sorrow made you
from the bottom of the dark, dark sea
[QUOTE="Astaroth Suzumiya]hhhmmm?why?
[/QUOTE]
I have issues with it all around. Here are the major things:
1. Please read everything in the Overview, Rules and Settings/Location pages.
2. mix 'n match - her name, nationality and picture are very contradicting. That's clearly an Asian girl in Sona cosplay, yet she has a relatively English name (I'm not sure what that surname is) and she is Russian in ethnicity. It doesn't match and that doesn't quite make sense to me. If that outfit is meant to be her daily outfit, it definitely would not fit a setting that's set in a relatively real world.
3. disabilities galore - for one, we already have a character that is mute, and I would not like to repeat. I don't like the fact that she is mute AND deaf. It isn't practical in this kind of roleplay to have both disabilities and function normally. I would need a very good excuse to allow this.
4. bad traits confusion - I really wouldn't consider "staring", "cursing" or "evil seriousness" bad personality traits. If anything, they are bad habits.
5. angel & devil - I personally don't like the dual personality. I don't like the sugary sweet that can flip and be evil. I don't like becoming "evil psycho in a mute way." Its very cartoony to me, and even though there are paranormal and mythological creatures in this roleplay, I am keeping everything as real as possible. Overall, the personality is far too cartoony and reminds me of something that should be in KILL la KILL.
6. mmo skillz? - being good at technology is rather vague, and so is crafting. When I think of "crafting", I think of something from an MMO. Also, her talent doesn't make sense. "know how to survive using life hacks" means absolutely nothing to me, to be brutally honest. I don't understand what you mean. I don't really see why she would be talented in using guns. There's no background in her being able to use guns or even learned.
7. bio gone wrong - when I read the bio, I swore you were applying for a different roleplay. The setting is completely off. It even seems like you are talking about a different time period all together. There are no bandits, there are no guards, you can't leave Pasecoda--which is explicitly stated. Overall, I know absolutely nothing about her because of how vague and inaccurate the bio is to the story and setting.
8. grammar and length - Several times I saw "you" written as "u", and I can't accept that in the IC. I would like to have at least some proper English and grammar so that there is coherency and easier to read. Also, the bio isn't long enough. Though it looks like its three paragraphs, I require each paragraph to be at minimum 5-10 sentences. You have one run-on sentence each "paragraph."
9. I really felt like you didn't read anything, or take anything that I had written into consideration. This honestly looks like you are applying to a completely different roleplay but using my application.
And this is why I must say no to this profile. I can't say its salvageable, so attempting again with this character may not be very beneficial.
[/QUOTE]
I have issues with it all around. Here are the major things:
1. Please read everything in the Overview, Rules and Settings/Location pages.
2. mix 'n match - her name, nationality and picture are very contradicting. That's clearly an Asian girl in Sona cosplay, yet she has a relatively English name (I'm not sure what that surname is) and she is Russian in ethnicity. It doesn't match and that doesn't quite make sense to me. If that outfit is meant to be her daily outfit, it definitely would not fit a setting that's set in a relatively real world.
3. disabilities galore - for one, we already have a character that is mute, and I would not like to repeat. I don't like the fact that she is mute AND deaf. It isn't practical in this kind of roleplay to have both disabilities and function normally. I would need a very good excuse to allow this.
4. bad traits confusion - I really wouldn't consider "staring", "cursing" or "evil seriousness" bad personality traits. If anything, they are bad habits.
5. angel & devil - I personally don't like the dual personality. I don't like the sugary sweet that can flip and be evil. I don't like becoming "evil psycho in a mute way." Its very cartoony to me, and even though there are paranormal and mythological creatures in this roleplay, I am keeping everything as real as possible. Overall, the personality is far too cartoony and reminds me of something that should be in KILL la KILL.
6. mmo skillz? - being good at technology is rather vague, and so is crafting. When I think of "crafting", I think of something from an MMO. Also, her talent doesn't make sense. "know how to survive using life hacks" means absolutely nothing to me, to be brutally honest. I don't understand what you mean. I don't really see why she would be talented in using guns. There's no background in her being able to use guns or even learned.
7. bio gone wrong - when I read the bio, I swore you were applying for a different roleplay. The setting is completely off. It even seems like you are talking about a different time period all together. There are no bandits, there are no guards, you can't leave Pasecoda--which is explicitly stated. Overall, I know absolutely nothing about her because of how vague and inaccurate the bio is to the story and setting.
8. grammar and length - Several times I saw "you" written as "u", and I can't accept that in the IC. I would like to have at least some proper English and grammar so that there is coherency and easier to read. Also, the bio isn't long enough. Though it looks like its three paragraphs, I require each paragraph to be at minimum 5-10 sentences. You have one run-on sentence each "paragraph."
9. I really felt like you didn't read anything, or take anything that I had written into consideration. This honestly looks like you are applying to a completely different roleplay but using my application.
And this is why I must say no to this profile. I can't say its salvageable, so attempting again with this character may not be very beneficial.
but its alroght if u dont like my character in the league its okey no hard feels 
I've been back at school for a good week now and my schedule has really picked up, so I've become so much busier than I expected. I genuinely was so excited for this RP and if I had a choice, I would definitely stay, but it's getting really hard to balance both. Honestly this has so much potential and it pains me to go, but I figured it would be better to drop now before I post rather than in the middle. Sorry again, you guys have fun! I will definitely be reading along 
) and instead she heads to the stage? If that is alright with everyone else, of course. c:
