ohdittoh
still kicking :)
nickie abrams
you've just gotta keep on, keep on.
How are you feeling?
...
What are you wearing?
Where are you?
Gen's place.
Did you mention anyone?
Ash. Charlie. Rome.
Who are you talking to?
Hunter.
And, like, who are tagging, exactly?
Can I get a tl;dr?
Nickie gets a refill of her drink and waits for Hunter to break things off.
Nickie’s brows knit as Hunter made a lame attempt at a conversation change by suggesting that he get her a refill.
Shit, she’d made things awkward and tense again. She was blowing this.
“Yeah,” she agreed, lifting her eyes for a moment and giving him a small smile before looking away again. “Thanks.” She let him take her cup, and her eyes followed after him as he walked away from her.
She leaned her head back against the wall, closing her eyes and letting out a slow exhale.
Party. She was at a party right now. You know, those things that she used to be at the center of. The ones that she used to guzzle alcohol with Ash at. The ones that she used to dance with Charlie at. The ones that she used to hype Rome up about his dance moves at. The ones that she used to get plastered and laid at, while everyone look along and laughed with her.
She used to enjoy this, but now, without the alcohol in her hand and without Hunter, one of the only people who didn’t hate her, at her side, she opened her lips and whispered to herself, “What…the hell…am I doing here?”
She wasn’t dancing. She wasn’t smiling. She wasn’t having a drinking contest that she was competing in even though she knew that she would lose. She didn’t have her arm around another drunk girl as she screamed the lyrics to some song that she barely knew, and she didn’t have her lips against a boy who she would probably never see again. Tonight, if she was lucky enough to not break down sobbing and passing out in her vehicle, she would go home to her empty apartment, smelling like the scent that she hated— alcohol— and flopping face down on her bed, and she would cry herself to sleep. Hunter would discard her, cut her off here at this party, and she’d do that thing that she did where she looked down the faces of those who hated her and spat in them because she couldn’t let anyone go on good terms because that wasn’t what she did or whatever the hell.
She braced herself for impact, trying not to let her tears flow preemptively.
Was she going to have to do that thing, too? That thing where she took a bottle just to forget what was happening, just so that she could black out and magically wake up in the same shitty world ten hours later with an aching head in a place that she didn’t recognize?
She lifted her head, glancing around herself again. Gorgeous people who hated her surrounded her, staring at her and talking about her. It’s what she’d thought before, it was what she thought now. No, she didn’t just think it, actually. She knew it.
As she watched Hunter approach again, she braced herself. She was going to take this on her chin and not break down in front of him. She was going to make it to her car, at least.
“Thanks,” she muttered as she took the cup from him and took a large gulp, holding back a grimace as the foul smell hit her nose.
She lowered her cup, her eyes lifting to Hunter as the silence grew between them.
Go on, she begged him. Please. So I can get drunk quicker, and so I don’t end up wasting your time any longer.
“Hunter,” she said quietly, “go ahead and say it.”
She lifted her eyes to him. “I know how you feel about me. Just...please say it.”
I can’t take this any longer.
Shit, she’d made things awkward and tense again. She was blowing this.
“Yeah,” she agreed, lifting her eyes for a moment and giving him a small smile before looking away again. “Thanks.” She let him take her cup, and her eyes followed after him as he walked away from her.
She leaned her head back against the wall, closing her eyes and letting out a slow exhale.
Party. She was at a party right now. You know, those things that she used to be at the center of. The ones that she used to guzzle alcohol with Ash at. The ones that she used to dance with Charlie at. The ones that she used to hype Rome up about his dance moves at. The ones that she used to get plastered and laid at, while everyone look along and laughed with her.
She used to enjoy this, but now, without the alcohol in her hand and without Hunter, one of the only people who didn’t hate her, at her side, she opened her lips and whispered to herself, “What…the hell…am I doing here?”
She wasn’t dancing. She wasn’t smiling. She wasn’t having a drinking contest that she was competing in even though she knew that she would lose. She didn’t have her arm around another drunk girl as she screamed the lyrics to some song that she barely knew, and she didn’t have her lips against a boy who she would probably never see again. Tonight, if she was lucky enough to not break down sobbing and passing out in her vehicle, she would go home to her empty apartment, smelling like the scent that she hated— alcohol— and flopping face down on her bed, and she would cry herself to sleep. Hunter would discard her, cut her off here at this party, and she’d do that thing that she did where she looked down the faces of those who hated her and spat in them because she couldn’t let anyone go on good terms because that wasn’t what she did or whatever the hell.
She braced herself for impact, trying not to let her tears flow preemptively.
Was she going to have to do that thing, too? That thing where she took a bottle just to forget what was happening, just so that she could black out and magically wake up in the same shitty world ten hours later with an aching head in a place that she didn’t recognize?
She lifted her head, glancing around herself again. Gorgeous people who hated her surrounded her, staring at her and talking about her. It’s what she’d thought before, it was what she thought now. No, she didn’t just think it, actually. She knew it.
As she watched Hunter approach again, she braced herself. She was going to take this on her chin and not break down in front of him. She was going to make it to her car, at least.
“Thanks,” she muttered as she took the cup from him and took a large gulp, holding back a grimace as the foul smell hit her nose.
She lowered her cup, her eyes lifting to Hunter as the silence grew between them.
Go on, she begged him. Please. So I can get drunk quicker, and so I don’t end up wasting your time any longer.
“Hunter,” she said quietly, “go ahead and say it.”
She lifted her eyes to him. “I know how you feel about me. Just...please say it.”
I can’t take this any longer.
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