Fandom Into the fire (1x1 MzHyde/Gallifrog)

[MzHyde]

Fia and Kay just waited until Cal finally spoke up, asking her question in the only way she clearly could. Like the others, both of them were expecting Zan to either fumble with his words like he did as he spoke of his ex wife or just try to avoid it all together by making Cal clarify what 'it' was that she was referring to. So when he just said his answer bluntly and clearly it threw them both off guard to say the least. Neither knew how else to react to the confirmation of Dan's earlier findings, just letting Jay be the next one to speak up with her own question, to which Zan seemed to answer with the same tone as he answered Cal's question. They both listened carefully to every word he spoke, finding that the assumption of him having survivors guilty and ptsd at one stage completely and utterly logical considering what he had gone through on his home planet.

Hearing John ask for more specifics however wasn't something they were fully expecting. They were expecting John to grill Zan on it in some form, but the wording of his actual question did make Fia and Kay side eye John before glancing back at Zan. The moment Zan made a clear reference to John's own scars on his arms the two of them instantly felt themselves tense up a bit, ready to give him a piece of their mind if his comment didn't sit well with John. Fia in particular was highly protective of her father, just as ins her timeline how her parents were protective of her. They scrutinised every little move Zan made as he explained how he attempted to kill himself before someone came along and saved his life. Fia didn't like what she was being told, but she was strangely glad someone saved Zan, as it meant all this information to help Elliott was coming to light. Yet she still found herself glaring slightly at Zan for making a mention of her dad's scars down his arms.

She may have never had the conversation with her dad about his suicide which sent him to Hell, but it didn't take a genius to know those arm scars were from an suicide attempt. "I'd hardly say it was an unfortunate thing" Fia scoffed before continuing, "you piled all that evidence together to help Elliott with your life...saving you created something right to be done" she finished, making a point that his birth son was a worthy cause to be alive for.

 

[_gallifrog_]

Cliff couldn't help but visibly wince at the location Zan chose to cut himself. She'd seen wounds in that area before, both accidental and intentional and they'd been far from pretty, blood spurting everywhere. As the spot contained an artery rather than a vein the blood was pumped through the vessel at greater speed and pressure. Slitting it was a far more effective way of attempting to kill yourself than going for the arm. In her professional opinion Zan had been beyond lucky that somebody had found him and prevented him from bleeding out. Had his rescuer been even half a minute later she didn't think he'd have made it. Clearly Zan thought different however, there was no trace of a lie in his eyes, the man meant it when he said it was unfortunate that he'd been saved. To Cliff it gave a real insight into just how suicidal he really was and just how little regard he had for his own life.

Her wife's reaction was all the proof Cal needed that Zan wasn't having them on. She believed Zan's whole story, he had many, many flaws, but she really didn't think he could lie about something like this. There was something about his eyes as he spoke that betrayed a deeper pain in the man. For Elliott, the story matched up with what he knew from his childhood. Ever since all the revelations about Zan had come to light he'd been retreating more and more frequently into his childhood memories to watch them again, seeking any signs that could corroborate or disprove his birth father's words. He hadn't seen any signs of depression in the man, there was doubt in Elliott mind that Zan had been happy as a father. The Zan in front of them now was very different from the one Elliott remembered from his early years (the pre-brainwashing years) and not for the first time he wondered how different things could have been had Zan not been brainwashed or if Attil's magic-related laws had been different.

John on the other hand wasn't massively offended by the way Zan referred to his scars. He may not have liked that the man was referencing them, but at the same time, they were a very noticeable feature once you looked past the ink. And compared to the way many others had reacted to them (shock, horror, disgust, pity) and asked about them (bluntly, rudely, with voices filled with horror, shrieking as if it was the end of the world) Zan's was practically polite. But it was Zan, so John was pissed off anyway. Some part of him was also illogically annoyed about the fact that Zan's method offing himself had been very similar to his own, he didn't want to have anything in common with the man dammit!

At Fia's words Zan fixed her look, a look she knew all too well from both this timeline's Elliott and her own timeline's Elliott- the one he always gave her when he didn't believe a word she was saying. John saw the look too and was taken aback by just how similar his adoptive son and Zan looked. Most of the time he could ignore the similarities, make Zan just another arsehole between John and his goals, but with that look on his face John was rudely reminded of the relationship between the two. "I may have volunteered to bring this whole shit-show to light, but if I hadn't lived, it would have been somebody else doing all this, somebody else having this conversation. The extent of the brainwashing, the fact that brainwashing was being used in the first place even was more than enough proof to warrant sending in some other agent to dig deeper" he paused, then tipped his head sideways slightly in consideration. "But if you still think what you said is true when this all over and the information has been released to the wild, tell me again and maybe I'll listen."

 

[MzHyde]

Fia looked right at Zan back when he gave her the look. A look that she indeed know all too well and like with John, it amazed her how much like Elliott he looked when giving her the look. She hated he looked so much like her brother also, just as much as she always hated that look of 'I don't believe you'. She also knew even without looking at her father that John would be a bit taken aback and hating the sheer uncanny likeness to Elliott Zan currently had. They all knew well enough how much John wanted to try and mentally distance Elliott and Zan, to pretend that Zan wasn't in the slightest bit related to Elliott, but in this very second, very moment it was sheerly impossible to do. She listened to what Zan told her back, rolling her eyes at his words. To her, it was like hearing when future John was being close to giving up in finding Kay because so many leads were failing them both. How future John just sat there drowning his sorrows whilst it turned out Kay was suffering in the void. All whilst she refused to give up and kept lecturing him to get out of his slump and bring her mother home. "I don't say anything I don't mean and I'm stubborn enough to never go back on my word" she replied to him.

Kay during this whole chat was making note of how everyone was reacting to everything. Cliff's reaction to the description of Zan's suicide attempt told her Zan was definitely telling the truth, as did Zan's tone. She hated all this talk of suicide but she knew it needed to be done. She, unlike Fia, did notice the annoyance emitting from John over absolutely everything whilst also listening to Zan reply to Fia whilst looking uncannily like Elliott. She couldn't help it when Fia's response to Zan made her smirk slightly, finding that yet again Fia proved she could always find something to say and that it'd be difficult to make her not have the last word. She also smirked because from what they grew to know about Fia, that there was no way Fia was lying about being stubborn enough to not go back on her word and opinion. Especially an opinion about someone saving another being from death. Fia took saving someone from death, whether it to be self inflicted or murder very seriously and never joked or half arsed her opinions on it. Nearly losing her mother in her time made Fia never want to lose someone in her family ever again. "I'd believe her in the stubborn comment if I was you. I'd say she's worse than us all put together" Kay remarked.

