Calvin Klein and Cigarettes

Naked Giants show. You just accurately summed up the whole thing xD And gah, JeanMarco is perfect; I read the ff long before I ever saw the show and they are perf :P


Totally by accident, of course :P I was very proud of Craig for not kneeing him when they were wasted =w=


*pat pat* *hands coffee* Hope you had a productive day or whatever :P and I look forward to it ^U^
 
Uhg. Freckles are perfect little face dots. It's like better than blushies. Just frecklies.


This whole post so far is angst and pure willpower to not punch Oscar somewhere on his body.


I bought totoro stuff. <3
 
They truly are adorable :P Maybe Craig could get them in summer or something if u wanted him to have them?


eheehee. I purposefully made Oscar's post as shitty as possible for Craig (poor babycat) because angst is fun I guess xD I look forward to witnessing him trying to not punch the crap out of reaaaallllyyy hungover Oscar.


o___o I AM MUCH JEALOUS. VERY ENVY. What kind of totoro stuff?
 
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I have no idea how to do spoiler things... I bought those! I love tototototototototoro. I currently have keychains and pins and now a wallscroll yay but holy fuck anything ghibli is expensive as fricker.


Your next post decides whether and where Oscar gets punched.


Maybe when he drops modeling for something else, maybe a lighter, more natural modeling(?) he'll just happen to have freckles. "Don't you know I spend my whole life savings on only a few things: Take out shitty food for your ass, alcohol to slowly kill myself and loads of cover up so no one sees the real me."


LOL I JUST IMAGINE: "Didn't you know that 99% of the time I am with you I have at least 3 hickies on my body at all times? You just don't see them."
 
Esh, I am so jealous, that is the world's cutest picture frame >W< Studio Ghibli is amazing, but yeah, I can imagine their stuff would be wicked expensive :P


It's so tempting just to paint a metaphorical target on his package and wait for Craig to punch him there =w=


Oscar just touches his face and screams in a manly fashion when a layer of cover up just comes away on his hands, revealing the freckles beneath! Craig either bruises easily, or gets a hell of a lot of action then xD Oscar: note to self, investigate further.


 
p.s. replies will be slow today b/c I'm an idiot and thought I could paint 3 massive canvases in 3 weeks and holy shit was I wrong. So, so, so wrong *sobs in the corner* So I'll reply whenever I escape from the escape I've dug for myself ^U^ my apologies
 
Oooh wow you paint? O: What do you paint? I can. Paint. With my fingers. No I can't. *cry*


There there. -can't think of anything to say- There there. <3 Head pat pat pat


I don't know what I'll put in it yet. A romantic picture of me and a totoro stuffy maybe. Lol not my boyfriend of two years that'd be silly.


Maybe one day. Oscar actually wakes up //before// Craig and... Lol probs not. What am I even saying. Yeah right.
 
I take art at school so I kind of have to, regardless of the endless torment xD and people. Because people are fun :P Thank you for the comfort - helps me to see if I don't have to squint through the tears =w=


Bros before hoes and all that. Plus, this is totoro we're talking 'bout here. He is the king of cool after all. Additional totoro stuffy jealousy now :P


Maybe through a series of unlikely events, like Oscar getting wasted and needing to vomit in the middle of the night, he returns to Craig, tries to lie back down next to him, accidentally assaults his face in the process and - gasp! The true Craig is revealed xD just a mess of hickeys and freckles :P Kissing him must taste interesting... unless he uses amazingly sticky cover-up -w-
 
Oh goodness. That sounds so intense! What kind of art do you do? Oil? Acrylic? Blood?


Totobro. Ehhhhh. I have a teenie tiny totoro beanie since the big stuffies are so expensive.


Haha, a series of unfortunately events. Their life.


Oooooh~ Maybe Craig gets super wasted, comes home very upset and just won't calm down. Craig throws up and is still crying, so Oscar tries to get him ready for bed. Brush teeth, wash face, reveals hickey freckle mess. "We've been friends for how long and I didn't know you had freckles?!"


