Indelible (For Caspen)

((I think skip, 'cause otherwise there's not much to do while he's hurt))


Fenris


I should have expected the nightmares, but I hadn't. Another fault of mine. They were terrible, keeping him awake long into the night and terrorizing him when he slept. I tried to wake him when they started, hoping to prevent it, but after a day or two ended up simply sleeping in his bed with him to help him feel like he wasn't alone, and also so that he wouldn't thrash and hurt himself. We spent weeks in the hospital while he healed, until finally he was able to stand and move about on his own without much pain. Only then did I finally let us both leave. I really wasn't quite sure which of us looked more greatful to go.


When we were home again, I set Trevor up in his room and left him to take one his first real baths in a while while I made a list of what we would need. Clothing, of course, as he couldn't keep wearing mine, and lots of toiletries I usually bought anyway. Groceries, since we'd been out of the house a while and things in the fridge had likely spoiled. It was going to be a long day, probably. I would just check and see if he was ready when he was clean and rested. We could always break it all into more manageable pieces.
 
Trevor:

Trevor was extremely happy to get out of the hospital, still uneasy in them. When he was set up in the room, Trevor felt more comfortable and a bit more settled in. He was left to take a bath and went over to the bathroom, getting ready. He took the bath and dressed quickly. After he finished the bath, Trevor stepped outside the door and looked around for Fenris.

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(( sorry its so short, I've got the flu... ))

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((Sorry it took so long. My mom's come down with a cold or something so I had to do all the shopping and house cleaning today))


Fenris


I was dusting downstairs, the house having gotten a little dirty, when I heard the footsteps above. I made my way up and got to the top in time to see him looking about. "I'm right here." I said, quietly so as not to startle him. "Did you need anything? I'd thought you would want to rest longer, so I was tidying up a bit." I'd expected him to just sleep some more after his bath, but I supposed he'd grown used to my being there. I wondered if he would ever sleep in his own bed again.
 
Trevor:

Trevor found himself relieved when he heard Fenris's voice. Shaking his head, Trevor watched Fenris carefully, "I'm not really that tired after sleeping so much at the hospital anyways." He chewed his lip a little bit and then gave a small smile to his master. He had never felt better for as long as he could remember. He had eaten, drank, most of his bones were healing or healed, he had been able to sleep for more then an hour or two, and for once, he was not terrified every waking second.

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Fenris


"Oh." I just nodded, walking over to him. "All right. Do you want to come sit downstairs, then? You've never gotten a proper tour." I smiled and held out a hand for him. "You can watch me make dinner." Even if he wasn't tired, he was usually hungry. After the first few days of being careful with the amount of food he ate, I'd had no trouble getting him to do so. It just took his body a while to adjust to the 'normal' levels of nutrition.
 
Trevor:

The transition from barely eating was very rough at first, but he had gotten more and more used to being able to eat. He smiled slightly and took the man's hand, timidly following him down the stairs. While his hand was in Fenris's hand, Trevor felt safer than he had the entire time. They reached the kitchen where Fenris would be cooking and Trevor bit his lip gently before speaking in a hushed voice, "If you don't mind me asking... well... I was just wondering... why are you being nice to me?" He looked directly at his own feet the entire time, feeling odd asking the question.

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Fenris


"Hm?" I glanced back at him as I got him a chair, giving a small, uncertain smile as I set it down where he could have a good view of the kitchen. "I'm sorry? I . . . I don't think I quite understand." Nice? Was I not supposed to be nice? Was he unhappy? I'd thought I'd done everything I could to make sure he was happy. If there was something else I could do, I would certainly listen.
 
Trevor:

Lifting his head up a little bit more as he spoke, Trevor stood next to the chair, uncertain, "It is just that... Well- in my experience... People are not just nice to me like you are... and I- I just don't know why you would be nice to me." He didn't really know what to say to him beyond that and was worried that Fenris might be upset with him.

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Fenris


"Why . . . I . . . Oh." I blinked, a little surprised and more than a little confused until I got it, and I started to hurt a little. "Oh. . . I . . ." I shook my head firmly. "Then, you have been around the very wrong type of people." It wasn't possible for him to have been with anyone else. Only the bad types went to slave markets. "I don't want anything from you." I said, moving away to start preparing for making dinner because I was truthfully uncomfortable. "I don't want anything from you except . . . except for you to be here. That's all. . . So . . . So I do what I can to keep you here." I shook my head again, flushing slightly because that was the wrong choice of words. "What I can to make sure you want to be here." I wanted him to be healthy, and safe, and happy. And here. . . That was all.
 
Trevor:

Trevor felt a lot better when Fenris said that, more comforted. He sat in the chair and watched Fenris cook. He had never been around anyone who was nice to him just for the sake of being nice to him. It felt weird, but it was a great feeling.

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((sorry for the short post... ))

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Fenris


I talked to Trevor as I cooked, trying to keep us both occupied. When dinner was ready, I set it out on the table and had him stand so I could move his chair. When he was settled, I got glasses for us. "What would you like to drink?"


((Likewise. I gtg to work now))
 
Trevor:

As he walked over to the table and took a seat, Trevor shrugged, "Anything is fine, Fenris." Looking around the room, Trevor tried to get the layout of the place. His eyes mainly stayed on Fenris, however. The smell of the food Fenris had cooked filled the room and Trevor felt himself wanting the food even more. He had never been cooked for before by anyone.

