Peacemaker .45
Gigachad.jpg >“why yes I don’t proofread my posts”
Jennifer had to take a moment to process what Nikole was saying.
This kid is more fucked up than I originally thought. I'm not the right person for this type of thing.
"Okay, Nikole, relax. Take a deep breath here and just relax," Jennifer said, her eyes wide open, trying to buy herself another second to think of what to say.
The truth is that Jennifer didn't know what to say. But being that she's wanted to kill herself many time in the past, maybe she was the best one. Either her or Holliday would be good. Holliday was better than she had originally thought with listening.
Kid," she said, stopping abruptly, wanting to change how she started. "Nikole, suicide ain't the answer. I lost so much of what my family was when I was young. I lost my brother at nine, had an abusive father for years, then watched both my parents died. I may have the luxury, or curse, of remembering them, what they looked like, what they sounded like."
Jennifer paused momentarily. She had to let her words sink in before she said them.
"The looks on their faces as they died, the pain they showed...," she continued, "but in some ways, it's a blessing not to. Then you wouldn't be stuck with the pain I am with."
The brunette pacer around slowly, thinking intently so that she say the right words and make sure this young girl doesn't do something to hurt herself.
"But the thing we have, you have, is a family now. You may think people don't like you, but they do here. Listen, I may come across as a bitch, a murder, whatever you want to call me. But I care about everyone here, including you. We all care about you. People have just been, at least what I can assume, weary of you. They see how you've changed, and they don't know what to say. I don't try to avoid you. I avoid everyone. I don't want to talk. I don't want to be around people. Why do you think I'm in here so much? But because I don't want to be around them, or you, doesn't mean I don't like you. This is a me thing, a thing for my own personal reasons."
Before Jennifer would finish, she needed to touch on one thing that Nikole said; burying her six feet under.
"And Nikole, I'm not going to bury you. None of us will, because you're not going to kill yourself. You're going to live, for us, like we all live for each other. Sometimes you need to hear it from others to realize that. I know that myself," she said, thinking about the incident with Austin where she herself almost killed herself.
"We fight for each other, and we need you. You are as vital of a part of the group as anyone else is. We need you and you need us."
Jennifer let out a sigh, she knew she wasn't equipped for this. Not now, at least.
"I'm sorry, Kiddo. If you were looking for someone to help you, you came to the wrong person," she said, plopping down onto the bed.
"This isn't my sort of thing. Maybe once it was. But now? Now it isn't. I'm sorry."
Jennifer had kept a relatively flat tone through the entire talk. She didn't raise her voice, go ballistic, or anything for that matter. Instead, she tried to keep herself in a position where her tone conveyed that she cared, but didn't directly show any emotion.
Twisting herself back onto her pillow, she embraced the cold side of it. For an abandoned house in the middle of a deep forest in Pennsylvania, it was rather stocked well with comfortable sleep inventory. Jennifer grinned at the feeling and closed her eyes for several seconds? Letting the comfort of the bed take away her stress from the world at the moment.
"Don't kill yourself, Nikole. We care about you. You are vital to the group, just like me or anyone else is. If you need more compassion, or emotion, like being held and 'loved,' then I suggest you see someone else. I'm not the best."
Jennifer just wanted to sleep. She had been fired from the day. She needed her rest. But she felt she wasn't going to get it. This irritated her, but maybe she was guessing wrong.
@Dibbydoo
This kid is more fucked up than I originally thought. I'm not the right person for this type of thing.
"Okay, Nikole, relax. Take a deep breath here and just relax," Jennifer said, her eyes wide open, trying to buy herself another second to think of what to say.
The truth is that Jennifer didn't know what to say. But being that she's wanted to kill herself many time in the past, maybe she was the best one. Either her or Holliday would be good. Holliday was better than she had originally thought with listening.
Kid," she said, stopping abruptly, wanting to change how she started. "Nikole, suicide ain't the answer. I lost so much of what my family was when I was young. I lost my brother at nine, had an abusive father for years, then watched both my parents died. I may have the luxury, or curse, of remembering them, what they looked like, what they sounded like."
Jennifer paused momentarily. She had to let her words sink in before she said them.
"The looks on their faces as they died, the pain they showed...," she continued, "but in some ways, it's a blessing not to. Then you wouldn't be stuck with the pain I am with."
The brunette pacer around slowly, thinking intently so that she say the right words and make sure this young girl doesn't do something to hurt herself.
"But the thing we have, you have, is a family now. You may think people don't like you, but they do here. Listen, I may come across as a bitch, a murder, whatever you want to call me. But I care about everyone here, including you. We all care about you. People have just been, at least what I can assume, weary of you. They see how you've changed, and they don't know what to say. I don't try to avoid you. I avoid everyone. I don't want to talk. I don't want to be around people. Why do you think I'm in here so much? But because I don't want to be around them, or you, doesn't mean I don't like you. This is a me thing, a thing for my own personal reasons."
Before Jennifer would finish, she needed to touch on one thing that Nikole said; burying her six feet under.
"And Nikole, I'm not going to bury you. None of us will, because you're not going to kill yourself. You're going to live, for us, like we all live for each other. Sometimes you need to hear it from others to realize that. I know that myself," she said, thinking about the incident with Austin where she herself almost killed herself.
"We fight for each other, and we need you. You are as vital of a part of the group as anyone else is. We need you and you need us."
Jennifer let out a sigh, she knew she wasn't equipped for this. Not now, at least.
"I'm sorry, Kiddo. If you were looking for someone to help you, you came to the wrong person," she said, plopping down onto the bed.
"This isn't my sort of thing. Maybe once it was. But now? Now it isn't. I'm sorry."
Jennifer had kept a relatively flat tone through the entire talk. She didn't raise her voice, go ballistic, or anything for that matter. Instead, she tried to keep herself in a position where her tone conveyed that she cared, but didn't directly show any emotion.
Twisting herself back onto her pillow, she embraced the cold side of it. For an abandoned house in the middle of a deep forest in Pennsylvania, it was rather stocked well with comfortable sleep inventory. Jennifer grinned at the feeling and closed her eyes for several seconds? Letting the comfort of the bed take away her stress from the world at the moment.
"Don't kill yourself, Nikole. We care about you. You are vital to the group, just like me or anyone else is. If you need more compassion, or emotion, like being held and 'loved,' then I suggest you see someone else. I'm not the best."
Jennifer just wanted to sleep. She had been fired from the day. She needed her rest. But she felt she wasn't going to get it. This irritated her, but maybe she was guessing wrong.
@Dibbydoo