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Fantasy Seiunita OOC

Elephantom said:
Two words, kid, and what about your walls of texts? My vocabulary is far more outstanding then your 14 year old arse.

roleplay spittle in a nutshell:

dWF6HIu.jpg
Click to expand...
Eeeeeeehhhh....
 
shadowz1995 said:
I mean a fight between the two love. I know what happened lol
Click to expand...

Oh yeah, I'm not stupid. xD considering Pia doesn't train all the time like Ira, he'd whoop her, but they'd also probably blow a lot of shit up in the process so I was more concerned with how to curve the fight so nothing serious happened before Desh returned.
 
Roleplay Skittle said:
Walls of text? xD you are really one to talk and your vocabulary isn't that outstanding.
Click to expand...

Says the girl who puts emote on every fucking post of hers. Accept it. I write better than you, and everybody else here. While you wrote five life-sized paragraphs in your last post, and made it so stringed up I could hardly read it.

I'm the supreme writer here.
 
Roleplay Skittle said:
Part of why I really need to find a theme song. It's always easier to type with a song that makes one think of their character.
Click to expand...
They are going to be punished regardless. An unsanctioned fight is against the law. But since it was just a scuffle, I got to think of a suiting punishment.
 
Gaze upon your last post, Roleplay Skittle Roleplay Skittle , and humble yourself:

Despite the sun being high in the sky, the Dark Kingdom was shrouded in gloom. The unrelenting blanket of somber clouds and ceaseless fog only serving as an incessant reminder that these lands had been a blemish to the rest of the world, and that no one had wanted them, just as no one had wanted the beings that now inhabited them. Even the castle grounds could not escape the grim touch of the ever present darkness and mist which spread over the royal gardens that were not so much vast as they were bountiful, leaving them in bleaker shades of greens than they otherwise may have been. Despite the somewhat ominous atmosphere that was ever present, the external gardens were a veritable jungle of well-maintained, exotic looking blooms that would have been vibrantly bright colors in better light, some as large as an average Humanoid's head and others larger still. Water was a precious resource and every drop needed to be distributed with careful consideration, so there was more foliage and less grass with vegetation of only the most hardy varieties because despite being a kingdom lacking a proper water source and acquiring fresh water primarily through trade, the royals still needed a place to be at leisure as well as to entertain guests and visiting diplomats, they weren't savages after all.

The grounds around the greenhouses were virtually silent save for the sound of the wind rustling the leaves on the various plants that grew there and the somewhat disturbing call of a native bird, which sounded like a cross between a goat's bleat and a child's scream, occasionally echoing from an unknown location. The real hustle and bustle was occurring in the interior gardens, long cylindrical shaped buildings of glass which contained orchards, vineyards, forests, and any other type of vegetation that one would expect of a garden in practically any of the other kingdoms. Flowers and plants that had a harder time surviving harsher environments were carefully tended to here and flourished in the humidity that accumulated in the structures.

The glass buildings spanned miles of land, as was necessary in order to produce even the minimum amount of food that was necessary for a kingdom to survive on, and even still, more greenhouses were being added in anticipation of the imminent war. Everything in these structures was borrowed, even the dirt. Cassiopeia paid painstakingly close attention to the details to ensure the success of each crop and plant, as food was not her only objective, herbs for medicines were as well and given the rarity of some of the plant species native to the Dark Kingdom, Pia had taken it upon herself to procure, breed, and grow these special plants in hopes of the king’s people being able to offer them as a lucrative trade for other things the kingdom would need more.

The demoness of light could be thought to be on nothing more than a leisurely stroll as she sauntered through the gardens, not really appearing as though she were one with duties to attend to instead seeming more like a bored maiden seeking something to entertain herself. With one of her delicate hands loosely holding a few strips of the cream colored fabric that made up the skirt of her gown, she swayed gracefully as she wove without apparent destination throughout the exterior gardens, her bare feet stepping lightly and her arms extending elegantly every so often to offer a light but affectionate touch to any number of the blossoms she passed as she went on her way. She had basically forgotten she wasn’t even alone as she sauntered through the gardens and it wasn’t until the attendant that was loyally following her with the cart of fruits and vegetables spoke that she was removed from her idle thoughts of nothing in particular and forced back into reality.

Pia released a soft little whine of annoyance at the fact that her dreamy state had been interrupted and somewhat roughly tossed down the edge of her skirt that she had been swinging playfully, “do you not have things to attend to other than following me around like a lost puppy?” the harsh tone of her words was somewhat diminished by the sweet sound of her voice as she turned her back on the attendant and continued on her way, “take the cart to the kitchens with strict instruction to save the seeds, intact,” while it was much more difficult to collect seeds from the citizens of the kingdom, at least she could ask of those that lived in the castle to save the seeds which were worth just as much as any precious metal, even if many would not recognize that. It may have been that Pia had a sentimental attachment to the plants she had placed so much effort in growing, but these lives of green were like her children and none that diminished their importance would escape her ire.

Also see this, BubbleButt BubbleButt , it's useful for your education.

Classic walls of text. Improper dialogue conduct. Some lines could've broken down. Few action, lessened impact, could've highlighted on the botanical parts a bit. The scene could've been described beforehand, dryly and with a pinch of external observation, slightly limited. Could've described how the place looked like with less vagueness, give the place a name, and keep the emotions to a laconic stature. That, and break down the massive lines. Too many adjectives in single sentences.

