Corrosion

Corrosion · May 16, 2019

If the US suddenly switched from pounds to kilograms, there would be mass confusion.

Corrosion · May 14, 2019

What has 4 letters, sometimes, has 9 letters, but never has 5 letters.

Corrosion · May 14, 2019

9 out of 10 children are okay with bullying.

Corrosion · May 12, 2019

Last night I dreamt that I was sailing in a sea of soda. But then I woke up just before the best part. I wish I could go back to that Fanta sea.

Corrosion · May 10, 2019

The Blitzkrieg was fast and fuhrerious.

Corrosion · May 10, 2019

Spent the last few hours listening to Minecraft music and rewatching my old videos trying to relive the good old days when I would play with my brother without much to worry about. Now he plays Overwatch all the time tells me to fuck off whenever I ask him to play.

God, I miss those days.

Corrosion · May 8, 2019

I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive Noah for bringing two mosquitoes on his Ark.

Corrosion · May 7, 2019

Did you hear about the famous Italian chef who died? He pasta way in his sleep.

Corrosion · May 7, 2019

What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexia Association.

Corrosion · May 6, 2019

So my dad just bought a sound system with Alexa built in. After several minutes of asking, I can confirm that Alexa does not, never has, and never will work for the CIA. Alexa told me that, and I'm totally not saying this because the CIA is forcing me to.

Corrosion · May 3, 2019

You: Homosexual Intercourse
Me, an intellectual: Smash Bros

Corrosion · May 3, 2019

"Don't believe everything you read on the internet."
— Mahatma Gandhi, 1987

Corrosion · May 2, 2019

Me: "These live-action remakes are getting out of hand."
Paramount Pictures: "Lmao here's live-action Sonic."

Corrosion · May 2, 2019

"Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia: phobia of long words"
Me:

Corrosion · Apr 30, 2019

I really like the way the Earth rotates. It really makes my day.

Corrosion · Apr 30, 2019

Cow jokes are terrible and overused. They've been milked for all their worth.

Corrosion · Apr 29, 2019

Boys have swag. Men have style. Gentlemen have class. But an Apache helicopter has machine guns and missiles. It is an unbelievably impressive complement of weaponry, an absolute death machine.

Corrosion · Apr 26, 2019

I want to know the chemical formula of nitric oxide, but every time I Google it it just tells me NO.

Corrosion · Apr 26, 2019

Communist jokes aren't funny unless everybody gets them.

Corrosion · Apr 21, 2019

If your first name is John, you're basically destined to be an action hero.

Corrosion · Apr 17, 2019

The model of Notre-Dame in AC Unity is apparently going to help rebuild the real thing. Hopefully it won't turn out to be a glitchy bugfest when it's done.