Jakk Bey
One Thousand Club
Little Joe--The term "vanilla" is used, because you seem to have a problem with anything other than "Brace Yourself Bridget!" as foreplay.
Joe, stories that interest people are stories that have characters that people can identify with.
How a character likes to have sex is essential often to building that character. It's included for a reason--at least if an editor is on their post. You include those details in a story when it is essential to understand that part of a character. You build scenarios to illustrate, to avoid massive amounts of exposition, to reveal that character.
In the case of a character who is sexually stunted, and trapped by his own sexuality--such as Buffallo Bill in Silence of the Lambs, it's a dman sight easier to build a scene to illustrate that, then a long boring montage of "inner thoughts".
In the case of a character like Tony Soprano, his dalliances are part of the character, and the conflict that arises as a wiseguy who loves and needs his wife, but is conflicted by his desires for other women, and the opportunity to indulge in them by his culture--the "goomah" isn't an invention of the writers of the Sopranos. That these ancilliary characters become important to the story line, and illustrate better than some tortured bit of expostion, it advances the story much better.
It's not social development that applaudes the examples that are used in The Sopranos, but the writer and audience member who appreciates that the folks who tell these tales have the ability to show rather than tell me what the character is. Â It's better story telling. It advances plot faster, and those details build a world, rather than bog it down with unneccessary exposition.
Show. Don't tell. It's one of the oldest rules in the book. That, and don't go on stage with kids or cute animals. Sexual situations, and sexuality show much better in a shorter time, because they are so dang universal. Folks understand a character who is cheating on his wife within a few pages of kissing her goodbye, or scene later, than a drawn out monologue, or a barely referenced description of an incident. You build a character out of scenes. Â Sometimes those incidents are also part of the plot, as well as fleshing out the character. Good writers include incidents that do both. Which is what The Sopranos do exceedingly well. That Curado Soprano is very good at cunnilingus, and his girlfriend blabbed it, nearly started a war.
As for the "specious" arguement. Read it again chief. Read your own words again. My argument was that your claims of maturity--which, I will admit were not made on this thread, but others--while ignoring themes is specious. Â Like a lot of your claims.
For a fella who likes to lob stupid a lot, damn you miss a lot.
As for panoply--you don't get out much do you? You don't understand the use of language. Try to look up metaphor. Panopoly of human expression. A varigated display. Â Come on Little Joe, you can do much better than that. When you resort to looking up the big words it's a bit telling.
Let's get back to your gambling motiff for a moment. Do you have gambling in your stories? Do people gamble in your games? Is that another aspect that folks don't get into?  Do your stories just not have people who gamble? Then you are ignoring a good plot hook. Doesn't mean that every tale has to revolve around everything, but soldiers tossing dice instead of watching the gate at rigid attention tells the players that these folks are bored, that security is  lax, that the officers aren't paying as much attention. One tiny detail like that, can reveal a lot. Same with those same gate guards making time with a local tart instead of their jobs.
The devil is in the details. You can use a tiny incident to illustrate much more than just saying that "security is lax and you can breeze on in." Instead you build a better scene.
That you can tell good stories without sex is possible. Many great stories don't have any sexual element at all, but to excise it from your tool box means that you are shorting yourself, and your players. If it's because it's a subject that you and your players aren't comfortable with, that's fine, but you have often cast aspersions on others who do. Who deal with sexual matters at all in fact. That is where the vanilla comment comes from. You have made a judgement call on several occasions about what others do, and talk about, not only in their games, but on these threads--mind you, as a compliment to Stillborn for ressurecting and porting the EC community, I'm including the old EC threads in this, because he saved the whole community in his portage.
It's not an obsession with sex, it's comfort in talking about it. It's fun. It's something that we share in common. Â What I object to with you in this case, is that you make judgements about folks' character for NOT sharing your view.
I don't care if you are vanilla. I don't really know that you are, but infer it from commentary that you have made several times about what is "sick" and "perverted". Â That's the sticking point. Â That you point out what you think is "sick" and thus has no value.
Me, I get creeped out by Furries. And Plushies. Not my thing, but then again neither is scat, but I don't call folks who are into scatplay "sick." It's not by cup of tea. If two fellas want to have sex with gal while wearing a horse costume, and everyone is clear and consentual, then more power to them. Not my thing, but if they're happy, then have at it. Â If your idea of foreplay is "Brace Yourself Bridgit!" and your partner is happy, then go for it. Not my thing either, but more power to you. Glad that you found a partner that is happy with it.
My commentary about your vanilla leanings is that you tend to make judgement calls when folks don't share your sexual tastes. It's in the somewhat sanctimonious stands that you tend to take in sexual matters. The charge of vanilla is less about what you do, as opposed to what you would rather have others talk about.