Which can lead to cutie: "But your freckles are... things I like." Or some other horribly put compliment.


H-How are we going to have them get to the dating thingy point?


A crazy fight thing that leads to intense hugs?


Drunken gay bar dancing where, to test the other, neither of them are drunk?


Murder?
 
Mmm, I'd like to do more blood paintings, but jeez, it's just so gosh darn hard to come by nowadays! Last time I tried to harvest some, people started getting all twitchy and there was a court case and goodness, it was just such a hassle I had to call it quits. Maybe if I can secure myself a nice van where I can bleed out my victims willing volunteers in the back in private, then I'll return to my roots... And yeah, I do oils, because I hate myself and love it when paintings take a century to do -w-


Totobro. I fear this is nearly as horrific a creation as... well... that other thing that got us in trouble xD


Heh, then Oscar hides Craig's concealer and just goes 'but your freckles are so cuuuute' every time he goes mental trying to find it and demanding he returns his belongings =w=


Murder does sound like the only sensible option here. Though I feel like maybe we should try something crazy, like your ingenious fight plan! Idk, I feel a confrontation is in order soon given how bloody tense they are around each other. Maybe Keegan could help facilitate it somehow by being his usual asshole self? The ingenious non-drunk pretending to be drunk plan sounds hilarious too though tbh >w< Or Chris could help out, lovely fellow that he is.


SO MANY OPTIONS.


TWO MASSIVE DINO-LOSERS.


WHY DO THEY MAKE THIS SO DIFFICULT FOR US?


 
p.s. I am so sorry for how often Oscar casually decides to break the fourth wall.
 
Why. Did my message not send. It just sat here. Lonely. Unposted.


Lol yo I love how Oscar breaks the 4th wall. It's so funny. xD I know Craig will do so sometimes, or I just yell at my own character mid reply.


Blood paintings are so. Not mainstream though. I mean, everyone uses paints. Only real hipsters use blood. You could raid a blood bank. Just tell them you need a bit more. Gotta make a withdrawal yo.


Uhg, maybe his next modeling agency likes his freckles and he doesn't wear make up, but it's so awkward for him. Stoopid Oscar just snuggles with him and counts his freckles sometimes. "Found another!" Then gut punched.


I was thinking, maybe we can do a bit of a time skip? Get Craig and Danny more familiar with each other, bring out the holidays and OH GOD. Christmas is too mainstream for Hipster god over here. So, he spends more time with Oscar. Brings out the gay again. Tensions return and due to that tension, Craig and Hipster fight, then Craig and Oscar fight, which leads to screaming confessions?
 
*plays mournful violin*


Then I sound like a blood addict. Or a vampire. I don't want to get hounded by the vampire police/hunters :P *shivers with withdrawals* dammit, they're onto me man.


Oscar just lying on the floor clutching the offended area whispering "worth it."


LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN. Yeah nah, I'm good with a magical kawaii time skip. Anything to shove these losers to hurry the hell up and confess their epic love. Oscar really owes Craig a confession after being such a changable lil' shit for so long -w-


And Danny is weirdly sweet. Screw Oscar man *casually ignores Oscar's glaring here* go with the hipster god and his amazing cooking :P
 
It's the man. Be your true self, go against the man! Man. Man man man man.


Oh lovely! Bring on the Christmas time. Feel free to totally do a bit of a time jump, or I can do so in my next post! Time to bring out Craig's awful decorating skills and terrible singing to christmas songs. "RoUdOlPH der RED nused RaNDeRR."


Uhg. I don't even know where this is from but I pictured Danny pulling out a purity ring and Craig doesn't know what it is. All happy and what not and shows Oscar. "Wow. You vowed not to have fooly aroundy timies until you get married?"


What.
 
follow up question: when would you like this maaaaaaagical time skip to occur? My next post, or in a lil' bit?


