't have to worry about her footsteps!

Lettie gulps and decides to comply. No need to freak the freak out just yet. She has her brilliant disguise! "Yes, officer?" Batting her eyes, she coils the end of one of her braids around her fingers and gazes innocently at the terrifying anglerfish.

"We're looking for a couple 'a pink terrors. Think they landed somewhere around here. You seen 'em?" The anglerfish magics a wanted poster out for her to see... which depicts a picture of herself and Juju, staring at the lost forest in a stupor. Had to be taken just seconds after they arrived. (Except the chaos hadn't started until after that point... so why in the world...?) She squints and tilts her head as if she's trying hard to place them. Then she shakes her head in a slow 'no'. "Really? Damn! Could've sworn we had 'em."

"May I ask what they've done wrong?" Lettie asks politely. Sir Regis gave her the tip that they don't take well to rudeness... so, yeah! Gotta keep it classy.

"First it was just for parking their ship without a permit." The anglerfish sighed. Oh. "Now the grumpy one's ruining everyone's day, disturbin' the peace and the forest and... ugh, let me tell you missy, it's just a big mess!" Then they pause, looking at her for longer than she's comfortable with. "You know, you look strikingly similar to the weird puny one here. With the wings. In fact..."

Weird puny one!? Lettie puffs her cheeks out with annoyance, inclined to teach this jerk a little lesson on real manners... but she immediately loses the urge when they swim around, as if trying to get another glance at her wings. The faerie angles her body to keep them hidden. "...That's probably because I'm a clone."

"A... a what now?" The anglerfish sounds so confused. Lettie doesn't blame them. Oh stars, it's a terrible excuse.

That's when the ground shakes and the earth screams out with agony, as if to judge the faerie for all of her messy life decisions up to that point.

"Sorry... I'd love to chat but I gotta go! Byeeee!" Lettie uses the chaos as an excuse to take off in a totally random direction. (As she runs, she notices scrunched up faces forming in the bark of all the trees. Annoyed, agonized, as if waking crankily from a hundred-year nap. This does not bode well at all.) Her head spins, as does her sense of direction, and somehow she discovers that she's hurtling towards the heart of the shitstorm like a magnet the way she always does. And who else would be at the center of all of this but the fucking pirate!? Stopping a decent distance away, she places a hand against one of the trees in an attempt to get a clue as to what the forest is so obviously upset about. When she concentrates her magic like a stream, stories of the forest pass through her mind in flashes and she sighs with disapproval. Ah. Juju killed one of the forest's beloved children. Of course she did.

"Juju, what the fuck!?" Ready to fight on behalf of the scorned forest, Lettie throws every ounce of strength she has into tackling Juno from behind. "Are you trying to get us killed!?"

Yeah, probably! Because the forest seems to crack in the center at that moment, caving inward and sinking them down along with several of the trees. Oh. Stars. When Lettie's gaze pans up, she notices a fucking leviathan made purely of rock and moss swimming towards them, growling as they stretch their horrifying mouth open wide to swallow them both. "This is it." She breathes, aghast. "You mean, stupid pirate! We're totally gonna die now... are you fucking happy!?"

 

[starboob]

Shit. Fucking shit. Fucking hell! Really!? The forest fucking has feelings? What next––are the powers that be going to fucking start claiming that flesh eating pigeons have feelings too and need to be fucking respected? Because so far these faerie shenanigans have taught Juno that fucking snow has feelings as do evil circles and hairy elephants. Her review on discovering everything has fucking feelings is, unfortunately, cut short as she tries to keep herself balanced while the earth cracks at her feet and tree branches try to knock her down and get ahold of her. 'Goddess. Get the fuck over it you giant mass of fire fuel!' It's really too bad for everyone involved that Juno is Juno. That means she doesn't take the hint to stop cutting up the forest and as the branches all start attacking her––for no fucking reason, either! Like, trees fucking grow back (she's pretty sure)––she continues slashing through the wood appendages. Like hell she's letting some fucking plants kill her.

This would honestly be way fucking easier if she could just summon a few bone spikes to defend herself––if only she hadn’t fucking burned up back there creating her skeleton squad (she’s almost positive she felt one blow up?). Now she's gotta deal with her body raging against her, protesting against every movement; her arms burn so much she can feel it setting her bones on fire and yet, quitting just isn't an option. She's not dying in such an unremarkable way.

Or... maybe she is, because out of nowhere something hits her back and she topples face first into the dirt. It only takes her a second to recognize the faerie's figure pressed against her. (That she has nothing interesting to say about that speaks to her current rage.) “What the fuck!? You crazy bitch!” she snarls and goes to elbow Olivia in the ribs, “Get the fuck off! I’m only tryna kill you, bug!” She reaches behind herself, grasping around for one of those bitch ass wings she knows the faerie is so fond of—all’s she has to do it fucking rip one off and she’s a goner, right? Easy. Her fingers just brush against one of them; she struggles to curl her finger around it... 'Almost. Almost… THE—-'

Suffice to say that when the ground decides to be an unreliable useless piece of shit and collapses under them, sending them falling into some sunken crater in the earth, Juno does not manage to rip off the faerie’s wing. They land stacked on top of one another, Juno first and then Olivia. The pirate inhales sharply, refusing to acknowledge her possible broken bones because if she ignores them then the problem automatically goes away. She’s probably supposed to be radiating with pain. Also her definitely-not-broken-body might not be a concern for much longer given the giant beast staring at them hungrily. They’re going to die thanks to Olivia.

Alright, Juno really shouldn't try to do anything to defeat this creature––like, she knows she's pretty fucking skilled but she's also fucking out of magic. (Well, nearly out and that last little bit she needs to save for something good. Like killing the faerie before the stone guardian can.) Naturally, she turns her attention to her companion instead. "Are you fucking trying to blame this on me?!" She yells, incredulous, and apparently not caring about the 22 foot tall leviathan that looks pretty fucking pissed. (For reasons Juno cannot fathom.) "You fucking tackled me and knocked me fucking over! We're in this mess because of you, twerp."

The leviathan does not appreciate being ignored and wails, sending rubble raining down onto them. Then it thrashes its tail against the crater’s edge, sinking more of the forest. Alright. Alright, Juno gets the fucking point. She shakes the faeries off of her and then grabs her hand and runs––not that there are many fucking hiding places in a fucking crater, but it's better than being sitting roaches. "Get the cube, Olivia––" she starts, before pulling the faerie violently to the side just as the monster's tail lands dangerously close to them. "Get the fucking cube! Get it now!" She repeats, seriously not having the time of her life as she presses the faerie against the crater wall to shield her from a small avalanche of dirt. In her most diplomatic tone of voice, she yells, "I swear to fuck if you don't get that piece of shit to fucking activate and get us the hell out of here I'm never going to forgive you and I'm going to find your fucking spirit and beat the shit out of it for fucking eternity! Is that what you want!?”

 

[ellarose]

"Yeah, right! That scream totally implied otherwise! You totally just murdered one of the forest's children, Juno-- oof!" Lettie holds even tighter to the pirate in attempt to keep her on the ground, even when her elbow connects with her gut. Okay, ouch! Stars! She sinks her nails into her skin as payback and then tenses when she feels one of Juno's hands moving over her wing. Oh no you don't! (Ugh, rude! She would have said so too, but right now she had more important things to take care of. Like informing the resident homicidal asshole of just how catastrophically she just fucked up-- and reaffirming that this mess was truly all her fault!) "Do you know what that means!? It means you fucked up and that this is all your fault! The forest wants revenge because you were chopping trees down right and left like the boneheaded idiot you are!" Exactly! You tell her! The pretty little pep squad she invented in her head cheers her on. Listen. She needs it right now, okay? Especially considering the chances that she's going to die right now are really starting to bum her out.

Spite sparks in Lettie's stomach when she feels Juno's fingers curl around her wing... but before she can say or do anything about it, a crater opens up beneath them, dropping them and slamming her on top of the pirate once again. Geez, again? How many times has it been now? She's lost count. And she can't really focus on that, considering this time it sufficiently winds her after taking that harsh blow to her gut earlier (which still fucking aches, by the way!) She melts down against the pirate and hacks out a little cough of distress. Stars. It's really sinking in, isn't it? This is where her turbulent, disastrous life inevitably ended up taking her. Now she's going to die because of this mean, grumpy pirate in a lost forest of all places. Well. On the bright side, she supposes there are worse places to haunt for all eternity. Like, she's a faerie. This place will embrace her, take her side, and maybe even feel some sympathy the moment they realize she's just a victim who's been unfairly roped up into this whole mess! This whole mess that the delusional pirate is still trying to blame her for!

"Excuse me!? How dare you try to blame this entire fucking mess on me!? That leviathan obviously isn't pissed because I tackled you, Juju!" Lettie argues, also effectively ignoring the immediate danger as it screeches in their faces to make her (obviously right) point. Too bad she can't tell the leviathan that she and the pirate aren't in cahoots and that she, the innocent victim in this situation, does not deserve to die. "The forest isn't offended on your behalf! Like, it'd take a special kind of arrogance to believe that." Yeah! The kind of arrogance that the faerie herself didn't even possess! Pffft. And Juno thought she could get away with trying to call her 'top heavy' the night they met! Ha! She would laugh if they weren't going to die. Stars, they were totally going to die. At this point, she's just picking on the pirate in a panicked attempt to distract herself from this fact.

The ground shakes. The whole forest is breaking, screaming. The leviathan is screaming, too. It's going to hurt, isn't it? Getting torn apart. Turning to dust in the creature's jaws.

Lettie's close to spiraling like this, mentally preparing herself for death when Juno takes her hand and yanks her off the ground-- also effectively yanking her out of whatever fucking trance she's in.

The faerie blinks, finding that her world is still spinning, but makes an effort to focus on the present moment... as much as she doesn't want to be there. Obviously neither of them do!

"Oh... hoo no." Lettie snaps back into herself now that the pirate's yelling at her again. Although she's not going to admit it, she's thankful for the distraction and clings to it like a lifeline. "Not if my spirit finds your spirit first, bitch! My spirit's totally gonna pummel your spirit if we don't-- ugh, right. The cube! Of course." Because obviously they won't make it out alive if she doesn't take the cube out first! With a sigh permeated by a mix of defeat and annoyance, she traces the glyph and reaches for the cube. It's not glowing. It's just... just a fucking cube. A fucking cube that all of their hopes for survival rest upon. "Alright, cube! Do your thing." She puffs her cheeks and waits on it expectantly. Heh. Clearly she doesn't know what the hell she's going. Come on. Come on! Maybe if she's extra nice? This world is receptive to politeness, after all. "...Please?"

Lettie stumbles as the ground shakes violently, unintentionally catching herself on Juno's arm. She hugs onto it tightly (again, unintentionally!) and shrieks when the leviathan charges right for them, stretching their mouth open wide to eat them--

Just before it closes over them the cube burns up, spews out that blinding light and-- blip!

