Me: Swallows tablet without water
Everyone else at the Samsung store:
Everyone else at the Samsung store:
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I was playing chess with my friend and he said, "Let’s make this interesting." So we stopped playing chess.
When I drink alcohol, everyone says I'm alcoholic. But when I drink Fanta, nobody says I'm fantastic.
Did you that the Jedi were originally known as Force Kin? I wonder why they rolled it back.
Protagonist takes missile to the face: perfectly fine
Random bad guy gets shot in pinkie toe: dies instantly
I saw a book titled How to Solve 50% of Your Problems today. It seemed like a good idea, so I bought two of them.
I broke my wrist today. But on the other hand, I'm fine.
I'm gonna go ahead and say that Destiny 2 has one of the best soundtracks I've ever heard in my life.
Playing a sequel without playing the first game is like waking up with a hangover without remembering anything about the night before.
So I just installed Dark Souls 3. All I can say is: fuck this game.
No matter how kind you are, German children will always be kinder.
When it sounds like WW3 in your microwave but the food still comes out cold.
STEAM SUMMER SALE IS HERE BOIS. PREPARE YOUR WALLETS
People always say that Bollywood movies have unrealistic physics. Well, it's simple why. It's because the P in India stands for physics.
I just realised that I've been on this site for four years now. Neat.
When you think about it, Jango Fett is technically the most killed character in movie history.
A Roman walks into a bar. He holds up two fingers and says, "five beers, please."
"Sunsets are proof that endings can be beautiful too."
British Empire would like to know your location
God creating bombardier beetle
God: Take a beetle
Angel: Cool
God: Make it shoot acid out of its ass lmao
Angel: Whoa what the
Me: Alright, let's see what's good on YouTube today
YouTube Algorithm: WIND ROSE - Diggy Diggy Hole (Official Video)
Me: [visible confusion]
Why do happy memories make me sad
*at the hospital*
Me: Doc, am I gonna be okay?
Doctor: I'm sorry, sir, but you're down with the sickness.
Me: *crying* OOHWAHAHAHA
Some people are like the sun. They blind people when you look at them and emit cancer in their presence.
Holy fuck the new Halo: Infinite trailer just dropped and I am so excited asdhfgjhbfu
Some people say I treat them like dirt. That's not true, because unlike them, dirt is actually useful. -
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