Well I guess that answered my question xD


And I fear the hipster king is rubbing off on you :P Next you'll be running in here with a tie tied round your forehead, covered in warpaint and screaming 'DOWN WITH SOCIETY'.


I'm so hyped for shitty Craig and his obsession with christmas, and Oscar pretending to hate it whilst just secretly sitting there with his flashing lights sweater and reindeer horns and smirking to himself going 'damn I look so fly right now'.


xD And there you have the cause of their break up.


Shit though, that's basically a proposal.


Conceal don't feel Oscar. Conceal don't feel.
 
Just. Wait. Until. He makes Oscar sit with Santa at the mall. The employees will try to tell Craig that Oscar is too old and he will just threaten them so he can get a cute picture.


Jesus fuck hell crap shit the moment Craig hears Let it go on the radio, he will let his voice go. And be free. And literally his response to everything will be in shitty disney or christmas puns. I will bump up my pun game so intensely. Whenever Oscar touches something he isn't supposed to: "LET IT GO. LET IT GO. OR I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL PUNCH YOUUU."


Oh god underwear time skip. Fucking Craig will replace all his underwear with cute holiday ones. Probably Oscar's undies too. All his boxers will be snowflakes and candy canes. "Why did you get me these?" //Holding up candy cane undies. "To cover your candy cane of course!"
 
Too punny xD Ah man, Craig an his innuendo/puns are going to be deadly things. Oscar is going to have to up his groaning-in-despair game.


Anytime the opening line start playing, it'll be a race against time for Oscar to switch the radio the hell off before a) Craig hears and realises and b) Elsa starts singing. Screw the gym, that kind of desperate sprinting will turn him into a lean mean killing machine. Or, might do if gingerbread didn't exist.


Christmas is too much fun with these two. Bring on the festivities!
 
And so. The Christmas terror that is Craig begins. Just wait until he opens his closet and everything has been replaced with Christmas sweaters and candy cane undies.


Craig is king of Christmas mountain. Days filled with lovely holiday cheer and nights filled with cocoa and peppermint schnapps. Yessssssss. <3


 
I'm listening to christmas music since it's december first.
 
I reckon Oscar would make an amazing punk-rock Santa :P maybe the beard will work as a disguise so he can hide from all his other friends and not let them see him and his shaaaaaammmmeee.


Now I really crave peppermint schnapps. What time is it in relation to christmas day with these two btw? Also, Danny is a total D (and I mean douchebag rather than his usual D) for not coming to christmas mountain. If you can't set aside your pretentiousness and morals at ye ol' christmas time, when can you? :P


Christmas song binge-listening is on the to-do list. Unfortunately, shitty rap and hipster music is the only thing that will get me through bloody painting (not to be confused with blood painting. That definitely would use christmas songs -w-). You got an advent calendar? Because I feel like Oscar takes his advent calendar very seriously -w-
 
Omg their christmas picture. Oscar with all his piercings, black eyeliner, all dressed up like goth santa and Craig will be a cute little reindeer and omg they are so cute. <3


Idk, maybe three weeks before Christmas?


I figured I had to give him something to be douchey about otherwise he is the perfect boyfriend.


Craig will just sigh loudly. "I WANTED MY BOYFRIEND TO TAKE ME ON A SLEIGH RIDE. BUT. I GUESS NOT." *Intense staring at Oscar to replace the D right now.*


Loooool. Well it's only the 1st. xD Jingle bells jingle bells ho ho holly shittttt~!! Dashing through the snow, get the fuck out of my way~~!! Good thing there is so much red used in christmas, perfect for blood paintings.


What's an advent calender?
 
They'd also probably have taken it whilst drinking peppermint schnapps, so really, what must their friends think of them xD


Coolios.