 

[starboob]

"Oh my fucking goddess," Juno breathes out in complete and utter disbelief. "You really don't have a fucking clue of what you're doing with that thing, do you!?" Yeah, disappointed and not surprised, all that crap, but the pirate sort of thought the faerie might have known something about activating that piece of shit! Since, you know, it's her little death box. "We're going to die because you're fucking incompetent litt––"

'Here we go again...'

This Time Juno shuts her eyes hard and presses the heels of her palms back against her eyes to keep out that hellish light. As the current world burns up around them, they are spun and tossed through that interim space and then spit out somewhere new. For once the faerie doesn't land on top of the pirate. The pirate lands on top of the faerie. She realizes that fairly (faeriely) quickly when she removes her hands from her eyes and sees Olivia crushed beneath her. This is, uh, a new angle and it’s messing with her core processors so much so that her brain takes a while to boot up––in fact, it might still be on that last world they were on. It even gets stuck on a cycle of, 'Girl body...' Thankfully, her brain comes online a few cycles later and she springs up from the ground. “What the fuck! Why the fuck does your cube always do that??” she grumbles and then dashes over to swoop up the discarded cube. Goddess, it still reeks of death and, if the necromancer isn’t mistaken (she isn’t), it feels even stronger than before. The energy wrap wraps around her head like a rubber band, applying a light pressure against her skull. It’s a bit dizzying, but she ignores that. Now that she has the cube, this is going to make the faerie’s life quite fucking interesting. The totally not homicidal grin on her face says as much.

Using her height to her advantage, she holds the blasted object high above her head. "Well, it's been a real fucking pleasure working with ya, bug, but I'm just go ahead and take off." Although, when she looks around to pick a direction a few things come to light. One, they are back on her airship (weird, because Juno distinctly remembers not being on the airship before) and two, even though this planet is certifiably shitty, it's still not Juno's shitty home planet. The air is thick with brimstone and while it's a different scent of disgusting than Juno’s home planet, it has a familiar level of shittiness that she immediately feels grounded in. Even looking around and seeing the blazing hell skies and field of pluming volcanoes doesn't seem to strike fear or worry within the pirate. Unlike ice world, volcano world at least seems to have a population of more than lava (please don't fucking tell her that lava has fucking feelings and is also fucking sentient) seeing as there is an ill-placed volcanic village some miles away. Alright, well, it's not home but it's as good as any other so if she can't actually make it back to her own, this seems as good as place as any to ditch the fucking faerie. Yeah, she'll just toss the faerie overboard like she should have done the first time and then, uh, figure out the cube herself. (It's riddled with death, so clearly, there's got to be a way for a necromancer like her to figure it out.)

However, just as she's making her menacing approach over to the universe's most useless bitch ever, still holding the cube high above her head, she once again catches sight of her pink fucking clothes. (No, she doesn't need the faerie to change her clothes back to black. She has plenty of other black clothes to change into––it's just that she notices, when she looks down, that her pink fucking muscle tee, pink fucking pants, pink fucking boots, etc. have all transformed into... pink fucking leather armor?) Her eyes snap back to the faerie, "Really? I'm about to fucking throw your ass overboard and you fucking change my clothes again? Real fucking funny," she rolls her eyes. Whatever. Her annoyance will be over soon and she'll be able to get rid of the pastel disaster magnetic (okay, she swears her hair was a different fucking color earlier) and return to her normal fucking pirate life. Yo-ho 'n shit.

What a pipe dream that must have been, because the goddess immediately spits in her face a second later by sending a fucking vulture (or an approximation of one as it seems to be a mixture of vulture and lizard) swoops down from the sky and grabs the cube from Juno's raised hand. 'Ah, shit.' She watches, completely numb to her life becoming more and more of a complete and utter shitshow, as the bird disappears into the ash clouds above. "I fucking hate you, I hope you know," she seethes at the faerie, unable to take her frustrations out on anyone else. This is obviously Olivia's fucking fault anyway. "Less than a full fucking week of being stuck with you and I fucking hate you. I fucking wonder how your mom put up with your fucking shit."

 

[ellarose]

“Obviously not! If I knew how it worked I wouldn’t have landed on your stupid ship in the first place!” Honestly? Lettie's been more or less prepared to defend her inexperience (not incompetence-- there's a difference!) with the cube for days now. So now that she's in this position, she defends herself fiercely. Although the adrenaline could very well be coming from the place in her that's terrified that the moment of her death is literal seconds away now as the leviathan approaches. Stars. She's going to die. She's going to die because this homicidal asshole just couldn't let her have one nice thing by letting her soar away to safety on Sir Regis's back! "I would've escaped by now! I wouldn't be... wouldn't be..." Her eyes burn with unshed tears and then with the cube's brilliant light. A gravitational force picks her up, the whiplash pounds her head and--

Lettie blacks out temporarily. Again. Urgh. But yeah, okay. Her whole entire body hurts way too much for her to be dead or dust right now. Seems like she landed on the ground, smooshed under something-- or rather someone-- that presses her up against a surface that's much too hard to be a soft forest floor. Her broken wing sings out with pain and it's the only sound she can hear, along with the fizzy ringing in her ears. Before long the pressure alleviates and she grumbles softly under her breath, slowly coming to. Who...?

Oh. Well, fucking duh! Who else in the worlds but Juno could've landed on top of her? All it takes is one of those signature 'what the fucks' for everything to click into place. And then she also says something about the cube? ...The cube.

The cube! Lettie jolts upright and smacks her palms on the deck, feeling around for it. But when she looks up, she quickly realizes that it's too late. Her one and only lifeline in all of the worlds is now dangling above her head. In the pirate's grasp no less. She swears her heart stopped. Like, it genuinely surprises her that she's not bursting into a cloud of faerie dust right now because she's doomed. She's fucked!

"Hey! That's mine!" Lettie knows it's pretty pointless (and utterly humiliating) but she jumps up and down to reach for the cube regardless. Desperate times, desperate measures and all. Yadda yadda. "I swear, if my wing ever heals I'm totally gonna steal your fucking--" The rest of her threat dissipates as she realizes that Juno's surveying their new surroundings and takes a second to do the same. It's so ashy and hot. This air is practically unbreathable compared to the forest and she already knows that she doesn't want this to be her new home. No way! (...Also, question. Why did the cube take the pirate's ship along with them? That's definitely something worth noting. But she'll have to think about that phenomenon some other time. Like when there are less pressing matters to think about.) She needs to get the cube back.

"What? That wasn't me! When would I have had the time to..." Lettie scoffs, recognizing Juno's outfit now that she's mentioning it. Suddenly her list of priorities changes from the cube to assessing her own outfit first. Huh. Weird. The faerie seems to be wearing armor as well. It's white, as that'd been the color of the shirt that Marjorie had stolen from the pirate's closet for her. Although she wants to make some adjustments to her new attire (the white knight isn't her role, thanks!) her attention is snapped away from her clothes when she sees the lizard-vulture hybrid thing snap the cube out of the pirate's hand. Seriously!? Juno, with her big stupid muscles, couldn't find it in her to put up more of a fight than that!? And now, surprise, she's blaming all of this on her again!

“Unbelievable. You’re the one who handed the cube over to that lizard vulture like a total dumbass!” Lettie holds a hand up over her head to mock Juno’s stance holding the cube just seconds ago. Then she brings her voice down a few octaves to mock her voice as well. “Like, there you go buddy! It's right here! Come and take it off my hands for me!” Then she crosses her arms expectantly. The pirate's got to acknowledge that she's the one who fucked up this time. Right? But... no. That's hoping for way too much, isn't it?

Instead, Juno decides to inform her that she hates her. Yeah-- as if that isn't already blatantly obvious!

“Yeah? Well, cry me a river Juju. Because guess what? I don’t fucking care! You’re not the first to hate me and you certainly won’t be the last!” Lettie means what she says when she says she doesn’t care. At the very least she means it up until the moment Juju brings her mother into this. Fuck. After that shit with Mammy, even she wouldn't have sunk as low as to bring 'mommy issues' into this. It's a low blow. A fucking personal blow! Her light flickers a little as it strikes the chord it probably intended to and she quickly swivels herself away to keep the pirate from seeing the full extent of her reaction. Get it together, Letts.

Lettie presses down on the tidal wave of self-hatred before it can overwhelm her. Determined to focus on literally anything else, she immediately changes her armor to a sleek black and her hair to a dark shade of red with a dramatic flair. Pulling her locks free of the twin braids, she flips it around her shoulders like a model. There. At least now she looks leagues more badass than Juju could ever hope to be while clad in that shade of pastel pink that clashes with the edgy aesthetic she has going on. I might have issues but at least I look better than you! Like, she’s got to have something going for her in this mess. If looking hot is her only option, then so be it baby!

With an appropriately sassy 'hmph', the faerie shoves her way past the pirate and rushes towards the railing. Squinting out, Lettie can just make out the underside of a levitating stone nearby. When the clouds shift, she realizes that there are a ton of them, creating a staircase of sorts that leads up into the sky. (Ah ha! It's relatively close enough to where that creature disappeared to with the cube, too.) While it seems like a dangerous route to take with a broken wing, it's really the only option she's got at this point. Welp. There's one below. If she times this just right...

Here goes!

"Later, asshole!" Lettie winks and jumps overboard, holding in the scream she wants to unleash on the inside as she falls through the air and hits her intended mark with an ungraceful 'oof'. Bringing herself to her feet, she quickly reaches for the ledge of the next one to ascend towards whatever is waiting for her up above.

 

[starboob]

Honestly, Juno wants the cube only because the faerie is going after it. She could easily clean her hands of the disaster magnet, the death box, and enjoy the sweet, sweet sight of watching her climb further and further into the atmosphere. (With any luck, Juno might even get the chance to watch her fall to her death because she miscalculated a jump. Ah, wouldn't that be a happily ever after to this little chapter in the pirate's weird life? It would be and so Juno knows it won't happen. If she wants that outcome, she'll have to carve it out herself.) The pirate, unfortunately, is now personally invested in making sure the faerie's life a living hell (instead of just doing the wise thing and fucking off). There's just no fucking way she's gonna let a little fucking faerie get the last jab in––leaving her looking like an inflamed cyst while she runs off looking like a fucking badass. (Totally fucking stealing her look, too, but the pirate is not going to point that out.) Olivia has got it seriously twisted if she's forgotten that the pirate is the captain fucking Juno and she always fucking wins.