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Fenris-


I nodded and just walked away,deliberating before I decided on water, just to be safe. I had milk and orange juice but didn't want to risk either after weeks in the fridge. I was lucky I'd had pasta and unopened sauce containers to use since everything else in the fridge had probably spoiled by now. I gave him his drink and got one for myself, then sat down across from him. For a moment i just sat there, looking at him, and then smiled a little at the confused look he gave me.


"You . . ." I stopped and ran a hand up and down the back of my neck, a nervous habit. "Oh, its silly. . . Just, youve been saying my name more often. . . Its nice." I hoped it meant he trusted me. Hoped it meant he liked it here and felt more comfortable around me now. I shook my head, dismissing the silly notion, and just gestured to his food with my own fork. "I hope you like it. I didn't have much to work with. Ill have to restock the kitchen today or tomorrow."
 
Trevor:

As the man sat down across from him, Trevor gave him a small smile. The smell of the food reached his nose and he couldn't imagine a better place to be at that moment. Fenris spoke to him and Trevor bit his lip slightly, unsure of what to say. In the pause before it's nice, Trevor worried that Fenris was upset with it. But after that, he realized that Fenris liked it. He hadn't even noticed himself doing it and he wasn't sure why.

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He pointed at my plate and I supposed it meant for me to eat. After taking a bite I lifted my head up and met his eyes, "It is so good... It's delicious... thank you so much."

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Fenris-


I smiled a little. "It's nothing, really. Honestly." I shook my head. "I'll make something better for you once I've restocked." What had he been eating before this? Probably not much, or anything good, or anything healthy. I was beginning to make it my single goal in life to fatten him up and make sure he enjoyed everything he ate on the way there. I hoped I could at least. I didn't want to be able to see his ribs anymore. I didn't want to feel like I would break him every time I touched him. It was a scary feeling, probably for both of us.
 
Trevor:

As he ate, Trevor made sure to keep his eyes moving, watching Fenris carefully. He finished up the food quickly, then looked up at Fenris, "What all did you want to do today?" He watched him carefully, wondering what he had planned for the day.

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Fenris


I was a little slower than he was in eating, but stopped so that I could answer his questions when he asked. "If you're feeling up to a little walking, I'd like to go out and shop for you today. You'll need your own clothes." I smiled a little. "Mine hang off you too much. It can't be very comfortable. You'll need shoes, too, and toiletries, and anything else you can think of that you might want."
 
Trevor:

He nodded, "Okay, and yes I can walk... Thank you for letting me barrow your clothes." Trevor seemed even smaller in Fenris's clothes than he already was, but they were clothes and he wasn't used to wearing clothes that were his anyway. He held the plate in his hand and gave Fenris a questioning look, "May I wash this off now, sir?" He called him Fenris more often now, but he still called him sir at times.

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Fenris


I shook my head and got up, taking the plate from him. "Don't worry. I'll get it." I took his plate and mine, dumping what was left of mine because I hadn't really been that hungry to start with. I rinsed them both and put them in the dishwasher. "You don't have to thank me for letting you borrow clothes." I smiled a little. "It's not like I could've let you walk around without them." I dried my hands on a towel and walked back towards the stairs, waving him with me. "In any case, if you're ready we can go now. I just need my keys and wallet."
 
Trevor:

Standing, Trevor took a deep breath before joining Fenris at the stairs. He hadn't really been out and about like most people were for a very long time. He shoved those thoughts aside and stood next to Fenris, smiling slightly, "Yes, I'm ready to go." He stood with both feet touching at the heels, toes pointing out and his hands clasped together, fingers intertwined.

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Fenris


I got my wallet and keys and brought down a pair of sandals for him to wear. "You can wear these until we get you new ones." They were better than tennis shoes when it came to not being the right size. I waited a moment for him to get them on, then smiled a bit and led him to the door. "Let's go, then. Maybe we'll get ice cream after."
 
Trevor:

After slipping on the shoes, he followed Fenris out the door, chewing the inside of his mouth a little bit. He heard Fenris say something about ice cream. He had certainly heard the word before, and may have even had it before, but he couldn't recall ever having it. He tried to think over what it might be, but decided not to mention it to Fenris. He was sure there would be many things he was not know about in the coming days.

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Fenris


I took him out to the car and buckled him in once I was in my own seat, since he didn't seem to know how. I pulled out of the driveway onto the street after that, checking carefully for cars because I didn't want to scare him by stopping suddenly, and then we were on our way. I flicked on the radio, finding something good enough and just letting it play quietly. "You can change the station if you want." I just didn't think he liked silence anymore than I did.
 
Trevor:

He sat there in the car, watching everything around them as they went by, "Oh, it's okay..." As the pair rode down the streets to their destination, Trevor just thought about everything ; what had happened, what was going to happen, just everything.

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Fenris


He was silent as we drove, so I let him be, ignored the silence myself and focused on driving. When we got out of the car in the parking lot, I waited for him and took his hand, knowing there would be more people here than he was probably used to and not wanting him to get nervous. "We'll look at shoes first, all right? If we did clothes first we'd have too much to carry. . . Oh, but we should probably get a basket anyway." I could push it one-handed.
 
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