 

[_gallifrog_]

John could practically see Fia bristling at both Zan's words and the look he gave her. He so badly wanted to punch the man because he was so insufferable, but couldn't because with that expression it would be too much like punching Elliott (and as a child abuse survivor the notion of him punching Elliott was the last thing John wanted lurking on his conscience). It was as if everything that the man did just got under John's skin. If all John had known of the man was his breathing it would have annoyed him in some way or another, that's how deep John's hatred for the man ran. Zan was hardly trying to endear himself to them either, today's tactic of being both prickly and blunt was just as bad as last night's. "Isn't that always the case with the youngest in any group? Zan asked rhetorically, raising an eyebrow

"More to the point what's the next step in this plan of yours?" Cal asked, waving a hand at the others indicating they should be quiet and let the subject drop as there was something else she wished to grill her father on. She crossed her arms again in the same defensive way as earlier. They could debate all day whether or not it was a good thing Zan was doing with his life, whether it was a good or bad thing that somebody had found him before he bled out and died, but there were more important things she wanted answers to. "Once the information is out, what happens next?"

Zan gave a slight shrug in response. "That part of my plan is less concrete. I have to admit, I didn't spend a great deal of time thinking about after, given how convinced I was, and still am, that I wouldn't be around to see it. You've" by which he meant everybody except Dan who hand't been present when the news about what had really happened to Cal and Elliott's mother initially broke "seen Mara's body and the calling card that the killer left. There's at least one person out there intent on killing me. I fully expect that number to increase exponentially after the information comes out. Once that information is out I'll have no control over what happens to it and who sees it. All that can be done is spread it more- Bec and another will help with that. If I'm still alive intend to stand fully behind it no matter what. And if somebody does take me out after the information gets released I intend to make sure that all it will do is just throw the case even more further into the quadrant's spotlight."

 

[MzHyde]

If someone had said to Fia that it'd take one simple statement of one thing or another said to Zan that would create just the right reply from Zan to trigger John's justified need to punch the man, she would actually bieve it. She didn't have any intent on trying to gain such a response from Zan but that didn't mean she wasn't also going to speak her mind. She also could tell that John was holding back with great restraint when it came to Zan, knowing that whilst the man before them looked so much like Elliott, there was no way he would punch him and she really couldn't blame him for making that internal decision. Yet it was now her turn to use great restraint when it came to Zan as he said his reply to Kay. She hated just being seen as 'the youngest of a group' as in her eyes it was just showing said people didn't take her seriously or see her as anything but a kid. Someone who didn't know any better or able to be just as much of a threat as anyone else in their family and that always pissed her off.

She kept her mouth shut, as did Kay when Cal gave her words out and signal for everyone to shut up and let her speak again. She respected Cal greatly and if she wanted to take charge of the situation again, Fia was damn well going to let her. Kay was of the same opinion as Fia, that they promised Cal they wouldn't stop her from taking the lead in talking and it was time they went back to those words. Kay could also see how much Zan's words annoyed Fia, recognising that annoyance in the teenager of not being taken seriously. It was one thing she was finally seeing that similar to herself, having also in her younger days, expressed that same body language when she was never treated like an young adult, or truly acknowledged. As Zan replied to Cal, she gently lifted her hand behind Fia and gently patted her back in a manner that said 'just let it go Fia...trust me'. As she did it she felt a muscle in Fia's back twitch from the unexpected touch of support but Fia refused to let it show outwardly that she appreciated it. Instead she just side eyed her mother to say 'thank you' with her eyes.

With what Zan was saying it wasn't of any surprise that once it all came out that the suspect list for who would want to be Zan's hitman would grow from one to many. What was of slight surprise to Kay was that Zan never thought much passed getting the information out into the public eye. She would have penned him for being the type of person who would have thought it thoroughly through from beginning to end, but it seemed that wasnt actually the case at all. Her and Fia just nodded at his words, deciding that it was best to not say another word and just let Cal continue doing the talking.

 

[_gallifrog_]

When Cal asked what she did Elliott nodded agreement, also wanting an answer to that question. It was clear that Zan had made all kinds of redundancies for releasing the information to the greater public as well as spent years gathering and located all the classified files and documents and following all the trails necessary to prove without a shadow of a doubt what was going on in the underbelly of the Attilian government. But not once had the man ever mentioned himself when it came to after. He'd mentioned his sister would release it if he was to die and the dead man switch wasn't triggered, but apart from that...... nothing. Even though Elliott was far from close to Zan, he still felt a certain twinge of sadness when the man said he didn't expect to be around after. Hearing that Zan would back up the information to his last breath was a relief of sorts, this was Zan's work after all, the man knew it far better than anybody else did and with his perfect visual recall it wasn't an exaggeration to say he knew it so well he could recite off whole documents if necessary.

Cal was also taken aback to hear that Zan had made no real plans for after. She'd taken him to be very much a planner and a strategist, the pinboards in the safe-house and the way the files were organised in the various boxes spoke of a great underlying order and the logical way yesterday that he laid out all the information and evidence he'd discovered showed he had a very organised mind about all this. She and Elliott both gave very slight nods when he mentioned the calling card on their mother's body- the message had been written in Daruxi (Zan's native language), but the Attili translation made it perfectly clear that their father could expect to have his brains blown out at some point in the near future.

John was too wrapped up in his own thoughts, and making sure that his face continued to display some form of annoyance, aggression or scepticism towards Zan to fully pay attention to what was going on with Fia. As was often the case his own cloud of emotions was blocking anything that might be coming through their bond. He was aware of Kay comforting Fia in the form of a pat on the back, but his brain was too busy dealing with other things to acknowledge the significance of such a moment. Cliff however did notice and note the event.

It was Dan who spoke next (in Attili), with a question that seemed to come completely out of nowhere, but actually made perfect sense when you knew that he was an empath. Information was good and all, but in order for Dan to get a read on somebody he needed answers to more personal questions. He was trying to build an emotionally accurate picture of the man and due to being only a low-level empath he needed to catch the person in question off guard. "So what would you have done after then if you're life wasn't shit, you weren't suicidal and these two" he gestured between Cal and Cliff "weren't around." Zan gave the man a surprised look, having not expected that one. "Just answer the question." Cal told him, forcefully, knowing why Dan was asking. Zan considered the question for a good minute, eyebrows furrowing together slightly. He then gave a shrug "probably upped, changed my name again, then left and done the stereotype travel the stars with no definite plan teenage gap year style thing. Or at the very least moved somewhere with a decent ocean."

 

[MzHyde]

Kay and Fia continued keeping quiet, Fia glancing at Dan when he spoke up, understanding enough words (not all) of his question to Zan to know what was being asked. She found the question an interesting one but keeping in mind that Dan was an empath, finding it made some sense to her but not entirely. Yet she didn't mind it didn't make complete sense as it wasn't her being asked and so it didn't matter if she didn't fully understand. What mattered was if Cal understood and Zan could actually answer the question. Kay was only picking up one or two words from having heard the others speak in Attili for the last few weeks, but her main focus was how it clearly caught Zan off guard before he could find an answer to give. Both her and Fia listened to Zan's answer, hearing that he would just up and leave. Either option came to the same thing at the bottom of it all in Fia's eyes, making her see that no matter what Zan would always pick the running away option.

She found herself having to really bite her tongue to stop herself from scoffing, rolling her eyes and make some remark or another as she really did want to keep her word to Cal. She also didn't want to give Zan more reasons to think of her as just a stubborn kid was compiling her opinion of him through the others. It wasn't rhe case at all, but after the other comment to Kay about her, that was exactly what she had summarised from Zan. Both Kay and herself also was all too aware that John was putting his effort and focus into staring Zan down in the most annoyed and threatening manner he could possibly muster, but not how Cliff had moments ago noted Kay's silent actions toward her daughter. Unlike Fia, Kay wasn't putting as much effort into holding back her opinions to Zan's answer toward Dan, finding. It surprisingly easy to hold her tongue and remain quiet. She kept her thoughts to herself and quite frankly was reaching a point where it didn't matter what they asked the man, he would always come out with something more frustrating and annoying than before as well as just showing himself to be more and more of a disappointment to his kids. To her he was just proving to be another deadbeat dad, even if Elliott was getting the odd twangs of getting where Zan was coming from or feeling tiny hints of sympathy for the bloke, she just couldn't accept anything coming from his mouth.

 

[_gallifrog_]

John had absolutely no idea why Dan was asking the question that he was, but there was no way in Hells he was going to let such a thing show on his face. Having a united front was absolutely vital, and John in no way wanted the other man to think that there was any form of division or tension in their group. The blacksmith could have said the most abhorrent, repulsive thing ever (that under normal circumstances John never would have agreed with) and john would have acted like he completely backed up the man just to ensure that he was on the side that Zan wasn't. He did let out a vindictive smirk that somebody had finally managed to shock Zan with a question. Maybe the other man had been blocking his emotions up until now using some method similar to the one Jay had been taught, but it was a relief of sorts to see that Zan was in fact able to be shocked and not just some mindless robot.

Had Dan not included 'if Cal and Elliott were not around' in the phrasing of his hypothetical question, John would have been incredibly pissed off at the man's answer and probably would finally have lost his rag with the man. He didn't think Zan should just up and vanish from his kids life again (conveniently ignoring the fact that Zan was far from an important part of either Cal or Elliott's lives at this moment in time). Neither Cal nor Elliott knew what to think of the answer, they'd both spent considerable time thinking about what their life would have been like without their father being in it at all- where they might have gone and what kind of people they could have ended up. Having the tables flipped like this was interesting to say the least. Their father had evidently given considerable thought to Dan's hypothetical question judging by the long silence in which everybody stared at him intently.

"Though that's of course impossible in this reality." Zan added, when nobody else spoke up. "Dakkon or one of his minions would doubtless track me down and either shoot me in the head as I know too much an cannot be trusted or shove me on to some other mission or another in some segment of the universe where my face isn't known. And besides, everything important to me bar two, is here. Only way I'll leave this planet is in a funeral urn."

 

[MzHyde]

John's smirk didn't go amiss on either Fia or Kay, both knowing that seeing Zan get shocked or taken off guard in any sense would delight John immensely. Not that either of them could blame John for being delighted at seeing such a thing happen, as they were sure none of their group could have seen Zan being shocked as a viable thing happening, at least not by any of them. They kept up their usual lack of reactions as it all went on, listening to Zan as he spoke up yet again explaining how none of his choices would be a viable option, and hearing why it wouldn't ever happen how he wanted, they had to admit it did make a lot of sense. They did however find his last couple of comments rather interesting to hear. Hearing that everything important to him bar two things were here, both of them had to hope Cal and Elliott were part of those important things.

"I hope your kids are top of that list of important things" Kay couldn't help but remark, even though she was trying to not say anything, as she vindictively didn't want that to be the case, not because she disliked Elliott and Cal, far from it, but because she knew if they were considered important to Zan then it would make everything so much easier for the siblings to just close so much of their past and move forward with their lives. She just didn't want what she said to be worded any other way. She was also dealing with unborn Fia kicking like she was in the Premier league and that pain was proving to be highly inconvient ill timed, so if focusing that inconvenience onto Zan remotely helped psychologically then she would damn well try it. With Kay saying what she did, Fia really had to try even harder not to say 'or do you think your kids are as unimportant as any other kid?' unable to fully let go of the earlier comments like her mother wanted her to.

 

[_gallifrog_]

Jay had to admit that the man had a point. One didn't simply stop being a spook, once you were in, you were in for life. You died on the job, you died for the job or you died because of the job. Elliott's mother was proof of that, she'd been shot on the job because of her involvement with Zan and the spook mission on Attil. It was why both she and her brother had refused Dakkon's offers. If he was to attempt to vanish she had no doubt that he would be hunted down like a dog- a rogue spook was dangerous, they knew too much, sometimes information from the future that could cause complete chaos in the wrong hands. Cal, Elliott and Dan meanwhile were all torn. It would be undoubtedly easier if Zan was to leave their lives. But if he was to run like a coward? It would just create more questions and turmoil than it would answers and peace. As much as they were reluctant to admit it, having him in their lives and actually getting answers was cathartic, and helping both kids to get closure (no matter how shocking the answers were).

Kay's question was the one on everybody's mind, all eyes flicking first to Kay, then to Zan to see how he'd answer it. Saying they weren't would take all kinds of balls, but would also result in the whole room trying to murder the man as it was so insulting. You didn't tell your kids you didn't give a toss about them to their face not even in jest,. John had been told that uncountable times by his own father, and if Zan was going to go down that route, John was more than happy to chuck him out of a window for it. To have Zan say he didn't care, to their faces would be the final straw for Cal and Elliott, the definitive proof that there was no point even attempting to build bridges with the man and that it was best to treat him as a source of (admittedly very useful) information and a source of information only. Zan's reply was instantaneous "yes, they are, always have been" the same conviction in his tone as when he was explaining the extent of the corruption of the Attilian government.

"So who're the other two then? These important off worlders who came to mind before Cal and Ell?" John asked, narrowing his eyes at the man. It was all fine and good that Zan was saying Elliott and Cal were still important to him (whether the siblings believed his words was another matter altogether) but the fact that he'd mentioned two other people unprompted and he had to be specifically asked about his kids wasn't sitting right with John. Who could there possibly be off world that meant anything to Zan? Let alone warrant such a high place in his mind. All but one of the man's family hated his guts and wished him dead (a view John was definitely sharing in this moment- Ell's life would have been so much easier if Zan just hadn't been around). "Mara and Bec" the man replied. "In that order" he added.

"Wait" Cal shook her head in incomprehension, holding up one finger in the air in the universal gesture of 'don't talk until I've gathered my thoughts, making a shushing gesture at Elliott when he opened his mouth to ask something. Elliott shut his mouth, he'd said he'd let Cal take the lead on this one and he was going to live up to that promised. "You're saying mu...." Cal caught herself before she could say 'mum', not wanting to say that as it would remind both her, Elliott and Zan of a time when Zan had been 'da' and not public enemy number one. "Our mother" she corrected herself, gesturing between herself and Elliott "isn't buried here on Attil?" There was a unmistakable fragility in her voice, which was echoed in Elliott's eyes as they awaited the answer. "She isn't here" Zan confirmed, his voice both quieter and softer. "She.... wanted to be buried off-world, on Zweite." A glance to the Earth born portion of the group, as he added by means of explanation. "Attil's second moon- the dark rock one."

 

[MzHyde]

Kay didn't think she'd be the only one thinking the question she asked, but she didn't expect all eyes to flicker to her before back at Zan because of said question. She kept her facial expression rather blank as it had been the entire time, despite what she asked. Like John, she had been on the receiving end of callous and cold words from a parent, granted for not nearly as long as John had been, but still been on that end nonetheless and it hurt like utter Hell to be told she didn't matter anymore and that she was only relevant when her mother was alive. It was then the random side thought and realisation that she left her old photos on the coffee table back at Cal and Cliff's apartment in full view for everyone to see when they got back, making her mentally curse herself for not putting them back. She let Zan reply to her question and noted the tone in which he gave the answer. She didn't know whether to believe him or take it as a case of him saying what they wanted to hear in a professional manner because he knew that's what they wanted to hear.

She glanced at John when he alsed his follow up question before she could think of asking it, she could see just how much these two other mysterious people were being put above Zan's kids didn't sit well with John at all. She couldn't blame him as it didn't particularly sit well with her either because she couldn't imagine ever putting anyone in front of her kid now she was having her own child. As Zan gave his answer to John's query, she looked at the man once more before glancing at Cal as she began to react to the answer then needing a second to gather herself before continuing on. She heard the two of them out, noting how Elliott went to speak but was gestured not to, then watched Zan's whole body language as he gave Cal the answer she so needed. Hearing that the siblings' mother wasn't even buried on Attil could have only been a shock to the two of them. It was one piece of information that she could understand how Cal and Elliott must have felt as she herself didn't even know where exactly her own mother died or where she now remained, if there were even any remains to be buried anywhere. At the explanation of where or what Zweite was, her (and Fia) just nodded in new understanding.

 

[_gallifrog_]

Hearing that the only things off world that held any importance to Zan were his sister and his now dead, somewhat ex- there had been divorce papers, but going by what the man had said the other day, the two had got back in contact after he'd been unbrainwashed- wife made a lot of sense to Cliff. They'd already seen that Zan really did love his younger sister. The stuttering and the way he had to force himself to explain what had happened to Mara had also told her that there was still love there. The shock however was that Mara's body was not on Attil. Unlike Zan she was actually fully Devra and had grown up on Attil (though on the complete opposite side of the planet to the one they were on now). It also made sense to Dan, as somebody who'd been a father and lost his partner, he could both see and feel the grief he'd been through in the man's demeanour and eyes, even if the others couldn't. Dan was certain that when it came to this, the man was telling the truth. Even John, to an extent could see why those two had come to the other man's mind do quickly. He always thought of Cheryl when listing the important people in his life, and depending on his mood would add Zatana to that list (it may not have worked out between them, but there was far too much history and still some sexual tension remaining for him not to count her). Not that he was going to let Zan on to this fact. He was going to let Cal and Elliott take the lead on this one.... they were after all the only two who knew Mara.

"Why Zweite?" Elliott blurted out, unable to keep either the shock or the curiosity out of his voice. "She couldn't possibly have been from there, it's lifeless." At the same time Cal also spoke "don't you need a heck load of special permits and approvals to be buried there?" Now that both knew there was a grave to visit, they wanted to visit it, pay their respects in some form or another. She'd been a good parent to them both. Zan chose to answer Cal's question first, starting with a nod. "Yes, you do need to go through all kinds of bureaucratic hoops to get permission to be buried there, but Mara had done that years ago. This wasn't just some spur of the moment thing, it was something she'd wanted for years...." he paused, tipping his head sideways in thought."How much d'you know about her family?" "Very little." "Pretty much only what you've told us." Cal added.

"Well her parents hate her almost as strongly as my family hates me. They were extremely religious, part of one of those weird, borderline-cult things." The face Zan made when explaining the type of religion was identical to the ones of disapproval and 'oh those fuckheads' that Cal and Elliott made. The groups in question were exactly like their equivalents on Earth- toxic and controlling. "And Mara....." Zan gave a shrug, followed by a fond smile (And actual smile as opposed to the half one he'd given when speaking about his sister) "well she was far from a mindless follower. She rebelled against all the rules, making it her business to be the exact opposite of the perfect daughter image that was being forced on her- she became a sky-thief." Another glance toward the earth group as he explained "that's a type of catburglar who uses ropes, high flying drones and climbing gear to break into the very top floor of high-rise buildings and vandalise them. But the rebellion that made the most impact was the fact that she got really into to all the traditional Attil myths- the heroic sagas of the gods, the elemental creation myths. The original versions in Old Attili to be exact- she was the only teenager I ever knew that was pretty much fluent in Old Attili. The language, along with the sagas was what she wanted to study at university, and would have, had it not been for the spooks... she got caught breaking in somewhere she really shouldn't have been and was facing either life or death. They offered her a deal out, but that's besides the point." Zan waved a hand in a very typical parent gesture of 'story for another time'. "Her favourite was the story of how Attil got it's moons, though I always thought it was a particularly depressing one and she wanted to be buried there originally as a 'fuck you' to her family, but after..... everything it was because she felt her life was imitating the stories."

 

[MzHyde]

Fia was glad that Elliott asked why such a place to be buried as the moment she heard it was a dark rock moon, she couldn't help but wonder someone would want to be buried on a moon, yet she felt it wasn't her place to question it. As for the people put high up on someone's list, she didn't even think about each of their own lists, let alone John's. Yet if she had thought about it, she could only have put her father, Sam and Elliott in that list. She would have put her mother if it wasn't for the fact she spent so much of her growing up being at logger heads with her. Yet now it was getting better thanks to meeting her younger self, she could put Kay up on the list eventually. Whereas Kay could only truly put Sam on her own list, though the way she was learning to love John, she wouldn't have put it passed her mind to add him to it. Even if John wouldn't put her on his own list at this stage of their 'relationship'.

They both listened to Zan explain about Mara, who she was whilst giving a more in depth explanation of what her pre-spook 'career' was. They both honestly found it rather fascinating and could a understand why someone would want to rebel from such a lifestyle, not that either of them let it show to anyone in the group, especially Zan. Myths always fascinated Fia from the moment she was able to properly read and know what the word 'myth' even meant. That fascination only grew when she discovered she herself would be considered a myth, even if she tried to rebel against what she was for a very long time. Kay always found myths interesting but the fascination wasn't nearly as big as it was for Fia. Her growth for wanting to learn more only started growing a little bit when Elliott and John told her what she was. "I can see her way of thinking" Kay simply commented, the very bit of information making her wonder if her own mother had somewhere in mind to die and if she even got it or did she just die somewhere alone and grotty. The latter was a painful thought for her and she truly hoped that when she was murdered, her mother had just enough life left in her to seek some kind calming place to die. Little did she know, that wasn't the case at all and her own mother's death was far far from pleasant.

She also found herself understanding the whole 'life imitating the stories' remark as she felt like her own life was doing just that. Fia noticed out the corner of her Kay almost going into her thoughts, as she knew from her timeline what that very tic looked like. To someone like Zan, Kay would look like all her focus was still in the room, however to Fia she knew Kay mentally was anywhere but in the room. There was a distance in her eyes and an aura about her that told her Kay was deep in thoughts.

 

[_gallifrog_]

As much as Cal and Elliott were loathe to admit it, they were hanging on to Zan's every word as he explained why exactly their mother had chosen such a desolate place as her burial site. Cal couldn't help but raise an eyebrow when Zan said that Mara's family hated her as much as Zan's family hated him. Either she'd done something spectacularly bad, her family had completely overreached to or misunderstood something (like Zan's had) or some combination of the two. Whatever it was, it was certainly a side to her mother she'd never been allowed to see, and now that she was dead, never would. The idea that their mother could speak Old Attili fluently as a teenager was quite frankly gob smacking, the language was a pain in the ass to learn. Mara liking all the old stories and sags wasn't as much of a surprise, it had been her who'd first educated Cal and Elliott in the rich mythological lore of Attil and both had numerous memories of sitting, enthralled as their mother told the story, their father off to the side equally gripped by the story and staring at Mara with adoration in his eyes. The way Zan spoke about Mara, the fond smile he couldn't keep of his face, it told the siblings volumes. The love they'd seen between their parents as kids had been real and this was the proof that it still lived on in Zan.

It was Jay's turn to raise an impressed eyebrow when Mara's chosen choice of rebellion against the oppressive cult life she'd been forced into came to light. She knew of sky thieves, one of the woman's greatest regrets was that she'd never been able to become one herself, having never lived for long enough in a high rise mega city with tall enough buildings to gain the trust of a sky rat pack. She was liking the sound of Elliott's mother more and more, and couldn't help but wonder what it was that had drove this free-spirited rebellious woman to Zan. Was it being forced to work together thing like her and Elliott where opposites attracted and love ended up triumphing over hate? Or had it been a case of like and like? Had there been some rebellious spark in Zan that had since been damped? The man was a rule-breaker no doubt about that, who knows how many laws he'd broken these past nine years chasing leads, and how many of those offences were considered treasonous? The man would face the death penalty, not life imprisonment in some hell hole. And the government would make an example of him

"So... are you supposed to be buried on Einze? To complete the myth I mean?" Elliott asked having dropped any pretence that he wasn't curious, he damn well was. They may have come here to learn about Zan's mental state, but this was far more interesting and unlike other subjects, the man was actually willing to talk about it with only the minimum of prompting. Zan gave him a look of undisguised surprise. "You remember the story?" "Of course I do" Elliott rolled his eyes in the most typical 'my parent is a complete idiot' way ever. "MindWalker remember?" Zan gave a nod. "Fair point, the both of you were always gripped by those stories as kids." The second part was him talking out loud as opposed to speaking for the Earth group's benefit. "And yes, me being buried on Attil's other moon was indeed the plan, as you said to complete the myth." He gave a slight shrug. "Still very much is what I want. If the permits don't get revoked that is."

"You've arranged it already?" Cal asked, surprised, finding this level of planning about where he was going to be buried and why at direct odds with the Zan of earlier, whose attitude towards death was 'the sooner the better'. "It was all arranged years ago, a couple of months before you were born. In order to get the permits we had to pull the only string we could- Dakkon. He got us the permits with ease, but now he's cashing in, and there's no way I can get him what he wants. Mara's already buried, that can't be undone, but mine are all up in the air."

 

[MzHyde]

Kay and Fia both looked between Elliott and Zan as Elliott showed openly his curiosity and intrigue at the whole story that Zan had told them all. The fact that Elliott could remember the myth and story said a lot, and not just because he was a Mind Walker. It showed Fia that he did indeed remember good times of when he was a young kid and had both parents around. The comment from Zan about both Elliott and Cal being gripped by the stories as kids only proved Fia's assumption all the more. She could also tell just how much the man loved his late wife from the fond smile that never left his face as he spoke of her, showing Fia that the man was very capable of telling the truth without any hesitation. She may not have known about the story in question, but the fact Elliott brought it up told Fia that it was a promimant story if that was a question Elliott felt worthy of asking.

Hearing that it was indeed the plan to be buried on the other moon and Cal being utterly shocked that Zan had it planned already, made Fia look between Cal and Zan a couple of times before focusing on Zan as he gave his explanation. To her it made sense that he'd have it planned at or around the same time as Mara and surprisingly to herself, she was hoping that the permits wouldn't be revoked for him and he could still be buried there, if nothing else, for Maria's sake and not Zan's. Yet there was one thing that intrigued her the most, what it was that Dakkon was cashing in on that he couldn't get. "what is it he wants?" she couldn't stop herself asking, hoping she wouldn't regret it. Kay by this point had well and truly snapped back to reality mentally and was back in the room focus wise, listening to everything being said and asked. She too hoped Fia's question wouldn't come with some bombshell that they'd regret hearing, but she wasn't going to put it passed Zan to give them another bombshell to try and compute. This was Zan after all.

 

[_gallifrog_]

There was something very romantic about where Mara and Zan wanted to be buried, particularly when one knew the story inside out and back to front like Cal and Elliott did. The story was about two lovers, who went against the wills of the Fates (the all seeing all knowing gods of wisdom who dictated how everything in the mythological realms was to pan out), ran away together and became a couple. They had children and managed live a somehow normal life before being found out. As a punishment the lovers were turned to rock and fixed into orbit around the planet- near each other, but never passing close enough to touch, unable to intervene on events below, just looking down and watching over. The siblings saw no shame in nodding their agreement when Zan commented on how they'd always been engrossed by the myths and legends of Attil. It was completely true and there was no point in them dishonouring their mother's memory just to get a cheap shot at their father. Mara's memory wasn't something they should use against their father.

Jay couldn't help but shake her head and give a sigh that quite clearly conveyed 'oh you idiots' when Zan said they'd got the permits through Dakkon. Asking Dakkon for a favour was never a wise idea, not unless he already owed you one. The lizardkin always cashed in, and it was always in a way that benefited him and humiliated the person he was getting the favour from. She couldn't resist drawling sarcastically. "Well that was always going to end fucking FABULOUSLY." Zan simply nodded in agreement. "Oh believe me I know" and it was clear from his tone that he did indeed know Jay was right, having learned it the heard way."Dakkon's a fucking arsehole and I'm not just saying that because he's my boss." Just like when he spoke of the politicians who'd ordered his brainwashing there was a genuine hatred in the man's voice. "He'd love to replace me, but it'd take years to get somebody to the level I'm at." The man shrugged before moving on to answer Fia's question.

"Well, the vague and infuriating answer would be- something i used to have, but don't any more, something a number of people have said is cursed and something it's current owners would never give up and rightly so." "And the one that isn't so fuckin' infuriating?" John asked demanded with a glare. "He wants the sword." Dakkon replied, meeting his gaze, and making it abundantly clear which sword it was that he was referring to. "Not that I have any intention whatsoever of telling him that one of you lot has it hidden away somewhere. I've got enough on Dakkon to keep him at a stalemate, especially now that you know I'm the spook."

 

[MzHyde]

Seeing Jay react the way she did when finding out it was Dakkon who supplied Zan and Mars with the permits, Fia and Kay just knew from her tone how much of a bad idea it was on Zan's behalf. The fact that Zan couldn't even deny it or disagree with Jay said a thousand words in both their minds. Yet the pure hatred for Dakkon that came seething out of Zan really made the two of them see just how much Dakkon was not someone you wouldn't mess with or betray. When they met him briefly at the apartment, albeit on a professional manner they thought he was rather intimidating but alright. So to hear the hatred from Zan really made them question their first impressions of Dakkon and if they even got those impressions correct. They also couldn't help but realise what a leash he almost had on Dakkon by having so many years of work under his belt by being a spook.

Fia looked at Zan when he decided to answer her question, but it made her fold her arms across her chest and roll her eyes when he gave the infuriating and irritating answer. Though said answer did make her think of only one thing that could be so desperately wanted. She was about to express her assumption when John asked for the straight answer in a more demanding manner than polite query. As Zan gave him the straight answer, it confirmed her assumption completely. To her it could only have been the sword but it did make her start wondering why someone like Dakkon would want the blasted thing. "why the Hell does he want the sword?" Kay asked with a raised eyebrow, unaware that Fia was thinking the exact same thing. She would have thought if it was as cursed as people on Attil say it was, then surely no one would want it anywhere near them. She understood why people thought it cursed, she remembered the story surrounding it and why Dan had it locked up in the forge. So why anyone would want it if the belief in its curse was so great just did not make any sense to her.

 

[_gallifrog_]

When Zan described his first answer to the question of 'what is it that Dakkon wants?' as 'the infuriating and vague one' John couldn't help but scowl as one of his theories about the man was confirmed- that he'd been deliberately giving vague and infuriating answers on other occasions. If he was doing it to push their buttons, he had very much succeeded and John couldn't help but wonder what kind of sadistic kick the man got out of treating his kids (and the new extended family of his children in such a way). The others on the other hand, very much didn't like the sound of what Zan was describing- it sounded far too close to the sword that had scarred Elliott, the one that currently rested under one of the flagstones of Dan's forge.

There was sighs and scowls when Zan confirmed their suspicions, the lizardkin wanted the sword. Elliott could easily believe that the blade was cursed, as could Jay, Dan and Cal. They'd all held it for themselves and there was no doubt it was a beautiful and finely honed weapon, but it was one that none of them were destined to wield, everybody who'd held the sword that day had felt how it actively resisted them. Jay, who'd grown up learning the art of sword fighting for masters had tried a couple of sword footwork and agility formations only to be thrown right of balance by the resistance of the blade.

"The fuck if I know. I didn't let him talk long enough to explain why, just told him to fuck off, there's no way he's getting his hands on it. My reaction appears to have been enough to make him think I had it. Which is why he's always on to me about it, and hasn't switched tack to try and get it from which ever one of us does have it." Zan shrugged in response to Kay's question, genuine bemusement on his face. "And don't tell me who it is either with the amount of psych checks I have to go through on a regular basis, I doubt I could keep it secret for long." He added as a side note before getting back on point. Zan knew nobody would tell him, he'd been the one to abuse the sword first after all, but he wanted to make completely sure that the sword stayed well away from his boss.

"I just know it can't be good. It's Dakkon we're talking about, the lizardkin never does anything that doesn't benefit him in some way or another." Jay nodded in agreement, knowing all too well what the lizardkin was like. She may have a far better relationship with him than Dakkon did, but that didn't at all mean she was blind to his flaws. Jay knew that once Dakkon wanted something, he wouldn't stop until he got it, even if it meant leaving a trail of bodies in his wake. "So what do you have over him then?" Jay asked, raising an eyebrow, having not forgotten the man's earlier comment about having enough to keep Dakkon at a stalemate. "It's got to be pretty serious stuff for Dak to back the fuck off. He'd quite happily murder you to get the sword." "Oh I know he would" the man smirked "there's a great irony in that, as he could tear everywhere I own apart and he still wouldn't find it. As for what I've got.... I can prove he's he's broken CR-17 protocol. It's not enough to completely destroy him, but it will ensure he'd never recruit another teenage agent again."

 

[MzHyde]

Kay listened to Zan's reply to her question, somewhat internally surprised he didn't try and grill the lizardkin on why he would want the sword. Sure, she could understand why he'd tell the man to fuck off and that he would never have it, but she couldn't say she wouldn't have at least tried to get an answer out of Dakkon for why it was wanted if she was in Zan's shoes. For something that has such a history as the sword does, if she was Zan she would have definitely tried to demand why Dakkon would want it before telling him to fuck off. She wouldn't want to be left in the dark about Dakkon's motives for the sword, and now she (and their whole group) know as much as Zan does, she most definitely feels even more in the dark about everything than ever before and that did not sit well with her at all. The moment he said not to tell him which of them had it, she gave him the look of 'like hell any of us would' but not in as much of a malicious tone as say John would if he gave him the look.

She continued to listen to what Zan had to say, every few words glancing at Jay for clarification on what Zan was saying, knowing that out of all of them, it was Jay who could confirm or deny anything Zan said about Dakkon. With Jay taking up the moment to ask him what he had over Dakkon, she and Fia both wanted to know the answer with great interest, especially as Jay said it would have to be something on a massive scale to make someone of Dakkon's caliber back off. They both listened to the answer, both raising their eyebrows in unison when he mentioned a particular protocol codename, "and for those of us who don't know protocol codes... What's CR-17?" Fia asked, hoping that if Zan didn't answer, Jay would. When Fia asked the question, Kay was surprised that Fia decided to speak up again after the earlier issue she had taken against Zan, but she had to admit she was glad her kid did ask it, as she was wondering the same thing.

 

[_gallifrog_]

John was both disappointed and frustrated to learn that Zan hadn't even bothered to find out why exactly Dakkon wanted the blade. Telling him to fuck off and that he wouldn't get it was a good move and one John did indeed approve of. The sword had ruined a whole heap of lives (both directly and indirectly) and in the hands of an incredibly powerful spook with connections who knows where and an approach to morality that would make some demons envious.... it couldn't be a good thing that Dakkon wanted to do with it. John would have liked to be able to take the higher ground and say he'd have heard Dakkon out, but if the sword had been in John's possession, the mage knew he damn well wouldn't have heard out anybody who wanted it, especially not somebody who would blackmail him in order to get their hands on the sword.

As much as both siblings detested not being in the know as to why the lizardkin wanted the sword, they had to grudgingly admit that Zan's response had been one they approved of. Neither wanted anybody getting their hands on that blade, no matter what side of the moral compass they were on. Both were very interested to hear that their father had some form of blackmail material that was serious enough to get Dakkon to back the hell off. The lizardkin was powerful physically, they'd seen that for themselves, but according he also had the power to completely ruin the lives of anybody who got in his way. (She had the stories to back up this belief and told one of them shortly after the lizardkin had left). Hearing Dakkon had breached some kind of protocal piqued their interest very much (along with the interest of everybody else in the room) and all eyes flicked to their resident assassin and spook expert, awaiting her reaction.

Jay furrowed her eyebrows together at the mention of CR-17 protocol, she knew the name, had heard it thrown around quite a number of times by spooks, particularly in context of their bosses. It was a serious offence, but for the life of her she couldn't remember what exactly it was about. "I never read the full handbook to being a spook- if such a thing even exists- and I can't say I know ALL the protocol codes. But..." she paused slightly in though. "I've heard of it before, breaching it is a serious offence......obviously it is, or he wouldn't be using it to blackmail his boss" Jay couldn't help but smirk at that. She was kind of impressed, it took a person with serious balls to blackmail Dakkon, much less succeed. "R is for recruitment, I know that much- and going by what you perceive the retributions would be..... it's something to do with recruiting teenagers."

Zan nodded as Jay spoke, her thoughts were right so far. "Pretty much spot on. There is a actually handbook of regulations and protocol coded- it's mind-numbingly boring, I wouldn't recommend reading it at all. I only did as I had a broken leg at the time and was going out of my mind with boredom. CR-17 refers to the code of behaviour for the recruitment of minors who are suffering from post-traumatic stress disorders or any similar trauma-related mental problem that results in the minor in question getting flashbacks, panic attacks or fits of psychosis when exposed to a certain trigger. The gist of it is that as a recruiter you don't do anything that would cause said minor to have flashbacks, panic attacks or fits of psychosis. Dakkon didn't obey that, and there's no excuse as it was written in big red letters at the top of the file that the kid he was wanting to recruit had been through sever trauma and was not dealing with it well."

 

[MzHyde]

Kay and Fia both looked on toward Jay as she furrowed her eyebrows together trying to remember what the protocol code actually meant, telling them both that it rang a bell with the woman, but she just couldn't fully remember it's meaning without saying me real thought being put into it. They both understood Jay's reasonings for not fully recalling the entire meaning of the code, not holding it against the woman for not knowing absolutely everything. They only ever turned to her for any kind of validation because she seemed to be the one who knew more about the spook side of things than any of them in their group. Hearing her say that she remembered the R stood for recruitment, Fia's mind instantly went into wondering if the C meant children, and being the only teenager in the room at this moment, it didn't sit right with her at all.

For the first time, it made her feel uncomfortable but she had learned a while ago how to not to let it show outwardly, not wanting to show Zan that any of them were feeling anything but annoyance with him and the situation. They listened to Zan confirm the whole vague memory of Jay's recollection and how he came to learning all the protocol codes and their meanings, Kay just keeping all thoughts to herself initially as she let the information sink into her mind. Listening to the fact that Dakkon broke such an important protocol and no doubt traumatising a kid even more than they already were made her feel anger at Dakkon for doing such a thing to a child. She felt even more glad that they all had no problems in not letting Dakkon know anything about them when he visited the apartment. She found herself having to actively grit her teeth shut so she wouldn't say something unsavory about Dakkon and the story. Every part of her knew if she said so much as one word she wouldn't stop and knew full well her hormones were partly to do with her internal reaction over it all.

She didn't even know how much more she could listen to, knowing if she wasn't careful and made more effort to be objective, she would have to step outside to get some air. Fia found herself gritting her teeth tightly that she almost growled in a very low inaudible manner out of annoyance that someone could treat another vulnerable person in such a way.

 

[_gallifrog_]

Cal and Elliott couldn't help but smirk and roll their eyes ever so slightly at the idea of their father reading an entire manual of protocols because he was bored. It fit with what they knew to be true- he was a voracious reader and with perfect recall re-reading books was rarely and enjoyable exercise. When Cliff heard CR-17 she instinctively ran through various hospital procedures and their assigned shorthands (which were put on the patient cards at the end of the bed, so any doctor or nurse would only need a few seconds to get up to speed), looking for a CR-17. There was actually one, but she somehow doubted that the CR-17 Dakkon had broken was anything to do with small children shoving objects so far up their noses that they lodged there and restricted breathing.

It was a surprise of sorts that for once Jay didn't know the answer. So far she'd been able to answer everything spook related their group had thrown at her, but this was the first time she'd been stumped. Elliott would have teased her a little or it, had it not been for the severity of the situation. All eyes fell on Zan to explain, which he did. The protocol made complete and utter sense to all of them, provoking a traumatised kid would only end badly for the kid, undoing any progress that had been made to help the child in question get over their past trauma. To hear that it had been written on the kid's file in bold letters and Dakkon had just not bothered to look, or worse still, ignored them, well, it wasn't only Fia's blood that was boiling at the thought. For once it was Cliff as opposed to Cal who was furious to the point of losing control, she had lost her hearing under traumatic circumstances and had initially not dealt well with it at all. The idea of somebody provoking her in that vulnerable state, she couldn't even think about it. Cal, sensing her wife's distress, laid a hand on the other woman's shoulder and squeezed, using their bond to ground the other woman.

Elliott on the other hand felt physically sick right down to his core. He'd been traumatised for years by what had happened on Attil, there was no understating just how much it had affected his life and those around him. Even now, he wasn't totally over it, as he'd found out in a sparring session with Jay, if somebody was to put a knife to his eye he just shut down, unable to think, unable to breathe. "So how the hell d'you know about this then?" John asked, crossing his arms glaring at Zan once again. Never mind the fact that Dakkon had traumatised some kid while trying to recruit them (the lizardkin had presumably tried to bury all evidence of what he'd done to the poor bugger in question) what John wanted to know was how the Hells Zan had managed to get his hands on this information. In John's mind there was only one possible answer- Elliott's birth father had been there when it happened. The man had had a chance to stop it and had done nothing, instead choosing to use some kids trauma as blackmail material. It took a certain kind of hard-hearted bastard to do that. "Were you involved too? Help traumatise another kid and fuck up 'is life?"

For the first time the hatred and spite in John's tone really hit home in the other man and John found him on the receiving end of a glare filled with both hatred and offence. If Zan had had laser-eyes like Superman, John's head would have been vaporised into another dimension. The man walked over to one of the bookshelves and pulled out a section of the books and after setting them to one side unstuck a file from the back of the shelf, It was covered in some kind of very thin wood to blend it in with the rest of the shelf. He opened it to the front page and slapped it down on the table for all to see. The document headers told them it was a document from one of Attil's off-world cadet training sites and just as Zan had said the first third of the page was covered in bold red lettering.

Teenage Trauma Victim- Severity level: Alpha
Confirmed PTSD, survivor's guilt and genetic markers suggesting a predisposition to depression
Suspected suicidal intentions, repressed memories
Known triggers: guns to the head, graphic images of mutilated bodies, large quantities of blood
NOT TO BE INTERVIEWED WITHOUT A TRAINED PSYCHOLOGIST PRESENT​

There was a headshot of the cadet in question attached to the bottom of the paper with a paperclip. The boy had his hair buzzed short exposing a series of thin, pale surgical scars across the left hand side of his head and was glaring at the camera with an expression identical to the one Zan had on him right now. "Oh I was there all right, I was the kid."

 

[MzHyde]

Cliff's fury didn't go amiss on Kay, she said nothing, didn't make a single gesture other than noticing that Cal had her wife's back and was using their bond to calm Cliff and help give her some control from the news. Fia also noticed how Elliott changed his body language ever so slightly, knowing that this news had to be a trigger for him also, having heard the stories of how he was when John and Chas first found him. If she was stood any closer to Elliott she probably would have given him some kind of supportive gesture, but she just wasn't close enough with the others in between. Both herself and Kay looked at John as he sneered at Zan asking his question, a question that was only now crossing their minds now it had been asked openly. If the news hadn't shocked them so much, they probably would have thought of it a lot quicker, but it was a lot to take in that it just fogged their minds completely. They both also knew this was not going to sit well or be taken well in any form by John, knowing kids were his weak point.

Seeing the accusation that John made create one hell of a glare from Zan in return, they felt glad that Zan wasn't carrying a weapon or had powers that could harm John as they only knew that fight would not end well for any of them. They watched on as Zan went to the book shelf, making sure to watch his every move whilst being on high alert, not knowing initially what he was going for hidden inside the bookshelf. Kay placed a hand softly and slowly onto John's back over his shoulder blade to try and calm him just a little bit (and if she was honest, herself) as Zan then revealed the file, opening it and letting them all see the bold writing. Reading the triggers and other information made Kay cover her mouth in response, her heart breaking reading it before the shock took over when Zan said it was him. The photo barely resembled Zan, the scars and glare was surely to be in her mind for a long while. Fia didn't even know how to react, her mind and body just still, frozen on the spot of where she was. Her mind racing as she tried to compute this next bombshell Zan was giving them, showing that Zan truly was feeling the way he was for such a long time.

 

[_gallifrog_]

Chas' initial thought when John asked his question was 'that's a very good point'. It didn't need saying that Dakkon would try to bury such an incident. From what Jay had told them, there was a very strict set of codes that had to be upheld with regards to treatment of agents, their training and their recruitment. That kind of scandal would massively fuck over somebody on earth- their career nose-diving to the point of ruin. There was no denying that Zan had an ace when it came to blackmailing his boss. The cabbie could see John's train of thought easily, as could the others. The only people who could possibly know about this were those who'd been there when it happened, and those who'd helped cover it up. Both Cal and Elliott were shocked by the accusation- the idea of Zan being the kind of cold calculating person who'd use a traumatised kid's horrific experience as blackmail fodder sickened both of them. Zan was a father, and both couldn't help but wonder if he'd be willing to use them or their experiences in such a manner. Both turned to glare at their father, but the expression on he man's face stopped them in their tracks.

Dan knew a few seconds before everybody else did that John's assumption that Zan had been involved in ruining another kid's life was completely wrong. He could feel the wave of anger ripple of Zan before the fuming expression came onto the man's face. He could also feel that the other man was both hurt and offended that anybody thought he'd be callous enough to sit by and let a kids life be ruined. Dan knew that whatever had transpired when Dakkon provoked that traumatised kid, it was personal for Zan, which by extension meant that Zan's hatred of Dakkon stemmed from more than just the fact that Dakkon was his boss and a general arsehole. An empath more sensitive than him would have been able to pick up on the exact reasons why Zan was so angry and so offended, but would also have more than likely been overwhelmed by the emotions rolling off the man.

Kay putting her hand on his back did little to calm John, he was well and truly seeing red. Kids were his weak spot after all, and as Dakkon wasn't in the room John couldn't give the lizardkin a piece of his mind, so all the anger was directed at Zan instead. But when the other man met, and matched John's glare with one of his own- mottled gold and turquoise eyes unblinkingly meeting icy blue ones John knew he'd inadvertently put his foot in something major. Nothing any of them had said so far had provoked this kind of reaction in Elliott's and Cal's birth father and for the first time he began to wonder if he'd gotten the wrong end of the stick. That suspicion was confirmed when Zan removed the concealed file from his book shelf (under other circumstances quite a few people in the room would have been impressed by how the man had managed to conceal it without having to resort to the classic fake book) and slammed it down on the table with enough force to make both chopsticks from his long-forgotten meal jump off the table.

And there it was, right in front of him in black and white- well technically red and white- a warning that nobody could possibly have missed. Even if you were colourblind the text with bold and underlined, demanding attention. It took his brain a few seconds to process both what the words said and what Zan was saying in a tone filled with barely restrained fury, but once he did, it was like a punch to the gut, a knee to the balls and a blow round the back of the head with a cricket bat all at once. He couldn't possibly have been more wrong, nor more offensive about it. John paled slightly as he leaned forwards to get a better look, eyes flicking between the photo of the teenager with the shaved head, the words on the page and the man in front of him. The word matched what Zan had said about his mental state, but somehow seeing it all typed out like this made it worse. John had spent years helping Elliott to overcome his traumas and years ignoring his own traumas, which had been far from easy- very much road of two steps forwards three steps back- but looking at the words in front of him, it was all too possible that Zan had had it worse than both of them. With triggers like that and being in a military setting... John didn't even want to imagine how whoever had complied this file had found out about these triggers. The physical resemblance wasn't easy to see at first, the scowl and scars (which John guessed to be surgical- they were too straight an thin to be from a beating) demanded attention, as with anybody who shaved their head, the shape of the skull and the shape of the head with hair very very different. But once John looked past them, he could see it. There scowling boy had the same high cheekbones he'd come to associate with Elliott and by flicking between adult Zan and eighteen/nineteen year old Zan he could see a whole pile of other facial features that matched up. "Bloody Hells." John gasped, putting a hard emphasis on the 'dy' syllable, shaking his head in disbelief.

 

[MzHyde]

It took quite a bit of looking at the photo headshot of young Zan for Fia to really suddenly see that yes, Zan was telling the truth, it was him who was the victim of Dakkon's cruel and barbaric breaking of protocol. She could see how it shocked Kay and everyone else was at the revelation that was just thrown at them. Yet it was seeing the stages of John realising just how wrong he was with his assumption that stood out to Fia the most. She watched as John looked at the file, read the words and scrutinised the photo, as well as listening to the few words Zan said, making him feel so many rough emotions all at once. She could see how much his initial assumption backfired and made him feel like he'd gone ten round with Tyson Fury before finally managing to get two words out of his mouth.

Kay couldn't even say 'bloody hell' like John did, she was just computing everything and found the anger from being so offended of the accusations John gave Zan echo in her mind. She took in the file's contents as best she could before looking away from it. She couldn't keep looking and reading the file forever, it would just make her more and more worked up and that wasn't healthy for her right now or unborn Fia. She had no way of knowing if John would actually apologise for accusing Zan of helping Dakkon all but torture a kid or not but no matter the self pride John had on certain things, she hoped he would be at least feeling damn sorry for such an accusation, even if it wasn't openly expressed. It also made her wonder just old Dakkon truly was, but that was soon put to the back of her kind as it wasn't important right here and right now. "I'm sorry you had to go through that" she finally quietly said to Zan. She couldn't believe she was saying it, but in her eyes no matter how disgusting of a person he had been, no one deserved all that that Dakkon did to him after the trauma of the gang violence and losing his friends. If no one else would say it, she damn well will, but it didn't mean she was beginning to fall on Zan's side in the slightest, and she always made that clear.