And the thing is, Juno has an airship. Getting Lady to soar into the sky and bypass the floating rock staircase is a no brainer, obviously. The faerie will never be able to beat the trusty pirate ship. This is incredibly, incredibly obvious. So against all better judgment, perhaps hubris or perhaps forgetting all sense of logic, Juno follows Olivia’s lead and jumps onto one of the floating rocks. (Though, deep, deep down, for some fucking reason, the pirate has to prove that she’s better than the faerie in every way possible and can totally beat her in a hellish obstacle course run without the aid of her ship. That’s really what motivates her behavior, even if not wise given her earlier exertion and that she is fucking tired. Though this is also not something she will acknowledge.)

Despite the fact that she should easily be passed out on the floor of her ship right now, imagining the look on the fucking faerie’s face when she eventually closes her fist around the cube and then tosses it into one of the many lava pits below keeps her going. That look ought to be fucking priceless. The memory will surely be enough to keep Juno happy for the next decade whenever she needs a little pick me up.

Even with the stakes raised so high––like, outside of racing the faerie, there’s the fact that lava pits are bubbling hungrily below them––she doesn’t seem to be nervous and there’s a surprising amount of grace and fluidity in the way the pirate jumps from stone to stone and pulls herself up. There are enough rocks around them that she doesn't have to vie for the ones that the faerie might be aiming towards. That is to say, she totally goes for them and also attempts to kick as many away as possible to sabotage the other's ascent. "Oops, my bad, princess!" The 'not' goes without saying even if Juno hadn't snickered afterwards.

Though karma is a serious bitch. Almost a bigger bitch than the goddess herself and even acts twice as quick. As the pirate is getting ready to jump from one step to the next, the rock beneath her feet begins to shake, like it's about to give out. Panic sets into the pirate’s heart. There’s only one fucking outcome if she doesn’t move. Automatically, she grabs her whip and snaps it outwards towards the nearest (stable) rock while the one below her cracks, breaks apart, and crumbles over the village below her. "You fucking bitch!" Juno shouts, both at the traitor rock and the faerie, "Are you trying to fucking kill me?!" (No, don't point out the irony of that question. Juno doesn’t see it.)

While it is much easier to blame the faerie for everything wrong in her life, this is very clearly not her doing. While Juno dangles and struggles from the rock she managed to latch onto, more and more of the steps start to shake. When some crack, they hiss out and shriek, releasing noxious steam from the violent ruptures––others just straight up burst into flames. (Fuck, and there's no telling whether or not Juno's rock is going to be a little shit. 'Fuck, fuck, fuck!') The ash cloud swirls tightly above their heads, too, getting denser and darker until it's nearly pitch black. Two bright neon eyes blink open in the center of the cloud. Then another pair opens. And another. And another, until about dozen pairs of eyes are all staring down at the pirate and faerie. The movement of the smoke somewhat obfuscates the sentient ash cloud's features, but the crescent moon smile that splits the cloud is undeniable. "To cross the threshold of Dominia a flesh sacrifice is required. Only one may pass. Who shall the guardian feast upon, mortals?”

 

[ellarose]

"You have a fucking ship! What are you doing!?" Lettie yelps incredulously, barely catching ahold of the next rock in her path when none other than Juno shoves into her way and starts doing what she does best. Wreaking havoc, that is. With a grunt, she pulls herself up and rests flat on her stomach for a moment to catch her breath. Oof. She watches in growing dismay as the next rock she intends to reach for is kicked further away, making her life tremendously harder. 'My bad, princess!' The faerie's too winded from her almost fall into lava to shout a 'fuck you' right back. Stars! Admittedly, she hadn't expected engaging in an extreme full-body workout today. She's never had to resort to climbing like this before because, well... she's a faerie! Duh! Normally she has wings to rely on! Her broken wing twitches as she stares longingly at the ashy sky above. (Wouldn't it have been nice, to stick her tongue out and elegantly bypass the irritating pirate and this whole obstacle course?) Aside from that, though-- seriously? What does Juju have to gain from being such an asshole!? Does the hatred really run this deep? (Well, when she accounts for hatred and rage, these actions (while childish) are considerably less surprising.) But also-- shouldn't she be at her limit by now or something? After climbing various fish like a jungle gym, mind-controlling a whale, chopping down trees and angering an ancient forest enough to send a leviathan after them!? And scaling this staircase is laborious enough. It's kind of scary, really, how the pirate manages to scale these floating rocks with grace. Scary and sort of ho-- (not hot) hoo no, just how strong is she? The word 'hot' is clearly floating around in her mind because she's so heated that Juno's going this far specifically to torture her. Also... it feels like the rock she's clinging to now is getting hotter now as well?

That's about the moment when the rocks around them start trembling, or falling, or combusting into flames. Yikes! When the one she's on begins to glow a faint orange, practically burning through the soles of her boots, she gasps and lunges to another just before it bursts into flames. Whew. Too close. Way too close!

Lettie flips her hair, grits her teeth, and prepares to continue her climb with laser focus. (That's the one thing she still has going for her, right? When the rest of the world fails her miserably, she can take solace in the fact that she's still the hottest one present. The only way Juno's going to take that title away from her is if she falls into the lava below... and that wouldn't be so bad, would it?) Perhaps one of the most unfathomable things about Juno following her is the fact that she hadn't even bothered changing out of that pink armor getup. Somehow, her mocking smirks don't land quite as hard while she's still decked out in a color that clashes so obviously with her rotten personality.

"Like, you didn't even change your clothes first! You wanted to follow me so bad that you couldn't even do that, huh?" Lettie sighs, "Now that you've met me, I guess you truly have no idea how you'd ever get on without me."

Lettie giggles while she watches Juno land on a trembling rock... which then breaks into pieces. Sure, she saves herself from a descent into lava with that whip of hers... but it doesn't erase the fact that it's fucking funny!

"In case you haven't noticed, the rocks can't talk Juju." Lettie sasses, refusing to acknowledge that the pirate could very well be blaming all of her missteps in life on her (because what else is new!?) and instead decides to accept the narrative that she's so far gone now that she's finally resorted to screaming at something that couldn't snap back with a witty comeback. Even then, one can never be too careful when traveling across the worlds. Especially considering how the forest fiasco had gone earlier. These rocks may very well be listening in on them for all she knows. If that is the case, she needs to make a conscious effort to stay in their good graces. "But if they did I'm sure they wouldn't appreciate you calling them bitches! That's not very nice."

Lettie continues to climb, solely focused on picking the most reliable rocks (the ones that didn't shake or take an orange hue, as she'd begun to figure out) that she doesn't notice the sky until she finds herself standing on the same rock as Juno. Ah. Now the sky is sentient. That's great. Sweat beads at her temple. But if they're negotiating, this truly is her time to shine.

"Aw. Did you come all this way just to be my ticket in, Juno? That's so sweet of you!" Lettie gestures grandly to the pirate. "Captain cupcake here is going to be your flesh sacrifice!"

Lettie stares boldly up at the sky guardian, refusing to flinch away now. "I'm a faerie. That means I'll just turn into dust when I die... so I clearly wouldn't qualify as what you'd consider a 'flesh sacrifice'." Lettie curls her fingers into quotes around the term. "And just look at her! She's way taller, so obviously she's got more flesh for you to feast upon."

"Hmmm." The sky being's voice rumbles all of the rocks down below. A big, ashy hand lowers towards them, unfurling to invite one of them inside. "Are you ready to ascend, captain cupcake?"

Lettie snorts and hides her mouth behind her hand before she can burst into laughter. "Well if that's settled, then I'll just..." She crouches down in preparation to lunge to the next available rock.

 

[starboob]

Ah, shit. Dangling from her whip, hanging hundreds of feet above hungry pits of lava, is so not the situation that she wants to be in. (Surprisingly, despite being a pirate on an airship, the number of times she's been caught dangling from a dangerous point of elevation is surprisingly low. In fact, she can count on one hand how many times this has happened to her and it doesn't get any less terrifying with experience!) Despite her pulse throbbing against her neck like it wants to escape and take her entire circulatory system with it, she knows that panic in any life threatening situation is ill-advised. So she focuses on her breath. (In. Out. In. Out.) Then she concentrates on the cables in her back, connecting to her biceps, as she contracts the muscles to climb up her whip-rope before finally pulling herself up onto the wobbly platform. That, admittedly, took more out of her than she anticipated (probably because she had been running on fumes to begin with) and while tempted to take a moment to lay on her back and breathe, there just doesn't seem to be the time for that. (Partly because Juno refuses to show the faerie that she's hold onto mere strands and partly because of the giant evil cloud in the sky. Ugh. Apparently, this is just her fucking life now.) With sweat dripping from her brow, mixed with some of the blood from earlier and soot, she wipes her forehead with the back of her hand then pushes her hair out of her face––thankfully, her hair stays in place providing some temporary relief from her overheated system. Fucking finally. She can start thinking again and, you know, now she can figure out a way to throw––

Right. Casting an all too familiar glare towards her sworn enemy, she grits her teeth together as the faerie tries to play this off like she's supposed to be eaten by a possessed cloud. 'Hell fucking no, bitch.' Though what really sends the pirate captain over the edge? That the volcanic cloud is addressing her, captain fucking Juno, as captain. Cupcake. Thanks to the fucking faerie. Oh, ho, ho! 'You're dead fucking dust, faerie.' The pirate reaches down for the collar of the faerie's armor and pulls her up from her launch position, a bright smile shining on her face towards the guardian. "Ah, don't be so fucking modest, Oleander!" the pirate chuckles, "I fuckin' tell you, traveling with this one is such a riot. Always going off about how she'll burst to ash when she dies. Well, she's full of shit and doesn't want you to know how fucking sought after faerie flesh is––been trying to sell her off for weeks for a fair price on the market, but she's rather wiley. But gaining access to Dominos," by that she means Dominia, "seems real fucking worth it. So I'm willing to part with such a prize." Eh, her performance could use some fucking work, but she figures it's enough to get the job done. Enough that she can toss the faerie into that ash hand and continue hopping up the steps. (...Or, well, she supposes not. If the faerie is going to get fucking sacrificed then what does Juno care about the cube? It's a rather useless death object and this planet doesn't seem too fucking terrible. A little hot, but whatever, so long as she can continue her peaceful life of piracy, that's all she really fucking needs.)

The guardian, however, is unimpressed with the disagreement between who makes for a better sacrifice. It sighs a mighty sigh (enough that Juno has to adjust her stance so as to not get knocked off balance) and it's several pairs of eyes all roll, as if this happens all too often. "You mortals become more pathetic with each generation. Gone are the days of women fighting to be sacrificed, now you lot all fight over who should not be sacrificed. I am displeased," it concludes, giving the effect that the pair have majorly fucked up. Lightning begins to flash through the cloud, followed by the head splitting thunder seconds later. Yikes. "The gates of Dominia are closed to you unworthy scoundrels and now you both shall perish." The guardian does not elaborate on what it means (and really, does it need to?). The yellow eyes all blink closed and the tight density of ash in the sky starts to disperse, though the lightning and thunder remain.

