WayfaringWaaksian
To Anywhere but There
Sebas Deadeye
Mess Hall
"Fergie, even friends can be a pain in the ass sometimes. You just pointed out that as much as you like Bogrum, he can be annoying as fuck." Sebas thought about all the times his crewmates have pissed him off. "Avery is to me what Bogrum is to you.......and he's probably the greatest friend I have on this ship. Ash's gung-ho axes in skulls all the time thing is annoying, but I'll trust no one more to keep an axe out of MY skull." He shrugged. That's just what it was. There was no deeper meaning than that, not that THAT was deep as it was. "Elaina? You saw how I was with Elaina when we were under water." If words were a whip, then Elaina was an incompetent slave. Elaina took so many verbal gut punches during that mission, one really had to wonder if she liked that kind of role reversal, given how she viewed and talked to those below her. "But even you swallow your pride and ask her for help, and who have you done that for, Fergie? Me, Bogrum, and Elaina. Not that I expect you to like her, but it goes to show how reliable she is. Since Orabelle came into the picture, I've spent more time with Elaina than anyone else on this ship. She knows her shit." Not in that way obviously. Elaina's passion for knowledge and the way her face always lit up when she was asked a question on her expertise was kind of cute, but that was undone the moment you hit the 30 second mark of watching her drone on and on in depth about shit you don't give a fuck about. There was a reason why Sebas knew only 3 spells.
Then Fergie brought up an issue that Sebas had to think about: Just doing her job wasn't enough. She wanted to go above and beyond. "You help us. We help you. That's how that is, and let that exist until we part ways." In fact, they seem to work well together. Fergie isn't going without knowledge and Elaina's opinion of Fergie has definitely softened. That woman was the literal reason why Fergie didn't go without being sold a complete con by Duradel. For he himself, Fergie was a hella reliable raid captain
"But all in all, it's don't make our lives harder and don't become a Ghauznud."
WayfaringWaaksian
When Sebas went on about the rest of the group, Fergie began shaking her head. Less from disagreement, more from confusion. "Being clingy, or bein' raid-crazy, or any of that shit ain't the same as..." Jesus, where to even begin? "I've been a money sink. You've needed to save me ass countless times, mostly for stupid reasons." Like insulting the Enforcer despite the multiple warnings, or bringing a dagger to assassinate a man instead of a gun like Bogrum pointed out. "Even from the start, I had to be saved from the Pockets." Her Ballast crew would have left someone of her rank at the time for dead. Someone who couldn't save themselves wasn't worth saving. "And up to now, I..." She huffed, gritting her teeth as if in pain. "I made a mistake, while fightin' Ghauz. Now Bogrum's havin' yet another stay in the Medbay." With awful burns he had to pretend didn't hurt, and potentially damaged nerves. Fergie got off easy in comparison.
She was starting to get escalated. Realizing how she might sound, she cleared her throat and said, "'Pologies, sir. Ain't intendin' to argue. If all ye want is a reason to keep trustin' me, then I'll respect that." Logic dictated that despite all of these mistakes, Sebas not only still wanted her as a raid captain, he didn't seem to even care about all the things she's done. Why else was she still maintaining this rank? Why else would he put his trust in her? It had been a small thing, barely something she could react to before the fray of the fight, but Fergie remembered what he said before they breached the lower decks of the Golden Guns ship. Despite being captain, despite being present, Sebas had put her in control of the operation. So it was clear that he valued her work, flawed as it was. But logic couldn't answer the ever-pervading question...
"Don't take this to mean I'm ungrateful. But I just keep wondering: why me?" Her tone was lower to reflect some notion of professionalism, but it didn't come without noticeable strain. "Ash and Avery got seniority." Yeah, one was a bit too enthusiastic about the killing part of raiding, and the other was younger and inexperienced. But that didn't change the fact, one that was mentioned with a scowl, that, "And they don't make constant fuckups like I do. I ain't fixin' to become the next Ghauz," which was setting the bar almost insultingly low, as she couldn't dream of bringing harm to her own crew, "but I've sure been makin' yer lives harder. I'd keep sayin' sorry, but 'sorry' don't mean shit unless I put me coin where me mouth is. I want to do better. Be better. Not be a wasted investment."
She'd been watching her hands to make sure her light trembling was isolated there, so she wouldn't be seen shaking like a leaf in the corner of the mess hall like some scared little animal. "I'm proud to serve this crew. Hell, I've never been prouder to be with any other crew." Adonis shared a disturbing number of similarities with her Commodore back then. The most significant difference was that he wasn't willing to mow down villages of innocent civilians for their loot and labor. It wasn’t anything praiseworthy, but he wasn’t who was on her mind. Now that she thought on it, it was starting to make sense why "pay it forward" hadn't registered to her. The Ballast crew as a whole was built on promises of money and punishment, rather than trust. During all her years working for them, she wound up with only a handful of crewmates she could trust not to try to sabotage her for her position, fewer still who she could trust with her life. The lack of a true foundation, fake loyalty masking greed and fear, was the true source of the Ballasts' undoing.
But the Basenjis? She hadn't seen a tighter bunch in almost two decades. They were superior in every way that really mattered. "And I want to make this crew proud, in return."
Kylesar1
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