The Person Above Rolled a 1

[Sir Fungus]

It is instead big burly Russian man who turns you into a carpet.

I try to form a band with my harem, but roll a 1

 

[Leon The Needled Riolu]

The band simply doesn't work together.

I try to jump but roll a 1.

 

[Gundam Watcher 27]

You land wrong and you break your nico nico kneecaps.


You roll a 1 and get a 1

 

[Sir Fungus]

Nothing happens.

I attempt to seduce a monstergirl spider but roll a 1

 

[Hallow]

She bites your face.

I attempt to bag a bird but roll a 1.

 

[Leon The Needled Riolu]

The bird somehow bags you...?

I try to seduce a monster but roll a 1.

 

[Sir Fungus]

The bird somehow bags you...?

I try to seduce a monster but roll a 1.

Congratulations, you just seduced Randal from monsters inc.

I try to climb the stairs to heaven to punch gods face, but roll a 1

 

[Leon The Needled Riolu]

Congratulations, you just seduced Randal from monsters inc.

(To be honest if I were to seduce someone from Monsters Inc it would be Randal.)

Instead, God slaps you in the face so hard you get sent straight to hell.

I try to bag a cat but roll a 1.

 

[Gundam Watcher 27]

Cat is out of the bag.

You roll a 1

 

[Hallow]

But you are a halfling and roll a 1 again.

I try to break the rules of physics

 

[Gundam Watcher 27]

But you are a halfling and roll a 1 again.

I try to break the rules of physics

You are in mother Russia, and there,

PHYSICS BREAK YOU!

You roll a 1 but roll a 1

 

[gingerwayne]

The dice spontaneously combust before you can read the number.

I try to order food but roll a 1.

 

[Superfly47]

Instead a giant dinosaur arrives and eats you.

I try to slide down a hill roll a one.

 

[Redfork2000]

You slide, but there's a rock in the way, and you crash head-first into the rock.

I try to build a rocket to visit the moon but I roll a 1.

 

[Superfly47]

The rocket does get to the moon, but you suffocate to death in space.

 

[First Rose]

Pikachu would get his tail severed off while leaving it out as the pokeball closed.

 

[Superfly47]

The giraffe bites the leaves so hard that the tree tips over and crashes the woman's head.

I try to type fast but roll a one.

 

[Redfork2000]

You make so many typos while typing that the result is illegible.

I try to cook spaghetti, but I roll a one.

 

[FathersDislikeMe]

You spill cream into the pan, accidentally use shrimp instead of meatballs, and the spaghetti is too wide. You end up with seafood fettucine alfredo instead.

I try to "drop the bass", but I roll a one.

 

[First Rose]

After dropping the large fish into the tank, it doesn't seem to find much appeal in living in a glass box. It calls up its savior Aquaman, and he sends a tsunami to wash away your house.

I attempt to blow out my birthday candles but I roll a 1.

 

[FathersDislikeMe]

You instead "sneeze out" your candles, and cover your delicious cake in a fine mist of mucous. Hey, at least no one else will eat it now, right?

I try to send my lady friend a singing telegram on Valentine's day while she's at work, but I roll a 1.

First Rose [What if I can wear heels better than you? Huh? What then? :B]

 

[First Rose]

On it's way to your woman's workplace, the telegram is smashed, mashed, and butchered by the lazy mailman. Resulting in a distorted looking item being dropped or your lady's desk. She didn't seem to like the message, because all your items were thrown on the front lawn by the time you got home.

I attempt to help an old lady across be street but I roll a one.

( FathersDislikeMe It'd be a short-lived victory my friend. Racks gun slide)

 

[Leon The Needled Riolu]

People mistake you for stealing from the poor women and you are arrested on the spot.

I try to climb a wall but roll a 1.

 

[Gundam Watcher 27]

You slip and break your nico nico kneecaps.

You roll a 1

 

[FathersDislikeMe]

"Welp. Guess I can't kill Tim after all."

I try to give a damn about the new Fast & Furious movie coming out, but I roll a 1.