"I think," Juno starts, continuing their earlier conversation as if it's nothing, "I would get on just fucking fine with you. At least, I'd probably have a longer fucking life expectancy without you fucking up all my plans. You couldn't just do the noble thing and sacrifice yourself? I can't fucking imagine you have anything going on for you that you need to be alive so bad. At least I have a fucking pirate ship and a crew who fucking relies on me. What do you have? A broken fucking box and wing? Yeah, nobody fucking needs that."

She'd continue with her little diatribe except for the fact that their little obstacle course keeps on fucking changing. The new addition this time? Lava geysers, because of fucking course there are lava fucking geysers. That's just what Juno fucking needed to complicate this fucking mess. Okay. (She's fucking changed her mind about wanting to settle down on this hellhole, by the way.) "Goddess, do you have a fucking off switch on the fucking chaos you cause? Like, fuck, I'm just asking for five fucking minutes here, Ollie." This is going to complicate getting to that fucking lizard vulture. More so than the rains of fire. (Nevermind the guardian's warning that the path is now closed to them. Juno either forgot or is going to defy the guardian outright.) She rifles her hand through her hair once more, squinting at the rock path ahead and how the geysers seem to be following some sort of pattern though she doesn't yet know what it is. Eh. Probably not important.

The pirate makes to launch off the current platform, but as she does so a geyser from down below slams into the underside of the rock, sending it and everyone on top skyrocketing into the sky.

 

[ellarose]

"Hey!" Lettie gives an affronted gasp, puffing her cheeks out as the other woman plucks her up like she's nothing more than a doll. Dangling, she throws countless kicks and punches at Juno that that do little more than land on air as the pirate decides to make her own case. A case which is complete and utter blasphemy! Blasphemy she'll tell you! All except for the part where she's a prize, because hell yeah she is! But she's not the kind of prize that can be won, all right? Look but don't fucking touch! (And she'd have said all of this too, if only because on some level she's always wanted to yell 'blasphemy' before some larger than life supernatural entity... but then they roll their eyes and she decidedly keeps her mouth shut and awaits her fate with baited breath. Eye-rolling says they're skeptical, right? So maybe that's a good thing! Maybe they'll agree that it's blasphemy, that her claims are the honest to goodness truth and...) But no. No, that'd just be too convenient, wouldn't it be? And now it spouts some utter bullshit about how women are supposed to be clamoring to be sacrificed or some shit. Ugh. Those old fashioned ideals are so lame! They should've died a long time ago.

"Oh boo-fucking-hoo, did we offend your fragile sensibilities? So what if women are fighting for their survival now!? Hell yeah we are! That's what we deserve!" Lettie shouts at the sky guardian, going as far as to flip it as the bird (only after it disappears, that is) so caught up in her rage at the cloud that she almost forgets that she's supposed to be pissed at Juju too. "Get with the times, gramps! I can't wait to see the look on your face when two women break into Dominia and kick your ass!" She can clearly go at this for a while. Hell, she doesn't hear the ominous threat the ash-hole left behind with the blood rushing in her ears. "Women are beautiful and deserve so much better than smoky trash deities like you!"

Lettie fumes hotter than the lava down below as she pivots her attention to Juno, who decides to chime in.

"Aw, I'm heartbroken. Do you really think that, Juju? 'Cause if so, then why the hell did you follow me out here in the first place!? You could've let me be a long time ago." Lettie puffs her cheeks again. She's been doing that a lot lately. "And fuck off with that sacrifice is noble crap. Fuck that!"

It's the worst! It's the worst and the faerie doesn't want to think about it anymore. The smoke, the ash, the fiery color of the lava burbling down below. It's almost too much. If all of this works its way into her head, she's going to start thinking about... ugh. It sinks her spirits so low that she can't even begin to compile a long, long list of all of her wonderful, attractive qualities for Juju here when she asks for it.

Nope! No more. Lettie turns her hair a near-black shade of blue on a whim as if to wipe the flame-red color from her mind. That's about the same time that the geysers start popping rocks into the air like skyrocketing champagne corks. "No. Sorry, cupcake. Chaos is my speciality." The faerie decides to humor the narrative she knows she'll never shake, going as far as to wink and smirk. And then, as if the universe wants to prove her right, the geyser shoots them into the sky. "Oh stars--!"

Sailing through the air is intrinsically different while her wing is broken. The light, joyous feeling she typically feels in flight is replaced with a sharp, vicious fear. Because this isn't flying. This is falling to her death! Tears prick at her eyes as the winds roar in her ears and whip her hair around her face. Wherever she lands, she's just going to smash into a pile of dust. That's it! The only solace she can take is that the pirate's going down with her. That's what she gets for fucking following her out here!

That, of course, is when Lettie notices the flying lizard in her peripheral. The flying lizard who stole her cube, in other words. Shifting her weight in midair, she tries her best to use her one functioning wing to steer her in the right direction... she reaches out, out... and yes! Finally catches the end of its tail! "Aha!" To gloat, she starts to wave goodbye at the pirate-- but the gesture is cut short when the lizard takes a sharp turn and she has to hold on with both hands to keep herself from being shaken off. She hugs tight to it and begins to slowly climb her way down its body. "Bye Juju! I'll gladly be out of your hair soon enough!"

 

[starboob]

Were it not for the fucking elements hellbent on throttling them, Juno would have her fingers wrapped around the faerie's throat like snakes. Of course, this is not anything new. Neither is getting tossed up into the air with little to no warning, all things considered. This is just the pirate's life now, she guesses, but that doesn't mean she has come to accept it or gotten anymore used to it. No, if anything she is more resistant than ever to all the rapid-fire changes that are dominating her life. Meaning, she's more pissed off than ever before even if her primary concern should be focused on making sure she lands on one of those dancing fucking rocks. Instead, she's fuming. The wind whips around her as she free falls; butterflies that might have existed in any ordinary person have long since been choked out, but that doesn't mean her remaining adrenaline reserves are not flooding her system. Despite that, her stormy eyes are surprisingly clear as she works to find an appropriate spot to land.

Just as she is about to turn her body into an arrow and aim for a platform that appears stable, the faerie is saying her goodbyes. 'I think the fuck not!' (Again, against all better judgment the pirate is hellbent on making Ollie suffer. Naturally, that means she has to follow her. She has to secure that stupid cube just so that she can fucking watch the woman's world burn once Juno tosses it into the piping hot magma. Will it make Juno feel better about her life? Probably not. But will it make her feel worse? Definitely not. In fact, it seems like there is a high chance that she will experience a temporary morale boost from it.) Without wings or even proper clothing to help her change direction in midair, she does struggle forcing her way over to the lizard bird but eventually she manages to catch Ollie's ankle with a bruising grip. "You little chameleon fucker––I'm not giving up that fucking easily!" (Okay, but literally no one is challenging the pirate to stick with the faerie. Nor is anyone demanding that she stay with her. For all the complaining the pirate does about the other woman, she is the one doing this to herself––not that Juno will ever realize this or acknowledge such.) On some level, the faerie's determination to escape is as admirable as the pirate's determination to make her life miserable.

Anyway, if the lizard-bird didn't like having one passenger clinging to its tail, it certainly does not appreciate two. It thrashes against the two weights––soaring high up into the air in one moment and then nose diving a second later. It swings them towards obsidian glass cliffs, dangles them above the rivers of lava, and despite all of that Juno's grip remains vice like on Ollie's ankle. "Don't you dare fucking let go, you piece of shit!" she shouts, clinging tighter to the faerie since her life literally depends on it.

Ah, but it would seem that Juno should have heeded her own advice because not even a minute later her grip starts to slip with the sheens and sheens of sweat coating her body. "Fuck, fuck, fuck," she mutters, struggling to get a better grip and with one last thrash of the lizard's tail, the pirate is sent sailing through the sky and is on a downward trajectory towards...

Well, the faerie will probably never know where the pirate is sent as the lizard lifts them both high above into the ashy clouds. When they break through the thick grey fog, an entire floating city is revealed with lava rivers connecting different 'islands' together; there are even lava-falls that flow up and down between the surface and the island paradise. The skies are still dark and glowing, the air is still unbearably hot and sulfurous, but the city that exists above the ground? It's a black glass metropolis. Rings of fire encircle some of the highest towers like halos. There are buildings that are destroyed and remade within a matter of seconds––

But that is not where the lizard bird is taking Olette. Instead, they take her to a floating mountain and dive into the mouth of a cave. The cave walls are covered in lava veins that provide ample lighting for a space that would otherwise be dark. Stalactites hang dangerously above from the ceiling while the stalagmites are mostly covered by treasure. (Well, treasure being a relative term as some of the objects do appear to be junk, but there are jewels, ominous golden idols, and––) The cube sits neatly on top of a pile of shiny coins and candy wrappers.

Of course, that discovery is also made in the same breath that the cave begins to shake sending dust raining down from the ceiling. The piles and piles of treasure start to collapse as a gargantuan arm punches through one pile. Then another follows. The arms push themselves up, revealing a giant... centipede woman? She appears to have the torso of a woman, covered only by her hair, and an elongated lower half that has a centipede-esque look. The lizard bird, having flung the faerie into some pile of velvet robes, lands on the giant woman-centipede's shoulder. The woman (?) pets the bird affectionately. "What have you brought me this time, Albert?" Her voice is deep and silken, almost powerful enough to lull one into slumber with how soothing it is. "Oh, a straggler? Trying to steal my treasure? Tut, tut." She sighs, and her ruby red eyes shift over to the faerie. "That's rather rude, you know. I worked hard to build up my reserve of shinies and now you think you can just steal them? Ah! You even injured Albert's tail. Have you no manners? Who raised you? Gutter rats?"

 

[ellarose]

Lettie breathes out a long, shaky sigh of something that almost qualifies as relief as she sinks safely into the pile of velvet robes. (Although she 'safely' may be interpreted with a reasonable amount of reluctance.) She just needs a sec to catch her breath. A few seconds and then she'll get up and adjust herself accordingly to respond to whatever mess is undoubtedly waiting for her this time around. The solid, soft texture of the robes pressed against her pounding heartbeat serves as a reminder that she lived to see the next five minutes at the very least. Unlike that homicidal jerk Juno-- rest in pieces-- who let go of her ankle and plunged down, down, down into the ashy clouds below. If karma exists, then she assumes that it finally decided to wake the fuck up and make a long awaited entrance. Finally. And now the faerie isn't particularly inclined to wonder what became of her. Like, good riddance! If anything, that's one less variable around that's going to needlessly threaten her life in worlds full of things that are trying to do the very same thing. Speaking of which, she's got to pull herself the hell together before she catches the eye of her next inevitable enemy. It's written in the stars at this point that once she vanquishes one foe, another must make an appearance. Like her life is some kind of fighting arcade game.

Because Lettie's never allowed catch a fucking break.

Lettie sees the asshole cube, resting on a pile of sparkling coins like it's a throne. Pretentiously looking down on her. Mocking her endless struggles. But she needs the little fucker to survive, so... rattle, rattle. Before she can even consider racing over to snatch it up, however, the piles of treasure (although there's only a small portion of it she's consider actual 'treasure', as a lot of it consists of wrappers and trash) begin to collapse as the horrifying arms burst through them and the centipede lady makes her entrance. The cube slides down, somersaulting into some other heap. Because, let her reiterate, she can never catch a fucking break.

"Oh. Excuse me... madam." Lettie manages, summoning as much politeness as her thinning patience allows for. She steeples her fingers and puts on a smile designed to charm. "Let me explain. Albert-- excellent name by the way-- totally stole that cube from a raging, homicidal pirate who stole it from me. I don't mean to steal from you." But of course not! "I'm here to clear up this misunderstanding."

Geez. This is a losing battle, isn't it? Someone who accumulates this much stolen junk isn't gonna be inclined to part with it so easily. The trophy of the heist, blah blah. The faerie gets it, she really does. (Even so, she's never been a hoarder. Not on a scale this disgusting.) Lettie sighs. She'll steal it back if she has to-- don't even fucking test her-- but before she resorts to that she ought to give the conversational approach a fair shot. "I won't spit on your efforts, though. You guys have got a great system going here. And I wouldn't want to trouble you without a reward for your time. Instead of turning on each other, what if I proposed a fair trade instead?" Lettie opens her dimensional purse and reaches for her pack of starlight gum. Taking a single piece, gleaming bright in the silver wrapper, she wags it temptingly in the air. "I take it you're a fan of candy?"

***

"Heave ho! Heave ho!" A group of tiny, clay-like people chanted as they worked together like a bunch of ants stealing a loaf of bread from a picnic to lift and carry the fallen, pink armored woman from the portion of the obsidian town she crushed. "Heave ho! Heave ho!"

They were making slow by steady progress towards the edge of the floating isle their village, preparing to chuck the source of this unforeseen devastation into the lava down below. At least that seems to be their intent until a big boot stomps down in their path, effectively throwing off their rhythm. "Heave-- whoa!" One after the other, they stumbled into each other and collapse like dominos, dropping the pirate unceremoniously onto the ground.

The man who interfered ignores the infuriated shoutings of the tiny people as he lowers his pistol and nudges Juno's face back and forth with it. Then he tries jostling her with his boot. The tiny people disperse in several different directions with a huff. It's hard to say whether they're throwing up their arms and giving up or if they're going to regroup and change their strategy.

"Hey you. Pinkie. Wake up!" His voice is gruff as he tugs on his black cowboy hat. He chews on the toothpick in his mouth and then spits it over the side of the floating city. "You don't look like you belong in these parts, so I was thinkin' you could help me out."

If Juno's coming to at this point, she may not be inclined to help some random stranger. The man must consider this, however, because he reaches into his long coat and thrusts a photograph of a faerie in her face. (This one has white hair, but based on her features it's unmistakably the one and only faerie she knows in all the worlds. Olivia? Olympia? Ollie? Yeah, her.)

"I'm looking for this faerie here. She's real flashy. Hard to miss. You know where to find her?"

 

[starboob]

For a brief moment Juno feels something close to a normal human feeling––she almost feels empathy for the faerie. When her back collides with what feels like a bed of nails, a constellation of stabbing pain explodes across her back, electrifying everything from the tips of her fingers down to her toes. (Is that what it fucking felt like when Ollie landed on her fucking ship?) Her vision is knocked out of her and all she can see is bright, bright spots of white against the orange glow of the atmosphere before shadows grip her mind and pull her under, promising her peace and comfort if she goes along with them. Between a world of pain and one that seems as soothing as an ocean, she chooses to go into the dark. (Well, it's also not like she has much of choice, either. Stubborn as she is, she is still dreadfully human and with that comes limits and she (should have) reached hers when she took over that whale one world ago.) Along with her consciousness, her empathy fades away too.

When the pirate starts to come to again, maybe ten minutes to an eternity later, she has no idea where she is or even who she is while everything slowly starts to come back to her. She doesn't have the strength yet to open her eyes, but she can feel the pulsating bruise beneath her armor and the feeling of teeny tiny little hands pressing against her body and tugging at her clothing. It should be alarming, but Juno cannot find it in herself to be alarmed. "What the fuck..." she mutters. (Though it comes out more like, "Whadafuq.") Her consciousness starts to slip from her again as the promises of sweet, sweet slumber beckon her to join them and, while usually against wasting her time with sleep, it's real fucking tempting given her current state. Though what motivates her to get up is the way her body is unceremoniously dropped (had she been floating?), followed by the sound of angry skittering bugs. (Shit, did she land in a bug pit??) Still too wiped out to open her eyes and knowing that once she does, reality will continue its onslaught of cruelty against her, she lets herself sink down into the obsidian gravel for just another fucking moment of peace.

Of course, she is never allowed peace ever. She feels the metal stick poking at her cheeks (she swats it away like a fly) and then groans as the boot nudges her side and effectively sets off fireworks of pain across her back. 'Just ignore it. Play dead or some shit and it'll go away.' Of course, her strategy to play dead is fucking ruined when she's addressed as pinkie. That snaps those stormy eyes wide open and she's about ready to go to blows with this cowboy fucker (wait, where is she again?), but then he starts requesting her help? "What the fuck?" (This time her signature phrase does come out coherent, albeit a bit groggily.)

She pulls herself up off the ground and sizes up the man, pleased that she can stand toe to toe with him and not have to look up. She also notes how his get up reminds her of an old vintage poster she'd seen at the Duchess's estate some years back. (She's pretty sure the Duchess had referred to it as a poster for a western film––whatever any of that means.) The gun is something she also quickly notes and does a mental calculation of whether or not she'd be able to draw her whip faster than he can pull the trigger. 'Alright. Alright. Fucking cooperate, Juno. This is obviously some rich asshole on a mission.' Because only rich assholes own guns where Juno is from. (While there aren't enough bullets in production to render the weapons useful, it's never good to bet against a gun. The few times Juno has, she's been lucky her assumption that they were empty was correct because she's witnessed a few others try to make that bet and lose.) "Did the pink fucking armor blow my cover or was it––"

'The fucking faerie.' Granted, it does take Juno a minute or so to actually recognize Ollie's face in the photo––since her hair is white––but it's undeniably the biggest thorn to ever exist in her side. Her eyes shift between the photo and the cowboy before settling on the cowboy. She crosses her arms over her chest and raises her scarred brow. "Yeah, I know that fucking punk. She's a real pain in my ass. What makes you think I want to fucking reunite with that?" Obviously, she'd love to help bring the faerie bitch down, but she doesn't want to make it seem obvious. Doing anything for free is for fucking suckers. "I've got better shit to do with my day than hunt down fucking faeries."

***
​

The centipede lady considers the faerie carefully. One arm hugs her torso while the other pets Albert, who is still resting on his mistress's shoulder. "Clear up a misunderstanding?" She says the last word like it's a foreign concept, something she has never tasted before and cannot quite decide whether or not she likes it. "Miss. Under. Standing. Hmm, what is there to miss. under. stand? Albert only takes objects that are unwanted." Hence the trash and various (definitely cursed) objects. And, hey, does the cube not fit the unwanted description rather well? It's not exactly cherished by its present users. "This is why you must not take your belongings for granted. Distance makes the heart grow fonder. Live, laugh, love." She nods sagely, like she is not quoting the decorative pillows that are doubtlessly hidden beneath the piles and piles of discarded junk.

"Are you starting to miss the homo pirate? I can have Albert fetch them for you. Your tone. It suggests longing." Okay, clearly the centipede lady knows very little about reading emotions, but no matter. She taps her chin thoughtfully and then goes skittering through the room, apparently looking for something. (In the process of this skittering, she hits the cube with her tail and sends it... somewhere.) When she emerges from a pile of objects, she returns to the faerie, her long body circling around the other woman while half her legs drop to sit down. "Here," she offers the woman a doll. "Is this the homo pirate? I am willing to part with my homo pirate. Are we all crystals now?"

"Oh," she tilts her head to the side when the other woman mentions her trade. "That is quite shiny." She bends down closer to the tiny shiny object and gives it a little sniff. She staggers backwards on her many legs, apparently intoxicated by the smell alone. "Silver candy. How quaint. You want your homo pirate in exchange for some... candy?" Wow, is she really considering this? The centipede lady eyes the pack of gum longingly and almost shyly asks, "Do you have more candy?"

 

[ellarose]

"Better shit to do, eh? Yeah, I can see that." The man observes in a deep, husky voice. Like a detective ascertaining the scene of a crime, his piercing eyes flick from Juno, to the scattering little people, and then finally to the portion of their village that she had crushed in her fall. "Like getting yer ass hauled into the lava by the residents of these here town." He languidly gestures his arm over the ledge they're standing near to to indicate the stream of lava waiting below, pausing as if to allow the pink-clad pirate a moment to put the pieces together for herself. Then he folds the photograph of 'Ollie' exactly five times and tucks it away into the depths of his duster coat for safe keeping.

"I'm sure you know by now that this faerie's in possession of a real dangerous artifact. Could throw the alignment of the worlds all out of whack." He continues to explain. Then he produces a shiny badge that sparkles too much to be some kind of unofficial knockoff. "And I, Sylvester Rydinghood, have been tasked with apprehending 'er to ensure that don't happen. By helping me out, you'd be doin' the worlds a great service."

Sylvester dramatically turns to face the western skies, as if that might add an extra layer of gravitas to his words. So he's implying Juno will be a 'hero' in other words. However, he seems to have a good enough read on her to know that life just might not be her 'style' as he adjusts his coat collar, as if prepping himself to proceed on his mission either way.

"Now that I know you've seen 'er, guess that means I'm on the right track." Sylvester traces the telltale broken buildings with a critical eye and pans his gaze up towards the vague, hazy spires of other rock islands floating distantly above the one they're on. "All I gotta do is go up." The man sighs and tugs on his hat again. It's got to be impossibly hot out there in his getup, but his manly pride clearly keeps him from removing his hat or coat. "Strategic little thing, pickin' terrain that'd suit those wings. I'll give 'er that."

Sylvester reaches for his belt and starts winding his lasso. The rope glows faintly with magic as it stretches up, up, up above into the clouds towards another rock.

"Come with if you want, pinkie. It's yer choice." He nods once, as if to thank her for at least answering his question. Giving a casual two fingered salute, he propels himself towards the rocks above. "Good luck with the little people." Little people? Oh, yeah.

"Heave ho! Heave ho!" The little obsidian people chant. It seems that they're wheeling about a dozen catapults around Juno, each one in the process of being loaded with flaming rocks. They've clearly been working very hard to set up this attack, yelling all kinds of frantic directions at each other as they prepare to launch them all at her all at once.

