Calvin Klein and Cigarettes

I'm almost out of college, always away from home. I have learned to appreciate Christmas a hell of a lot more than I did. I don't care about gifts anymore except the ones I give and I'd rather eat so much food until I die.


LITERALLY THE AMOUNT OF ANGST. I'M DYING.


Mentally I'm like, JUST SHOVE THEIR HEADS TOGETHER AND MAKE THEM KISS. AS THE ONE TYPING, I CAN DEFINITELY DO THAT. But I want to make them wait. At least until tonight when Danny gives him the shitty promise ring and they fight.


Literally I have no idea how to skate. I walk along the wall and scoot around on my butt until it goes numb.


"Oh god Oscar it hurts!" Sob sob sob.


"He hasn't started yet..."


UMF yes. His parents will be like, supportive. I figured the rich, sort of oblivious type of parents. Not at all bad people, obvious were Craig gets his whole... model thing going on. They are all excited to see their baby boys new boyfriend and Craig just goes: "Tadah~..." -___-;;
 
Ah fair enough then, maybe when I'm otherwise banished from the house I'll enjoy it more :3 Apologies for vanishing btw, I found out I had a driving lesson and had to make a break for it xD


It's okay, it's cute angst xD Plus I'm just sat here screaming 'NOW KISssSSSsssssSSSSSSssss!!"


Oh gods the promise ring.


"It's... a nice thought?" Oscar trying to stick up for the hipster god but also able to smell the sexual frustration on Craig.


It is one of my few life skills, so I guess Oscar and I have that in common xD It's great though b/c my family really can't so I get to be a total bastard and watch them all fall on their booties.


I think I need to go family ice skating again -w-


But geez, butt scooting must be frigging cold. Just falling on it makes me whingey xD


"It's okay, it's not like I can contaminate the gene pool anyway, much as Craig and I try." Oscar finding the silver lining in everything there -w- Ah man, easter surrounded by hideously attractive people. I hope Oscar's self esteem is feeling tough that day :P
 
I figured at that point they'll get into a fight. Either Danny dares to say something about his 'materialistic christmas' or maybe because he has meat in the fridge secretly for Oscar. Don't offend the king of Christmas's lair.


Well Oscar officially has one good boyfriend quality that isn't just: "Well this person happens to be worse than Oscar..."


Oh god Craig will just die of embarrassment if he says that. Even worse so when his parents sigh in relief at the realization that nope, Oscar can't harm their family name with a baby. "You. Just stand there and look pretty or I'll shove you on the bunny costume."
 
Danny being an asshole over his past sexual prowess was pretty D-baggy. Dammit Danny. Oscar had high hopes for you. He should have warned him that angering the king of the Christmas lair was a very, very dangerous game to play. I just feel sorry for the dismissed Christmas decorations.


*wipes away a tear* urgh, I’m so proud of the little dino-loser.


Casually mentioning their sex life in passing would probably be one of those things Oscar just keeps accidentally doing, and getting in a world of trouble with Craig for it –w- Revenge for making him spend the holidays surrounded by people who practically sparkle. Oscar in a bunny suit may now be a future requirement, however –w-
 
I imagine Craig having like, dozens of 5-6y/o cousins and they all tackle and beat the Oscar bun bun. Then for... what's the next holiday... maybe a pool party, he makes Oscar dress as a dolphin, again tackled and beaten. It's like a tradition. "W-Why must I always wear an animal suit? They hurt me..."


"IDK. Maybe I like cosplay. IDK." Craig will just grin as the little children punch and bite Oscar.


Little dino-loser is literally the cutest thing right now. He is so good that Craig will feed him some cheese. I think, for now at least, he enjoys his semi-dating thing with Oscar, then, closer to Christmas, maybe in a week, or a few days, to build tension~~~


Ahhhhh IDEA WAS BORN.


Maybe, Oscar is putting up the mistletoe, Danny comes in and is still rather upset about the number of guys Craig has been with: "So you plan on kissing every guy that walks in here? Christmas is so bunk..."


Fight fight fight fight, maybe Oscar has to pull him away before he gut punches Danny and in his rage he just starts yelling at Oscar.


"WHY ARE THE GOOD ONES NEVER GAY."


"BUT I'M A GOOD GUY!"


"I KNOW BUT YOU--" ............................................. "WHAT. YOU IDIOT, STOP JOKING!"
 
