What do vegetarian vampires eat? Blood oranges!
-
It turns out that the answer to my problems was not at the bottom of this pint of ice cream, but the important thing is that I tried.
Sending out a salute to all those veterans that have stepped forward to serve their country on this Veterans Day, no matter what branch you were in or how long you served. Thank you for your service!
I wonder what people that type 'u' and 'r' instead of 'you' and 'are' do with all that extra free time.
You know you are old when you clean to the music you used to get drunk to.
Does anyone know the proper ratio of gunpowder to essential oils? I want this bath bomb to be perfect.
Hey! No pun this time - if all goes well, there's going to be a game called Robin Hood - Sherwood Builders!
So, so... we... get to build... Sherwoods?! Woo! Watch out world! 8D
I can't be the only one who wants to build his very own Sherwood!
I once built a model of Mt. Everest. My wife asked me if it was to scale. I said, "No, its to look at."
Do you know how Viking ships would communicate with one another?
Norse Code.
What did the doctor say to the gingerbread man?
"Sore knee? I suggest you try icing it."
Do you know why ringwraiths don't like being called 'nazgul?'
Because it's so wraithist!
I want to combine alphabet soup and a laxative. I'll call it 'letter rip'.
If Ani is short for Anakin, what is Luke short for?
A stormtrooper.
Someone here in the city has been stealing t-shirts according to size.
Apparently, he's still at large.
I have some trained racing geese for sale.
If anyone wants to take a quick gander.
If you love someone, set them free.
If you hate someone, set them free.
Basically, set everyone free and get a cat. People are stupid.
If you are afraid of Santa, does that make you Claus-trophobic?
A lot of people thought that Frankenstein's Monster had a bad temper, but in reality, he was surprisingly level headed.
If I ever have twin daughters, I'll name the first one Kate.
And the second one Duplikate.
Here's a fun fact: When a short person waves at you, its called a microwave.
When two chickens talk to one another, do they use fowl language?
I was asked what the most illegal thing you can do with 1.00 U.S.
I said get 100 pennies, put them in a sock, and beat someone to death with it.
I want to know, why it is that my clothes only get stuck on the door handle when I'm in a bad mood?
It is fairly easy to keep a woman from eating a Tide Pod, but it is hard to deter gents.
I made some clown shoes today.
It was no small feet. -
Loading…
-
Loading…
-
Loading…
-
Loading…
-
Loading…
-
Loading…