***

"The... the homo pirate?" Lettie repeats dumbly, at a complete loss as the woman perplexes her right back. (She knows she probably would've denied it with the vehemence such a denial entailed if not for the fact that the woman is wrapping her elongated torso around her in the same moment, effectively skeeving her out enough to freeze her solid.) What. The. Hell. What the hell!? She articulated herself and her plain dislike for the pirate very, very clearly! So clear it should've been 'crystals'. Stars. If she has to clear misunderstandings about misunderstandings it's only a matter of time before her headache intensifies. (Of course she escaped Juno only for the pirate to continue to find ways to make her life hell. Like? Is her ghost in here right now laughing her ass off or something? It's a very real possibility at this point. The faerie imagines it so clearly and the picture her mind conjures is super annoying!) In that moment, steaming quietly with rage, she's tempted to spend the rest of her magic on exploding this stupid cave.

"No, no, no. No homo pirates. Let me make myself crystal clear if it wasn't already. I want nothing to do with pirates!" Lettie presses down as hard as she can to squash the annoyance she's feeling from her tone when she refuses the doll with a dismissive little wave of her hand. She figures she ought to express that sentiment in three different ways, if only to make it unmistakable that she's refusing here. And of course she's not going to tell this woman she misunderstood (though that's clearly what she did) because she misunderstands what a misunderstanding means! With a sigh, she closes her fist around the piece of gum and holds it towards her chest.

"Uh huh, it's shiny all right." Lettie says, keeping herself carefully cool. Okay, seems like she might be taking the bet. (If only she can set the terms straight and get what she's actually bargaining for, here!) Ugh. Obviously she's got to play her cards carefully with this one. "I want the cube, though. My cube." She purses her lips and holds up two of her fingers. "I could even bring myself to part with two pieces of candy if you let me have my cube back. My cube." There's no way to misunderstand that, is there? Please, please, please just let her get this over with already! Because this woman is the human... slash centipede equivalent of a migraine.

 

[starboob]

"Pfft, and what the fuck is that supposed to even mean?" The pirate rolls her eyes, still not having realized exactly what happened to her––she’s only vaguely aware that she fell. (The thundering ache in her back tells her that much.) When the cowboy gestures over their surroundings, she lifts a brow and scans the wreckage with her arms still crossed over her chest. If she's alarmed that she's just crushed a portion of this miniature village (that she assumes belongs to some child) then it must be buried deep, deep within the pirate as she only snorts in response––not even concerned that she really probably was going to be thrown over that cliff's edge before Silver Rider showed his ugly mug. (To be fair, he's probably a fine looking gentleman but Juno will never give him that sort of credit.) "I had that perfectly under fucking control." She very much did not and despite that fact, her tone suggests otherwise. The conviction is enough for one to even question the reality that they live in. Though that probably doesn't matter now that the cowboy has his eyes set skyward and is flashing her that idiotic fucking badge. (Automatically Juno trusts him even less. Her own experience with uniformed assholes has taught her that anyone with a badge just means they're a certified fucking asshole and aren't afraid to advertise it. She's yet to meet an official who doesn't get their jollies off exerting their power over the civilians they're supposed to be protecting. Corrupt fucking assholes.)

Honestly, Juno should be glad to see him off. She should be happy even knowing that he's going to take care of the fucking faerie for her. But she isn't. She doesn't know why, doesn't care to know why, all she knows is that it fucking annoys her that he thinks he has the right to ruin the faerie's life when he's never had to deal with her fucking personally. (At least it doesn't sound like he has.) He doesn't even have the decency to offer the pirate a piece of the reward for her help and that just crosses so many lines that she's decided Silverado here is her fucking enemy. Not that she'll reveal that so soon. Even she can understand when a temporary alliance is needed to accomplish a common goal.

“Aight, cowboy, you’ve got yourself a fucking deal but you’re not gonna fucking find her under the assumption her fucking wings still work.” The pirate snorts just remembering all the times the faerie has tried to fly away and fucking twisted in pain ‘cause one of her wings is a broke fucking joke. “She might be up there, sure, but her wing’s not fucking working. She broke that fucker when she decided to make a crash landing on my ship. I woulda fuckin' healed it for her, 'cause I'm nice, but she immediately unleashed her hellish magic and now I'm fuckin' here."

“Anyway, you know anything about lizard birds and where their fucking lairs are? Because she lost the relic to one of those and I’m guessing she’s in the nearest fucking nest trying to get it back.” Technically, that’s (sort of) fucking true. She did lose the cube to Juno… who promptly lost it to a fucking mutant bird but that’s beside the fucking point and Juno sure as hell isn’t going to bring up that fucking technicality. Nah. No point in that!

Following the cowboy's lead, she unclips her whip from her belt and fashions the end into a grappling hook. She twirls it around, looking up towards the floating rocks and takes aim at one. (Yeah, she could mention her fucking airship and decides not to because she doesn’t trust this cowboy official to not try to apprehend it for himself.) The hook latches onto one of the platforms and, just before she takes off, she kicks over some of the obsidian people and their flaming rock catapults, silently enjoying their anguished cries. ‘Clay-brained little morons.’

***
​

"Nothing to do with pirates?" the centipede lady repeats, clearly scandalized by the idea that someone might want nothing to do with homo pirates. However, it remains unclear how genuine her shock is given that she doesn't know anything about the faerie or the homo pirate. Albert seems to puff up in surprise, too, and chirps something into his mistress's ear. She nods in response. "The homo pirate was your companion, Albert says. And now. You want nothing to do with homo pirates. Are you? A traitor?" The doll is dropped on the floor while the lady's eyes narrow. For a minute they flash red before returning to their golden color. "I do not like disloyals," she shakes her head. "Nope, nope! Albert and I do not like people who abandon their friends for cubes or spheres or pyramids. There is no acceptable shape for betrayal." Then she thinks on this moment. "Perhaps, maybe, a nice rhombus but––" Albert nips at the woman's ear and she bats him away, "Fine, fine. Not even a rhombus!"

However, while it seems that the woman is clearly upset with anyone she deems a 'traitor,' she is not upset enough to not negotiate with them. At least not when shiny candy is involved. "But, you have candy and so I will listen to your proposal, traitor." She strokes her chin thoughtfully as she considers the offer of two pieces of candy in exchange for the cube. "Two pieces of candy and two cubes, hmm." Wait, two cubes? "Albert, please fetch our finest faerie cubes." The bird squawks and then flies off into the cave. While the two women wait, the centipede lady politely twiddles her thumbs. "Bugs of a feather flock together, you know. Was it your mother or father who was the fly? My father was a centipede and my mother ate his head. Very romantic." What.

Thankfully, before the bug woman can share anything more of herself, Albert returns with a pair of dice made from ivory with red diamond spots. The bird then flies outside of the cave, probably searching for more treasure, leaving the two women alone again. The centipede woman shows her guest the two cubes before quickly closing her fist around them lest they be stolen. "Candy first and then your cubes will be yours, traitor bug. Say, how many cubes would you like for... all the shiny candy? I have many cube objects. And spheres. And pyramids. A rhombus will cost you much, much more, however."

Though before the faerie can answer that a lasso and bone grappling hook secure themselves around the cave's entrance. Soon after, Albert flies back into the cave to sound the alarm (wild squawking). The centipede woman tilts her head to the side and then peers over at the faerie. "Did you invite friends over? Do they have candy? It is rather rude to invite a whole party without telling the host (me). I am so ill-prepared," she sighs. "Where did I put those party hats...?"

 

[ellarose]

"Oh, give me a break. Do you hold your friends captive and tell them they're worth less than dirt? 'Cause that's what the 'homo pirate' did to me when we first met!" Lettie defends herself vehemently, keeping her deep-seated groan of annoyance strictly on the inside considering negotiations are still in order. "And since then she's told me plenty of times how she'd be better off without me around. So I'm just doing what she told me to do by fucking off! We're not friends and I'm not a traitor, lady." And yes, it's a damned good use of her energy to at least try explain this. If nothing else in this world is 'crystals', she at least wants it to be when it comes to where she and Juju stand. They're not friends. Not even close! And taking all this slander for being a traitor because of it is getting on her very last nerve!

Two... what!? "My cube." Lettie says as Albert leaves, pressing her hands to her chest emphatically. That bird thing for sure knows what she's talking about. That menace the one who stole it in the first place! "My cube." When she's left with the lady in the meantime, she arches a skeptic brow and does her very best to ease it into something pleasant. Bugs of a feather? That doesn't even make any sense! (That's already been established though, hasn't it? Nothing has made any sense since she crash-landed in this hoarder's nest.) And seriously!? Which one of her parents was the fly!? Never mind the head-eating thing and the twisted 'romance' of that (if the woman thinks that's qualifies as romance, then maybe that explains why she thinks Juno is worthy of being her bestie at all) but a fly!? Seriously!? Her wings, which sparkled like the rarest diamonds in the right lighting, did not resemble flimsy little fly wings. The insult struck her like a slap to the face and it's taking everything for her to keep keeping cool over all of this. Focus. Just get the cube. Just get the cube and it'll all be over.

"My mother had the wings if that's what you're asking. But she was an angel, not a fly." Lettie scrapes the explanation into something flimsily quaint, her pleasant little smile seems to ask if the woman secretly has a death wish. The snobby old elders would have quickly asked her to clarify that her mother was, in fact, a fallen angel and undeserving of her former title. But the elders weren't around right now. And her mother sure as hell wasn't a fucking fly! If anything, it's just as important for her to make that 'crystals' as it is to make it 'crystals' that she and Juno are not friends. (She can so vividly imagine her mother fainting from the insult, too. The fierce instinct to protect she often felt in childhood burns brightly in her chest and she wants nothing more than to crush the spark with the heel of her shoe before it can turn into a full fledged fire and move on.) Ugh. What a mess. She needs to get off this shitty world that, for some reason, keeps shoving the memory of her mother in her face. But so long as the woman's chatting and not trying to kill her yet, she might as well humor her... if only to build 'solidarity' or something. It might serve her down the line. And it's not like she's staying on this fucking world any longer than she has to. With a little huff, she examines her nails. They're totally chipped after all that climbing. "My father, on the other hand, was..."

Albert returns before Lettie or the centipede woman can continue, though, and the faerie finds she's thankful for at least that. Fucking finally. Except that shit for brains bird brings the wrong cubes!

"Whoa-- not so fast! All I need is one cube." Lettie holds up one finger to make this point 'crystals' and stomps her foot, disturbing the treasure beneath her. "The right cube. My. Cube! That's all I'm willing to trade for."

Before Lettie can go even further into depth about clearing up the constant misunderstandings that swarmed to her life like fucking flies to honey ever since she landed in this woman's nest, the bone grappling hook in particular seizes her attention. And her heart immediately plunges in her chest. No. It's Juju. Of fucking course it's Juju. And honestly? Should've known that pirate wouldn't have bitten the dust so easily back there. Shit, shit, shit! The chorus that sings the anthem of her life is going at max volume in her head right now, thumping to the beat of her fucking heart.