The amount we are violating the fourth wall at the moment is my actual favourite thing. Oh, and bonus question: what's peppermint bark? I'm guessing it's amazing if it's worthy of being used for bribery.


Oh gods, Craig and his swarm of cousins are going to be the death of Oscar. Thank god he's not easily toppled, just standing there trying to keep up the 'I am a cool hardcore punk I don't need this shit' before giving in and acting just as childishly as the six year olds. God knows what Craig's parents think of him as he just runs after the tiny cousins pretending to be a dinosaur-bunny or some other hairbrained shit.


"Kinky Craig. Kinky."


Oscar and his piece-of-shit seriously dumb methods of coming out should definitely be a thing, especially that one xD Ah man. But the real question is: Is Danny still in the apartment?


*DUN DUN DUUUUUUN*
 
YOU POOR BABY. YOU DON'T KNOW PEPPERMINT BARK WELL LET ME TELL YOU EXACTLY. IT'S WHITE CHOCOLATE. THEN PUT DARK CHOCOLATE ON TOP, MIX IN SOME PEPPERMINT FLAVORING, THEN CRUMBLE FUCKING CANDY CANES ON TOP.
Peppermint-bark.jpg



Ooh, no he left. Did I forget to put that in? I had him storm out the door ahaha. Like a DOUCHE NUGGET BUTT FACE MC. HIPSTERFACE.


Omg I'm just listening to christmas music by men with beautiful voices and dear god Craig would literally swoon over their voices. Omg.


 
And yes omg Oscar in a dino suit. Craig will buy him a dino kigurumi (full body suit pajamas) for christmas.
 
Holy smoosh that is the most delicious looking thing ever.


And lol, dont' worry you made it clear, I meant for when Oscar pulls his 'I'M A GOOD GUY' shithead stunt xD


I'm listening to the 'lads' in my class sing along to heavy metal. To be fair, I can't understand the lyrics, so for all I know, they could well be singing christmasy lyrics. *rocks back and forth* yeah... I can trick myself into believing this.


DAMMIT I WANT THOSE PEPPERMINT THINGS NOW GIMME. xD


 
o___o


Craig understands Oscar on a spiritual level. I'm all for him watching dino-punching in his dino suit. anyone else witnessing this will just look at Craig like 'wtaf do you find this fuckwit attractive'?
 
Ooh, hm... I didn't plan on him being there. Literally Craig ending with lip smacking his best friend will be the biggest slap in the face for poor Danny. Poor D.


Lol omg what music do you typically listen to? I can imagine raging Christmas music and you know, as long as it is christmas lyrics, Craig will be okay with it. Sort of. I just imagine Oscar dressing up on Christmas day as goth santa.


THEY ARE SO GOOD YOU HAVE NO IDEA. They are easy to make too. <3 <3 <3 <3


Craig will get one to match. Maybe a monster one or a dragon. xD Dino monster battles. Oh god, they are just running around the apartment screaming and making dino noises and one of their friends walks in. Immediately walks out.
 
That's what you get for smothering the spirit of christmas with pessimism xD


Oh that wasn't me slagging off heavy metal, just the lads 'singing' it. And honestly I listen to pretty much every genre except country and most rap. What 'bout you? Or, to really ruin your life: Favourite band/singer? And yesssssss, you have to choose one *evil laughs* Goth Santa and heavy metal versions of christmas songs may be the only way Oscar can survive this hell xD


Two full grown men everyone. Next door neighbours will just think they're racy and having extremely loud 'couple time', ignorant that they live next to such complete dorks. Oscar would probably end up quoting dumb pokemon moves and break out the nerf guns in a moment of complete historical inaccuracy -w-(because yes, dragons were/are real)
 
That's pretty much me. No rap, no country. Oh god. Maybe. The GazettE (A Japanese band). But. For American music, maybe Coldplay. NOW. U.


Oscar will have so many presents this year. Nerf guns, many many bullets, dino pajamas, maybe Craig buys him packs of pokemon cards for the stocking. They are such a cute couple. Literally they are so annoying. Only they could love each other. Craig will just fight dirty by putting paint on the end of his bullets.
 
Oh, I like the gazette, especially since they are all so pretttyyyyyyyy. Coldplay songs just make me cry xD


My favourite would probably beeee... My Chemical Romance? Or maybe a massive hipster band called IAMX.


The urge to force then to kiss is so strong. Like for fucks sake you've basically confessed and already act like you're dating , COME ON xD ah, they are such losers, but I love them.
 
Pretty babies. <3 I wish they didn't act so exclusive so I could see them live. xD


Ahh, I never listened to them, though most people I know do. xD Wow. It must be hipster. I've never heard of it. I guess you're the D now.


Idk. You should. Probably. Have Oscar kiss him. But say no homo. Then it's okay.
 
The power of no homo is truly amazing. They do the do. They get married. They adopt kids. No homo so it's not gay right?


And ah, my tweenage 'goth' phase commanded me to listen to them, and they have an album perfect for an American road trip so naturally I love them. As for the hipsters... Nah, just hipster xD do the gazette not preform live then or...?
 
On his gravestone: "Happily wed to Craig (Have I even given him a last name) but no homo."


My 'goth' phase was me listening to Green Day and omg I don't even think about those days anymore. I want to road trip~~~


They are so popular now that they tour often, but you have to be part of their fanclub and then you buy lottery tickets. So you buy a 200dollar ticket, and you are not even guaranteed. It's a lottery... It's so stupid.
 
Not that I remember. Finding it out shall be fun tho xD


And oh gods, Green Day. Id pretend to have grown out of them but... :P and American road trip is my one life goal, the rest I can live without -w- you live there, or used to, you've got a lot more if a chance than me :P


That sounds both insane and stressful. Why can't they just let everyone see them? *pat pat* maybe when they're less 'mainstream' you'll stand a chance xD and yes. Plot twist- I was the D all along, here to facilitate hookups and act as a plot device and obstacle -w- no need to thank me.


 
(P.s on phone which is dying so will have to reply to Rp later, apologies :( just going to be haunted by angst until then I guess... -w-)
 
I don't know what I'd do honest, for a road trip. I mean, we have the massive interstate which will basically go from one side of the country to the other, but then you're just passing a shit ton of corn and cows. I'd rather take it down the east coast. I want to explore Europe. Seems much more fun. <3


They make wonderful music and are totally wonderful looking but their personalities are awful. Like, I'd gut punch them all. Terrible people. xD


You were so hipster, I didn't even know you were hipster. Wow. You won the hipster award, that no one knows about. Wow, I am milking this for all it's worth.


Okee no worries. I am heading to bed anyways since it's 2am now. xD
 
I haven't got the details worked out, but it involves a red convertible, sunglasses, loud music, and the desert. I blame american literature and films for giving me this craving :P And meh, I don't think you're supposed to plan these things that much anyway =w= Europe roadtrip would be cool too, especially since you can go inter-railing which I think is cheaper than staying places. which countries in Europe you interested in?


Dear god no. Not sexy faces, terrible personalities. Why does the universe do this to us? WHY? The one true vice of reality.


I want to make a milk pun here, but I'm too tired and uncreative to think of anything witty. Just give me a laugh would you, pretend I said something genius, that you'll snigger at even a week later. And thank you, I try, except trying is so mainstream so actually I just coasted it.


Daymn you stay up late. You hardcore bro. I hope you're not a zombie the next day >w< Sorry if I contributed to keeping you up :P


Oh, and bonus question - do you want to jump to the - no, THE grand argument and coming out scene?
 
Yeah we can. I can skip in mah next post. I SHALL DO MY BEST.


I am a night owl actually. All my classes are super late so I don't have to get up early.


Like Keegan. Chiseled man carved by gods, but his personality is buttface.


I can't think of anything either... But I can laugh hysterically. I'll do that and we can reference back to this when we hit like, post 300 or something.


I want to go to Germany first, since half my family is from there and I've hardly met them. I have family in Berlin and Bavaria. After that, I have a friend in Belgium I want to see. I am not quite sure. The rails must make it so nice. I wish we had rails like that here but honestly, when we have a state nearly the size of Europe, can't quite do that. xD


Hellll I want to do that. That is everyone's dream after high school. To road trip like that. I am trying to convince my boyfriend to just take like, 2 weeks off and to drive with me across country, but his car is tiny... can't sleep in it. xD
 
Whaaah, babycat and Danny's fight was so freaking tense >w< also: THE TIME IS HERE! Let us welcome it gladly with courage and cheer


Not excited or anything.


No sir.


Jealous of your nocturnal lifestyle :P


Poor Keegan, neglected from the RP for being a massive asshole. I feel soooo sorry for him -_- nah but seriously, his reaction to lady and the tramp hooking up is going to be interesting xD


Maybe by that time we will have convinced ourselves that there really was a joke, I really am a comedic genius, and it was hilarious! *cough* =w= I appreciate the hysterical laughter.


