Avinix
Penguins.
Dark humor is like food. Not everyone gets it.
Other The Dark Humor Thread
- Thread starter The Omen of Death
- Start date
myfanwy
forever tilted
people are so politically correct these days that you can't even say "black paint". instead, you have to say "leeroy, please paint my fence".
and
what do you think was the last thing going through princess diana's head? the steering wheel.
and
what do you think was the last thing going through princess diana's head? the steering wheel.
LadyLunaGlencoe
Trash Mammal
Wow, okay, brand new to the site. Of course this would be the first thread I land on, hahaha. I love this place already.
What's the worst part about being a black jew? You have to stand in the back of the oven.
So I suggested to my wife that she'd look sexier with her hair back…which is apparently an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient.
What's purple, about twelve inches and makes a woman scream all night long? Cot Death.
Shall I see myself out then?
What's the worst part about being a black jew? You have to stand in the back of the oven.
So I suggested to my wife that she'd look sexier with her hair back…which is apparently an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient.
What's purple, about twelve inches and makes a woman scream all night long? Cot Death.
Shall I see myself out then?
The Omen of Death
My presence has marked your eventual demise.
I am glad to see my thread ended up making you joining RPNation that much better! And great contributions, hope we are able to continue making you laugh for as long as we got material to work with!
LadyLunaGlencoe
Trash Mammal
Haha, thank you! And if material ever slows down I'll probably be able to scrape the barrel
Why are Jewish men circumcised? Because a Jewish woman can't resist anything that's 20% off
The Omen of Death
My presence has marked your eventual demise.
Why don't kids from Sandy Hook read books?
Because all they got that year were a few magazines.
Because all they got that year were a few magazines.
Emmi
Jumin's Bae
cyka of blyat the XVI
blyadj хддддд
Why is the USA bad at chess?
They already lost two towers
They already lost two towers
cyka of blyat the XVI
blyadj хддддд
capMARVELOUS
Yeah
Don't let an extra chromosome get you Down.
Why don't pedophiles win races? They prefer coming in a little behind.
Today was a pretty bad day. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my license as a bus driver.
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? I don't know, he still hasn't opened it yet.
My wife walked in to find me having sex with another girl. I don't know which she found more shocking: the fact that it was our daughter, or the fact that the abortion clinic let me take it home.
Why don't pedophiles win races? They prefer coming in a little behind.
Today was a pretty bad day. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my license as a bus driver.
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? I don't know, he still hasn't opened it yet.
My wife walked in to find me having sex with another girl. I don't know which she found more shocking: the fact that it was our daughter, or the fact that the abortion clinic let me take it home.
Universal Trash
ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ- moon dust in your heart.
Why did the guitarist go to jail?
Because he fingered a minor ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Because he fingered a minor ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Flowiest D
The Flowiest Fool. Chaser of Lyublyu.
So I was having sex the other day, the woman asked me to finish her off with a special move.
The first move was simple that came to mind.
The pirate, kick her shin and cum in her eye.
Arghhh
The second was not able to perform at said time.
The ghost. Build a steady rhythm, with the lights off of course. Near a open window. Sneak out the back and have your ninja perform the same rhythm.
Then walk past the window and wave.
The third was what I did, easiest and most effective.
The donkey kong.
As I pulled out and finished on her back I grabbed a barrel and smashed it over her head. I then ate a banana as I took off my tie.
The first move was simple that came to mind.
The pirate, kick her shin and cum in her eye.
Arghhh
The second was not able to perform at said time.
The ghost. Build a steady rhythm, with the lights off of course. Near a open window. Sneak out the back and have your ninja perform the same rhythm.
Then walk past the window and wave.
The third was what I did, easiest and most effective.
The donkey kong.
As I pulled out and finished on her back I grabbed a barrel and smashed it over her head. I then ate a banana as I took off my tie.
Archdemon
Some random dude on the Internet
Bipolar Bear
Global Heartwarming
Sir Swigglesworth
I got two brain cells fighting for third place
Ya know my friend asked me what the best thing about twenty-three year olds was, so I told him the obvious answer. There's 20 of them.
I always wondered how to get girls numbers until I met a Jewish girl, turns out all I have to do is lift their sleeve.
I dunno why Jared from subway got a lot of hate, he just liked his women how they liked their subs. 6 and 12
Best way to tell if a black woman is pregnant? Just see if the cotton from the tampon was picked.
(This one's a true story.) I remember this one time me and good friend of mine were at walmart being stupid. We got separated and decided to run around the store until we found one another. But as I turned into an isle I ran straight into a woman and we both got knocked flat down onto the ground. But she was really polite and was all like, "Oh no, I'm so sorry." But as I helped her up off the ground after I got up I simply smiled and said, "Oh don't worry, it's just been a while since I've possessed a body that's all." At which point she got a creeped out face and turned to walk away quickly.
Sometimes I wonder why some black peoples hands are pale on the bottom, then it hit me. They're black and the bottoms of their hands are pale because god left them in the oven for too long.
I was having fun with this girl and she kept screaming my name while we fucked, only issue is that she forgot my name wasn't help.
If you're pregnant and ever swallow a cum load after giving a man head, remember, you have just made him a technical pedophile.
Pregnant woman are human submarines if they go swimming, and I have the torpedo.
I expected to go to hell after a car crash because I felt I would die, it turned out in the hospital they saved me. And my wife was alive too....well maybe I am in hell?
So my daughter walked in on me and why wife during the act. In the haste of the moment I told her that were were just having a special wrestling session. Then she said that she and their brother did that all the time.
My daughter gave me a father's day gift today, and it was so damn sweet. Until she gave the same exact gift to her brother as well......
I always wondered how to get girls numbers until I met a Jewish girl, turns out all I have to do is lift their sleeve.
I dunno why Jared from subway got a lot of hate, he just liked his women how they liked their subs. 6 and 12
Best way to tell if a black woman is pregnant? Just see if the cotton from the tampon was picked.
(This one's a true story.) I remember this one time me and good friend of mine were at walmart being stupid. We got separated and decided to run around the store until we found one another. But as I turned into an isle I ran straight into a woman and we both got knocked flat down onto the ground. But she was really polite and was all like, "Oh no, I'm so sorry." But as I helped her up off the ground after I got up I simply smiled and said, "Oh don't worry, it's just been a while since I've possessed a body that's all." At which point she got a creeped out face and turned to walk away quickly.
Sometimes I wonder why some black peoples hands are pale on the bottom, then it hit me. They're black and the bottoms of their hands are pale because god left them in the oven for too long.
I was having fun with this girl and she kept screaming my name while we fucked, only issue is that she forgot my name wasn't help.
If you're pregnant and ever swallow a cum load after giving a man head, remember, you have just made him a technical pedophile.
Pregnant woman are human submarines if they go swimming, and I have the torpedo.
I expected to go to hell after a car crash because I felt I would die, it turned out in the hospital they saved me. And my wife was alive too....well maybe I am in hell?
So my daughter walked in on me and why wife during the act. In the haste of the moment I told her that were were just having a special wrestling session. Then she said that she and their brother did that all the time.
My daughter gave me a father's day gift today, and it was so damn sweet. Until she gave the same exact gift to her brother as well......
The Omen of Death
My presence has marked your eventual demise.
My girlfriend admitted to me she was once a Christian, so I immediately broke up with her.
It may come across as judgmental, but really, I’ve only ever known and loved her as Christine.
It may come across as judgmental, but really, I’ve only ever known and loved her as Christine.
chicachu
We're all crazy here
Why did hitler kill himself?
He saw his gas bill.
He saw his gas bill.
Allthoseforgotten
New Member
So fun story my brother and I both have dark humor much to to ourmother's dismay. A year or so back we were in a car accident. He made a left turn and Bam we were hit, all is fine. Now anytime he turns I shout "oh no not again!"
Archdemon
Some random dude on the Internet
sewerwench
New Member
If you rape a prostitute; does that count as shoplifting?
Archdemon
Some random dude on the Internet
Campfire Conspiracy
New Member
I don't think it's fun to joke about WWII, I lost my grandfather in that war... He fell down from the watchtower in Auschwitz.
Not too dark, not too light.
Not too dark, not too light.
Sir Swigglesworth
I got two brain cells fighting for third place
I slapped a guy today, who turned out to be a woman and then told me it was wrong for a man to hit a woman even if they hit you first. Today was the day I finally became trans.
Psychadelic
New Member
Today I played golf and beat my wife for the first time.
Those are two separate things.
What's the difference between a truckload of bowling bowls and a truckload of babies?
You can't unload the bowling bowls with a pitchfork.
Those are two separate things.
What's the difference between a truckload of bowling bowls and a truckload of babies?
You can't unload the bowling bowls with a pitchfork.
GoldenSlime
"Is Satan a Beagle Puppy?!"
There once was a mom who wanted her children to stop swearing. She decided the best way to do it was to slap them if they said a swear word. The mom was sitting at the table one day with her two children. "What do you want for breakfast?" she asked the daughter. "Some fucking Cheerios," the daughter replied. The mom slapped the daughter and then turned to the son. "So what do you want for breakfast?" she asked him. "You bet your sweet ass it ain't Cheerios," replied the son.
(By the way, my 76-year-old French grandma told me this joke. She's savage.)
(By the way, my 76-year-old French grandma told me this joke. She's savage.)
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