And yeah, Oscar needs something to be good at. Dealing with Craig's christmas insanity is apparently just that =w=


"Fine. But it's your own fault if I crush you to death." On that note: sledging. The one thing Oscar can rival Craig in being a massive dork about. And naturally he would get competitive as hell during sledge racing. All the little kids trying to enjoy the snow will just watch on in shock and terror as two grown men yell their heads off skidding down a hill.


Please tell me America or Japan has advent calendars. Otherwise you're moving to England and I'm throwing one at you. They're like these calendars that have twenty-five 'doors' on them, and you open a door each day of december leading up to christmas. Plus the best ones had chocolate behind each door so you wake up, sprint down stairs, and claim your awesome chocolate prize.


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Oh, what lovely child-friendly versions of our favourite christmas jingles!
 
Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh THOSE. I had one of those bad boys when I was younger. My grandmother brought home three of them from Germany (though they do have them in america). My mom put different things in them and reused them every year because they are like, solid wood christmas housy things. Sometimes party poppers, chocolates, packets of cocoa, little toys and especially chocolate coins. <3 I HAVEN'T USED ONE IN YEARS. <3 <3


Omg super cute seeing them go sledding. Oh god. I picture like, Oscar positions himself at the top of the hill on his sled for the perfect ride down, but Craig just launches at him and holds on as they go flying down the hill right to the hospital. Oscar is laughing and happy and screaming and Craig is just singing: "DASHING THROUGH THE SNOW~~~~" These two. Are. The best. Christmas buddies.
 
'but you probably haven't heard of it so why tell you.' CRAIG MY DARLING- what has the hipster god done to you? Albeit I can highly imagine him looking wicked fabulous in the fake glasses -w-


And yes, they are amazing. You should have childhood flashbacks and definitely get one -w- they're the only thing that get me through december :P Your mum's one sounds way cooler though, and kind of adorable >w<


I can definitely imagine Craig with severe concussion trying to remember christmas songs, singing them all completely wrong whilst Oscar just nervously sings along, trying to make sure Craig stays awake and doesn't go and die before the ambulance comes. The hospital staff just won't know how to deal with these two screaming christmas songs and decorating Craig's bed with a bunch of shitty christmas crap so that it outplays even the children's ward xD
 
She only did that when we were young. Actually my dad liked to do it mostly. My mom isn't really into Christmas. She likes the tv christmas, but not really the fun of it. xD My dad and I are the Christmas nuts. We get a fake tree (because allergic) and literally our fake tree is older than I am, is missing so many needles probably because me and my dad fight with the branches.


"Craig. Don't let go. DON'T LET GO!"


"No. No Oscar, don't worry, //the cold never bothered me anyways//" then dies.


Then that's it. No more role play.


But no no no dying before Craig gets a date skate in. He can't actually skate though. Literally he can cook and look pretty but can't do anything else.


Since you mentioned Oscar getting a tattoo maybe in your post. Now I want to give Craig one. But he'd be a baby probably and get like, a tiny heart somewhere no one can see.
 
Poor fake christmas tree, cruelly abused by decorations overload xD Sadly enough, I'm probably Danny in this situation. I'm a teenager, I'm supposed to be cool and contemptuous of popular things, aren't I? Or is that hipsters... :P I wish I was more christmas-hyped though xD especially since Craig makes it look so fun.


"Craig... you little bastard, did you just DIE WITH A FUCKING DISNEY QUOTE?!" What a lovely ending to the story :)


At least his skill set rhymes? And Bambi Craig is so gosh darn freaking adorable, seriously Danny, WTAF. The hipster god makes some really poor life decisions, and does nothing to quell Oscar's sexual frustration here. I haven't skated in a bajillion years though so if Oscar's skating advice is wrong, blame me for living two hours away from the nearest ice rink.


Oscar would probably end up holding his hand through the whole ordeal and try to be sweet and comforting whilst resisting rolling his eyes at his massive loser of a bestie.


Also, on the note of Craig's Easter plans, I literally cannot wait until they play 'meet the parents' as each others boyfriends :P
 
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