Oh cool, I think I went to Germany on a WWII trip once, but it must be much more interesting to visit the country as a whole with family there. And yeah, a train system across america would be pretty convenient, but it might have led to less road trip films being made, so :P


Maybe just learn to curl up reaaaaaaally small. Or you could take a tent or something with you? Idk, I wish you luck in your road trip dreams though ^U^
 
If Craig is babycat then Oscar is mommasaurus. Also omg I use baby cat so much. If it is cute, I call it babycat. If it's a babycat, I call it babycat. If it's a full grown manly pirate cat, it's babycat.


Don't worry, we can bring him back and sassier than ever. Totally feel free to use when whenever you like. I figured I'll send Craig back to Calvin Klein, since Oscar won't care if it's name brand (and it did make him happy to work there). Craig will literally go be a swan and pigeon comes to pick him up.


Ooh really? A school trip? Wahhh. I want to go thereee.


I just imagine that when you think of the perfect milk joke, Oscar will just wake up in the middle of the night and whisper it into Craig's ear (waking him up) and of course he will get gut punched. <3


Ooh could do that. Go across the dessert states to California, making campfires along the way. That would be so much fun. I wish I could get the time off. :< We should totally have the dino-duo do that though. <3
 
It's a real problem when I call every character in a show babycat, and then everyone gets confused which babycat I'm referring to :P


Considering how Oscar originally thought Calvin Klein was a pop singer, I seriously doubt he'd have anything against the brand xD and hey, Pigeon done good for himself :P I guess this mans that Craig's co-workers were right the whole time though -w-


some day I'm sure you shall, as your root call you back or whatever xD and yeah, school trip, so it wasn't all that soaking up the culture-y or anything :P


"For fucks sake Oscar, it's okay to break the fourth wall in your head, but not out god damn loud. Then they'll know we're onto them!"


"For all they know I just really like milk jokes. Haha. Milk. Hilarious!"


We definitely should. That's what RPs are all about =w= although I feel like leaving these two in charge of their own personal safety on a road trip might be a disaster. And they won't get lost at all.
 
Instead of saying bae, just say babycat. The cutiest omg.


Yeah. Pigeon really did do great for himself. xD I hope babycat is ready for all the jealous stares and death threats he will get for being with my babycat.


And a strike of lightening comes down to hit only Oscar square in his oscar myer weiner. "God has smitten the kitten. Good night babycat." Chu chu love u.


"JUST ASK FOR DIRECTIONS."


"IF YOU HAD JUST BROUGHT THE RIGHT MAP--- Oscar. There is... oh. Oh god. I'm sorry..."


And then Oscar dies by scorpion/snake/other desert animal.


 
BTW, this was the inspiration for the RP:


https://38.media.tumblr.com/bf8a4c09c9631b38c91a84e7fd0e284a/tumblr_mz7ttdJKnQ1sv62vko1_500.jpg
 
*casually nosebleeds at the picture* I understand everything now. I thought it was a pretty unique idea, just with all the little details like the underwear. Horray for this picture existing though, since it lead to the RPs creation >w<


And babycat O has already endured those just by being babycat C's friend xD Dating him may rank up the death stares another level tho... he's going to have to up his antisocial glare-off game. Time to invest in thicker eyeliner.


Craig just crosses his arms and goes "Told you so." Being the caring, loving boyfriend he is, whilst Oscar just whimpers from beyond the grave :P


His life dream to die by dinosaur, ruined. Maybe it could be a venomous reptile that's bite causes him to hallucinate first, so he can pretend he's dying by dinosaur. Admittedly this would now leave Craig in the middle of a desert, with a deadly animal, and a road map probably for bloody china or something.


Good luck out there babycat C. good luck.
 
Though I did find the whole picture and it doesn't quite fit them. At all. xD But still. Daayumm am I right?


I've actually been snooping around for pictures that might look like them, but the punks I s2g are always anorexic. Craig is also not anorexic, so all the pictures I'm like nehhhhh


Craig will literally be bear grylls for a a month, dragging around Oscar's poor babycat corpse. Uhg I picture Oscar in florida chasing all the tiny lizards while screeching and being a dinosaur. Craig just comes back from getting them dinner to see Oscar holding like ten lizards in the house. SIGH. OK BYE.


My life has become doki doki and mother god literally is torn between making Craig suave or the dorky shy mess that he currently is.
 
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