The Path From Fayland - Official RP

(I love your RP writing, so why wouldn't I love your book? Besides, I like the books where people die more often than the ones where everyone lives. It adds more depth, and the fact that it makes me cry means I really love the characters. As long as you don't kill them off too early.


Character personality differences make the story so much better. I love it when characters have such stark contrasts in their personalities. I love a lot of stories, so I'm sure yours is one I'd like ^_^ I'll give you honest criticism.


I won't judge until I've read the whole thing so far ^_^


I won't regret reading it though.)
 
(I'd like to read it too...from your first comment it sounds like Homestuck :P But I plan to read it...later.) 
(^agree 100% with Alc)
 
(( Okai, well *SPOILER* there's one dude that dies in like the third chapter, but don't worry he kinda reappears later...it's weird... xD


And yay, you're wonderful<3 xD


Just remember, I haven't gotten around to fixing up the shitty beginning chapters. xD Like around the 20's they get much better. Personally, my favorite chapters all include the gang.


And no worries, I try to add quite a bit of everything in this book. There's 4 different main characters so it's kinda cool having like 4 different ways to show emotion.


And you guys are both fabulous. But if you don't like it that's okai xD I'm just very flattered that you're actually going to take some time to look at it ^^ ))
 
(I'll read it too ^^ I'm on the 3rd chapter and they aren't bad at all. I like how you will make the characters interact with each other and I will also give you my feedback when I finish reading all of the chapters you have posted.)
 
(And speaking of death, I once wrote a book where every main character died in their first chapter, and were given a second chance and given powers that could have prevented their death as a sort of irony.)
 
(( :o You people are all too kind x'D


And oh goodness, I'm editing chapter 2. Dang, it really needs some fixing. Carmella's supposed to be like 'cutesy' or whatever, so yeah


and Zeyro, that's actually a really creative idea. Ohmaigoodness. :0 ))
 
(I'll have to read it later >.< I was vid-chatting a friend in the hospital, then i came here and was talking to people, now I'm doing homework ;-;


Also, I like how you ignored the fact that Varexes almost slipped and fell when he helped Ruineth across.)
 
(( That's okai, I was editing some of the grammar in the beginning chapters. See, I wrote those so long ago that I wrote things like "I'm a dork." She said. instead of "I'm a dork," she said. (that's directed at the grammar, obviously)


And you have a friend in the hospital? :c Well, I hope they get well soon.


Also, she didn't have time to react since you flung Ruineth at her and she bodyslammed her to the ground xD And when she got up Varexes was all good, so. xDD))
 
(Yeah, my friend has the same thing I do, and depending on how bad I might be flaring, I might be in the same position as her soon.)
 
Suddenly, an elf that Lanli didn't know grabbed the elf she was holding from her arms and began sliding him across some ice that had just appeared. "I guess some elves here know magic..." She muttered to herself, slightly jealous that she possessed no such abilities. But glad that the hole in the floor was now relatively repaired, Lanli made her way over to the iced floor and slid across. 
((Your friend is in the hospital? Tell her that I hope she gets better soon.))
 
(( Aw, well I'm sure she'll be fine. Just let her know that all of us hope she gets well soon! And think positively!


And yes, the ice did disappear already xD Hahaha ))
 
((Oh dear. Poor Lanli. ;- ;) )


Just as Lanli began to slide across the ice, however, it disappeared beneath her feet. She yelled out in surprise, and just managed to catch herself on one of the branches of the tree. Frantically, she looked around trying to figure out what to do, but nothing was coming to mind.
 
Varexes-


I cursed as the new elf fell, and I fell to the hole to look down while laying flat on my stomach, but somehow she caught herself in the tree. "Pull yourself up. Get on top of the branch!" I called down to her in a calm but forceful voice that hid my panic. "Wait there and we'll find a way to get you down." I called down, looking up at Faye with a clueless expression that said: What do we do?
 
(( Awh shit, Lanli xD ))


Faye gasped as she saw Lanli fall through the empty space in the floor, unaware that the ice was going to vanish so quickly. "Lanli!" she yelled, falling to her knees at the edge of the walkway. "Hang in there!" She looked around for something to help her with, but nothing became apparent. Her eyes darted towards Varexes, hoping he had some sort of clever idea. 
(( Wow. I love how both of our characters just gave each other the same look x'D


WELL, THAT'S NOT GOOD. ||D))
 
Varexes-


After receiving the same look from Faye I grimaced. "Blake, try and get everyone else across to Faye." I said, then I slid off and fell down to the same branch, barely managing to land on the same branch as the new elf. I clung with my right hand while my left hung uselessly next to me before I grimaced and grabbed the tree and pulled myself up, letting out a scream of pain as I did so. Once I safely made it onto the branch I sat there for a moment. "I'll get you down." I panted through the agony that still coursed through my arm. "What we're going to do is lower you down branch by branch until you can safely jump, k?" I looked down and realized that might not be possible. "Or at least low enough where you can climb down. We'll get down together, k?" I said, promising her as I cradled my left arm.
 
The darkness swirled around Nova as he heard Fayes voice. 'Faye!' In another panicked move he summoned his ice spear in his hand. Defense was the only thing on his mind until a searing pain shot up his arm when he moved it
 
(Yeah that works xD Let me just re-make the post quickly xDD) 
Jess looked around quickly after Lanli fell, seeing Varexes go down after her in the corner of Jess's vision. After a few seconds worth of time she spotted a roll of rope hanging on the wall next to her. 'Aha!' She gathered up the rope and took a few steps toward where Varexes was when she suddenly stopped and turned her attention to Blake since he was closer to the two elfs. "Blake, throw some of this rope down to Varexes." Jess called out, tossing him the rope while hoping he caught it.
 
Varexes-


I looked up and saw the rope and grinned, but due to my pain it was more of a grimace. "We can use the rope once we get low enough." I said. "Your name's Lanli, right?"
 
Varexes-


I smiled at Lanli. "My name is Varexes. Don't worry, we'll get down." I looked up. "Toss the rope! Blake, please, help get everyone else across." I looked down at the ground and realized how much pain I was in for since I was this stupid. "Damn I'm stupid..." I muttered under my breath, too low to be heard.
 
"So when you do the throw, you keep your chest forward?" said Elwe. "Will you shut up?" Valandil thought. They had been searching for less the 5 minutes and it felt like all Elwe was going to do was ask questions. Just as Valandil was about to answer, he saw Varaxes running down the street. "Why is he running?" thought Valandil before saying "I'll have to answer that later. Pointing in the direction of Varaxes, he said "There is one of my friends." Without waiting for a reply from Elwe he started jogging after Varaxes. "I really hope no one was hurt." thought Valandil. After jogging for a bit, he came across a burnt house. "What the heck happened here? Is everyone ok?" he said as he stepped into the remains.


(Is most of the house burned or is it only a portion)
 

Users who are viewing this thread

Back
Top