Tales of Salisonia: Rise of the Dragons [Official OOC Thread]

paipai900 said:
@Murfemra
You don't know how excited I am that you're joining my roleplay, Murfy. x3 Here's your first character's review.


Name: Cooleos.


Gender: I am not sexist.


Age: A, O, K!


Class: *thumbs up*


Appearance Notes: Everything's fine over here!


Personality: He sounds like a wonderful character! Kind of like my dog. x3 Anyway, could I ask that you add more to his personality? He seems a little shallow to me at the moment. Tell me how he would react to certain situations, how does he get angry? Does he get angry? How about in his low points? Sadist? Masochist? Etc.


History: Question and exploiting time! :D


Problems:


Only the monarch can knight someone, so the Kailars couldn't have done such an important ceremony.


http://history.howstuffworks.com/historical-figures/knight3.htm


Questions:


Where did Khile grow up?


What are a few things that Khile did?


Why was he fascinated by combat?


Who is John Stanford?


Why did Khile lower himself so much to obey a child?


Please add more since there's a lot of holes that need to be filled up in the history. :) Thank you for applying though! ^^





Character number two! ^^


Name: Cool bro.


Gender: I ain't sexist, bro.


Age: Here's my problem with young characters, they won't be allowed to walk around with no adult until later in the roleplay. Good thing Khile's there, right? xD


Class: What kind of elementalist? Choose from any element and feel free to get more descriptive with it. Example: Water-->Ice-->Snow-->Slush. Lol. Remember that he's only eleven so he can't be this insanely good elementalist. ^^


Appearance Notes: How skinny? How light? :3 Height?


Personality: Add more please! Same as Khile, how would he react to certain situations? Etc. Go crazy with it. xD


History: Another question and exploiting time! :D


Please expand on the hybrid part please. Was his father the elf? Mother? Are both his parents human? Etc.


Just add more and you're fine. ^^


Otayy, I'll get around o doing that after I finish my homework :3 However, I have to ask (since I'm only semi-smart), what exactly do you mean by "question and exploiting time"? .3.
Click to expand...
 
I've been trying to find a way to poke my character into the current situation, and I think I have an idea at this point. My math test is done tomorrow, so i'll have significantly more free time once that's settled.
 
@Sedrian I'll give a more in-depth review when I can read the entire character sheet, but here's a few things I was able to notice:


Please expand more on the personality and history. Go into more detail about his life and what he's done. He's 27 and an Assassin, so that should provide plenty of material to expand on. Also, his personality seems very contradictory. For his family being notorious being secretive and notorious, that also seems contradictory. How do they make a name for themselves when nobody knows of them?


Once again, please tone down his skills with weaponry. Nobody in this RP should be at a master level, especially when you're character is still just 27. That goes for his hand-to-hand combat as well. Training with the Elders of hand-to-hand combat seems like an excuse for him to quickly learn his skills. Also, go into detail about those Elders as well. Are they just in the Assassins or in the world? They don't exist at the current moment. He can use hand-to-hand combat, but focus one one skill. For example, make him focus on the sword and have him use martial arts as a secondary fighting style, but not as powerful. It also seems like your character fits the Knight description, rather than the Assassin class.


Also, go into more detail about his home being burned. Where was the house at? Was it in a city? How did others react? How did it happen? It's a very defining moment in your characters life, so please expand on it.
 
It was short, so it was less difficult to review. Yours is longer, so it'll take longer. Don't worry, you're next.
 
No. That's fake. I put July 7, 1977 as my birthday because ...


SEVEN. SEVENTH DAY OF THE SEVENTH MONTH OF THE SEVENTY-SEVENTH YEAR OF THE NINETEEN HUNDREDS (The number one is in hundred. One kind of looks like a seven ...)
 
... So you're 63? P:


I was only shocked about her age due to how much detail was put into this RP. I could tell she was on the youngerside, though. Them emoticons show!


Sent from my SPH-L720 using Tapatalk now Free
 
I never use emoticons, which is why some people believe I'm already a grown man. Apparently if you don't put a smiley face at the end of everything, you are an elder...
 
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