On the brighter side, it serves as a more basic foundation to upcoming builds, and emphasizes her concern for the empire, and the needs of people.

But other than that, it doesn't serve much.

And apparently, all I did, as you said, was add one 'shinier'. It's all that my post is made of, eh, skittle? One 'shinier' and not even a single thing more, huh?
 
Elephantom said:
Gaze upon your last post, Roleplay Skittle Roleplay Skittle , and humble yourself:

Despite the sun being high in the sky, the Dark Kingdom was shrouded in gloom. The unrelenting blanket of somber clouds and ceaseless fog only serving as an incessant reminder that these lands had been a blemish to the rest of the world, and that no one had wanted them, just as no one had wanted the beings that now inhabited them. Even the castle grounds could not escape the grim touch of the ever present darkness and mist which spread over the royal gardens that were not so much vast as they were bountiful, leaving them in bleaker shades of greens than they otherwise may have been. Despite the somewhat ominous atmosphere that was ever present, the external gardens were a veritable jungle of well-maintained, exotic looking blooms that would have been vibrantly bright colors in better light, some as large as an average Humanoid's head and others larger still. Water was a precious resource and every drop needed to be distributed with careful consideration, so there was more foliage and less grass with vegetation of only the most hardy varieties because despite being a kingdom lacking a proper water source and acquiring fresh water primarily through trade, the royals still needed a place to be at leisure as well as to entertain guests and visiting diplomats, they weren't savages after all.

The grounds around the greenhouses were virtually silent save for the sound of the wind rustling the leaves on the various plants that grew there and the somewhat disturbing call of a native bird, which sounded like a cross between a goat's bleat and a child's scream, occasionally echoing from an unknown location. The real hustle and bustle was occurring in the interior gardens, long cylindrical shaped buildings of glass which contained orchards, vineyards, forests, and any other type of vegetation that one would expect of a garden in practically any of the other kingdoms. Flowers and plants that had a harder time surviving harsher environments were carefully tended to here and flourished in the humidity that accumulated in the structures.

The glass buildings spanned miles of land, as was necessary in order to produce even the minimum amount of food that was necessary for a kingdom to survive on, and even still, more greenhouses were being added in anticipation of the imminent war. Everything in these structures was borrowed, even the dirt. Cassiopeia paid painstakingly close attention to the details to ensure the success of each crop and plant, as food was not her only objective, herbs for medicines were as well and given the rarity of some of the plant species native to the Dark Kingdom, Pia had taken it upon herself to procure, breed, and grow these special plants in hopes of the king’s people being able to offer them as a lucrative trade for other things the kingdom would need more.

The demoness of light could be thought to be on nothing more than a leisurely stroll as she sauntered through the gardens, not really appearing as though she were one with duties to attend to instead seeming more like a bored maiden seeking something to entertain herself. With one of her delicate hands loosely holding a few strips of the cream colored fabric that made up the skirt of her gown, she swayed gracefully as she wove without apparent destination throughout the exterior gardens, her bare feet stepping lightly and her arms extending elegantly every so often to offer a light but affectionate touch to any number of the blossoms she passed as she went on her way. She had basically forgotten she wasn’t even alone as she sauntered through the gardens and it wasn’t until the attendant that was loyally following her with the cart of fruits and vegetables spoke that she was removed from her idle thoughts of nothing in particular and forced back into reality.

Pia released a soft little whine of annoyance at the fact that her dreamy state had been interrupted and somewhat roughly tossed down the edge of her skirt that she had been swinging playfully, “do you not have things to attend to other than following me around like a lost puppy?” the harsh tone of her words was somewhat diminished by the sweet sound of her voice as she turned her back on the attendant and continued on her way, “take the cart to the kitchens with strict instruction to save the seeds, intact,” while it was much more difficult to collect seeds from the citizens of the kingdom, at least she could ask of those that lived in the castle to save the seeds which were worth just as much as any precious metal, even if many would not recognize that. It may have been that Pia had a sentimental attachment to the plants she had placed so much effort in growing, but these lives of green were like her children and none that diminished their importance would escape her ire.

Also see this, BubbleButt BubbleButt , it's useful for your education.

Classic walls of text. Improper dialogue conduct. Some lines could've broken down. Few action, lessened impact, could've highlighted on the botanical parts a bit. The scene could've been described beforehand, dryly and with a pinch of external observation, slightly limited. Could've described how the place looked like with less vagueness, give the place a name, and keep the emotions to a laconic stature. That, and break down the massive lines. Too many adjectives in single sentences.

On the brighter side, it serves as a more basic foundation to upcoming builds, and emphasizes her concern for the empire, and the needs of people.

But other than that, it doesn't serve much.

And apparently, all I did, as you said, was add one 'shinier'. It's all that my post is made of, eh, skittle? One 'shinier' and not even a single thing more, huh?
Click to expand...

I'm sorry, I didn't read any of this because I have to save my eyes for reading your walls of text.
 
Roleplay Skittle said:
All you do is insult... soooooo... why should I take anything from you? xD
Click to expand...

I didn't tell you to take anything from me, spittle. Just letting you know that berating someone over a single word ain't really a good thing. You throw insults, even when I tried to humbly write a critique, highlighting your good and bad parts.

You gave me a half-assed critique, I returned with a better one. All's fair here, to me.
 
Trying to pull other people into something you started, fancy that. lol I'm done with you, you don't have to read my posts, I don't care. I'm not here to impress you and your critique was unsolicited. xD
 
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