That you assume that folks who talk about sex don't have fufilling sex lives shows that. That in itself is a judgement of what others do.
As for the connectedness--that is another issue. It shows that distancing that I think is part of the problem with our society as whole. Lots and lots of individuals, seperated little islands, instead of folks who see each other as connected and part of a greater whole. Â It's not desperate. It's part of that pesky Buddhism thang. We are all bound. We all share experiences. We are all pretty much the same, and by revelling in that shared experience, by connecting with our fellows, by sharing compassion, we can improve our lot, instead of the slicing off of rafts of humanity. Â
You and I Joe are connected. We're both gamers. Exalted players and ST's. Members of this forum. Americans. Males. Humans. I celebrate the connections. Shared joys. We both enjoy gaming. We both enjoy pie. We both share joy with others. Â Those connections are grand things. We aren't that different--we have certain differences in opinion, and ways of looking at things, but deep down, we're very much the same.
Increasing connections makes it a damn sight harder to do bad things to one another. It's not so easy to be mean to your mother. Your sister. Your brother. Easier perhaps to be mean as heck to someone who is a stranger.
That's where our society is fraying. We have a leadership that likes to increase the disconnect between folks. Easier to justify bad things done to others. They aren't like us. They're different.
Truth is, we're all pretty much the same. Color. Nationality. Language. Class. Those are divides, but deep down, we all experience joy the same way, and pain. By bringing folks closer together, by illustrating those shared bonds, we can erase some of the abuses of the past, and prevent them in the future. By illustrating more of how much we are the same, we do our bit to understand the differences between us don't matter as much as some folks would rather you believe, for their own reasons.
One of the reasons that sex works so well in stories, is because it's so universal. Its a common experience that can erase some of the artificial boundaries.
I am uncomfortable about some of the judgements that you make about others, because it shows a level of disconnect that I think isn't healthy. Oddly enough, Joe, I'm actually kind of fond of you. You're basically a decent fella, who is close to becoming a better person, and fighting it tooth and nail. You're clinging to some preconceptions and dogma that inhibit your growth, and if I chide you, it's because I see some potential to be better, and I'll be glad to see it when it happens. Not because it will benefit me in any substantive sense, but because you will be a happier you. And you will be able to make others around you happier as well.
I don't chide you because I dislike you. I chide you because I think that you're on the cusp of being a better person. I wouldn't invest so much time in someone that I dislike.
Joe, stories that interest people are stories that have characters that people can identify with.
How a character likes to have sex is essential often to building that character. It's included for a reason--at least if an editor is on their post. You include those details in a story when it is essential to understand that part of a character. You build scenarios to illustrate, to avoid massive amounts of exposition, to reveal that character.
In the case of a character who is sexually stunted, and trapped by his own sexuality--such as Buffallo Bill in Silence of the Lambs, it's a dman sight easier to build a scene to illustrate that, then a long boring montage of "inner thoughts".
In the case of a character like Tony Soprano, his dalliances are part of the character, and the conflict that arises as a wiseguy who loves and needs his wife, but is conflicted by his desires for other women, and the opportunity to indulge in them by his culture--the "goomah" isn't an invention of the writers of the Sopranos. That these ancilliary characters become important to the story line, and illustrate better than some tortured bit of expostion, it advances the story much better.
It's not social development that applaudes the examples that are used in The Sopranos, but the writer and audience member who appreciates that the folks who tell these tales have the ability to show rather than tell me what the character is. Â It's better story telling. It advances plot faster, and those details build a world, rather than bog it down with unneccessary exposition.
Show. Don't tell. It's one of the oldest rules in the book. That, and don't go on stage with kids or cute animals. Sexual situations, and sexuality show much better in a shorter time, because they are so dang universal. Folks understand a character who is cheating on his wife within a few pages of kissing her goodbye, or scene later, than a drawn out monologue, or a barely referenced description of an incident. You build a character out of scenes. Â Sometimes those incidents are also part of the plot, as well as fleshing out the character. Good writers include incidents that do both. Which is what The Sopranos do exceedingly well. That Curado Soprano is very good at cunnilingus, and his girlfriend blabbed it, nearly started a war.
As for the "specious" arguement. Read it again chief. Read your own words again. My argument was that your claims of maturity--which, I will admit were not made on this thread, but others--while ignoring themes is specious. Â Like a lot of your claims.
For a fella who likes to lob stupid a lot, damn you miss a lot.
As for panoply--you don't get out much do you? You don't understand the use of language. Try to look up metaphor. Panopoly of human expression. A varigated display. Â Come on Little Joe, you can do much better than that. When you resort to looking up the big words it's a bit telling.
Let's get back to your gambling motiff for a moment. Do you have gambling in your stories? Do people gamble in your games? Is that another aspect that folks don't get into?  Do your stories just not have people who gamble? Then you are ignoring a good plot hook. Doesn't mean that every tale has to revolve around everything, but soldiers tossing dice instead of watching the gate at rigid attention tells the players that these folks are bored, that security is  lax, that the officers aren't paying as much attention. One tiny detail like that, can reveal a lot. Same with those same gate guards making time with a local tart instead of their jobs.
The devil is in the details. You can use a tiny incident to illustrate much more than just saying that "security is lax and you can breeze on in." Instead you build a better scene.
That you can tell good stories without sex is possible. Many great stories don't have any sexual element at all, but to excise it from your tool box means that you are shorting yourself, and your players. If it's because it's a subject that you and your players aren't comfortable with, that's fine, but you have often cast aspersions on others who do. Who deal with sexual matters at all in fact. That is where the vanilla comment comes from. You have made a judgement call on several occasions about what others do, and talk about, not only in their games, but on these threads--mind you, as a compliment to Stillborn for ressurecting and porting the EC community, I'm including the old EC threads in this, because he saved the whole community in his portage.
It's not an obsession with sex, it's comfort in talking about it. It's fun. It's something that we share in common. Â What I object to with you in this case, is that you make judgements about folks' character for NOT sharing your view.
I don't care if you are vanilla. I don't really know that you are, but infer it from commentary that you have made several times about what is "sick" and "perverted". Â That's the sticking point. Â That you point out what you think is "sick" and thus has no value.
Me, I get creeped out by Furries. And Plushies. Not my thing, but then again neither is scat, but I don't call folks who are into scatplay "sick." It's not by cup of tea. If two fellas want to have sex with gal while wearing a horse costume, and everyone is clear and consentual, then more power to them. Not my thing, but if they're happy, then have at it. Â If your idea of foreplay is "Brace Yourself Bridgit!" and your partner is happy, then go for it. Not my thing either, but more power to you. Glad that you found a partner that is happy with it.
My commentary about your vanilla leanings is that you tend to make judgement calls when folks don't share your sexual tastes. It's in the somewhat sanctimonious stands that you tend to take in sexual matters. The charge of vanilla is less about what you do, as opposed to what you would rather have others talk about.
That you assume that folks who talk about sex don't have fufilling sex lives shows that. That in itself is a judgement of what others do.
As for the connectedness--that is another issue. It shows that distancing that I think is part of the problem with our society as whole. Lots and lots of individuals, seperated little islands, instead of folks who see each other as connected and part of a greater whole. Â It's not desperate. It's part of that pesky Buddhism thang. We are all bound. We all share experiences. We are all pretty much the same, and by revelling in that shared experience, by connecting with our fellows, by sharing compassion, we can improve our lot, instead of the slicing off of rafts of humanity. Â
You and I Joe are connected. We're both gamers. Exalted players and ST's. Members of this forum. Americans. Males. Humans. I celebrate the connections. Shared joys. We both enjoy gaming. We both enjoy pie. We both share joy with others. Â Those connections are grand things. We aren't that different--we have certain differences in opinion, and ways of looking at things, but deep down, we're very much the same.
Increasing connections makes it a damn sight harder to do bad things to one another. It's not so easy to be mean to your mother. Your sister. Your brother. Easier perhaps to be mean as heck to someone who is a stranger.
That's where our society is fraying. We have a leadership that likes to increase the disconnect between folks. Easier to justify bad things done to others. They aren't like us. They're different.
Truth is, we're all pretty much the same. Color. Nationality. Language. Class. Those are divides, but deep down, we all experience joy the same way, and pain. By bringing folks closer together, by illustrating those shared bonds, we can erase some of the abuses of the past, and prevent them in the future. By illustrating more of how much we are the same, we do our bit to understand the differences between us don't matter as much as some folks would rather you believe, for their own reasons.
One of the reasons that sex works so well in stories, is because it's so universal. Its a common experience that can erase some of the artificial boundaries.
I am uncomfortable about some of the judgements that you make about others, because it shows a level of disconnect that I think isn't healthy. Oddly enough, Joe, I'm actually kind of fond of you. You're basically a decent fella, who is close to becoming a better person, and fighting it tooth and nail. You're clinging to some preconceptions and dogma that inhibit your growth, and if I chide you, it's because I see some potential to be better, and I'll be glad to see it when it happens. Not because it will benefit me in any substantive sense, but because you will be a happier you. And you will be able to make others around you happier as well.
I don't chide you because I dislike you. I chide you because I think that you're on the cusp of being a better person. I wouldn't invest so much time in someone that I dislike.