"Ugh. They must've invited themselves over once they learned that I was here. I'm really popular like that. That's so rude of them, right?" Lettie improvises, instinctively backing away towards the larger piles of trash treasure. Yeah. As if she hadn't just hitched a ride on Albert's back and invited herself over the same way. But they can forget that now, right? It's in the past, water under the bridge or whatever. She offers the woman the friendliest smile she can manage while simultaneously bugging the fuck out. "Bugs of a feather, right? I'll go find your party hats for you!" (Of course what she actually means by this is find the cube and get the fuck out.) "If they ask, tell them I'm not here. Pretty please? Maybe then they'll look for me elsewhere and... and it'll give you some more time to prepare for guests!"

Guests. Plural. That's the truly baffling part of all of this! The fact that Juno might have teamed up with anyone at all when she's so grumpy and disagreeable is unbelievable. And for a reason she can't quite pinpoint, it annoys the hell out of her. Ahem. Probably because she persuaded whoever this is that it's somehow worth it to make Lettie's life a living fucking nightmare. Like, geez! She's struggling enough as it is without being ganged up on! All she is is one beautiful little faerie. Does she really deserve these struggles? No! The answer is no.

Lettie has no idea how the centipede woman is going to take her instructions. Knowing her, she'll bend them so wildly out of proportion that they'll no longer be recognizable. Knowing that good and well, she doesn't wait to get permission before diving behind the largest pile of treasure she can find. (Genius! This is strictly strategic. This way she can hide and search for the cube at the same time.) Moving as fast as she can while shaking minutely with panic, she sifts through the endless treasure to look for that stupid fucking cube. Come on. Where the fuck are you!?

Meanwhile, Sylvester Rydinghood finally pulls himself up into the nest alongside Juno.

"Well, well, well. What do we have here?" Sylvester considered, cautiously studying the mountains of treasure and junk. He does a real good job of hiding his opinions (if he has any at all) under his measured expression when he addresses the giant centipede woman. "Pardon the intrusion, ma'am." He tips his hat politely in greeting and then reaches into his coat pocket to produce the photograph. "We're searching for this faerie here. Her name's Olette Lycoris Radiata. You seen her anywhere?"

 

[starboob]

Juno’s running on fumes and spite. The climb up to the nest did more than just take the wind from her lungs, it birthed a thousand new aches in her (stupidly buff) arms and back. Not to mention, her magical reserves haven’t recovered from her earlier stint siphoning the whale’s spirit and they won’t until she either rests or something dies. Since she won’t rest, that just means she’ll have to lean into those alleged homicidal tendencies of hers. That shouldn’t be an issue with so many potential targets––the cowboy, the faerie (if she’s here), and whatever the fuck this monstrosity is before them. All she needs is that sweet release of death, the goddess’s blessing, and she can turn that into raw energy.

And it seems, the monstrosity will be the perfect sacrifice.

The monstrosity in question, also known as the centipede lady, eyes the picture carefully and even plucks it from the cowboy’s hand to take a close look. She presses the image to her face, rubbing it against her skin, before she eats it and scratches her head thoughtfully. “That looked like my bug friend, but she is not a faerie. She is a zoraptera and her hair is black, not white. If you would like to meet her, you may. She is throwing a surprise party for everyone. She just needs to grab the party hats.”

She opens her mouth to continue and is met with the tail end of the pirate’s whip lacerating her cheek. The monstrosity howls, both in shock and in pain, stumbling over her hundreds of legs and knocking over the piles of treasure (and trash). Juno then molds the end of the whip into a fist sized flanged mace head, that she uses to collapse part of the ceiling over the woman. Despite the mangled arms and legs sticking out from the pile, the necromancer doesn’t sense the spirit leaving the monstrosity’s body, but she decides that’s fine for now. She doesn’t want to give the faerie anymore time to escape since the idiot woman more or less confirmed the faerie is here. (Black haired bug? Yeah, that has to be the fucking faerie.)

The cowboy arches a brow in response, but gives nothing away regarding his assessment of the pirate’s display.

“Got any magic that’ll seal off the entrance to the cave? I’m fuckin’ positive that monster was talking about the little shit,” she grumbles, wiping her nose with the back of her hand. Without waiting for Silverado’s response or agreement, she stalks off further into the cave and kicks through piles of treasure that could be hiding a small faerie. (Olivia Lycan Radio. Yeah, Juno knows that’s wrong but it’s not like her approximation of the faerie’s name is worse than whatever it actually is. It’s obnoxious either fucking way and it doesn’t even surprise the pirate that she has such an insufferable name––and three of them, too. Fucking show off. Nobody fucking needs three fucking names. Only fucking snobs have three. And no, Juno isn’t bitter or anything like that so don’t fucking ask! Having one name is fucking respectable and not a waste of syllables.)

Ahem.

While Juno kicks around piles of trash and treasure (pocketing some of the, uh, shinier items), Sylvester slips on a pair leather gloves and pulls out some barbed wire from his bag. Much like his lasso earlier, the metal glows then floats from his hands to create a reinforced magic barrier around the cave’s entrance. Satisfied with his work he turns back towards the cave and scans for any signs of the faerie, apparently fine with the pirate doing all the scavenging.

On Juno’s end, she knows that the faerie is probably searching for that stupid cube amongst all this trash and that she’s probably hiding somewhere in it. She also knows not to assume Ollie is sporting the same hairdo as before since she’s watched it change at least three times today. Fuck. If only she had something of the faerie’s to help her track her signature. ’Note to self: steal one of her fucking hair ties.’ “Bitch, you can’t hide forever…”

“You’re a mean homo pirate,” someone (the centipede woman) croaks from beneath her rubble enclosure. “No wonder your bug girlfriend left you.”

What the fuck?

That, at least, pulls the pirate’s attention away from the current pile of junk she was about to kick. The centipede woman’s many appendages all twitch and shake as she pushes herself out of the rocks, her eyes a dangerous shade of red. “Mean, mean, mean! I will not let my bug of a feather be bullied by a traitor!” (Ah, fuck.) When she’s fully emerged, her mouth opens wide and two pincers sprout from within, dripping with saliva. They chatter threateningly towards both the cowboy (who somehow keeps his cool) and Juno (who looks annoyed). Juno anticipates the lady’s attack, assuming she’ll charge at one of them, and transforms her whip into a broadsword, perfect for hacking away at those several legs. Instead of acting as expected, however, she shrieks and from her mouth millions of angry bugs pour out––flies, ants, wasps, so many that the pirate wonders if they’ll fucking fill the cave.

“Fuck.” Juno’s eyes shift from the swarm back over to the piles of treasure, clearly unsure of what should be the most pressing thing on her mind. The cowboy, however, has already made up his mind. He claps Juno on the back, sticking a large cigar between his teeth, and says, “You take care of the swarm, pinkie. I’ll apprehend the fugitive.”

It’s not really up for debate, either, because the swarm is going after the pirate and the cowboy merely side steps away from her to avoid getting caught in that. As if he has all the time in the world, he strolls over towards a pile of treasure. “Alright, lil lady,” he drawls, “I know yer in there. I ain’t tryna cause you any more trouble, so why don’t y’come out peacefully and we can have ourselves a little chat ‘bout that relic of yers.”

 

[ellarose]

Lettie searches and listens at the same time. (Because she's a boss like that. Multitasking is a fundamental key to survival, all right?) The mystery guy in particular catches her attention more so than anyone else. The way he drops her full name sends the equivalent of a hundred ice cubes sliding down her back, providing all the encouragement she needs to steel her resolve searching for the cube. (The right cube. Her cube.) There's nothing that says trouble like being sought out with her full fucking name in someone else's mouth. Not to mention the part she overhears where the centipede woman says something about white hair. (It's been ages since she's worn her hair like that! Just who is this guy and how the heck does he know her? Why is he searching for her?) When her so-called bug of a feather clarifies that her hair is black now, she quickly glyphs her hair into a lighter shade of blue to amend that intel before it can bite her in the ass. Geez. Is she really gonna burn all of her magic changing her hair today? That's certainly what it feels like right now!

Naturally Juno proceeds to do what Juno does best in the meantime. Which is to make a biggest, most disastrous mess she possibly can in a matter of seconds. The pirate pisses the centipede woman off and also collapses a portion of the ceiling, causing a huge stir and mess that has Lettie diving for cover again to avoid being caught up in any of the commotion or caught in general. Shit! Cube, cube, cube. The second she finds the cube she's out of here.

The cowboy outright tells that the pirate that she's a fugitive to apprehend-- and that says it all, doesn't it? To be specific, it spells 'trouble' in all caps, spread across a big lit up sign with a bombastic fireworks display exploding behind it. So when he implies that he's not here to cause her any trouble, let's just say that she's not inclined to fall for it. Because 'Olette Lycoris Radiata' is not a fucking sucker! A dozen more questions rise to the forefront of her mind as well. What does he know about the relic? Now's not the time to acknowledge these questions, though. All she knows is that she needs the thing to get back home. And on the off chance that she does manage to find a way home without it? Who knows what kind of trouble she'd get into for losing it! For all her flippant audacity, this incident may be the very thing that gets her fired. And she can't lose this gig. Not yet. Not when she needs it to...

The bastard, with arcane powers of bullshit, ends up pinpointing the right pile and gradually approaches her hiding place. Panicking, Lettie sends a butterfly across the cave to another pile and sets it off, rustling the treasure there and luring his gaze away. (It also comes with the setback of collapsing one of the stalactites overhead, which lands on the poor centipede woman (hey, annoying as she was-- she's her friend for now!) and, by complete accident, probably helps Juno in some way or another. With that distraction set, she glitches herself to another hiding place and hurriedly starts sifting through more of the treasure. Come on you stupid cube! Where are you!?

"There you are. Nice try." Sylvester says. How!? Oh stars. Lettie yelps as a rope lassos around her waist, snaring tight before yanking her to the cowboy's side. "Crafty, aren't you? I can see why--" He puffs on his cigar, as if vaugely amused by her attempt to glyph her way out of her restraints more than anything. "Now, now. Simmer down. You ain't goin' nowhere. My lasso here is made to hold crafty little things like you. The less you struggle the easier this'll be on the both of us."

Lettie, stubbornly refuses to take his word for it and tries a few different glyphs. Of course, the rope does nothing but burn her in response. Damn it! Meanwhile, delving into the formalities no doubt governed by his occupation, Sylvester produces his badge from his coat. Somehow it sparkles brighter than any of the treasure in the cave. "Listen here. I'm Sylvester Ry--"

That's when Albert sweeps in and plucks the badge from his hand. And for the first time, there's a visible dent in the cowboy's cool. "Whoa, hey!"

"Albert!" Lettie exclaims with relief, immediately lunging for the lizard bird. Like before, she grips onto his body for dear life as he flies around the cave. Together they take off into the air, weaving around the stalactites. The other end of the lasso is effectively yanked from Sylvester's hand and drags along the cave floor.

"Albert?" The centipede woman pauses, briefly ceasing the endless flow of the insects flying towards Juno as she turns to survey what's been happening behind her.

"Not... not so fast!" Sylvester shouts out. Shit, shit, shit. He's gaining on the end of the lasso he dropped. "Pinkie, they're headed your way! Grab the lasso!"

Ugh. Lettie grits her teeth and creates another butterfly in the palm of her hand. It flutters down, down, down and then perches itself daintily on the cowboy's cigar. A one and a two and a three, and...

"Oh shit!"

Boom! The explosion that follows is glorious. Haha! ...Heh. Uh oh. But it accompanies a fairly obvious downside as the cave groans and rattles, bringing more portions of the ceiling down one by one.

 

[starboob]

Bugs. Fucking bugs! As if Juno doesn't have enough of those to deal with to last her entire lifetime, now this giant fucking bug is breathing them like they're flames. What's worse is that it's not like her sword is going to be able to defend her from all of them––even now, swinging wildly as the swarm encircles her it barely does anything. She's still getting bit and stung to the high heavens. She can feel them crawling beneath her armor and pinching the skin that should have been protected by fucking armor! "Fuck! Shit, shit! Fuck!" she yelps, unable to contain herself as the venom from wasp stings and other bugs floods her system and her body becomes a monument to fucking pain.

Though she would rather save her magic reserves to take out the fucking faerie, it's becoming abundantly clear that she's going to have to make some sacrifices in order to make sure that she can even survive long enough to strangle the other woman. Fine. Fine. Fucking fine. With all the bites now covering her body, she gathers some of the blood on her fingertips and creates a sigil in the air. The sigil glows neon red, hovers over Juno’s chest, and then explodes outwards to push off the bugs attached to her skin and creates a protective bubble-like barrier around the pirate. She doesn't know how long this will fucking hold for, but she only needs it to be long enough for her to pierce the stupid fucking centipede's chest and hopefully end the miserable fuck's life. (Temporarily, she's forgotten about the actual bug that she's meaning to squash. Or, at least, she's forgotten about the cowboy who also seems bent on squashing her. That's a good thing for that bug and a bad thing for the pirate, who has made it her mission to crush her beneath her boot.) "Alright fuck face, let's see how tough you are without your fucking swarm," she spits, raising her sword and readying to charge at the motherfucker.

However, before she can even get herself two inches closer, part of the room explodes and one of those little death daggers from the ceiling falls on top of her adversary. (Juno automatically guesses that the faerie is to blame for this, but she doesn't assume it's a magical cause. Instead, her hand immediately falls to her belt to check for her bombs. One, two, three... Still, her signature five so she guesses that perhaps the cowboy came in for the save? Yeah, that makes fucking sense to her.) The bug woman crumbles beneath the weight of rocks, but Juno is wise enough now to know that might not be enough to take her down given what happened earlier. She approaches the crumbled body with some caution and, yep, she had been right to do that because the centipede lady springs from the rubble and swats her million-legged lower half towards the pirate. Juno pivots her stance, shifting her arms to angle the sword downward to block the tailend of the monstrosity and, in the next moment, swings the sword upwards with all her might. The edge of her blade slices into the woman with enough force to partially sever the body.

Juno stumbles backwards from the force of the sword and body clashing. The bug woman's pincers chatter together, guttural screams claw their way out of her throat, and the pirate uses her shocked state to her advantage, going in once more to chop off those freakish appendages. Briefly, she catches a glimpse of the struggle between the cowboy and the faerie and that pisses her off––the faerie is hers. Her veins swell with this hot new emotion; her stormy eyes return to her writhing opponent (who is barfing up more bugs––fucking gross). Though just as Juno is twirling her sword with her signature flourish, the cowboy grabs her attention and she sees that his incompetence led him to losing the faerie. 'Fuck.'

She backs away from the bug woman, shifting her focus to grab the lasso before the faerie can get any further out of reach. In the same second that her fist closes around the rope, wrapping it tightly around her wrist and pulling the faerie and that Alan bird down, she hears another explosion and only sees enough to know that cowboy bits are now splattered across the cave. (Again, she assumes the cowboy fucked up with his own explosives and does not suspect the faerie whatsoever. 'What a fuckin' idiot.' ) As her arms close around bugsy, cracks split across the ceiling and pieces of it start to come crashing down.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," the pirate mutters, not even finding the time to throw the blame onto the faerie. In a fluid motion she tucks bugsy into her chest, like one might a small child or perhaps a football, and side steps to avoid a chunk of collapsing ceiling. Meanwhile the centipede lady, still trying to nurse the loss of her limbs, starts to shriek. Tears spill down her face as she mutters incomprehensibly but Juno doesn't pay her any mind. Nope, no time for that. Only thing to do right now is to get the fuck out of the cave... The cave that is collapsing. The cave that has a sealed off entrance because of the cowboy's magic (that apparently didn't die with him).

Well, since they're going to die (officially)...

"I can't believe you fucking led us straight into a fucking deathtrap!" Nevermind that Juno literally could have ditched the faerie at at least twelve different points in the last hour alone... "There are easier fucking ways to a kill a person––I fuckin' told you I'd give you a free fucking lesson but no!" At this point, she has set the faerie down and has her arms tossed up in the air while she chews her out. "You just had to fu––ouch!" The pirate rubs the back of her head and turns to see the cube resting smugly on a pile of candy wrappers. She whips back around and tackles the faerie, "Real fucking mature! We're about to die and you decide to turn my head into a fucking target as your dying act!? Get a grip!"

 

[ellarose]

Lettie knows she's going down. In fact, she and Albert both are going down because the pirate's got the lasso and (stupidly) buff muscles to yank her down with. Hurriedly, she draws a few more glyphs in a last-ditch attempt to free herself... and every time the rope begins to glow with her magic, it rejects it with an annoying bzzzt and either burns or shocks her in response. Ouch. Fuck! What the hell kind of magic is this? And who in the worlds did she piss off to warrant this level of security? Seeing as she exploded the one person capable of answering these questions, she knows she's not going to get them anytime soon. But surely there must be others like him who would begin to crawl out of the woodworks if this guy had managed to track her this far. Maybe an enemy of the corp? He said he was after the relic, after all.

The relic. As in the cube. Which-- duh-- is still hiding somewhere in the cave! (And no doubt laughing at the faerie's struggles, too.) Damn.

'I should've taken that shitty cafe job.' Lettie thinks sourly. The levels of bullshit would've no doubt been on par with this mess but not nearly as life threatening. 'Or signed on for that stupid reality tv show.' Really? On second thought. '...No, that's going too far. I take that back.' Last thing she needs is a glorified spotlight shining down on her. (Although she would look beautiful in it, make no mistake about that! She just knows that the light is so intense that it's capable of burning hotter than the lava on this world.) Even this is preferable to...

Lettie stops brooding when Juno tucks her under her arm and sidesteps collapsing rubble. The faerie can feel the shape of her (stupidly) muscled arm against her waist and her brain short circuits. The contents of her mind are all but wiped out as her heart pounds and her body hyper-fixates on the feeling of being held in such strong arms. 'So buff.' She gulps, finding her limbs have all jellied. (It's because of all the running she's done today. Of course! Any other narrative except for that is completely contrived.) 'Stupid... stupid buff pirate.'

Stupid mean buff pirate. Because the second that Juno sets Lettie down and starts yelling at her, it unearths all the reminders as to why she should not be fawning over those muscles. The faerie glimpses the cave, on the verge of collapse, and her bug of a feather crying. Okay, okay, okay. So what if she's come around on the (still weird) nickname? Don't get her wrong, she resents the title of bug! (And the fact that she'd looked at her and thought 'fly', no less. That is an unforgivable offense.) But the centipede woman, however strange, creepy and infuriating, learned the hard way what a homicidal asshole the pirate is and made an attempt to help her. Next to the skellies she partied with and Sir Regis, she... maybe comes third on the list of people she's generally cool with on the worlds she's encountered thus far? Because she didn't have to stick up for her like that. Maybe there's that sort of unspoken solidarity between thieves, too. She respects her treasure poor, collapsing nest on some level... even if a good deal of it is pretty disgusting.

"You homicidal asshole! It wouldn't have become a deathtrap if your first instinct wasn't to attack my bug of a feather!" Lettie shouts back, throwing her fists down and contrasting the way Juno throws her own arms in the air. (Shit. Her cheeks burn red, realizing what she just said. Apparently her brain's still in the process of short circuiting.) Quickly, she shook it off as panic transcended even embarrassment and she put that energy into her reprimand. "Face it. You're the one who chose violence, Juju! You bring this destruction on yourself and--"

That's around the time that Juno tackles her, choosing violence yet again and thereby proving Lettie right! Because she is right, for all extents and purposes. It must take elaborate mental gymnastics on captain cupcake's part to look at this situation and blame it all on one pretty, positively angelic little faerie such as herself.

"Ugh. Case and point!" Lettie cries out in pain as her broken wing smashes against the ground, scattering a spray of dark speckles in her eyes. Too preoccupied with her endeavor to claw at the pirate's throat with her manicured nails, she doesn't even notice the cube sitting nearby. "Get off of me, you fucking--"

Albert screeches behind them, effectively shattering the magic sealing the cave's entrance into a thousand pieces. Then the bird arches his head back again, unleashing a second mighty call that pushes both the faerie and the pirate (and the cube) out of the cave in a forceful blast. The message is crystal clear, really. 'Get the fuck out of our home!' Lettie finds she can't even find it in her to blame the bird for his outrage, even when she plummets down, down, down towards the endless unknown waiting below. Doesn't mean she's happy about fucking falling again, though. When she notices the cube tumbling along with them, though, she recalls that Albert's the one who stole it in the first place! Ugh. Dumb lizard bird. With no other outlet for her panic and rage, the faerie swings her legs and fists in the pirate's direction, hoping to get in a few satisfying hits as they plummet to their deaths.

Except falling seems to be the least of their problems when the centipede woman shakes the rubble off her monstrous body and crawls jankily out of her collapsing treasure trove, her tearful red eyes piercing. With jagged, pained movements she crawls down alongside the outside of the cave and leaps from one rock structure to the next as she follows the trajectory of their fall. And then... oof. In one hand, the woman catches the end of the lasso that Juno had let go of, suspending Lettie in the air by her waist. And again, oof. Bleh. If she keeps getting yanked around like this, she's totally going to vom. The woman begins reeling her up towards her, perhaps attempting to keep her out of the way as she opens her bleeding mouth wide to unleash another wave of insects upon the pirate.